# data[].attributes.body
You should add some dialogue.

# data[].attributes.body
a little more suspense

# data[].attributes.headline
More internal gesture and replace AWESOME and EXCITED

# data[].attributes.subject
More internal gesture and replace AWESOME and EXCITED

# data[].attributes.body
they could have used more description.

# data[].attributes.body
He used a lot of description and adjectives

# data[].attributes.headline
I think you could have explained what your food was, who your family was, and what your 'awesome new shoes' looked like.

# data[].attributes.subject
I think you could have explained what your food was, who your family was, and what your 'awesome new shoes' looked like.

# data[].attributes.body
add more internal gesture and better adjective. Also slow it down.

# data[].attributes.body
I think you should have instead of just describing your shoes with awesome isn't that good because you can't see awesome and you should describe it more.

# data[].attributes.body
You might want to use words that describe more on what "Awesome" and "Excited" means, go more in depth of what this means.

# data[].attributes.body
You have great suspense in your writing. However, you don't really describe your new shoes or your delicious food.

# data[].attributes.body
I like how you used chronological order

# data[].attributes.body
I like the way you told us the the shoes are awesome but, nexttime put more despriction

# data[].attributes.body
I like how the person said "Excitedly,  I took my first bite", instead of saying "I took my first bite excitedly", but  maybe he could use more stronger detail

# data[].attributes.body
I like how you were clear and used exitedly, but you need to use adjectives that describe better, unlike awesome and cool.

# data[].attributes.body
Maybe you could add some more internal gesture.

# data[].attributes.body
Instead of telling us the shoes are awesome show us how they're awesome.

# data[].attributes.body
I think you should show us what awesome means

# data[].attributes.body
Next time, I would like you to add more description

# data[].attributes.body
I think that the author should have used more detail and not just say, " I put some delicious food on my plate, " the author should describe how it felt when she ate it.

# data[].attributes.body
I like the way that you made it flow a little bit. However, it did sound a little repetitive with using I so many times. Also, you might want a little more internal gesture and definitely a lead.

# data[].attributes.body
I

# data[].attributes.body
I think they should have used more description by using more interesting words

# data[].attributes.body
I might say that he described the character's possessions really well and used a lot of adjectives.

# data[].attributes.body
I like your use of SOME adjectives, but I think you could have come up with more descriptive words, and you could have slowed it down a little more.

# data[].attributes.headline
What constructive feedback might you give the author who wrote this? 

# data[].attributes.subject
What constructive feedback might you give the author who wrote this? 