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The power of just one caring Adult - Every child is one caring adult away from being a success story

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Motivational Speaker for Teachers — Josh Shipp

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Josh Shipp: Power Of One Caring Adult | Motivational Speakers for Teachers Inspiring K-12 Educators

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real life look at being in care and a scene with a YP meeting his IV

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Documentary that follows Joe Swash as he explores the stories of teens in care over the age of 16, the largest-growing cohort in both child protection and care.

Over the years, Joe Swash's magnetic personality has endeared him to millions of TV viewers, but now he is delving into something more serious, and more personal.

This documentary follows Joe as he explores the stories of teens in care over the age of 16, the largest-growing cohort in both child protection and care.

His motivation to make this documentary is deeply personal. It's an issue that is close to his and his family's heart, as his mum, Kiffy, has been a foster carer for over 15 years.

Joe wants to spend time with teens across the UK who live in foster care, in residential children's homes, and some who left at 18 and are trying to make it alone, to show what growing up as a teenager in care is really like.

His journey of discovery follows the long-awaited publication of the Independent Review of Children's Social Care, which promises a 'once-in-a-generation opportunity to transform the children's social care system'. But can it really get to the root of the problems facing teens in care?

Through this experience, Joe also sees at first hand the work of foster carers and the army of frontline workers dedicated to helping teens in care, as he seeks to find out how some of the issues they encounter in the care system might be tackled better.

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Joe Swash explores the stories of teens in care over the age of 16.

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Powerful video - Believe in Children

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Here is the link for Children's Rights within Northampton which includes links to Advocacy, IVs and Our pledge to children in care and care leavers

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Independent visitors

​An independent visitor is a volunteer who will spend time with just you on a regular basis.

They are somebody that you go out with, to do fun things, have a chat, try new activities or just chill with.

Before you start to see your independent visitor, we will make sure they are good, safe people. We try to find someone who has lots in common with you, such as hobbies and interests.
Who can have an independent visitor?
A referral can be made for you to have an Independent Visitor if your long term plans are for you to remain in care until your are 18 and have no more than 6 visits a year with your birth family - this does not include you seeing your siblings.

If you are over 21 years old and are interested in becoming an independent visitor for children and young people, click here

If you have any questions, you can contact ivservice@nctrust.co.uk

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Your Rights | Northampton Children’s Trust

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​An independent visitor is a volunteer who will spend time with just you on a regular basis.

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Childhood Trauma and the Brain | UK Trauma Council

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A documentary that shows you the real dangers of online gaming

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Video from young person perspective in 90 seconds - It doesn't have to end like it began

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Barnardo's | 2011 | Life Story | 90 Seconds

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Foster Care - From A Child's Perspective

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Read 27 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. Emma was just 13 when her happy childhood came crashing down. A nice girl from a good home,...

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An insight into what a young person will go through when being forced to marry

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Forced To Marry (Investigative Documentary) | Real Stories

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Tea & Consent - A great way to share with your YP what consent means 

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Tea & Consent - A great way to share with your YP what consent means 

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Cuckooing is where drug dealers take control of the victim’s home, and use the premises to store, prepare or distribute drugs.

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An insight into how far a parent can go to convince people their child has an illness

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The Twisted Case of Gypsy Rose Blanchard and Her Controlling Mom | Killer Cases

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Radicalisation and extremism - educational video

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Could you spot the signs of Child Sexual Exploitation (CSE)?

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COUNTY LINES Official Trailer 2020 Drugs Gangs

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Children As Young As 12 Trafficked Around UK To Sell Drugs

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In full: MP shares with Commons her own experience of domestic abuse | ITV News

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Safeguarding Adults at Risk of Abuse Explainer Video

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0:00 / 14:02•Watch full video

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Barnardo's |"A Friend By Nature" Independent Visitors Network

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The Right Friend | Independent Visitor Scheme | NYAS

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The Right Friend campaign champions every care-experienced young person’s right to access an Independent Visitor scheme, helping to battle loneliness in care.

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ONLINE GAMING FRIEND TURNED KILLER - Lewis Daynes

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24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, the National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence so they can live their lives free of abuse.

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We are a service for anyone aged 16+ in England and Wales who has been affected by rape, child sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment or any other form of sexual violence - at any point in their life.

This includes people who have experienced sexual violence or abuse themselves, as well as their friends, family or anyone else who is trying to support them.

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We are a service for anyone aged 16+ in England and Wales who has been affected by rape, child sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual harassment or any other form of sexual violence - at any point in their life.

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If you are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police. If you can't speak and are calling on a mobile press 55 to have your call transferred to the police. Find out how to call the police when you can't speak.

For free, confidential advice, 24 hours a day contact a domestic abuse helpline.

Household isolation instructions do not apply if you need to leave your home to escape domestic abuse.

Translated guidance

If English is not your first language, information has been translated into several languages as well as an easy read version.

Women's Aid also have guidance documents on domestic abuse and coronavirus available in a number of languages for victims, family and friends, and community members of those affected.

If you are deaf, you can access a British Sign Language video that explains how to get help if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic abuse.

Recognise domestic abuse

Does your partner, ex-partner or someone you live with:

cut you off from family and friends and intentionally isolate you?

bully, threaten, or control you?

take control of your finances?

monitor or limit your use of technology?

physically and/or sexually abuse you?

Domestic abuse is not always physical violence. It can also include:

coercive control and 'gaslighting'

economic abuse

online abuse

threats and intimidation

emotional abuse

sexual abuse

Anyone can be a victim of domestic abuse, regardless of gender, age, ethnicity, religion, socio-economic status, sexuality or background.

If you believe that you are a victim of domestic abuse, there are signs that you can look out for including:

being withdrawn, or being isolated from your family and friends

having bruises, burns or bite marks on you

having your finances controlled, or not being given enough to buy food, medication or pay bills

not being allowed to leave your house, or stopped from going to college or work

having your internet or social media use monitored, or someone else reading your texts, emails or letters

being repeatedly belittled, put down or told you are worthless

being pressured into sex or sexual contact

being told that abuse is your fault, or that you're overreacting

See more signs to look for.

Get help and support

All forms of domestic abuse are not acceptable in any situation.

If you're experiencing domestic abuse and feel frightened of, or controlled by, a partner, an ex-partner or family member, it's important to remember that it's not your fault and there is no shame in seeking help.

It may seem like a difficult step to take, but there is support available and #YouAreNot Alone.

Free, confidential support and advice is available to victims and their concerned family members or friends, 24 hours a day.

Bright Sky app

Bright Sky is a mobile app and website for anyone experiencing domestic abuse, or who is worried about someone else.

The app can be downloaded for free from the app stores. Only download the app if it is safe for you to do so and if you are sure that your phone isn't being monitored.

Women's Aid local support services directory

Women's Aid have a directory of domestic abuse support services across the UK.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse or are worried about friends or family, you can access the Women's Aid live chat service 7 days a week, 10am to 6pm.
helpline@womensaid.org.uk
Victim Support

Victim Support run these services for victims and survivors of any abuse or crime, regardless of when it occurred or if the crime was reported to the police:

Ask for ANI codeword

If you are experiencing domestic abuse and need immediate help, ask for ANI (Action Needed Immediately) in participating pharmacies and Jobcentres (Jobs and Benefits Offices in Northern Ireland).

When you ask for ANI, you will be offered a private space, provided with a phone and asked if you need support from the police or other domestic abuse support services.

To find your nearest participating provider, search using the postcode checker on the Ask for Ani page on the Enough website.

Ask for ANI logo used in participating pharmacies and Jobcentres (Jobs and Benefits Offices in Northern Ireland).

Safe Spaces

Ask for ANI is delivered in partnership with Safe Spaces, a safe and confidential room where victims can take some time to reflect, access information on specialist support services or call friends or family.

Safe Spaces are also available in Boots, Morrisons, Superdrug and Well pharmacies, TSB banks and independent pharmacies across the UK.

Find your nearest Safe Space.

Check whether someone has an abusive past

If you are concerned that a new, former or existing partner has an abusive past you can ask the police to check under the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (also known as 'Clare's Law'). This is your 'right to ask'. If records show that you may be at risk of domestic abuse, the police will consider disclosing the information. A disclosure can be made if it is legal, proportionate and necessary to do so.

If you are concerned about a friend or family member, you can apply for a disclosure on behalf of someone you know.

You can make a request to the police for information about a person's previous violent offending in person at the police station or elsewhere, by telephone, by email, online or as part of a police investigation. Support agencies and services can also help you ask the police about this.

Get a court order to protect you or your child

If you're a victim of domestic abuse you can apply for a court order or injunction to protect yourself or your child from:

your current or previous partner

a family member

someone you currently or previously lived with

This is called a non-molestation or occupation order.

You can apply online, by email or by post.

Get a court order if you've been the victim of domestic abuse.

Support someone you know

If you are worried that a friend, neighbour or loved one is a victim of domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free and confidential advice, 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247.

Or you can contact the other support services listed on this page.

Seeking help for someone you know can be challenging but #YouAreNotalone. Domestic abuse advisers will offer confidential, non-judgemental information and advice on the options available to you helping you to keep safe and make informed choices.

If you believe there is an immediate risk of harm to someone, or it is an emergency, you should always call 999.

If someone confides in you, there is more information on how to support a friend who is being abused.

If you are an employer

Let your employees know that if they are facing domestic abuse you want to help them to get help. Stay in regular contact with employees you know, or fear, may be facing abuse and if you lose contact with them, take swift action to visit them. If you believe there is an immediate risk of harm to someone, or it is an emergency, always call 999.

Encourage employees to look out for others who may be facing domestic abuse and signpost them to support. Your staff may also be worried about their own abusive behaviour at this time. There is no excuse for domestic abuse, no matter what stresses you are under and support is available.

Hestia's Respond to Abuse Advice Line is a free resource for employers. Employers can call 020 3879 3695 Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm, or email adviceline.eb@hestia.org for support, guidance or information about domestic abuse and how to support employees and colleagues experiencing domestic abuse.

The  Employers' Initiative on Domestic Abuse website provides resources to support employers including an  employers' toolkit.

If you are a professional working in the domestic abuse sector

SafeLives  provides guidance and support to professionals and those working in the domestic abuse sector, as well as additional advice for those at risk.

Find additional information and support

If you want to access help specifically to cater to your background and needs or want support and help for specific types of abuse there are several organisations that can help - see Domestic abuse: specialist sources of support.

You can also find additional information and support here on topics including:

help for children and young people

welfare benefits and housing advice

help if you don't have settled status in the UK

support for specific types of abuse

Get help if you think you might be an abuser

If you are concerned about your behaviour or the behaviour of someone you know, there is support available.

The Respect Phoneline  is an anonymous and confidential helpline for men and women who are abusing their partners and families. It is open Monday to Friday 9am to 8pm. The helpline also takes calls from partners or ex-partners, friends and relatives who are concerned about perpetrators.

A webchat service is available Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays from 10am to 11am and from 3pm to 4pm.

Telephone: 0808 802 4040

How to call the police when you can't speak

If you are in danger and unable to talk on the phone, call 999 and listen to the questions from the operator and, if you can, respond by coughing or tapping on the handset.

Call 999 from a mobile

If prompted, press 55 to Make Yourself Heard (PDF, 348KB) and this will transfer your call to the police. Pressing 55 only works on mobiles and does not allow police to track your location.

Call 999 from a landline

If the operator can only hear background noise and cannot decide whether an emergency service is needed, you will be connected to a police call handler.

If you replace the handset, the landline may remain connected for 45 seconds in case you pick up again.

When 999 calls are made from landlines, information about your location should be automatically available to the call handlers to help provide a response.

If you are deaf or can't use a phone

You can register with the emergencySMS. Text REGISTER to 999. You will get a text which tells you what to do next. Do this when it is safe so you can text when you are in danger.

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Find out how to get help if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic abuse.

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The effects of domestic abuse

Domestic abuse can have a considerable impact on your health and wellbeing - and your children. The immediate physical effects of domestic abuse can include injuries such as bruises, cuts, broken bones, lost teeth and hair. It is also likely to have an effect on your mental health and your self-esteem , that can last for a long time after leaving an abusive partner. Some survivors might develop coping strategies such as using alcohol, drugs or other substances. If you are struggling with this, support is here for you .

Children might suffer short and long-term health and development complications as a result of witnessing and experiencing abuse. In some cases, this can lead to learning difficulties.

Starting over after abuse

When the abuse is over and you have made practical arrangements in relation to housing, money and schools - you may be expecting to feel great, but be patient because this may not happen straight away.  Sometimes, survivors may feel an immediate sense of elation which may suddenly be displaced by feelings of grief and overwhelm. However you respond individually is valid.

Recovering from the trauma of being abused by someone you once loved and trusted is a long process and it may take months and even years for you and your children to heal.

For some people, it is also normal to experience a sense of anti-climax. You are likely to experience grief and the range of emotions which go with it, including a deep sense of loss. After all, your trust has been betrayed and your self-esteem and confidence shattered.

Mental health support after leaving abuse

Leaving an abusive partner can be a long, tiring and stressful process. The transition to freedom from abuse is often a busy period. Women often find that they don't have time to process their feelings as they are busy understanding legal processes, arranging housing and securing children's futures.

When you are safe and have a secure future ahead of you, many women understandably expect to feel amazing. It's normal to feel a sense of anti-climax and for a process of grieving to begin when you have more time for space and reflection. The journey to emotional recovery is just beginning and will require patience, support and self-care.

You've gained your freedom but you may feel as though you have lost a lot too. Your trust may have been betrayed, you may have lost your confidence or left material belongings behind, this could have been your home, your job or income, sentimental belongings and pets.

All grieving processes take time and this is no different. There will be some days when you feel like you are moving one step forwards and other days when you sense you are moving backwards.

You might feel the urge to change your whole lifestyle by joining local organisations, returning to education or looking for a new job - but pace yourself and move at your own speed rather than worrying about what others might expect.  Treat yourself gently and don't rush the healing process by setting unrealistic goals.

A big change has taken place and you may feel lonely and isolated at first, coming home to an empty house or flat. There may even be times when an abusive partner or family member seems better than no one at all.

A perpetrator of abuse might have cut you off from friends and family, but it's never too late to try to re-establish contact with them or create new support networks - in time, you will build confidence to make new friends.

Think about the things below as practical ways of looking after yourself:

Take time and space for yourself each day

Reward yourself

Do something you enjoy and are good at

Take regular exercise like swimming, running, dancing or walking

Learn a new skill like yoga or meditation

Try creative activities like drawing, painting or writing

Practice relaxation exercises like breathing exercises

Try to eat well and to get enough sleep

Contact your local domestic abuse service, they may have access to a support group or specialist domestic abuse counselling.

Living with someone who is always putting you down, criticising you, controlling you and being abusive or violent towards you will have chipped away at your self-confidence.

You may find it hard to make decisions if the perpetrator did not allow you to make choices for yourself.

Managing money is likely to be very difficult if the abuser controlled all the household finances. You might be having to manage on a more limited income - as well as having had to leave behind many of your personal possessions.

But you have already taken a huge, courageous step in leaving and you must give yourself credit for that. It might help to write a list of all the things you have achieved in your life so you can return to this when you are feeling low.

You might find it helpful to talk about your experiences with other women who have also been in abusive relationships. You could contact your local domestic abuse service or visit the Survivors' Forum - a safe, anonymous space for women to share their experiences and support one another. You also can call the Freephone National 24-hour Domestic Abuse Helpline (run by Refuge) on 0808 2000 247. You can also contact the helpline in BSL , from Monday to Friday between 10am and 6pm.

While you were with the perpetrator, you may not have been free to make decisions on work, study or how to spend your free time.

Now, you have the freedom to choose for yourself and your children, but it's normal to feel scared and overwhelmed when these choices are in your hands. Women's Aid is here for you.

When you left the relationship, you may have had to give up your home, your job or moved to a new area for safety. As you settle into your new life, it's important you think about what you want now. Do you want to go back into work or education? Would you like to retrain or do some voluntary work instead? It's okay if you don't feel ready to think about this yet, everything takes time.

Gingerbread is an organisation which can support and advise single parents on a variety of issues . You can call their on 0808 802 0925, or via the NGT Text relay service if you need support in BSL. They also have access to multilingual interpreters. There is also a and a peer support forum .

The organisation supports parents of disabled children with a variety of issues or concerns, such as financial advice, education, health services and more. Call their on 0808 808 3555 or find advice and information on their page.

Helping your children after abuse

Your children will also need time to adjust to the new situation. They will almost certainly have been affected by the abuse they witnessed or experienced directly (see the section on Children and domestic violence for more information on this).

If you have moved to a different area, they will no doubt have to attend a new school and make new friends. These transitions can trigger huge anxiety and a grieving process linked to leaving behind their home, friends, pets and treasured possessions.

As the main adult in their lives who they love and trust - your children will look to you to give them the answers and reassurance they need. You may find this responsibility very hard at a time when you are trying to deal with your own emotions. On the other hand, some women view this task as a helpful distraction and even see it as a reason to carry on. Be as honest with your children as you can in a way which is safe and easy for them to understand. Tell them that you love them and reassure them that nothing that has happened is their fault.

Try to establish a 'normal', consistent routine as soon as possible. This will help to show them that you can be relied upon even though their father or step-father has let them down. Listen carefully to your children's concerns and help them to find other sources of support (e.g. trusted relatives, teachers, youth workers, refuge and domestic violence outreach staff).

Although your children will feel relieved the abuse has stopped, it is likely they might miss their father or step-father and blame you for the loss as a way of expressing sadness and anger.

provides information and support for young people themselves. The Young Minds Young Minds parents' information service provides help for parents concerned about a young person's mental health and also explore how divorce and separation affects children and young people.

The Young Minds parents' information service provides help for parents concerned about a young person's mental health. They also have a parents' helpline , available on 0808 802 5533 from 9.30am - 4pm, Monday to Friday, or a webchat open during the same hours.

Young Minds provides information and support for young people who may be struggling with their mental health, or worrying about someone else.

offer young people's support groups and counselling.

provides confidential support for children on 0800 1111 (24hrs) or chat online to a counsellor.

are a support service that can connect children/young people to support services around any problems they may be having including domestic abuse. They can be contacted on 0808 808 4994 or via their live chat service (3pm-midnight every day).

work to prevent abuse and rebuild children's lives. They can be contacted on 0800 800 5000 (24hrs).

Counselling and self-care

Domestic abuse can impact your mental health. It can lead to mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, or increase the symptoms. This can affect your mood, sleep, appetite and can make you withdraw from activities you enjoy, decrease your motivation or, in severe cases, make you have suicidal thoughts or self-harm.

Remember, you are not alone, Women's Aid is and ready to support you.

There are lots of way you support yourself through difficult days. Self-care can include exercises or hobbies, letting you take a moment for yourself and give you some time to relax, helping you process what you are experiencing and think about further support. Every woman will have different experiences of abuse, so while you may find some things useful, others may not work for you.

You may also want to access counselling services after experiencing abuse.

The NHS mental health services can help you find a local therapy or counselling service or you could speak with your GP for a referral.

It can be difficult to reach out to support services, especially if you have a mental health diagnosis, but our support services are here for you.

When you reach out to Women's Aid Live Chat , our fully trained female support workers can offer you support and discuss any options you may have based on your individual circumstances.

Whoever you reach out to, your experiences of abuse should be validated. It may be hard if you don't experience this when speaking with friends or family but it's important to remember that reaching out to someone is a huge step in finding support.

Abusers often use mental health as a way to exert control and intensify abuse but abuse is never your fault. Only the abuser is responsible for their actions. Some examples might include:

Say you couldn't cope without him

Label you as "mad"

Not allow you to go anywhere alone because he is your "carer"

Speak for you, saying you don't understand or get confused

Tell you you're not capable of being a good mum or that you're not able to look after your children properly

Force you to have an abortion, saying you wouldn't be able to cope

Threaten to take your children away

Threaten to tell social services, implying that your children will be taken away

Tell your children that you can't look after them

Deliberately mislead or confuse you

Withhold your medication

Withhold or coerce you into using alcohol or drugs

Undermine you when you reach out for support. He may do this by telling authorities like social services or the police that you are 'mad' or that they shouldn't believe what you say

Using gaslighting techniques to further impact on your mental health

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I've left and I need support - Women's Aid

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The Survivor's Handbook provides practical support and information for women experiencing domestic abuse.

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Child abuse can happen in different ways, and can include neglect as well as physical, emotional and sexual abuse.

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Types and indicators of abuse: Safeguarding adults - SCIE

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When there's a serious concern about a child and you've shared the child's identity, the child protection specialist will make a report and share information with social services. This is known as 'making a referral'.

They might also contact local police if the child is in immediate danger. If the Helpline don't need to make a referral, they'll give you advice on what you can do or information on local services.

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When there's a serious concern about a child and you've shared the child's identity, the child protection specialist will make a report and share information with social services. This is known as 'making a referral'. They might also contact local police if the child is in immediate danger.

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Galop works with and for LGBT+ victims and survivors of abuse and violence in the UK

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On Thursday 30 November from 2:30am - 7:30am, you won't be able to contact Childline whilst we do some important maintenance to our systems. This means that 1-2-1 chats, calling and messages to Childline will be unavailable. You'll still be able to use the Childline website for advice and information.

If you're in danger or it's an emergency, you should always call 999

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Get help and advice about a wide range of issues, call us on 0800 1111, talk to a counsellor online, send Childline an email or post on the message boards.

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Trans, Non-Binary & LGBT+ Organisations

Below is a list of organisations that provide support and / or advocate for the rights of trans and non-binary people in the UK. The list also contains general LGBT organisations who work with and for trans, non-binary and gender diverse communities.

For listings of local groups, visit Tranzwiki - a comprehensive directory of the groups campaigning for, supporting or assisting trans and gender diverse people - at https://www.tranzwiki.net/. Trans Unite is an online resource and directory of local and online support groups for trans and non-binary people in the UK (https://www.transunite.co.uk/).

UK:

Gender Identity Research and Education Society (GIRES) - Advocacy and information charity:  www.gires.org.uk

Mermaids UK - Supporting gender diverse young people & families: www.mermaids.org.uk

Press for Change - Leading experts in UK transgender law: www.pfc.org.uk

UK Trans Info - National charity for trans and non-binary people: uktrans.info

Scotland:

LGBT Health and Wellbeing - Wellbeing support and social opportunities for LGB & trans+ people: www.lgbthealth.org.uk

LGBT Youth Scotland - Information, support and social opportunities for LGB & trans+ youth (13-25): www.lgbtyouth.org.uk

Scottish Trans Alliance - Campaigns, advocacy and information: www.scottishtrans.org

Stonewall Scotland - LGBT equality advocacy and campaigns: www.stonewallscotland.org.uk

England & Wales:

CliniQ - Trans* wellbeing and sexual health (London): cliniq.org.uk

Gendered Intelligence - Support and advocacy for trans youth: www.genderedintelligence.co.uk

LGBT Foundation - Supporting LGB and trans+ communities: lgbt.foundation

Stonewall (England and Wales) - LGBT equality advocacy and campaigns: www.stonewall.org.uk

Northern Ireland:

GenderJam NI - Social support and advocacy for trans+ youth: www.genderjam.org.uk

Europe:

Transgender Europe (TGEU) - Campaigning and advocacy for trans+ rights across Europe: https://tgeu.org

Republic of Ireland:

Our neighbours in Ireland host some excellent organisations for the trans and non-binary communities, which may be valuable resources for students and colleagues resident in Northern Ireland, alongside those whose home country is the Republic of Ireland.

BeLonG To - Support, advocacy and social opportunity for LGB & trans+ youth: www.belongto.org

Transgender Equality Network for Ireland (TENI) - Advocacy and campaigns for trans+ rights: www.teni.ie

GenderEd.ie - Online resource for families of gender variant people in RoI: https://gendered.ie

Trans & Non-Binary Community Resources:

All About Trans - Media project transforming how the media understands and portrays trans people: http://www.allabouttrans.org.uk

Gender Construction Kit - Resources and information about everything from changing legal documents to names, pronouns and identities: http://genderkit.org.uk

Trans Unite - Online resource and directory of local and online support groups for trans and non-binary people in the UK: https://www.transunite.co.uk/

Tranzwiki - Directory of groups campaigning for, supporting, or assisting trans and gender diverse people: https://www.tranzwiki.net

Please note: TransEDU, and the individuals and institutions affiliated with TransEDU, are not responsible for the content of external links or external services / organisations. These resources are listed as a guide.

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Check out our support here at GenderGP. Here you’ll find the best suppoort that we have to offer for our clients and for education.

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Our Trans Hub is home to all of our content celebrating trans and non-binary people.

At Stonewall, we aim to raise awareness of the discrimination faced by the community worldwide. Check out the content below to learn more about the diverse lives of trans people in the UK and around the world.

Along with sharing trans peoples' stories far and wide, make sure to support campaigns and mutual aid networks, so that in future trans people can be more than simply visible - they can thrive.

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Our Trans Hub is home to all of our content celebrating trans and non-binary people. At Stonewall, we aim to raise awareness of the discrimination faced by the community worldwide. Check out the content below to learn more about the diverse lives of trans people in the UK and around...

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you're harming yourself

you're having thoughts about harming yourself

you're worried about minor injuries, such as small cuts or burns - without treatment there is a risk of infection

Some people who self-harm are at a higher risk of suicide.

It's important to get support or treatment as soon as possible to help with the underlying cause and prevent suicidal thoughts developing.

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Self-harm is when somebody intentionally damages or injures their body and is a sign of emotional distress. Support is available for anyone who self-harms or thinks about self-harm, as well as their friends and family.

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Read our tips on how you can support someone who self-harms - and how to look after yourself.

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anxiety
Do you want to stop hurting yourself? Learn about self-injury and how you can feel better without harming yourself.

What is self-harm?

Self-harm can be a way of dealing with deep distress and emotional pain. It may help you express feelings you can't put into words, distract you from your life, or release emotional pain. Afterwards, you probably feel better-at least for a little while. But then the painful feelings return, and you feel the urge to hurt yourself again.

Self-harm includes anything you do to intentionally injure yourself. Some of the more common ways include:

Cutting or severely scratching your skin

Burning or scalding yourself

Hitting yourself or banging your head

Punching things or throwing your body against walls and hard objects

Sticking objects into your skin

Intentionally preventing wounds from healing

Swallowing poisonous substances or inappropriate objects

Self-harm can also include less obvious ways of hurting yourself or putting yourself in danger, such as driving recklessly, binge drinking, taking too many drugs, or having unsafe sex.

Why people self-harm

Injuring yourself is often the only way you know how to:

Cope with feelings like sadness, self-loathing, emptiness, guilt, and rage

Express feelings you can't put into words or release the pain and tension you feel inside

Feel in control, relieve guilt, or punish yourself

Distract yourself from overwhelming emotions or difficult life circumstances

Make you feel alive, or simply feel something, instead of feeling numb

Whatever the reasons for self-harming, it's important to know that there is help available if you want to stop. You can learn other ways to cope with everything that's going on inside without having to hurt yourself.

Why people cut or self-harm: In your own words
"It puts a punctuation mark on what I'm feeling on the inside!" "It's a way to have control over my body because I can't control anything else in my life." "I usually feel like I have a black hole in the pit of my stomach, at least if I feel pain it's better than feeling nothing." "I feel relieved and less anxious after I cut. The emotional pain slowly slips away into the physical pain."
Consequences of cutting and self-harm

The relief that comes from cutting or self-harming is only temporary and creates far more problems than it solves.

Relief from cutting or self-harm is short lived, and is quickly followed by other feelings like shame and guilt. Meanwhile, it keeps you from learning more effective strategies for feeling better.

Keeping the secret of self-harm is difficult and lonely. Maybe you feel ashamed or maybe you just think that no one would understand. But hiding who you are and what you feel is a heavy burden. Ultimately, the secrecy and guilt affects your relationships with friends and family members and how you feel about yourself.

You can hurt yourself badly, even if you don't mean to. It's easy to end up with an infected wound or misjudge the depth of a cut, especially if you're also using drugs or alcohol.

You're at risk for bigger problems down the line. If you don't learn other ways to deal with emotional pain, you increase your risk of major depression, drug and alcohol addiction, and suicide.

Self-harm can become addictive. It may start off as an impulse or something you do to feel more in control, but soon it feels like the cutting or self-harming is controlling you. It often turns into a compulsive behavior that seems impossible to stop.

The bottom line is that cutting and self-harm won't help you with the issues that made you want to hurt yourself in the first place. No matter how lonely, worthless, or trapped you may be feeling right now, there are many other, more effective ways to overcome the underlying issues that drive your self-harm.

With over 25,000 licensed counselors, BetterHelp has a therapist that fits your needs. It's easy, affordable, and convenient.

Online-Therapy.com is a complete toolbox of support, when you need it, on your schedule. It only takes a few minutes to sign up.

Teen Counseling is an online therapy service for teens and young adults. Connect with your counselor by video, phone, or chat.

How to stop cutting and self-harm tip 1: Confide in someone

If you're ready to get help for cutting or self-harm, the first step is to confide in another person. It can be scary to talk about the very thing you have worked so hard to hide, but it can also be a huge relief to finally let go of your secret and share what you're going through.

Deciding whom you can trust with such personal information can be difficult. Choose someone who isn't going to gossip or try to take control of your recovery. Ask yourself who in your life makes you feel accepted and supported. It could be a friend, teacher, religious leader, counselor, or relative. But you don't necessarily have to choose someone you are close to. Sometimes it's easier to start by talking to someone you respect-such as a teacher, religious leader, or counselor-who has a little more distance from the situation and won't find it as difficult to be objective.

When talking about cutting or self-harming:

Focus on your feelings. Instead of sharing detailed accounts of your self-harm behavior focus on the feelings or situations that lead to it. This can help the person you're confiding in better understand where you're coming from. It also helps to let the person know why you're telling them. Do you want help or advice from them? Do you simply want another person to know so you can let go of the secret?

Communicate in whatever way you feel most comfortable. If you're too nervous to talk in person, consider starting off the conversation with an email, text, or letter (although it's important to eventually follow-up with a face-to-face conversation). Don't feel pressured into sharing things you're not ready to talk about. You don't have to show the person your injuries or answer any questions you don't feel comfortable answering.

Give the person time to process what you tell them. As difficult as it is for you to open up, it may also be difficult for the person you tell-especially if it's a close friend or family member. Sometimes, you may not like the way the person reacts. Try to remember that reactions such as shock, anger, and fear come out of concern for you. It may help to print out this article for the people you choose to tell. The better they understand cutting and self-harm, the better able they'll be to support you.

Talking about self-harm can be very stressful and bring up a lot of emotions. Don't be discouraged if the situation feels worse for a short time right after sharing your secret. It's uncomfortable to confront and change long-standing habits. But once you get past these initial challenges, you'll start to feel better.

Not sure where to turn?

If you're not sure where to turn, call the S.A.F.E. Alternatives information line in the U.S. at 1-800-366-8288 for referrals and support for cutting and self-harm. For helplines in other countries, see "Get more help" below.
In the middle of a crisis?
If you're feeling suicidal and need help right now, read Suicide Help or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline in the U.S. at 1-800-273-8255. For a suicide helpline outside the U.S., visit Befrienders Worldwide.

Tip 2: Identify your self-harm or cutting triggers

Understanding what triggers you to cut or self-harm is a vital step towards recovery. If you can figure out what function your self-injury serves, you can learn other ways to get those needs met-which in turn can reduce your desire to hurt yourself. Self-harm is most often a way of dealing with emotional pain. What feelings make you want to cut or hurt yourself? Sadness? Anxiety? Anger? Loneliness? Shame? Emptiness?

If you're having a hard time pinpointing the feelings that trigger your urge to cut, you may need to work on your emotional awareness. Emotional awareness means knowing what you are feeling and why. It's the ability to identify and express what you are feeling from moment to moment and to understand the connection between your feelings and your actions. Feelings are important pieces of information that our bodies give to us, but they do not have to result in actions like cutting or self-harming.

The idea of paying attention to your feelings-rather than numbing them or releasing them through self-harm-may sound frightening to you. You may be afraid that you'll get overwhelmed or be stuck with the pain. But the truth is that emotions quickly come and go if you let them. If you don't try to fight, judge, or beat yourself up over the feeling, you'll find that it soon fades, replaced by another emotion. It's only when you obsess over the feeling that it persists.

Tip 3: Find new coping techniques

Self-harm is your way of dealing with unpleasant feelings and difficult situations. If you're going to stop, you need to have alternative ways of coping so you can respond differently when you feel like cutting or hurting yourself.
If you self-harm to express pain and intense emotions, you could: If you self-harm to calm and soothe yourself, you could: If you self-harm because you feel disconnected or numb, you could: If you self-harm to release tension or vent anger, you could:
Substitutes for the cutting sensation

Use a red marker pen to draw on your skin where you might usually cut.

Rub ice cubes over your skin where you might usually cut.

Place rubber bands on your wrists, arms, or legs, and snap them instead of cutting.

Professional treatment for cutting and self-harm

The help and support of a trained professional can help you work to overcome the cutting or self-harming habit, so consider talking to a therapist. A therapist can help you develop new coping techniques and strategies to stop self-harming, while also helping you get to the root of why you hurt yourself.

Remember, self-harm doesn't occur in a vacuum. It exists in real life. It's an outward expression of inner pain-pain that often has its roots in early life. There is often a connection between self-harm and childhood trauma. Self-harm may be your way of coping with feelings related to past abuse, flashbacks, negative feelings about your body, or other traumatic memories-even if you're not consciously aware of the connection.

Finding the right therapist

Finding the right therapist may take some time. It's very important that the therapist you choose has experience treating both trauma and self-injury. But the quality of the relationship with your therapist is equally important. Trust your instincts. Your therapist should be someone who accepts self-harm without condoning it, and who is willing to help you work toward stopping it at your own pace. You should feel at ease, even while talking through your most personal issues.

Warning signs that a loved one is cutting or self-harming

While cutting and self-harming occurs most frequently in adolescents and young adults, it can happen at any age. Because clothing can hide physical injuries, and inner turmoil can be covered up by a seemingly calm disposition, self-injury in a friend or family member can be hard to detect. In any situation, you don't have to be sure that you know what's going on in order to reach out to someone you're worried about. However, there are red flags you can look for:

Unexplained wounds or scars from cuts, bruises, or burns, usually on the wrists, arms, thighs, or chest.

Blood stains on clothing, towels, or bedding; blood-soaked tissues.

Sharp objects or cutting instruments, such as razors, knives, needles, glass shards, or bottle caps, in the person's belongings.

Frequent "accidents." Someone who self-harms may claim to be clumsy or have many mishaps, in order to explain away injuries.

Covering up. A person who self-injures may insist on wearing long sleeves or long pants, even in hot weather.

Needing to be alone for long periods of time, especially in the bedroom or bathroom.

Isolation and irritability. Your loved one is experiencing a great deal of inner pain-as well as guilt at how they're trying to cope with it. This can cause them to withdraw and isolate themselves.

Understanding why your loved one cuts or self-harms

Because cutting and self-harm tend to be taboo subjects, many people harbor serious misunderstandings about their friend or family member's motivation or state of mind. Don't let these common myths get in the way of helping someone you care about.

Four myths about cutting and self-harm

Myth 1: People who cut and self-injure are trying to get attention.
Fact: The painful truth is that people who self-harm generally hurt themselves in secret. They aren't trying to manipulate others or draw attention to themselves. In fact, shame and fear can make it very difficult to come forward and ask for help.

Myth 2: People who self-injure are crazy and/or dangerous.
Fact: It is true that many people who self-harm suffer from anxiety, depression, eating disorders, or a previous trauma-just like millions of others in the general population. But that doesn't make them crazy or dangerous. Self-injury is how they cope. Sticking a label like "crazy" or "dangerous" on a person isn't accurate or helpful.

Myth 3: People who self-injure want to die.
Fact: When people self-harm, they are usually not trying to kill themselves-they are trying to cope with their problems and pain. In fact, self-injury may be a way of helping themselves go on living. However, there is always the risk of a more severe injury than intended and, in the long-term, people who self-injure have a much higher risk of suicide, which is why it's so important to seek help.

Myth 4: If the wounds aren't bad, it's not that serious.
Fact: The severity of a person's wounds has very little to do with how much they may be suffering. Don't assume that because the wounds or injuries are minor, there's nothing to worry about.

Helping someone who cuts or self-harms

Perhaps you've noticed suspicious injuries on someone close to you, or that person has admitted to you that they're cutting. Whatever the case, you may be feeling unsure of yourself. What should you say? How can you help?

Deal with your own feelings. You may feel shocked, confused, or even disgusted by self-harming behaviors-and guilty about admitting these feelings. Acknowledging your feelings is an important first step toward helping your loved one.

Learn about the problem. The best way to overcome any discomfort or distaste you feel about self-harm is by learning about it. Understanding why your loved one is self-injuring can help you see the world through their eyes.

Don't judge. Avoid judgmental comments and criticism-they'll only make things worse. Remember, the self-harming person already feels distressed, ashamed and alone.

Offer support, not ultimatums. It's only natural to want to help, but threats, punishments, and ultimatums are counterproductive. Express your concern and let the person know that you're available whenever they want to talk or need support.

Encourage communication. Encourage your loved one to express whatever they're feeling, even if it's something you might be uncomfortable with. If the person hasn't told you about the self-harm, bring up the subject in a caring, non-confrontational way: "I've noticed injuries on your body, and I want to understand what you're going through."

If the self-harmer is a family member, prepare yourself to address difficulties in the family. This is not about blame, but rather about communicating and dealing with problems in better ways that can benefit the whole family.

Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A., Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Lawrence Robinson, and Jennifer Shubin

References

Whitlock, J. (2010). Self-Injurious Behavior in Adolescents. PLOS Medicine, 7(5), e1000240. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000240

Whitlock, J., Muehlenkamp, J., Eckenrode, J., Purington, A., Abrams, G. B., Barreira, P., & Kress, V. (2013). Nonsuicidal Self-Injury as a Gateway to Suicide in Young Adults. Journal of Adolescent Health, 52(4), 486-492. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2012.09.010

Morgan, C., Webb, R. T., Carr, M. J., Kontopantelis, E., Green, J., Chew-Graham, C. A., Kapur, N., & Ashcroft, D. M. (2017). Incidence, clinical management, and mortality risk following self harm among children and adolescents: Cohort study in primary care. BMJ, 359, j4351. https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj.j4351

Aylett, E., Small, N., & Bower, P. (2018). Exercise in the treatment of clinical anxiety in general practice - a systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Health Services Research, 18(1), 559. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12913-018-3313-5

Conditions for Further Study. (2013). In Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. American Psychiatric Association. https://dsm.psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.5555/appi.books.9780890425596.ConditionsforFurtherStudy

Self-Harm - Includes treatment and things you can do to help yourself. (Royal College of Psychiatrists)

How Can I Stop Cutting? - Strategies for resisting the urge to cut. (TeensHealth)

How Can I Help a Friend Who Cuts? - Guide for teens who are concerned about a friend. (TeensHealth)

Hotlines and support

In the U.S.: S.A.F.E. Alternatives (Self-Abuse Finally Ends) - Organization dedicated to helping people who self-harm, with a helpline at 1-800-366-8288.

UK: Mind Infoline - Information on self-harm and a helpline to call at 0300 123 3393 or text 86463.

Canada: Kids Help Phone - A helpline for kids and teens to call for help with any issue, including cutting and self-injury at 1-800-668-6868.

Australia: Kids Helpline - A helpline for kids and young adults to get help with issues including cutting and self-harm. Call 1800 55 1800.

India: Helpline (India) - Provides information and support to those with mental health concerns in India. Call 1860 2662 345 or 1800 2333 330.

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anxiety Self-harm can be a way of dealing with deep distress and emotional pain. It may help you express feelings you can't put into words, distract you from your life, or release emotional pain. Afterwards, you probably feel better-at least for a little while.

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Supporting a child who self-harms

Offer them emotional support

Finding out that your child's been hurting themselves can be really hard to accept and it's natural to feel anxious or upset. Some parents might also blame themselves or feel powerless to help. But if you can, it's really important to try and stay calm and remember there are things you can do to support your child.

Focus on showing them that you're there whenever they choose to talk. Remember they may prefer to talk over text or WhatsApp rather than in person. If they do feel ready to talk, try to just listen and not ask too many questions about why they've been self-harming, so it doesn't seem like you're judging them.

Let them know that you care about them and that you want to help them find healthier ways to cope with difficult or upsetting feelings they're having. But that's it's okay for them to be honest with you about what they're going through.

Focus on what's causing the self-harm

Remember self-harm is often caused by an underlying problem, like depression or anxiety, or being bullied. It can be more helpful to focus on helping them with what's causing their feelings rather than on the self-harm itself.

You can help them to get support for a mental health problem, such as by talking to their GP, someone at their school or to Childline. It can also help to ask their GP about a referral to Child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS).

Sometimes hiding or taking away something a child is using to self-harm can lead to them finding other ways to hurt themselves. You could try asking your child what would be most helpful for them and ask them to tell you when they feel they want to hurt themselves.

Sometimes, it might be possible to come to an agreement where your child tells you when they've hurt themselves. It's important to make sure any injuries or cuts are cleaned and properly taken care of. Any serious injuries should be treated right away in a hospital.

Encourage them to find healthy ways to cope

Instead of simply asking a child to stop self-harming, it can be helpful to suggest something they could do instead to cope with difficult feelings.

Some things young people who've spoken to us have found helpful are:

paint, draw or scribble in red ink

hold an ice cube in your hand until it melts

write down your negative feelings then rip the paper up

wear an elastic band on your wrist and snap it every time you feel the urge to self-harm

listen to music

punching or screaming into a pillow

talk to friends or family

take a bath or shower

exercise

watch your favourite funny film.

Childline also has many more self-harm coping techniques for children and young people. The wall of expression game can also be a helpful way for young people to deal with difficult feelings.

Help them to build their confidence

Many children who self-harm suffer from low self-esteem or confidence. You can help by reminding them about the things they do well or help them to learn something new together, like playing guitar or making crafts.

You could write a list of all the things that make you proud of your child and that make them special, and giving it to them. Try to focus on things about their personality rather than things like their academic achievements.

Childline also has advice for children and young people on building their confidence and self-esteem.

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Being worried about a child who's self-harming can be really difficult. We've got advice to help you understand why children and teenagers self-harm, how to recognise the signs, and what you can do to support a young person who's struggling.

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Where to get help if you are having suicidal thoughts, and what to do if you are worried about someone else.

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Suicidal thoughts - How to support someone

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Suicidal thoughts - How to support someone

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Suicide is when someone purposely ends their own life. If you need information on suicide then you can start here.

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you are not able to speak to your local NHS urgent mental health helpline

you need help urgently for your mental health, but it's not an emergency

you're not sure what to do

111 will tell you the right place to get help if you need to see someone.

You may be able to speak to a nurse, or mental health nurse, over the phone.

A GP can advise you about helpful treatments and also help you access mental health services. You may be able to refer yourself to some services.

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Where to get urgent help for mental health

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You may need urgent help for mental health for many different reasons. Some people call it a crisis, an emergency or a breakdown. It's important to know that support is available, whatever you're going through.

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If you are concerned that you are developing a mental health problem you should seek the advice and support of your GP as a matter of priority. If you are thinking about ending your life, please call 999 (UK) or go to A&E and ask for the contact of the nearest crisis resolution team. These are teams of mental health care professionals who work with people in severe distress.

The Mental Health Foundation is a charity specialising in research and policy development, with a focus on preventing mental health problems. We are not able to advise people directly on their personal circumstances.

Advice about looking after your mental health during the coronavirus outbreak.

Below are details on services and organisations that offer help and support directly to people with mental health problems:

For support in a crisis, Text Shout to 85258.

If you're experiencing a personal crisis, are unable to cope and need support.

Shout can help with urgent issues such as:

Suicidal thoughts

Abuse or assault

Self-harm

Bullying

Relationship challenges

Anxiety UK was established in 1970 and is run by and for those with anxiety, offering an extensive range of support services designed to help support those affected by anxiety disorders, anxiety and anxiety-based depression.

Services available include:

Helpline services - 03444 775 774, open from 9:30am to 17:30pm Mon to Friday, along with a text service 07537 416905 and 'Ask Anxia' chatbot service, available 24/7 for all anxiety queries at anxietyuk.org.uk. See Helpline services for more information.

Anxiety UK also offer fast access to a range of psychological therapy services, including counselling, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), clinical hypnotherapy and Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, with appointments available in person, online and by telephone. See Therapy services for more information.

You can call the Rethink advice and information line Monday to Friday, 10am to 2pm for practical advice on:

different types of therapy and medication

benefits, debt, money issues

police, courts, prison

your rights under the Mental Health Act.

Call Rethink on 0300 5000 927 (calls are charged at your local rate).

The Mind infoline

Mind offer an information line to answer questions about:

types of mental health problem

where to get help

drug and alternative treatments

advocacy.

Call the Mind infoline on 0300 123 3393 (UK landline calls are charged at local rates, and charges from mobile phones will vary considerably). Or email .

The Mind Legal Advice service

If you need legal advice, you can speak to Mind about:

mental health

mental capacity

community care

human rights and discrimination/equality related to mental health issues.

Call the Mind Legal Advice service on 0300 466 6463 (UK landline calls are charged at local rates, and charges from mobile phones will vary considerably). Or email .

The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is leading a movement against suicide.

You can talk to CALM about anything.

Call the CALM helpline on 0800 58 58 58 or use their webchat here.

The helpline and webchat are both open 5pm to midnight, 365 days a year.

You may find it helpful to talk to your partner, a relative or a friend about your problems. They may be concerned about you and welcome the opportunity to hear what you have to say. If this is not possible, you may prefer to talk to someone else you can trust, like a faith leader or a tutor.

You can find out more about friendships and how to tell your friends on our friendships page.

Your GP may be the first person you talk to about your mental health problems. If you have a good relationship with your doctor, you may find it helpful just to know there is someone you can talk to about the feelings you are having. Your GP may refer you to specialist services if he/she feels they will help you. You can find information about talking to your GP about your mental health in our guide.

If you are unhappy with your own doctor, you can ask to see another doctor at the same practice or make an appointment with a different practice in your area. If you are unsure where to find other doctor's surgeries, look in your local Yellow Pages or try the NHS Choices website.

Specialist Mental Health Services

Most people recover from mental health problems without needing to go into hospital. There are a number of specialist services that provide various treatments, including counselling and other talking treatments. You may also need help with other aspects of your life - for example, claiming benefits or dealing with housing problems. Often these different services are coordinated by a community mental health team (CMHT).

CMHTs are usually based either at a hospital or a local community mental health centre. Some teams provide 24-hour services so that you can contact them in a crisis. If you are already in contact with a CMHT you may find it useful to keep their number by your phone in case you need it. Otherwise you should be able to contact your local CMHT via your local social services or social work team.

Other kinds of community mental health team include Crisis and Home Treatment teams, which provide you with help in your own home and can come out to see you in an emergency or help you get into hospital if you need inpatient treatment.

You may also find it helpful to contact your nearest Citizens Advice Bureau for advice about benefits, debt problems, legal issues and local services. The Citizens Advice Bureau website has a directory listing its local offices.

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If you are concerned that you are developing a mental health problem you should seek the advice and support of your GP as a matter of priority. If you are thinking about ending your life, please call 999 (UK) or go to A&E and ask for the contact of the nearest crisis resolution team.

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All Independent Visitors now have access to our NCT iLearn portal - here you can gain access to a wide range of Elearning to support your role as an IV.

NEW:

Safeguarding – Everyone’s Responsibility (NCT) Elearning module will be mandatory as part of your IV training. Link for this can be found below

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Trauma Informed mindset

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with communication

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Childhood Trauma and the Brain | UK Trauma Council

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Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

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Understanding Language for Trauma-Informed Practice and Adverse Childhood Experiences

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Understanding Language for Trauma-Informed Practice and Adverse Childhood Experiences