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The imposition of binary structures serves those in power within a cis-heteronormative society and harms everyone else. The idea that there are only two ways to be, and often that one is better than the other, excludes and alienates so many who exist. The queer community has fought for the recognition of ideas and identities that do not fit neatly into long held ideas of what it means to be a man or woman, gay or straight, masculine or feminine. The way that queers have historically challenged and rejected binaries in order to include those who exist in between or beyond these “opposites,” existing in/on/around a spectrum rather than a binary, is something I admire and cherish. I feel, or at least hope, that we are currently (working on) shedding the weight of these imposed false dichotomies as a collective society in search of a truer, more accurate view of ourselves and the world around us. This has not and will continue to not be an easy battle, as people cling to what they have been taught and ideas that do not fit into the ideology that they have grown accustomed to scares them greatly, especially when it threatens their power.

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While many in the queer community fought hard for marriage equality and rejoiced when same-sex marriage was made legal in all 50 U.S. states, many others recognize that this is not the indication of major progress that it was generally perceived as. Despite having achieved “equality” in a certain sense, it was equality within an institution that wields its power in violent ways. As explained in Marriage Will Never Set Us Free, marriage is a tool of: anti-Black racism; colonialism; xenophobia and immigration enforcement; gendered social control; and a means of “protecting private property and ensuring maldistribution” (Spade and Willse, 2013). An institution that punishes those who do not buy into it and rewards those who do, such as by allowing or withholding access to healthcare and financial benefits, is not very liberatory. Radical queer politics include a recognition that rejecting the institution is better for collective wellbeing than seeking the ability to assimilate into it.

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Central to radical queer politics and queer existence in general is a rejection of the status quo–challenging norms and expectations set by a white supremacist, capitalist, cis-heteropatriarchy which seeks to control, suppress, and exploit people for the sake of profit and the maintenance of established power structures. This looks like challenging heteronormativity and chrononormativity, refusing to engage with capitalist systems as much as possible, rejecting institutions that uphold white supremacy, and demanding equitable access to basic needs like healthcare for all. This looks like uplifting those rejecting and challenging oppressive norms and expectations and centering the most marginalized voices, building solidarity, and fighting towards collective liberation.

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One of the most common aspects of queer desire is the desire for acceptance of who we are, especially unconditional acceptance: acceptance without assimilation. Queer folks should not have to try to adjust their identity and the way they live their life to attempt to resemble our cis-het peers as closely as possible in order to gain recognition as valid, valued members of society. This lack of acceptance underlies tragic stories of rejection that are all too common, whether it be socially with friends or colleagues, or familially–like being kicked out or disowned as a consequence of existing as queer–or various forms of discrimination and violence which exist at various levels, all of which fuel extreme fear and anxiety around coming out.

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As a result of the hostile and hateful environment created by oppressive systems of power previously mentioned, it is incredibly difficult for many queer people to accept their own queerness. As a result of heteronormativity, a lot of people do not realize that they are queer until relatively late in life, making it even harder to accept themselves and their identity as they have spent so much of their lives assuming that they were cis-het and/or that there was something wrong with them, rather than there being something wrong with the world we live in. Even if/when one is able to discover or recognize their queerness, being able to accept it with comfort and pride is a whole other story.

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Willse, Craig, and Dean Spade. “Marriage Will Never Set Us Free | Convergence.” Convergence Magazine, 6 September 2013, https://convergencemag.com/articles/marriage-will-never-set-us-free/. Accessed 6 December 2023.

Rejection of Binaries image:

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-to-break-away-from-the-gender-binary

Rejection of Institutions: Marriage image:

https://www.vecteezy.com/vector-art/21397200-variable-wedding-illustration-set-flat-vector-stock-illustration-lgbtq-lesbian-and-gay-wedding-different-ethnos-lgbt-groom-bride-sexual-orientation-vector-graphics

Rejection of Status Quo image:

https://www.istockphoto.com/vector/a-strong-woman-fight-with-a-huge-hand-that-tries-to-crush-her-the-concept-of-social-gm1339270086-419655437

Queer Acceptance image:

https://lgbtqfamilyacceptance.org

Acceptance of Self image:

https://pngtree.com/freepng/selflove-concept-with-woman-hugging-heart-vector-illustration-vector_12876198.html