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Please‌ ‌,‌ ‌Mr.‌ ‌President‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌shove‌ ‌me‌ ‌in‌ ‌your‌ ‌oven‌ ‌

I‌ ‌really‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌want‌ ‌to‌ ‌have‌ ‌you‌ ‌eat‌ ‌my‌ ‌cousin‌ ‌but‌ ‌

I‌ ‌wanna‌ ‌save‌ ‌my‌ ‌neck‌ ‌

Please‌ ‌just‌ ‌don’t‌ ‌forget‌ ‌

You‌ ‌eat‌ ‌us‌ ‌every‌ ‌year‌ ‌

And‌ ‌us,‌ ‌we’re‌ ‌over‌ ‌here‌ ‌like‌ ‌

Wait,‌ ‌who‌ ‌made‌ ‌you‌ ‌the‌ ‌boss‌ ‌

My‌ ‌family‌ ‌really‌ ‌wants‌ ‌me‌ ‌to‌ ‌come‌ ‌home‌ ‌tonight‌ ‌

Hope‌ ‌that‌ ‌I‌ ‌could‌ ‌tell‌ ‌them‌ ‌that‌ ‌I‌ ‌saw‌ ‌this‌ ‌sight‌ ‌

Mr.‌ ‌President‌ ‌it‌ ‌was‌ ‌nice‌ ‌to‌ ‌meet‌ ‌ya‌

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Dear Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, President of the United States and all the other really important people in this room,

I stand here before you on all of my 4 legs to plead for my life.  To you, I might seem just like a typical holiday meal- ready to slice off my head and fry me up. But I am more than that. I have hopes and dreams, I have good days and bad days and I desperately want to see more of those days. Us turkeys have so little voice in our own lives, so little rights in this world of yours and I decided this morning that today was my day to use my voice, use my wobble and plea for my life.

I beg of you, to look me in the eye, tell me I am not worthy. Tell me I am of better use cooked.

You can’t do it? I didn’t think so.  Save this turkey’s life. Please.

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Heya so…. Can you Please not eat me? I'm probably not very good in the first place. I smell awful and most likely won't taste very good. I have a family I need to take care of and some friends that I need to visit. They would miss me if i Got my head cut off. The burning pain of my body getting fried would be painful. Also I have a wife and kids so please don't eat me. What is this? Attack on titan? I don't think so. Like, bruh. Out of the 100000000000 turkeys in this world you want to eat me? This is a bruh moment.

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Turkey Pardoning

“Gobble, Gobble” (Hi)

I think it’s wrong that other turkeys have to see their friends be taken away to never be seen again. I think it would be better if more than one turkey could be given the chance to see the great things we have only heard of for example. The snow that falls down with such ease we would all like to frolic in the white fields and dance in the rain instead there is only one turkey that is given that chance. So I think you hoomans (Humans) should rethink your Thanksgiving Dinner shopping list and get some fish instead. Because our winged friends are one of the most popular types of meat for you hoomans to eat. So if you hoomans could eat fish on Thanksgiving day  that would give us turkeys time to replenish our family.Thank you for hearing us turkeys out.

“Gobble, Gobble, Gobble” (Bye)

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Turkeys should not be eaten and hunted ! We have feelings too you know, we gobble around pleading for our lives because we get hunted down every year by you humans! We are no different from you! We have dreams too. Some of us dream to stay alive until we get old, and that's kind of sad that we have to dream of not getting killed and die until its that time… I mean, how would you feel if we just hunted you down with guns each year?

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Dear Mr. President,

I know this may be asking a lot of you, but you must spare me from the dark grips of death that I may or may not be sentenced to. You could ask anyone who knows me, and they would say that neither me nor my wattle has ever harmed a single living thing. I am an innocent turkey, just trying to make my way into this world, and what would you be for depriving me of my rights as a respected poultry citizen? What example would you be giving to the children and chicks of America if you sentence me to a fate that is not mine? Please I beg of you, do not go down this dark path of killing an innocent, and spare me.

~Maria the Turkey

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November 25th.

“Dear people of the non important people of the jury. I testify that I will not be eaten this Thanksgiving by the orange man in office. I swear, at the farm I live at, I have a gang, we call ourselves “ The Birds Of Prey”. I am Harley Cluck and I will not stand for the injustice that millions of my kind that die every moment of november 26th, seriously I've been building an army and we will personally wage war against the United states. So don’t try me. I’ll come after you.

November 26

President trump “ I will not pardon this turkey.”

Later that day, “ You asked for this United States, you will burn in an oven for all eternity like my kind have for centuries, and this time it will be for a millenia.”

President trump, “ Well, you have beaten me at my own game.”

“ Don’t flatter yourself, You were never even a player.

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To the president of the United States and all the other important people in front of me-
This is Mr. Butterball fluff McFowl here and I am standing in front of you on my 2 lanky legs…soooo.. Like I don't even have enough meat on my legs to be delicious, so like….. WHY ME? There are billions of turkeys out there and I just happened to be the one. The ONE!!!!!! It’s like I won a lottery ticket for DEATH! You probably think I'm just an animal that is delicious and you don't really care about me because you can just cut my head off, rip my guts out, and you get a delicious meal but ME! I get NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!! I don’t get to hangout with family and friends like you do. I am still young, unlike you…. NO OFFENSE SIR. I still need to savor the time I get to have in my life… soooo is it still me you want to eat?
I didn't think so!!!
Thank you and PEACE OUT dinner plate 🍽️✌️🦃

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Dear So-Called Mr. President.

Please spare my life. I know I might look like a tasty turkey, but trust me, I’m not. I am the dirtiest turkey you will ever meet. I’ve spent every single day of my life rolling around in mud. I’ve found only the nastiest worms to eat. I’ve never been cleaned once in my life. Are you sure you want to eat a turkey might me? I would think not. I might make you sick or worse. So please, for your own good, don’t eat me. I’m trying to help you! Ok, you might be thinking, “what can I eat instead.”. Obviously another, cleaner turkey. Or, for a better option, a lot of stuffing, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie!

Not yours truly, Notdinner Turkey

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BAILEY NETTLETON               To the president of the United States and all the other important people in front of me-This is Mr. Butterball fluff McFowl here and I am standing in front of you on my 2 lanky legs…soooo.. Like I don't even have enough meat on my legs to be delicious, so like….. WHY ME? There are billions of turkeys out there and I just happened to be the one. The ONE!!!!!! It’s like I won a lottery ticket for DEATH! You probably think I'm just an animal that is delicious and you don't really care about me because you can just cut my head off, rip my guts out, and you get a delicious meal but ME! I get NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!! I don’t get to hangout with family and friends like you do. I am still young, unlike you…. NO OFFENSE SIR. I still need to savor the time I get to have in my life… soooo is it still me you want to eat?I didn't think so!!!Thank you and PEACE OUT dinner plate 🍽️✌️🦃

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BAILEY NETTLETON               To the president of the United States and all the other important people in front of me-This is Mr. Butterball fluff McFowl here and I am standing in front of you on my 2 lanky legs…soooo.. Like I don't even have enough meat on my legs to be delicious, so like….. WHY ME? There are billions of turkeys out there and I just happened to be the one. The ONE!!!!!! It’s like I won a lottery ticket for DEATH! You probably think I'm just an animal that is delicious and you don't really care about me because you can just cut my head off, rip my guts out, and you get a delicious meal but ME! I get NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!! I don’t get to hangout with family and friends like you do. I am still young, unlike you…. NO OFFENSE SIR. I still need to savor the time I get to have in my life… soooo is it still me you want to eat?I didn't think so!!!Thank you and PEACE OUT dinner plate 🍽️✌️🦃

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Please mr president don't i'm not as plump as tater over their i grew up with him but if you choose choose him my dreams still bright my feathers not plucked no sy in what i do it makes the race as turkeys disgraced and when you put me on the dinner table i cant do anything. You will never see turkeys serve a humans up on a silver platter dont put a cap on i'm so tired of my family and friends disappearing for weeks years on end i mean we still expect them to come home you can serve me up or have chuck hes old and his days are numbered sorry chuck i guess your just out of luck.

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Please mr president don't i'm not as plump as tater over their i grew up with him but if you choose choose him my dreams still bright my feathers not plucked no sy in what i do it makes the race as turkeys disgraced and when you put me on the dinner table i cant do anything. You will never see turkeys serve a humans up on a silver platter dont put a cap on i'm so tired of my family and friends disappearing for weeks years on end i mean we still expect them to come home you can serve me up or have chuck hes old and his days are numbered sorry chuck i guess your just out of luck.

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To the president of the United States and all the other important people in front of me-
This is Mr. Butterball fluff McFowl here and I am standing in front of you on my 2 lanky legs…soooo.. Like I don't even have enough meat on my legs to be delicious, so like….. WHY ME? There are billions of turkeys out there and I just happened to be the one. The ONE!!!!!! It’s like I won a lottery ticket for DEATH! You probably think I'm just an animal that is delicious and you don't really care about me because you can just cut my head off, rip my guts out, and you get a delicious meal but ME! I get NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!! I don’t get to hangout with family and friends like you do. I am still young, unlike you…. NO OFFENSE SIR. I still need to savor the time I get to have in my life… soooo is it still me you want to eat?
I didn't think so!!!
Thank you and PEACE OUT dinner plate 🍽️✌️🦃

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To the president of the United States and all the other important people in front of me-
This is Mr. Butterball fluff McFowl here and I am standing in front of you on my 2 lanky legs…soooo.. Like I don't even have enough meat on my legs to be delicious, so like….. WHY ME? There are billions of turkeys out there and I just happened to be the one. The ONE!!!!!! It’s like I won a lottery ticket for DEATH! You probably think I'm just an animal that is delicious and you don't really care about me because you can just cut my head off, rip my guts out, and you get a delicious meal but ME! I get NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!!! I don’t get to hangout with family and friends like you do. I am still young, unlike you…. NO OFFENSE SIR. I still need to savor the time I get to have in my life… soooo is it still me you want to eat?
I didn't think so!!!
Thank you and PEACE OUT dinner plate 🍽️✌️🦃

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Please President sir, I still do not understand why us, why are we the target of what your stomach desires. I would highly appreciate it if you spared me just this time and didn’t  turn me into a fried crisp, trust me I know I look good, Ive looked in a mirror. But that has no meaning as to why you need to cook me!! And even us turkeys do love watching the election and I congratulate you for winning but please let me go, this one time

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Dear President and the Jury!

PLEASE DON’T EAT ME!!!! I’m a baby turkey that doesn’t want to be eaten by the impostors! Aka You all. I want to have a life full of having fun and not worrying about death and being fried for a holiday! I want to have y'all pardon me so all of this can just go away! Plus, pardoning a turkey isn’t even 100 years old! Can you believe it?! All my turkey ancestors were eaten by greedy people like you all!! Also, I hate to say this, but can you QUIT BUGGING US TURKEYS WITH ALL YOUR NOM NOMS ABOUT THEM. LIKE STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK, i’ll calm down for a while. But still, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE! Ok, i’ll try to calm down again. Plus, i’m still a baby! Why do y’all bad humans want to eat me? LIKE WHY?! Just because I'm a symbol of some sort of weird holiday?! Like dude, VERY UNCOOL!! Please pardon me so I can go mate with a turkey and have kids and enjoy life!

Thank You!!!

Turkey Bill

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Hi Mr. or Mrs. president I am just a turkey that would like to stay in the world so that I can have a family and live an honest life. so that I can see all the pretty colors in the sky and on the trees. and I don’t want to die knowing that I have probably a beautiful life ahead of me. So I ask you very nicely and kindly that you do not choose me to be on your dinner table.

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Hi Mr. or Mrs. president I am just a turkey that would like to stay in the world so that I can have a family and live an honest life. so that I can see all the pretty colors in the sky and on the trees. and I don’t want to die knowing that I have probably a beautiful life ahead of me. So I ask you very nicely and kindly that you do not choose me to be on your dinner table.

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yours the turkey that you see in front of you.

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Hello everyone! Mr president why you look fine this evening, and your wife looks stunning. What? You still want to eat me? Me the skinny turkey that I am? Well, fine eat me see if I care. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaase dont eat me I have a family. Pleeeeeaaaaaaaaassssssse! Ok, let's bargain, I will wash your car. No? I will shine your shoes. I will do anything please. Oh? You want me to be your friend and wear a suit. That's all? Well, okay if you say so.Your words not mine.

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Hello everyone! Mr president why you look fine this evening, and your wife looks stunning. What? You still want to eat me? Me the skinny turkey that I am? Well, fine eat me see if I care. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaase dont eat me I have a family. Pleeeeeaaaaaaaaassssssse! Ok, let's bargain, I will wash your car. No? I will shine your shoes. I will do anything please. Oh? You want me to be your friend and wear a suit. That's all? Well, okay if you say so.Your words not mine.

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Let's see here ladies and gentlemen. You see here im just a chicken but big like i know chicken is good in all but look at me i'm a big chicken which is also called a turkey i'm cute and totally not edible like you totally cant eat me. Does everyone have the audacity to eat suck a cute turkey like who would ever do that it's just mean…  but people can't get over big chickens they just say they are so GOOD! Me freaking out they are getting each and every one i'm RUNNING and RUNNING screaming so they would not get me. HAHA I say they backed off me. I guess I succeeded.

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Dear President of the United States,
	I’m writing this letter to you as my plea to not eat me. Because if you do, you’re setting an example for the whole country to eat all of the turkeys, year by year all of my sisters and brothers will be eaten, and soon none of us will be around. Yes, I’m saying that if you eat me you’ll make the entire turkey population go extinct. Then like a greedy person that people are, they’ll try to find other birds to eat, and they too would go extinct. It will be a domino effect, destroying every bird population at a time. Do you want to set that kind of example for your country, eating all the birds? No, I don’t think you would. Hopefully, this plea would help you understand the kind of stress me and my kind are in. thank you

Sincerely,
	Tom the turkey

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Dear president and other important people, I've come here today for you to pardon me. Now I know what you're gonna say and before you do let me tell you why to pardon me. I am very good at minecraft pvp why i say that, well i just wanted too so don't ask why again, second i'm a good artist, oh you want to see my art well.. I don't have any on me so i can’t show you.

Third reason is I have very fluffy feathers.

HEY DID I SAY YOU CAN TOUCH THEM!!!

Ehem, now the final reason is…. I HAVEN'T FINISHED MY SHOW YET SO PLEASE PARDON ME I NEED TO KNOW IF THE MAIN CHARACTER DIES OR NOT I'M ON A CLIFFHANGER SO PLEASE PARDON ME!

And that's all.

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Dear Fancy people,

Can I just start out with saying don't eat me! I have a purpose in life, and that is not to be eaten! I have a goal in my time of living, and that is to prove to the world what matters most. The fact that us turkeys DO NOT say gob- GAG EWAH-ble. I CAN’T EVEN SAY IT I don't know who came up with that because we DO NOT say that you know what word. (Call me if you find out who did it, and text me at chicken tender 486, because they will be getting a TALKING TO!) We say gwabuelle. Yes, you heard me right GWABUELLE!!!! (GWA-BU-WELL) GWABUELLE!!! So I, Featherbottom Miscruff, want to prove to the world the language of a TURKEY! Alrighty? So don't eat me, we all have a goal in life. Maybe you want to eat a fried pickle, or maybe you want to do a handstand in the bathtub. Possibly you want to highfive Snoopy,  kiss a catfish, burb the song let it go! (PS love you Elsa) I don't care WHAT it is but I believe in you! Do you believe in me?! Let me accomplish my goal, live my dream, and see another day.

Thank you for your time Gwaubella’s and Gwaubuwellens.

~Gwabuelle, gwabuelle, Featherbottom Miscruff

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Dear President of the United States,

I’m writing this letter to you as my plea to not eat me. Because if you do, you’re setting an example for the whole country to eat all of the turkeys, year by year all of my sisters and brothers will be eaten, and soon none of us will be around. Yes, I’m saying that if you eat me you’ll make the entire turkey population go extinct. Then like a greedy person that people are, they’ll try to find other birds to eat, and they too would go extinct. It will be a domino effect, destroying every bird population at a time. Do you want to set that kind of example for your country, eating all the birds? No, I don’t think you would. Hopefully, this plea would help you understand the kind of stress me and my kind are in. thank you

Sincerely,

Tom the turkey