# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

"He kissed those enticing lips—they could not kiss him back; he caressed her hands, her face—they were unresponsive; he took her in his arms—she remained a cold and passive form."

Techniques:

Asyndeton (the dashes, commas, and semicolons are used in place of connecting words and help create a tone of desperation by placing everything desperate Pygmalion tries to do to the statue in one sentence without transitions or connections between each phrase/clause)

Anaphora (the repetition of "he" at the start of each clause help convey the meaning that Pygmalion is the active player in this myth)

Juxtaposition (the contrast between Pygmalion's desperate actions and the statue's passive lack of response is developed with contrasting words/phrases like "kissed" and "could not kiss")

Word Choice:

"enticing" implies Pygmalion sees the statue not as a real woman but as an object to be desired ("enticing" is usually used to describe objects, like food, i.e., "the enticingly purple grape")

"cold" implies the statue is both physically and emotionally cold (like an ice queen) despite Pygmalion's desperate advances

Weak Sentence:

"Either he could not dismiss what he so disapproved of from his mind as easily as from his life, or else he was bent on forming a perfect woman and showing men the deficiencies of the kind they had to put up with."

Why it is weak:

The word choice isn't as strong as in the rest of the myth. It isn't super clear what Hamilton is trying to say. The ideas all flow together mushily, making it feel like a run-on sentence even though it is properly punctuated.

Rewrite:

Questions about Pygmalion's motives for forming the quintessentially statuesque woman persist. Perhaps his hatred for women in his real life failed to dampen his predilection for idealizing the female form. Or perhaps he hoped to illustrate, for all mankind, the imperfections in women he felt all men were forced to endure.

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:

Quote

Techniques:

Word Choice:

Weak Sentence:

Quote

Why it is weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong sentences:
"...Hope. It was the only good the casket had held among the many evils, and it remains to this day mankind’s sole comfort in misfortune."
Techniques:
-The author uses juxtaposition when he said "only good the casket had held among the many evils". This is enforced when the author creates contrast by stating that hope is a good thing, but also comparing it to the other many evils of the world.

Word Choice:
- "evil" shows how big of a negative impact to release of the demons had on mankind.
-"Comfort" is more referencing what could have been, and not what actually is. Comfort is usually associated with everything good and happy; whereas not it is a representation of hope and anything that is left of good in a sea of bad.

Weak Sentence:

Why is it weak

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence
Quote: "Prometheus, who's name means forethought, is very wise, wiser even then the gods, but Epimethius, witch means afterthought, was a scatterbrained person, who follow his impulse, then inevitably changed his mind" (Hamilton 86).
Techniques: Loose Sentence , Polyptoton,
Edith Hamilton uses Polyptoton to show how wise Prometheus is, and to emphasis the extent of his foresight.
Our author uses Loose Sentence to accurately describe the happenings of the story.
Word Choice:
1) Scatterbrained- This word has a connotation of being unorganized, and of negative impact on thoughts
2) Impulse- This enlightens us upon Epimethius' personality, and and his actions involving Prometheus
Week Sentence: "According to another story, the gods themselves created man" (Hamilton 86).
This is a simple sentence, with minimal description in it, sticking out like a sore thumb in this text, where all other sentences are long and complex, with multiple clauses and subjects.
Revised: "Another myth states that the gods, rather than Prometheus, created man."

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:
Quote: "Before making men he gave all the best gifts to the animals, strength and swiftness and courage and shrewd cunning, fur and feathers and wings and shells and the like—until no good was left for men, no protective covering and no quality to make them a match for the beasts" (Hamilton, 86).

Techniques: Consonance (Strength and swiftness, courage and shrewd cunning, fur and feathers, wings and shells), Periodic Sentence (after the author explains all the good things, the after thought is that there is nothing left for man kind), Dashes (and the like- until no good....)

Word Choice: Protective covering (implies a need for something greater than themselves, or something to hide behind) , shrewd cunning ( a gift rather than a given, gives it more of a formality)

Weak Sentence:
Quote: "In terror Pandora clapped the lid down, but too late" (Hamilton, 88).

Why it is weak: It's an important part of the story, but is explained in a dry and short manor, not emphasizing the true terror Pandora felt in that moment.

Rewrite: In a flash of bright white terror, the darkness around her filled the air as she desperately tried to clap the lid down, but it was to late.

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence: "He kissed those enticing lips—they could not kiss him back; he caressed her hands, her face—they were unresponsive; he took her in his arms—she remained a cold and passive form."
Techniques:
Dashes: Offers a proper transition into results of Polyphemus' different methods of contact with the statue.
Repetition: The author repeats the condition of the statue in order to further the readers knowledge of Polyphemus' desperation.
Word Choice:
Enticing- captures the captivation of the statue to man.
Passive- Makes the state of the statue feel as a loss, even though she was never really a woman in the first place.
Weak Sentence: "But lovely as it was he could not rest content."
Why its Weak: It is extremely brief, and lacks any detail necessary to the furthering of the story.
Rewrite: But as captivating as it was, he could not rest content; her touch lacked the warmth and emotion of human touch.

# data[].attributes.body
Strong sentence
Quote:  He kissed those enticing butt lips—they could not kiss him back; he caressed her hands, her face—they were unresponsive; he took her in his arms—she remained a cold and passive form.
Techniques:

Weak Sentence
Quote
Why is it weak?
Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:
Quote: He kissed those enticing lips- they could not kiss him back; he caressed her hands, her face- they were unresponsive; he took her in his arms- she remained a cold and passive form. For a time he tried to pretend, as children do with their toys.

Techniques: Dashes, Asyndeton

Word Choice: Toys, cold, pretend

Weak Sentence:
Quote

Why it's weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence :
Quote:
"From her, the first woman, comes the race of women, who are an evil to men, with a nature to do evil. "
Techniques:
Anaphora: Evil woman is repeated
Word Choice:
Using the words evil and woman it shows how much Zeus wanted revenge on man kind with Pandora even though she didn't do anything to be used that way. jhh
Weak Sentence:
Why it's weak:

Rewrite:

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence:
"However that was, he labored long and devotedly on the statue and produced a most exquisite work of art. But lovely as it was he could not rest content. He kept on working at it and daily under his skillful fingers it grew more beautiful. No woman ever born, no statue ever made, could approach it."
Techniques:
Consonance - repetition of "L", forces you to see the words labored, long, devotedly, lovely, daily, skillful, beautiful
Repetition - of the word "no" in the last sentence
Word Choice:
"exquisite" is usually used for objects (ex: exquisite food)
"labored" - people usually labor on things or jobs, not people
Weak Sentence:
"The feast day of Venus was, of course, especially honored in Cyprus, the island which first received the goddess after she rose from the foam."
Why it's weak:
Sort of hard to follow and doesn't emphasis the importance of her arrival
Rewrite:
The feast day of Venus was especially honored in Cyprus. It was, after all, the island which first received the goddess of love after she rose from the foamy sea.

# data[].attributes.body
Strong Sentence: "Before making men he gave all the best gifts to the animals, strength and swiftness and courage and shrewd cunning, fur and feathers and wings and shells and the like—until no good was left for men, no protective covering and no quality to make them a match for the beasts."

Techniques:
Anaphora: The word "no" is repeated with each clause after the dash, which emphasizes the disparity to mankind that Epimethius caused when compared to the other animals.
Polysyndeton: In the beginning of the sentence, the conjunction "and" is used when describing the animal traits, and demonstrates the qualities that were given to the animals instead of the men, and the disadvantage that Epimethius put men at.
Dashes: The ending phrase is separated from the rest of the sentence with a dash, and works to clarify the difference between animals and mankind.

Word Choice:
The word "beasts"  implies that the animals that Epimethius created were more of a disgrace, especially to mankind, than any of the gods or titans predicted.

Weak Sentence: "He swore to be revenged, on mankind first and then on mankind’s friend."