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A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, "Uh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard. "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!" Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear. "Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says. "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"

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search in google for teen posts or if you have a Pinterest account then search there.

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http://www.boredpanda.com/

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Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."

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Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

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Jerky guy:Knock know

Some smart person: Okay dude, very funny, I'm trying to do homework

that the fat cow gave

me and you can super glue ur mouth and stay in a hole and stop making

my day horrible thank you very much >:l

Jerky guy: .....    D:

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Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

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Knock Knock :3

Whos there?

Jo mama :T

Jo mama who??

Shame on you, u forgot your MOM  D:

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When I'm bored nobody texts me....

But as soon as I'm busy

BAM!!!!!!!!

still nobody texts me.

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Son - "Dad, Can you drive me to school today?"

Dad - "Son, when abraham lincoln was ur age he walked 10 miles to get to school!"

Son - "Well dad, When abraham Lincoln was ur age he was president!"

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Dad - "Son, if you do not pass that exam then forget me as your father...

Son - "whatever dad"

5 HOURS LATER...

Dad - "How was your exam son?"

Son - "who the hell are you?!"

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Yo momma is so stupid when a ransacker broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

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Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."

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Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

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omgg the one where it says fat cow gives u hw omg i can't stop loling

ya das rite ingaaa

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no teacher i do not know the answer thats why my hand was not raised

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Two mental patients were walking next to a swimming pool. One jumped into the pool and the other jumped in to save him. Their doctor saw the rescue and called the rescuer to his office. "Due to your actions, it appears your mental state is fine," the doctor said to the patient, "You can go home to your family, but before you do, you should know that the person you saved hung himself today." The patient replied, "He didn't hang himself; I hung him there to dry."

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If pigs could fly... that Mexican dude over there

would have wings

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read it (Sandeepa)    Comment from Inga: ITS AWESOME U MUST READ IT!!!!

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read it (Sandeepa)    Comment from Inga: ITS AWESOME U MUST READ IT!!!!

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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT ANNOYING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

The Teacher fainted.

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knock knock..

Who's there?

Disc...

Disc... who?

U just got disconnected dude?

-_- (lame)

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To find more funny jokes... go to this website  :3

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To find more funny jokes... go to this website  :3

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http://www.laughfactory.com/jokes/latest-jokes

And plz write them down here if u think they're awesome!
and let it be appropriate (-_-) (meaning no bad words etc...

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Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.

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Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

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Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

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Went to the corner shop, bought four corners.

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Uno those awkward moments when you're

laughing at someting really funny on the

internet then your mom/dad comes and

says " Aren't you supposed to be doing

your homework??? and what are you

laughing at?" then you just stop laughing

and look serious...