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. What They Had is a whole film dedicated to the debate around institutionalization, and while it pretends to be about a family making a choice that is best for their mother, at the end of the day it is still a propaganda piece. Like many movies that are in favor of institutionalization, this movie uses the helpless victim trope of ageism. The trope is “They are endlessly needy old ladies characterized as unhealthy, feeble, and at times, comically senile” (Sprankles). While sure, there is a time and a place for institutions like nursing homes, this film perpetuates it as the only moral choice for the family. It continues this stereotype of a one dimensional dementia that is dangerous to the person suffering from it. Using this trope the film portrays the idea of institutionalization as a relief to the family. Almost like it’s a burden lifted off of their shoulders. While yes, the whole plot is the family arguing about whether an institution is needed, it really is just the father, Norbert, that is advocating against it, and demonstrating this idea that “old people don’t know what’s best and are selfish about living independently” and the movie then goes on to reinforce this point when after Ruth is put into a nursing home Norbert dies of a heart attack, a final message on why old people can’t take care of themselves. This is painting the picture that old people don’t know what’s best a putting them in a home is the best option for everyone. There isn’t much consulting with a doctor, there’s no asking how Ruth feels and the film makes the father out to be incompetent because Ruth keeps wandering off. It is incredibly possible for adults with dementia to live at home, while yes with help, and have a happy life. The film, however, decides to portray that the only solution and happy ending is a home so the family isn’t burdened.

3. What They Had is much, more likely to increase anxieties, especially among families where the parents are on their own and their adult children have moved away. Films like this absolutely increase anxieties, while it is more likely that younger people will be more influenced, it cannot be denied that adults with aging parents that are not as educated on dementia will be terrified of their parents potentially being a danger to themselves, and its media like this that will stoke these fears “Just as exposure to older adults as a child can generate positive perceptions of aging as young people grow up, media is an essential influencer” (Holden). These portrayals are not positive because they do not teach comprehensive ways that families can assist their older relatives but rather put enough fear into them to put their parents or grandparents into a nursing home. These films are not exactly a cause of these fears, but they are absolutely a byproduct of our current culture. We are afraid of aging, afraid of the negative side effects that come with it and there is whole market that uses that fear to make their wealth “As an age-related impairment intertwined with cultural fears of dependence, debility, loss of self, and death, dementia illuminates the ways in which ageing and disability are deeply entangled in American culture and society” (Yoshizaki-Gibbons 2018). Our culture is fiercely independent and anything that threatens our independence is scary, for both the young and older generation. Elderly citizens don’t want to give up their independence, and the younger generations don’t want to the same in order to take care of the olde generation. This is mostly because they are ill-equipped with the knowledge of how to take care of the older generation with cognitive issues of dementia. These portrayals only make that fear greater and lead people to make decisions that may not be in the best interest of either party.

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Prompt #2 — During Week 5, we discussed the Kill or Cure Impulse, and how institutionalization is part of this phenomenon since it is viewed as a social death. How does What They Had lead the viewer to understand institutionalization as a “happy ending”?

There are multiple different ways that What They Had leads the viewer into seeing institutionalization as a “happy ending,” and one of the most prevalent aspects of the film that leads to that conclusion is how the film portrays caregiving, especially in Ruth’s husband. Dr. YG notes this aspect of the film in her article titled “Ageism and Ableism on the Silvering Screen: Entanglements of Disability and Ageing in Films Centered on Dementia,” writing that “determining where Ruth should be cared for is a central premise of the plot and the family agonizes for much of the movie over the best place for Ruth…Consequently, What They Had is a film about caregiving as much as it is about ageing and disability” (YG 2). When it comes to the caregiving aspect of the film, it is often asserted that Bert, Ruth’s husband, is the #1 best option for Ruth. He’s the one who knows her best, the one she’s most comfortable with, and he is portrayed as a “‘successful’ ager” due to his “physically fit, healthy, and independent” lifestyle “apart from heart issues” (YG 3). Ruth is portrayed as the polar opposite due to her dementia, which leads to the conclusion that this juxtaposition between the two is what positions Bert as Ruth’s sole caregiver. With all this in mind, the point that I’m trying to make is that Bert’s death is essentially the film’s reasoning for why Ruth should be institutionalized. Bert is seen as the end-all-be-all in terms of Ruth’s life in the “normal” world, and he even exclaims in the film, “‘I am the best memory care in Chicago!’” (YG 3), so when he dies of a heart attack, institutionalization is the logical next best thing in the film’s eyes. Their children are already portrayed as having too many personal problems of their own, so they aren’t really seen as good candidates for Ruth’s support system. And then, by the end of the film, as if they couldn’t make it anymore obvious, as Bitty is exiting the institution, she is stopped by a turkey in the middle of the road. For some context, “turkey” is what Ruth would always refer to Bert as. This symbol of the turkey at the end of the film, as ham-fisted and ridiculously obvious as it is, basically reaffirms this idea that Bitty made the right decision, that even Bert might feel like it was a good decision too, up there in heaven or whatever (*eye roll*).

Prompt #4 — What ableist or ageist tropes did you observe in What They Had and/or Away from Her? Did the film subvert or counter any of these tropes?

One of the major tropes used in What They Had is most certainly the “Helpless Victim” trope, which is defined as this by Julie Sprankles in “7 Gendered Ageist Tropes to Stop Perpetuating”: “All too often, older women are depicted as a vulnerable subset of society in need of protection and routine assistance from others. They are endlessly needy old ladies characterized as unhealthy, feeble, and at times, comically senile…Naturally, this perpetuates the stereotype that older women are sweet, yet incompetent people who deserve our pity.” Ruth’s character embodies majority of these things, especially the final couple of points. The film often tries to make a light joke out of some of Ruth’s behaviors, like when she tried to drink the holy water out of the basin in church, or when she randomly puts up her middle finger in the pews and sticks it to God. When watching the film, I had very conflicted feelings on these scenes, because, yes, in some ways they are amusing, but they also put Ruth in this much more innocent yet also incompetent light, like she can’t be trusted on her own or she’ll start acting up. In some ways, the film seems to be trying to make me feel pity for the things she’s doing, like the scene where she goes to pick up the phone but comes back with a stapler instead, and the whole family finds a way to keep the atmosphere light without acknowledging her dementia. Ruth is also infantilized in this way on numerous occasions, like the scene where Bert and Bitty are having a pretty serious confrontation about her heading back home, and when Ruth tries to butt in and ask what’s going on, they shoo her off like a child and tell her to go back to watching Popeye. Overall, the film does everything in its power to portray Ruth as incapable, helpless, and even childlike. The film constantly reaffirms that she cannot take care of herself.

Another trope I wanted to mention was “The Age Gap” in Away from Her, which is acknowledged in Mary Ellen Holden’s “SPOTLIGHT: Being Seen Onscreen is Life Changing for Older Adults.” According to Holden, the Age Gap occurs “in two different ways,” but I want to hone in on one particular aspect, which is that “there are major gaps between actors’ ages and those of the characters they play.” Out of all the massive problems in Away from Her, this film does subvert this trope and cast actors in the respective ages of the characters. Julie Christie, the actress who plays Fiona, was 64 during the filming of the movie and the character herself is supposed to be in her early 60s. I still don’t like the way she’s shown in the film, though. There’s something about her hair that just looks so fake to me. Why do old people need to have gray/white hair to look old?

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2. In the cure or kill impulse, institutionalization is seen as a social death, yet we are meant to believe that in the movie What They Had, we are meant to assume this is a happy ending. This is assumed because now her family no longer must take care of her and wear themselves down watching for her. Her husband does not have to wear himself thin, and her family suddenly fixed all their problems once they admitted her. She is also seen as completely helpless throughout the movie, even though she has moments where she is aware. They act like it is the end of the world when she calls her husband her boyfriend, when she still knows who she is and who he is, along with what he means to her, but it is framed as the end of the world. This is unfortunately a common trope in movies with older women. In this movie, she is dismissed from big conversations, even regarding her health. She is seen as a woman who cannot make decisions for herself, and nobody bothers telling her where they are sending her. As Sprankles said in her article, “By painting the picture of older women as helpless victims, we’re contributing to a narrative that makes it easier to marginalize the contributions of such women.” (Sprankles) This highlights the fact that they go behind her back during the entire movie, discussing putting her in a home, without asking if she was okay with any of these things. They start the movie with her wandering out into the snow, showing how she needs to be in a home, because it is dangerous for her to be anywhere else. After her husband dies, she is moved to California with her daughter, and it is supposed to be seen as a good thing that she leaves behind the home she had states away.

3. In the movie, What they Had, dementia is seen as a fearful thing, something that is a travesty, forgetting everything you have ever known, not able to finish your life out happy with your family and knowing who they are. If we remember the start of the movie, the camera panning out as she walks into the snow, all alone, in the middle of the night. Comparing that to the end of the movie, with her daughter in bright and sunny California, walking alone once again into the room she is staying in. In both the opening and closing scenes she is alone. Her husband dies, and she is moved states away, swept away from the dangerous streets she was walking on at the beginning of the movie. She is physically and metaphorically swept away from her old life, letting her live in an unknown place all alone unless she is visited. She has essentially lost all autonomy by the end of the movie, was not even consulted by her own family about going to a nursing home. For anyone, that is scary. Not knowing why you are in a strange new place, ending up in a different state, away from your bold home. This film could have been a way to show how yes, dementia is scary for anyone to go through, but there can be beautiful moments, and it is not all one scary, terrible thing. Both of my great grandparents had dementia, and while it was sad, and often scary, it was nice to get time with them at all. It dances people to admire any time at all, and to remember not everything last forever, so embrace the time with your loved ones. As Holden said in her article, “respectful and authentic representation of older adults onscreen can help address harmful stereotypes in real life.” Getting older is seen as a thing to avoid, popularized by Botox and plastic surgery, when instead it should be embraced that you lived a long, loving life. In the specific cause of dementia, we can refer to the article written by Mark Schweda, “While dementia and dementia care are highly ambivalent and complex experiences, we saw that prominent media representations have a tendency to promote misleading and negative public understandings and attitudes.” (Schweda, page 6) Showing that while not all experiences are the same, they can at least tell a somewhat accurate story without fear mongering the entire process of getting old.

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2. During Week Five, we discussed the Kill or Cure Impulse, and how institutionalization is part of this phenomenon since it is viewed as a social death. How does What They Had lead the viewer to understand institutionalization as a "happy ending"?

In the end of What They Had, it leads viewers into thinking that institutionalization is a “happy ending” by using it as the only solution. While solutions for care for anybody is a hard thing to discuss and even harder to find, we tend to go directly towards institutionalizations. As society, we have been drilled into our brains that this is our only solution and it is the best solution. From a medical standpoint, they also push for getting placed in an institution instead of coming up with other solutions or giving other solutions. Sometimes medical professionals suggest getting an at-home caretaker. This does not remove the loved one from the home and ensures that proper care is being met during times that other family members cannot take care of them. I still do not know why til this day that medical professionals still push for just institutionalizations despite all of the push-backs and fear from families. Whether it is at-home or institutions, the risk of not having proper care is always high. Abuse and neglect are seen at both and happen quite often. Despite the request from a family member to not put her in an institution, she was placed by other family members. This is now seen as Ruth’s peace, she is now safe. Despite the reality of abuse and mistreatment that goes on in the majority of these facilities, this is now leaving the audiences with a view that this is the best solution. From Dr. Yoshizaki-GIbbon’s Ableism and Ageism in the SIlverscreen, it is best explained as “instead, it is more often portrayed as difficult, emotionally and physically taxing, and costly (2023, p. 4). Not only is the audience left with an idea that institutions are the best because of cost, but because of how taxing the care. While yes it can get exhausting, it is not as terrible as the films portray it. Like every other job, there is going to be ups and downs. But no other job is portrayed as this taxing in movies and seen as such a burden.

3. Dementia is considered "one of the most feared modern conditions" (Marist Institute for Public Opinion, 2014). After viewing What They Had and Away from Her, is this film more likely to decrease or increase anxieties and worries about dementia for viewers? Justify your answer.

I do believe that it depends on the person and how they view both the movie, and dementia. While the movies portray how important families can be and how there can be peace in a condition that does take away a lot, there are still a lot of “scary” things that these movies show as well. I think the scariest thing that these movies show is how you forget. Forgetting your loved ones, where you are, and your safety is scary. I feel like no matter how you try to portray these aspects of dementia, it depends on how the viewers take it in. If you are a person who is already on the side of “most feared”, I feel like this will only intensify these fears. In Schewda’s Medical Gazes and Meteorological Metaphors, it talks about how film uses medical imagery to install this type of fear in films. How even just seeing medical professionals on screen, despite not being real, can influence a person’s perception about how dementia is portrayed (2019). There is going to be anxiety with everything medical in life, especially as you age. However, these movies are only increasing these anxieties and affecting more than just the person themselves. By showing the reality of the condition, these anxieties can decrease or even just give people a sense of security when dealing with the harshest of medical complications. (What is meant by medical complications I mean such things as costs, setting up appointments, finding the right provider, and all of the unnecessary things that bring stressors outside of the condition itself.

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Dementia in What They Had functions as a metaphor for broader social fears surrounding aging, identity, and memory. Yoshizaki-Gibbons argues that dementia is often portrayed as representing “loss of self, burden, tragedy, and death,” capturing deep “social anxiety about identity, self, and meaning” (Yoshizaki-Gibbons, 2023). Ruth’s decline in the film symbolizes a “living death,” reducing her to a “shell of [her] former self” and highlighting how dementia is used to signify disappearance and erasure rather than transformation (Yoshizaki-Gibbons, 2023). Similarly, Schweda notes that films use visual metaphors such as “journeys into darkness” or “loss of self” to illustrate cognitive decline and the fear of losing control over one’s mind (Schweda, 2019). This metaphorical framing also drives the narrative. Ruth’s condition becomes a “narrative prosthesis,” a device that pushes the plot forward by serving as a source of conflict and growth for the other characters (Yoshizaki-Gibbons, 2023). The Marist Institute for Public Opinion describes dementia as “one of the most feared modern conditions,” a perception that these narratives reinforce (Marist Institute, 2014). The media further highlights these metaphors by depicting older adults as fading from view, emphasizing invisibility and loss rather than resilience (Holdon, n.d). Together, these portrayals transform dementia from a medical diagnosis into a symbolic representation of society’s deepest fears about aging, dependency, and mortality.

What They Had relies on multiple ageist and ableist tropes that align with those identified in media studies and cultural criticism. One of the most prominent is the “helpless dependent” trope, Ruth is routinely spoken about as if she cannot make decisions for herself, with her family discussing where to “place” or “put” her (Yoshizaki-Gibbons, 2023). This framing mirrors a larger social belief that older adults are incapable of autonomy and must be managed by others. The film also leans on the “burden” narrative depicting Ruth as a social, emotional, and economic weight on her family (Yoshizaki-Gibbons, 2023). Chivers notes that such portrayals are common in cinema, where aging bodies are frequently framed as obstacles or sources of anxiety for younger characters (Chivers, 2011). Gendered stereotypes further reinforce these narratives. Ruth is presented as confused, frail, and occasionally comic relief — echoing the trope of the “bumbling old woman” and reinforcing ideas of older women as pitiable or irrelevant (Sprankles, 2016). Her eventual institutionalization is presented as a “happy ending,” suggesting that older people with dementia ultimately “belong” in care facilities (Yoshizaki-Gibbons, 2023). Authentic representation “can help address harmful stereotypes” by showing older adults as “fully realized characters” rather than burdens or caricatures (Holdon, n.d.). However, What They Had largely reinforces these reductive tropes, normalizing ageist and ableist narratives that equate aging with decline and social irrelevance.

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3. The films What They Had and Away from Her were both about a woman with Alzheimer's and the struggles of what this disease causes. I cannot lie. These movies were hard for me to watch. Both of my grandmas have been diagnosed with dementia, and it is more and more prevalent every time I see them. It is hard seeing them, and they do not know your name; they just know that I am their grandchild. But these movies both increase my anxiety about the whole situation. I have heard stories from my parents that my grandma would ask where her husband is while he is sitting right next to her, or unfortunately in May my grandma got up to use the bathroom but did not know where it was. She walked by the bathroom in her bedroom and the bathroom right outside of her bedroom and walked all the way to the basement and fell down the stairs. Watching the start of What They Had, when she wandered off in the middle of the night, that is all I could picture.  My grandma broke just about every bone in her face when she fell down the stairs, and I could only imagine what it was like to be there in person. It makes me feel terrible for my grandpa. Especially when the mother was found in What They Had, she was in the hospital, and the doctor said that they needed to do a pelvic exam to make sure someone did not rape her. They made her feel so helpless, and she could not take care of herself. Just like the article 7 Gendered Ageist Tropes To Stop Perpetuating, one of the tropes they talked about was how women are “all too often depicted as a vulnerable subset of society in need of protection and routine assistance from others.” Both movies depicted this quote and how they needed supervision because they were helpless. Which increased my anxiety with my grandmas.

According to the article by Hailee M. Yoshizaki-Gibbons, “Currently, there are approximately 5.8 million people with dementia in the U.S., but by 2025, this number is expected to grow by 22% to 7.1 million people.” Based on these numbers, dementia is a growing problem in the United States, and there is a need for more in-home or community care for people with dementia who need to be taken care of. In the movie What They Had, it was all about putting the mom into an institution to help watch over her. The dad was against it for the longest time until he had a health episode and decided to sign the papers. The dad was portrayed as a cranky old man holding onto the good old days, just like how the article SPOTLIGHT: Being Seen Onscreen Is Life-Changing for Older Adults said cranky old men would act. The article stated, “The Cranky Old Person trope embodies the ‘get off my lawn’ stereotype. They complain about social change and people and talk about the good old days.” The dad was holding on, and we were made to believe that her condition was so bad that he was not able to take care of her anymore. So when he finally signed the papers, we were supposed to be happy. Just like how a director uses the kill-or-cure impulse. The movie ended with the mom finally being put into an institution that would better suit her and showed how happy she was and how nice everyone was, just to pull on the heartstrings of the viewers.

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2. What They Had leads the viewer to understand that Ruth being institutionalized as a “happy ending” because it solved all the family problems since no one was able to take care of her after Bert passed. The film also paints the nursing home as this very colorful and maintained garden, and around other older adults with dementia that are clean and well-groomed (Yoshizaki-Gibbons, 2023, p. 8) which can lead the viewers to assume Ruth is in a place where she belongs and is going to be well taken care of and will be monitored 24/7. In the film we see the family struggling to keep a positive mindset throughout the movie while taking care of Ruth and we get a scene where Bitty is watching Ruth walk with the nurse back to her room and it gives off the like sigh of relief that Ruth is better off here in an institution rather than with her family. I wish there wasn’t such a negative view on dementia throughout the whole movie from Bitty and Nicky, it would’ve been nice to see them agree with Bert about keeping Ruth at home instead of shipping her off to some nursing home to “deal with her”.

3. After viewing What They Had, I feel like this film is more likely to increase anxieties and worries about dementias for the viewers just because there was such a negative mindset from Nicky throughout the entire movie with him trying to persuade Bert to put Ruth in a nursing home. There has always been a fear of aging in general, but movies typically reinforce those fears (Holden, n.d, para. 15), so seeing these behaviors in films that create a negative reaction from their family members can cause a fear of being a burden. We also see the trope of the helpless victim (Sprankles, 2016, para. 3) in the film with Ruth not being able to wash her hair, and put clothes on by herself, which may increase the fear of not being independent. Another big scene that could create an increase in anxieties about dementia is when Ruth was talking about Bert dying at the perfect time because if it were any later, she would not have remembered the love of her life at all. Now with how Bert was fighting for Ruth to stay at home with him can potentially decrease some anxieties about dementia especially if they have someone in their life that wouldn’t ship them off to an institution like Nicky was trying to do all movie.

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1

Disability is often used as a metaphor in film for many different burdens or bad omens. As for in the film What They Had, it is used as the deeper darker burden in the lives of Bitty and her immediate family.  Ruth is an older woman who is married to Norbert Everhardt who have two kids Bitty and Nicholas. Bitty had moved away from her parents in Illinois and moved to California after she married her husband Eddie and had their daughter Emma. As for Nicholas he is an unmarried man in a relationship he is unsure of and a newly bought into bar that he is co-owner of. The start to the film shows Ruth wandering off into a snowstorm in the middle of the night on her own. After this incident, Nicholas calls Bitty who flies herself and Emma into Illinois to help out in whatever way they can. This is the first instance of Ruth’s dementia being a burden on the family as it brings Bitty from across the country, and she has to drop all that is going on during the Christmas holiday. As for Nicholas, he gives the impression that he only stayed in Illinois because of his mother. Since Bitty had left he felt obligated to stick around instead of perhaps giving himself the chance to leave Illinois and possibly pursue bigger things for himself. As the film goes on, the family gradually collides in emotion and confusion about what should be done all as Norbert is under immense stress which has led to heart attacks in the past over trying to live a normal life with Ruth and her dementia. Ruth’s dementia is the “burden” that the family has to deal with almost like a curse being thrown on the family and in the end after a scare of Ruth possibly having run out again, Norbert eventually succumbs to his heart condition and passes. In the end of the film after Norbert’s passing, Ruth is put into memory care and the film seems to give off the idea that the pressure is off of the family’s shoulders as she is in someone else’s professional care and they no longer have to take care of her dementia themselves. Thus, saying that the burden has been lifted or that the curse has been broken.

4

In the two films watched this week there are two main tropes on both sides of ableist and ageist that stick out the most. For ableist it is the institutionalized or asylum trope where the character with disability is thrown into care or an asylum to no longer be an issue for the character’s family like previously discussed above. The ageist trope refers to the Helpless Victim trope where often, older women are seen as helpless, a chore or someone to pity. Both of these are seen directly in both films with Ruth Everhardt “What They Had” and Fiona in “Away from Her”. Ruth is looked at as a child essentially who can not take care of herself and at times in the film is even mocked more specifically when she forgets who Nicholas is and hits on him. When Nicholas says this to Bitty, she laughs instead of being shocked or worried and even goes as far as to make jokes back to Nicholas about it. As for the asylum trope, eventually at the end of the film, Ruth is institutionalized and the issue for Bitty, her family and Nicholas is resolved in their minds. For “Away from Her”, the second Fiona start having symptoms, Grant is quick to think of Fiona as fragile and of needing protected essentially. With Fiona’s symptoms only just occurring, Grant still does not give Fiona the benefit of the doubt that things could be okay or be better eventually. As well as in “What They Had”, Fiona ends up being institutionalized as well, and the idea is that all though Grant is upset and distraught, she is better off in the institution than in his care and loving affection.

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Prompt #1: What ableist or ageist tropes did you observe in What They Had and/or Away from Her? Did the film subvert or counter any of these tropes? (You can find examples of ageist tropes in "7 Gendered Ageist Tropes To Stop Perpetuating" and "Being Seen Onscreen is Lifechanging for Older Adults.")

In the movie Away from Her there were several ageist tropes that applied Fiona but, there were others that definitely did not apply to her. At times in the film, she was portrayed as a helpless victim. For example, in the beginning of the movie Fiona is shown as being forgetful and not remembering like when she does not recognize her husband Grant or remember when they bought their cabin. This forgetfulness portrays her as a helpless victim. The sexless spinster trope absolutely did not apply to Fiona. When she was in the nursing home she started having an affair with Aubrey.  The scenes where they were together and showing affection for each other contradicted this trope.  You could feel the intimacy between the two.

In the film Away from Her Fiona embraces the fact that she knows she is losing her memory. She is the one that recommends that she should move into Meadowlake nursing facility. This is a good example of her doing the she can to embrace the changes coming which is one of the three wishes for content creators that Mary Ellen Holden references in her article Spotlight: Being Seen Onscreen is Life Changing for Older Adults (P. 4). The movie did a good job avoiding several common tropes pertaining to older adults like the Sage, the Old maid, the dirty old man/women and the age gap.

Prompt #2: Dementia is considered “one of the most feared modern conditions” (Marist Institute for Public Opinion, 2014). After viewing What They Had and Away from Her, is this film more likely to decrease or increase anxieties and worries about dementia for viewers? Justify your answer.

After watching Away from Her, the viewers anxieties and worries are probably increased because they do not know if they will get dementia because of the genetics in their families and if they will ever have to deal with a family member suffering from dementia.   Dementia is very concerning because people who have it can start to forget who their loved ones are and who they are themselves, as was evidenced in both Away from Her and What They Had. In Away from Her Fiona wants Grant to leave right after he initially drops her off at the Meadowlake nursing facility because she knows how difficult this will be for both of them.  In both movies, it is very upsetting to see the couples dealing with the challenges and grief that dementia brings.  The stories portrayed in both films make people not only worry that they will get dementia but also create anxiety that their loved ones may, too.  When Ruth left the house in the middle of the night in What They Had, the fear her husband and kids felt was very real.  The impacts of caring for someone with dementia can create stress on family relationships.  This was the case when Bert and Ruth’s kids were arguing over Ruth moving to a nursing home and Bert to an assisted living facility.  Families want to make sure their loved ones are safe, but it is scary to place them in the care of others.  This was the case in both films.  Both husbands had a lot of guilt for not being able to care for their wives on their own.

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Dementia is considered "one of the most feared modern conditions" (Marist Institute for Public Opinion, 2014). After viewing What They Had and Away from Her, is this film more likely to decrease or increase anxieties and worries about dementia for viewers? Justify your answer.

From a younger generation perspective, we spend our whole lives trying to figure out who we are, and then at some point, we might have our identity taken away by our own mind. In both films, "Away from Her" and "What They Had," the women are diagnosed at the beginning of the movies, leaving their husbands to search for their missing wives, who have ventured off into the snow. As an audience, we are invited to witness and empathize with their struggles. Informed by critics, these two movies were presented as realistic portrayals of how dementia works and the struggles behind the scenes. How our younger generations take an idea of "dementia almost seems to become a metaphor for our late-modern times in general, the "signature disease" of the twenty-first century, in which the aging societies of our day and age seem to recognize characteristic features of their own psychosocial and sociocultural state and development" (Schweda). Within this film, I feel it increases the worries and anxiety of dementia, not only for your own self-worry, but also as a caregiver. Being by someone's side every day and at any time, knowing they might forget you one day or even within hours, is a terrifying feeling for both parties involved. Or even the thought that they could fall in love with someone else, remembering their love but not your own, having to be selfless every day, knowing you cannot do anything but give your best. Throughout the movie, I related more to Nicky's frustration about his mother's safety, as the constant phone calls at night worried him that something had happened. Having to make your kids make tough decisions for their parents and try to explain their reasoning, which is supposed to benefit them, does not always relate correctly. The scene where Ruth goes to answer the phone, then repeats "It's a staple.' 'Stapler, Emma gently corrects. Ruth looks at the staple in her hand and then bends over, laughing hysterically, exclaiming, 'What the hell am I doing with this?' (Yoshizaki-Gibbons). As a member of the audience, I found it uncompelling that I am not saying we all don't have days where we are out of it, but Nicky having to watch his mother get worse every day, and Bitty and Emma laughing, was insensitive to me. The films evoke a range of emotions, from frustration to heartbreak, and leave the audience with a lingering sense of sadness. Or even at the funeral when Ruth couldn't remember who passed, then later expresses to Bitty it was the perfect time for her husband to go because she remembered him just enough. Implementing that statement or line into a movie was awful and heartbreaking, leaving the audience with a sense of sadness. This disease can make you forget who you are, who you love, and where your life happened. Creating more fear in our generation about getting older, all we wish for is to be grown-ups. However, with all the sadness in the world, we should savor our parents and not want to get away from them so fast.

During Week Five, we discussed the Kill or Cure Impulse and how institutionalization is part of this phenomenon since it is viewed as a social death. How does What They Had lead the viewer to understand institutionalization as a "happy ending"?

Younger generations, when they face social death, will experience a cultural shock of disconnectedness rather than sickness. Throughout the film What They Had, there is a constant battle between the father and son over whether Ruth should be placed in homes with professional care, and I see both sides of the argument. Having lived it, I have experienced Nicky's hardships; you want to be there as a family member, but there is only so much a person can do. "Care, particularly care for old disabled people, is rarely depicted as rewarding, fulfilling, or meaningful in silver screen films. Instead, it is more often portrayed as difficult, emotionally and physically taxing, and costly" (Schweda). It is a burden to stay, but also a burden to send them out on their own, as shown in multiple films. The costs of care, you're willing to do anything or pay anything for the love of your parents or wife, but it's unrealistic. When they are finally placed in a home after all the arguing, it is a happy ending meant to leave us with a warm feeling. "The film ends on a hopeful note, with Bitty moving on from her failed marriage and Nicky finally getting his

life together. Bitty and Nicky can grow and progress as characters because, unlike their father Bert, they are unburdened from caring for Ruth, who is now 'thriving' in dementia care in a nursing home" (Yoshizaki-Gibbons). Ruth lived with Bert for years and could not remember who he was when she looked at him face to face, but she could look at a locket and remember that he was her boyfriend. That did not seem like a happy remembrance to me. Ending in the home, where Ruth was not even sure who lived there? It was not a happy ending because Ruth had not gotten any better; she had her daughter, who was thought to be a stranger. It is sad to see your own mother forget you without her having any control. Putting her in a home did not make her better; it provided a safer option, but not a fulfilling life.

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1.     In Away from Her, dementia is used as a metaphor for love, memory, and the inevitable distance that comes along with aging. In the film Fiona’s gradual memory loss mirrors the emotional crumble of her marriage to Grant. This symbolizes how the time and regret can fade intimacy even without an illness. This media uses her dementia to externalize themes of self forgiveness and loss. We see this through Grant’s struggle to accept Fiona’s fading memory, and it becomes a reflection of his guilt and longing. Yoshizaki-Gibbons explains that the family or other able-bodied characters are centered to show the struggle/growth/ or feelings they have about the situation rather than the person they claim the media is about. This aligns with the broader media trends that use disability as a metaphor for humans to be vulnerable or as a symbol of moral awakening. This is often centered around the able-bodied audience or character that transforms rather than the disabled persons lived experience. However, Away from Her complicates this message through moments of autonomy for Fiona like her decision to enter care and form new relationships for herself. These media choices go against the portraying of dementia solely being of decline which suggests that there is a quieter form of independence. Holden (2021) notes, the meaningful onscreen representation of aging allows the audience to see the continued humanity and vitality of older adults. This is a quality that this film partially achieves despite having such a melancholic tone. Overall, dementia in this representation serves as both a metaphor for loss and a reminder of enduring love within impermanence.

4.     The film Away from Her employs and challenges ageist and ableist tropes about older adults and disability. Julie Sprankles (2016) explains that media often portrays older women as a tragic elder or being invisible, defined by loss, lack of sexuality, or decline. Fiona initially proves to be embodying some of these stereotypes as she seems to be vulnerable and fading. However, Sarah Polley’s direction makes us second guess this picture. Fiona is portrayed as self aware, smart, capable of desire, affection, and defies the idea that aging gets rid of your identity or sexuality. Yet, the film stills centers Grant’s suffering which supports the trope that disability exits to teach others moral lessons. Mary Ellen Holden’s “SPOTLIGHT: Being Senn Onscreen is Life Changing for Older Adults” agues that authentic representations can empower viewers by showing aging as a stage of growth that is continued. Away from Her partially achieves this by presenting aging as tender and real but it still privileges the able-bodied perspective. In conclusion, the film has strengths in showing that aging and illness do not erase a person's emotion complexity but rather reveals it.

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1. This semester we have learned about how disability is often employed as a metaphor in films. How is dementia used as a metaphor in What They Had or other films about dementia?

2. During Week Five, we discussed the Kill or Cure Impulse, and how institutionalization is part of this phenomenon since it is viewed as a social death. How does What They Had lead the viewer to understand institutionalization as a "happy ending"?

3. Dementia is considered "one of the most feared modern conditions" (Marist Institute for Public Opinion, 2014). After viewing What They Had, is this film more likely to decrease or increase anxieties and worries about dementia for viewers? Justify your answer.

4. What ableist or ageist tropes did you observe in What They Had? Did the film subvert or counter any of these tropes? (You can find examples of ageist tropes in "7 Gendered Ageist Tropes To Stop Perpetuating" and "Being Seen Onscreen is Life-changing for Older Adults.")