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i think in order for people to be happy they have to learn how to balance grades social life and doing the hobbies you love some people lean to much to a certain aspect of life and they feal they look another part i think i have done a really good job of finding balance and it is brought me great happiness and i think anyone could be happy if they balance their life better and be theirselves

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With the stress of finals upon many high school (and middle school!) students, I'm hoping we can pause for a moment to put it into perspective. Because the statistics on teen stress, my friends, are scary.

Like most parents, I want my children to succeed in school, and I'd like them to go to college. More than that, I want them to be engaged and passionate learners-not just in school but for their entire lives.

But when you look at the studies of college-bound kids with high GPAs, the picture is not rosy.

It's a portrait of chronic stress and sleep deprivation, pressure and depression-not one of passionate and joyful learners.

It seems that succeeding in school might not be a "happiness habit." Consider that in a study of kids from high-performing California high schools, 70 percent of the students "often or always feel stressed by their school work, and 56 percent reported often or always worrying about such things as grades, tests, and college acceptance."

Although some level of stress can, of course, be motivating or even healthy, chronic stress like what these students describe is very damaging to their developing minds and bodies. A quarter of the students in that study struggle with depression, and 7 percent had recently cut themselves, which people sometimes do to make emotional pain physical. Nearly half reported experiencing three or more physical symptoms of stress in the past month, such as headaches or stomachaches, that they attributed to their academic pursuits.

Many kids use drugs and alcohol to cope; one student said, "When I feel especially stressed out, I feel like intoxication is the best way out."

It isn't just kids from that California study, either, nor is it just high school students. Nine to 13-year-old kids say they are more stressed by academics than anything else, including bullying or family crises like death or divorce. In addition:

The number of kids and teens being treated for depression has doubled in the past five years; a quarter of teenagers felt "sad or depressed every day for two or more weeks" at least once during the previous year.

Suicides, particularly among girls, are on the rise. Among tweener girls ages 10-14, suicides were up 76 percent between 2003 and 2004; among teenage girls ages 15-19, suicides increased 32 percent. In 2007, 15 percent of kids "seriously considered attempting suicide;" seven percent actually attempted to kill themselves at least once. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among kids ages 10 to 24.

Twenty percent of students at two Ivy League schools report "purposely injuring themselves by cutting, burning, or other methods."

There are other significant signs that we are pushing our kids to the brink.

For example, 5.5 million kids and teens are treated for sports injuries every year; one study indicates that about 50-70 percent of these injuries are attributable to overuse. Kids will get hurt playing sports, yes-but they'll get hurt more often if we are pushing them too hard.

Another indicator that we are pushing our kids too hard is that the kids themselves report being exhausted. Teenagers need 9.25 hours of sleep per night, but the majority average only seven hours, and 25 percent get six hours or less. Younger kids are exhausted, too: first through fifth graders need 10-11 hours of sleep at night, but only 29 percent actually get that much.

Equally disconcerting is the fact that most teens resort to cheating in their quest to get ahead. Ninety-five percent of high school juniors and seniors say they cheated on a test, and 90 percent of middle schoolers admit that they have cheated. Kids feel that they need to cheat-rather than learn -in order to do well in school.

I probably don't need to say this, but I will: Cheating doesn't feel good. It makes kids feel badly about themselves, even when they don't feel especially guilty. Learning, on the other hand, does make kids feel good.

Clearly, our children are in great distress. We need to help them. While many kids are meeting the high standards for school success that we hold out for them, many of those same kids are sacrificing their happiness to do this.

Schools, of course, need to change their homework and testing policies. It sounds like a tall order, but it is possible. For evidence, look no further than Challenge Success, a research-based program that has shown measurable success in helping schools reduce student stress and support their physical and emotional well-being.

This program works. Kids who participate in it actually do better in school, even when they spend less time doing homework and less time worrying about their grades.

Not all kids are suffering, and we'll do well to understand why. For example, students at The Thacher School, in Ojai, CA, show remarkable physical and emotional health despite intense preparation for college. (Disclosure: I'm on Thacher's board.)

The Thacher culture is dramatically different the cultures of stress and cheating found among most college-bound kids. For this reason, I think it is important to take a close look at the places where kids aren't exchanging happiness for elite college admission.

Parents also play a very important role in making changes. Next week, I will outline the three things I think are most important for us to do to help save our kids.

References: All of the studies I've referenced in this post are summarized on the Challenge Success website, where you can also find links to the full journal articles.

© 2011 Christine Carter, Ph.D. C
Cross-posted from Christine Carter's blog, Raising Happiness, Science for Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.

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With the stress of finals upon many high school (and middle school!) students, I'm hoping we can pause for a moment to put it into perspective. Because the statistics on teen stress, my friends, are scary. Like most parents, I want my children to succeed in school, and I'd like them to go to college.

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video games act as a way to prove yourself to yourself because they are easy to get good at and demonstrate your intelligence and problem solving skills  to yourself and its much easier than real life, some even use it as an escape from real life. you learn from your mistakes without even having to deal with major consequences and it provides you with something to do and when you win at something you feel accomplished and good about yourself and some games you can play with others you feel apart of something and when you beat your friends or strangers you have something to boast about video games also have a lot of lore which i personally like to spend a lot of time learning about the lore (story)of the games universe so when i do something i can at least feel i have a reason for doing stuff in the game and it adds more pride to what i am doing and it is why fornite became so popular

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video games act as a way to prove yourself to yourself because they are easy to get good at and demonstrate your intelligence and problem solving skills  to yourself and its much easier than real life, some even use it as an escape from real life. you learn from your mistakes without even having to deal with major consequences and it provides you with something to do and when you win at something you feel accomplished and good about yourself and some games you can play with others you feel apart of something and when you beat your friends or strangers you have something to boast about video games also have a lot of lore which i personally like to spend a lot of time learning about the lore (story)of the games universe so when i do something i can at least feel i have a reason for doing stuff in the game and it adds more pride to what i am doing and it is why fornite became so popular

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being rich can make  you happy especially if they're self earned  and i'm saying this because a good amount of successful people came from nothing and feel proud of themselves when they fall they have experience and they can bounce right back up and accomplishing goals and bouncing back makes you stronger and proud something that makes anyone and everyone happy in gatsbys case it helped him to almost get daisy  

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being rich can make  you happy especially if they're self earned  and i'm saying this because a good amount of successful people came from nothing and feel proud of themselves when they fall they have experience and they can bounce right back up and accomplishing goals and bouncing back makes you stronger and proud something that makes anyone and everyone happy in gatsbys case it helped him to almost get daisy  

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Summer makes people happy for various reasons one is the longer days in sunlight it chemically energizes you and leaves you lots of time to do what you want their are 100s of activities in the summer another reason is people are hyped from school ending they have the option to sleep in or hang out with their friends and they have much less stress people ost people love having freedom plus in the summer you are more inclined to be active which scientifically makes you feel better a combination of these things make summer something kids wait for all year   

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Summer makes people happy for various reasons one is the longer days in sunlight it chemically energizes you and leaves you lots of time to do what you want their are 100s of activities in the summer another reason is people are hyped from school ending they have the option to sleep in or hang out with their friends and they have much less stress people ost people love having freedom plus in the summer you are more inclined to be active which scientifically makes you feel better a combination of these things make summer something kids wait for all year   

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If you catch yourself smiling more and feeling increasingly carefree during the longer days of the season, consider it a side effect of this time of year in the Northern Hemisphere: Summertime really does set you up to feel more joyful. Check out the seven sneaky ways sunlight and warm weather conspire to make you happier, calmer and more connected.

1. Sunshine Chemically Lifts Your Spirits

Thanks to summer's stronger sunlight and the extra hours in the day to soak it up, you're more likely to float through the day feeling energized and optimistic. It has to do with serotonin, a hormone that's been dubbed the "happiness hormone" by scientists. When your body absorbs UV light, it produces more serotonin, and that pumps your mood, explains Ellen Marmur, M.D., assistant professor of dermatology at Mount Sinai School of Medicine and director of Marmur Medical in New York City. Exposure to sunlight also shuts down production of melatonin, a hormone that leaves you feely sleepy and sluggish.

It only takes a few minutes in the sun to rack up these benefits, says Dr. Marmur. But if you plan on being outdoors for more than 10 minutes at a stretch, be sure to slather sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30 on any exposed skin, so you don't ruin your happiness haze with a painful burn.

2. The "School's-Out" Mindset of Childhood Still Lingers

Since kindergarten, many people have been conditioned to think of summer as a break from routine and responsibility. And this "school's-out" mindset carries over into adulthood, where many offices offer employees shorter hours and casual Friday dress codes. "Even though the work world operates year-round and responsibilities don't suddenly cease, we reflexively feel more carefree during the summer months, like we did when we were kids," explains Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based therapist specializing in the psychology of happiness.

3. Being in Nature Reduces Stress

We all feel calmer and more relaxed when we're surrounded by nature - a finding reported by researchers all over the world. Studies from University College London and Deakin University in Australia show that going on a bike ride through a park, strolling along the beach or just inhaling the aroma of flowers in bloom makes us feel less stressed and more serene. Need more proof? A French study published last year linked being in a natural environment with higher levels of personal happiness. And a 2013 study in the journal Social Science & Medicine found that spending time near a body of water in an urban area had a therapeutic effect - so city dwellers can reap the blissful benefits of nature as well.

4. Organized Holidays Offer Freedom

In many countries, summer provides official holidays and extended vacations to enjoy. It's also graduation and wedding season - two milestones typically honored with ceremonies and parties. "All that good cheer makes us feel optimism and joy for the future," says Thomas.

5. Breaking a Sweat Boosts Bliss-Producing Endorphins

Another consequence of good weather: You're less likely to blow off a jog, bike ride or other activity. And research shows that increasing your heart rate revs the production of mood-boosting endorphins (it's the mechanism behind the "runner's high"). Even if you don't take part in a specific activity, summer sets up the perfect conditions to move around in less constructed but equally bliss-inducing ways - say by spending the afternoon gardening or playing tug-of-war at a family picnic.

6. Social Interactions Are Easier

Backyard barbecues, pool parties, company picnics, al fresco dinner parties ... summer offers plenty of opportunities for socializing. "Humans are social creatures and mixing with friends, family and even strangers makes us feel part of something larger than ourselves, which is fulfilling," says Thomas. "The pleasant weather and relaxed vibe help bring people out of isolation and gives us the chance to interact and connect."

7. Small Indulgences Are Everywhere

Trashy beach books. Trips to the ice-cream-shop. Afternoons spent lazing on a blanket or hammock. "Summertime is about taking time to smell the roses, so to speak, and giving yourself license to indulge a little without guilt," says Thomas. We can't think of a better reason to take a vacation day from work to lie in a chaise lounge or meet up with friends and chill out with a round of ice cream floats.

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If you catch yourself smiling more and feeling increasingly carefree during the longer days of the season, consider it a side effect of this time of year in the Northern Hemisphere: Summertime really does set you up to feel more joyful.

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having close relationships with people makes people happy because people share memories  and many things like inside jokes that will keep people laughing for a long time being somewhere with  friends brings a lot more enjoyment than if you are by yourself because with others they put their thoughts in the picture and combine it with yours to establish a good conversation it makes people feel understood and it makes them feel good about themselves to feel like your wanted and you belong in society is fundamentally the key to happiness and is best found with close relationships.One more thing is that Happiness is contagious

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having close relationships with people makes people happy because people share memories  and many things like inside jokes that will keep people laughing for a long time being somewhere with  friends brings a lot more enjoyment than if you are by yourself because with others they put their thoughts in the picture and combine it with yours to establish a good conversation it makes people feel understood and it makes them feel good about themselves to feel like your wanted and you belong in society is fundamentally the key to happiness and is best found with close relationships.One more thing is that Happiness is contagious

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sometimes people go to drugs in attempt to make them happy but hurts them and everyone around feeling no purpose in life because there afraid of failures of lives and they don't keep getting up and trying or finding a purpose and so they will never be happy as themselves

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Updated 7/4/2016
No Purpose or Mission

If you have not realized that having a genuine mission or purpose is essential for true success and ultimate happiness, you're really missing out. Not having a mission or crystal clear purpose is the surest way to live an uninspired and mediocre life. How do you expect to enjoy life when you don't even know what you want?
Living Someone Elses Dreams

Take a deep breath. Let go. Relax. Live in the moment. Be happy for once. That is our natures natural state you know. 😀

Your subconscious is the most empowering personal growth tool at your disposal. Are you using it for your benefit? Consciously watch your thoughts for a day and you will be surprised at how negative you can be. Yes this does take practice but you can eliminate negativity with time. Reprogram your subconscious with happy thoughts, and watch miracles manifest into your life. 😀

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Updated 7/4/2016 No Purpose or Mission If you have not realized that having a genuine mission or purpose is essential for true success and ultimate happiness, you're really missing out. Not having a mission or crystal clear purpose is the surest way to live an uninspired and mediocre life.