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Hi Lucie! A strength in your presentation, “Lululemon” is your introduction. It grabs the reader’s attention by asking a simple question lots of people may be able to relate to. Another strength in your presentation is your history. It shows a good example of the history of Lululemon in a way that is easy for the reader to understand. A wish I had for your presentation is to add more pictures. I think some of the pictures you have are really good, but I wish you could have added more pictures of Lululemon clothing to give the reader more examples. Other than that I think that your presentation was amazing!

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Hey lucie! First off  I love how extanted your paragraphs are and how long you explained your explanation. To add on to that, I think that you explained all paragraphs in a clear format and let the people know what the clear theme was. One wish I do have for your writing is to go back and reread because there are lots of errors and you also didn’t italicize the Pixar short title. 

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Hey lucie! First off  I love how extanted your paragraphs are and how long you explained your explanation. To add on to that, I think that you explained all paragraphs in a clear format and let the people know what the clear theme was. One wish I do have for your writing is to go back and reread because there are lots of errors and you also didn’t italicize the Pixar short title. 

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Hi Lucie, a strength in your piece was your sum it up sentence, it fit in extremely well with your theme, and the pixar short you chose. Another strength in your writing piece was your evidence. Your evidence fit in extremely well with your claim, and the evidence was a great way to connect the theme to the short. The only thing I would change is check punctuation and spelling. Overall you did an amazing job!

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Hi Lucie, A star in your writing piece was your claim because it really connected to your Pixar shirt and was worded with great word choice. In addition, your evidence seemed to be chosen very wisely because it supported your claim in a great way as well as your sum-it-up sentence. However, I think you could improve your 1st but y to f yourexplanation because the sentences sounded a bit repetitive.

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Hi Lucie! A star for your writing is your explanation because you did a good job explaining everything. Another star is your claim because it all made sense when you explained and you had good word choice in your explanation. A wish could be your conclusion because i feel like you could of chosen different words. Overall you did a really good job!!-lex

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Hey Luc. You did great on your Pixar short analysis. One star I have for you is the theme and how you described that it's okay to be different even if you don’t look the same as other people. In addition I love your explanation because you wrote it clear so when people read it they will understand what you are talking about and you have evidence to back it up. However, one wish that i have for you is to add some more transition words to make your writing a bit more professional and  fancy. _ Eva La Rosa

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Hey Luc. You did great on your Pixar short analysis. One star I have for you is the theme and how you described that it's okay to be different even if you don’t look the same as other people. In addition I love your explanation because you wrote it clear so when people read it they will understand what you are talking about and you have evidence to back it up. However, one wish that i have for you is to add some more transition words to make your writing a bit more professional and  fancy. _ Eva La Rosa

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Hi Lucie, something you did amazing on was your anecdote. It had so many sensory details, and an outstanding amount of description throughout your piece. Another thing that you did great was that your first CEES paragraph had an amazing explanation. It really brought your evidence to life, and provided the reader with a lot of passion and good word choice. The only wish I would have for you is to expand on your conclusion. Although it was compelling it was lacking a bit more of something, next time I would look at the organizer provided. But it’s not your fault that you ran out of time because the rest of the piece was extremely compelling and well written.

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Hi lulu, the first star in your CEES essay i really liked you introduction i thought that you worked really good on it and worded it good. The second star was that i really liked your explanation parts because you explained everything well and did not make it confusing. How ever I think you could of added a bit more detail on your conclusion i think you could like made the heart to heart more emotional but overall i think you did really good!!!! -cerchio

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Hey luc! You did great and I enjoyed reading it a lot. You had good descriptions and gave informing info about why homework is bad and what could happen from the causes of homework. You also did a very good job on putting yourself in their shoes and seeing how it feels and affects them when they get homework. One wish I have for you is that you make sure to indent in your paragraphs so that we can see them more clearly.

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Hey luc! You did great and I enjoyed reading it a lot. You had good descriptions and gave informing info about why homework is bad and what could happen from the causes of homework. You also did a very good job on putting yourself in their shoes and seeing how it feels and affects them when they get homework. One wish I have for you is that you make sure to indent in your paragraphs so that we can see them more clearly.

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- Eva La Rosa

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Hey Lucie, a strength in your memoir was your idea in how you twisted the memoir “wacky shoes”. i think that you had a great twist to change it into a new story that had a funny and scary events
Which Made it enjoyable to read .
In addition I think you also had a strong interesting funny twist on your ending.
I also think that you had a great description that made it easy to imagine and picture.
However I was a bit confused about your hook and how it was coming together. I think that your hook was also a bit undeveloped to understand clearly.
But overall I think you had a great story.

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I loved reading your piece it was a very descriptive interesting memoir and i enjoyed reading it. I also enjoyed your figurative language and descriptive.

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I loved your piece! It was really well written. The figurative language was extremely great! I liked how you described how your friend was like the lettuce and cheese inside a sandwich. That was a really creative part in your memoir. Another great thing was your inner thoughts. There was a good thought where you were talking to yourself, making sure you could ride the jet ski. I don’t really see any errors in your piece, it was amazing!!

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I loved you memoir it was very detailed and had a lot thrill in it. I loved the ending and the lesson learned it in. I like how you added a lot of inner thoughts in it.

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A strength in your memoir “Cherish Life” was your figurative language. You described the situation, and emotions that you were feeling in a really strong and descriptive way.I also love your description of the setting. It really made me feel like I was experiencing the situation that you were in. My one wish was for you to have a longer more emotion filled ending.