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Elementary Learning at a Jewish Hebrew Day School

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Elementary Learning at a Jewish Hebrew Day School

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I struggled with reading until third grade. I had no real love for it, until I read Harry Potter. But at my 100% Jewish school, the expectations were high. Failure was never an option. And in general, I enjoyed that pressure. I wanted to get everything right, to know that I got the one right answer. Everything was very black and white, which is what drew me to math. I loved the feeling of getting the answer right after puzzling over a question.

Surprisingly, I still enjoyed writing. I would write short fiction stories for class whenever I could. In complete honesty, I wasn't a very good writer. My writing was cliche and I had a hard time translating my ideas into coherent sentences that logically flowed together. But I enjoyed it, which meant that I never worried if I was good or bad.

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High School Learning at a Private School for "Smart" Kids

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High School Learning at a Private School for "Smart" Kids

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At The College Preparatory School, I lost my identity as a smart kid. Sure, I still considered myself to be an intelligent human being, but compared to some of the other students at my school, I was simply average. This was a huge blow to my identity. But at College Prep I continued to have teachers who acted as mirrors for me. I was still shown that I could succeed, whether being invited to join the Jazz Combo or getting to start on the Varsity Soccer team. My teachers loved me because I was eager to please and I didn't read as threatening because of my identities.

Additionally, my family was able to afford to send me to this school (or at least my grandparents could afford to do so). I knew I learned best in school environments where everyone was focused, and my family was able to essentially buy a positive learning environment for me.

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Middle School Learning at a Public School

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Middle School Learning at a Public School

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At King Middle School, I built my identity as the smart kid. I wanted to race as quickly through the work as possible to show how easy it was. As a White student, my teachers happily encouraged my view of myself as smart and they supported me constantly through my journey. I was perceived as a smart white woman, which meant I could get away with a lot of not great behavior in seventh and eighth grade. I helped my classmates avoid learning material by developing systems for acing the checkpoints. I would openly show the teacher my disdain for the pacing of our class by not attempting to hide that I was reading a different book than everyone else. But I never got in trouble. Because I was a nice, smart, Jewish, White girl.

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In general, my identity as a Jewish person doesn't affect my ability to engage in schooling. Except when the holidays roll around.

1) For Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, I almost always have to miss class, unless the holidays fall on the weekend. In New York, schools have the High Holidays off because so many students are absent. I expect I'll be missing class this year too.

2) Christmas. Oy vey. One time, my music instructor asked us to play Christmas songs by ear. She told us the names of the songs and asked us to practice. The first song, Jingle Bells, was familiar to me. But the other two were a complete mystery. My sax partner was also Jewish. I can recall us looking at each other as everyone else started playing the songs. We just sat there, pretending to play. I remember wanting to cry because I felt like I had failed (despite there being zero stakes).

3) Valentine's Day. My family does not celebrate it at all. But there is an expectation for me to be excited about it, make cards, make cookies. I usually forget that it is happening.