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“How to Talk to Girls at Parties” is a narration of a memory by the story’s lead character. Its writing utilizes a first-person point-of-view, as the narrator Enn recounts the events of the night he and his friend Vic attend a house party in Croydon in the 1970s.

Exposition

The short story opens through a conversation between the two leading characters, Enn and Vic. Vic introduces the idea of attending a house party later that night, to which Enn initially declines. Following the friends’ conversation, the readers are immediately provided with a brief background on the two boys through the narrator as he outlines their divergent personalities: Vic, the "ladies' man" who has had many girlfriends;  and Enn, who hardly has had any experience with girls to begin with—with the exception of three of his sister’s friends.

The boys make their way to the house party, eventually losing their way. Enn swiftly uses this as an opportunity to try and opt out of the plan, until Vic suggests to just walk down the road to look for the location. As they walk past narrow houses and newsagents, Enn states that getting together with girls was not a problem for his friend; one urchin grin from Vic and he could have his pick of the room. To which Vic replies, “You've just got to talk."—an effort Enn clearly struggles with.

Rising Action

Shortly afterwards, the faint pulsing of music is heard as the friends walk the curve of the road—Enn’s hopes that the party would prove unfindable soon began to fade. As the boys reach the house, they are greeted by a young girl described to be beautiful and having golden, wavy hair. Vic introduces themselves as friends of Alison, to which the girl replies “No Alison.” Nonetheless, she invites them into the house—the girl introduces herself as Stella. Eventually, Vic soon becomes preoccupied with Stella, leaving Enn to wander around the party with a Coca-Cola in hand.

While exploring the house, Enn soon encounters the conservatory wherein he meets a white-haired girl named Wain’s Wain. Sitting down beside her, Enn tries to converse in small talk—Wain’s Wain illustrates her status as a second, as well as her obligation to report back to her progenitor her impressions on “this place of yours.” Clearly puzzled, Enn asks Wain’s Wain to dance, to which she counters saying that she is not permitted to do so. Enn then advances to offering her something to drink, to which she requests a cup of water. He shortly leaves to the kitchen to comply, and returns to find that Wain’s Wain has gone.

Wandering into the living room, Enn takes a seat beside a gap-toothed, dark-haired girl and offers her the unused cup of water. The girl hesitatingly takes it, as Enn notes that it was “as if she were unused to taking things.” The girl starts a conversation with him saying that she loves being a tourist—chattering about her adventures going on the sun and swimming with whales. Enn notably does not actively listen to the girl’s stories, as he instead thinks of ways to get closer to her. He eventually does, and wraps an arm around the girl.

Vic then appears, notifying Enn that they were at the wrong party. As the latter considers leaving, Vic insists that they stay, eager to spend more time with his new girl Stella.

Climax

As Enn returns back to the living room, he finds that several other people have taken his place on the sofa beside the gap-toothed girl. Defeated, he finds his way back to the kitchen where he meets a girl named Triolet—noting that her hair was a coppery auburn, tumbling around her head in ringlets. The two converse as Triolet explains to Enn the origins of her kind: that she is a poem, pattern, and a race of people whose world was swallowed by the sea, combined into one.

As they converse, the two edge closer to each other. Triolet leans into Enn and kisses him, in a way that is as if she has marked him as her own. The girl then offers to present a poem, to which Enn agrees. Although the Triolet’s poem is of a language foreign to him, Enn understands it completely, stating that he saw visions of the poem’s message in his mind’s eye. Enn only knew one thing at this point: that he wanted to kiss Triolet even more.

Rising Action

Enn soon gets pulled out of his trance by the Vic’s violent shaking. Shouting at Enn with fury in his voice, Vic hurriedly urges his friend to leave the party with him. Although Enn is puzzled by this, he does not resist; from experience, he knows how violent Vic can get when angry. As they leave the house, Enn looks over his shoulder to see Stella at the top of the stairs—with all the anger of the universe in her eyes.

Conclusion

The two boys ran away from the house until they were unable to run any longer. As they attempt to catch their breath, Vic throws up and mentions “"She wasn't a—”. He soon stops and rambles on about the dangers of going as far as you dare, and he states seeing things in the house he was not meant to see. He stops and eventually succumbs to tears, leaving Enn.

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Neil Gaiman utilizes two different types of conflict, entwined together to present the plot of “How to Talk to Girls at Parties”.

Man v.s. Man
Enn is constantly seen arguing with his friend Vic throughout the course of the story, as Vic—under the guise of being supportive—continuously pressures Enn into doing things he does not want to do nor is comfortable doing, as he takes advantage of him.

Man v.s. Society
Enn regularly deals with the pressures of society’s expectations as he struggles to uphold and internalize the accepted  “masculine” qualities and the established beliefs of what a “man” should be. Due to this, Enn is criticized by his peers.

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The memory the narrator recounts is set in the 1970s in the South English Town of Croydon, where author Neil Gaiman also grew up. Although this is the case, the readers are provided with no evidence to where Enn is situated at present—only that the story is being told 30 years into the future, in the early 2000s. Given the story’s set time period and Enn’s narration, it is made clear that the general conditions of the decade directly reflect the management of adults on their children at the time. Lax and inattentive—as the minors in the story are constantly seen without any adult supervision, and as they participate in illegal activities.

It is also worth noting that because the short story is set in the 1970s, social media is nonexistent. Due to this, children would have to make the effort of leaving the comfort and security of their homes in the case they wanted to socialize with other people their age. This is the main reason the two main characters attend the house party: expecting to meet girls their age as they both come from an all-boys school.

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Enn
Enn is the narrator and the leading character of the story. He is the only male child in the family with two younger sisters, which he describes as making him feel both unique and lonely. Enn is written to be reserved and guarded, as he does not have many friends his age. In comparison to his friend Vic, Enn is less free-spirited—needing his friend to constantly encourage and give him a push.

Vic
Vic is Enn’s best friend whom he attended an all-boys school with. He is the youngest of five boys in the family, granting him a lot more independence in comparison to his friend. He is described by Enn to be somewhat of a “playboy” and a “ladies’ man” as he outlines Vic’s experiences with girls. Vic is also written to be the more self-confident and assertive of the two.

Stella
Stella is the first girl Vic and Enn meet when they arrive at the house party, as she is the one who opens the door for the two. She has long, golden hair and is described by Enn to have a shining beauty—one that could be seen even in the dim of the twilight. Almost immediately, Vic tries to smooth-talk the girl and it works; Vic and Stella spend the entirety of the party together. As the boys leave the house towards the end of the story however, she is described to be seen holding all the anger in the universe in her eyes.

Wain’s Wain
Wain’s Wain is the first girl Enn encounters after his separation with his friend Vic. He finds her sitting at the glass-topped table in the conservatory with her hands clasped together. Wain’s Wain is a second, as she explains that her progenitor was also Wain. She has minor physical deformities, including a sixth finger. Because of this, she succumbs to harsh rules as she is not permitted to drink or dance unlike her sisters.

Gap-toothed Girl
Enn encounters the gap-toothed girl sitting on a sofa in the living room after Wain’s Wain’s disappearance. He offers her a cup of water, which Enn notes she takes extremely carefully, as if she were unused to taking things. She is described to have short and spiky dark hair, and, as her name suggests, a gap between her two front teeth.

Triolet
Triolet and Enn meet in the kitchen, following his conversation with the gap-toothed girl. He pours her a drink on her request and the two converse about the origins of the girl’s people. She is described by Enn to have coppery auburn hair, pale green eyes, and a flat profile. Eventually, the two share a kiss for a moment as she recites to him a poem.

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As the reader, I personally interpret “How to Talk to Girls at Parties” as a reflection of the teenage innocence and naivety. A major theme revisited throughout the short story is Enn’s insecurity when it comes to socializing with and talking to girls. Through his narration and conversation with his friend Vic, it is evident that he lacks self-confidence in this aspect: Enn even admits that he has not spoken a word to the girls he has previously kissed. Furthermore, the character is written as passive and reserved towards the girls in the party, often not listening to what they are saying. This further outlines Enn’s internal confusion and struggle towards the opposite sex, which highlights an actual phenomenon faced by teenage boys in real life, as well as one faced by teenage girls—that they are seen as objects to “collect” and not people to be listened to.

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I personally think that “How to Talk to Girls at Parties” is immensely relevant in today’s world despite its otherworldly characters and themes. Through the utilization of leading character Enn’s narration, the readers are offered a view of the fictional world through the male gaze: the portrayal of women as objects necessary to empower and pleasure men. Beyond this, the author makes use of several gender-specific stereotypes in the writing of the short story’s characters to further this point. For example, the two friends: Enn the “shy boy” and Vic the “ladies’ man”. Not only are the mentioned stereotypes extremely harmful to a teenage boy’s perception of himself and societal behaviors expected of him, but it also paints women in a negative light, often depicting them as objects meant for the character to “venture”.

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In the real world, the presence of gender-specific stereotyping cause adverse harmful effects towards young people; disorienting their perceptions about themselves and the opposite sex, as society regularly exposes them to ideas that depict how they should act and behave. In a way, its presence limits both men and women’s capacity to develop their own personal aspirations and abilities, as they are often fit into a box—more often than not, those who fail to conform with these norms face ridicule and derision.

The story’s leading character Enn generally views women as passive objects, most likely influenced by his childhood experiences and upbringing. To prove this, Enn questions Vic’s friendly advice to “just talk to them”. In the same way, girls’ voices are undervalued (if heard at all) in the real world: it is an expectation that women keep their positions in society, posing consequences for their futures and limiting their ability to reach their ambitions as they yield to their role in the household.

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Neil Gaiman writes “How to Talk to Girls at Parties” almost exceptionally, using the concept of otherworldly and supernatural beings to highlight a genuine phenomenon faced by people in real life. Although I admittedly found the piece difficult to understand initially, I greatly appreciate the complexity of the various themes presented throughout the story (e.g. gender stereotyping, underage drinking, struggles with self-confidence) as well as the excellently-written foreshadowing.

As a young woman, the piece greatly resonated with me as I have also faced experiences similar to the girls in the story. The story calls attention to the real-life perception of women, wherein they are seen as passive and less assertive than their male counterparts, as well as the maltreatment of young girls—as highlighted by the two friends’ objective of attending the house party to experience sexual interactions with the girls.