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In this special excerpt from the TED podcast WorkLife with Adam Grant, Adam and Brené Brown discuss how open is too open when it comes to the workplace.

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For week 3 of TED2020, global leaders in technology, vulnerability research and activism gathered for urgent conversations on how to foster connection, channel energy into concrete social action and work to end systemic racism in the United States. Below, a recap of their insights. Audrey Tang, Taiwan's digital minister for social innovation Big idea: Digital [...]

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The TED community is brimming with new projects and updates. Below, a few highlights. Malaria vaccine begins wide-scale testing in Malawi. RTS,S - the only malaria vaccine to successfully pass clinical trials - will be made available to 360,000 children in Kenya, Malawi and Ghana in the first round of implementation testing. Immunologist Faith Osier [...]

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In this special excerpt from the TED podcast WorkLife with Adam Grant, Adam and Brené Brown discuss how open is too open when it comes to the workplace. Continue reading For week 3 of TED2020, global leaders in technology, vulnerability research and activism gathered for urgent conversations on how to foster connection, channel energy into concrete social action and work to end systemic racism in the United States.

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Daring leadership is a collection of four skill sets that are teachable, observable, and measurable: Rumbling with Vulnerability, Living into our Values, Braving Trust, and Learning to Rise.

The Daring Leadership Assessment will help you gauge your strengths and your opportunities for growth as a daring leader. On average, the assessment takes less than ten minutes, and you will be able to print or email the results to yourself.

We do NOT store responses or results.

Deep gratitude to everyone who worked on this three-year assessment project. Special thanks to Dr. Ronda Dearing, our senior director of research, and to the MBA and EMBA students at the Jones Graduate School of Business at Rice University, the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, and the Wharton School at University of Pennsylvania.

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The Daring Leadership Assessment will help you gauge your strengths and opportunities for growth as a daring leader. Based on the work and research of Brené Brown.

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Knowledge is only rumor until it lives in the bones.
- Asaro Tribe

If you're reading Dare to Lead, you know that courage-building requires serious practice. So for anyone who wants to put the book further into action as you read, we've developed a Read-Along Workbook and a Dare to Lead Glossary.

We also know that we all need constant reminders to continue practicing, so below you'll find our favorite quotes and concepts as art pics and downloads.

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Dare to Lead Workbook, Art Pics, Glossary

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If you're reading Dare to Lead, you know that courage-building requires serious practice. So for anyone who wants to put the book further into action as you read, we've developed a Read-Along Workbook and a Dare to Lead Glossary.

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1-Sentence-Summary: Dare To Lead dispels common myths about modern-day workplace culture and shows you that true leadership requires nothing but vulnerability, values, trust, and resilience. Favorite quote from the author:
Read in: 4 minutes

What's the most important leadership role you've ever had? Was it something small, like being the captain of your high school football team? Or something big, like overseeing a business unit with dozens, maybe hundreds of employees? Whichever it may be, there's a high chance you fell into one of the many leadership traps laid out in modern culture.

Maybe, you thought you had to look strong and didn't admit a failure. Maybe, you failed to tell the truth because you didn't want to hurt someone's feelings. These things often happen, especially in the office, because that's how leadership is portrayed in society. Often, however, we later find out it's the exact opposite behavior that would've yielded the best result.

In Dare To Lead, best-selling author Brené Brown shines a light on these opposite behaviors. Her goal is to help you step into leadership and take charge, not despite, but because of all these misguided notions.

Here are 3 lessons that will help you be a courageous, exemplary leader:

1. Courage and vulnerability always go together.

2. If you can narrow your core values down to just two, you can navigate even the toughest of times.

3. The seven behaviors that create trust can be summed up with the acronym BRAVING.

Let's take some of Brené's hard-won insights from decades of work to help you Dare To Lead!
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Lesson 1: You can never be courageous without being vulnerable.

Brené has spoken with thousands of leaders through her work as a researcher. Even the toughest among them eventually admitted that, indeed, acts of courage were always accompanied by the feeling of vulnerability. I can prove this to you.

Let's first define 'vulnerability' as "the universal emotion we feel when times are risky and uncertain or we are at the mercy of other people's actions." Given that definition, I dare you to think of a time when you did something that required courage that didn't also require you to be vulnerable. It's impossible, right?

The truth is whenever we choose courage, we also choose vulnerability. Because that's precisely what courage is about: acting in spite of fear, uncertainty, and potential danger. That's why Brené is so adamant that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness.

It's actually a sign of strength.

Lesson 2: Focus on two core values to endure any adversity.

One factor Brené determined as incredibly beneficial to good leadership is having clarity about your values. Values are the human ideals we consider as most important in our lives. Some examples of values are courage, freedom, justice, kindness, discipline, family, and honesty.

People who know what their values are have an easier time dealing with adversity. They can let their values guide them. They're something to hold on to in dark and difficult times. They allow you to be resilient and do what's necessary. But while making a list of your values is a simple exercise, Brené adds a caveat to their effectiveness.

If you really want your values to guide you well, focus on only two of them. Prioritizing two values above all others gives you a specific ideal to turn to when the going gets tough. It's easy to compile 15 great values, but when you tell yourself all of them matter, you'll end up prioritizing none of them.

Picking two values is a lot harder, but it'll pay off! I think mine would be honesty and self-control.

Lesson 3: To create trust in all your relationships, remember the acronym BRAVING.

We all consider ourselves trustworthy people, yet we only confide in a small, carefully crafted selection of others. I guess the numbers don't add up. It's like we can't all be above average drivers. Someone has to lower the standard. I think when it comes to trust, that someone is all of us.

Luckily, Brené's team has compiled a list of seven behaviors that help us cultivate more trust in our relationships with others:

1. Boundary-setting. Clarifying and respecting each other's limits is crucial to a collaborative relation.

2. Reliability. If we can't rely on another to keep our word, what good is it?

3. Accountability. Making mistakes is normal. Sweeping them under the rug isn't.

4. Vault-closing. Trust is a safeguard for information. If you don't break my confidentiality, I won't break yours.

5. Integrity. Whatever your core two values are, never compromise them.

6. Non-judgement. When you replace judgment with curiosity, you turn isolation into connection.

7. Generosity. Leave lots of room in your interpretations and expectations. This way, others will always turn to you.

An easy acronym you can remember these behaviors by starts with the first letter of each word: BRAVING. Whenever you're in a difficult situation that requires communication to solve, you can dig into these behaviors and find the one that'll help get things back on track.

Hopefully, they will give you the courage you need to...Dare To Lead.

Dare To Lead Review

Brené has written multiple books about the fundamental aspects of being human, like I Thought It Was Just Me, The Gifts Of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, and Rising Strong. While she has an academic background, I wouldn't get hung up on the science aspect of any of them. What they're really about is finding power from within. To summon the strength to do the right thing, no matter how difficult it might be.

That's the real reason why I always find comfort in her work. It makes me calm, composed, and gives me the power I need to move on. I have a feeling that, for you too, Dare To Lead will do the same.

Read full summary on Blinkist >>

Learn more about the author >>

What else can you learn from the blinks?

Why vulnerability is crucial for innovation

How good leaders elicit honest feedback

What skydiving can teach us about failure

Why motivational quotes at the office might do more harm than good

The true dangers of perfectionism

Who would I recommend the Dare To Lead summary to?

The 16 year old soccer player, who just joined a new team and wants to make an impression, the 34 year old consultant in a tough-guy work environment, who's afraid of opening up, and anyone who has a tough time naming their top three values.

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1-Sentence-Summary: Dare To Lead dispels common myths about modern-day workplace culture and shows you that true leadership requires nothing but vulnerability, values, trust, and resilience. Favorite quote from the author: Read in: 4 minutes What's the most important leadership role you've ever had? Was it something small, like being the captain of your high school football team?

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Dare to Lead is the bible for courage-building in the workspace. Leaders and teams alike face serious problems showing up vulnerable at work; instead, they sabotage themselves, killing innovation and creativity. This book is about owning your fears, choosing courage over comfort and whole hearts over armour, and building an organisational culture based on bravery & vulnerability.
DOWNLOAD THE DARE TO LEAD PDF FOR FREE!
INTRODUCTION

Who is this book for?

How do you cultivate braver, more daring leaders? How do you embed the value of courage in your culture? Dare To Lead answers these questions and shows us how to put the ideas of daring greatly, rising strong and braving the wilderness into practice, so we can step up and lead, based on new research conducted with leaders, change makers and culture shifters.

About the authors

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness.

In this summary

This book is the bible for courage-building in the workspace. Leaders and teams alike face serious problems showing up vulnerable at work; instead, they sabotage themselves, killing innovation and creativity. This book is about owning your fears, choosing courage over comfort and whole hearts over armour, and building an organisational culture based on bravery & vulnerability.

BOOK SUMMARY

Brave Leaders & Courage Cultures

What is a leader? According to Brené Brown, a leader is:

"Anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential."

In her two-decade long research, she has found that we need braver leaders and more courageous cultures for modern organisations to flourish and innovate.

What does it take to become a daring leader and build a culture of courage within an organisation? This is the main question that Brené Brown addresses in her book Dare To Lead.

Courage is a collection of 4 skill sets that can be taught, observed, and measured:

1. Rumbling with vulnerability

2. Living into our values

3. Braving trust

4. Learning to rise

In the following chapters, we'll break down all of them. We can all become daring leaders. Ready to find out how?

1. RUMBLING WITH VULNERABILITY

'Rumbling with vulnerability' is the heart of daring leadership. A "rumble" is a conversation where people show up vulnerable and serve the mission and each other - not their egos. Being vulnerable is the emotion we experience during times of uncertainty, failure, risk, and emotional exposure. If we are brave enough often enough, we will fail and be criticised often. The author encourages everyone to face moments of vulnerability with a whole heart and no armor.

There are 6 myths related to vulnerability:

1. Vulnerability is weakness

2. "I don't do vulnerability"

3. "I can go it alone"

4. You can engineer the uncertainty and discomfort out of vulnerability

5. Trust comes before vulnerability

6. Vulnerability is disclosure

The truth couldn't be any further:

1. Daring leadership is born through vulnerability

2. Without vulnerability there is no creativity or innovation

3. Vulnerability means empathy and connection with other people

4. You have to face vulnerability to learn

5. Trust and vulnerability grow co-dependently, not separately

6. Vulnerability minus boundaries is confession & manipulation

Let's learn how to rumble with vulnerability.

The Call To Courage

Joseph Campbell offers the purest calls to courage for leaders:

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek."

Your journey towards a more courageous leader starts by defining the "treasure" and acknowledging the fears that get in the way:"I want less anxiety, less feeling alone, more work toward exciting goals." (Treasure)

"However, I'm afraid to admit that I don't always have the answers or skills that "real leaders" have, I'm scared of making bad decisions, and I've felt stuck and scared, tired and lonely, a lot lately."

It's ok. I feel you 🙂

The only way forward, according to the author's research, is by investing time attending to fears and feelings (entering the cave). But first, we need to shed our armour and stay open-hearted.

The Armoury

Leaders believe that, by protecting our heart & emotions and not bringing them to work, employees become more productive and efficient. The reality is: our armour kills courage, curiosity, and innovation.

Here are some armoured leadership examples, and how to turn them around:

1. Driving Perfectionism & Fostering Fear of Failure. A daring leader encourages healthy striving, empathy and understanding, and self-compassion in times of failure.

2. Squandering Opportunities for Joy and Recognition. Joy is the most vulnerable emotion we feel. A daring leader practices gratitude and celebrates milestones & victories.

3. Being a Knower & Being Right. Becoming a learner and make learning curiosity skills a priority is the way towards daring leadership.

4. Using Criticism as Self-Protection. The remedy is building a culture of contribution - you can't criticise unless you then offer a stronger solution.

5. Leading for Compliance & Control. Daring leaders cultivate commitment and share purpose, priorities, and mission.

6. Rewarding Exhaustion as a Status Symbol & Attaching Productivity to Self-Worth. Daring leaders are intentional about promoting sleep, play, and recovery.

7. Tolerating Discrimination, Echo Chambers, and a "Fitting-in" Culture. Daring leaders cultivate a culture of belonging, inclusivity, and diversity, acknowledging their own privilege and staying open to learning about their biases and blind spots.

8. Leading from Hurt. Attending to fears and feelings is the only way to lead from heart.

Shame & Empathy

Leaders feel scared to be vulnerable because, once they take off their armour and expose themselves, they get to experience shame.

Shame is the fear that something we've done or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection, belonging, or even love. Shame make us say two things: 1) "Never good enough." 2) "Who do you think you are?"

What we need to acknowledge about shame is:

1. We all have it - it's one of the most primitive human emotions.

2. We're all afraid to talk about shame.

3. The less we talk about shame, the more control it has over our lives At work, shame shows up through behavioural cues, such as perfectionism, gossiping, comparison, harassment, discrimination, blaming, and bullying.

Shame happens between people, so we can only heal shame through empathy.

There are 5 elements to empathy:

1. To see the world as others see it, or perspective taking

2. To be nonjudgmental

3. To understand another person's feelings

4. To communicate your understanding of that person's feelings

5. To be mindful and not over-identify with our thoughts and feelings

Respectively, there are 6 ways we tend to miss a moment of empathy:

1. Sympathy vs. Empathy ("Oh, it's bad, that looks terrible. So sorry.")

2. The Gasp & Awe ("Oh gosh, if that happened to me, I'd die.")

3. The Mighty Fall ("I just never expected such a bad rating from you.")

4. The Boots & Shovel ("It's not that bad... You know you're amazing.")

5. If You Think That's Bad... ("That's nothing. Let me tell you about my...")

6. The Block & Tackle ("How did you let this happen? What were you thinking?")

The good news is, we can all learn how to practice empathy. When you think about those 6 types of empathy misses, are there one or two that shut you down? How do they affect your connection with the person? On the flip side, how do you rate your own empathy skill? Are there one or two responses that you typically use that you need to change?

These 2 sets of questions are a good start. The trickiest barrier to empathy is resisting the urge to punish or shame our own selves when we make mistakes. In other words, we need to master self-compassion - talking to yourselves the way we'd talk to someone we love.

Connecting with your own (or somebody else's) feelings manifests in phrases like:

Shame Resilience

We build empathy & shame resilience by:

1. Recognizing Shame and Understanding Its Triggers. This way, we're less likely to default to our shame shields, such as: Moving away (withdrawing, hiding, silencing ourselves, keeping secrets),b. Moving toward (seeking to appease and please), or c. Moving against (trying to gain power over others by being aggressive, and by using shame to fight shame).

2. Practicing Critical Awareness. When we see the big picture, we can be aware of shame triggers and social expectations that fuel shame.

3. Reaching Out. Finding the courage to share our experiences and the compassion to hear others tell their stories, we force shame out.

4. Speaking Shame. Shame derives its power from being unspeakable. That's why it loves perfectionists - it's natural for them to stay quiet.

Grounded Confidence

Grounded Confidence = Rumble Skills + Curiosity + Practice. During rumbling sessions, tough conversations, and emotionally charged decision-making, leaders with grounded confidence:

Stay true to their values,

Respond rather than react emotionally, and

Operate from self-awareness, not self-protection.

Curiosity involves vulnerability, uncertainty, and courage. It is correlated with creativity, intelligence, improved learning and memory, and problem-solving.

Here's how to start a curiosity-fueled conversation:

Finally, easy learning doesn't build strong skills. Grounded confidence comes from the process of learning and unlearning, practicing and failing.
DOWNLOAD THE DARE TO LEAD PDF FOR FREE!
2. LIVING INTO OUR VALUES

Usually, it's our values & beliefs that lead us to do something uncomfortable and daring. However, unless we have clarity of values to remind ourselves why we're out there daring, cynics and critics will bring us down. "Living into our values" means practising our values, not just believing them.

Step 1 - Name. Pick the two values from the list on the next page that you hold most important. These 2 values are simply a definition of who you are in your life.

Step 2 - Behaviour. Armed with your 2 values, answer the following questions: What are 3 behaviors that support each value? What's an example of a time when I was fully living into each value? What are 3 actions I'm tempted to do that are counter to each value?

Step 3 - Empathy. Daring leaders who live into their values are never silent about hard things. As Brené Brown says:

"Integrity is choosing courage over comfort."

A brave leader is someone who says: "I see you. I hear you. I don't have all the answers, but I'm going to keep listening and asking questions."

Giving Feedback

As an essential last step to stay aligned with your values, keep in mind: "I know I'm ready to give feedback when I can..."

1. Sit next to you rather than across from you.

2. Put the problem in front of us rather than between us.

3. Listen, ask questions, & accept that I may not fully understand the issue.

4. Acknowledge what you do well vs. just pick apart your mistakes.

5. Recognise your strengths and how you can best use them.

6. Hold you accountable without shaming or blaming.

7. Be open to owning my part.

8. Genuinely thank you for your efforts vs. just criticise you for your failings.

9. Talk about how these challenges will lead to growth and opportunity.

10. Model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you.

Receiving Feedback

Likewise, to best receive feedback, regardless of how it's delivered, develop the following self-talk phrases:

1. "I'm brave enough to listen." (When receiving feedback from someone who lacks delivery skills.)

2. "There's something valuable here. Take what works and leave the rest." (When receiving feedback from a skilled person, but we don't know their intentions.)

3. "This is the path to mastery." (When receiving unscheduled feedback and being taken off guard.)

As the author highlights:

"The ultimate goal in receiving feedback is a skillful blend of listening, integrating feedback, and reflecting it back with accountability."

3. BRAVING TRUST

Trust is:

"Choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person's actions."

Distrust is:

"What is important to me is not safe with this person in this situation (or any situation)."

Trust is built in small moments and holds teams and organisations together, but the slightest questioning of someone's trustworthiness can lead to vulnerability lockdown.

The BRAVING Inventory

This practical rumble tool can help colleagues understand how much they trust each other and be specific about where the holes are.

How it works:

Each person fills out their BRAVING Inventory independently, then they meet one-on-one to discuss where their experiences align and where they differ. This tool brings more clarity than generally saying "I don't trust you" .

To use the BRAVING Inventory on yourself, ask the following questions:

4. LEARNING TO RISE

We have to teach people about hard landings before they start skydiving to vulnerability. This last chapter is a 3-part practical guide into becoming a Riser.

1. The Reckoning

The Reckoning is simply becoming aware that we're emotionally hooked. Self-talk plays out like this:

"I don't know what's happening, but I'm coming out of my skin."

"I can't stop playing that conversation over and over in my head."

"I feel (disappointed, regretful, pissed, hurt, angry, heartbroken, confused, scared, worried)."

Slow down, breathe for a count of four, connect to your body, and pay attention to your emotions.

Do I have enough information to freak out about this situation?

If I don't have enough information, how can I collect it?

If I do have enough data, will freaking out help?

Most importantly, don't offload your emotions onto others or take out your armour!

2. The Rumble

In the absence of data, we will always make up stories. The first story we make up is what Brené Brown calls the "shitty first draft" or the SFD, where fear & insecurities fill in the data gaps.

Daring leaders keep their people in the loop with valid information and create space & safety for them to reality-check their SFDs. This reduces story-making.

The author and 70% of the Risers in her research also capture their own SFD before they act on it. This gives them power & the opportunity to say, "Does this even make sense?" Then, to move from a SFD to a true story, they ask these questions:

1. What more do I need to learn and understand about the situation? a. What do I know objectively? b. What assumptions am I making?

2. What more do I need to learn and understand about the other people in the story? a. What additional information do I need? b. What questions or clarifications might help?

3. What more do I need to learn and understand about myself? a. What's underneath my response? b. What am I really feeling? c. What part did I play?

The gap between the SFD and the truth is where the meaning & wisdom lie.

3. The Revolution

Brené Brown finishes off with 3 major takeaways from her research:

1. The level of collective courage in an organisation is the best predictor of success and daring leadership.

2. The greatest challenge in developing brave leaders is helping them acknowledge and answer their personal call to courage.

3. We fail the minute we let someone else define success for us.DOWNLOAD THE DARE TO LEAD PDF FOR FREE!

CONCLUSION

Key takeaways

Vulnerability is the emotion we experience during times of uncertainty, failure, risk, and emotional exposure.

Leaders feel scared to be vulnerable because, once they take off their armour and expose themselves, they get to experience shame.

Empathy, the remedy to shame, is not connecting to an experience, it's connecting to the emotions that underpin an experience.

Integrity is choosing courage over comfort.

Find the cave, own the story, and you get to write the ending. Deny the story and it owns you.

Further reading

Leaders Eat Last is ideal for anyone who leads, whether it be a small team, an entire organisation, a community or a family. As a leader it's important to create a culture that leaves everyone happy and fulfilled, and this is exactly what Simon describes. Simon emphasises that when an environment is built on trust, teams will work together, have each others backs, survive and thrive.

The Art of People by Dave Kerpern is a great guide on how to manage some of the most important people and relationships in your life. Kerpern emphasises that people can make all the difference between an average life and a great life.

Guidelines is my eBook that summarises the main lessons from 33 of the best-selling self-help books in one place. It is the ultimate book summary; Available as a 80-page ebook and 115-minute audio book. Guidelines lists 31 rules (or guidelines) that you should follow to improve your productivity, become a better leader, do better in business, improve your health, succeed in life and become a happier person.

Action Steps

1. Go to daretolead.brenebrown.com and download the workbook, additional downloads, and glossary.

2. Take the Daring Leadership Assessment to understand your strengths and opportunities for growth.

3. Work with your team to bring the courage culture to your organisation.

This summary is not intended as a replacement for the original book and all quotes are credited to the above mentioned author and publisher.

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Dare to Lead | PDF Book Summary | By Brené Brown

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Dare to Lead is the bible for courage-building in the workspace. Leaders and teams alike face serious problems showing up vulnerable at work; instead, they sabotage themselves, killing innovation and creativity. This book is about owning your fears, choosing courage over comfort and whole hearts over armour, and building an organisational culture based on bravery & vulnerability.

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Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience

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Listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard. Be honest in owning our parts. Be aware of our intentions Shitty First Drafts (SFDs) stories we make up in the absence of facts or data that reflect fears and insecurities Advice to leaders: Write SFDs down before you