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A guide to finding child care in your area

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Disclaimer

The child care programs in this database have a valid Fairfax County permit or State license on the date of the search. Updates to the database are made when information is made available to the Office of Children. Inclusion in the database does not represent an endorsement by Fairfax County. Screening child care programs and selecting child care is a parental responsibility.

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Disclaimer The child care programs in this database have a valid Fairfax County permit or State license on the date of the search. Updates to the database are made when information is made available to the Office of Children. Inclusion in the database does not represent an endorsement by Fairfax County.

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Community counseling and case management services for youth and families.

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Effective at 5 p.m. on March 27, 2020, all Fairfax County buildings are closed to the public; CSB Emergency Services on the Merrifield Center's Lower Level remains open.
If possible, before coming to the Merrifield Center, please call ahead to Emergency Services to see if you are able to be seen via telehealth services - phone or video.

During this time, CSB has transitioned mainly to telehealth services via Zoom for Healthcare, by phone or video.

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Mental health | Community Services Board

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Effective at 5 p.m. on March 27, 2020, all Fairfax County buildings are closed to the public; CSB Emergency Services on the Merrifield Center's Lower Level remains open. If possible, before coming to the Merrifield Center, please call ahead to Emergency Services to see if you are able to be seen via telehealth services - phone or video.

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Dept of Family Services financial and medical assistance

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Dept of Family Services financial and medical assistance

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The Department of Family Services cares about the safety and well-being of individuals and families, and is taking necessary actions to mitigate the risk of the COVID-19 (Coronavirus) within the community. Therefore, our Financial and Medical Assistance lobbies at each of our locations (Fairfax, South County, Annandale, and Lake Anne) will be closed to walk-in visitors starting Friday, Mar. 20, 2020.

We will continue to provide public assistance services remotely and you are encouraged to request Assistance from a Distance to complete any needed interactions. There are multiple ways to request help or contact us without having to go into the office. The following methods are available to you in order to reduce the risk of spreading COVID-19 (Coronavirus) and to support social distancing.

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Apply for Financial and Medical Assistance Benefits

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The Department of Family Services cares about the safety and well-being of individuals and families, and is taking necessary actions to mitigate the risk of the COVID-19 (Coronavirus) within the community. Therefore, our Financial and Medical Assistance lobbies at each of our locations (Fairfax, South County, Annandale, and Lake Anne) will be closed to walk-in visitors starting Friday, Mar.

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For immediate assistance with financial or other basic needs resources in Fairfax County.

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Executive Function Activities 18-36 months 

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Executive Function Activities 18-36 months 

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The Parent Resource Center  provides many resources and workshops related to issues of concern to our parents and caregivers.

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The Parent Resource Center Lending Library contains over 7,000 books, DVDs, and CDs on topics related to parenting and educating all children including those with learning challenges, mental health concerns, special needs, and disabilities.

COVID-19 (Coronavirus) Update *9/28/2020

The PRC is excited to offer access to our library resources. Our Library will be open for pick-up, on Wednesdays, by appointment only, starting September 30, 2020, 9:30 a.m. - 3:30 p.m.

Procedures for Checking out Materials

1. Choose Materials to be picked up

2. Contact the PRC: prc@fcps.edu or 703-204-3941 to reserve your materials and to make an appointment for pick-up.

3. Pick up materials

The Parent Resource Center library is located at 2334 Gallows Road, Entrance #1, Room 105, Dunn Loring, Virginia 22027 (map)

Call 703-204-3941 upon your arrival.

A PRC staff member will greet you at door 1 with requested materials for contactless pickup. Please follow recommended guidelines by wearing a mask.

If you can't get to us, we can use the inter‐library loan system within FCPS to send it to your child's school library. The school will contact you and make an appointment for pick up.

Procedures for Returning Materials

Return library materials to us 24/7 in our Book Return located at Entrance 1 of the Dunn Loring Center for Parent Services

Make an appointment with your child's school to return the materials in the provided envelope.

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The Parent Resource Center Lending Library contains over 7,000 books, DVDs, and CDs on topics related to parenting and educating all children including those with learning challenges, mental health concerns, special needs, and disabilities. The PRC is excited to offer access to our library resources.

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Executive Function Activities ages 3-5 years

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Executive Function Activities ages 3-5 years

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kdspradlin@fcps.edu
571 326-4724 or
703 503-3525

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Search for resources in your area - online search of Coordinated Services Planning

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Search for resources in your area - online search of Coordinated Services Planning

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Google Forms - create and analyze surveys, for free.

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Helping Children Learn Monthly Newsletter

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Helping Children Learn Monthly Newsletter

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School success ideas for parents, tailored to the ages of their children!

Disclaimer: This web page contains links to one or more web pages that are outside the FCPS network. FCPS does not control the content or relevancy of these pages.

Ayudando a los Niños a Aprender

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School success ideas for parents, tailored to the ages of their children! Disclaimer: This web page contains links to one or more web pages that are outside the FCPS network. FCPS does not control the content or relevancy of these pages. Ayudando a los Niños a Aprender

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CSEFEL: Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning

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The National Center for Effective Mental Health Consultation (CEMHC) addresses the needs of Early Head Start/Head Start (E/HS) staff and families for practical guidance on effective ways to promote young childrenís social and emotional development and reduce challenging behaviors.

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Support groups for parents and caregivers of children with developmental disabilities.

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Parents in a Pandemic:
A parent support group dedicated to maintaining family cohesion and development in the midst of global change.
Our provider partner Developmental Support Associates (DSA) is offering a virtual family support group for local families who care for children, youths, and young adults with developmental and/or behavioral challenges. The immediate goal is to help families collaborate with professionals and with each other in order to break out of isolation and share experiences, thought, feelings, and novel strategies for promoting personal and social growth.

Meetings will be held on Tuesday evenings at 5:30 - 6:30pm. Meetings are free, but pre-registration is required. Login information for the Zoom Meeting will be sent to registrants prior to the date of the meeting.
Register for June 9th Meeting: Register for June 23rd Meeting:

DSA has been serving individuals and families in our region since 2001, specializing in positive behavior support, in-home and community services, and the design and implementation of supports for individuals experiencing multiple challenges and complex support needs. To learn more about DSA, visit www.developmentalsupport.com .

For questions about the support group meetings, email Diane Monnig at dmonnig@thearcofnova.org .

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Virtual Parent Support Group - The Arc Northern Virginia

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Parents in a Pandemic: A parent support group dedicated to maintaining family cohesion and development in the midst of global change. Our provider partner Developmental Support Associates (DSA) is offering a virtual family support group for local families who care for children, youths, and young adults with developmental and/or behavioral challenges.

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Mom of two Emily Oster, the author of "Expecting Better" (the book that debunked the rules of pregnancy), has a new book out-"Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool." In this excerpt, she takes a scientific look at which toddler discipline tactics get results.

In Emily Oster's previous book, Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong-and What You Really Need to Know, the award-winning economist used data to disprove common pregnancy misconceptions (the dangers of consuming sushi, for example). With her latest title, excerpted here, she's graduated to the toddler and preschool years.

Nearly everyone who has parented a toddler-or who has been a toddler-has a tantrum story. When I sat down to write my new book on parenting, Cribsheet, I asked a few friends about this. My mom recounted in detail holding the bedroom door closed so my brother wouldn't get out during a tantrum-induced time-out. My friend Jenna reported that her mom is still angry about a tantrum episode Jenna had at age four in a Kmart.

Tantrums are at the more extreme end of toddler acting out, but toddlers act out in other ways as well. They can almost seem like scientists-experimenting with what is possible.

If I throw this half-eaten cauliflower stem at Mom and say, "I don't LIKE IT!," what will happen? The constant experimentation can be exhausting and confusing, but the somewhat good news is that there are evidence-based approaches to dealing with discipline.

I say "somewhat good" since there is no magic bullet that will completely stop tantrums and turn your two-year-old into a seven-year-old. Instead, parenting interventions focus on how to respond to bad behavior when it starts and limit recurrence.

There are a few specific examples of these, including 1‑2‑3 Magic, the Incredible Years, Triple P-Positive Parenting Program, and so on. Broadly, all these emphasize a few key elements.

How to discipline a toddler? 29 toddler discipline tactics that workFirst, recognize that children are not adults, and you usually cannot improve their behavior with a discussion. If your four-year-old is taking their shirt off in the museum, they will not respond to a reasoned discussion about how you actually do need to wear a shirt in public places. The flip side of this-more important-is that you shouldn't expect them to respond to adult reasoning. And as a result, you should not get angry the way you would if, say, your spouse was stripping in the museum and didn't stop after you explained why they shouldn't.

All these interventions emphasize not getting angry. Don't yell, don't escalate, and definitely don't hit. Controlling parental anger is the first central part of the intervention.

This is so easy to say, but it is often so hard to do. It takes practice on your part.

Second, these approaches all emphasize setting up a clear system of rewards and punishments and following through on them every time. For example, 1‑2‑3 Magic develops a system of counting (to three, obviously) in the face of disruptive behavior, and if three is reached, there is a defined consequence (a time-out, loss of a privilege, etc.).

Finally, there is a strong emphasis on consistency. Whatever the system you use, use it every time. If the consequence of counting to three is a time-out, then there needs to be a time-out every time.

As an extension, if you say no to something, you stick to no. And similarly, do not make threats you cannot carry out.

The evidence that these work is based on a number of randomized controlled trials.

To give an example, a paper published in 2003 in the Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry reported on an evaluation of 1‑2‑3 Magic among 222 families. All the parents involved were looking for help managing their children's behaviour, although none of the children had clinical behaviour problems. That is to say, they were just engaging in the standard difficult behaviours.

The intervention was fairly light-parents attended three two-hour meetings that discussed the 1‑2‑3 Magic approach, and were shown videos and given handouts about particular problem issues. There was a fourth two- our meeting a month later to reinforce.

The experimental group-the one that got the intervention-had improvements on all the variables measured. The parents scored better on measures of parenting-i.e., "Are you hostile and angry toward your child?"-and the children scored better on a variety of measures of behaviour. Moreover, the parents reported that their children were better behaved and more compliant, and that their own stress had gone down. The authors noted the effect sizes were not enormous-it would be hard to expect huge effects, given how limited the intervention was-but they were large enough for parents to notice them and affect their time with their children.

What about the more annoying things? Like, say, your kid insisting on singing the same song 50 times in a row? Just as an example.

You probably need to live with those. One of the main tenets of these parenting approaches is that discipline should be reserved for actual bad behaviour, not for things that are merely annoying.

Excerpted from CRIBSHEET:A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool by Emily Oster. Reprinted by arrangement of Penguin Press, part of the Penguin Random House company. Copyright (c) 2019 by Emily Oster.

Read more:
An age-by-age guide to disciplining your kid
Toddler time outs: They're not a bad thing

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Toddler discipline methods that ACTUALLY work, according to Emily Oster, a data-obsessed economist and mom of two

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Mom of two Emily Oster, the author of "Expecting Better" (the book that debunked the rules of pregnancy), has a new book out-"Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool." In this excerpt, she takes a scientific look at which toddler discipline tactics get results.

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INOVA Partnership for Healthier Communities

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INOVA Partnership for Healthier Communities

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Providing uninsured children and adults a link to appropriate and affordable healthcare services

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Partnership for Healthier Communities

Partnership for Healthier Communities

Intake and Enrollment Assistance

8110 Gatehouse Road, Falls Church, VA 22042 Questions? Call 855-694-6682

Nationals

Spirit

Washington Football Team

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Contact Us: Inova Partnership for Healthier Communities

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Contact information for Inova's Partnership for Healthier Kids, Access to Care Program, and Family intake & enrollment number for Northern Virginia. Call 703-698-2550 to reach the main PHK office.

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Support for families of children with chronic medical conditions

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The Care Connection for Children program is part of a state-wide network that helps families coordinate community and education resources with medical expertise to ensure that children with special health care needs can reach their maximum potential.

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Information about applying for childcare assistance - Spanish  

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Information about applying for childcare assistance - Spanish  

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Information about applying for child care assistance in English

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Information about applying for child care assistance in English

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www.5pointscale.com was developed to share information about the use of the 5-point scale and other systems to teach social and emotional concepts to children and adults who could use some extra…

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George Mason University Students seeking jobs

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George Mason University Students seeking jobs

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You will need to compose a brief e-mail to spedpost@gmu.edu explaining your job posting request. Information that you will need to include:

•   A brief job description

•   Days and times/hours per week

•   General employment location (it should not be a specific address, ex. 20 minutes from GMU, Fairfax, etc . . .)

•    Pay rate

•    Contact information.

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Preschool age books for black history month

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Preschool age books for black history month

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February is Black History Month, and a great way to help your growing reader learn more about African American history is with picture books. The picture books on this list break history into bite-sized, age-appropriate pieces for young children, with vivid illustrations and easy-to-digest text.

Try Henry's Freedom Box - a gripping tale about how Henry goes on an arduous journey to the North to gain freedom and a birthday. Or pick up I Am Ruby Bridges, a landmark story with stunning visuals about a pivotal event that shaped the civil rights movement. By exposing your child to a variety of diverse and inclusive books, both fiction and nonfiction, you'll help widen your child's perspective.

From picture books on well-known figures like Rosa Parks to the story of the black female mathematicians behind one of NASA's greatest operations, our Black History Month picture book list covers a multitude of subjects. For longer works on Black History geared towards elementary schoolers, preteens and teens, check out our comprehensive Black History Month book list for all ages.

Shop picture books for Black History Month below! You can find more books and activities at The Scholastic Store.

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17+ Must-Read Picture Books to Celebrate Black History Month

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February is Black History Month, and a great way to help your growing reader learn more about African American history is with picture books. The picture books on this list break history into bite-sized, age-appropriate pieces for young children, with vivid illustrations and easy-to-digest text.

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Pre-K (formerly HeadStart) - on-line application

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Pre-K (formerly HeadStart) - on-line application

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Pre-K (formerly Head Start) apply on-line Spanish

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Pre-K (formerly Head Start) apply on-line Spanish

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Parenting essentials for toddlers and preschoolers

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Home | Essentials | Parenting Information | CDC

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Parenting is hard work! But it can also be fun and rewarding. There are many things you can do to help build a safe, stable, and nurturing relationship with your child. This website will help you handle some common parenting challenges, so you can be a more confident parent and enjoy helping your child grow.

Share with Your Friends

Share information about Essentials for Parenting with your family, friends, or co-workers. Click on a link below.

A mother finds that her son does not follow her directions and figures out what is causing the problem. Watch this and other videos that show how to use the positive parenting skills.

You send your child to time-out for hitting her sister. She keeps getting up and comes back with a toy. What would you do? Click here for this activity and other chances to practice the positive parenting skills.

Concerned about your child's development? Want more information on water safety? Find tips and useful information on other topics you might find interesting.

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Essentials for Parenting Toddlers and Preschoolers

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Parenting is hard work! But it can also be fun and rewarding. There are many things you can do to help build a safe, stable, and nurturing relationship with your child. This website will help you handle some common parenting challenges, so you can be a more confident parent and enjoy helping your child grow.

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Furniture, home goods, and toys!

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Donate your gently used furniture and homegoods to help end homelessness in Fairfax County Virginia. Your donations can change lives!

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In our societies today we simply cannot deny that we are surrounded by differences in ethnicity, religion, culture, gender, disabilities and other differences.

Some people love to be surrounded by a multicultural society while others do not feel at ease. This mostly depends on our own exposure and attitudes towards our interaction with different people.

Why encourage tolerance in our kids? To start with, we want out kids to feel relaxed and open to learning from different cultures. They bring new ideas, experiences and energy to our lives. Our kids can potentially learn bundles from other cultures. If willing, tolerance opens doors in business, education, travel, leisure, lifestyle, art plus other areas of life.

To help our kids have a successful future, they need to be able to work with others. They need to not be afraid, to step outside their comfort zone and to understand, learn, respect and appreciate others.

Tolerance is not about accepting bad behaviour, but accepting "people" for who they are and treating those how "you" wish to be treated. Remind your kids of this consistently.

Being tolerant of differences doesn't mean sacrificing your own heritage or beliefs. We can be proud and stand by those beliefs 100% while continuing to celebrate the differences of others.

The tolerance level that parents possess naturally teaches their kids the same message. Children closely watch and imitate us, even before they can speak. Kids will mirror the values and attitudes of those they love and look up to.

Parents who model and display tolerance in their every day actions and words teach their kids to appreciate differences in others too. So we teach by example and provide them with opportunities to play and work with others.

Kids can't "just" be told, they need to experience first hand how people who are different and similar to themselves can contribute in numerous ways.

Here are some tips for how to teach your kids tolerance.

Look at the way you treat and speak to others. Does this reflect tolerance? Demonstrate a respect for others and reflect on your own attitude regularly.

Kids listen and learn from you. At school, I have often overheard kids stereotyping and joking about the slang names given to different groups. When asked about those words they mostly tell me that is what they have heard used at home.Even if you're having a conversation with your partner, be mindful that your kids may be listening. Think carefully about the words you use. By all means talk about differing groups in a factual and informative manner, but avoid joking and any degrading name-calling.Your kids may repeat what they have heard and sometimes in less private situations.

Answer your kid's questions honestly and respectfully. Everyone notices differences in people so it is perfectly okay to discuss them with your kids if done in a respectful way.

Choose programs, movies, stories and games that value differences. The media has a powerful ability to shape attitudes. If you do watch or see something that is prejudice, be sure to talk about it with your kids and the hurt it can cause to those groups.

Expect your kids to treat others with respect. By modelling tolerance yourself, you should certainly not accept disrespectful behaviour both inside and outside your home.

Value the differences within your own family. Accept the qualities each member possesses regardless of differing styles, interests and abilities. Help your kids feel values for who they are too.

Foster self-esteem in your family. We all know that people who don't respect others rarely feel happy and secure within themselves. Kids who do feel good about themselves tend to be more courteous towards others.

Involve your kids in situations where diversity is present. This may be at sport, school, day care and camps.

Learn together about other cultures and traditions. Explore how different cultures celebrate occasions in their own special way and go about life. Talk about it and appreciate the experience.

Teach your own family traditions to your kids and encourage pride. Value and talk about where you belong and be open to teach others what you have to offer.

Think about the behaviors you wish to see in your child. Then model those behaviors, because kids will mostly follow in your footsteps.

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How To Teach Your Kids About Tolerance - Guidelines for Parents

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In our societies today we simply cannot deny that we are surrounded by differences in ethnicity, religion, culture, gender, disabilities and other differences. Some people love to be surrounded by a multicultural society while others do not feel at ease. This mostly depends on our own exposure and attitudes towards our interaction with different people.

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https://research.fairfaxcounty.gov/early-literacy/talk-about-race

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Skip to main content

It looks like you're using Internet Explorer 11 or older. This website works best with modern browsers such as the latest versions of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, and Edge. If you continue with this browser, you may see unexpected results.

The Library's Stand on Social and Racial Equity

The Fairfax County Public Library supports the statements from the American Library Association (ALA), the Public Library Association, and the Black Caucus of ALA in replacing violence and fear with inclusiveness and enlightenment; we support an end to racism towards all people of color.

Your library is committed to the County's One Fairfax policy of social and racial equity. We provide materials, create community programs, and have spaces that are open and welcoming to all.

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FCPL Curated Content: Early Literacy: Talking to Young Children about Social and Racial Equity

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Skip to main content It looks like you're using Internet Explorer 11 or older. This website works best with modern browsers such as the latest versions of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, and Edge. If you continue with this browser, you may see unexpected results.

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Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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Science tells us that some children develop resilience, or the ability to overcome serious hardship, while others do not. Understanding why is crucial.

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Children's problems include adapting to a new classroom, bullying by classmates, or abuse at home, but resilience is the ability to thrive despite these challenges.

Cite this

American Psychological Association. (2012, January 24). Resilience guide for parents and teachers. https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers

We tend to idealize childhood as a carefree time, but youth alone offers no shield against the emotional hurts, challenges, and traumas many children face. Children can be asked to deal with problems ranging from adapting to a new classroom or online schooling to bullying by peers or even struggles at home. Add to that the uncertainties that are part of growing up in a complex world, and childhood can be anything but carefree. The ability to thrive despite these challenges arises from the skills of resilience.
The good news is that resilience skills can be learned.
Building resilience-the ability to adapt well to adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress-can help our children manage stress and feelings of anxiety and uncertainty. However, being resilient does not mean that children won't experience difficulty or distress. Emotional pain, sadness, and anxiety are common when we have suffered major trauma or personal loss, or even when we hear of someone else's loss or trauma.

10 tips for building resilience in children and teens

1. Make connections
Teach your child the importance of engaging and connecting with their peers, including the skill of empathy and listening to others. Find ways to help children foster connectivity by suggesting they connect to peers in-person or through phone, video chats, and texts. It's also important to build a strong family network. Connecting with others provides social support and strengthens resilience.

2. Help your child by having them help others
Children who may feel helpless can feel empowered by helping others. Engage your child in age-appropriate volunteer work or ask for assistance yourself with tasks that they can master. At school, brainstorm with children about ways they can help others in their class or in grades below.

3. Maintain a daily routine
Sticking to a routine can be comforting to children, especially younger children who crave structure in their lives. Work with your child to develop a routine, and highlight times that are for school work and play. Particularly during times of distress or transition, you might need to be flexible with some routines. At the same time, schedules and consistency are important to maintain.

4. Take a break
While some anxiety can motivate us to take positive action, we also need to validate all feelings. Teach your child how to focus on something that they can control or can act on. Help by challenging unrealistic thinking by asking them to examine the chances of the worst case scenario and what they might tell a friend who has those worries. Be aware of what your child is exposed to that can be troubling, whether it's through the news, online, or overheard conversations. Although schools are being held accountable for performance or required to provide certain instruction, build in unstructured time during the school day to allow children to be creative.

5. Teach your child self-care
Teach your child the importance of basic self-care. This may be making more time to eat properly, exercise, and get sufficient sleep. Make sure your child has time to have fun, and participate in activities they enjoy. Caring for oneself and even having fun will help children stay balanced and better deal with stressful times.

6. Move toward your goals
Teach your child to set reasonable goals and help them to move toward them one step at a time. Establishing goals will help children focus on a specific task and can help build the resilience to move forward in the face of challenges. At school, break down large assignments into small, achievable goals for younger children, and for older children, acknowledge accomplishments on the way to larger goals.

7. Nurture a positive self-view
Help your child remember ways they have successfully handled hardships in the past and help them understand that these past challenges help build the strength to handle future challenges. Help your child learn to trust themselves to solve problems and make appropriate decisions. At school, help children see how their individual accomplishments contribute to the wellbeing of the class as a whole.

8. Keep things in perspective and maintain a hopeful outlook
Even when your child is facing very painful events, help them look at the situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective. Although your child may be too young to consider a long-term look on their own, help them see that there is a future beyond the current situation and that the future can be good. An optimistic and positive outlook can enable children to see the good things in life and keep going even in the hardest times. In school, use history to show that life moves forward after bad events, and the worst things are specific and temporary.

9. Look for opportunities for self-discovery
Tough times are often when children learn the most about themselves. Help your child take a look at how whatever they're facing can teach them "what am I made of." At school, consider leading discussions of what each student has learned after facing a tough situation.

10. Accept change
Change often can be scary for children and teens. Help your child see that change is part of life and new goals can replace goals that have become unattainable. It is important to examine what is going well, and to have a plan of action for what is not going well. In school, point out how students have changed as they moved up in grade levels and discuss how that change has had an impact on the students.

Resilience and preschool children

Very young children will only recently have mastered the skills of walking and talking, and they may not be able to express their anxieties and fears. Although you may think they are too young to understand what is happening, even very young children can absorb frightening events from the news or from conversations they overhear.

Watch your children for signs of fear and sadness they may not be able to put into words. Have your children become extra clingy or needing more hugs than usual? Have your children started old habits after you thought they had outgrown the behavior? Are they suddenly more irritable? They may be feeling the pressure of what is going on in the world around them. Use play to help your children express their fears and encourage them to use art or pretend games to express what they may not be able to put into words.

Use family time like a security blanket for your children: wrap them up in family closeness and make sure your children have lots of family time. During times of stress and change, spend more time with your children playing games, reading to them, or just holding them close.

Resilience and elementary school children

Elementary school children may be starting to form new friend groups and participate in new activities as they come into their own. As they start to study subjects about the world outside of their homes, they look to teachers as well as to parents to make them feel safe and to help sort it all out.

Make sure your child has a place where they can feel safe, whether that is home or school (ideally, both would feel safe).

Talk to your children. When they have questions, answer them honestly and with reassurance that includes simple statements that let them know you are taking actions to keep them safe and are there to take care of them. Listen to their concerns and fears when they address them with you and let them know you are there for them.

When there is a situation outside of the home that is frightening, limit the amount of news your children watch or listen to. There is always the possibility that they misinterpret what they see or hear on the news. You don't need to hide what's happening in the world from your children, but neither do they have to be exposed to constant stories that fuel their fears. Check in on their understanding of what they have been exposed to.

Realize that extra stressors may heighten normal daily stresses. Your children might normally be able to handle a failed test or teasing, but be understanding that they may respond with anger or bad behavior to stress that normally wouldn't rattle them. Reassure them that you just want what is best for them and that you are there for them.

Resilience and middle school children

Even without larger traumas, middle school can be an especially difficult time for many children as they struggle to meet extra academic demands and avoid new social pitfalls. They look to teachers and friends as well as to parents to make them feel safe.

Reinforce empathy and help your child keep perspective. If your child falls into the shifting of social groups that form in middle school, help them understand that other children may be feeling just as lonely and confused, and help them to see beyond the current situation.

Talk with your child about your own feelings during times of extraordinary stress. Your children may be old enough to appreciate hearing about your own thoughts and feelings, but also the ways in which you cope. Share how the ways you cope are helpful to you, but also find techniques that may benefit your child.

Resilience and high schoolers

Although your teens may tower over you, they still are young and can keenly feel the fear and uncertainty of both the normal stresses of being a teen, as well as events in the world around them. Emotions may be volatile and close to the surface during teen years, and finding the best way to connect to your teen can be difficult.

Talk with them whenever you can, even if it seems they don't want to talk. Sometimes the best time to talk may be when you are in the car together; sometimes it may be when you are doing chores together, allowing your teen to focus on something else while they talk. When they have questions, answer them honestly but with reassurance. Ask them their opinion about what is happening and listen to their answers.

Find a place that your teen can create as their safe place, whether it's their bedroom or somewhere they find comfort. In high school, emotions can intensify, and rejection, taunting, or bullying can also be present. A space of their own can serve as a constant and a place for them to have as their own. Your children may prefer to be with their friends rather than spend time with you, but be ready to provide lots of family time for them when they need it and set aside family time that includes their friends.

When stressful things are happening in the world at large, encourage your teen to take "news breaks," whether they are getting news from the television, magazines or newspapers, or online. Use what they're seeing and hearing as a catalyst for discussion. Teens may act like they feel immortal, but at bottom they still want to know that everything will be ok. Having honest discussions of your fears and expectations can help your high schooler learn to express their own fears. If your teen struggles with words, encourage them to use journaling or art to express emotions.

Many teens are already feeling extreme highs and lows because of hormonal levels in their bodies; added stress or trauma can make these shifts seem more extreme. Be understanding of feelings and emotions, but also be firm when teens respond to stress with angry or sullen behavior. Reassure your child that they will be ok and you are looking out for their best interest

The journey of resilience

Developing resilience is a personal journey, and you should use your knowledge of your own children to guide them on their journey. An approach to building resilience that works for you or your child might not work for someone else.

If your child seems stuck or overwhelmed and unable to use these tips, you may want to consider talking to someone who can help, such as a psychologist or other mental health professional. Turning to someone for guidance may help your child strengthen resilience and persevere during times of stress or trauma.

Acknowledgments

APA gratefully acknowledges the following experts: Mary K. Alvord, PhD, Robin Gurwitch, PhD, Jana Martin, PhD, and Ronald S. Palomares, PhD.

Information presented here should not be used as a substitute for professional health and mental health care or consultation. Individuals who believe they may need or benefit from care should consult a psychologist or other licensed health/mental health professional.

Recommended Reading

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Resilience guide for parents and teachers

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Children's problems include adapting to a new classroom, bullying by classmates or abuse at home, but resilience is the ability to thrive despite these challenges.

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Although early childhood is an incredibly joyful time, it is also very common for, babies and toddlers to struggle at times with difficult feelings and experiences. For example, they have to cope with the normal anger and fears that arise as they grow. They may also experience challenging situations such as: being separated from or losing a loved one, moving to a new home or child care, coping with having a new baby join the family, or other changes that cause confusion and sadness.

Books can be powerful tools to help young children make sense of these feelings. To help parents and caregivers support children as they deal with challenging feelings and experiences, we have created this list of books on a variety of topics, including: exploring feelings, coping with anger, fears, self-control, friendship, grief and loss, and divorce.

As you share these books with your child, it's important to follow her lead. Children may have different responses to the stories on this list. You may find that your child resists finishing a particular story. This may mean that she is not yet ready for it or the story may be "hitting too close to home." Put the book aside in a place where your child can explore it independently. If you wait, you may see that, over time, your child returns to the story when she is ready.

You may also find that your child requests the same book over and over. Repetition is an important way that children make sense of new ideas. Hearing the same story again and again can also be very comforting to children. Not every book is for every child. Because some of the books listed below address sensitive topics, it is always a good idea to read them by yourself before reading them to your child. That way you can be sure they reflect your family's values and are appropriate for your child's temperament, age, and developmental stage.

Exploring Feelings: Reading List

For All Ages:

For Infants:

Baby Faces by Margaret Miller

Oh, David!: A Diaper David Book by David Shannon

Oops!: A Diaper David Book by David Shannon

If You're Happy and You Know It: My First Taggies Book by Ken Geist.

For Toddlers:

Lots of Feelings by Shelly Rotner

Grumpy Bird by Jeremy Tankard

When I Am/Cuando Estoy by Gladys Rosa-Mendoza

Tough Guys Have Feelings Too by Keith Negley

For Older Toddlers and Little Kids:

Taking a Bath with the Dog and Other Things that Make Me Happy by Scott Menchin

The Way I Feel by Janan Cain

Today I Feel Silly: And Other Moods That Make My Day by Jamie Lee Curtis

How Are You Peeling? Foods with Moods by Saxton Freymann

Feelings by Aliki

Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst

I Like Myself by Karen Beaumont

I'm Gonna Like Me: Letting Off a Little Self-Esteem by Jamie Lee Curtis

Coping with Anger: Reading List

For Toddlers:

For Older Toddlers and Little Kids:

No Matter What by Debi Gliori

Finn Throws a Fit by David Elliott

Mouse Was Mad by Linda Urban

Llama Llama Mad at Mama by Anna Dewdney

When I Feel Angry by Cornelia Maude Spelman

Alicia Has a Bad Day by Lisa Jahn-Clough

Chocolate-Covered-Cookie Tantrum by Deborah Blumenthal

Mean Soup by Betsey Everitt

When Sophie Gets Angry - Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang

Sometimes I'm Bombaloo by Rachel Vail

Fear: Reading List

Books About The Fear of Separation

For Infants and Toddlers:

Owl Babies by Martin Waddel

For Older Toddlers and Little Kids:

Have You See My Duckling? Nancy Tafuri

When Mama Comes Home Tonight by Eileen Spinelli

I Love You All Day Long by Francesca Rusackas

Are You My Mother? by P.D. Eastman

Oh My Baby, Little One by Kathi Appelt

Books About the Fear of Thunderstorms

For Toddlers and Little Kids:

Franklin and the Thunder Storm by Paulette Bourgeois

The Storm Book by Charlotte Zolotow

Thunder Cake by Patricia Polacco

Thunder and Lightening: They're Not So Frightening by JD Schmith

Books About Being Afraid of the Dark

For Toddlers and Little Kids:

Books About Medical Appointments

For Toddlers and Little Kids:

Books About the Fear of Monsters

For Toddlers and Little Kids:

Self-Control: Reading List

For Infants and Toddlers:

No No Yes Yes by Linda Patricellei

Quiet Loud by Linda Patricellei

For Older Toddlers and Little Kids:

For Little Kids:

It's Hard to be Five: Learning How to Work My Control Panel by Jamie Lee Curtis

Friendship Troubles: Reading List

For Infants:

My Friend Rabbit by Eric Rohmann

For Toddlers:

Gossie and Gertie by Olivier Dunrea

Sheila Rae's Peppermint Stick by Kevin Henkes

For Older Toddlers and Little Kids:

My Friend and I by Lisa Jahn-Clough

Being Friends by Karen Beaumont

Chrysanthemum by Kevin Henkes

Chester's Way by Kevin Henkes

Big Al by Andrew Clements

Stand Tall, Molly Lou Melon by Patty Lovell

Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes

Shark Vs. Train by Chris Barton

William's Doll by Charlotte Zolotow

Delores Meets Her Match

Enemy Pie by Derek Munson

Grief and Loss: Reading List

Books About Losing a Comfort Object

For Toddlers and Little Kids:

Books About Explaining Death

For Toddlers and Little Kids:

When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Krasny Brown and March Brown

I Miss You: A First Look at Death by Pat Thomas

Lifetimes by Bryan Mellonie

Water Bugs & Dragonflies: Explaining Death to Young Children

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life

Books About Losing a Pet

For Toddlers and Little Kids:

Goodbye Mousie by Robie Harris

I'll Always Love You by Hans Willhelm

Alfie and the Birthday Surprise by Shirley Hughes

Saying Goodbye to Lulu by Corrine Demas

The Tenth Good Thing About Barney by Judith Viorst

Jasper's Day by Marjorie Blain Parker

Books About Losing a Loved One:

For Toddlers and Little Kids:

Where Are You? A Child's Book About Loss by Laura Olivieri

Sad Isn't Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing With Loss by Michaelene Mundy

When Your Grandparent Dies: A Child's Guide to Good Grief by Victoria Ryan

Nana Upstairs & Nana Downstairs by Tomie dePaola

Badger's Parting Gifts by Susan Varley

Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying by Joyce C. Mills

Grandma's Purple Flowers by Adjoa J. Burrowes

Everett Anderson's Goodbye by Lucille Clifton

Saying Goodbye to Daddy by Judith Vigna

The Blue Roses by Linda Boyden

Tear Soup by Pat Schweibert

Lifetimes by Warren Hanson

Books About Grief or Trauma

For Toddlers and Little Kids:

A Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret M. Holmes

Divorce: Reading List

For Toddlers and Little Kids:

Let's Talk About It: Divorce by Fred Rogers

Mama and Daddy Bear's Divorce by Cornelia Maude Spelman

Two Homes by Claire Masurel

Was It the Chocolate Pudding: A Story for Little Kids About Divorce by Bryan Langdo

Standing on My Own Two Feet: A Child's Affirmation of Love in the Midst of Divorce by Tamara Schmitz

Dinosaurs Divorce by Marc Brown

It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear by Vicki Lansky

My Family's Changing: A First Look at Family Break-Up by Pat Thomas

I Have Two Homes by Marian DeSmet

Where Am I Sleeping Tonight? A Story of Divorce by Carol Gordon Ekster

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Books About Feelings for Babies and Toddlers

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Although early childhood is an incredibly joyful time, it is also very common for, babies and toddlers to struggle at times with difficult feelings and experiences. For example, they have to cope with the normal anger and fears that arise as they grow.

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Lynn Lyons: Helping Children and Families Manage Anxiety Disorders

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Lynn Lyons: Helping Anxious Kids and Families Manage Anxiety Disorders

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Lynn Lyons is an international speaker and psychotherapist based in Concord, New Hampshire helping children and families manage anxiety disorders.

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