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Don't be cruel. Yes having a disbaled kid can and does make things really really hard, I'm not denying that or saying you can't talk about it, but don't make it out that your kid doesn't 'appreciate what you do' are a 'burden' that they'll lucky you take care of them and so on. This is fucked up and makes it out that its is a moral failing to be disabled, and selfish to have needs. I'm going to be very blunt, whenever there's a story of a disabled kid being denied water or mediciation or food or dignity this is the mindset behind it. Your anger at this is just performative if you've 5 seconds away from deeming a kid to be too annoying or not working hard enough for limiting or taking what they need away from them. Kids and disabled kids don't exist for you sense of being a Good Person you are not good or kind if you treat them as a burden to be dealt with with not people and that they should be 'grateful' you are a danger to their life and wellbeing.

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Don't be cruel. Yes having a disbaled kid can and does make things really really hard, I'm not denying that or saying you can't talk about it, but don't make it out that your kid doesn't 'appreciate what you do' are a 'burden' that they'll lucky you take care of them and so on. This is fucked up and makes it out that its is a moral failing to be disabled, and selfish to have needs. I'm going to be very blunt, whenever there's a story of a disabled kid being denied water or mediciation or food or dignity this is the mindset behind it. Your anger at this is just performative if you've 5 seconds away from deeming a kid to be too annoying or not working hard enough for limiting or taking what they need away from them. Kids and disabled kids don't exist for you sense of being a Good Person you are not good or kind if you treat them as a burden to be dealt with with not people and that they should be 'grateful' you are a danger to their life and wellbeing.

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Stop trying to say you have it worse than me: it's exhausting

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Don't tell me I can do something if I tell you I can't

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youre not even bothering to understand.

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My panic attacks won't be helped by you telling me I'm overre

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My panic attacks aren't helped by you telling me I'm overreacting

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You

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When I tell you about my feelings.  Don't tell me "no, you don't feel that."

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When I tell you about my feelings. Don't tell me "no

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Just because another family member has the same condition and they manage doesn't mean it isn't bad for me.

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Just because another family member has the same condition and they manage doesn't mean it isn't bad for me.

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I love you but I'm really sick of being treated like garbage when I don't do things in the perfect way you want them to be done

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Just because I look "normal" doesn't make me that way.

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Just because I look "normal" doesn't make me that way.

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I get it. You wanted a perfect kid. You wanted a perfect little kid who'd get great grades, go off to college and be able to support you later in life. I get that you are frustrated that it's not what I am. But I'd really appreciate you doing more than telling me to just change. Just telling me to get over my troubles. You don't know me perfectly. It is impossible for you to fully comprehend the mental torture I go through. Believe me when I say what I put you through isn't as bad as what I put myself through just for existing.

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don't associate mental illness with low intelligence

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don't associate mental illness with low intelligence

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when i'm bullied, don't let the school blame it on me being 'weird' and 'encouraging them'. the school should be stopping this, not shrugging and ignoring it.

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I'm not lazy, I have executive dysfunction. No I'm not making that up. I'm not ignoring you, I'm partially nonverbal. No I'm not making that up.

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Stop using functioning labels as if the fact you see me as "high functioning" completely erases the fact that I'm autistic.

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I'm disabled. You don't get to decide whether that's true or not.

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I'm disabled. You don't get to decide whether that's true or not.

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My abilities are limited, you have no authority to set where that limit is. You try anyway and you set it way to high

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If you don't tell your kid their autistic, they'll think their a monster. 

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If you don't tell your kid their autistic, they'll think their a monster. 

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i dont give a flying f*ck if i dont "act disabled"

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i dont give a flying f*ck if i dont "act disabled"

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i am developmentally disabled. it's what i am, and there's nothing wrong with it.

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know

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i won't be able to work a 9-5. i don't have the energy, and i can't do the things you can.

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do you know how much more well adjusted and how much higher my self confidence would be if you just told me i was autistic? i thought i didn't deserve to live for years.

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i can't remember multistep directions, and i need them written down. screaming at me won't change that.

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Your autistic child is not just being lazy or contrary. Sometimes things

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You are NOT the victim

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don't tell people about what's 'wrong' with me unless i tell you to. my disability isn't a talking point for you at family gatherings.

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DON'T pretend like my disability doesn't

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Do not belittle me - I know What I can or cannot

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I didn't find out dad has dyslexia till I was 17, that's nothe fair that is MY medical history. What else did you

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Why can my brother have autism but I can't? Why does he deserve love and care and help more than me?

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My cane did not slow me down. It saved me

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I am in pain. Physical pain

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It hurt that you were medicated for depression when you wouldn't help me

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It hurt that you were medicated for depression when you wouldn't help me

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I cannot "just start using both hands" I had a STROKE. Use does not cure Cerebral Palasy

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i'm not suffering because i'm disabled, i'm suffering because of the abuse and discrimination i face because people would rather change me or even kill me and everyone else like me than accommodate and accept me for who i am

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Just because you wouldn't let me be diagnosed, doesn't mean I wasn't hurting

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Just because you wouldn't let me be diagnosed, doesn't mean I wasn't hurting

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I forget how to do things I used to be able to do. I am not lazy as you think I am. I hate myself for this enough as it is. Please don't mock me

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Don't allow your autistic, nonverbal adult son to get away with things that your other child aren't able to do. Saying, "He can eat that five week old nugget because if he dies I know where he is headed." is nothing short of mind boggling neglect.

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If you can't care for me, find someone who can! Listen to to your child's caregiver, if they're good they'll learn how we communicate and work within that framework. Don't be afraid to ask for help if we overwhelm you with our needs.

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you do not get to be abusive to us because we are disabled

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Please don't give up on me

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Explain things to your young autistic/ADHD/otherwise neurodivergent child. Just saying "use your inside voice" doesn't solve anything if your kid doesn't know what an inside voice is. If you tell your kid to stop doing something, explain why. "Because I said so" is never a good enough answer. Your kid (whether disabled or not) deserves to understand.

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Forcing your anxious kid to do something that scares them is not an effective way to get them over their anxiety.

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Forcing your anxious kid to do something that scares them is not an effective way to get them over their anxiety.

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Just because you can't see it doesn't mean I'm making it up

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Just because you can't see it doesn't mean I'm making it up

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My symptoms are real.

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when I say getting a job is nearly impossible for me

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stop telling me that my invisible disability makes it easier for me. if it was visible at least people wouldn't try to tell me that I make it up for attention. which they do. constantly.

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don't you think that the actual well-being of your child is more important than what your neighbors/co-workers will think of me?

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don't base my worth on my "use to society"

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If your child tells you that they can or can not do something, don't tell them they're wrong. They know themselves far better than you do.

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try to show us positive representation of our disabilities. and if there isn't one, then make sure there will be in the near future (draw something yourself, write a short story, have s/o else do it etc.)

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I'm not distrusting you because of my mental illness but because you are constantly going against my will. just because I'm "not right in the brain" doesn't mean you can do whatever you like with me without any consequences.

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refusing me pain treatment for my invisible illness is abuse

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refusing me pain treatment for my invisible illness is abuse

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you ignoring my disability won't make it go away

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you ignoring my disability won't make it go away

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don't discourage me to seek professional help

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don't discourage me to seek professional help

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even when you personally don't see the point of therapy

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Just because I am good at talking to people doesn't mean it doesn't terrify me and doesn't mean i should be made to do it when you can't be bothered. Respect your child's mental state and don't force them to do things their disability stops them from doing

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YOU ARE NOT AN 'AUTISM PARENT'

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When I say "can't," I can't

When I say "help me," help me

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I wish you'd stop acting like it's my fault that I'm like this. It hurts that you will blame something I can't help on me to make yourself feel better. Don't you know I have it hard enough I don't need the blame game shoved upon me. 

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I wish you'd stop acting like it's my fault that I'm like this. It hurts that you will blame something I can't help on me to make yourself feel better. Don't you know I have it hard enough I don't need the blame game shoved upon me. 

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This is not about you and you are not a saint for doing what you committed to when you had a child - looking after them no matter what.

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I don't just 'need to get out more' or 'get a job'.

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Please trust my understanding of my body.

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Please trust my understanding of my body.

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When I make decisions, I have already thought about how my disability factors in.

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When you tell me you don't want to use videophone, you're telling me you don't want to talk to me.

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I'm so much more sad than you get to see.

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I'm so much more sad than you get to see.

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And I share that with almost no one. If I don't want to open up to you about how I'm feeling, please don't try to force me.

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Keep your expectations realistic but don't undersell us either.

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Do what you can to find a well adjusted adult with the same disability as your child. They will be able to teach your child so many things.

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Don't tell me to "advocate for myself" when the issue is institutionalized discrimination against me, a teen. I'd appreciate if you stood up for your child, or if you gave me pointers for learning how to cope.

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Is

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You having a milder version of what I'm suffering from as a child doesn't mean I should deal with it like you did

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If you see your child's illness... If you even for a second suspect they may have one, you need to be accommodating, research, and ask about it non judgementally

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I'm not lazy. The fact you can see my illness but choose to brush it off as laziness hurts me so much. I need accommodation and you know I can't ask for it myself

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I wish it hadn't taken 20+ years for you to realize how debilitating chronic mental illness can be. I wish you acknowledged now they have long term physical effects.

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You can't ever know how I feel, so listen when I tell you. Don't tell me I'm overreacting. Don't say I'm lying. Only I know how badly my pain hurts. Only I know what I'm capable of and when. Listen.

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listen to me when i tell you what you're doing wrong

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listen to me when i tell you what you're doing wrong

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you don't get kudos from me for keeping me alive as a child when i didn't ask you to

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you make me feel like i'm not allowed to hurt when you tell me other people have it worse off.

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you make me feel like i'm not allowed to hurt when you tell me other people have it worse off.

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Please stop telling me that you hurt too.  It makes me feel pathetic and shows me that you care more about yourself than you do me.

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Please stop telling me that you hurt too.  It makes me feel pathetic and shows me that you care more about yourself than you do me.

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Don't isolate me from my own community by highlighting how small my disability is and teaching me I'm somehow "better" than those with more showing disabilities

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Sometimes we're difficult. So are you.

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blaming everything I ever do differently to you or anyone else part of my disability

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Your friends thinking you're a saint because you have two disabled daughters does not actually make you a saint. In fact when you treat us like trash it makes you a monster.

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If you can't deal with your child not being your clone then you shouldn't have had a child.

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Don't coerce us into major commitments we're not sure we can do

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Don't coerce us into major commitments we're not sure we can do

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And especially don't be all "life's hard sometimes, deal with it" when it turns out we were right and we have to deal with the living hell you put us into all alone

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NEVER tell your child that any other parent would have killed them. Never make them think you're their sole salvation.

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NEVER tell your child that any other parent would have killed them. Never make them think you're their sole salvation.

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Don't tell your child they're not disabled

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I wish that I could have more friends but since I'm always "the weird kid", I'm not allowed to have to be accepted or to have friends.

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I don't get to choose when executive dysfunction strikes.

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I don't get to choose when executive dysfunction strikes.

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So when you ask me why I didn't do something and I tell you that's why, the appropriate response is not "Not that &^%# again!"

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Nothing you have to say about your child's disability means anything compared to what your child has to say about their disability.

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Nothing you have to say about your child's disability means anything compared to what your child has to say about their disability.

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Never tell your child that you know more about their life and experiences than they do.

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Please don't treat me like I'm bad or lazy. I really can't do that thing, even if you think it's easy. Please listen when I say I can't do it.

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Please don't treat me like I'm bad or lazy