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These disorders are grouped together because they include preoccupations - fears, perceived needs or flaws - and repetitive, obsessive behaviors. Some children have insight into the fact that their obsessive and compulsive beliefs are not realistic, and some are convinced that they are true.

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Obsessive Compulsive Disorders | Obsessive Behavior | Child Mind Institute

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These disorders are grouped together because they include preoccupations - fears, perceived needs or flaws - and repetitive, obsessive behaviors. Some children have insight into the fact that their obsessive and compulsive beliefs are not realistic, and some are convinced that they are true.

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According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately 11 percent of children-that's 6.4 million kids-in the United States ages 4-17 were reported by parents to have a diagnosis of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder as of 2011. Dr. Russell Barkley, clinical professor of psychiatry at the Medical University of South Carolina and an expert on ADHD, says that this disorder is primarily about emotional regulation and self-control and is not just about inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. Emotional regulation, which is foundational to social, emotional, and academic success, is underdeveloped in these young people. Barkley emphasizes that ADHD arises from neurogenetic roots and is not a knowledge or intelligence disorder.

Connection + Purpose = Well-Being

This year, I am working with the Indianapolis Public Schools and co-teaching in a fifth- and sixth-grade classroom. In class, I have students who are significantly challenged in terms of paying attention, focusing, and regulating their emotions. Each day I see how they struggle emotionally, socially, and academically, and observe how they can begin to wither away in deep feelings of self-doubt and uncertainty if they don't have a sense of purpose and connection. Below are a few brain-aligned strategies that we're implementing in the district. I have found that these strategies, which focus on the strengths and interests of these struggling students, can have a profoundly positive impact.

1. Whole Class Discussions: It's very unsettling when students see another student struggle and do not understand why that student is struggling. At the beginning of the year or grading period-or simply when behaviors and learning as a class go awry-we have the opportunity to address the challenges and strengths of various learning and emotional disorders with the entire class. Invisible disabilities are often met with fear and anger from other students because of the unknown or a simple misunderstanding of their classmates' emotional, social, or academic challenges. Just as some of us need glasses to see clearly or take insulin to regulate blood glucose levels, others need an oxygenated supply of movement, brain intervals, or space and time to regulate after a 10- to 20-minute instructional lesson. Holding class discussions about the neurodiversity of human brains helps all students to understand each other.

2. It Takes a Village: Bringing in adult community members who have experienced ADHD, anxiety, or other attentional challenges is a wonderful way for students to feel connected and hopeful about their future and plans for success. When I invited young adults who have been challenged with these disorders into our classroom, they shared their personal and professional journeys, which deepened the sense of community, understanding, and acceptance of all learning styles and challenges. A motto that needs to be embraced is: "Everyone gets what they need."

3. I Noticed: Homemade "I Noticed" sheets are great tools for reinforcing all that is going well moment by moment even when you've had moments of adversity. Students who struggle with attention and focus need this constant feedback throughout the day to help them track how they are learning and to know that the teacher is present and aware. All students love homemade sheets-they show that the teacher has taken time and effort to help them feel and be successful.

4. Brain Stories: Children and adolescents who struggle to pay attention sometimes don't feel accepted or successful in school. Yet, beneath many of the challenges of neurodiversity are facets of your students that are not always shared during content instruction-personal stories that highlight these students' strengths, gifts, and feelings.

Psychiatrist Dan Seigel says, "What is shareable is bearable, and what you can name, you can tame." A great way to recognize these students is to have them share "brain stories"-personal experiences, strengths, interests, and feelings. You can further engage them by giving them a choice as to whether they want to create their stories in narrative or picture form. Younger students may begin to showcase their lives through pictures and artwork; older students may want to add sections, revise current categories, and change the format as they see their life journeys unfolding. Brain stories can be created throughout the semester or academic year and posted on a weekly or monthly timeline.

Much like an Individualized Education Program, the brain story will accompany each student throughout his or her school years, though you can invite students to modify, rework, and share their stories over time.

5. Homework for the Teacher: One of the best brain-aligned strategies I have implemented with all ages is doing homework for them on the weekend. Each Friday, I select a couple of students who are in need of affirmation and who have struggled to meet a few of their goals. I usually know their interests and likes, and so I ask, "I have some time this weekend and would love to learn for you! What would you like for me to research this weekend? What would you like to know more about? I will bring my work to you on Monday!" The excitement, the feelings of connection are palpable, and each time, I see more effort from these students than I did the weeks prior to this invitation.

6. Chunking: Chunking or condensing assignments and instructional time with frequent feedback is an excellent way to build on small successes. Students diagnosed with attention challenges may require a smaller list of tasks to complete within a structured, shorter period of time. As an example, I'm working with a second-grade student diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety who was literally throwing tantrums and disrupting the class several times a day when he began feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and unsuccessful. We have now chunked his assignments and written those on colored sticky notes. When he arrives in the morning, he has two assignments to complete that are clear and easy to accomplish. When he completes those two assignments, he is given a brain break for a few minutes and then moves on to the next task. We have seen amazing improvement with his ability to pay attention and to remain focused and inspired with these shortened assignments and tasks. We will continue to build and lengthen these assignments over a period of time with the renewal of time spent on something he loves and enjoys.

Brain Intervals

Brain intervals have two purposes. They provide novelty and and increase interest when implemented after a student has worked on an assignment for a period of time. A young person's attention span is limited, and following a period of direct instruction and independent work, students with ADHD need to step away with a brain interval that is interesting and engaging. Here are some ideas to support brain intervals:

Reading a favorite book/comic

Drawing or designing art for the classroom or main office

Computer time and/or watching motivational videos

Playing a brain-aligned video program such as Brain Pop

Teach Thought has published a great list of 30 of the best education games for iPad.

To feel connected and understood is intimately connected to academic success. When engagement increases, behavioral challenges begin to diminish.

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According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, approximately 11 percent of children-that's 6.4 million kids-in the United States ages 4-17 were reported by parents to have a diagnosis of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder as of 2011.

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Home - ADDA - Attention Deficit Disorder Association

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Empowering adults with adhd to live their best lives A Different Brain Requires a Different Approach Whether you're newly diagnosed, wondering if you have ADHD, or simply ready to take charge of your life - we're here to help. Have ...

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Finding the motivation to make positive lifestyle changes can be hard for anyone. For teenagers, it can be especially difficult when parents are the ones telling them to do it. But if they've fallen into unhealthy habits like vaping or alcohol abuse, change can be beneficial. Motivational interviewing is a form of therapy that creates a safe, non-judgmental environment for teens to establish their own goals and values and see how changing unhealthy behaviors can benefit them in the long run.

This series of articles comes from the Child Mind Institute, with most available in English and Spanish. Why might teens be resistant to therapy and how can parents and others to help them get the treatment they need? The articles explain how motivational interviewing can help teens gain the self-confidence to make important behavioral changes. To read more about motivational interviewing, and to connect with the articles in both English and Spanish, please visit CPIR's abstract.

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Center for Parent Information and Resources | Your Central Hub for Parent Centers Serving Families of Children With Disabilities

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Finding the motivation to make positive lifestyle changes can be hard for anyone. For teenagers, it can be especially difficult when parents are the ones telling them to do it. But if they've fallen into unhealthy habits like vaping or alcohol abuse, change can be beneficial.

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Both Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) and 504 plans can offer formal help for K-12 students who are struggling in school. They're similar in some ways but very different in others. This chart compares them side by side to help you understand the differences.

A blueprint or plan for a child's special education experience at school.

A blueprint or plan for how the school will provide support and remove barriers for a student with a disability.

To get an IEP, there are two requirements: A child has one or more of the 13 disabilities listed in IDEA. The law lists specific challenges, like learning disabilities, ADHD, autism, and others. And the disability must affect the child's educational performance and/or ability to learn and benefit from the general education curriculum. The child must need specialized instruction to make progress in school.

To get a 504 plan, there are two requirements: A child has any disability. Section 504 covers a wide range of different struggles in school. And the disability must interfere with the child's ability to learn in a general education classroom. Section 504 has a broader definition of a disability than IDEA. (It says a disability must substantially limit one or more basic life activities. This can include learning, reading, communicating, and thinking.) That's why a child who doesn't qualify for an IEP might still be able to get a 504 plan.

There are strict legal requirements about who participates. With a few exceptions, the entire IEP team must be present for IEP meetings. The team must include:

The rules about who's on the 504 team are less specific than they are for an IEP. A 504 plan is created by a team of people who are familiar with the child and who understand the evaluation data and special services options. This might include:

* The child's parent or caregiver

* General and special education teachers

* The school principal

* The child's parent or caregiver

* At least one of the child's general education teachers

* At least one special education teacher

* A school psychologist or other specialist who can interpret evaluation results

* A district representative with authority over special education services

The IEP sets learning goals and describes the services the school will provide. It's a written document. Here are some of the most important things the IEP must include:

There is no standard 504 plan. Unlike an IEP, a 504 plan doesn't have to be a written document. A 504 plan generally includes the following:

* Specific accommodations, supports, or services for the child

* Names of who will provide each service

* Name of the person responsible for ensuring the plan is implemented

* The child's present levels of academic and functional performance - how the child is currently doing in school

* Annual education goals for the child and how the school will track progress

* The services the child will get - this may include special education, related, supplementary, and extended school year services

* The timing of services - when they start, how often they occur, and how long they last

* Any accommodations - changes to the child's learning environment

* Any modifications - changes to what the child is expected to learn or know

* How the child will participate in standardized tests

* How the child will be included in general education classes and school activities

When the school wants to change a child's services or placement, it has to tell families in writing before the change. This is called prior written notice. Notice is also required for any IEP meetings and evaluations. Families also have "stay put" rights to keep services in place while there's a disagreement about the IEP.

The school must notify families about an evaluation or a "significant change" in placement. Notice doesn't have to be in writing, but most schools do so anyway.

How to resolve disputes

IDEA gives families several ways to resolve disputes (usually in this order):

Section 504 gives families several options for resolving disagreements with the school:

* Mediation

* Alternative dispute resolution

* Impartial hearing

* Complaint to the Office for Civil Rights (OCR)

* Lawsuit

* Mediation

* Due process complaint

* Resolution session

* Civil lawsuit

* State complaint

* Lawsuit

And if you need help navigating special education law in your state, consider reaching out to your local Parent Training and Information Center. The people there can answer questions and give practical advice on issues specific to your area.

Do you want to learn more about how IEPs and 504 plans compare? Watch as an expert explains the differences between them.

About the author

About the author

The Understood Team is made up of passionate writers and editors. Many of them have kids who learn and think differently.

Reviewed by

Reviewed by

Andrew M.I. Lee, JD is an editor and attorney who strives to help people understand complex legal, education, and parenting issues.

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IEP vs. 504 Plan: What's the Difference?

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Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) and 504 plans are similar but different. See how they compare in what they provide and the processes and laws involved.

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At a glance

The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) requires public schools to provide special education services to eligible students.

IDEA covers 13 disability categories.

Not every student who struggles in school qualifies.

The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) requires public schools to provide special education and related services to eligible students. But not every child who struggles in school qualifies. To be covered, a child's school performance must be "adversely affected" by a disability in one of the 13 categories below.

1. Specific learning disability (SLD)

The "specific learning disability" (SLD) category covers a specific group of learning challenges. These conditions affect a child's ability to read, write, listen, speak, reason, or do math. Here are some examples of what could fall into this category:

SLD is the most common category under IDEA. In the 2018-19 school year, around 33 percent of students who qualified did so under this category.

2. Other health impairment

The "other health impairment" category covers conditions that limit a child's strength, energy, or alertness. One example is ADHD, which impacts attention and executive function.

3. Autism spectrum disorder (ASD)

ASD is a developmental disability. It involves a wide range of symptoms, but it mainly affects a child's social and communication skills. It can also impact behavior.

Various mental health issues can fall under the "emotional disturbance" category. They may include anxiety disorder, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression. (Some of these may also be covered under "other health impairment.")

5. Speech or language impairment

This category covers difficulties with speech or language. A common example is stuttering. Other examples are trouble pronouncing words or making sounds with the voice. It also covers language problems that make it hard for kids to understand words or express themselves.

6. Visual impairment, including blindness

A child who has eyesight problems is considered to have a visual impairment. This category includes both partial sight and blindness. If eyewear can correct a vision problem, then it doesn't qualify.

Kids with a diagnosis of deafness fall under this category. These are kids who can't hear most or all sounds, even with a hearing aid.

The term "hearing impairment" refers to a hearing loss not covered by the definition of deafness. This type of loss can change over time. Being hard of hearing is not the same thing as having trouble with auditory or language processing.

Kids with a diagnosis of deaf-blindness have both severe hearing and vision loss. Their communication and other needs are so unique that programs for just the deaf or blind can't meet them.

10. Orthopedic impairment

An orthopedic impairment is when kids lack function or ability in their bodies. An example is cerebral palsy.

11. Intellectual disability

Kids with this type of disability have below-average intellectual ability. They may also have poor communication, self-care, and social skills. Down syndrome is one example of a condition that involves an intellectual disability.

12. Traumatic brain injury

This is a brain injury caused by an accident or some kind of physical force.

13. Multiple disabilities

A child with multiple disabilities has more than one condition covered by IDEA. Having multiple issues creates educational needs that can't be met in a program designed for any one disability.

Having a disability is not enough to qualify for special education. The disability has to have an "adverse effect" on a child's education.

Key takeaways

Each of the 13 disability categories in IDEA can cover a range of difficulties.

Dyslexia, dyscalculia, and written expression disorder fall under the "specific learning disability" category.

"Other health impairment" can cover ADHD.

About the author

About the author

Andrew M.I. Lee, JD is an editor and attorney who strives to help people understand complex legal, education, and parenting issues.

Reviewed by

Reviewed by

Rayma Griffin, MA, MEd has spent 40 years working with children with learning and thinking differences in the classroom and as an administrator.

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See a list of the 13 IDEA disability categories. Find out which disabilities can qualify kids for special education.

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All teenagers worry about their appearance. Self-esteem can be precarious during adolescence, and body consciousness comes with the territory. But if you've noticed that your child is fixated on weight, you're probably worried. So what is the difference between normal behavior and behavior that might indicate an eating disorder?

Distorted Body Image: While other people see a normal (or painfully skinny) kid, teenagers with eating disorders look into the mirror and see a different person entirely. They have a distorted perception of their own appearance, and no amount of reassurance from family and friends-all of them saying, "You're not fat"-will change that conviction.

Fixated on Appearance: Young people who develop eating disorders are extraordinarily focused on their appearance as a measure of self-worth. While other kids tend to stake their identities on their interests and accomplishments, these teenagers have their emotions, and their lives, wrapped up in thoughts of food and appearance.

Extreme Dieting: Anorexia nervosa, the most common eating disorder, is self-imposed starvation, usually by a young woman who is otherwise high-functioning. Personality types more likely to develop the disorder include athletes, perfectionists, and over-achievers. They are driven to maintain a dangerously low body weight because of a distorted self-image. Detecting anorexia can be very difficult because it typically affects high-performing kids.

Overeating: Kids with bulimia nervosa, the other most common eating disorder, indulge in periodic and usually secretive binges. Many kids with bulimia say they feel out of control during their binges and describe them as "out of body experiences." To compensate, many will purge afterward or diet strenuously. Teenagers with the disorder may be very influenced by body ideals perpetuated in media and popular culture. It can be difficult to diagnose the disorder because people with bulimia can have a normal body weight or may even be overweight.

What signs to look for

Kids with eating disorders often try to keep their unhealthy eating habits and behaviors a secret, but there are still some signs that parents might notice.

Signs of anorexia:

Losing weight unexpectedly and/or being dangerously thin (Despite their extreme thinness, kids with anorexia usually don't think that they are unhealthy and actually want to lose even more weight.)

Obsessing over calorie counts, nutritional facts, and diets

Spending many hours exercising to burn off calories

Skipping meals

Avoiding eating socially

Irregular periods, thinning hair, and constant exhaustion

Signs of bulimia:

Exercising excessively or using diet pills or laxatives

Going to the bathroom immediately after meals

Spending a lot of time in the bathroom

Having a sore throat, sore knuckles, discolored teeth, and poor enamel

Hoarding food in her room

Having large amounts of food that go missing at home

What can parents do?

Try to establish healthy eating habits. Make a routine of eating healthy, balanced meals as a family.

Discuss foods in terms of how healthy they are, not how "good" or "bad" they are.

Don't criticize your child's weight or appearance. Adolescence is a difficult time for most kids, and it's essential to provide them with a nurturing and supportive environment.

Some kids are more likely than others to develop eating disorders. Be extra vigilant if you have a family history of eating disorders or if you know that your child is under extreme pressure to look a certain way.

Eating disorders in children are very serious and can be deadly. If you think your child has an eating disorder, you should contact a doctor for help immediately.

Related: Eating Disorders in College Students
Eating Disorders: Why Are Girls More Affected?

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All teenagers worry about their appearance. Self-esteem can be precarious during adolescence, and body consciousness comes with the territory. But if you've noticed that your child is fixated on weight, you're probably worried. So what is the difference between normal behavior and behavior that might indicate an eating disorder?

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When a child shows signs of anxiety, we tend to think it will go away-she's just nervous or shy, and she'll grow out of it. But when the anxiety becomes so intense that it's seriously interfering with a child's life, and the life of her family, it's important to get help.

Serious untreated anxiety tends to get worse over time, not better, because the child learns that avoidance works in reducing the anxiety, at least in the short run. But as the child-and, indeed, the whole family-work to avoid triggering those fears, they only grow more powerful.

Medication is often prescribed for children with anxiety, as it is for adults. And medication -antidepressants are usually our first choice-often helps reduce anxiety. But what many people don't know is that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be very effective for kids who are anxious. In fact, research over more than 20 years has shown that CBT is the most effective treatment for reducing symptoms of severe anxiety. And unlike taking medication, the therapy gives children the tools to manage the anxiety themselves, now and in the future.

What is cognitive behavioral therapy?

Cognitive behavioral therapy is based on the idea that how we think and act both affect how we feel. By changing thinking that is distorted, and behavior that is dysfunctional, we can change our emotions. With younger children, focusing first on the behavioral part of CBT can be most effective. The goal is, essentially, to unlearn avoidant behavior.

One of the most important techniques in CBT for children with anxiety is called exposure and response prevention. The basic idea is that kids are exposed to the things that trigger their anxiety in structured, incremental steps, and in a safe setting. As they become accustomed to each of the triggers in turn, the anxiety fades, and they are ready to take on increasingly powerful ones.

Exposure therapy is very different from traditional talk therapy, in which the patient and a therapist might explore the roots of the anxiety, in hopes of changing her behavior. In exposure therapy we try to change the behavior to get rid of the fear.

Exposure therapy is effective on many different kinds of anxiety, including separation anxiety, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and social anxiety.

The Bully in the Brain

For children with anxiety disorders, the process begins by helping them, and their parents, get some distance from the anxiety and start thinking of it as a thing that is separate from who they are. One way I do this is by having them conceptualize it as a "bully in the brain," and I encourage kids to give the bully a name and talk back to him. Kids I've worked with have called him the Witch, Mr. Bossy, Chucky, the Joker, and, in the case of some teenagers, names I cannot repeat here.

We explain that we are going to teach skills to handle the bully, giving children the idea that they can control their anxiety rather than it controlling them.

Related: What to Do (and Not Do) When Children Are Anxious

It's also important to help kids really understand how their anxiety is affecting their lives. I may actually map out things a child can't do because of his fears-like sleeping in his own bed, or going to a friend's house, or sharing meals with his own family-and how that makes him feel. Getting kids to understand how their anxiety works and gaining their trust is important because the next step-facing down their fears-depends on them trusting me.

Adopting Robert Frost's observation that "the only way around is through," exposure therapy slowly and systematically helps a child face his fears, so he can learn to tolerate his anxiety until it subsides rather than reacting by seeking reassurance, escaping, avoidance or engaging in ritualistic behaviors such as hand washing.

How does exposure therapy work?

The first step is identifying triggers. We design a "hierarchy of fears"-a series of incremental challenges, each of which is tolerable, and which together build to significant progress. Instead of thinking in black and white terms-I can't touch a dog or I can't cross a bridge-kids are asked to consider degrees of difficulty. We might ask a child with contamination fears, for example, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how difficult would it be to touch the door handle with one finger? To touch and open the door?"

Related: How Anxiety Leads to Disruptive Behavior

For a child with a fear of vomiting, we might ask: "How difficult would it be to write the word vomit?" If that is a 3, saying "I will vomit today" might be a 5. To see a cartoon of someone vomiting might rate a 7. To watch a real video of someone vomiting might be a 9. At the top of the hierarchy would likely be eating something the child thinks will make him vomit. By rating these different fears, kids come to see that some are less extreme, and more manageable, than they had thought.

Next, we expose the child to the trigger in its mildest possible form, and support him until the anxiety subsides. Fear, like any sensation, diminishes over time, and children gain a sense of mastery as they feel the anxiety wane.

Intensive treatment

With a child who is severely anxious-who can, for instance, barely leave his room for fear that his parents will die, or must wash his hands dozens of times a day to avoid contamination-I may work with him several times a week, for several hours at a time. We do exposures in the office and then, when a child is comfortable enough, do them outside.

For someone with social anxiety, for instance, we might go out wearing silly hats, or walk a banana on a leash. For someone afraid of contamination, we might ride the bus together, or shake hands with strangers, then eat chips without washing.

Once we have worked through some exposures and he is feeling more confident, I assign homework to practice what we did in the sessions. We want kids to really master their exposures before moving up the ladder. And parents are taught to help kids progress by encouraging them to tolerate anxious feelings, rather than jumping in to protect them from their anxiety.

Treatment for mild to moderate levels of severity usually takes eight to 12 sessions, and some kids make more progress if they are also taking medication to reduce their anxiety, which can make them more able to engage in therapy.

It's important to understand that exposure therapy is hard work, both for kids and their parents. But as fear diminishes, kids get back to doing things they like to do, and the family gets back a child they feared they had lost-and that's a great reward.

Read More:
Best Medications for Kids With Anxiety
Why Childhood Anxiety Often Goes Undetected (and the Consequences)

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Treating Anxiety in Children | Behavioral Treatment | Child Mind Institute

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When a child shows signs of anxiety, we tend to think it will go away-she's just nervous or shy, and she'll grow out of it. But when the anxiety becomes so intense that it's seriously interfering with a child's life, and the life of her family, it's important to get help.

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Renee Jain is a life coach and founder of the programs GoStrengths! and GoZen! Rae: Let's dive right in! You have a really compassionate, non-stigmatizing take on anxiety. You're not a failure as a parent because your child is anxious. That must be so relieving for parents to hear. Jain has written about her own struggles with childhood anxiety, and sat down with me to talk about motherhood, anxiety, and mindfulness. Rae: So you can relate to both the kids and the parents.
Renee: I had bad anxiety as a kid, so I know how real a difficulty it can be. I remember it affecting the entire family. I know the pain that's associated with having a child with anxiety for everyone.

Renee: Absolutely. In the last couple years I've had babies. Having kids yourself you realize that you can read every book on the shelf, do as much research as you can, but when you're in the heat of the moment and a child comes to you in a panic, all that stuff gets thrown out the door.

I think in that moment you're providing short-term relief and that feels good to everyone at the time but it doesn't give kids the long-term relief that they need. So I focus a lot on changing those practices.

I'll give you an example: My daughter is afraid of changing tables right now. I don't know why! She's two and she doesn't want to go on any changing table except the one in her room, but if I'm in the airport that's not really going to work
Rae: You've written about the value of worry.
Now, it's much easier for me to avoid the situation because I know it will cause a meltdown. But I know from a research-based perspective that avoiding the anxiety trigger is just going to make things worse. The point being is that it's really hard to put the research into practice!

Renee: I think there is this mindset that we should have zero anxiety, that we should live a stress-free life and it's just not rational. From an evolutionary perspective there's a purpose to stress, there's a purpose to worry. It can be a protective mechanism, and it can also be a catalyst for change. A little bit of stress can actually benefit you.

[fbshare "I think just knowing that a little bit of worry is not bad for you-that's a HUGE win for a kid."]
Rae: That brings me to the work you do bringing mindfulness into anxiety treatment...
I think just knowing that a little bit of worry is not bad for you-that's a HUGE win for a kid. If they're sitting at a test and they're having an anxiety attack, just telling themselves that not only is that okay, but that a little bit of stress can actually motivate you to do well can make all the difference. I think we really need to change our perspective. A little bit of stress is ok.
Rae: So how can you start developing the skills you need to use mindfulness to combat anxiety?
Renee: It's a practice that's effective and you can learn it in a fairly quick manner. It's freely available and your child can learn it and learn it use it on their own. Kids and parents are going to face challenges throughout their lives, and these skills will always be useful.

Renee: A lot of the time we're either thinking about the future or the past. It's interesting that anxiety is triggered by either thinking about the future or thinking about past things that have happened. You're much less likely to be anxious if you're focused on the present moment.
Rae: I like that it's something you can participate in without any kind of ritual. The idea of something you have to "practice" can feel like just another thing you have to do, but these are just habits you can incorporate into daily life.
So there are a few very simple ways that you can bring yourself into the present moment. For example, just focusing on your senses-even for 60 seconds-on what you're feeling, what is it that you're touching, what can you taste, what do you see. Going through your five senses doesn't take long, but it can bring you into the present moment. And again, it's a mental habit. Let's say you do that once a day, even when you're not anxious. You're building a skill you can use to help relax yourself when you are anxious.
Rae: So when it comes to anxious kids, do these strategies stay the same or do you need a whole new playbook?
Renee: Exactly. Mindfulness is just part of the day. You don't have to beat yourself up for not being mindful. There are moments of being mindful every day. I'll give you another simple one. We develop habits, and the reason we do that is so we can be efficient in our lives. It's just easier when basic tasks are automated, and we do them so often they don't require thought so it's easy for our minds to wander. Brushing your teeth for example, you probably brush your teeth with your dominant hand and never think twice about it. But, say you tried switching hands. It would be awkward probably, but that novelty would bring you into the present moment, because you have to think about it! So doing something different activates you and takes you off autopilot.

Renee: The thing about little kids is that they're naturally mindful. Children are never on autopilot-they're very engaged in the present moment. They're fascinated and excited about their environment. Maybe they smell something they've never smelled before or see something new and exciting, things that our adult minds have glossed over because we're so used to them-that's mindfulness.

So they start out very mindful, but we sort of beat it out of them as they get older and go to school. So how do we help a child who is anxious? Like grown-ups, a lot of that will be coming from worries about the future or memories of bad experiences, so bringing them into the present is still really helpful.

For kids you want to make things (A) fun and (B) quick. If a kid is feeling anxious you can try a quick exercise that's fun. For example, I've used one I call the ninja walk, which is just what it sounds like. You have to walk around like a ninja for a minute, and ninjas are very quiet! So the kid is focusing on walking silently and sneaking around. It's fun and the concentration helps pull them into the present.
Rae: It also sounds like by bringing mindfulness into your own day you can model that for your children.
The thing about little kids is that they're very open. They're up for pretty much anything. It's pretty easy to teach a kid to be mindful, because in the end you're just uncovering what's natural to them.

Renee: It's so funny, my daughter is two years old and she does deep breathing with me. It cracks me up because sometimes she breathes like a bull-not quite deep breathing-but I do it every morning and she does it with me! So, absolutely, modeling is a great teaching mechanism. And there's a contagion effect to anxiety, so finding a way to be calm can help prevent your anxiety from spreading.

This is what I think. I think there are so many different tools that work for children in a variety of situations. There's no one way. But there are a lot of little tools and techniques you can use to get through the day and once you find something that works and start using it, it becomes a part of you and that's something you can fall back on for the rest of your life.

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Anxiety and Mindfulness - Child Mind Institute

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Renee Jain is a life coach and founder of the programs GoStrengths! and GoZen! Rae: Let's dive right in! You have a really compassionate, non-stigmatizing take on anxiety. You're not a failure as a parent because your child is anxious. That must be so relieving for parents to hear.