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in my family, women share the secrets and be unity. the father is usually the outsider. (not seen wholeness as important). This led to the lack of openness of communication that father usually doesn't know what we really want if we refer one things as 'secret', cause misunderstanding and argument between.

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From Antonia: So interesting, Haodong! Interesting that you only do it in private. Is this because in public it would not be 'allowed'?

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From Antonia: As I mentioned, in my family the roles between parents and children were very clear (> 'complex relationships'): the parents on one side, the children on the other. There were also 'triangulation' of roles (e.g. my brother and I against my older sister...). Communication was characterised by openness, but only to a degree (e.g. certain topics were never talked about). Communication routines were very important (e.g. specific routines towards the older relatives that had to be respected).

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When I chat privately with my dad, I'm used to calling him by his first name. Because we are all tired of the cumbersome family etiquette in the family.   -haodong

for example： We are not accustomed to following the command of the elders to the younger.
If l don't listen to them, it means I take unrespect

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You are going to talk about your family.
Look at the different ‘parts’ of family as a system (p. 10 'interdependence', 'wholeness' etc): which one(s) apply more and/or less to your family, how and why?

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Belief number 4 is important. Our family is an important support system in life and without communicating, we cannot support and understand one another.

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2. We think the communication based points are most important - such as 3,4 & 8. Also number 1 is important - we agree that there is no, one, perfect way to be a family

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We think role lens is the most important/relevant to us. Because we all believe that family can be formed without biological relations. Emotional connection is important for a family.

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role is the most important, it is what people perceived as family. the second is the sociolegal, the third is the biogenetic lens

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From Antonia: Can you please discuss amongst yourselves which of these lenses would be more important for you?

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From Antonia (Nina): Can we really look at family through a broad lens of gender? Yes, gender is certainly important as one factor but as an overall framework?

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The core beliefs seem to all be interrelated. The belief we find most important is number 2: Each family must work, and at times struggle, to create its own identity as it experiences good and stressful times over many years. All family systems are influenced by the larger context in which they exist.

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3 lenses
1）religion
2）gender， role
3）language

most important：role is the most important part of the family,The roles make up the composition of the family

the second is religion， Religious beliefs determine family values

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1) Role lens
2) socio-legal lens
3) biogenetic lens

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1. three lenses are role lens, sociolegal lens, and biogenetic lens

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What are the three main lenses through which we can look at a family? Which one(s) do you consider more important/relevant, and why?

 Look in group at the ‘core beliefs about a family’ (p. 4): which ones are more important/relevant to you, and why?

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Please, look in group at the ‘core beliefs about a family’ (p. 4): which ones are more important/relevant to you, and why?  

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Please, look in group at the ‘core beliefs about a family’ (p. 4): which ones are more important/relevant to you, and why?  