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Wolff, Tobias. This Boy's Life. Grove Press, 1989.

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In this book, Tobias Wolff recounts his life as a teenager, living with his mother in different towns across the U.S. Which he reflects on his relationship with his mother, his struggles to fit in school, and the challenges of maturing.

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Survivor Story: Demi Moore - Domestic Abuse Project of Delaware County, Inc

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In this event, Tobias and his mother move from Florida to Utah, to try to get rich on uranium, and to escape her abusive relationship. This marks a change in their lives as they will have to face challenges in their new environment.

"We were driving from Florida to Utah to get away from a man my mother was afraid of and to get rich on uranium." (4)

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Domestic Abuse Project of Delaware County, Inc

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As a survivor of domestic abuse, each day brings a sense of peace and healing. To those of you reading who have been victims of domestic abuse, to those who are victims now, and especially to those who will become a victim of domestic abuse, I promise you there is hope. You chose to read this today for a reason. Before I get into my story, I want you to pause for a moment. I want you to ask yourself why did you choose to read this, and who are you reading for? What are your hopes to gain today? And as you are reflecting on how you are feeling and what you are thinking, I invite you to be fully present and engaged in the topic I am discussing.

I share my story with you to further clarify what it is like to be a victim of domestic violence, to understand myself as a survivor of domestic violence and reflect on the impact of this journey both personally and professionally. I also want to provide support and comfort to those who have or will suffer from domestic violence.

This is my story

My name is Demi Lynn Moore.
I save lives for a living.
I have a passion for health, well-being, and fitness.
I am strong, proud, and confident.
I am an educated woman pursuing a doctorate degree.
But on top of all of that, I was a victim of domestic violence.

I am 31 years old. I was born and raised in Pennsylvania and I have two loving and supportive parents, Shelly and Larry Moore. I am an only child. Growing up I attended school, received good grades, participated in school activities, and I was captain of the cheerleading squad. I had a lot of friends and enjoyed life. That's when it all changed. In October of 2006, I met my first ex-abuser. He was cute and charming. I enjoyed the extra attention and flattery, yet I was unaware that his flattery was a potential early warning sign of domestic abuse. He displayed a lot jealous traits and manipulative behaviors that I ignored because I was swayed with his charming personality. Or so I thought.

Research suggests: If a man has history of jealousy, possessiveness, and the ability to be charming, manipulative, and seductive to get what he wants, and hostile, nasty and mean when he doesn't succeed, the risk for battering becomes very high.

In December of 2006, the two of us were driving to Philadelphia to visit a relative of his and an argument started for a reason I can no longer remember. He proceeded to punch me in the left side of the face, causing my head to slam against the passenger side window. At that time, I did not know what to think. Was this real? Did this really just happen? I was confused and not thinking clearly. I had never experienced this before.

During another argument, he threw me through his closet doors, and the last time he put his hands on me he threw me down his spiral staircase. After tumbling down and trying to understand what happened, I truly feared for my life. I was able to get to my feet and run out the back door to my car. As I was backing out of his driveway, looking in my mirror for other cars, I stopped to put my car in drive. I looked to my left, and he was standing there with a metal baseball bat. I quickly sped out of his driveway and got away.

For months, he continued to contact me and even going as far as saying he was outside of my parents' house. It was in that moment, I had no other choice but to finally disclose some, not all, of the information to my parents. The local police in his neighborhood were notified and due to them being uninterested in helping me, I did not press charges or have him arrested. I requested that he leave me alone.

You're probably sitting there wondering why my parents didn't get more involved. I was a cheerleader still at the time, so coming home with bruises was not out of the ordinary. It was easy to hide it from them. I did not grow up in a house with domestic violence so this was new to me and I was not sure how to deal with it or process it all.

In June 2007, I graduated high school with very low self-esteem resulting from this. The low self-esteem continued as I began college. Looking back now, I demonstrated depressive behaviors. I had a loss of energy, yet I could not sleep. I was always agitated and restless and I continuously criticized myself for my perceived mistakes. I had little, if any, self - confidence. I did not believe that I had any personal value or self -worth.

I did not think it could get any worse until tragedy struck again when I developed an eating disorder stemming from the abuse. I struggled with self-image and by sophomore year of college my eating disorder was out of control. For the next year, I continued to hide that from my parents once again out of embarrassment. I lived at school, so again it was easy to hide. The eating disorder was taking over. I was found lying on the bathroom floor by a campus security guard after passing out. Finally, my senior year, my secret was out. My roommates figured out what was wrong with me and went to a counselor on campus who then notified my parents. At that point I had to confess to my parents I had an eating disorder. I moved home for my last semester. I was slowly dying. The eating disorder was going to win if I did not get help.

Still, through all of this I graduated from college in 2011, Summa Cum Laude with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology and a Bachelor of Arts in Criminal Justice. I knew that dealing with being abused and low self-esteem, and now an eating disorder, I had to do something to prevent this from ever happening again.

I was introduced to Krav Maga which is a self-defense and fighting system developed for Israeli Defense Forces. A combination of my fight training, and going to the gym, I actually started to feel a little better about myself, but I still was not eating properly. I was eventually introduced to a personal trainer who taught me proper techniques of working out, but more importantly she showed me the proper way to eat, finally convincing me that with proper nutrition, combined with training, I could eat and lose weight a health way. I finally developed the body I was looking for and a new passion in life for physical fitness training.

At this stage in my life, I obtained a job with the State Police, and in 2012 I began my career. Life was perfect, right? Wrong.Within a year after beginning my career, I met and started dating my second ex-abuser. After all I had been through and after climbing out of my emotional dark hole, three months into us dating, I was once again a victim of domestic violence.

The verbal and physical abuse I endured in this relationship was far worse than anything in my past. The verbal abuse was every day and the physical abuse was a few times a week. By this time, I was living in my own apartment, and he eventually moved in with me. It started with him slapping me across the face, but quickly progressed to him coming after me with a butcher knife, and sleeping every night with a loaded gun under his pillow, to him eventually holding the loaded gun to my head, waking up looking down the barrel of the gun, to him attempting to set me on fire, destroying my apartment, punching and kicking me in the legs, stomach, ribs and face.

He went through my phone and deleted every single male that was in my phone, even if they were family or co-workers. He knew all of my passwords to my email accounts as well as my social media accounts so he could "check up on me" anytime he wanted. He knew where I was at all times. He knew when I was to leave for work, and when I was to return home. If I was a minute late, I was in trouble. I could not go to the store alone, I could not go see my parents alone, and I definitely could not hang out with my friends alone or go to the gym alone. He degraded me in the lowest of ways you can degrade a human.

I was extremely close to my family and he was not, therefore he resented me for that. We could not attend family functions and if we did, we either got there late due to an argument or he would start an argument while we were there so we would have to leave early. I was running out of excuses to make for him. He would tell me I can only talk to my parents once a day so I would try to get all of my calls into them while I was at work and out of the house. I was being isolated from my family and I was losing friends because I could not tell anyone what was going on. I was a prisoner within my own home.
During this time, he was not working. I was the only income, paying all of the bills, rent, my student loans, his car payment, our gym memberships and phone bills. I was going broke. I knew there was a problem when I had a full-time job, yet had to ask my parents for money to put gas in my car because I did not have any.

With all of the abuse, and how unstable we were, he thought it would be a great idea to get a dog. He thought it would "bring us closer together," I guess like a child. To save an argument we did. I of course paid for my now six year old miniature dachshund. I always say I am not sure who saved who, but I thank God for him because I feel like he saved me.

By now you have to be wondering what happened next? She left him right? Well not exactly. In September of 2014, it got worse. I do not know what was worse the fact that he actually proposed to me, or the fact that I accepted a marriage proposal from a man that has tried to kill me numerous times. On the outside I was portraying this happy couple I had a nice diamond to show off and I had become such a professional at hiding the abuse and having all of my family and friends thinking we were a happy couple. I began to tell myself, "this is going to be my life...but it can't be." I was smiling on the outside, but on the inside, I was dying.

You have to also be thinking, "She's a cop, why doesn't she have him arrested?" Eventually my work did find out about some of the abuse. I can only use so much makeup to cover up the bruises. I was called in by my superiors for questioning, yet they did not arrest him. It is only within the last ten years that Intimate Partner Violence or domestic violence has been taken seriously as a criminal justice issue within the national context of our country so I could not understand why they were unable to see the fact that I was crying out for help. That night after I was called in for questioning, he told me if he got arrested he would kill me first and make it look like a suicide. He eventually began calling and harassing me while I was at work.

By January 2015, I had enough. January 23rd he was out drinking with friends. I got up for work at 3am and he was not home. I called him and naturally he cursed me out yet eventually showed up at home with a friend. He and his friend eventually walked in the door and went to the main bedroom and went to sleep. I wanted answers so I walked back to ask him where he was at this hour and more importantly how did he get home. He stood up and threw me against the wall. While continuing to use profanity, he told me I did not have the right to ask him these questions. I reminded him that I was his fiancé so I did have the right to ask. He never answered so I walked out into the living room.

As I made it out there, he came running down the hall. He threw a candle at the wall and it smashed. I could see my puppy under the kitchen table and I can still to this day hear his yelp as he was crying. He ripped the hallway closet doors off of the hinges. He did not care. He was not responsible for any of the damage. He then picked me up by my neck with both of his hands around my neck and began to strangle me. As he did so, he was also and slamming me into the front door. His friend came running out and was yelling for him to let go of me. Eventually he put me down, and as I could feel myself fading in and out, he punched me in the face. I fell to the ground and I could see him coming back for another punch until his friend jumped in.

The room went black, but I could still hear their voices so I knew I was alive. He said to his friend, "If the cops come, tell them she hit me first." His friend said, "No I just watched you lay your fiancé out in front of me and we don't even know if she is alive." The two ended up leaving after that. Once I realized they were gone, I knew if I did not end this relationship, either he was going to kill me, or I was going to kill him. Someone was going to end up dead.

January 25th was it, I had enough. I told him the relationship was over and he needed to come pick up his stuff. I do not think he believed me. I made sure my family was there when he eventually showed up with his friend. He was shocked to see I really had his stuff packed and this was the end. Box by box he carried them out making comments but I ignored them. On January 25, 2015 that night for the first time in 3 years, I slept with both eyes shut.

One of the best predictions of future violence is a history of past violent behavior. When my relationship ended with him, I was contacted by one of his ex-girlfriends who told me that she wished she only reached out sooner. She told me when she was with him she experienced some of the same violent behavior that I went through. And as time went on, the girlfriends after me would reach out to me asking if I had experienced any of his violent behavior. Yet we all concluded that I seemed to get the worst of it.
Turning the Page for a Better Life
During this disastrous relationship, as you can imagine I relapsed with the eating disorder. Here I was once again at the bottom of a dark hole. In 2017, I decided to go back to school and pursue my Master's Degree. He did not have a college education and hated the fact that I did, therefore he would not allow me to continue school while with him and I could not afford it because of him. Since then, I have gone to a counselor which helped me overcome some, not all of the emotional distress. I have joined a new gym and I train harder than ever which has always been one of my true passions. Counseling is a great tool however I found the best therapy to be the gym, talking with my family and friends and most of all, sharing my story.

In May of 2019, I successfully graduated with my Master's Degree from and in September 2019, I began pursuing my doctorate degree.
A Bright Future Ahead
I share my story with you not for sympathy, but in hopes of saving someone else's life. The questions often come up, "Why did you stay so long?" Or "Why didn't you just leave?" There are numerous reasons why someone doesn't just leave, and why someone stays in a relationship that could kill them. Fear. There was a fear of staying and a fear of leaving. Statistics show that in a domestic abuse situation, if the abuser has access to a gun, which we had, it will increase the chances that the woman will die by 500 percent. It's incredibly dangerous to leave an abuser, because the final step in the domestic violence pattern is: kill her.

In closing, domestic violence thought I would die unhappy and unloved at the hands of my abuser. God had other plans. I want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my story with you. I hope that it has been educational and helpful. I hope that if anyone reading today is in the midst of a violent relationship or you know anyone who is, you can see with me here today there is a way out. I am here to tell you that that there is a group among us who suffers alone because keeping silent appears safer than speaking out. To break the silence it brings pain, shame, rejection, and suffering. So they keep it in and feel alone.

I often found myself reflecting on the words of one researcher: It takes a long time to forgive yourself, especially if you are a person who tends to be hard on yourself. You probably can't believe that you, of all people, got involved with a toxic man. Maybe you saw the signs, yet you remained in the relationship in order to fix him or change him. Once I began to believe in myself, I began to understand that my story was impactful and I could make a difference. I decided to no longer hide from my experiences as a victim of domestic abuse; instead, I embraced my encounters and became a more resilient survivor and took control of my entire existence. I realized that I could never again allow myself to become a victim of domestic violence if I truly wanted to obtain authenticity. I was now not a victim, but a survivor.

As my journey continues, I hope to leave you with this message. Domestic violence does not discriminate. There is no one story fits all and each story is unique. There is a light at the end of the dark tunnel and you do not have to live in darkness forever. Please continue to follow my journey as I take my tragedy and turn it into a triumph. Keep an eye out for my upcoming book releasing this year, A Trooper in Moore Ways than You Know where I share my entire story.
If you, or someone in your community is in an abusive relationship, please call the Domestic Abuse Project of Delaware County's 24/7 crisis hotline at 610-565-4590 for support and resources.

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Survivor Story: Demi Moore - Domestic Abuse Project of Delaware County, Inc

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By Demi Moore As a survivor of domestic abuse, each day brings a sense of peace and healing. To those of you reading who have been victims of domestic abuse, [...]

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While arriving in Utah, Tobias decides to change his name, to honor Jack London, and he thought that it sounded better than “Tobias”.

“I wanted to call myself Jack, after Jack London. […] And I liked the sound. Jack. Jack Wolff.” (8)

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Libby's story: overcoming my feelings of loneliness and finding my strength

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This is where Jack experiences his new school in Utah, which he faces challenges with fitting in and establishing his identity. He then becomes angry with his teacher, Sister James, which makes him leave a club.

"Too her I was just another boy doing some dumb boyish thing.[...]I became furtive around her. I began skipping archery and even some of my catechism classes." (12)

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It was upsetting to see how quickly people deteriorated during the pandemic. We did lots of welfare calls to keep in contact and try to keep people's spirits up, but the loneliness was crippling. Even people with no previous experience of poor mental health were really low and depressed. A lot of the people I care for told me that they felt they weren't supposed to be here anymore.

I felt really vulnerable - I could see people suffering and I couldn't help them in the way I wanted to, because we were all stuck at home.

Alongside feeling lonely myself, I also felt really guilty. I wanted to help and do more but I physically couldn't because I was already giving as much support as I could. We all need human connection and my way of coping was to speak with my family and friends.

I did my best to keep in touch with everyone, give them ideas and encourage them to do things. I think it's important to keep your mind busy and keep a positive mindset.

Little things matter

I know when I talk to people through my work, even if it's only for half an hour, I can have a big impact. We'll do a jigsaw together, or have a chat about something we've seen on the telly. Little things matter and something as simple as a conversation can make a big difference.

There's always someone to talk to - even if it's just over the phone or on a video call. You're never on your own - you have to put your trust in the person you're talking to and get things out. I always feel better when I can express myself and say how I'm feeling, even if it feels scary.

And when you share your own feelings, you can ask other people how they're doing too. I like to get my friends' thoughts on things, I ask if they have ideas to help. It means we can work together to make a plan and make things better.

I found strength in trying to support other people. Prioritising my friends and family, and making sure that they were ok gave me purpose and something to focus on. I'm not sure I realised it at the time, but by looking after other people, I was looking after myself and those connections helped me to feel less lonely.

Feel the sunshine on your face

Keeping your mind busy and finding something to do is helpful.

To anyone who is lonely now, and feels that their mental health is suffering, I'd say take a moment. Take a deep breath and make a call. Talking to someone and making that connection is so important.

And it's important to remember that this feeling of loneliness won't last forever. There is a future. It's springtime now and summer is around the corner. Get outside and feel the sunshine on your face - there is still enjoyment to be had and things that make us smile.

If you feel affected by the content you have read, please see our page for support.

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Libby's story: overcoming my feelings of loneliness and finding my strength

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I'm Libby, I'm 22 and I live near Wakefield. I have experienced loneliness myself and also amongst those I helped throughout the pandemic, many people's mental health deteriorated during this time.

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When Jack meets his new stepfather, Dwight, He first seems as a nice person. But then their relationship becomes increasingly strained. It then begins to escalate, as Jack starts to like him less and less.

"Dwight kept coming back, [...] Also he was very nice, very considerate. I didn't worry about him." (63)

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'It started out as 'the talk.' But it was hands on. I remember feeling dirty and wanting to crawl in a hole and die.'

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After living for a while with Rosemary and Dwight, Jack and Dwight  decide to move too Chinook to find different interests for Jack, but then Dwight shows his true personality.
“ I hear you're a real hotshot. Come and go where you please, when you please [...] pull that hotshot stuff around me and I'll snatch you bald-headed," (91)

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"I'm not sure how old I was when it started. I remember waking up in the middle of the night. The blanket would be pushed down and he'd be lifting the hem of my panties up. Just looking at me. I would be frozen in fear. I'd pretend to start waking up by moving a little or making a noise. He'd duck down and I would get out of bed and go into the bathroom. I would wait until I heard their door open and close and I would quietly sneak back into my bed.

As an adult I tend to think of this as the 'passive' abuse. Not because it didn't harm me but because it didn't progress from looking to touching that I am aware of. The more 'active' abuse started when I was 10. My mom was pregnant with his daughter at the time. It started out as 'the talk'. But it was hands on. He touched me and made me touch him. I remember my legs shaking and being extremely uncomfortable. I remember feeling dirty and wanting to crawl in a hole and die.

I didn't disclose until later. I didn't tell anyone. I remember my sister was born in November and I had just turned 11 a few months before. She was maybe 2 years old. Life had become unbearable under the weight of my secret. I was doing dishes and my mom and I had been arguing. And before I knew what was happening, I blurted out that my step-dad had been abusing me.

The rest of that conversation is a blur. I don't know what I told her in those emotional moments. I do know that by the end of it she and my step-dad had joined ranks. I was standing where the living room and kitchen met and my mom and step-dad sat next to one another on the couch. They were saying I could report it, and my step-dad said he would call the police himself. That he would go to jail and I would be responsible for breaking up the family and for my sister growing up without her dad.

The sexual abuse stopped but nothing else changed. My stepdad still acted pervy around me and my friends. My brothers didn't know what had happened. I'm sure they caught bits and pieces as nearly any fight ended with me screaming about what had happened. My mom tried to tell me at one point that my step-dad didn't know better because his mom had abused him and taught him about sex, the way he had tried to 'teach me.' She also tried to push blame on my brothers. She said maybe it was them lifting up the blanket and lifting up my panties. Maybe one of them was curious. To this day I feel sick to my stomach about her saying those things.

It got to the point that we were fighting all the time and my parents decided I needed to see a counselor because they couldn't figure out why I was so hateful and angry. I did not want to talk to a counselor. They forced me and so in retaliation I disclosed to the counselor. It was scary once I realized what I had done and she informed me that she was required to report my disclosure. I was terrified. Now I deeply regret what happened next. My mom received a phone call and told me some people wanted to talk to me. The counselor had reported what I had told her and my mom told me if I pressed charges and talked to these people, I would have to sit in a courtroom full of strangers and tell them every sordid detail and answer questions. I was a very shy and meek child and this would have been my worst nightmare. So I refused to speak to the person and as far as I know, no one ever followed up.

Through high school I was very depressed. I thought about ending my life. I had low self-esteem and my step-dad always piled on to that. My brothers and I would take turn doing dishes and if he found one dirty dish in the cupboard he would empty all of the cupboards and whoever washed dishes last would have to rewash all of them. He told me that no man would ever want to marry me because I couldn't keep the house clean. While I knew that wasn't true, I did think no man would ever want me - I was tainted.

I would walk to school and imagine what would happen if I stepped into traffic. My anger also turned toward my step-dad. I would develop elaborate fantasies of him being killed. Tortured. He would call us a*sholes and little f*ckers. At 17, he picked me up and slammed me against a wall during an argument. I ran away to my best friend's house and my step-dad called the cops. A male officer showed up at my friend's door. He said if there weren't bruises, there was nothing they could do. He said that as long as I lived under his roof, my step-dad could do whatever he wants. I was 90 lbs soaking wet. He was well over 200 lbs. My friend's mom let me stay at their place. We shared a room for the rest of my senior year in school. I got a job. I started to live with less fear and anger.

Fast forward, I married my second boyfriend at 21. I was cutting myself and drinking way too much. I remember we had thrown a party and almost everyone had left. I was throwing up and banging my head against the toilet over and over, telling my husband I was going to kill myself.

I ended up moving with my husband to Georgia where he was from. It was two years into our marriage and we were on the verge of divorce. I was desperate to fix things. To not fail. Our move helped things and I became pregnant. I was so happy but my husband wasn't as thrilled. He never really talked excitedly about the baby. My mom and step-dad were going to come for the birth and they were first traveling to Florida for a NASCAR race. They were four hours away, so when I went into labor a week early, I called my mom and told her that my water broke and we were going to the hospital. She said she would see me next week. I was crushed because I thought for sure she would be there when I needed her. It was all I wanted, to have my mom in the room when I gave birth.

When they finally came, my mom took a million photos. On one trip to Walmart my step-dad decided it would be fun to race someone over a bridge. He got his rental car to 90 mph. I was screaming at him to stop... my 2-week-old son was in the car! He laughed at my anger and couldn't understand why I was so upset.

After my son was born, I felt like my husband and I fought more and more. He finally asked for a divorce when my son was a month old. We tried to make it work, but when my son was 4 months old I flew home to Oregon. I lived with my parents for 6 months. While I was gone, my parents had started growing medical marijuana in their backyard. They went from smoking it in their room, hidden from us kids when I was growing up, to smoking it in the living room, outside on the back patio, and wherever they happened to be. I would take my son to other rooms and my step-dad would tell me that the smoke is healthy for kids.

After 6 months an old coworker of mine was getting out of the army and needed to find a place. He offered to be my roommate and we found a place just before Christmas. I still let my son see my parents with me present. But my son started having behavioral issues and having him around my step-dad, who would scream and literally throw tantrums, was not something I wanted.

My mom finally left my step-dad. She kicked him out for other reasons. She lasted nearly a year. But despite my constant support and that of my siblings (we were all so happy), she spent most of that year in bed, depressed. She took him back. I realized at this time I didn't need to have him in my life. That year without dealing with him was amazing and I wasn't ready to lose that. I tried to have her over to my house, but she said if my step-dad wasn't welcome she didn't feel welcome. We still fought so much.

Eventually I asked my doctor about medications that could help my constant nightmares. She was a new doctor, and I was already on antidepressants. She asked so many questions and told me I have PTSD from my childhood. I laughed it off. She sent a counselor to talk to me. They agreed I needed medication for my nightmares, but I had to agree to go to counseling. By this time I didn't feel that was necessary as I had stopped cutting years ago. I had to be strong for my son so I pushed through the depression and didn't let myself wallow when I felt down. I was fine.

I decided to go anyway. My counselor was so young. I would find excuses not to go. But she pushed me to do things. I got my driver's license despite my anxiety because seeing her pushed me to do things I had been avoiding. She told me to take baby steps, but I took leaps and bounds. I finally felt strong enough to cut my mom out of my life. I wrote her a 6 page letter detailing the abuse and telling her I couldn't have my son around my step-dad, both because of the sexual abuse and other abuse growing up, and the way they live their lives. I remember my mom talking to me on the phone. She was drunk. She blurted out in the middle of an argument, 'He's not going to f*ck your son'. It was the last straw. It dismissed everything I was going through, everything he had done. She didn't care. She would never care.

Everyone I talked to suggested I try to work it out with my mom. I was told I would regret my decision if my mom died and I didn't fix things. I felt so much dread about telling my 8 year old son he wouldn't be able to see grandma and grandpa anymore because they were making bad choices. Finally we were walking home from daycare and I told my son about my decision and he put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'That must be very hard for you, mom'. I still cry about how compassionate and selfless my 8 year old was, not knowing about the sexual abuse, but knowing I was doing what I thought was best.

It has been a rough four years since I made that decision. My son is now twelve. He is amazing. The only time I have heard from my mom since, was about 3 years ago. She left a voice message saying this was tearing our family apart. She wanted me and my step-dad to take a polygraph so we could move past this. Her voice was flat. Emotionless. I played the voicemail for my counselor and we talked about how it made me feel. Over the past few years, I realized how it made me feel. Disgusted. Angry. Sad. But what I really felt was that I had made the best decision for my son and myself, and her voicemail drove that home so hard.

It makes me sad I won't see her again. I hope my my step-dad dies before my mom so that I can go to her funeral and say goodbye. But I am at peace knowing that no matter what, my son is safe. I am safe. And if my son ever learns about the abuse, my choice will teach him that he doesn't have to have toxic people in his life. That is it always okay to do what is best for him and his family. I have wonderful support from my friends and family. I talk more openly about what has happened so that others can know they are not alone. I lost my chance to press charges because I was not strong enough before the statutes of limitations ran out. But if my voice pushes one person to report, then it is worth every single moment of hell I've gone through."
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Heather Swartley. Submit your story here, and subscribe to our best love stories here. Read more stories about beautiful children with dwarfism here and here.
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'It started out as 'the talk.' But it was hands on. I remember feeling dirty and wanting to crawl in a hole and die.'

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"Life had become unbearable under the weight of my secret. He told me no man would ever want to marry me because I couldn't keep the house clean. I knew that wasn't true, but I did think no man would ever want me. I was tainted."

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6. Dwight forces Jack to do labor for him

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6. Dwight forces Jack to do labor for him

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Once in Chinook, Dwight would assign chores for him just to prove his power over him, he would also make him deliver newspaper and take all the money, leaving none for Jack.

"After school I deliver newspapers. [...] I delivered the Seattle Times and the Post-Intelligencer to msot of the houses in Chinook [...] The route paid between fifty and sixty dollars a month, money that Dwight took from me as soon as I collected it." (98)

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Dwight finnaly shows interest when he teaches Jack how to fight, he likes his agression.

"Dwight gave me Skipper's old Scout manual, [...] 1942 edition full of pictures of '"Fighter Scouts"' [...] I read the Hand-book almost every night, crusing for easy merit badges" (102)

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While hanging out with his friends, Jack starts to talk about Arthur behind his back, as Arthur hears this, he approaches Jack and insults him, which then leads to a fight.

"His first swing caught me dead on the ear [...] When he swung again I turned away and took his fist on the back of my head. [...] He almost knocked me down again but I suprised us both by landing one on his eye. He stopped and roared." (109)

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APA Mental Health Primers

This information is designed to help teachers respond to students who may need support. It is not intended to be used as a diagnostic tool or to replace the use of formal assessments employed by mental health professionals. Additionally, it is important to consider the context of the situation, individual differences, and cultural and linguistic considerations.

Teachers are an important part of establishing and maintaining healthy environments for children to learn and grow. Teachers are critical contributors to promoting safe school interactions and facilitating positive relationships.

What is Bullying?

Bullying, including cyberbullying, involves repeated actions intended to cause harm in relationships where there is a real or perceived power imbalance.

Bullying can be verbal (e.g., purposeful humiliation, teasing, threatening), physical (e.g., hitting, kicking, shoving) or relational (e.g., social exclusion, spreading hurtful rumors).

Bullying can occur in many contexts on school campus or off campus (e.g., in the virtual learning environment [VLE] or cyberbullying) Cyberbullying, for example, is not limited to either physical academic spaces or even the hours spent in them, but in fact, often occurs outside of both.

Bullying and cyberbullying includes the interactions among students who bully, targets of bullying, and, at times, bystanders. Students may fall into one or more of these groups, depending on the social situation.

Bias-based bullying is bullying that specifically targets a person because of characteristics of their identity (e.g., race, language, sexual orientation, ability, body size, gender identity, religion and/or practices).

Cyberbullying is distinct from in-person bullying. It is willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices.

Cyberbullying content can be very public and pervasive, and can exist permanently in a digital archive, such as via social media. It can also be targeted directly to a single student, such as via text or direct messaging.

How Does Bullying Affect Students?

There is the potential for long-term negative mental health outcomes (e.g., anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression) for youth whoare the targets of bullying as well as those who bully. Schools with healthy climates that discourage bullying have better academic outcomes.

In-person Bullying on School Grounds

Name calling, fighting, humiliation, and public shaming in class or at school.

Excluding someone from a group or event, such as from the lunch table.

Gossiping or spreading rumors.

Physical acts such as shoving, pushing, punching, stealing, or even attempting to intimidate a peer to help them cheat in class or on homework.

Stalking and following.

Cyberbullying Via Classroom Chat, Social Media, or Gaming Platforms

Name calling, fighting, humiliation, and public shaming online.

Excluding someone from a chat or other online event.

Gossiping or spreading rumors, sometimes through a false impersonation/avatar/online personality.

Sharing incriminating or embarrassing pictures or texts.

Cyberstalking, inauthentically responding to a post or message, trolling, and "catfishing" or false online personality.

Recommended Practices

Schools with safe and positive school climates often use an explicit social and emotional learning curriculum. Seek training on adopting a comprehensive social emotional learning curriculum to promote safe, positive school environments. Select a social emotional learning curriculum that specifically addresses bullying, cyberbullying, and bias-based bullying (bullying based on identity characteristics, such as race, language, gender). Consider the comfort of each student when planning meetings. Having the target of bullying and the instigator in the same room can be intimidating and embarrassing. Bystanders often wish to remain anonymous.

With your students, develop a class contract that specifies mutual respect, inclusion, and anti-bullying. Refer to the contract throughout the year.

Conduct classroom activities around bullying. Discuss its short-term and long-term impacts on health and personality. Have discussions to promote better peer relations.

Discuss bullying in the context of students' sociopolitical contexts, including the possibility of bullying targeting students because of their identity, and the importance of addressing bias-based bullying and hate speech.

Be the adult your students need. Treat students with warmth and respect: Let students know that you are available to listen and help them.

Refer Students to Further Help if Needed

Be familiar with your state's antibullying legislation and your school's and district's policies regarding bullying.

Encourage parents to report bullying to school staff, rather than attempting to resolve bullying incidents among themselves.

Review your school policy for seeking student supports.

Contact school counselors, psychologists, social workers, and other personnel.

Related Mental Health Primers

Empirical Research

Acker, M.M. & O'Leary, S.G. (1987). Effects of reprimands and praise on behavior in the classroom. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 15, 549-557.

DuPaul, G.J., Eckert, T.L., & Vilardo, B.A. (2012). The effects of school-based interventions for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A meta-analysis, 1996-2010. School Psychology Review, 41, 387-412.

Fabiano, G.A., Pelham, W.E. Jr., Coles, E.K., Gnagy, E.M., Chronis-Tuscano, A., & O'Connor, B.C. (2009). A meta-analysis of behavioral treatments for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Clinical Psychology Review, 29, 29-140.

Pfiffner, L.J., Villodas, M., Kaiser, N., Rooney, M., & McBurnett, K. (2013). Educational outcomes of a collaborative school-home behavioral intervention for ADHD. School Psychology Quarterly, 28, 25-36.

Sarver, D.E., Rapport, M.D., Kofler, M.J., Raiker, J. S., & Friedman, L. M. (2015). Hyperactivity in Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): Impairing deficit or compensatory behavior? Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 43, 1219-1232. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10802-015-0011-1

The Mental Health Primers are developed by the Coalition for Psychology in Schools and Education. This resource was updated in October 2021 with support from cooperative agreement NU87PS004366 funded by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Its contents are solely the responsibility of the authors and do not necessarily represent the official views or endorsement of the CDC or the Department of Health and Human Services.

Last updated: October 2021

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Teachers are critical contributors to promoting safe school interactions and promoting positive relationships. Part of the APA Mental Health Primers for teachers responding to students who may need support.

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Jack decides to attempt to run away to Alaska to escape his relationship with Dwight. His friend Arthur asks to go and he agrees.

"I had eighty dollars squirreled away in the ammuniton box [...] Eighty dollars seemed a lot of money, more than enough for my purpose which was to run away to Alaska [...] He thought so highly of it he asked to be included." (155-156)

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If you're worried about anything, big or small, we can help.
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Leila's arguments at home got too much before she got help from Childline.

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While in another town , Jack plays a game to try to win a clock radio. But someone name Smoke breaks the rules and takes his money without giving him the prize.

"I keep the points again?"' I asked. [...] I thought I'd won the points I needed but Smoke said, '"Too bad, Jack. Star Straddle."' [...] Means you have to straddle. Straddle's minus forty." (165)

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After the scamming incident, Jack then tries to meet back with his brother Geoffrey, but is unable to. As he continue to get in trouble by forging a bank check.

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Jack finally leaves Chinook, then is accepted in to an elite school named Hill school, where Mr. Howard serves Jack as a mentor and Jack is appreciative of their affection and care for him. Jack then leaves his home for Hill.

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Before he leaves for Hill, Rosemary and Jack leave Dwight as he shoved Jack right Infront of her. Since they left, Rosemary tells Jack he can live with his friend Chuck Bolger.

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Jack promised his mother he woud behave good at his friends house, but due to the bad impact Jacks friends had on him such as stealing, smoking, and fighting, It caused Jack to steal gasoline at a nearby farm owned by the Welch family. Jack instantly regretted hi desicion but couldn't bring himself to apologize which made Mr. Bolger very mad, so he asked Mr. Wlech if he wanted Jack to work at his farm, which he declined.

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Chuck Bogler is then about arrested for the rape of a girl named Tina Flood, who is pregnant.

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During summer, Jack goes to stay back with his dad in California to spend time with his dad and his brothers. But when Jack arrives his father leaves with his girlfriend to Las Vegas, when he returns he gets arrested and is sent to a sanitarium.

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The sheriff's will excuse him if Chuck is willing to marry Tina, but he refuses so he becomes on the verge of being sent to jail.

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When Chuck arrives at prison, he then offers to marry Tina. They marry and then he makes a plan to leave her and takes Jack with him to leave Seattle.

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As they get in the car to leave, they both start to sing while leaving and Jack starts to worry about his grades at Hill.

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After Jack cannot make the grades expected for his elite school, he is expelled and decides to join the army and serve in the Vietnam War.