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This is an example of an abusive relationship

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Abusive relationship can be such as coercion, ridiculing, harassment, isolating an adult from family, friends, or regular activity, use of silence to control behavior, and yelling or swearing which results in mental distress.

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This is the type of abuse that many people think of when they hear the word abuse but actually..

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There are so many other stuff that is considering as abusive relationships such as Emotional, sexual, mental, and financial abuse.

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Why do people stay in an abusive relationship?

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Why do people stay in an abusive relationship?

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Why is it important to know about abuse? 

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Why is it important to know about abuse? 

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What are the effects of abuse on a person? 

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What are the effects of abuse on a person? 

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Why do people stay in abusive relationship

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Why do people stay in abusive relationship

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There are reasons why Women stay in abusive relationships

Domestic violence: There are so many domestic violence victims don't speak up because they fear being judged and pressured by others
"I believed i could love the abuse out of him" One victim said about why she stayed.

Distorted Thoughts: Being controlled and hurt is traumatizing, and this leads to confusion, doubts, and even self-blame. "I believed i deserve it," and, "I was ashamed, embarrassed, and blamed myself because i thought i triggered him." Two victims said about why they stayed.

Damaged Self-Worth: Related was the damage to the self that is the result of degrading treatment. Many women felt beaten down and of no value, saying:"He made me believe i was worthless and alone," and, "I felt i had done something wrong and i deserved it."

Children: These women also put their children first, sacrificing their own safety: “I was afraid if he wasn’t beating me he would beat his kids. And I valued their lives more than my own.” And, “I stayed for 20 years while I protected our children, all while I was being abused.” Others mentioned staying to benefit the children: “I wanted my son to have a father.”

Family expectations and Experiences: Many posted descriptions of how past experiences with violence distorted their sense of self or of healthy relationships: “I watched [my dad] beat my mom. Then I found someone just like dad,” or, “Because raised by animals, you partner with wolves.” Some mentioned family and religious pressures: “My mother told me God would disown me if I broke my marriage.”

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This cycle involves four stages:
1. Building tension
2. An Incident of abuse
3. Reconciliation
4. Calm

1.
Abusive partners often lash out in response to external stressors. Anything can fuel tension: family issues, trouble at work, physical illness, fatigue. Frustration and dissatisfaction intensify over time, often prompting feelings of powerlessness, injustice, anger, and paranoia. Sensing the simmering tension, you might try to find ways to placate the abusive partner and prevent abuse from happening.

2.
The abuser eventually releases this tension on others, attempting to regain power by establishing control.
Abuse might involve:

insults or name-calling

threats of harm or property destruction

attempts to control your

behavior

sexual or physical violence

emotional manipulation

3. After the incident of abuse, tension gradually begins to fade. In an attempt to move past the abuse, the abuser often uses kindness, gifts, and loving gestures to usher in a “honeymoon” stage.

4.
To maintain peace and harmony, both parties generally have to come up with some sort of explanation or justification for the abuse.
The abusive partner might:

apologize while blaming others

point to outside factors to justify their behavior

minimize the abuse or deny it happened

accuse you of provoking them

They might show plenty of remorse, assure you it won’t happen again, and seem more attuned to your needs than usual. You might begin to accept their excuses, even doubt your memory of the abuse. Maybe it really was nothing, like they said.

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Why is it important to know about abuse? 

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Why is it important to know about abuse? 

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The importance of recognizing child abuse { and how to prevent it}... The psychological damage that can come as a result of abuse can last for years, well into adulthood, and can lead to substance abuse issues, legal battles, and a cycle of violence and neglect that affects future generations.

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When NFL linebacker Ray Rice knocked his fiancée Janay Palmer unconscious in an elevator in 2014, it didn't initially get much attention. He was accused of domestic violence and suspended for two games. After a few weeks, he was formally charged, but he and Palmer were married the next day.

However, when a security video of the event surfaced, it quickly went viral. Watching Janay Palmer get knocked down and roughly dragged out of the elevator by Rice had a powerful effect on viewers. The waves of outrage that followed caused the NFL to scramble to increase their punishment of Ray Rice and conduct an internal review of their domestic violence policies.1

Things took an interesting turn when Janay Palmer spoke out in defense of her husband. She apologized at a press conference saying: "I deeply regret the role I played that night," and later asked people to stop their judgments and accusations. "Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is," she posted on Instagram, asking others to not take anything from the man she loves.

This provoked a new public response. Incredulous observers could not understand how Palmer could be standing by her man. The attacks now turned toward her, with commenters questioning her sanity, innocence, and motives. Why would someone stay with, let alone defend a man who had knocked her unconscious? What was wrong with Palmer that she would do this?

These accusations and questions prompted a pushback. Victims and women's advocates spoke out in defense of Palmer and described the complicated dilemmas women in violent relationships face. Beverly Gooden, a human resources manager in North Carolina, started a hashtag on Twitter, #WhyIstayed, where she shared her reasons for remaining in a violent marriage. "I tried to leave the house once after an abusive episode, and he blocked me," Gooden said, later adding: "I thought that love would conquer all." Her hashtag became a rallying point, with hundreds of victims posting their stories of the factors that kept them in abusive relationships.

As domestic violence researchers, we were curious how these posts could help professionals and public observers better understand the unique challenges victims of domestic violence face. With colleague Jaclyn Cravens, and doctoral student Rola Aamar, I examined these voices to see what could be learned. We collected hundreds of posts from women all over the world and read, coded, and sorted them, publishing these findings in 2015.2 Through this analysis, we identified eight main reasons women stay in abusive relationships:

1. Distorted Thoughts. Being controlled and hurt is traumatizing, and this leads to confusion, doubts, and even self-blame. Perpetrators harass and accuse victims, which wears them down and causes despair and guilt.3 For example, women shared: "I believed I deserved it," and, "I was ashamed, embarrassed, and blamed myself because I thought I triggered him." Others minimized the abuse as a way to cope with it, saying: "[I stayed] because I didn't think that emotional and financial abuse was really abuse. Because words don't leave bruises,'' and, "Because I didn't know what my boyfriend did to me was rape."

2. Damaged Self-Worth. Related was the damage to the self that is the result of degrading treatment. Many women felt beaten down and of no value, saying: "He made me believe I was worthless and alone," and, "I felt I had done something wrong and I deserved it."

3. Fear. The threat of bodily and emotional harm is powerful, and abusers use this to control and keep women trapped.4 Female victims of violence are much more likely than male victims to be terrorized and traumatized.5 One said: "I was afraid of him...I knew he'd make leaving an ugly drawn out nightmare." Attempting to leave an abuser is dangerous. One woman felt trapped because of her husband's "threats of hunting me down and harming all my loved ones including our kids while I watched and then killing me."

4. Wanting to be a Savior. Many described a desire to help, or love their partners with the hopes that they could change them: "I believed I could love the abuse out of him." Others described internal values or commitments to the marriage or partner, with tweets like: "I thought I would be the strong one who would never leave him and show him loyalty. I would fix him and teach him love." Others had pity and put their partner's needs above their own: "His father died, he became an alcoholic and said that God wouldn't want me to leave him because he needed me to make him better."

5. Children. These women also put their children first, sacrificing their own safety: "I was afraid if he wasn't beating me he would beat his kids. And I valued their lives more than my own." And, "I stayed for 20 years while I protected our children, all while I was being abused." Others mentioned staying to benefit the children: "I wanted my son to have a father."

6. Family Expectations and Experiences. Many posted descriptions of how past experiences with violence distorted their sense of self or of healthy relationships: "I watched [my dad] beat my mom. Then I found someone just like dad," or, "Because raised by animals, you partner with wolves." Some mentioned family and religious pressures: "My mother told me God would disown me if I broke my marriage."

7. Financial Constraints. Many referred to financial limitations, and these were often connected to caring for children: "I had no family, two young children, no money, and guilt because he had brain damage from a car accident." Others were unable to keep jobs because of the abuser's control or their injuries, and others were used financially by their abuser: "[My] ex racked up thousands of debt in my name."

8. Isolation. A common tactic of manipulative partners is to separate their victim from family and friends. Sometimes this is physical, as one woman experienced: "I was literally trapped in the backwoods of WV, and he would use my little boy to keep me close." Other times isolation is emotional, as one woman was told: "You can either have friends and family or you can have me."

Although these eight reasons for staying are common, they do not describe every victim and situation. Women can also be perpetrators, and there are many patterns of violence.6 Yet, these posts provide compelling insider's views of the difficulties of making decisions in a violent relationship, and this is helpful for outsiders to understand. One reason many victims hesitate to speak up is because they are afraid of being judged and pressured by friends and professionals.7 If more people responded to victims' stories of abuse with concern and compassion, instead of with criticism, more victims might speak up and find the support they need to live a life free of abuse.

Jason B. Whiting, Ph.D., LMFT is a Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Texas Tech University. He researches deception, communication, and abuse in relationships and is the author of the upcoming book Love me True: Overcoming the Surprising Ways We Deceive in Relationships (2016). For more information visit drjasonwhiting.com and follow him on Twitter: @Jason_Whiting.

1. Kantor, J. (2016). Seeing abuse, and a pattern too familiar: Janay Palmer, Ray Rice's wife, implied the assault was taken out of context. New York Times. Retrieved from: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/10/us/seeing-abuse-and-a-pattern-too-familiar.html?_r=0

2. Cravens, J. D., Whiting, J. B., & Aamar, R. (2015). Why I stayed/left: An analysis of voices of intimate partner violence on social media. Contemporary Family Therapy. DOI 10.1007/s10591-015-9360-8.

3. Whiting, J. B., Oka, M. & Fife, S. T. (2012). Appraisal distortions and intimate partner violence: Gender, power, and interaction. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. doi: 10.1111/j.1752-0606.2011.00285.x

4. Barnett, O. W., Miller-Perrin, C. L., & Perrin, R. D. (2011). Family violence across the lifespan: an introduction (3rd ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

5. Johnson, M. (2008). A typology of domestic violence: Intimate terrorism, violent resistance, and situational couple violence. Boston: Northeastern University Press.

6. Johnson, M. (2008). A typology of domestic violence: Intimate terrorism, violent resistance, and situational couple violence. Boston: Northeastern University Press.

7. Merchant, L. V., & Whiting, J. B. (in submission) Factors in couples' desistance from domestic violence.

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Eight Reasons Women Stay in Abusive Relationships

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When NFL linebacker Ray Rice knocked his fiancée Janay Palmer unconscious in an elevator in 2014, it didn't initially get much attention. He was accused of domestic violence and suspended for two games. After a few weeks, he was formally charged, but he and Palmer were married the next day.

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Therapists and other experts often talk about abuse as something that happens within a clearly defined cycle. But what is that cycle, exactly?

For decades, many experts relied on the cycle set forth in the 1970s by psychologist Lenore Walker in her book "The Battered Woman." It was based on anecdotal evidence from interviews with heterosexual women who had experienced abuse.

This cycle involves four stages:

1. building tension

2. an incident of abuse

3. reconciliation

4. calm

Walker's cycle does offer useful insight into the signs and stages of abuse, and many advocates and treatment professionals use it today.

Still, critics have noted a few important limitations with this model. And if you've experienced abuse, you might find that it doesn't feel totally accurate.

Read on to learn more about the elements of the cycle, why it might not be as helpful as experts once thought, and other ways of thinking about patterns of abuse.

The cycle of abuse, also sometimes called the cycle of violence, helps illustrate common patterns of abusive behavior in relationships.

It also helps provide clues toward a deeper understanding of why people experiencing abuse often find it difficult to break free.

1. Tensions build

Abusive partners often lash out in response to external stressors. Anything can fuel tension: family issues, trouble at work, physical illness, fatigue.

Frustration and dissatisfaction intensify over time, often prompting feelings of powerlessness, injustice, anger, and paranoia.

Sensing the simmering tension, you might try to find ways to placate the abusive partner and prevent abuse from happening.

You may feel anxious, on your guard, and hyperalert to their potential needs. You might alternate between tiptoeing around them, trying not to set them off, and making an extra effort to provide physical and emotional support.

2. Incident of abuse or violence

The abuser eventually releases this tension on others, attempting to regain power by establishing control.

Abuse might involve:

They might accuse you of making them mad or blame you for your "relationship problems."

Keep in mind that people choose to abuse others. Any tension they experience may help explain the abuse, but it never excuses it.

3. Reconciliation

After the incident of abuse, tension gradually begins to fade. In an attempt to move past the abuse, the abuser often uses kindness, gifts, and loving gestures to usher in a "honeymoon" stage.

This devoted behavior can trigger the release of dopamine and oxytocin, helping you feel even more closely bonded and leading you to believe you have your "real" relationship back.

4. Calm

To maintain peace and harmony, both parties generally have to come up with some sort of explanation or justification for the abuse.

The abusive partner might:

apologize while blaming others

point to outside factors to justify their behavior

minimize the abuse or deny it happened

accuse you of provoking them

They might show plenty of remorse, assure you it won't happen again, and seem more attuned to your needs than usual. You might begin to accept their excuses, even doubt your memory of the abuse. Maybe it really was nothing, like they said.

This reprieve offers relief from the physical and emotional tension and pain.

You might feel certain that whatever upset them and triggered the abuse has passed. You can't believe they'd do anything like that again.

Rinse and repeat

This cycle then repeats over time.

This "cycle" happens over and over within abusive relationships, though. The length of time between each repetition can vary. It often shortens over time as the abuse escalates.

As time goes on, the calm period may become very short or even disappear from the cycle entirely.

Although abuse often does happen in a cycle or within a larger pattern, it doesn't happen in the same way all the time, even in the same relationship.

Narratives that suggest otherwise can overlook important signs of abuse and deny the experiences of survivors.

While acknowledging the uses of Walker's four-part cycle, experts have simultaneously raised concerns around a few key ways it falls short.

It centers on women abused by men

Walker's research focused on women who had experienced abuse from male partners. She used their stories to develop the cycle, introducing the terms "battered woman" and " battered woman syndrome " as ways of talking about domestic violence and abuse.

Male violence toward female partners does make up a significant component of intimate partner violence. Yet looking at abuse through this heteronormative lens makes it more difficult to recognize the experiences of people who don't fit this model.

If you don't believe you can experience abuse due to your gender or the type of relationship you have, you might not notice or even look for the signs.

When reaching out for support, you might encounter doubt, even dismissal, from professionals and loved ones who have a limited understanding of the complex nature of abuse.

It can lead to victim-blaming

The idea that abuse always happens in the same cycle can make it easier for outsiders, abusers, and even survivors themselves to put blame for the abuse where it doesn't belong:

"You had to have known it would happen again."

"They wouldn't have gotten so jealous and angry if I hadn't gone out."

"You should have left as soon as they calmed down."

In all cases, though, the responsibility for abuse lies with the abuser. No matter what you did or didn't do, abuse is never your fault.

It's normal to want to have faith in someone you love when they promise to change. Even when you don't fully believe them, you may worry attempting to leave could provoke more serious abuse.

You might also doubt you have the resources or ability to support yourself, an idea abusers often reinforce. Remaining in the relationship and attempting to keep them calm, then, often becomes a survival strategy in itself.

It's somewhat out of date

The definition of abuse has changed and expanded over the years to include any tactics used to control or maintain power over others, such as:

financial control

threats of sexual violence

humiliation

verbal degradation

The four-part cycle acknowledges that abuse can involve verbal or emotional harm, but it still focuses primarily on physical violence. Nonphysical abuse tactics, which may happen through all stages of the cycle, can still cause a great deal of harm.

Consider, for example, the tendency of abusers to brush off or deny abuse. This manipulation is a form of abuse, even if it happens during the reconciliation or calm stages. And this specific behavior can make it harder to leave the relationship.

It suggests abuse can be predicted

Abuse often happens without warning, outside of any set cycle.

Sure, certain warning signs may suggest the possibility of abuse, but no one can predict with certainty whether it will happen, and when.

Abuse often begins slowly and subtly, without physical violence. Many people don't realize what's happening even if they have some familiarity with these traditionally accepted stages.

Also consider that anyone can perpetuate or experience abuse. Seeking signs of abuse only in people of a specific gender, community, or background can limit awareness of other abusive situations.

In the 1980s, Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs staff members developed a new approach to looking at abuse: the Power and Control Wheel. This wheel offers a concise diagram of some of the most common behaviors experienced by people in abusive relationships.

Detailed experiences of survivors informed the development of this wheel, just as Walker used accounts from battered women to create her four-part cycle.

But the Power and Control Wheel creators also wanted to emphasize the range of behaviors used by manipulative and abusive partners.

You can view the wheel here and find tips for reading it below:

Power and control are the center of the wheel, representing the goals of abuse: exerting power and dominance to maintain control in the relationship.

Within the spokes, you'll find the various tactics used to achieve these goals and keep the person experiencing the abuse feeling powerless to take action.

On the outside of the wheel appear physical expressions of abuse: bodily harm or sexual assault. This rim closes the wheel, in a manner of speaking; abusers often use physical aggression to reinforce the pattern of intimidation playing out on a more everyday basis.

This wheel breaks from the cycle of abuse by making it clear that, while acts of violence may not happen regularly, abuse usually happens on an ongoing basis.

By giving specific examples of emotional and verbal tactics, this wheel also makes it easier to identify abuse and get support.

Limitations of the Power and Control Wheel

While the Power and Control Wheel offers a more nuanced picture of the insidious and consistent nature of abuse, it isn't perfect.

The wheel explores abuse occurring in the same heteronormative context as the four-part cycle. Though it effectively illustrates the power dynamics and imbalances characterizing relationships where men abuse women, it doesn't address the various dynamics present in other scenarios.

Removing the gendered pronouns from the wheel may help acknowledge that people of any gender, in any type of relationship, can experience abuse.

Yet abuse experienced by men and people in nonheterosexual relationships often relates to factors this wheel doesn't account for.

A more comprehensive understanding of the factors driving abuse in any type of relationship will go a long way toward helping other survivors open up about abuse and get support.

Since abuse can happen in any number of ways, people may not recognize it immediately, even when they experience it directly.

Not all abusers use the same tactics. They may never even threaten physical violence. Still, several key characteristics nearly always indicate domestic abuse.

Abusive partners often try to maintain power in the following ways:

making all the decisions

controlling your words and behavior

keeping you from going to work, spending time with friends or loved ones, or seeing your healthcare provider

threatening pets and children

destroying belongings

blaming you for their behavior

taking or controlling your money

pressuring you to have sex

going through your phone and computer

It's best to talk to a therapist or advocate right away if your partner does any of these things, or you:

feel generally uneasy and unsafe

find yourself altering your behavior to keep them happy

believe they might hurt you if you don't do what they ask

Our domestic violence resource guide can help you take the first step.
The four-part cycle of abuse offers one method of understanding certain types of relationship abuse. Yet these four stages aren't set in stone, so using them to make predictions about abuse isn't always helpful.

Abuse is complicated and often difficult to recognize and escape. This essential reminder can make a big difference, both for advocates learning to identify key signs and survivors working toward recovery.

Not sure whether you're experiencing abuse? Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233, or visit their website for free, confidential support.
Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she's committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.

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Cycle of Abuse: Understanding the 4 Parts

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Therapists and other experts often talk about abuse as something that happens within a clearly defined cycle. But what is that cycle, exactly? For decades, many experts relied on the cycle set forth in the 1970s by psychologist Lenore Walker in her book "The Battered Woman."

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The Importance of Recognizing Child Abuse {and How to Prevent It}

Child abuse comes in a number of different forms but can have lasting, devastating effects on the victims and their families. The psychological damage that can come as a result of abuse can last for years, well into adulthood, and can lead to substance abuse issues, legal battles, and a cycle of violence and neglect that affects future generations. It's imperative, then, that we know what the different types of abuse are, how to spot the warning signs, and how to keep it out of our own homes.

The CDC (Center for Disease Control) estimates that 1 in 7 children suffered from some form of abuse in the past year. In 2014, over 700,000 children were affected by it, and over 1,500 children died as the result of it. This very real problem is sometimes dismissed by those who believe that physical violence is the only type of abuse that can be inflicted upon a child, but that is only one aspect; there's also emotional abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse. The victims are much more likely to have behavioral or emotional problems as they continue through their teen and young adult years, and many are at risk for drug and alcohol addiction, depression and suicide, and eating disorders.

Recognizing Child Abuse

Examples of child abuse can include physical abuse, such as hitting, kicking, or shaking; neglect of any kind, including not meeting a child's needs for food, shelter, clothing, or education; emotional abuse, such as shaming, threatening, or name-calling; and sexual abuse, including physically abusing a child or exposing him/her to sex acts.

In many of these cases, the abuser may not initially seek to harm the child but does so after losing control. Stress and anger play a huge part in child abuse, especially when the abuser is a parent or caregiver. It's important to understand that children learn differently from each other and at different paces, and that sometimes their age plays a large role in their behavior or ability to remember what is expected of them. Childhood is a turbulent time, with many children reacting to influences at school and during social activities, and it's not always easy to know the right way to proceed in parenting. It's okay; you're not alone. Children don't come with a guidebook, so if you feel you don't understand your child's needs or that you don't know much about typical development, it might be a good idea to seek out a parenting class or even go online to find out more about your child's age group.

Preventing Child Abuse

It can be easy to lose patience with a small child, especially if you have to repeat yourself often, but if you feel yourself losing control it's imperative to take a step back, take a deep breath, and remove yourself from the situation for a moment. Sometimes it's important to call up a friend and vent about work and relationship stress to get those negative emotions out before they manifest themselves in other ways. Don't hesitate to ask for help if you feel you are losing control where your child is concerned.

It can also be helpful to actively find ways to bond with your child and make your family unit stronger. Set aside a certain amount of time every day to help with homework or just talk about their day. Let them know that no matter what happens, you love them and will always be there for them. Strengthening your family can help prevent behavioral issues that can lead to stress.

If you recognize signs of abuse in someone you care about, help is available. It's never too late to step in and make a difference.

About Sean Morris

Sean Morris is a social worker turned stay-at-home dad. He has experience in managing a career with parenting, transitioning to a family-focused lifestyle, and a marriage that has lasted 20 beautiful years (and counting!).

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The Importance of Recognizing Child Abuse {and How to Prevent It}

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The Importance of Recognizing Child Abuse {and How to Prevent It} Child abuse comes in a number of different forms but can have lasting, devastating effects on the victims and their families. The psychological damage that can come as a result of abuse can last for years, well into adulthood, and can lead to substance [...]

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What are the effects of abuse on a person? 

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What are the effects of abuse on a person? 

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Maltreatment can cause victims to feel isolation, fear, and distrust, which can translate into lifelong psychological consequences that can manifest as educational difficulties, low self-esteem, depression, and trouble forming and maintaining relationships.

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If you are in immediate DANGER or fear for your safety, please CALL 911!

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The following service providers offer services across Canada, contact the provider nearest you.

British Columbia

Crisis Lines (24/7):

Alberta

Crisis Lines (24/7)

Saskatchewan

Crisis Lines (24/7)

Manitoba

Crisis Line (24/7)

Ontario

Crisis Lines (24/7)

Quebec

Crisis Lines (24/7)

New Brunswick

Nova Scotia

Prince Edward Island

Newfoundland (and Labrador)

Northwest Territories

Yukon

Nunavut

National
To view a national list of transition houses, and to find a shelter in your area, please visit https://www.sheltersafe.ca/
The National Residential School Crisis Line: 1 866 925 4419
National Aboriginal Circle Against Family Violence
Kids Help Phone: 1 800 668 6868
MyPlan (safety planning app)

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Find Help Across Canada - Ending Violence Association of Canada

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If you are in immediate DANGER or fear for your safety, please CALL 911. The following service providers offer services across Canada, contact the provider nearest you. British Columbia Ending Violence Association of BC British Columbia Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse Government of BC Victim Services Police Victim Services of British Columbia BC ...

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How to get out of an abusive relationship 

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How to get out of an abusive relationship 

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Getting out of an abusive relation isn't easy, but you deserve to live free of fear. Here's how to find help for abused and battered women.

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How to Get Out of an Abusive Relationship - HelpGuide.org

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Escaping domestic violence and abuse isn't easy, but help is available. Learn how to protect yourself while you explore your options.

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What is domestic violence and woman abuse?

It is the use of psychological, physical or sexual force in an intimate relationship.

The intimate relationship can include a current or past partner, or a family member.

It can be actually happening or is being threatened by the abuser.

It is a pattern of controlling behaviours that may include physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and financial abuse.

It happens across all cultures, religions, ages, sexual orientations, educational backgrounds and income levels.

It can be deadly and anyone close to the family involved may be at risk.

Typically abuse escalates in frequency or severity, especially if the abuser uses physical violence.

Where to go for help

Women abuse:

London Abused Women's Centre
Offers counselling, advocacy, safety planning
519-432-2204
Lawc.on.ca

Sexual assault:

Safety Planning
1. Call for help

If you need emergency help, call 911.

For crisis counselling, call the Abused Women's Helpline: 519-642-3000.

2. Tell someone

Tell someone you trust about the abuse

Tell your friends and family about your plans

3. Create a safety plan for leaving the abuser
Signs of an abusive relationship

Power and Control Wheel (PDF)

The Power and Control Wheel shows how power and control is the main cause of abusive behaviors.

The Power and Control Wheel can be used in many types of relationships heterosexual, gay and lesbian.

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Equality Wheel (PDF)

The Equality Wheel shows the correct ways to interact in a healthy relationship.

Community Resources

Women abuse:

London Abused Women's Centre
Counselling, advocacy, safety planning
519-432-2204
lawc.on.ca

Sexual assault:

First Nations:

AT^LOHSA Native Family Healing Services Inc.
24 hour crisis line 1-800-605-7477
atlohsa.com

Francophone services:

Fem'aide
24 hour helpline for francophone women
1-877-FEMAIDE (336-2433)
femaide.ca

Child abuse:

Children's Aid Society of London & Middlesex
Child protection services for children at risk
519-455-9000
After hours emergencies: 519-858-5998
Toll free: 1-888-661-6167
caslondon.on.ca

Supports for men:

Elder abuse:

Educational resources:

London Coordinating Committee to End Woman Abuse
Links to supports and resources
lccewa.ca

Neighbours, Friends and Families
Information on helping someone who is being abused
519-661-2111, extension 87486
neighboursfriendsandfamilies.ca

Make it Our Business
Information on domestic violence in the workplace
makeitourbusiness.com

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It is the use of psychological, physical or sexual force in an intimate relationship. The intimate relationship can include a current or past partner, or a family member. It can be actually happening or is being threatened by the abuser. It is a pattern of controlling behaviours that may include physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and financial abuse.

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In fact, there are more than 3,300 women (along with their 3,00 children) sleep in an emergency shelter to escape domestic violence

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Half of all women in Canada have experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual violence since the age of 16

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Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women - more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. 1/2 of all homeless women and children in the U.S are fleeing from domestic violence. Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.

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What is domestic violence and woman abuse?

It is the use of psychological, physical or sexual force in an intimate relationship.

The intimate relationship can include a current or past partner, or a family member.

It can be actually happening or is being threatened by the abuser.

It is a pattern of controlling behaviours that may include physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and financial abuse.

It happens across all cultures, religions, ages, sexual orientations, educational backgrounds and income levels.

It can be deadly and anyone close to the family involved may be at risk.

Typically abuse escalates in frequency or severity, especially if the abuser uses physical violence.

Where to go for help

Women abuse:

London Abused Women's Centre
Offers counselling, advocacy, safety planning
519-432-2204
Lawc.on.ca

Sexual assault:

Safety Planning
1. Call for help

If you need emergency help, call 911.

For crisis counselling, call the Abused Women's Helpline: 519-642-3000.

2. Tell someone

Tell someone you trust about the abuse

Tell your friends and family about your plans

3. Create a safety plan for leaving the abuser
Signs of an abusive relationship

Power and Control Wheel (PDF)

The Power and Control Wheel shows how power and control is the main cause of abusive behaviors.

The Power and Control Wheel can be used in many types of relationships heterosexual, gay and lesbian.

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Equality Wheel (PDF)

The Equality Wheel shows the correct ways to interact in a healthy relationship.

Community Resources

Women abuse:

London Abused Women's Centre
Counselling, advocacy, safety planning
519-432-2204
lawc.on.ca

Sexual assault:

First Nations:

AT^LOHSA Native Family Healing Services Inc.
24 hour crisis line 1-800-605-7477
atlohsa.com

Francophone services:

Fem'aide
24 hour helpline for francophone women
1-877-FEMAIDE (336-2433)
femaide.ca

Child abuse:

Children's Aid Society of London & Middlesex
Child protection services for children at risk
519-455-9000
After hours emergencies: 519-858-5998
Toll free: 1-888-661-6167
caslondon.on.ca

Supports for men:

Elder abuse:

Educational resources:

London Coordinating Committee to End Woman Abuse
Links to supports and resources
lccewa.ca

Neighbours, Friends and Families
Information on helping someone who is being abused
519-661-2111, extension 87486
neighboursfriendsandfamilies.ca

Make it Our Business
Information on domestic violence in the workplace
makeitourbusiness.com

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It is the use of psychological, physical or sexual force in an intimate relationship. The intimate relationship can include a current or past partner, or a family member. It can be actually happening or is being threatened by the abuser. It is a pattern of controlling behaviours that may include physical, sexual, verbal, emotional and financial abuse.