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“I was thinking about the fact that we had run so far away from the war, only to be caught back in it. There is nowhere to go from here.” (pg. 207)

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“I was thinking about the fact that we had run so far away from the war, only to be caught back in it. There is nowhere to go from here.” (pg. 207)

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Beah, still only sixteen years old, was reflecting on his past life and wondering when the war will take away the rest of his childhood. He is scared and confused as to why they spent so long running and hiding in order to escape the war, only to have it find them again where they think they're safe. Earlier, he had noted that some of the kids who had undergone rehabilitation with him are back no the front lines of the war, and that if they had find him, his only choices would be to join the war or get killed. He is also aware of the fact that there seemed to be nothing to do but sit and wait for the war to reach him, and when it does, he will go back to the old life of violence, drugs and misery. It also seems as though he has given up and accepted defeat, from later in the book we learn this is not true, but at this point he is accepting his future and declaring that there is nothing he can do about it, something he rarely did up until now, when he was running from the rebels or part of the army. The war seems to have changed Ishmael, from a strong, courageous kid to a defeated, lonely boy, at the age of only sixteen.

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"...throughout the flight back home I still felt as if I was dreaming, a dream that I didn't want to wake up from. I was sad to leave, but I was also pleased to have met people outside Sierra Leone. Because if I was to get killed upon my return, I knew that a memory of my existence was alive somewhere in the world." (pg. 200) 

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"...throughout the flight back home I still felt as if I was dreaming, a dream that I didn't want to wake up from. I was sad to leave, but I was also pleased to have met people outside Sierra Leone. Because if I was to get killed upon my return, I knew that a memory of my existence was alive somewhere in the world." (pg. 200) 

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Beah is reflecting on his experience in New York and is wishing he didn't have to leave. He enjoyed it so much he is sad that he must leave his new friends and a safer, more stable place to live. In contrast to the good feelings he has towards New York, he soon expresses that he is glad to have me people outside his home country so people would remember him when/if he dies. This is the harsh reality for Ishmael because he believes that no one cares about him enough to remember him and there is already too much pain and suffering in Sierra Leone for anyone to think about him. It is important to note that he comments on the possibility of death because it shows that he is aware and prepared for the uncertain future in his turmoil ridden country. Beah is very smart at only 15 and continues to reveal that he has a strong grasp on what is going on in his world and that there are other, better places outside of Sierra Leone he will always long to go to.

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Poda podas went by, their apprentices apprentices shouting the names of their destinations to attract customers.

Poda podas-(noun)mini bus

Many people like to travel on poda podas for easier and less expensive transportation.

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Two weeks earlier, Leslie had told me that I was to be "repatriated" and reinstated into normal society.

Repatriated-(verb) send someone back to their own country

The United Nations hopes to repatriate all the refugees.

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 "'I guess so,' I said, but I didn't know what to do in my happy state. I was still hesitant to let myself let go, because I still believed in the fragility of happiness." (pg. 173)

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 "'I guess so,' I said, but I didn't know what to do in my happy state. I was still hesitant to let myself let go, because I still believed in the fragility of happiness." (pg. 173)

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In this quote, Beah is explaining that although he was happy to be with his uncle and his family, he is so scarred from the war and his recent past that he doesn't know how to deal with feeling happy. He says was hesitant to let himself go because he has kept his guard up and not let any emotions show for years. At fifteen, he has already developed negative thoughts towards happiness. He is trying to express not only the immediate consequences from being a boy soldier but also the long term, degenerative effects. Not being able to freely express being happy is a result of truly gruesome ad violent things, and Beah chooses this moment, reuniting with his family, to convey the true magnitude of the long term suffering these boys can experience. The ability for a fifteen year old boy to think that happiness is a fleeting, fragile experience is something many other people can't relate to. This thought is important to note, because many people, as kids, did not worry about being too happy, and were not concerned with the ability to lose their happiness quickly because it was fragile.

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"We sat down on the ground, and everyone seemed to wonder into their own thoughts. The daily bird-songs were gone, replaced now by the raising of firing levers as the older soldiers readied themselves." (pg. 115)

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"We sat down on the ground, and everyone seemed to wonder into their own thoughts. The daily bird-songs were gone, replaced now by the raising of firing levers as the older soldiers readied themselves." (pg. 115)

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Ishmael is noticing the changes in his environment and feelings after he and the other new soldiers became aware that they were not training anymore. This realization was terrifying for him and the boys because they know their life will never be the same again. As all of them wandered into their thoughts, it seems implied they are thinking of the certain doom coming their way. The sounds of guns replaced the sounds of birds, and because the boys are so young, this could symbolize them losing their youth or innocence, although one could argue they lost it much earlier in the book. This passage also explains the transition from a young boy fleeing danger, to a seemingly much older soldier, getting ready to go and fight what they were just running from days before. Although it is apparent this is happening, he still refers to the other boys as the "older soldiers" , clearly wanting to grasp onto the last amount of youth he possibly can, trying to convince himself that he is still the same boy he was a year ago.

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In the only common space, a huge television screen sat on top of a dilapidated drum.

Dilapidated-(adj.) in a state of disrepair or ruin as a result of age or neglect

The dilapidated building looked as if it was going to fall any minute.

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He cooked his own food, and when he was too tired to cook, he ate gari with honey.

Gari-(noun) cassava with long tuberous edible roots and soft brittle stems

I ate gari for the first time when after I traveled to West Africa, where it is a very popular food.

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"At night it felt as if we were walking with the moon... It's brightness became dull as nights passed. Some nights the sky wept stars that quickly floated and disappeared into the darkness before our wishes could meet them...now it seemed as if it was the sky that was telling us a story as its stars fell, violently colliding with each other. The moon hid behind the clouds to avoid seeing what was happening." (pg. 80)

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"At night it felt as if we were walking with the moon... It's brightness became dull as nights passed. Some nights the sky wept stars that quickly floated and disappeared into the darkness before our wishes could meet them...now it seemed as if it was the sky that was telling us a story as its stars fell, violently colliding with each other. The moon hid behind the clouds to avoid seeing what was happening." (pg. 80)

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In the section of the book, Ishmael and the boys lives are falling apart and are seemingly getting worse each day. He makes a comparison between his situation with the stars and the moon. The personification of the moon walking with them shows Ishmael is desperately trying to find something consistent in his life, and he sees the moon as something that will always be there with them. He also acknowledges his worsening situation as he says the moon is getting duller each night. He also uses the stars as a way to make sense of the turmoil in his life. Because the stars are vanishing before their wishes get to them, he is implying that everything they are hoping and wishing for "disappears into the darkness" and seems to never come true. The story the sky was telling them of the starts colliding was their own story, of everything falling apart and getting destroyed all around them, and its so terrible even the moon doesn't want to see it. Ishmael is distraught and is trying to rationalize and make sense of his situation by personifying the solar system and alluding the the stars and moon as their own lives, trying to get a grasp on what's happening.

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"I saw myself holding an AK-47 and walking through a coffee farm with a squad that consisted of many boys and few adults...We open fired until the last being in the other group fell to the ground. We walked toward the dead bodies, giving each other high fives."      (pg. 19)

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"I saw myself holding an AK-47 and walking through a coffee farm with a squad that consisted of many boys and few adults...We open fired until the last being in the other group fell to the ground. We walked toward the dead bodies, giving each other high fives."      (pg. 19)

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Using one of Ishmael's flashbacks, the reader is able to grasp the concept that the boys in Sierra Leone had no choice whether they wanted to fight and kill or not. To put one of the most violent scenes in the beginning of the book, Beah grabs the readers attention and shows them how devastating war can be. Not only are the boys made to fight in a war, they are dehumanized, and high five each other when they kill a group of young boys. In contrast to when he is currently living in New York, this flashback highlights the irony that at thirteen, he was cheering when he killed people, but now in his twenties, he's waking up with nightmares of when he would commit such violent acts.

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We then played a game, and each time one of us scored a goal, he would celebrate with a soukous dance.

Soukous-(noun) a style of African popular music characterized by syncopated rhythms and intricate contrasting guitar melodies

The soukous became a very popular dace after originating in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

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Jumah, Moriba, and Musa were asleep on the verandah we occupied.

Verandah-(noun) a roofed platform along the outside of a house, level with the ground floor

They were looking for a verandah to hide their belongings.

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"Every time people come at us with the intention of killing us, I close my eyes and wait for death. Even though I am still alive, I feel like each time I accept death, part of me dies." (pg. 71)

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"Every time people come at us with the intention of killing us, I close my eyes and wait for death. Even though I am still alive, I feel like each time I accept death, part of me dies." (pg. 71)

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This quote from my book is said from an eleven or twelve year old boy. This is significant because many kids don't understand the concept of death, and don't need to think about it much so young. As the boys in this book are thrown into war, never mind real life, they begin to think deeper about life and what it means to be alive or dead. Saidu says this with the intention of letting everyone know that slowly, even though he is physically very much alive, his spirit and happiness is eventually going to die, and there will be nothing worth living for anymore.

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I chose this book because I am very interested in non-fiction books about other places and what life and culture is like far away from here. Also, hearing about the struggles and hardships of other people in other countries reminds me how lucky I am and that it is important to support and donate to groups who help people are struggling and not as fortunate as we are. My mom also read the book and told me it was very powerful and had a huge impact on her, which also persuaded me to read it.

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Week #1- 76 pages
2 posts
Week #2- 76 pages
2 posts
Week #3- 76 pages
3 posts