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Sarah was walking home from work when she had a feeling that she was being followed.

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The school bake-off was one day away and Mia had her grandma's famous cookie recipe. But disaster struck!

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Rain lashed against the windows as Lina finished her homework. A sudden thump at the back door sent shivers down her spine.

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Emily found a crumpled note tucked inside her locker at school. It was written with a shaky hand.

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In your groups, write a paragraph to build on the story and show suspense using word referents, red flag words and magic of 3. There need not be a revelation at the end of the paragraph.

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Write for the group assigned 2 stars and 1 wish.

Guidelines:

Your comments must the specific so the receiving group can benefit from it and know what to improve on, as well as what they have done well.

You can give comments on the following areas:

How effective the suspense is

The use of red flag words/word referents in bulding suspense

How they use the 'Magic of Three' to explore there senses in building suspense

Use of effective and precise descriptive phrases to create suspense

How the story builds up

How ef

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“Pitter-patter,pitter-patter”. The sounds of droplets of rain falling onto the cement road filled the air. Sarah’s bright umbrella contrasted to the dark surroundings surrounding her. Mould and algae grew in the areas where faded paint had chipped and started to peel. The alley was filled with darkness,the thick fog preventing any light from coming through. As Sarah walked uncertainly through the dark and deserted alley , thoughts of whether she made the right decision flooded into her mind like a tsunami.Just then , a glint of light reflected into the peripheral vision of her pupil .Her heart skipped.Was there someone behind me? Or was it just the light playing tricks with my eyes? She froze and peered into the darkness. Again, I didn’t see a thing. Feeling uneasy,  Sarah turned back to the path and began to walk more quickly. A dark figure loomed over me. Who was it?

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The rain came down, straight and silvery, like a punishment of steel rods. It clattered onto the house and onto the rocks and pitted the sea. The thunder made some sounds like grand pianos falling downstairs, then settled to a softer continuous rumble, which was almost drowned by the sound of the rain. Lina sighed to herself while staring at her humongous pile of homework , “ How am I supposed to finish this pile of homework?” Knock! Knock! A moment later, she heard a knocking sound coming from the back door. Before Lina could even stand up from her chair, the knocking sound became progressively louder. A shiver ran down her spine as her hands turned cold and clammy. Walking towards the door in fear, her heart skipped a beat. she mustered up her courage and opened the door. Her eyes widened in horror. She could not believe her eyes.

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Looking at the array of ingredients laid in front of her, Mia mumbled to herself “I’m definitely going to win!”
She stood with pride, her eyes glistening with confidence.
Mia opened all the ingredients and poured them into a bowl. She whipped out a whisk and mixed all the ingredients together. Just then, she glanced at the recipe book to check for the next step. She gasped. She did not have it. One of the most crucial ingredients was missing. She swung her fridge door open and rummaged around, hoping to find it. What should she do? The school bake-off was a day away and she did not have chocolate chips. Chocolate chip cookies were not chocolate chip cookies without chocolate chips!

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Group members: Aria, Charis, Luo Xin, Vivianna

Throwing down her pen in triumph, Lina grinned, “Yes! I finally finished my homework essay!”
Just then, fat raindrops pattered against the glass windows, showering the room with a chilly aura. As Lina lowered herself onto the living room sofa, a shock ran down her spine.
Thump! The sound reverberated throughout the hallways, causing Lina’s. eyes to widen. What…was that?
The strange sound had risen from the back door. At that moment, realisation hit Lina. “I am all alone at home. To add to that, even if a visitor was here, they would surely use the front door.”
The wind outside the house howled like a wolf and all it did was make her breath quicken.
To add to Lina’s fear, the unmistakable creak of a door opening reached her ears. The freezing cold blew into the living room. Lina froze. She suppressed a shriek as she rushed behind to couch, sighting a black figure peeking from behind the door.
“In all those horror movies, this is exactly how the story starts. That person, that horrible creature would do unimaginable things to me. What do I do?” Lina thought, as perspiration beaded on her forehead.
Without warning, the door flew wide open, causing Lina to shudder and the black figure to step foot into the hallway, It boomed, “Lina?”

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“I can’t wait to get home!” I thought out loud on my way home. Suddenly, a gust of wind from behind sent a cold shiver down my spine. I frowned and took a quick glance. Nobody. Strange. Fast and furious raindrops quickly followed suit. I groaned inwardly. I did not have an umbrella. Soon, it was raining cats and dogs, and my clothing stuck to me like a second skin. “Tap, tap, tap…” .The sound of footsteps reverberated in the air. The tension in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Without warning, a tall shadow towered over me. My heart pounded in my chest so hard I half expected it to pop out. I turned my head bit by bit until I faced him. “Hello, Sarah. It’s
been a long time. I missed you. We meet again,” he smirked. I gaped in horror as I realised who he was. It. Was. Him.

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“Why is my locker open? I swear I closed it yesterday…” Emily thought, puzzled. As she recalled all the horror stories her friends told her the day before.A cold shiver ran down her spine, but it was not from the chilly  morning air. “The victim’s locker were always open even though they didn’t open it.” Her heart palpitated wildly in her chest. She opened her locker door cautiously. It made a loud screeching noise as it opened, making her jump with fear. “In the victim’s locker there was a…” her friend’s words repeated in her mind.
A small, yellow crushed-up note fell out of her locker onto the floor. As she bent down to pick it up, she felt a cold gust of wind ruffle her hair. With trembling hands, she slowly smoothed out the note. The words were barely readable. Her face went pale as she read the note. The note said…

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Sniffing the cookies, Mia scowled. The scent was nice, but something was off. She had checked the recipe, her grandmother's famous recipe, multiple times, but could not tell what was wrong. Was something missing? She took a bite of one of the cookies. Coffee, caramel, sugar and... something else - what was it? - burst across her tongue. In spite of the high caffeine content, the cookie made her feel drowsy. Water, flour, sugar, baking powder, coffee beans, caramel... had she added something else? As confusion clouded her mind, she could make out a gangly and tall figure enter the kitchen. "Just to ask, if anything bad happens to you, you would not be participating in the baking competition, would you?" Katie, coming back from the toilet, asked casually. "Yeah..."started Mia, then, she stopped. Suspicion formed in the mists of her mind, and she began to suspect Katie's face of concealing dark designs. "Why ask?" Mia continued, eyebrows raised. "Oh, just...you know...wondering," Katie remarked airily, waving her hand in the tense air. Mia's head spun, and she could not think clearly. Was there too much coffee? She sprinkled more sugar to enhance the flavour, before taking a bite to test the new combination. Her eyelids started drooping immediately. Mia rested her head on the table. Something was still very amiss. She reached for the sugar that Katie lent her, certain that the sugar was not what she expected. Yet she still could not place it. Black spots appeared in her vision. It was almost nighttime, and Mia still had to make another batch of cookies. Katie was walking briskly towards the door. "I need to make another batch of cookies! Tonight would be a long night..." mumbled Mia, slowly slipping out of her senses. The door creaked. Katie paused, but did not turn around. "A very, very long night indeed," she whispered.