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Hey Niya!! A strength of your informational presentation is in how you made your presentation colorful so the reader could be motivated to keep reading and to know more about Kendra Scott. In addition, I liked how you showed the reader that without something shining on us would make us bored and sad, but with it you made us feel like we were shining. However, I don’t have anything that you  should change because your presentation was perfect!

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Hey niya! I really enjoyed reading your slides. My first star is that you decorated the slides very well. My second star is about you hook. When you said ‘Imagine a life with now shimmer or shine just solid colors with no creative bling’ thats what got me hooked. You did a fantastic job on your hook. A wish i had is that maybe you could’ve added different picture of other things that they make on the business.

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Hey niyniy! I really liked how you used a lot of different transitions words, my favorite was “To expand more clearly” I also love how in both of your explanations you explained it very good for the reader to understand, especially at the part “This supports the theme because it shows how the little bird's horrible actions impacted the big bird and his emotions toward making friends. As an individual progresses through life, they should incorporate this lesson in life because it can benefit their future and life. Many tend to not see bullying as such a big deal since society has grown into not a great place and people have just been accepting and moving on from one another’s problems.” Overall, your timed piece was amazing and it showed the true meaning of the pixar short, i think it was a perfect piece.

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Hi Niya! I really liked your claim sentence, for I felt it matched well with the Pixar clip, and it made sense. I also liked your  explanations for they explained your evidence well, and made the evidence easier to understand. I do suggest you try to be more clear with it, and be more descriptive.

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Hey Niya! A strength for your analysis paragraph, “Cruising through life problems” is all of the unique work you did. In particular, I enjoyed reading your analysis because of how you made your evidence longer and made it ve kind of stronger. In addition, I like how you were trying to make your analysis paragraph be understandable and help the reader with more evidence. Overall, a suggestion that I can offer is to improve more in your transition words.

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Hi Ni Ni potato pie! A strength of your piece was your transition words. I liked how you used a variety of them and not just the same ones. I specifically liked, “To explain more precisely.” Another strength was your sum up. I really liked how you tied it all together, when you said, “the noticeable message in Piper is..” Something you could improve on is being more descriptive with your evidence.

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Hey Nina! I really liked your writing piece i thought you did a really good job on it. I loved your translation words you used and though they were cool. I also think your explained everything really good and it was all clear and understandable. Overall you did a really good job with your paragraph!

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Hi Niy niy! I really liked how you made your explanations long, as well as descriptive. I think you did really well with your explanations. To add on to that I also really liked how you restate your claim in your sum it up sentence and didn’t just directly copy your claim. However, something I think you could fix is in your first evidence you forgot to put a space between your comma and the beginning of your sentence. Overall I think you did really well.

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hi, niya i really like how you put “without a doubt,the Pixar short piper. Includes a cereal theme about the beneficial point of never giving up on something just because its problematic along the way” this is a great part in your paragraph. Secondly o rarely like how you worded your second explanation it was very enjoyable to read and shows what you want to say in a great way. I wish that you would have put a little more detail into your explanations because that will pull your hole piece together.

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Hi niya. One star THAT I HAD FOR YOU WAS THAT I REALLY liked your attention to detail through your writing. One other thing that i liked was that when you said “Many rocky parts in life bring people down but those rocky moments can also be stepping stones to new opportunities.”this I thought really added details about the story. However, one wish that I had for you was that sometimes your grammar and spelling to be a little confusing but besides that I thought the piece was amazing.

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Hey, i think that you did i amazing you had good dental. However your word choice was not very creative. You used the same word a couple times. However you had a good theme and it matched with the Pixar short.  Overall i think you did good

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Hello Niya! One star I think you did well was choosing a good theme for your Pixar Short “Piper”. I also think you did well in choosing good transition words for you essay. But one thing I think you need to improve on is expanding more in some parts in you essay.

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Hi Niya, a strength in your writing piece was your explanations, they did an amazing, and detailed job of describing your evidence. The explanations brought the entire piece together. Another strength was your evidence. It perfectly fits your theme, great job. The only thing I would do differently is add better word choice.

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Hi Niya. One star that I had for you was that I really liked how you in the begging had very good discripshon with panting a   for the readers. One other star that I had for you was in the last paragraph. I really liked that you said “ continue if we don’t stop this as soon as we can”. This stood  out to me because it shows that there is really hope on how to fix the problem. One wish that I had was to add a little more detail in some spots but overall I loved it.

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Hi Niya I really liked your essay you did really good on it!!-lex

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niya i really like your conclusion paragraph and how it says “in the future,if people start to take control of this devastating but true issue students will start to experience the true feeling of the school”. This was a strong sentence.i also like you zinger it was a good way to end off your conclusion paragraph.i wish that you should put more detail in to your 3 cees paragraph making it more interesting.

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Hi Niya, something that you did amazingly was your compelling, and hooking anecdotes. They were so realistic and pushed me to be on your side and see the topic from your point of view. Another strength in your essay was your conclusion. It wrapped up your piece in the best way possible. The only thing that you could improve on for  next time was your sum it up sentences. But overall an amazing essay.

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hi, niya a strength of you essay. For being for classroom pets, is the the details you added. I also like How you painted a picture.

I also really like you anecdote about how the little boy was lonely because he had no one.

I think you could have added a little more information like when the kid was lonely because he had no one and no pets/animals. I don’t have a lot to say great job

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Hey Niya! A strength of your essay named, “.            “ is that I loved your anecdotes. I was drawn in as soon as I started reading! I felt the guiltiness for others, and instantly took your sides. As you go on, I’m able to picture everything that’s happening, like the scene. In addition to that, I really enjoyed your intro paragraph! I liked the “Unfortunately, this is many teens’ daily lives.” I 100% agree with that! However, I think you could’ve worked on expanding your vocabulary. I noticed you use the same few words multiple times, but other than that, your essays are great!

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Something you did well was your hook! I also loved what you did with the story. Great narrative!

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I like how you put the time of accent that she was speaking in so it was easier to understanding what that person was feeling at that moment.I also like how you put detail into the part about when you saw the shoes and how you thought they looked to you because someone may not see them that way.I like the way you said how you did not notice that there was a store until you saw it for the first time.I like the part where you said that I can’t believe that I just did that when she was on the truck trying to pull herself up on to the top of the truck.I wish you put more flow in to the writing in stead of I did not like those shoes thy where crusty rusty shoes.

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One strength of your narrative “The Annoying Day” was how you were able to describe each part of your narrative very vividly, and let me picture what was going on. Another strength was how you were able to develop both your main character and the shoes with a lot of description. For example, when your character got worried after she encountered the lady with the British accent it was able to give me a hint of her personality. I have nothing bad to say about your narrative.

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One strength of your narrative “The Annoying Day” was how you were able to describe each part of your narrative very vividly, and let me picture what was going on. Another strength was how you were able to develop both your main character and the shoes with a lot of description. For example, when your character got worried after she encountered the lady with the British accent it was able to give me a hint of her personality. I have nothing bad to say about your narrative.

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hey niya, I think that you had a really good hook.

I think you also had a nice ending and you did not end in the end.

I thought you did really well and I could tell that you tried in your story.

I like the idea of the story as well.

I thought it was cool and creepy. It was decently creepy because she

fell off a truck and an old man took her.

I was also kind of nervous e until the parents found her.

I loved your story overall but i thin k you could have added more figurative language.

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a star is that i really liked your hook/beginning. You really hooked me on it and when I started reading i was really interested in your story and wanted to keep reading and find out what was going to happen to her. I also really injoyed reading your ending you put a lot of detail in it and ended the. story well. One thing i think you could of done better was diolog. I think that you could of added more to the story and talked to more people or just talked more.

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I thought you added a lot of detail and had a lot of good inner thought in your memoir

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One Thing i liked was how you said a breeze in you ear wish.  I really liked that i through it made the begging cool and set the seen. One other thing i liked was all of the details and small things you added.one thing i think ou. Could change is how long it was and the ending. 

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One Thing i liked was how you said a breeze in you ear wish.  I really liked that i through it made the begging cool and set the seen. One other thing i liked was all of the details and small things you added.one thing i think ou. Could change is how long it was and the ending. 

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I liked how you said it was only 5 seconds long but it felt way longer. You had a lot of thoughts and you succeed. I knew you were at a soccer game and you made it so I would now that when reading your memoir. You put into dental on how you were scared you weren’t going to make it so it was either  you kick it or you pass it to someone else. But although I knew where you were/ what you were doing I couldn’t tell if you were at one place in the Soccer match or another place.

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Your piece was inspiring, and I definitely related to it. I loved how many inner thoughts you used, and i was able to figure out how you were feeling from that. I also liked once you got to the part of you not knowing when to pass or score, I’ve been in that situation before. However, I do think you could add more metaphors. I didn’t see any in there and I thought it could help in the story! By the way, your background startled me cause I didn’t realize it changed pictures. I thought my iPad was glitching or something.