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The last two days were some of the best day for me, Kakak.

With you around, I felt calm and blessed.

Thank you for your kindness and care, ever by my side,

Thank you for making it all so fun,

Thank you for being so warm and kind.

If I said or did something wrong, I hope it didn’t linger too long. I never want to hurt you in any way...

I wish you all the good life can bring. Happiness, peace, and everything.

And I can't wait the day our paths cross again, kakak.

Thank you, kakak.

-W.M.

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Ibra, Ibra, the nourishment for my neverending hunger. 

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Ibra, Ibra, the nourishment for my neverending hunger. 

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It took many violence to be this gentle, to be this loving, accepting my fangs that are meant to be immersed in the skin of your neck as a gentle touch. Time flew unexpectedly fast when you're around, and we grew knowing each other in a blink of an eye, yet I'd never say that I didn't enjoy it. Things are enjoyable when we're in the corner of this world, it's like having a banquet where everything will be started and ended with eating— just like why a world began. You satisfied me, you're made good enough so that I could love you, very much, very gentle, very unbearably haunting. My prolonged longing to devour and to be devoured were all answered by you, so I couldn't stand to worship you all over.

Thank you, Ibra. In next timeline, I hope we can devour each other for the second time. I love you, I'll bury all the memories in our house along with my ribcage that has already carved by your name. It'll stay for a century, and I won't even mind doong everything to extend it. Let me devour you again, someday... will you?

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daddy has been a lovely companion to my days, i feel safe and secure when daddy's around!

with every word exchanged and every touch shared, i realized you were more than just a person, you were a place where i felt at home. although it was brief, i cherished the time we've spent together and i'm beyond grateful for the kind fate that brought us together, daddy! ꒰ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ꒱ ♥

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Been looking for the familiarity and warmth I only ever felt in the past, so when the odd meets, I’m very grateful to seize the opportunity once more. Ibra is such a sweetheart. Loving him is very easy. He is like the blinking light in the midst of vacant and humdrum days. I find solace, honesty in every of his words. I need not to pretend or sugarcoat because even skipping lovely words, I could feel his sincerity.

I hope his days will always be filled with nothing less than joy and peace. I hope his meals will always taste exceptional! 🍜

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thank you for giving me so much love. i really really feel so happy.. 🥺 kakak baik banget sama adek, juga selalu bikin adek senyum. walaupun kakak ada kerjaan, tapi kak kala selalu bagi waktu untuk adek.

kakak juga orangnya lucu banget dan outgoing, jadi mau ngobrolin apa aja pasti lancar dan nyambung. pokoknya adek seneng banget bisa habisin waktu sama kakak. :(

soon kita ketemu lagi ya kak! terus kita makan bareng, oke? in the meantime kakak jaga kesehatan ya kak, jangan lupa makan dan minum yang cukup, jangan sampai kecapekan juga.. nanti adek sedih kalau kakak sakit.

until we meet again soon, kakak. i love you.

love,
your bun.

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Hai Ibra, the most adorable person ever I've ever known. Being in love with him and loved by him is the best thing that happened in my life. Always appreciate his lover and being number #1 support system in every situation. His arms feels like home; warm and I always feel safe when I'm with him. The most gergeous, the perfect one; all of these in him.

Ibra, thank you for the love that you gave to me, thank you for being the most adorable boyfriend I've ever had, thank you for the hugs and kisses, thank you for being the reason why I smiled a lot, and thank you for everything that you've done to me. These past 2 days brought so much happiness on me, I'm beyond grateful to get to know beautiful soul like you. You always know how to make your lover happy in your own way and this makes me feel happy around you. Your love and your presence really made me feel like I'm the happiest girl in the world.

I love being with you, I love every moment we have, and I really enjoyed spending times with you. Meeting you was a fate and I'm more than happy to receive your pure unconditional love.

To the sweetest human being I've ever run to, please take care of youself okay? Eat healthy food and drink enough water, ya! Jangan lupa istirahat yang cukup, tidurnya jangan pagi-pagi. Semangat kuliah dan apapun yang lagi kamu lakuin yaaa! Semoga semuanya dilancarkan dan dimudahkan. Doaku juga semoga kamu selalu dikelilingin sama orang-orang baik dan sayang sama kamu, ya. Please be happy and keep spreading love and positivity to people around you. Once again, thank you so much Ibra.

With love,

Acil. 🤍

p.s keep writing ya! aku suka liat tulisan kamu 😸

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I'll keep this one short (again) since I think I've said most of the things I wanted to say to you a few weeks ago hehe.

It was our second meeting, and I want you to know that our house was still as warm as it had been on our first meeting. Thank you for still holding me as gently, for still kissing me as tenderly, for making me feel like the luckiest girl ever in all the mornings and nights we spent tangled up in each other. Thank you for loving me so well, Mas Ibra. Thank you for being a comfortable home I can always return to. And thank you for always welcoming me with your tight embrace.

Mas Ibraku sayang, I hope you always get to eat well and have a restful sleep every day. Please take care of yourself well. And good luck on everything, I know you can do it! :D

With love, your little lucky charm, N.

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Writing isn’t my forte but I hope this can convey how Randia made me feel these past few days.

Randia loves so gently. To put it in words, his love felt like a warm hug, a slow caress to your hair, the tunes of a familiar song, a spoonful of your favorite soup, and every & other little thing that brought warmth to your soul.

He’ll keep track of even the smallest things like your food preference and will remind you to keep yourself hydrated, not get rained on, eat well, and sleep well. He’ll keep up & listen to your babble as well as give you millions of hugs.

Randia… Randia… Randia… Thank you. Thank you for sharing your love with me, for being so sweet & attentive, for making me feel so loved, and for everything & more that I couldn’t put into words.

I appreciate you a lot & will be rooting for you always. Stay warm & full of love ya, mas Randiaku.

-🐞

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I think I lost my ability to weave words when it comes to you. Hence, I hope you accept this apology for my tardiness to leave a trace here.

Papi, love becomes so easy when I was doing it with you. It's like I'm coming to home. I didn't need to say a word and you were always ready to take me into your embrace. Ah, it's like I found my haven where I can reside all of my worries. I found my haven in your two arms; in the crook of your neck; on your lap. I'll forever cherish all the time we spent togetherㅡmore like being lazy together, though. I'll miss those silly conversation we had. I'm glad I can freely tell you about anything and you'll reply with the same excitement.

The thing I'm most grateful of is your presence. The way you calmed my nerves everytime I feel like I'm being chased with something. You were making sure I left room to breath and everything will be fine. Thank you, for staying. Thank you for keep telling me you'll always being there for me.

You held me with so much tenderness, yet precisely know how to makes me go insane. I don't think I'd able to write filthy things here. But yeah, you're insane and I'm just as insane as you, I guess. I'll definitely miss every little moment I spent in your embrace, papi.

Sincerely,
🌊

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It has been days, or even weeks since I read your letter, yet.. I am still not sure about what to say as I am standing here in the middle of the night, with remains of us keep on replaying inside my head, clear as glass, as if it was just yesterday. You know what, Kibs, I still got my tongue numb, not being able to utter any words when it comes to talking about you, and I am not even sure why. But, let me try my best to pour everything here, ya?

I have told the Sun, the Moon, and the Stars about you, and I still see you in everything. In the warm blanket that makes me want to snuggle longer the moment I open my eyes. In the falling leaves that catches my sight whenever I am walking around my neighborhood. In the box of milk that is sitting on my fridge, reminding me of how I forgot to get it until I needed to walk back to the supermarket when I got to listen to the same songs as you did. In the remembrance of football matches that I watched for the first time with you. In the warm meal that I need to prepare every single day. In the funny duck songs that made you say ‘tengil’ countless times. You are just everywhere.

Until now, I still remember how safe I felt being held in your embrace, and Ion’t want to trade it with anything. I miss our little chatter, both the regular and the nonsensical ones. The way you patiently explained things to me, some that are not even important to find out about. How you always responded to every one of my stories, even the silliest one. In between falling asleep and being awake, I live for the updates of your activities that you never missed in sharing to me. It is in all the little and big things. And I will be holding every piece of things that we got to share near to my heart, always.

Not to mention, your playful remarks. From the silly coincidences until the randomly blurted out ones, I just love exchanging banters with you. Not only those, but also fervorous things that we got to share under different circumstances. In every second that you never failed in filling, between the holy and sinful things. In shifting from one to another intensely, which weirdly didn’t really drain my energy out for whatever reason there is. I really don’t think I would ever get enough of them, no even when other people are watching.

I guess, it wouldn’t be a surprise if I couldn’t refrain myself from chanting your name in between prayers, even if heaven doesn’t want us, no? As I told you before, in that case, I would just go down to hell with you and make our own paradise there, for I am sure that it wouldn’t be something too difficult to do, as long as I have you by my side. Kibs, your presence is already a bliss, and any place could be a nirvana with you around.

Kibs, thank you for everything, ya. I know that words might not be enough to convey my gratitude, but still, I hope it suffices for now. I am wishing you all the luck and happiness that the world has to offer, as well as health. Take care of yourself and keep being you; no one else is going to do it better than you do.

This time, too, the idea of saying it in our mother language still hits differently, but here is for you, Randia Ibra, cinta sempurnaku yang akan selalu ku puja.

Disampaikan dari lubuk hati yang paling dalam oleh bunga liar kecilmu, C.

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I am afraid that I am incapable to deliver concise utterances, but I will keep (particularly) this one short to tell what a lover you are.

The closest word I can choose to describe you is easy. You are so easy to love, like putting on an old habit. And likewise, everything you do to love me comes effortlessly putting me at such ease. I am grateful to be able to be in a state where my world isn't going to be broken to pieces anytime sooner when the seconds of it are spent with you.

Randia Ibra, you are truly a book of wonder. And a pond of swimming fish. Worn for years of a hoodie. I think the love I asked for has a name of yours now. I don't think in the nearest time I could ask for more.

I believe something twisted (in a good way) in me and change me forever. I hope I am decent enough to be even as a pass-by of once upon a time in your account.

Thank you for loving me, most ardently. Thank you for taking me home.

Sincerely,
Zizi

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First of all, I want to sincerely apologize that it took me a really long time to leave a little something here; I want to write properly and put something a bit different from my last letter.

Mas Ibra, thank you for loving me so well. I love how attentive and warm you are. I love how you already succeed in making me feel safe and comfortable, even when it was only a few bubbles into our conversations. I love how you always listen to my stories and share ones in return. You're really love, comfort, and tenderness personified. Aaaand, I also love your funny side! Kamu lucu banget, aku beneran senyum dan ketawa HAHA.

Mas Ibra, I agree with you; I also believe that love is stored in your palms (and lips). I love how you always kiss me tenderly but are also able to make a mess out of me. I love the way you handle me roughly and hold me gently at the same time. I'm happy that I got to try out new things and discover some things about myself with you. I'm happy that I got to do it all with you.

Mas, thank you for everything, from the bottom of my heart. I'm so grateful I met you, and I hope you are too. Until we meet again (which I hope soon), please always take care of yourself well, ya?

With love, kisses, and a lot of longing,
your N.

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Getting lost in thoughts of you and your name written all over them..

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Getting lost in thoughts of you and your name written all over them..

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To my love, Randia Ibra…
Hi, first of all i’d just genuinely like to apologize it took me so long to write for you cause i don’t know how to describe my feelings when it comes to you, truth be told, words can never comprehend it.

My Ibra, My Ibbiy… i am so proud of you and your soul that shines brighter, embeds itself into my cerulean as each day passes. You love with more of your heart as time goes on and your love never can run out. And here’s my thank you for loving all of me. Oh, baby, there are many stars that are captivated by you and they remain in your orbit, but still, your hand encased mine endearingly and you brought me into your embrace :( so thank you, thank you, and thank you.

My Ibra, My Ibbiy… i wish i could give you the world, but you deserve more than that. So, perhaps, i should stop thinking that what i do will never be enough, and instead, i should think that you’re deserving of more than what anyone could ever give you. Semoga selalu ada hal-hal baik yang menyertai di hari-hari nya kamu ya.

Makasih banyak atas waktu dan tenaga untuk dua hari kebelakang… masih banyak hal yang aku belum tau tentang kamu. Tapi, punya kesempatan buat ketemu dan ngabisin waktu bareng kamu udah sangat amat berarti dan menyenangkan buat aku pribadi…. dan aku berharap kamu pun bisa merasakan hal yang sama ya, Bra.

Oh, i wish to see you once more soon… to feel my heart about to burst for another time. 🤍

- M.

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Love feels genuine everytime you're around, Kak Ibi

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Love feels genuine everytime you're around, Kak Ibi

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I hope a sincere apology as an opening for this commentary doesn't make it less meaningful since it took me quite a long time to place my trace here. I want to write properly hehe. (I hope you will forgive me, please?)

Kak Ibi, it's been a long time, but I love having your presence around. I can always feel your warmness and gentleness through every little thing you do. I feel at ease and happy when I'm with you, Kakak. Maybe, in your past life, you were my favourite knitted cardigan, always keeping me warm and happy. And I'm so grateful to have you here with me, Kakak. I'm over the moon for the fact that the universe led me to find you, love you, and be loved by you. Thank you for making me feel loved Kakak, thank you for loving me so hard yet so gently at the same time.

I read it somewhere, "When you're the love itself, you're beyond time and numbers. In loving one you love all, in loving all, you love each," and that's how exactly I see you, Kakak. You're the love itself. I always find love in the shape of you. And I hope you could find your shape of love somewhere, Kakak.

I don't know when we'd be able to meet again but please know that I'll always long for you and your presence. But until when the stars aligned to let us meet once again, please take good care of yourself, ya, Kakak? Mirth and health always be with you.

- With love, Ayacil. x

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i have a lot to write, actually, and it’s kind of funny that i wrote it right away after i got your little letter. i never did that, i always take some time to write one. but maybe, i just want to put every memory we have so that before it becomes too blurry (which i doubt), i’ve turned them into forever by putting it as writing.

but no, i won’t write it here. not in front of people. we could do filthy things in public but show my emotions? no, no, it will never happen.

thank you for those days. i actually still find it amusing how we ended up spending that much time like i got a yellow ticket to heaven with you. my favorite notification in the midst of the day. as i said, you’re such a five-star experience. a straight five stars michelin, if you were a restaurant.

it might be not so important: we spent more than 8 hours doing sin, and that was crazy. you might have experienced much more than that, but i’m nothing when it comes to something like that. you’re my awakening, i’m so glad that i have you with me when i explore those things.

and of course, thank you for listening to me that night. thank you for assuring me that i’m not the problem. i still think that i’m one though. but i will hold your words close to my heart, so it can remind me every time it gets too aching. i hope it will get better from time to time and somehow, i want you to be one of the reasons for it.

i’m a man of my word and believe that you won’t go anywhere too far, just like what you said. thus, i’ll make sure that you’ll return home as soon as possible. until then, i’ll make sure to take care of our todoroki and bakugou as much as i can, they’re our lovechild after all, right? :)

please take care of yourself. i will always like you, much more than how you like me. baik baik ya.

p.s. i might write it right away after you give me the letter, but i put it on your padlet d+3 or d+4 (i can't count) on purpose.

p.s.s. the last paragraph sounds like i will be waiting for you from a war.

p.s.s.s. why the hell do i write a so damn long letter.

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hehe, ga kreatif ya judul padletnya. :[

you always know your way around my body and my body knows how to react whenever you're within my reach. i won't ever forget the way you were rough yet loving at the same time. i felt like i could combust in any moment that night. it was the way you did the nastiest things to me, but talked to me like i was made of petals.

thank you for taking care of me, my heart, and my body. thank you for letting me be the tiniest creature whenever i'm with you. i always feel safe in the palm of your hands.

note: papi, stop seeing right through me!! i hate you a little for that. :[ i can never hide things from you.

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mas ibra, you took many firsts from me... first one to call me princess and cantikku, first one to make me feel so tiny yet so safe being so, first one to make me think maybe i need some vanilla sex after all. there are other ones, but i will keep them for myself. :p

thank you for treating me like i was a delicate flower. thank you for keeping my heart safe within your gentle hands. thank you for loving me thoroughly.

i love how you always look for me when i'm away. it makes me feel wanted. :[ i'm pouting right now because i'm trying not to get emotional. i also love how you see through me when i was trying to insult myself subtly. mas ibra. :[ i will never forget that moment.

we're gonna meet again soon (i know it because i insist). until then, please take care.

love, adek cantiknya mas ibra.

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This one’s going to be short since I ran out of words to write today. And I’m confident our last weekend wouldn’t be the last time for us to be together. I told you once that you were spellbinding, you still are. There’s magic between us both. I’d love to keep that magic alive. What we have can’t easily be found anywhere else, Kakak.

Thank you for taking care of me so well, and even liking the part where I got extremely clingy and needy whenever I was about to sleep. It comforts me knowing that you were not annoyed by my clingy side.

Being loved by you is one of my favorite kinds of loving, Kakak. I want to go back to your embrace. I want to love you again.

I’ll see you soon. The next time we meet, I’ll wear my chocolate tank top for you.

— E.

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A short moment that I'd gladly relish for a long time

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A short moment that I'd gladly relish for a long time

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It is not everyday that you have a crush on someone only for it to stay for a long while. Perhaps, the first time you had it, you’d think to yourself, “It is just a crush, I’d forget about it soon enough”, but hey, I think that was where I got it wrong. With you, Kak Ibra, Ion’t think my heartbeat got any slower than how it was by the time I first saw you. If anything, it only beats faster.

Maybe I was just a girl who didn’t have the guts to reach out to you, but as time goes by, I feel grateful I finally did. Kak Ibra, all the things that I confessed to you, they were all true. On some days, I told the Moon about you, and I’d still do it countless times more if it could ease my longing towards spending my time with you.

One of the traits that I really find endearing coming from you is the fact that you take your time to connect with me. I love the way you respond to my bubbles, delicately and attentively, making sure that you don’t miss any points unattended. Our conversation always goes both ways, and you never fail in adding more topics, allowing us to discover each other deeper. Through that, I feel like getting an invitation to know you better, more than just what meets the eye.

Despite the short time, the journey I had with you was totally splendid; and I cannot wait to get another chance of meeting you again. If the time allows, let me return your sweet gesture of exchanging words and admirations at your door. Or perhaps let our lips brushed against each other in a chaste kiss that Ion’t mind reciting as often as I could. Just how lovely will it be to feel the warmth from the tip of your fingers against my skin again? A girl can only dream.

Kak Ibra, there are still so many things that I want to do with you, but let’s see how I could manage to find ways of getting myself seated on your lap, one more time. Until then, please stay happy and healthy ya, Kak? Don’t forget to keep your medal hanging in your room, I’ll make sure to take a peek at it every once in while, just for fun, and as a way for me to keep you reminded of my presence.

Between calling me as your sneaky or obedient little Kitten, am leaving the choice to be up to you. Cheers, C. 🤍

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Dearest Randia.
I think hundreds or thousands of love sonnets can’t deliver how much I’m grafeful for your presence. The days we spent together etched in my mind—and heart—and it fills the nooks and crannies of my soul. Your love is so warm, and I’m grateful I got to love and be loved during our days together. If I get another chance to, I’d love to hold your hands and never let go. Thank you, Randia, for spreading your warmth to me.

With love,
N.

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Kakak, it's been weeks since we last met and I'm still hung up on the moments we shared behind the damn bleachers... I genuinely never thought one could fulfill my fantasies as good as you did so you can imagine how these past few weeks have been for me, constantly thinking about your hands on me and the way you whispered such dirty words in my ear. That damn mouth of yours. Thank you for taking care of me, Kakak. Your little cheerleader hopes she can see you again soon hehe.

P.S. I'm never returning your jersey :p

Xo.

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Every time I see your name on my phone, I imagine maybe in another universe we're just an ordinary couple who lives inside a tiny yet comfortable house. Every morning I made coffee for you and a glass of hot choco for me. You came to the kitchen and hug me from behind before giving me my daily kisses intake from you. In matching pajamas, we stand there and giggle at something stupid we did last night.

Maybe in another universe, I'll wait for you to come home from a long day at work inside our living room. Where we spend lots of time together; where we watch our favorite series, where we talk about our day, where we talk our problems out and you, being you, a wise man who always finds a way out, and we back as a couple with tooth-rooting-fluff activities as our daily routine.

Maybe in another universe, we spent every night together inside our warm blanket and snuggling in each other's embrace trying to fight the coldness of the night. We let the songs from your playlist accompany us and we just lay there on our bed staring into each other's eyes without any words coming from us. Because even in silence, we enjoy each other's presence.

I hope our house by the beach will be ready by the next time we see each other again. I will be waiting for your few plates of my favorite food along with peeled and sliced mangoes.

P.S. I've reached 50% of the series and I'll come to this page every time I make a progress! >___< (nonton tanpa bisa lapor ke kamu ga seru deh...)
+ I just finished the 6th episode and I am SMAD (Sad and Mad) T___T Tony was a pure sweetheart— he was looking for love, and he didn't deserve any of that... (none of the victims deserve that kind of treatment of course huf) but on a serious note I love how they paid attention on some scenes where the mute everything, no background sound at all, so I kinda pay attention more while watching!
+ Hi I'm back again in less than an hour because you're right this series makes me keep going! I'm just gonna say that I'm in rage because the police didn't take Glenda complaints seriously :--(
+ 8th episode ached my heart so much, watching the families confess as the representation of victims T___T

Be well, always.

- Your not-so-little moon, Mas.

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Hey, Dory. Apologies for the suuuper late entry, hope you don’t mind since I just realized I haven’t posted this (a fellow Dory here, remember?).

First of all, thank you for spending my birthday with me! I told you this several times already, but still, thank you for making me look forward to this special day of mine! And for giving me one of the best, most-loving gifts I ever received. I still looked through it occasionally, to remember how loved I was by you, and how this was crafted by your own warm and loving hands–the same pair that has been keeping my heart safe all this time. I will cherish this gift and your love in the most loving corner of my heart, always.

Sometimes I wish I could pull a Ho Po-Wing and say, “Let’s start over,” to you, just like how he said it to Lai Yiu-fai in Happy Together. And sometimes I wonder if you’d pull a Fai and indulge me if I say it. Would you? This is why I think no matter how time passes, you’ll always be my sweetest what-if; one that I wish could be answered, but never could. (Also how fitting that Happy Together falls under our ‘despaired love’ reference, just like the rest of Our things).

Here’s a secret: whenever I get lonely and missing you, I randomly reread our texts. Even after all this time, you’re still comfort-personified to me. Thank you for always giving me comfort within your presence, for listening (and somehow knowing how I feel without me voicing it out to you first, emang kamu si paling attentive beneran), and for soothing my worried heart whenever we’re together. And for everything, really. A million thank yous wouldn’t suffice for what your presence means to me. I, too, hope I was a loving companion for you as well.

Hope you’re currently eating and living well, and surrounded by lots of love, My Sho. Don't forget to rest well and take care of your health too, ya? Also would like to tell you that the autumn leaves are here! Maybe not in the exact shade of your favorite autumn leaves orange I think, but it still reminded me of you, you fellow Autumn baby. And ah, Niki’s Autumn hits too close to us too, don’t you think?

As per your request, I won’t sign off with that other nickname <3 (Imagine if I did with the tone in this message though, it’d be funny won’t it? And thank you for the exciting PDA during our time too. It was definitely a lot of fun *sticker Qoobee tersipu malu*)

All my love, always,

Your Little Tulip (a.k.a your best friend (turned lover? 😁) in a parallel universe, too)

p.s. I think it’s sad? disheartening? how I couldn’t walk Cornelia Street again, while the city, and the sunset, still screams your name. You really do live in every sunset to me now, Dearest.

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We are most definitely not out of goodbyes, I believe this wouldn’t be the only letter I write for you.

You’re the antidote to what I think was an incurable condition (the condition being me touching my workload on weekends, hahah). My sweetest distraction, the only one who can turn me into a crying, begging mess; being helpless never felt that good.

Thank you for loving me in every way possible. It was gentle as much as it was passionate.  I want to be loved by you longer, Mas Ibra, kesayanganku.

Both the villa and the tattoo will be ready for you. Let’s make love under the moonlight next time, yes?

I chose the color red to remind you of the color that you chose for my night dress. Can’t wait for you to leave a stain there, again.

Gadisnya Mas Ibra,
E.

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ibra, thank you so much for accompanying me yaa. it was really really nice to meet you, aku seneng bisa dikasih kesempatan ngobrol dan ketemu kamu. i'm beyoooond grateful to get to know a beautiful soul like you. aku gatau ungkapinnya gimana tapi thank you for reminding me how butterflies feels like yaaa!! you're such a perfect boyfrieeeend and i really enjoyed spending times with you, choosing you is the best decision i've had ever made. thank you so much for the kisses, and thank you foooor all the love that you gave to me.

i hope this month treat you well ya, ibraa. please take care of yourseeelf, apalagi lagi musim hujan dan jangan lupa makan yang teratuur ya! minumnya juga dibanyakiiin. semangat terus sama apa yang lagi kamu lakuin yaa, be happy okaaay? you deserve all the loveees and all the good things in this world. see you when i see you, ibra <3

with love,

A.

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I'll always remember how you like to be held, my Ibra.

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I'll always remember how you like to be held, my Ibra.

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I will start this off by quoting Elena Armas: "I love you like I’d never loved anything before. And I’ll love you for the rest of my life if you let me.”

I love being in love with you, Ibra. And I love being loved by you. So much that I wish that can be the only thing that I do for the rest of my life.

It's purely magical how you never run out of warmth. You call me your Summer but I know that every warmth that this summer has was from you. My fireplace, home always looks a lot like you.

Loving you makes me want to live well. It makes me want to eat well because I love you, to take care of myself because I love you, to get enough sleep at night because I love you. I realize every day that I'm in love with the idea of us and I'll do anything in my power to make sure that 'we' exist for a very long time.

I will always miss you, my Ibra. I love you, so much. I hope you can feel it even when I'm not around. I'll always have your love with me too. I love you, again. I love you, always. Take care of yourself; every inch of your being is so dear to me.

Your summer-shaped love,
Cassidy.

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Gatekeeping my nickname for you to the point that I am not going to mention it here.

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Gatekeeping my nickname for you to the point that I am not going to mention it here.

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Hehe. Hi, Kakak. This is the lady you sometimes call Princess. Took me thousands of years to finally leave my trace here. I have explained to you about my reasons on why I had not left some words and you took them very kindly. But, I am once again very sorry that I ended up not leaving some words right away after that.

Well, here we go!

TMI, I am writing this post as I listen to the playlist you made and gave me. <3

Kakak, there is something about you that I can't simply describe with words. I know that it may be due to my lack of vocabulary range, but I bet even the greatest poet could write hundreds of different poems if they were to be loved by you.

It's the way you marked your territory in my heart from the very first time we talked and continued to pull me closer to you slowly. It was as if you had this invisible string wrapped around me, that I had no other choice but to be lured in by your charms and antiques.

It's true that I was always caught off guard whenever you call my name. Even now, I think you still surprise me sometimes that it makes me want to combust. Don't you even dare ask when it was, but that... That statement of mine alone explains how you've got me wrapped around your fingers.

Now why is this starting to seem like a confession. Alright, here's the real testimony on being loved by Randia Ibra Janardana.

He was always there during the four days of mine with him. He never misses an update of his activities and his teases... God. He's the absolute best when it comes to teasing. Makes me want to leave all of my tasks and focus on him, but at the same time I am just so flustered due to the power he has over me? If you are looking for a lover who can love you tenderly and push you over the edge (in a good way) until you can't help but want him wholly, Ibra is the right man for you.

Not to mention that he can be the cutest when he is a bit jealous. Yes, he is the whole package of a hot boyfriend coming with a side of the best hugs and kisses. It's simply impossible to not crave for his pecks.

Ah, and a really memorable mention that he closed the session really gently. I appreciate that a lot! You could say it was a soft gentle process of letting go after a couple of days spent daydreaming about him and denying the fact that I was falling in love with him.

Despite not feeling like I have given him enough love and affection he deserves, I truly hope I can meet him again in different circumstances, when I have more time to focus on this fine lad.

So, I guess, I'll see you again, Kak? I can hear you saying, "Hadeh," in the back. HAHAHA. I'll definitely be seeing you around, hehe.

Yours,
Amoy.

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I'm not good at explaining things. I don't really know why until I saw Leonard Cohen's letter to Marianne Ihlen. There, he said ;

"It's hard to write about you. The surf is too loud. The beach is too crowded, and you're too much in my heart to put anything down."

And I think that's why I feel like I'm not capable enough to write things about you, because you're too much in my heart, in my mind, in everything around me.

You've reached something deep within me that I never knew existed. You've build me a home with your own hands. You made a garden in my heart that's so full of flowers in every colours. You let me burned your wings with my sun.

And I love it. I love every single inch of you. I love your daily meal reports, your praises, your sky updates.I love everything about you.

I can go on and on about you, but that'd be unfortunate if the rest of the world knows about our little secret, no?

My love, my Icarus. You're all that I've been thinking for these past few days. Thank you for being a great lover to me. Thank you for loving and adoring me in ways no one can do. I'll hold you close to my heart 'til we meet again.

One kiss for your lips and millions lingering kisses for every inch of your wings, Mas.

— Your Sunbeam.

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Teruntuk yang selalu menenangkan, Randia.

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Teruntuk yang selalu menenangkan, Randia.

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Sebetulnya hingga hari ini aku berkunjung kesini, aku masih belum tau akan menyampaikan apa. I wouldn't be perfect with my words, it'll be scattered around, yet I still hope it reaches you. I might not say or show how much I love to be loved by you, but I love it, eminently.

Loving you was... The warmest, the gentlest, the one I can't get enough of. You, once again, never failed to bring the Sun to my rainy days. Allowing myself to fall completely into your arms always feels so right, for your hands fits perfectly in mine. You, once again, making every love songs sounds like it was written just for you. For you are the love itself.

Thank you for drowning away my blues, making my day feels special and lovely with you in it. I said this a lot but still I'm grateful to meet you. I'm glad I lived to this day, to be loved by you. My very own loverboy.

Sampai nanti, sampai kita bertemu kembali, di lain purnama. Hingga aku pulang nanti, semogaku masih selalu sama, untukmu agar selalu hangat dalam lelapmu, makan dengan teratur, dan bertahan lebih lama disini karena kamu selalu memberi yang terbaik. I'm still and will miss you terribly, Warmth.

All my heart,
Your triangular kimbab, 🍙.

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Dear Randia Ibra.

I have so many things I want to say to you, but even after all this time, even after months have passed, I'm still having a hard time trying to put it all into words. But one thing for sure, I'm so, so, so grateful that I get to meet you in this lifetime. Through meeting you, I have said, I learned a lot. So much. I don't think I can ever thank you enough for that.

Ibra, you love well. You love really well that sometimes I wonder how one can love this well and this hard, yet it all feels like the gentlest touch. It's almost like you were made for love. You were born as love in human-sized form. I'm sure I've told you that you're love personified, and you really are. I truly, truly hope that you will get even more love in return for the ones you have given to the world. I hope you will find love within each step. For you deserve nothing but love.

Throughout each meeting, I've realized that sometimes, kindness and love can come in the form of a person, and it's you. Thank you for always welcoming me with a warm embrace. Thank you for letting me love you, Ibra. And most of all, thank you for letting me in. My heart has known the thumps of yours so well, it will recognize yours in the next lifetime, for sure.

If someday (hopefully soon), I get to spend some more time with you, I'll make sure to serve you your Nutella toast. I'll dine with you again and again when the stars align.

I'll see you around, Ibra. Remember that I'll always be rooting for you! Eat well always, kakak.

If we only live once, I want to live with you, indeed.

With warm hugs,

You know who wrote this, no?

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My light blue sky, my baby's breath, my fireplace in winter.

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My light blue sky, my baby's breath, my fireplace in winter.

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Ibra, sayangku, my Ibra. I honestly have no idea what to wtite here. Words can't describe how much I enjoyed our session a few days ago. Two days weren't enough for me to share my affections with you, but on the other hand, I'm glad that I got to spend those wonderful two days together with you, Ibra.

You are the epitome of morning breeze. You were able to soothe my soul and make me feel alive. You taught me how to love someone easily, you showed me that to love someone and not expecting to be loved in return (although you did love me in the best way) is actually beautiful. I really adore how you arrange words, how you treat me gently, how you love me as easy as you blink your eyes.

Although what we had was temporary, I could feel how sincere you love was. It might sound crazy indeed. So, Ibra, thank you for loving me sincerely, thank you for being there for me, thank you for waiting for me patiently when I was away, and thank you for being you.

You should know that you are one of a kind, and I don't think I will ever find another you in any universe. Ibra, you are the only one.

With love,

H.

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Half a heart sign from me – not a perfect one since Ibby is the only perfection for me. :b

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L'une des épaules les plus fortes, Ibra.

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L'une des épaules les plus fortes, Ibra.

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"I swear the magnolias flashed a smile and that's when I caught me hoping you'd stay a while." – NIKI.

Headpats. Joy. Hugs. Warmth. Kisses. Love.

Nothing but those things were given to me by a fine man named Ibra – or Ibby, that's how I call him. My cheeks were hurting bad from how much I smiled because of him. My heart was beating too fast, I almost bursted, because of him. Little did Ibby know, I slept very well the night after he praised me (a lot) and told me I've done well – his words calmed me and I am suuuper grateful for hours I got to spend with him.

(Sounds like I'm smitten but who wouldn't if they have Ibby as their boyfriend??!!)

Dating Ibby was one of the best decisions I've ever made. My only regret is the minimal amount of time we spent together – I'll make sure to spend longer time with you next time, Ibra!

From the girl you've ever loved before,
Arshy.

Ps. Jangan lupa double check alamatnya!!

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Those were two days I will never forget.. Feels so warm and uplifting in every second that we pass. I must say that you're a solid form of precious creature. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad to bid you a goodbye, I REALLY HOPE WE'LL MEET AGAIN next month.. #Pray_For_Me

Thank you for spending so much time with me in the midst of all your tight schedule. Bakalan kangen nanya "kamu hari ini rapat jam berapa?" instead of asking what are your plans for today.. hehe. I hope a LOT of good things will happen to you in the days to come. In everyday, to be exact.

Last but not least, I love you wholeheartedly and feel beyond grateful for all your kindness.

—puppy. (2)

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Hi, baby boy. Sorry it took Mommy this long to write about our session, hope you don’t mind ya, adek sayang? But you love waiting for me patiently don’t you? You’re my good boy after all.

Iya, iya, aku serius sekarang. Nggak usah looking unamused gitu dong, Simba, smile for me a bit won’t you? Lemesin sayang, atau perlu aku yang dilemesin? 😁 Duh, susah banget nggak bercanda gini sama kamu, it’s engraved on my fingers for real. But alright, I’ll be serious now.

Ibra, I know this has been a while since this particular moment but thank you for holding my clammy, shaky, hands back then. Not just during our ticketing date (which was still the cutest date I’ve ever done btw), but also about The Big Thing, the one where I clutched onto you like a little baby who doesn’t want to let go of their favorite comfort blankie. Even though my hands were clammy, you still held on to it and implicitly said, “I’m here, sweetheart. I may not be there with you right now, but I’m here,” and for that I’m thankful for your presence.

I think it’s a testament that whenever I (re)read Siken’s poems, it always leads back to you. Dirty Valentine? It’s about you. Seaside Improvisation? Still about you. Litany in Which Certain Things are Crossed Out? Still about you, baby. Saying Your Names? There’s literally darling and sweetheart references here and how I love saying your name all the time, you know it’s about you.

Somehow, there is something about you that’s just perfect for yearning, for I feel so deeply but you don’t feel the same. Siken understands me when he said, “You swallow my heart and flee, but I want it back now, baby. I want it back.” And Siken empathizes with me when he said, “I take my hands and I give them to you, but you don’t want them, so I take them back and put them the wrong way, the wrong wrists.” I could name a lot more pieces and references, you know I could, but in the end, what I want for both of us is to be in the gold room, dearest.

Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. It’s like a religion. It’s terrifying, Ibra. Sometimes I’m afraid I can’t keep up with your act of love, but most times, what I feel is a love that transcends hunger for you. And sometimes, I wonder, if you ever feel like this too.

So thank you, Ibra, for showing me what it means to Love–and gracing me in all its different forms–during our times together: that it is attentive, and kind, and patient, and understanding. It is putting up for the sake of your lover, comforting them, yet also teasing and being annoying in the most fondest form. It’s staying up until 5am together, full of giggles, full of teeth, and full of desire and lust. It’s all the moments I’ve spent with you in the kitchen, in the garden, and in our bedroom.

I love you, always

Your best friend, Sweetheart of yours

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halooo ibiw! sorry it took so long for me to write this. boleh ibiw janji ga mayah karena aku baru isi sekarang? 😬 (inget ga ini emoji apa? hehe)

so thank you for those 4 days you spent with me back in may. you made me feel loved and happy, and if i could turn back time, i would /menepuk pundakmu/ always stay safe and healthy ya ibiw!

sincerely, kirby-nya ibiw

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(Cracking knuckles).

Like what we've talked about before, it's hard to start something. And as for me, it's hard to start pouring out those feelings for you here, at your final stop. I clearly get what you mean by stating that this was a final stop, there's no one close enough to what you're capable of. You are the final stop, indeed.

I don't think a mere thank you is enough, but, I couldn't find any other words.

So, thank you?

For making the smile never fade away from my face as we converse; for holding me in your palms, it's warm; for lending me the tiny warmest space in your heart; for showing me how grand love is; for making me think that love is a sacred place, as what you claim, a religion. To think I'm devoted to you might be the right word to describe.

I always love the way you wrapped your arms around me, wrecking me in the best way possible. For I loved to be captivated under your spell, making a mess out of myself, going into madness scenarios and beyond. Yet you still manage to ask for my consent, making sure not to go near my limits. For that, you did it well, love.

That's how I found my home within you and all I could hope is, for you, to find one as well. I could only wish for you to feel all the love you have given to many, and return to you tenfold. I hope you'll still allow me to go back here, in your embrace, again. So, this won't be our last?

I guess I'll end it with; that's all, I love loving you, and this has been your strawberry-flavoured K.

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thank you so much for loving me dearly these past 2 days! thank you for your kind words and your caring while we were together.

you're a lovely companion and it was nice talking with you although i was away numerous times bc of my schewpid work and messy schedule. it was lovely to have someone who was ready to hug and kiss me after a long day. so thank you, for bearing with me and my fried brain.

also, would like to thank you again for your adorable brioche edit, i'll cherish it<3

i hope the universe will always shower you with endless love and blessings. take care xx

your j.

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first of all i’m utterly sorry for my tardiness on writing this (just so you know, i was thinking about what to write everyday but the right words just seemed to go away </3).

but ibbie, my ibbie, i sincerely want to thank you for the three wonderful (and flowery!) days we spent together. i wouldn’t ask for a better company. i’m so glad that it was you i chose to lay my love with. i’m very much delighted to had you as my loving-someone to share all my excitements and stories with. you are indeed what Sylvain Reynard said in her “you blossom under kindness, don’t you? like rose.” and Linda Hogan’s “you are the result of the love of thousands.” cause you truly love in the kindest way possible cause you are, truly, loved well. you have no idea how your heartfelt stories about your dearest surroundings made me feel. i still am giddy and my heart would be warmed all over again whenever i think about them. like i said before, i’m gonna store all your stories in this corner of my heart, forevermore.

ibbie, i was once longed for love. i had this one and two thoughts about how a perfect love could make me feel. and you were there. executed the whole of them in the most tender way possible. it may sounds like a broken record but i genuinely happy when i was with you. and i will be happy in upcoming days whenever i recount our memories (as i will remember you in every flowers that i pick, every shrimps that i peel, and every pie that ibu buys. i could make this as an endless note, by the way).

so thank you, thank you, thank you. you make love such an easy form to grip. you make love feels so lovely.

when Pablo Neruda said, “i will bring you flowers from the mountains, bluebells, dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.

i want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.”

love,

your little daisy ♡

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Ibra, is, always been, a great listener. He listens to you well and respond perfectly. He appreciated you when you still have time to think about something; "Take your time, baby." He gave space but also suddenly come a pop up messages said; "Kangen. Sayaaaang." when you didn't reply his messages in a span of 1 minute. Cute. My cute Ibra.

It was awkward at first for both of us actually? hahaha we gave some cliché replies and sometimes some of them are boring (sorry..) but we can't help it, no? It was our first day. But as time passed by, I started to get a little too comfortable at the point where I would ramble everything to him, talking about the things I know, give my reaction there and there. And then the first thing he said is; "Cute." before responding to all the things I said. He always made sure I was well listened. Kind. My kind Ibra.

Ibra was my first time. I remembered worry about many things because I want it to be comfortable for both of us. I came to his cc once in a while, asking about his preferences and his expectations about his client. Some people also asked him about his liking but sadly we have so much differences. When something started to stress me out, I decided to leave everything as they were and start thinking; why don't we just figured it out together? Started from; "aku habis nonton youtube" "Nonton apa, Sayang?" "This case about..." and we found something in common!

Ibra, these past few days with you I feel nothing but love and safe. You loved me just enough. You give more than I expected. I hope you feel the same thing.

; "Just like the moon, we must go through phases of emptiness to feel full again." I can't wait for the time when I can feel full again. With you, the night to my moon.

"How happiness make you feel?"
It feels like having milk regal after a long day at work.
It feels like having a bowl full of mangos I've been craving since forever.
It feels like letting myself drown into your embrace I've been wanting since forever.
They're all... perfect.

- A.

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I used to be skeptical on how men could be sincere with their words and actions. I found a lot of downside and pleasure while talking to them in the same time. But Ibra is like the movie you left to bed. You might consider every outcome but still always hope for the best, the wait you feel grateful to happen, and the only morning you will greet with excitement.

Ibra is good with words and offer nothing less than comfort and warmth. A passionate and lovely man. I could describe him with many words but will still be troubled to find one that picture him in complete. But he is a keeper.

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Thank you for taking care of me. You proved me that it was no use getting nervous around you, even when we only had three hours to get to know each other and be comfortable. I think, I melted into your touch since the very first chat you sent. Atau kayaknya aku udah naksir kamu aja sih sebelum kita ngobrol. Can you blame me though?

I really had fun that night. You made me talk about my favorite fictional character and it brought me so much joy, especially when you seemed genuinely interested! Thank you, thank you.

Ibra, I hope we meet again and get to kiss each other good night. I miss your lips on my skin already.

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If I could describe our lovely meeting in a snazzy tune, Every Kind of Way by H.E.R would be the elite option for description. To get a taste of your love, you and your endearing words succeed in making me want to have more, to feel more.

Funny how your love一even if only for a brief period, holds the ability to enchant me into thinking that waiting is the least thing I love; for I can’t wait to try another flavour of your love on our next date.

With love,
🌷

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Ibra, Ibra. I'm sorry for writing this late. But, Ibra. I want to thank you sincerely for those two days we spent together. I really looove the you treated me. I feel safe in your embrace ... like there's nothing to worry about, because you're by my side.

There are so many things to say about how amazing you are as a person, that I am not sure even a paragraph would be enough to depict it. Every second is summarized clearly in my memory and of course, I’ll keep it safe, forever.

Ibra is ... truly an angel, really. He has a kind heart, soft, gentle, and most importantly, he's so loving and caring. He never fail to make me extremely happy and feel like I'm the luckiest person on universe. Thank you for everything, Ibra. I wish you well and I hope our paths will cross again, soon.

—puppy.

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Ibra, the one who's able to bring you to the cloud nine, easily.

Though you said you'd did it rough, however your act tell me otherwise, a soft-spoken, never failed to flattered me with your words, along with a tender touch which will be the death of me. Hence, the way you handle me in bed, making me want to make a mess out of myself and begging for your touch. You're enchanting, well versed in everything you do.

Despite it's just for a mere hours, I do wish that we may cross our path again in the future.

Love,
Yours.

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kakaaak! aloooo 🥰 honestly speaking, i was scared that we'd be awkward but turns out, you were able to match my energy! lebih ke attentive sih karena aku beneran bawel banget (sowwy...) ANYWAY! sayang banget sama kak ibra karena semuanya dibalesin satu satu dan selalu reassure aku kalau aku not being too chatty setiap aku minta maaf which i appreciate a lot 🥺 super sad aku cuma bisa pacaran sama kakak selama 3 jam... kapan kapan mau lebih lama, mau cerita lebih banyak lagi sama kak ibra! aku udah kangen bangeeeet. kakak jangan lupa mam yang teratur yaaaaaa 😠❤️

- O.

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alo, akak ibra! i hope you don't mind if this tiny baby steps into your land. adek wants to let you know how grateful i am for having you as my safest place to show my true colors. i feel safe whenever i'm around you, because i know you will hold me safely in your arms.

kakak kakak kakak, thank you for accompanying for the past three days. i couldn't be more happier. kakak treat me so gently and i wouldn't ask for more. kakak knows how to put himself in every condition. but that doesn't mean kakak would stop tease me. he's good at teasing... i really mean it.

kakak, terima kasih karena selalu perhatiin setiap cerita adek. terus kakak juga tau apa yang adek mau, bahkan sebelum adek bilang ke kakak. i guess you know me too well. kenapa adek salting ya nulis kaya gini...

last but not least, i wanna say thank you for always appreciating me. kakak never forget to say that i did great and always tells me he's proud of me. i'm thankful for that.

i hope i'll see you really soon, ya, kak? please jangan bosan ketemu adek. soalnya adek nggak akan pernah bosan!! thank you, kakak. ❤

- little puppy

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Both God and the Devil's favourite, Ibra. 

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Both God and the Devil's favourite, Ibra. 

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I guess it's only right if I start this with, I'm still in dazed. You are still circling in my mind like a fucking carousel. I don't even know how I should describe our session because calling it steamy isn't enough. It was raging hot and boy would I spend the night with you, over and over again. I've truly never met anyone who excels at delivering my needs. It was everything I've ever dreamt of. The right amount of rough with the perfect kind of aftercare.

This man, I swear to God. He knows what to do to get a person nervous. I am not one to get easily flustered and flushed but the way he teased, talked, was just *collapses*. Ibra knows what to say, always. He knows how to get you all high without even touching you yet, it's insane, honestly.

Ibra, I will most definitely see you again soon. Save your lap for me, will you?

Xx,
Your not-so innocent little girl.

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Aku gak tau harus mulai darimana karena terlalu banyak yang ingin aku utarain tentang kamu. Tentang lembutnya kamu. Baiknya kamu. Hangatnya kamu. Semuanya tentang kamu. Di hari kedua, aku sadar kalau aku udah bisa ngomongin kamu dengan waktu yang lama. Entah karena apa atau mungkin karena sesimpel, you're that easy to love for people to note down what you said, unconsciously. Dimulai dari gimana kamu peduli dan mengasihi. Lalu tentang bagaimana kamu lebih memilih untuk memasak nasi goreng kamu. Semuanya aku ingat tanpa aku sadari dan rasanya gak asing; kamu gak asing. Seakan-akan kita udah kenal lama, udah sering berbincang. Udah saling menyayangi sebelumnya.

Ibra, Ibra sayang. Although you were only mine for a short while, I will still keep you in the warmest corner of my heart. Sampai kapanpun itu. Sampai kapanpun, namamu bakal selalu diingat sebagai seseorang yang pernah aku sayang dan menyayangi aku, seutuhnya.

Ibra, Ibra sayang. Thank you for showing me that I'm worth loving. I can happily say that I now, know what love is.

Ibra, Ibra sayang. Kapan-kapan kita ketemu lagi, ya? My heart is always ready to beat along side of yours.

Dengan penuh kasih sayang,
A.

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I really never would have thought anyone would be able to understand the way I love until you. My way of loving is indeed gruesome and violent, yet all the while wrapped in tenderness and it was no surprise that you embodied it all perfectly like we’d existed within the same wavelength. I loved every second we’ve spent together, like the world was ours and we’re its only tenants, slow-dancing amidst the everlasting madness. Needless to say, it’s no surprise that you were able to love me exactly the way I wish to be loved.

You’ve embraced me with such warmth and comfort, and I will eternally be grateful to you for becoming the muse to the writings I think will be among the ones I am most proud of.

I think it’s appropriate that I leave the little excerpt of one of my favorite Soe Hok Gie’s writings I’ve previously shown you to end this on a good note:

Tapi aku ingin mati disisimu, manisku
Setelah kita bosan hidup dan terus bertanya-tanya
Tentang tujuan hidup yang tak satu setan pun tau.

I hope I’ve left a mark on you just as you’ve left a mark on me.

—— Your sacred May.

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hewwo kakak! thank you for the steamy night that made me all red... adek selama sesi sama kakak dibikin blushing mulu :< adek bilang adek suka kalo ditease dan kakak beneran ga tahan-tahan ngetease adeknya sampai adek kewalahan sendiri... suka banget. kakak juga gentle banget, sesekali nanyain adek kalau adek gapapa atau ga huf adek kalau kalak kayak gitu pengen peluk aja rasanya. kakak sayang, adek mau ketemu lagi... udah kangen. mau disayang-sayang, dipeluk lagi bobonya sampai pagi. mau dibayiin lagi sama kakak (nangis, adek kangen banget). kakak jangan kaget ya kalo adek tiba-tiba dateng lagi :D adek sayang kakaaak banyak-banyak. mwa mwa mwa. see you very soon kakak sayang ♡

punya kakak,
adek cantiknya kakak

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Terima kasih banyak udah nemeniin aku selama tiga hari ini. Everything about you make me happy. Aku seneng banget bisa ngobrol sama kamu banyak hal dan ternyata kita punya banyak kesamaan!! Feel so warm whenever we talk about book that we love. Thank you Ibby for always make sure about me when it goes to rain🥲, it really help me a lot!!. Jaga kesehatan ya ibby semoga semua kerjaan kamu cepat selesai. See you really soon, i guess?. Lets meet in place we can watch movie together and hugging until feel asleep.

- Your Princess 🌻

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You have proven the theory that sincere feelings do not have to appear only after a long period of time, Bibs. Like people would say: "You had me at Hello." You really did.

Thank you for being my sanctuary for those few hours that night, though temporary, the things we shared, and the endearments we exchanged will stay with me for an indefinite period of time.

You seem to have life and all its challenges in your grip too, that's one of the wonderful qualities you have. Hope we'll get a chance to meet each other again soon, and know each other better.

Stay healthy, may happiness and love continue to be in your way. ♡ Xx, C.

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Joy Harjo said "The world begins at a kitchen table." And mine, my world, apparently, begins when you sit across from me at our kitchen table. With our plates filled with dishes after dishes.

Ibra, by the time I am writing this, I am still asking myself whether the last 4 days I spent with you were all a dream or not. They're not, though. They're not but they so feel like one. I never thought I'd find someone who would listen to me rambling about food, so fondly. And someone who would also think that the act of sharing meals and making sure our loved ones eat are one of the many ways to show love. And someone who would willingly give me their meals update.

I never knew a love like yours exists. But I found you and all of a sudden things just started to make sense. And for that, I don't think I can ever thank you enough. One thing for sure, thank you for always making sure that our dining table is a safe place. For loving me whole and for holding my hand through it all.

Just like Ladin said, "I have engraved your name on the palms of my hand." I have engraved yours on mine so I'll always remember you and your name. I'll take a glimpse at my palms and see your name and my mind will instantly travel back to the days we shared. I'll look at your name that spells out love and remember you— someone with so much love stored in every part of you. Your hands, take care of your hands, for there are tons and tons of love stored in both of your hands. And your beating heart, take good care of it, for every thump screams out love, for you carry a huge amount of love in it. I can say as far as; you, are love personified.

I want you to always eat well. Even when I am not there to wish you to do so, and when I am not there to see what kind of meals you're having, please eat well. Please eat, and eat, and enjoy every bite of your meals. And I, too, will make sure that I myself eat well. Everyday. I want us both to eat well, until the day we can be with each other again. When we see each other again, if we're lucky enough to get the chance, let's share more meals, share more songs, talk about more poems, and create more memories.

Until we meet again, Ibra. ♡

P.s in the next lifetime, I'd make sure to find you all over again. I'd find you through the thumps of your heart.

—Your little one, I.

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kakakkk thanks for one day that i could spend with you and thanks for treat me so so well🌷 AAAAA i'm so glad to know you and share love with youu♡ kakak chatty banget! gentle, very bery hot guy, good at pampering and teasing her baby hshdjxnsk kakak juga sweet parahh- sweetest boyfie!! also caring person, clingyyyyy suka ngasih haggu sama kitth banyak banyaaaaak buat adek dan pda nya juga gemes banget^^ you're my dream boyfie, honestly HSGDNXJDN POKOKNYA BEST BOYFIE IN A WHOOOLE WORLD harus dikasih banyak pialaaa😼🏆 AND I REALLY ENJOYED TO BE YOUR KITTEN🐾 hufftt semoga kakak ndak bosen yaa kalo keseringan ketemu adek(◞ ‸ ◟ㆀ)

kakakkk sayangnya adek jaga kesehatan yaa!! ini wajib!! kalo ndak nanti adek marah(๑•̀д•́๑) mamam yang bener, minum air putih sama vitamin juga jangan lupaa!! semoga sehat dan bahagia selalu kakakk!! adek loooove kakakk berry berry much*´ㅅ`)ﾞ♥

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heyy, randia ibra, please do forgive me to fill this padlet too late, im sorry for my tardiness. it's almost a month but i still remember the details of our conversation back then.

thank you for the 2 days full of love, thank you for being my one text away. thank you so much for keep me calmed on my kinda-bad day because this and that with your super duper mega heartwarming words. im not willing to forget your advices, i will keep that in my mind, always. thank you for being a verrrrrry good guy and the gentle one. i always enjoyed my time when im with you.

ibra, kalo kamu lagi baca ini, sampai jumpa dibulan-bulan berikutnya. ngga sabar buat nonton percy jackson bareng kamu. i do miss you, already. please have a good sleep and eat well yaa, stay healthy and happy, you deserve all the good things in this world.

🌹S

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was about to go all sappy on you again (real sappy! not sange and happy as you said to me!) but then i realized every time i went all soft and poetic kamunya malah ngeledekin aku, so i won't do that anymore. males banget bucin ke lu. gadeng canda, we both know how far i'm gone for you.

ibraaaa, thank you for the one day i get to call you mine. you were so sweet at first (swoons), but as the day progresses i feel we started to bond and our convo just flows naturally karena kamu "si paling convobuild, ice breaker, attentive listener" (ibra's words guys, not mine). beneran baca ulang chat kita dari awal kayak bukan kita yang sekarang, anjay gak?

we really went from that ons session to sweet lovers to fuck buddies to (self-proclaimed) bff now, we've really come a long way! seru banget, every moment with you is never dull, asalkan kamu gak lupa aja, dory.

one thing about you: kamu baik banget. baiknya kelewat baik. makasih banyakk udah mau nemenin aku main-main (sfw), main-main (nsfw), curhat malem, and most of all you handling me being clingy and needy. god knows how much i made a mess, forgive me for clinging on ya, biw.

ini aku sign off padletnya sesuai yang kamu mau ya, jelek.

with love,
lontenya ibra <3

p.s: hope my heart isn't being burdensome by making itself home in you, dearest

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Can't get you off of my mind even days after our night. You're one hell of a wonder, everything my body had wished to lay upon.  At this point, I feel like I'll always come back to you everytime the world allow us to.

Thank you for the night, fuck buddy. I'll make sure that one won't be our last. And if you're one of his lover-to-be, looking for some reassurance: go spend every second with him. He'll take you to paradise.

Your little fucktoy, R.

P.s: A song for you.

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Hi! First off, I would like to apologize for taking a lot longer to send this because I forgot. I have the memory of a goldfish, sorry! T___T

Thank you for loving me, Ibra, and allowing me to love you back. I will always treasure the days I spent with you. It may be short but God knows how much I love you in that two days. You’re thoughtful, and I like that about you. You also have a way with words and everything you said is just heart-wrenching.

You’re cute without even realizing it (which makes you even cuter) and I like the way you talk about your cat! I could spend eternity listening to you ramble about him.

Ibra, you’re simply the best person I have ever met. Thank you.

For whoever thinking about renting him and is reading this, please contact Ibra’s manager as soon as possible! The best thing one could ever experience is being loved by Ibra!

Your little love,
L.

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It was such a great one night with you, Papi. I'm so thankful that i decided to reach you again that night. I miss you like everyday, literally every minutes. It was a short time but i already fall for you, yourself, this hard. Kitten will be back to give you more miaaw...

From love,
Adek

p.s. I miss you and i always do.

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Our secret to live for and love to die for.

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Our secret to live for and love to die for.

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Remember I asked you if you could keep up with me in the beginning? I ended up being the one on a leash.

You're sweet without being overbearingly corny, everything is the right amount. My favorite thing was when you lit your cigarette and watch me made a mess out of myself on top of you (definitely not when you call me names and broke me into a babbling mess at your disposal 🙄🖤). I love how you always yearn for me, that you can't seem to keep your hands off me. How you always speak of my body as if it's worth worshipping. You are the wake of my every desire and I am hooked on your chaos.

Nothing about us feels like a mere sweet promise, as we never feel the need to say it. As if we know what's on each other mind, and we'll eventually find our way back to each other to burn the world together. I'll miss the times when we imagine ourselves skinny dipping in a stranger's house and steal their expensive champagne. I'll miss the songs we play as we make out on top of our mess. 24 hours in a day is not enough and it's a lot considering how I always dread for the day to end. I am glad to find a piece of myself within you.

You're not pretentious nor the love you utter feels scripted. I thought it was our shared astrology placements, I've always been the one to believe that fate is given. But I believe there lies something more than what's cosmically written for us. No half truths or deceit.

I see you're still keeping a picture of me in your wallet, keep it there for whenever you miss me.

- The Chung to your Turner, forever will I be your little devil.

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Hi hello ibra! This is your not so doll.. hehe, uhm aku mau ucapin makasih banyak untuk seminggu belakangan ini! Aku bener bener seneng bisa ngehabisin waktu bareng kamu, ibra hangat banget orangnya, dia tipe bf yang akan nurutin semua mau kamu asal itu baik buat kamu sih tapi ibra juga kadang galak, serem 😔 TAPI BUKAN GALAK YANG JELEK KOK cuma biar akunya nurut hehe dan aku emang ngerasa aku butuh ini sih. Anyway ibra is a flirty ass guy.

Ibra ibra ibra, selama sama kamu aku bener bener merasa disayangi dan diperhatikan. Kamu selalu kirim text kangen padahal aku ada sama kamu terus, dasar. Ibra juga nggak pernah ninggalin aku tanpa kabar, and i do appreciate for that. Ibra suka cerita banyak hal, dari hal kecil sampai hal aneh. Ibra juga bisa clingy and mature, kamu pinter banget menempatkan diri. POKOKNYA HEBAT BANGET KAYA SUPERMAN. Makasih banyak ya?

Untuk NSFW session with ibra.. GRRR BARK BARK. 🥰 intinya.. dia itu super gentle, kamu selalu utamain kenyamanan ku dan kamu pinter banget teasingnya, jujur aku speechless soal itu HAHAH.

Actually aku bukan yang bisa banyak berkata kata, tapi ketemu sama ibra aku bener bener merasa bersyukur. Aku nggak akan henti ucapin makasih atas waktu dan perhatian kamu. Kalau bisa aku kasih satu dunia bakal aku kasih ke kamu. Ibra is all you need. Aku harap kamu ngga bosen kalau nanti kita ketemu lagi ya? :(( semoga nanti kita bisa pda lebih seru lagi, mungkin? Take care of yourself, please. So... see you!

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to the one who hasn't left my mind ever since.

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to the one who hasn't left my mind ever since.

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safe to say you have exceeded my expectation. i was nervous for the fact that we didn't have any session before last night, only for you to cease my fear in minutes. God, my Ibra did so well last night. i was really surprised how you could grasp my likings and whatnots in such a short amount of time. you did everything you could to include most of them in the limited time we had. you really listened to what i said and you perfectly executed them, sayang. you also made sure i was doing alright every once in a while. how sweet.

talking to you felt so natural too, i felt like i have known you for ages and i didn’t need to think twice about what i was going to say. if comfort was a person, it would be in the shape of you.

oh and i was also surprised that turns out, we’re into so much in common. and oh, boy, the second it ended i find myself dreaming about our next meeting already. who knows if it will be my turn to fulfill your deepest fantasy?

—sayangnya mas ibra, A.

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a longing soul finally finds her most favorite full stop.

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a longing soul finally finds her most favorite full stop.

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hi, papi... 🥺

aku bahkan bingung harus mulai dari mana. kata orang, kalau sudah terlalu tenggelam dalam sebuah rasa, kita kerap lupa bagaimana caranya mengutarakan isi hati dan pikiran lewat aksara. aku yang biasa mampu menulis berlembar-lembar rentetan keluh dan syukur pun kini dibuat bungkam. sir ibra ... punya kekuatan itu. kekuatan yang ajaibnya mirip sihir; rapal yang buat tenang, hangat yang utuh tanpa kurang.

aku sebut di pembukaan tadi; aku ini anak yang lama merindu. enggak tau apa yang dicari, enggak paham soal mengolah rasa, juga enggak ingat perihal dikasihi sampai ke tulang. tapi begitu sir ibra muncul, kalau boleh aku gambarkan, mungkin akan jadi seperti digenggam hati-hati sembari berjalan menyusuri pantai kala mentari tenggelam. atau ... mirip seperti dipeluk erat, dibisikkan semua akan baik-baik saja dan saya di sini ketika menangis sambil meraung.

cukup perihal analogi. tiap orang kan punya caranya sendiri untuk melihat tautan hati. lalu, apa yang buat aku tertambat? secara jujur ... semuanya???? cara sir ibra bertutur, bagaimana lembutnya bicara atau bagaimana sir ibra terus-terusan memberi afirmasi positif. enggak usah takut soal ini-itu kalau ada sir ibra. kamu akan aman, dijaga baik-baik sekali. oh, humornya juga buat aku buta akan realita ... alias, he's hilarous in the best way possible.

kayaknya cocok sekali kalau dibilang bahwa sir ibra ini tipe insan yang jiwa-raganya indah. dipandang dengan mata menawan, diajak bersua dengan hati pun sir ibra dermawan. kalau diizinkan lagi nanti-nanti, anak yang satu ini akan datang kembali. dan kalau aku saja mau datang kembali, kamu yang baca ini pun aku ramal pasti akan inginkan hal yang sama.

untuk papi ... terima kasih. :c dua harinya betulan too good to be true. akan selalu aku jagaaaaaaaa && enggak akan aku lepas! hehehe. sampai ketemu lagi nanti? 🤍 donut! 🍩

salam sayang,
si cengeng yang petakilan. :p

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Once our session started, I immediately got washed over by sadness because I knew we were only meant to spend 2 hours with one another. If I had been more patient, we could've been together for days (I'm very much bummed about, Ibra). You were gentle and sweet, you kept praising and telling me that I did well. I became so vulnerable in your presence and I've never been like so with anyone. My favourite moment was when you left a light kiss on my forehead when I cried. It was... God, it was everything I've ever dreamed of my first time. Mas, I really haven't stopped thinking about the praises you showered me with during such a steamy session. You were so good with them, I became comfortable with you so quickly which I didn't think I would. You're honestly a dream. You're hot (very) and attractive, yet gentle. And I love how you kept referring to me as "sayang" and "love". Those are my favourite pet names. Sekali lagi, terima kasih sudah menjadi seseorang yang lembut. Thank you for taking care of me, mas. I promise to see you again, soon.

(Mau pacaran sama mas kapan-kapan, boleh ya?)

- L.

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hai, kakak sayang. belum apa apa tapi aku udah kangen aja nih huhu :c anyway, i had a really great greaaat time with you even though it was only for a few hours. and as i’ve already said before, i love how you always made sure that everything was okay. i love how you’re so attentive and gentle AND very very patient. well you were kinda mean at times but i also LOVE that of you, that’s one of your charming point. pokoknya makasih banyak ya ibra, aku bener bener ngerasa nyaman bgt padahal semalem sebelumnya aku agak nervous. but you managed to make me feel very veryyy comfortable and safe. i hope we can meet again soon ya! mau bgt pacaran sama kamu :c would love to know how it feels to be showered with love by you… huhu nangis. anyway, stay safe and healthy ya, kakak sayang. until next time! ♡

with much love,
cantiknya kak ibra.

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i genuinely don’t know where to start, but i’ll try to form a coherent thought for this because you’ve been sososo wonderful to me even though it was just for a few hours!

ngl i was actually very nervous all day before our session since it’d be my first time doing that. i thought i wouldn’t be able to reply or to be enthusiastic since (i thought) it’d be awkward. but being with you makes me feel so comfortable, even from the start, during our pre-session discussion.

duh, beneran gimana ya, ibra manis banget, hangat banget, but could be so mean and rough when he’s in it. our session is way better than i imagine it’d be! ibra, kamu beneran dengerin apa yang aku mau, apa yang aku gak mau, dan bahkan ngasih aku yang sesuatu aku kira gak bakal mau aku lakuin in the first place (god i never thought i’d call someone the d word at all), and so much more.

terus kenapa kamunya juga gemes banget sih.. i think those moments when you’re trying to get me to calm down yang bikin aku pusinggg banget. like i said, if you could see me, you’d see my face all red.

AAAAA apa lagi ya, kayaknya masih banyak yang pengen aku bilang padahal beneran cuman 3 jam aja kita… honestly, you called me needy tapi it’s just the Ibra Effect deh, me thinks.

well, in short, i’m so glad you were my first! beneran, you make me feel so safe and comfortable sampe aku lupa diri deh haha. if you see me again jangan kaget ya :p

with love,
sayangnya ibra

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To my dearest Sunset,

Thank you for the companion and the all of the beautiful words you ever made for me. I do really enjoy your companion, the affection, the sincerity of your love and all of the things we do. I never felt this warm before and thank you for letting me feel that warm again, Ibra.

Please do promise me to hold my hand and seeing the sunset together from your window next time, okay? I will miss having my cheeks getting red and blushed all over face because of you calling me Love and My [rahasia ini milik berdua].

Mm- see you later, my Sunset?

Your Sunset Chaser. 💐🌥

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Yes, hi! This is your doll, hereby I wanna said thankyou so much for the day. You're such a funny, humble also pervert guy. Wolfie, thank you for pouring aliveness within my wrecked heart. For you, I promise to grow into something bewitching, and together, we could have our forevermore. Immensely happy, and insanely in love. Always. The oath has been spoken from my lips, I hope it leads you to a serenity beyond words and any utterance ever spoken. My vow to you is draped truth and longing, for you have set me free form the treacherous fate I dwelled myself within.

Now in bahasa.
HIII DUMBASSS aku seneng bisa ketemu kamu! Banyak hal yang kita bicarain dan you're such a great listener. Maaf kalau eksistensi kamu harus bersaing sama sukuna 🥰 next time aku mau kasih tau kamu kucingku karena kemarin belum sempet, soalnya pusing. I'll see you very soon? That's all! Danke.

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Hi, champ.
By the time I write this, I finally understood what you mean when you said "And in the last few pages, the words would be all slurred and blurry (...) I'd be too overwhelmed with the love I carry." Because that's exactly how I feel right now while trying to form sentences that'll do our short time together justice. But here, I'll try my best and hope you'll still understand even when I'm slurring.

Three days with you felt like as if we've known each other forever. The way we connect, communicate and come to an understanding of one another truly makes me feel safe and seen. Ibra, even when we're just mumbling and not saying anything meaningful to one another—it feels comfortable. I love how you hold me and I love how you ground me. You're so loveable and gentle, Ibra. It's so easy to fall and be in love with you. I adore you for being able to show me a part of myself that I've never seen before. And most importantly, I adore the way you love.

Like what Siken wrote, to some people a love that's larger than a romantic love, the one where it's treated like a religion is terrifying. But here's the thing, if these people ever got the chance to meet you and witness the way you love with devotion, they'll turn into a believer and pray to be loved with such depth and length.

And I'm also always reminded about you when Gibson said—"Come teach me a kinder way to say my own name." I hope you know that my name also feel safe when it's spoken by you and I do mean it when I say that you're someone that I could sit in water with. For hours and days. Even until my skin wrinkles and I feel like drowning.

So, dearest Ibra, thank you for showing me a different shade of love and giving me the chance to experience it. For some time from now on, my mind won't be able to separate you with the idea of love. Which is a good thing, it proofs that everything is an effect with you, even in mundanities.

I hope you eat well today, tomorrow, and the day after. Always. Until we meet again.

—R.

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haiii ibra im sorry, i know this is super late.. super duper sorry :(
thank you for a wonderful day, back then. im glad that i can spent my day with you. you are such a nice nice nice nice nice person. im sorry for just grumbled and grumbled... thank you for calmed me down, your words.. as sweet as chatime that i bought yesterday...

andddd anyway guyssssss, it's really nice having ibra as your boyfriend!! he is a man y'all looking for!!! come joined me as ibra's (ex) lover 😎😝

ok... actually im bad at saying goodbye, so "see you again", i guess? see you really really soon, ibra!!!! setelah kestressan duniawiku berakhir mau ketemu lagi :p daaaahh i looove youuu

ㅡa girl who bought flowers on her way home 🌹

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take my hand and together we shall wander the garden of eden forevermore

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take my hand and together we shall wander the garden of eden forevermore

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mas, to claim the time we spent together steamy and saucy is definitely an understatement. it's one for the books. if anyone seeing this is looking for a partner to act out their fantasies with them and still hesitate to fill out Ibra's form, this is your cue. that's right, do it. initial warning: may get your head stuck on cloud nine even after it all ends and makes you crave more for the waves of pleasure only he can give you.

now let's talk about him for a hot minute. (it's just a regular minute but it's him we're talking about, that's why it's hot. no judgement, please.) he may seem hard to approach with an intimidating exterior, but underneath it all, he carries an overflowing amount of love and warmth within. he was able to handle me with tenderness and so much care, he managed to make me feel safe in his own ways. even with words of affirmation being nowhere near his top three love languages, love is evident in every word he says. he is the epitome of solace. he’s a dream and beyond. once you enter his gravity of affection and admiration, you’ll never want to leave.

mas ibra, please take a good care of yourself and make sure you have enough rest. you deserve every bit of good thing the world has to offer.

yours truly,

mahiswara

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Hi there, Kakak. How greatful i was for having kakak as my favourite person a.k.a boyriend. Kakak yang baik, kakak yang lucu, kakak yang pangku aku sampai pegel wkwk, kakak yang peluk aku erat banget, kakak yang biarin aku ndusel ke kakak, kakak yang nyebelin tapi aku suka, kakak yang dengerin aku, kakak yang ngerti aku, kakak yang selalu mengapresiasi aku, kakak yang jenius, kakak yang bijak, kakak yang paling keren.  Thank you for saying that i'm worth. Thank you, Kakak. It was a very short time and i still want more more more and more time with you. Kakak, it's not fair if i'm happy and you're not. So, please be happy. See you very soon. I hope our day will be brighter than yesterday. Have a loveliest day, Kakak.

p.s. you're the coolest and it just is.

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hehe kak ibra aku kira kamu galak (emang galak keliatannya) tapi ternyata soft banget dan gentle banget. aku awalnya malu karena itu pertama kali aku ons-an sama seseorang, jadinya kalau kemarin akunya kebanyakan diem, maaf ya T___T tapi kak ibra beneran kerasa aman banget, cara kak ibra ngomong tuh bikin merasa aman jadi aku langsung percaya kamu dari awal <3 makasih juga udah selalu nanya" yang aku suka dan gak suka yaaa, kamu baik banget

nanti kapan" ketemu lagi ya tapi aku mau pacaran beneran nanti :[ take care kakak sayang, thank you lagi ❤️‍🩹

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Could never thank you enough karena udah nemenin aku semalem dan ngajarin aku beberapa hal... It was steamy. Very steamy. Kamu sabar dan mastiin aku nyaman atau gak. And your words. Aku gak tau udah berapa kali blushing karena kata-kata kamu... Thank you for taking care of me ya, mas. Will for sure come back for another round.

Sincerely, adek

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ibbyku, thank you udah nemenin aku selama 2 hari ya aku seneeeng banget ketemu kamu. 2 hari rasanya cepet banget deh, sedih. kapan kapan aku bakal balik lagi buat ibby! aku janjiii. ibby makasih ya udah sabar sama aku yang bawel, yang clingy, dan susah dibilangin kalo mau makan... ibby sabar banget :( ibby jaga kesehatan ya, bye bye ibby take care

with love,
mbul