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With the turn of the century, the presence of internet has become a usual component of people's live. consequently, Internet related crime increasingly affects live of people

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With the turn of the century,internet related crime increasingly affects live of people. As a result as the presence of internet has become a usual component of people's live.

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With the turn of the century, the presence of internet has become a usual component of people's live. As a rseult internet related crime increasingly affects live of people

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Link cohesion example - connect the two ideas

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Link cohesion example - connect the two ideas

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With the turn of the century, the presence of internet has become a usual component of people's live. Internet related crime increasingly affects live of people

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http://bit.ly/2lbkadN

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DEMING         N0711690   27/2/2017                                                                                                                                           What do you know? society has a new breed of criminal and it is about internet crime. Today , I am talking about “internet related crime affects only particular groups and should not lead to a change of focus away from traditional crime fighting”. I against this statement, the following is my reasons.I don't agree with this view, because it has two factors. First of all, Internet crime is through the computer and the Internet. It use advanced Computer technology and internet a wide range of ability. For example, Many hackers are using computer technology to invade other's computer, other’s computer is not only particular group, may be it is  young people, adult and old people.  Another reason, I think that should  lead to a change of away from traditional crime fighting. Because internet crime and some other crime have A few different. Internet crime is More dangerous than other crime and It is not easy to find. For example, If you meet robbery on the road, you can look at this person's appearance and provide some information to the police, but Internet crime does not have Any information.So we should remain vigilant, because internet crime can damage all people. We should  lead to a change of focus away  from traditional crime fighting, because different crime need to use different way.

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DEMING         N0711690   27/2/2017                                                                                                                                           What do you know? society has a new breed of criminal and it is about internet crime. Today , I am talking about “internet related crime affects only particular groups and should not lead to a change of focus away from traditional crime fighting”. I against this statement, the following is my reasons.I don't agree with this view, because it has two factors. First of all, Internet crime is through the computer and the Internet. It use advanced Computer technology and internet a wide range of ability. For example, Many hackers are using computer technology to invade other's computer, other’s computer is not only particular group, may be it is  young people, adult and old people.  Another reason, I think that should  lead to a change of away from traditional crime fighting. Because internet crime and some other crime have A few different. Internet crime is More dangerous than other crime and It is not easy to find. For example, If you meet robbery on the road, you can look at this person's appearance and provide some information to the police, but Internet crime does not have Any information.So we should remain vigilant, because internet crime can damage all people. We should  lead to a change of focus away  from traditional crime fighting, because different crime need to use different way.

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Amal Al Edaili_Argumentative Essay_FIRST DRAFT

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Highlighted by Lin

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Thinking about cohesion - repeating key words when you write

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Thinking about cohesion - repeating key words when you write

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Read the essay:
1. Highlight examples of good vocab repetition
2. Highlight examples of bad vocab repetition
3. How could you change it? suggest an idea.

Make notes onto a copy of the essay and upload back onto the Padlet like in my example

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Laura example for crime essay vocab cohesion

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Amal Al Edaili_Argumentative Essay_FIRST DRAFT