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Sindiya M Option A: A difficult feedback conversation you’ve had that didn’t go as well as you’d hoped

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Sindiya M Option A: A difficult feedback conversation you’ve had that didn’t go as well as you’d hoped

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Difficulties begin at conflicting work targets and deadlines. One of the conversations I had with my manager was expressing my thoughts on how the work was done(as per the company, and guidelines that I received from senior staff) My manager did not want to accept that I have been doing the work told as per the guidelines, she chose to lash out on me harshly with words and taunt me with words that made me feel weak.  No matter how much I tried to express my thoughts, she did not want to listen as she was adamant in her belief, that I am wrong. It is hard to convince people, once they already have a set of beliefs

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At my previous job, I was working with a group of 500 + agents. As the Executive to the Regional Manager, I would take care of the needs of agents. With 500 + agents needs to attend to, this comes with various of different personalities. I had to have a difficult conversation with a Agent who used very inappropriate language (harassment). The first step, was to address this with my Regional Manager and I was told to let it go. After multiple attempts to ask for this person to be spoken to, I felt the need to address this myself as an individual. It did not go as well as I hoped, as the harassment did not stop. This was difficult as my previous employer did not take harassment as seriously as I hoped they would. I ended up leaving this employer after 5 years for another opportunity.

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In a previous role, I had taken over a position in a new department and the person I was to supervise was previously in this role.

What I did not realize at first is that when she was in the role it was at a lower pay band. When I started the position, I could feel that I walked into a very tense environment. This person was very bitter and resentful to the department. She was not very forthcoming with any work-related information and would not take any delegation of tasks or feedback well. She challenged me every day and with every task.

After several weeks of me dealing with her pushback. I finally decided to stop avoiding the situation and had an open and honest conversation with her about my desire to ensure that we had a good working relationship that was based on mutual respect, understanding and communication. This led to her opening about the reasons for her negative behaviour and attitude. We had a very productive conversation and from there on we began to work as a team and created a positive environment.

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This conversation was from a past working experience supporting an executive at a fast-growing company. This conversation ultimately led to me choosing to leave the company. I was uncomfortable with the leadership style of the individual I was supporting. Unfortunately, his style was reinforced by the company's overall culture. He chose to lead his department by fear. He consistently reprimanded team members publicly and made others feel shame through jokes and mockery. He often acted with a short fuse, and it was hard to tell what mood he would be in from day to day. I ultimately knew that our working relationship would fail if I did not feel emotionally safe around him. So, I gathered my courage to approach him about his leadership style. Unfortunately, the conversation was not as fruitful as I had hoped. He felt attacked and said that he didn't see himself changing, so it was up to me if I wanted to continue supporting him. I wish I could go back in time to help cultivate a better atmosphere for the conversation. Perhaps if I had more tools to help express my concern, it would have been more positive, but it's hard to tell!

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In my previous position I was dealing with a coworker who was consistently not meeting deadlines which severely impacted not only my work but the companies work flow. I had mentioned it to my manager at the time who let me know that there were other priorities on their plate and that I would need to deal with this issue myself.

As I had recently taken some HR courses I felt like this was a great opportunity to incorporate learned knowledge into real world scenario. After role playing I decided to invite the coworker out to lunch to have the difficult conversation. Unfortunately in this public setting they reacted rather poorly. In hindsight I should have booked a private meeting somewhere within the workplace and working hours.

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In a prior role, a contractor who was tasked with taking videos was consistently late and did not communicate with clients or the team about being late.  The contractor had a personal relationship with the owner.  I opened the meeting to address the issues by asking them for their take on the situation and asking them to help brainstorm potential solutions but they got very defensive and walked out of the meeting. They ultimately ended up resigning.

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With the implementation of a new software, I had to work with a colleague that was hired to manage the rollout. I was involved with parts of the training and testing process. When I provided input on the changes and what I did not find was efficient with the system, it was suggested that I was not open to changes. I felt they were making me sound difficult and unwilling to put in the effort to learn the new system. I had spoken up because of my experience in this specific area. I felt my comments should have been taken into consideration, and instead, were disregarded. After not being understood, I did not see the point in sharing my opinion.

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I recently had an interview for a position that did not go well. When it was over I  immediately realized that I had not been confident enough in my skills and abilities to clearly show how I was suited for the new role. When the hiring Manager told me that they had chosen my coworker instead I took the feedback very personally rather than listening to what the Manager was saying. I also gave myself excuses for not being prepared. I was very disappointed and likely overreacted.

After taking some time to really think about the interview, the original feedback, and then a second meeting with the Manager to get more feedback, I was able to understand what types of answers they were looking for. I knew going in that I did not have some of the experience the job required and I focused on what I did not have instead of what I could bring to the role. I also did not realize that I had experience in my personal life that could be applied.

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In a previous organization I worked in, the sales team experienced a lack of job security due to  unforgiving performance policies, so there was some (un)healthy competition within the team, as well as fear and blame. After some months as a new admin hire with fresh eyes, I observed some some system failures that if fixed, would improve the way things were done and reduce or eliminate the negativity. However, when I brought it up, I was told that it was not my problem. Reading this  handout has let me see how I should have broached the subject with the team lead for a better outcome.

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A co-worker confided in me saying that they were having issues with their people leader and that they had received a bad year-end review. I knew this people leader very well and felt like I was trapped....I did not know how to answer and told them to speak with HR. After our conversation, I kept thinking about it and wondered if I should have handle it better...could I have said something more...did I say too much? I have never followed-up as I did not want to have to bring up the subject again.

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There is another manager that I work alongside and he handles the tech operations at the company while I handle the finance and business operations. I have been in my current role for over two years now, so I am well versed on how and who to follow up with on outstanding invoices. He has taken it upon himself to make sure we get paid by a specific vendor that he is also working with on the tech side even though he wasn't asked to get involved. He has been told to focus on the tech side of things while I handle the finances, but he wants to have a touch on all aspects of the business. I'm hesitant to speak with him directly about this as I know he means well and I want a respectful and collaborative working relationship between us, but I need to determine the best course of action to let him know not to overstep when it comes to roles and responsibilities.

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When I was hired at one of the company, I was replacing the previous Exec Admin as she was talking a role within the department (as her next move). The lady was not welcoming at all, I got the worst kind of handover from her (she was done in a week and lol – I took a month explaining everything to my replacement admins in my previous company). If a person is leaving the organisation, I understand the handover you get is not the best one but never ever thought that an existing member of the extended team (Ex Admin) would not help me in ramping up into the role.

If I reached out for help, she sometimes used to tell me that she was busy or sometime use to question me, if I have looked the site carefully to find that information. All in all, I had a lot of issues in approaching her. After some time, I decided not to seek any help from her. I struggled a lot initially (cried was well) and had to do a lot of learning myself. Reached out to other departmental admins and other team members for support and I learned my role. :)

I never confronted her or took the issue to my manager because I had made up my mind that I must work and learn my role myself or through other people and think that she was never ever here for any support (as if she has left the organisation when I joined).

There were many reasons why I avoided the conversation with her or my manager. I was a new hire and dint want to come across as a complaining\aggressive\confrontational employee (and that's not me) and I knew, the conversation with the lady would not take me anywhere and I am very happy, I approached this situation with an open mind and with a growth mindset.

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In my previous role, i had a manager who was completely unsympathetic to working mothers. After returning from maternity leave, i was taking a lot of time off due to my son being sick (yay for daycare) and she had put me on an attendance plan due to taking to much time off to take care of my son. When it came time for my performance review that year i spoke up about my displeasure of her treatment and I was ready with a list of everything that i had accomplished during the year despite having to care for my sick child. That conversation opened up her eyes and she then starting treating me different and was less "annoyed" when i had to take time off. I am a very timid person and having tough conversations gives me a lot of anxiety in fear of not getting the message across properly. It is definitely a work in progress.

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The most difficult one was actually in a past job interview. Unfortunately I did not get the job. But trying to learn and get better in interviewing, I wrote an email to the recruiter asking them what I did wrong, why they did not choose me for the job and had a meeting with them. I was told that they wish they would've heard from me on a more personal level as who I am and not only about my experience, education and qualifications. They wanted me to share details about my life, who I am as a person, get to know me on a personal level more then professional. As you can imagine I was quite surprise as in the past your professional experience, education work related examples are usually what employers want to hear. You develop a relationship with your coworkers overtime about your personal life but not to expose or start talking about my personal life over an interview. I kept that feedback with me, and looking back now I can see how incorporating examples of your personal life within a job interview might have a positive impact without revealing too much. You can just imagine how shock I was at first to get that response, especially that I am a very private person when it comes to my life/family.

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I was delegated to represent my boss in an approval meeting with internal partners regarding a project we'd both worked on for 18 months.  During the meeting, I was asked what qualified me to be there.  It wasn't so much a difficult conversation, as an unexpected outcome.  I was flummoxed and didn't know how to respond except to explain that I'd been working in tandem with my boss on this project and knew it intimately and they felt I was their best representative.

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In my previous role we had a renovation project which involved multiple stakeholders- staff and students. As the project was evolving, construction was delayed due to various reasons: labor and supply shortage,  incorrect scheduling of construction workers,  layout plans kept changing, etc.
Due to this delay, various complaints were received as staff and students (who were temporarily relocated to another office building) were eager to return to their new offices. Movers, IT personnel for network cabling, Bell telephone lines and other deliveries such office furniture had to be rescheduled.

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I have been working on a very high-level and confidential project that was put on hold in 2020 due to COVID. When we picked the project up again late last year, I was thrilled. Fast forward to my performance review; I came prepared with talking points for growth opportunity and an additional ask for support that wasn't received the way I had intended. To be clear, I'm certain it was the delivery of the ask that could have been better. My manager is very supportive, although can sometime be aloof. I think if I'd taken a few moments to breathe and practiced my ask, it would have gone over much better.

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In a previous role I was given the lead on a project which required five of my former team members reporting into me directly. I had an employee who was upset with this change; the employee would challenge any requests that I had asked and was removing or changing reporting that was uploaded by me. This was my first experience like this and instead of speaking with the employee directly I found myself often kind going to my leader and complaining about the situation and taking on the work instead of dealing with them directly. Ultimately a difficult conversation was had between myself, the employee as well as my leader. The employee admitted that they were unhappy with the changes and they felt as though it should’ve been a shared job and not just myself taking the lead. We were able to talk it out and I apologized for my part and how the situation was handled and they were able to do so as well. In hindsight I certainly would’ve approached the employee a lot sooner while also drawing back on how often I was “complaining” to my leader about the situation simply because those conversations were not effective in fixing the situation.

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I support 4 busy VPs and they had asked me to coordinate a spreadsheet to track their direct reports vacation times throughout the year to ensure proper coverage. Everyone was happy to provide their away dates except for one person who was very confrontational with me and refused to cooperate. She refused to provide any information for vacation dates and told me that she did not report to me. I have not addressed it with her again, but this is not the first time she has been rude or difficult when I request information.

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I have been avoiding a potentially difficult discussion with a colleague of mine, because I am almost certain the outcome would not be positive. I was hired to replace this specific co-worker when she went on maternity leave, and upon her return, the plan was for her to integrate into a different role. When she came back to work after a year, almost every conversation I have had with her has been challenging; either she is confrontational or dismissive. In the beginning, it was really affecting me, but I have since learnt to deal with it.

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In a previous role I had the responcibilty to manage a team, one of the members of my team was older then me and often would compare me to her daughter. She would not keep up with the tasks I would assign to her and had many exuses as to why. I also did not appricate her using words like "sweetie" or "honey" when she would talk to me. Ultimately, I had a one on one with her where I adressed her work preformance and also expressed how I felt about her calling me "honey"/"sweetie" and she did get offended. I felt like I was compasionate and considerate to her feelings, and I am unsure how I could have handled that situation better.

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I support a project that has many time driven deliverables. I will send information out requesting a response or an action that needs to be completed. There is a key member that often never responds this causes delays in getting work done. I have discussed this with the team member and they say they will get to it but it only gets done if I continually follow up.

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I was in a meeting to discuss deliverables on a project for a specific department. I had come prepared with the available options to discuss. A participant wanted something that wasn't possible and despite best efforts to explain, they kept coming back to the same questions. It was definitely getting the better of me. While I remained composed, in hindsight I feel I could have handled it better.

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[Template] FirstName LastName - Option A

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[Template] FirstName LastName - Option A

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Write your experience here...

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[Example] Gheyana Purbodiningrat - Option B

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[Example] Gheyana Purbodiningrat - Option B

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When we had a group project, we had a member who kept missing meetings and did not want to put in the work. The other group members were unhappy with this situation, so I felt like I had to talk to this specific member. I tried my best to muster up the courage to talk to this member, but....