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He used better adjectives then me and he rote more onomatopoeia

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My suspense writing text was a mixture of action and suspense more or less like: deaths,destruction and a place with evvil,perilous,baleful aliens being robots. But I think I added more action then suspensive things
But I did a good a text with loads of action and suspense

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My text has rhetorical question however the England text has lots of question that make the rider think.My text has good openers but his text has long and short sentences.My text has good connectives but his text has exclamation fore inspect.

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In my text I started with an suspension opener (unexpectedly Boby) and England 🏴 with a more detailed opener like ( as the sun set over the town of Gronder ) And for me the two were good.

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While I found several wrong spelled words in the person’s work, I found empty words and exclamation marks to engage the reader in my work. But that doesn’t mean my work is better than hers.

Less talk and more info now. The person from England placed all the features of a suspense story story, not needing to say the she placed more than 1 question mark and several engaging sentences.

Who said that she never get things wrong? Her punctuation is not perfect, but my is also not that good. I checked, and she have great imagination, she created a city, made a new king, etc... But she forgot to describe the king in the beginning of her marvelous story.

With all respect,
Me!

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I put a short sentence as my opener and he put a longer sentence

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On my story I put my character on a dark place alone: Bob was solitary anyone liked him. And my story was kind of suspense and action it is first person.

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On the text of England he used more details on the beginnings and a used more a less on my beginnings of my sentences.And of the England I used more suspense on my text.

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My text and England’s text had many differences and not much similarities. I spotted several spelling mistakes in England’s text although I am sure mine has a lot too. I admit that the England’s text beginning is more engaging and interesting than mine but I personally think I did a better job in my middle. Both texts had great adjectives. To be fair, I didn’t use much figurative languages and neither did the student but he included some. My use of short sentences was definitely better than his, but then again this person had better things than I have.

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In my text I added some suspense connectives, ex: suddenly e verbs I think I cold have included more adjectives like the other writer.😍

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In my text I added a glimpse of something,simile and metaphors. While in the Britain text there were metaphors,empty words, onomatopoeia, exclamation for impact and place your character on a lonely dark place. However I also found, some misspelled letter due to not finishing the letter T. She did the linde but didn’t do a horizontal line to finish it. It was challenging to understand some words. If she checked it one more time it would be easier to write and understand the meaning.

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In my text I Forgot to add figurative language and in the England’s they added (mostly onomatopoeia)however they have some misspelled words 👍

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In my text I used exclamation for impact. The England text used ellipsis. 😄

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1)I placed my character in a lonely dark place while in the England students text the king wasn’t alone he was in a hall with dead bodies and with a strange person in the woods
2)In the England students text the first paragraph gets more the readers attention while on mine wasn’t really good it wouldn’t drive the readers attention

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The England text they used similes and in my text I didn’t use.
I used many short sentences and in the England text they don’t use much.

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My text is in first person the English text is not.
And I prefer mine because people want revenge and it’s SUSPENSE🧟‍♂️

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The start of the other child’s text of England had more detail at the start than mine🙃
I also put a talking mushroom for personification 🍄

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My text is a little different because the student also used better and powerful verbs
The student also has written the same amount of paragraphs.

💩💩🤑😴