# data[].attributes.body
Outside, the rain-drenched asphalt was an incandescent blur: hues of white, red, and yellow refracting the light from the nearby street lamps and the golden arches overhead. I was on my way home when I stared at the rain droplets falling onto the hood of the windshield as the windshield wipers swayed in a mesmerizing motion. I gazed towards my left and saw a bright neon yellow sign that read "Adam & Steve's" I sighed as I stared at the restaurant, drifting into one of my most disappointing experience.

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A dying dream, a crushed hope, regret and disappointing Memories still remained fresh in my mind, a constant venunder of what could have been...

It was always my dream to home ballerina, ever since I was young .All my life, I was training for that one only for it to go to waste.

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The salty aroma of the Mac and cheese, with tough texture of the macaroni in addition to the over seasoned taste of the cheese lifted my senses, and brought back my memories of having the same dish from somewhere else. I kept recalling on where the dish came from, which altered my thoughts on food, and made me have a frown on my face. As how Gordon Ramsay would say, “Donkey”.

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as I furiously typed on my laptop, my glasses were perched up on my forehead and my eyes bloodshot red from the sleepless nights. I heard little footsteps coming my way and a little angel-like voice spoke with a hint of curiosity, “Mummy, why don’t I have a daddy?” My fingers stopped midway as I froze on the spot. I turned to see my little angel staring at me with her wide eyes, with her clutching her moomoo bear protectively. She had the same blue eyes and distinct features as him, my mind took me back in time seven years ago where it all occured...

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While packing my store room, I saw my pink metallic luggage placed at the corner of the storeroom with dust accumulated on it. I took it out and brushed the dust away using hands to reveal its shiny outer coverage. I remember how the last time I touched it was 3 years ago, as i tuned in to the news channel on the television, feeling disappointed to hear the news...

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The crisp air was filled with the sizzling sounds of barbecued meat and vendors were shouting irresistible offers. I could smell the familiar aromatic scent of roasted lamb skewers a mile away. My feet could not help but walk towards the stall as if I was in a trance. I took out my wallet and seemingly had a feeling that I would go home with a hole in my wallet after spending wildly on the delicious delicacies offered by the stall owners. As I munched on the hot and savoury lamb, my mind wandered away to a distant memory that still upset me to this day...

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Scrolling through the daily feed of the Youtube app, I was reminded of that disappointing day as I came across a video recapping the NBA finals match back in 2019 “Golden State Warriors in 7. ‘’ , this piece of information resounded in my head repeatedly. I remembered heading towards Oracle Arena beingfilled with excitement as I skipped excitedly to bet $1000 on the Golden State Warriors winning the 2018-2019 NBA championship.

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The salty scent of the ocean air flooded my nostrils as a gushing breeze blew past my cheeks at the beach. A familiar memory shot back into my mind like a loaded gun...

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As the sun rose, i felt the sunlight pierce through the curtains, illuminating the dust in my room, hitting my eyes as i woke up.i turned my television on and the news on the vietnam war. The chirping of morning birds and musty smell of my room seemed to still.  My mind flashed back to when Bob was still with me...

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As the curtain falls after the amazing performance, I could hear the huge round of applause by the audience. People were chanting the pianist  name“Jamus ..Jamus”......until i heard my name, “ Kenny... Kenny...”  This was a moment that I lived for and thoroughly enjoyed the stardom as my mind flashed back to the day whereby i felt that my whole life shattered...

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Finally, after months of monotonous studying and being stuck with my own noisy home of roommates, I finally can take a well-needed break from this hectic life of mine. There I was, viewing the wide joyous smile my reflection made as I grasped my crumpled, one-way vacation ticket to Hawaii with my hands, barely able to refrain from shaking with over-the-top excitement.
Sooner than you would expect it, the sky was shining bright, smiling at me as I stepped my polka dotted crocs on the damp Hawaiian coast. I hastily checked into a cheap nearby resort next to the vast deep blue sea. Immediately after I checked into the mediocrely pleasant inside of the small building, I carelessly dumped all my heavy luggage into my room and dashed out like a mad cow, without a care.

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When I was young, I watched a ballerina performance with my parents. Never had I been more captivated by a performance. It was my first time seeing such a jaw dropping performance. Elegant ribbons danced across the stage, like small, pure flowers, elegantly floating across the stage like lotus blossoms on the surface of spring water lakes. I was completely blown away, my eyes were wide with wonder. There, that was the moment when I finally found my goal in life; to become a ballerina, to be as graceful as those performers on stage. My heart was completely set on that dream. Ever since the day, I trained hard to get accepted into the dance school. It would be my ultimate goal. Ever since that day onwards, i was very driven to practice my moves so that they can be impressive to the judges

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There he stood in his black tuxedo suit holding his car door open for me like the gentleman he was. Chivalry was not dead after all. The fabric of the tuxedo stretched out due to his defined biceps. I stood in awe, admiring the work of art. “Your ride awaits you milady”. I sashayed down the steps and into the car i went, not forgetting to give my love a peck on the cheeks before getting in. My heart was pounding in my chest. “Wow 5 years with this dashing man” I thought to myself. In my heart, I knew he was the definite one for me. I thought back to the ring i found in his jean pocket a week ago, butterflies swarming in my stomach. I was grinning from ear to ear as i glanced at his direction. he looked back at me, returning the smile. The smile i fell in love with. “I’ve got something to tell you later” When we reached our destination, I felt a surge of adrenaline course through my veins as I eagerly anticipated for moment ive been waiting all my life for.

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I came across a flyer which stated “Win a free trip to Japan by signing up for this Photography contest!” At that time, I had just completed all my O levels examinations and decided there was no harm in joining this competition. Since I was in the Photography Club in secondary school, I was experienced in taking photos and videos. A few days later, I received an unexpected phone call.

“Congratulations! You have won the Photography contest!” Excitement was running through my veins and felt a rush of adrenaline as I headed down to the shopping mall to collect my free tickets. “I can’t believe I’ll be going on my first trip to Japan! I better tell Grandma!”

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I was minding my own business when suddenly,  my mom burst out if  the door while holding what looks like a family magazine. My mom showed me the magazine and suggested to go to the sentosa food festival for our family bonding time, as due to the recent pandemic we have not been interacting with each other and catch a breather of fresh air.  The moment my indolence brother, obese father and I heard about the news, suddenly growling noises filled the room.

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I was having my first solo piano performance coming up in less than a week. I had practiced many months day and night, just to perform a two minute piece. As the saying goes, One minute on stage takes ten years of practice. I made sure i mastered my timing, tempo, and even my body posture. I was working as hard as I could! I had many intense practice sessions with my instructor, and countless number of times playing in front of my parents, enduring the physical pain. This was not just a simple performance, it was a do or die for me to reach the next and final grade. All my friends and family were attending this event, I was really looking forward to the event and exhibiting my skills. As the day was approaching, my enthusiasm grew exponentially. In school, I chuntered on about my upcoming performance and how much I had endeavoured for it like a broken record.

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The day was going to be perfect, I had everything planned out. As I stared into the mirror, I admired how effort I put into looking my best for this one specific day. My hair was as smooth as silk and curled like the waves of the ocean, my dolly white dress that I had saved for such an anticipated day was finally worn. I didn’t realise i was smiling from ear to ear, I guess I was subconsciously elated. I grabbed my black leather purse with keys inside as I scurried my way towards the car. “Hey, I’m on my way there, the restaurant, I’m so excited Cole! Are you almost there yet?” I texted. “ I am, Audrey I’m so happy to be going on this date with you today.” His words warmed my heart.
I arrived at a restaurant with a neon sign hung in front of it reading “Adam and Steve’s”. I entered the restaurant and was greeted by a polite waitress offering to bring me to a table. The restaurant was dimly lighted with just fairy lights around the restaurant and candles on the tables. There was a funky tune playing in the background as I sat down at the table I was brought to. I ordered a iced latte for myself as I waited for Cole’s arrival. Minutes felt like hours as i finished my iced latte, still waiting  patiently for him to arrive. Intrusive thoughts filled my mind, “ What if something happened to him on the way here? Did he stood me up?”

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I was woke up, the blinding light shining through my window, I got out of bed and brushed my teeth with with a shining reflection of my wide smile. I was going to see Bob again after 2 years. In the 3 hour wait for his flight's intended arrival, my mind was filled with all the memories of him. As i climbed into the taxi, i couldnt help but glee the whole ride through. It was almost as though he was right here with me. The signature aroma of his black wood deoderant wafted into my nose i looked at the driver, convince that it was bob. The driver looked at me,"where to?" He asked. "Umm, phoenix sky harbour." I replied, mind still on his rough hands touching on my neck after a long day of wood chopping. The whole ride, i posted stories on my instagram and previous memories with bob.

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He finally arrived with a black, shiny ford and pulled up at the most right parking slot. He was wearing a white button-up, tucked into a pair of crisp black jeans, topped with a silver watch on his left wrist while his dirty blonde hair was slicked back with a strand falling onto his forehead as he walked towards me charismatically. Just his presence alone made me forgive him for being late.

“ Hey, I’m so sorry, took me some time to put together this perfect outfit.” he said to me with a smirk on his face. He gently sat down right opposite me and looked at the menu. I drifted off while admiring how good he looked, he snapped his finger in front of me trying to get my attention back. A gorgeous waitress then came along and asked if we were ready to place our order. I looked up mesmerising how pretty she looked then noticed how he was staring at her for just a little too long. I shook it off and said “i would like to have a cheesy beef burger with a side of truffle fries please.” I looked at him noticing how he shot me a look as if he was judging what i just ordered. He then placed his order and when the waitress left, he questioned me if i was sure of what i ordered. I was caught off guard, I was bewildered, a look of confusion swept across my face, not knowing what he meant. “ Oh, it’s just that most girls would usually think that it’s too fattening to have all that. “ I was a little shocked at what he said but just laughed it off. Not long after, our food arrived. He continued using his phone even after we started dining and was barely trying to have a conversation with me. I could not stand how awkward the atmosphere was so i tried starting a conversation but he just replied to me coldly with one word answers, not even looking up from his phone for one second. This brought up red flags to a potentially good relationship. I finished my food with many thoughts of getting out of this place and away from him. Suddenly, his phone started ringing. After he answered the phone, he turned towards me and whispered while cupping his phone, “Hey, I have to go now.” and walked out the restaurant without a goodbye.

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Finally, the day arrived. I was eagerly practicing in the backstage, afraid to make any fatal mistake. "Kenny!" i heard a loud shout. The voice had me stood up suddenly, which accidentally made the piano cover fell and slammed onto my fingers. My fingers were jammed as they started turning bluish purple, fear crept over me. I knew this was the end of me! My hands were aching and crying to be looked at but I still had to perform. I walked, hunched back, towards the grand piano, millions of eyes bore on my back. I exhaled noisily through my pursed lips with a rigid expression like a weeping statue in a cemetery as I set my stiff fingers onto the pure white and black keys. Despite my best efforts to play in a perfect and constant speed, the music kept becoming noise. I notice myself cringing with each key played, and subtle sounds of annoyance each time a sound was made. the judges still kept their intense glare, their faces like statue. On the verge of crying, and hands threatening to leave the keys, I knew I made the judges shocked by the blundering of my playing.

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Upon arrival, the set up of the event was well executed. The festival is almost an exact replica of Jamie’s Italian Restaurant. There were a lot of different stores selling vast varieties of food, where the stores are promoting their best selling dishes to everyone at the festival. However, it was raining cats and dogs, which makes the store incredibly hard to access without getting wet. Since we did not expect rain, we were not prepared with an unbrella. We took the long route to look for shelter which took about 30mins due to traffic congestion. By the time we arrived, we were greeted by the staff working in the stall.

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As we entered the michelin star restaurant, i was mesmerised by the huge elegant chandeliers hanging from the high ceilings. the classy hues of cream that coloured the walls were enough to make me feel like a royalty in her palace. And being beside this man made it infinity times better. While we were enjoying the scrumptious food, he suddenly stood up and cleared his throat. I felt as if my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I thought this only happened in fairy tales, how did i get so lucky with this prince charming? As he bent down, i rehearsed in my head how i was going to say yes.

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Heeled boots pounding the gravel caught my attention, and I turn away to find a twenty something woman approaching. Sweat glistens like she’s been running for blocks  “Are you Benjamin Koh?” I nodded my head with confusion. She stuffed a blue envelope into my hands and rushed off. I opened it and saw a pair of tickets.

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With the biggest smile on my face, I got the biggest sign i could get out of the taxi with the name written in large black with his personal favourite font, open sans, reading, 'FOR BOB'. I enter the airport, excited to see Bob again. I walked to the gate thinking of the candle lit dinner we would have after this. At the gate, 5 minutes early, I saw a much younger woman standing at the gate, holding a sign saying ‘Bob’ in open sans. Originally, I dismissed it as a coincidence, but as time passed, I got more and more suspicious. I went to and waited in the toilet, butterflies in my stomach waiting for Bob to walk into a taxi to surprise him. To my horror, he walked up to her and hugged her. I ran to a taxi stand, head cupped in my hands.

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At the Chinese New Year Food Festival hosted seven years ago to bond families together and celebrate the start of a new beginning, I was with my family who had went to Taiwan to celebrate Chinese New Year with our distant relatives. After the reunion dinner, we went to the famous Shilin night market at Taipei to try the dim sum. I saw the advertisement outside a 3-star Michelin restaurant and thought it was delicious looking with the soup glistening down into the spoon and the meat was steaming hot. There were many empty seats which appealed to us as we were tired of walking around hence I told my family that I had found a great place to rest and rejuvenate ourselves. My father ordered a steaming hoard of dishes while my sisters were posting photos of the picturesque hotel view they had taken in the morning on social media. I was elated to try the xiao long bao the most as it was the chef recommendation and also famous world wide.

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After all the blue Hawaiis and piña coladas, I waltzed back to the resort, the hallway was eerily ambient. The air conditioner was left whirring yet I was sweating. To my horror, I approached my door, I realised that my hotel room door was busted open the opposite way. I stepped my weary feet into the rummaged through room, a strong ocean breeze was felt blowing into the devoid room, accompanied by a sense of incoming panic. My room had been ransacked. This holiday, my once in a blue moon break, is now officially a disaster.

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I was on the verge of crying. I off stage ran to my parents immediately for comfort, but was greeted with intense glares and heavy sighs. I had to retake the examination which was in two years time. I knew that i had dampened the spirits of my friends and family despite them trying hard to put on a big smile to comfort me. I tried to dissemble my disappointment with a joke but I made no effort to hide the emotion from my face. No one expected the accident to happen.

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The days felt like weeks, my hands trembling as I waited anxiously for my application results.
Finally, the day has arrive to receive my results .my heart palpitating as I open up and read the results word for word. The word “rejected” caught my eye , my heart in disbelief as read it.the tears rolled down my cheeks as reality started to dawn on me , the false promises broken I made to my parents about me becoming a ballerina. My throat became as dry as a desert , barely able to speak.

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However, the least of my expectations occurred. I was left in a state of confusion. Instead of his hands going into his pocket like I expected, his fingers reached down to his leather shoes. After a few seconds, he got back up and sat down. My mind was blank. If disappointment could kill, I would have died a million times right there. “ okay... maybe he’s just anxious...” I tried making up excuses for him. I decided I should prompt him a little. “Hey um didn’t you want to tell me something?” I asked hoping he would speed things up as I was getting impatient. “Oh uh yea... but i just want you to know that I’ve loved you so much and please don’t get mad okay?” He declared sheepishly. A frown formed on my face as I thought what an awkward way to start things out, but I didn’t think much into it. Little did I know that things would take an abrupt turn. What a fool I was.

A bunch of words were falling out of his mouth but i could only grasp parts of it. “I’m sorry” ... “it’s just not working out” ... hot tears were spilling down my cheeks. I felt as though someone had ripped my heart out of my chest. A wave of emptiness and disappointment and anger washed over me. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs “NO. YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME. THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! YOU SAID WE WERE FOREVER?” but nothing came out. I felt constricted as if my voice box had an off button and it was turned off right now. The world around me was spinning. But the ring... everything started to make sense now. His sneaking around, being so jumpy lately.

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When we approached the restaurant, we realised there were no waiters waiting for customers outside even though it was open. As there were many seats available, we just walked inside and took a seat by the window. As we look through the menu, my mouth watered from the pictures of the delicious-looking food. My father rang the bell to take our orders but no one responded. The restaurant was not crowded as there were little customers so the waiters should be free to attend to us. After a ringing a few more times, an annoyed-looking waiter approached us. He grouchily took out orders before leaving rudely. We were upset by his attitude towards us but we didn’t want to let it ruin the excitement of the world famous Xiao long Bao. After waiting for like an eternal days, it finally arrived. The bamboo steamer looked aesthetic with cravings of china’s art. We opened the cover and feasted our eyes with it appetising look. But to my dismay, although it looked appetising to the eyes when I took the first bite, all the excitement on my face drained away.The taste lingered  for awhile however the taste was normal, no different from the store bought ones.  The dumplings were dry and the soup was little to none.The once glistening soup I knew was so tasteless and bland. The meat was tough and dry. The skin and meat were definitely overcooked, the skin was barely holding the meat, so much so that the skin was sticking to the bamboo steamer. There was no meat juices that exploded and filled my mouth with umami flavour. The taste was so awful and unfortunately, it was only one of the many dim sum that tasted bad. I was traumatised for the rest of the night, unable the wash away the horrible taste, my mother ordered bitter drinks to numb the sour taste of the food, which I chugged down an entire bottle of beer to numb the acidic feel.

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A beeline was formed along the lottery centre “The Golden State Warriors are going to win for sure!” Exclaimed the person queuing in front of me. “TheToronto  raptors will win, no doubt!” cheered another there was a back and forth banter discussing who was going to win. I was highly confident on Golden State Warriors winning in Game 7, as the Toronto Raptors were the underdog going into this series. I could hear the intensity of my heart pounding against my chest as I approached the counter. “This is the moment of truth, go big or go home” I muttered under my breath. I placed my $1000 bet on the Golden State Warriors and skipped excitedly towards the exit knowing in my heart that they were going win.

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The day of the match came, I trotted into the oracle arena with great anticipation. The surrounding atmosphere transfigured as I stepped foot into the arena, the crowd roared with enthusiasm and I felt the rumbling of the floorboard as if a thousand elephants were stampeding through the arena. I glanced at my ticket and approached the row A, seat 8. I sat down as the tip-off began, both teams were attacking and defending, as the ball flew back and forth. As the golden state warriors continued to score with fierce competitiveness and intensity, the Toronto Raptors, too, fought with great ferocity in each lay-up and dunk, with fans from both sides watching the game on the edge of their seats. just as I was anticipating with excitement as I munched on the popcorn . After a vehement  battle, it was a tied game with 24.0 seconds left on the Tissot shot clock.
After taking a glance at the scoreboard , my once confident heart that the GSW would surely dominate the game was soon sunk deeply by a large of seed of doubt that was planted in the soils of my heart. Darius Wong from the Toronto Raptors had the ball in his hands as he gestured to his teammates to clear the court. With the shot clock winding down, gleaming with certainty   Darius Wong went up for the shot over Zheng Yang, swerving over his adamant hands. I clenched my fist, rooting for the shot to miss , but fate had other plans.
That night, I, like many fans on that fateful night, were in disbelief that GSW had lost. As my lost eyes fell onto my crumpled sports-betting ticket in my shaking palm, the world around me came to a standstill.

“This can’t be... there’s no way they lost!”,  I exclaimed to myself as red and white confetti fell on my head.

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My flight was bound to leave at five in the morning today. Fortunately, I was too exhilarated and packed my luggage right after I found out I have won the tickets. I was twisting and turning in my bed as the day that I have been looking forward to had finally come. I thought about what I would be doing there as I slowly drifted to sleep.

In a blink of an eye, I was already at the gates of the terminal, with my passport, ticket and my luggage in hand. I handed my ticket to the young woman behind the counter. She swiped the ticket past the scanner but to no avail. She looked back at me and told me that the ticket was invalid. In disbelief, I insisted for her to try again but she could not scan it. Her colleague beside her checked the ticket and told me it was a fake barcode. I stared at her as my eyes widen. I told her that I have won the ticket and she pointed to the television on the pillar.”Did you get it from her?” I turned and saw the same familiar face, and brown wavy hair from yesterday. The title below wrote “ female scammer sentenced to two years of jail for scamming teenagers.” My vision turned blurry as tears started to form in my eyes. I grabbed my passport and luggage and rushed through the line behind me. I barged out of the line and crowd behind me as my face turned warm and red.I wasn’t sure if I was embarrassed or angry, or both at the same time.

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Since there is a heavy downpour, the authorities canceled the event and evacuated visitors to nearby shelters. Almost all of the shelters are crowded with peoples sheltering from the rain. We did not get to eat our desired food we wanted, but we thought to ourselves that not all hope was lost. We looked around to look for a decent store near the shelter, and noticed a restaurant with a long queue and decided to queue for it as we have a mindset of places with long queue equals to good food. Since the place is crowded, we estimated that we need to wait at least 30 minutes for them to take our order. I ordered my personal favourite mac and cheese, hoping to get a chewy strechy texture of the cheese with sauce filled macaroni, bursting out its fresh aroma after uncovering the cheese "cap". However, after I recieved my polymer takeaway plate with Macaroni and Cheese, it looks as if it is a deflated balloon. With its small pathetic portion, giving out a stench as if expired cheese were used. I took a spoonful and carefully put the food into my mouth. I could smell the stench as the food entered my mouth. I immediately spat out my food. It was absolutely disgusting. This was one of the worst cuisine that I have tasted. The sour taste of the cheese and the rock hard macaroni destroyed my view on how bad a food can get, it was as if I have eaten an uncooked macaroni with a three days old sauce.

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The disappointment engraved painfully on my mind caused me to make a promise to myself that next time, I would not be too particular on over exerting myself. I should instead keep a balance between practicing the piano and taking time for other activities. In two years, I am going to take the breaths of others and enlighten their ears with the pleasant sounds I play. I will be the most stunning of all and shock the judges that did not have a good impression of me. As well as achieve a perfect score for the performance then.

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I experienced a concoction of emotions dawning on me. I was disconcerted, what was I to do? My mind was racing at all the disastrous consequences this could bring and finally my brain suddenly spiked a thought through my conscience. My innate response was to check my luggage, thus I made a stumbling beeline straight to see what was spared, I scavenged through my virtually empty bag hopelessly, and to no avail, nothing was left. All of it gone, just because I was brimming with impatience to explore Hawaii.

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“... Karen, you okay ?” His words brought me back to reality. I stared at him dead in the eye and said “ Frick. You.” I grabbed the nearest thing to me, unfortunately it being a wine glass. Before I knew it, the wine glass was being hurled across the restaurant as whispers and gasps filled the space. The glass broke into smithereens, resembling my heart, unrepairable. I pushed through the front doors of the restaurant. I felt the wind rushing past me, the tears not stopping. It was as though Niagara Falls was on my cheeks. I ran and ran and didn’t stop. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. How naive I was to think he still loved me after all these years. The moments we spent together. The late night calls till 4 am. All for this? I had questions. I wanted answers. I needed answers. But I couldn’t bring myself to face that man again. The man I once called my own...

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“Earth to Kieran! Hello, you there? Snap out of it!”, my friend pulled me out of my seemingly eternal daze. I was standing at the grand red carpeted entrance of the same resort. A thousand mile travel, months of anticipation, my hopes for a long awaited relaxation at the beachside, all wrecked by an unfortunate robbery. Reflecting back, I have indeed learnt a lesson from this experience, I will be more cautious in my search for a safe and reliable hotel, and find ways to keep my valuables safe and discreet to prevent such accidents from ever ruining my future experiences again. ;(
(Cliché ending I know, but it works 😃👍)

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This food festival changed the way on how I see towards on how macaroni can taste. I am disappointed that macaroni can taste this bad... I hope my family and I can plan before heading out.

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a few days had passed since the heartbreaking incident. i sat on my bed, gazing out of my window, watching the world unfold before me. birds flying around, my neighbour walking her dog, three days worth of newspaper laying pathetically at the foot of my front door. i glanced around my room, dark and cold. my eyes wandered about to the flood of unused tissues littering my floor. my eyes stopped as i was met with an unrecognisable reflection in the mirror. my tear stained face looked ghastly. dark eyebags had formed under my eyes and my lips were dried and cracked from dehydration. i looked down to the little device i was clutching in my hands. i recalled what the packaging for the device had said, “two red lines indicate pregnancy”. i was too numb to feel anything. how could i have been so stupid and foolish to think that he loved me. that we would get married. a wave of regret washed over me. it was supposed to be the perfect anniversary date. i wished i wasn’t so naive. disappointment was an extreme understatement of how i felt.

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I grabbed the bottle hastily and chugged down the whole thing in one gulp. I groaned as I reached for another one. My father, who was very drunk, cheered me on as I chugged down the beer swiftly. Soon, there were 3 empty bottles laying on the table, a half-empty beer bottle on my hand. I leaned back and breathe a sigh of relieved as the horrible taste of the dumplings has faded. With my face red from feeling woozy and my brain was being massaged, I ended the day with a few shots of Chinese wine and more bottles of beer.

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When I got home, I cried in bed and reminded myself that there are many fish in the ocean and that I would get a second chance. After consoling myself I finally got the confidence to text Bob, “ I saw what you did at the airport. We’re done bish!”. After a few minutes of waiting for his reply periodically checking my phone for his reaction, my phone in my hand began playing ‘Rick Astley, Never Gonna Give You Up’, the song which he placed as his ringtone on my phone. I let it ring, contemplating whether I should pick it up. My hand moved with a mind of its own and slid the cursor to the green side.

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The buildup of excitement of winning the money has now been dashed like a boat drowned by a mighty storm. I couldn’t contain the emotions as I was on the brink of weeping, my certainty of what to do next absolutely crushed like a deflated balloon, as my new reality started to sink in. The seed of doubt in my heart grew into a forest of untamed guilt and regret, as I questioned myself, “Why did I have to bet on that stupid match? How will I be able to pay back Afeeq now? I loaned a thousand dollars from him and I lost everything in less than a day!  I won’t even be able pay my rent now...”

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I was in great disbelief and I felt the world crashing down on me. My mind was blank. All I could think of is to call my mom. “This can’t be... there’s no way I got scammed” I complained to my mom as I spilled a bunch of vulgarities to express my frustration to my mother. As she slowly drove to pick me up at the airport, i thought to myself, “i am never getting scammed ever again I will always check for the legitimacy of the source.”

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I looked outside the restaurant window, baffled by his actions. The audacity that man has to walk away from his date is repulsive. I settled the payment by myself, still flabbergasted at the situation. I trudged my steps as I made my way to the nearest Baskin Robins and ordered my chocolate ice cream. The thought of what just happened kept replaying
like a broken record, I felt tremendously disappointed.

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“Mummy, mummy!” The sweet voice spoke once again. Her tiny hands were grabbing on to my forearm to gain my attention. My face softened as i looked at her lovingly.
“you still did not tell me why i don’t have a daddy!” she exclaimed.
“oh sweetheart...” i brought my hands up to her head and slowly caressed her auburn hair. how do i tell my daughter that her mother, who she looked up to, was completely  broken inside as her expectations were shattered and she would never truly be happy again?

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As I went back home after the day’s event, I told my cat about how disappointed I was. He told me everything was going to be ok.