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How we absolutely failed before we reached that two months waiting time?

How we totally, absolutely, could not hold back from all the horny bottled up.

The first time I saw you I was sincerely so...what's the word. Man, is this cheesy? I was so elated.

Your personality, your face, your everything match into this lovely bundle I want to hold on my grip. I wanna hold you and love you and just. God. It wasn't hard at all falling for you all over again.

I think I have told you a million times that that picture you sent me with snacks next to you remains my absolute favorite.

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Putting lucky in cause entire sons and daughters need to be in here. Every part of us. always.

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I am putting this picture mainly because I know how much you treasure this cat, and how much this lovely beautiful baby had been a big part of you. And every part of you, whether they are still there or they are lingering, lovely memory of past, they all deserve to be loved.

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تو منو داری، حتی بعد ا

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تو منو داری، حتی بعد از خاموش شدن آخرین ستاره.

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When you had your little existential crisis and decided to trust me with it, I felt so honored and so proud of you.

That was a moment I don't think I'd ever forget. I feel the trust you put in me shifted that day and it was...very precious to me.

It's hard to word what I felt but that call was...a treasure.

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Thinking back on it, confessing how much I loved you was the best thing I had done in 2025.

The way I said I love you over phone while you were doing your skin routine. I loved you for that. That was probably the most cutest shit happening to me. I was so fucking nervous Eli, you have no idea. My heart was literally beating out of my chest, and I was so nervous not out of fear because...there was so much of it and I was scared of overwhelming you. But I could not...just NOT say it. You? yeah. You.

I was not gonna miss out on the one person whom I knew was gonna become the most important star in my life.

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You felt exactly like this in my heart.

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𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 "𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖"

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Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling in Love (Lyrics)

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To fall in love with you over and over again? I don't think it is. Drunk you made me fall for you again. Made me wanna hold your head against my chest and talk to you for hours. It made me think that yeah, this is the person I wanna take time to appreciate for the rest of my life.

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Is it bad that I am using so many writing references...they are good memories to me. I was so greedy I honestly wanted to hoard you to myself. You even put up with that god. Thank you.

Maybe silly of me but you have this way of things...like in every language you speak lays an endless love I want to adore. It's not about keeping you locked up or anything, its the way that your words taste like heaven, its the way your gaze holds gentle affection and god, do I adore you for it.

I don't think I'd ever stop admiring you.

I don't even want to.

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Adding this because this moment makes me all gooey and soft and tender and like a seasoned chicken or something.

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Again. and Again. and Again. I wrote it. Cause I refused to ever forget this one no matter how bad with names I may be, and every time it was beautiful. I love your name. I love how it's said. I love how gentle it is because you? you have a heart of gold. I know you don't take compliments well and you will call me biased simp and shake your head at all this and just let out this deep ass sigh and go silent but. I won't stop saying it. I won't stop saying how much I adore it.

You? you keep cutting from your own patiency to make sure everyone's alright. You always take care of others to the point that you forget yourself, and you? you are so endlessly forgiving.

I know you prefer I'd say get a grip bitch, you got it, it be like that. And I try to. But god, do I want to constantly remind you.

Whether you believe me or not, is on you, but it won't change how much I respect you.

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And the crackships that never end huh? I don't want them to. I'm having a bakuboom moment of let me love you in every universe pleasepleasepleaseplease moment.

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This wouldn't be right without including princess

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This wouldn't be right without including princess

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One day, I wanna be the one to brush her fur. I wanna be the one that cleans that carpet so when you come home all tired, I can just hold you and all of us can turn into a puppy pile.

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You remember how I used to keep stealing your brain juice and say sorry? I was never sorry for it. I love being the center of your attention.

In every conversation.

God, aren't I fucking greedy? How do you put up with this shit.

I don't know how but you have, for a whole year. And I can't be more grateful because you made me realize things can get better. Yeah, things in our lives got worse but you just constantly were the best thing happening to me every day. The reason I know I will push on. Cause you know what? I wanna see how gray your hair gets. I wanna see the wrinkles and I refuse to let no one else take your hand.

I want to be the one that appreciates you in every single second.

I want to selfishly hoard you. You. Your words. Your brain. Your hands. Your existence.

I am selfish in a way I guess. Is that my toxic trait? I'm not sure. I never knew what's the right way or wrong way of loving, but all I know is that I love you.

And I wanna be there to make you happy over and over again, one year at a time.

I want to be there when things get boring, when we have nothing to do. Whether we have words or when we run out of them.

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Because in every way, I am a disaster. Bad anxiety, got none of my shit together, yet somehow, through all of that you decided I will stick with this woman. Even if she is miles away. You somehow decided you'd choose lil old me over someone much closer, someone who you can hold easier. You somehow decided to go out of your way and be expressive even if you are more action than speech when you are shutting down. You did that. All for me. And I think I just might be the luckiest woman alive to be at the receiving end of your affection. Possessive, Jealous, a lot of things I am. Because I crave you, because I am truly, wholeheartedly, entirely, am in love with you

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Gotta add them, after all nerding thru this hoes got us here. They need a new mentions. 

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Gotta add them, after all nerding thru this hoes got us here. They need a new mentions. 

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Biggest, fattest crush known to man. I wanted to wake up beside you, I wanted to call you. I wanted to spend time with you, it did not matter whether we were writing, or just existing silently in each other's space, or watching something. Just being around you gave my heart so much...so much. So much love. So much affection.

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The first time I heard your voice I was so shook I had to WALK. Babe you could hate your voice as much as you want but you have the most soothing voice, when you talk to me I just...I wanna hear that voice constantly. Whether you are sad, angry, happy, any fucking emotion. I want to hear it. I like hearing it in voice and falling sleep to it. Falling sleep to your voice always gives me the best sleep hours.

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It all started with writing. I realized the only person I could constantly fall in love for is you. Bleeds into IC sometimes, I know, I had my mistakes and you have been so patient with me. I love you for it. I love you for every single time you put up with me being a clingy possessive of a girlfriend. But I thought about it alot, that you are so endlessly easy to love for me that no matter how or what situation it is, I'll fall for you. I will always fall for you, over and over again. I don't say these to be pressuring, I do not expect such thing, but I want you to know that you merely being you in every shape or form or being...is so fucking brilliant, you shine. You make my heart do backflips harder than the ones dick grayson did in circus. you make me drop off a roof like that one video where Jason pushes Dick off the roof and panics. Yeah, its a good fall, filled with excitement, and suddenly you give me wings. Is this too cheesy, I'm sorry if this is too cheesy. I just have a lot of feelings to share with you on our anniversary. I mean, the day hasn't come yet, and I'm pre-writing this but...It won't change.

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This still haunts me. I was pacing and reading this god. You...Elizae...the things you do to me.

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Art. Your brain holds splashes of color within every last inch of them. You speak wonders, you speak beauty. Even when sadness consumes you, even when people do their absolute awful best to push you down, you exist, you survive. Yeah, it may have fucked you up, but everyday you inspire me to wake up and be better. Maybe my progress is slow, and in no way am I perfect. But I am honored to be at the receiving end of you love. Maybe I don't have my shit together, but for you, I will try my best to get my shit together. Cause I want to be someone you are also proud of.

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For an anniversary post. But here we are! I was reading back on our texts and thought that- jeez. No one had ever turned me on like this. Goodness, I wanted this to be all soft and cute but here I am acting horny over you. I'm sorry I- you make me feel things. You make me ache for you in more ways than one, both in nasty and none nasty way. Your words, your voice, your smart brain, your lips, you. You. Do I sound like an obsessed creep? probably. I don't think I can stop that. I adore you Elizae.

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Now who would I be if I don't add our first playlist.

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Now who would I be if I don't add our first playlist.

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That I obviously flirted with you all over those tracks. People mix ic into oc I was mixing oc into ic cause I was so down bad. Sue me.

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Now this wouldn't be a good memory lane if I do not add our first "date" or might I say, Blind date.

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11. قرار جان

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11. قرار جان

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I don't know if I, back then, managed to convey how thankful I was. Perhaps you did think I was just clinging to you cause of everything that was going on but god know. Jira. Elizae. My everything. I long to hold you. I have longed for it every since my heart started beating for you. That's why I chose that nickname for you actually. Gharare Jan. You are, in every way, the very definition of that nickname to me.

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This was ultimate rizzing btw, as a week enthusiast. You giving me this kind of gentle princess treatment was honestly insane. I don't know when this is gonna happen. But reading back on it put the biggest smile on my face. Because I want to. I want to one day hold your hand and call you mind in a different way. Labels are whatever, but it's...I wanna experience it with you. I wanna get high and devour that wedding cake with you, I wanna tug you in the middle of that crowd and show everyone how proud I am to be the one to look you in your eyes and say I love you over and over again. Every morning, Every week. Every fucking chance I can get.

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You know, you were right. If I was in the USA it would have been a uhaul lesbian situation. I thought about it ever since you explained it to me and every single time I got to the simple conclusion that I do not wish to be away from you.

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You know. I love the rain. probably the thing that helps me sleep, that cures me, that makes me feel better. You felt like rain pouring down on my dry lands and nothing had ever felt better.

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You almost called me mommy once btw. That was so hot.

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Didn't matter when or where I was drunk. You. You. Always you in my head. Always picked up my phone and went to a corner cause I loved to see your text pop up in my phone. The notification alone was enough to make me happy. It made me feel so alive. You made me feel alive. I knew it was a sudden momentary love. You were planting a home in my heart one brick at a time and god, I fell in love with every last brick you put. I wondered some days that how could anyone around you not fall for you every day. I am not biased, I truly wondered...is this bias? I don't know. I don't care. You are just...sometimes I fail at words. I may wax poetry in writing yet here you are, leaving me speechless. I don't think I'd ever get tired of knowing you fell for me. I don't think I'd ever get tired of loving you.

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You may have made this playlist with these songs for our little pinkie pop girl. But god did I feel like flirting with you through it. Every song. Every little thing. Every piece of puzzle that was you. Let me be the light.

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Livingston - Nightlight (Official Lyric Video)

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Spoilers: We didn't reach the birthday. I had an early unlock.

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Your drunk ass talking tongue piercing to me was so fucking cruel. I was sat up on my bed losing my shit over this. I was so so fucking turned on, and I do not just get turned on over people Elizae. God. You had me for so long, you had me by the tits cause I ain't got the balls in this relationship.

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DREAMERS, Big Boi - Palm Reader ft. UPSAHL (Official Video)

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I was reading this back then thinking I kinda fit the bill but damn was I so damn awkward and didn't know how to hit on your properly. We already know that story don't we?

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Not the first time I fell for you, was not gonna be the last time. It was gonna happen over and over again. I didn't know someone could do that. I didn't know I could wake up and think of someone and be like...maybe life is worth living, mauve, despite all the depression that consumes me, despite all the pain, despite every single thing that ruined me, there is someone out there that became a light. Someone that is so eternally worth living for. Someone I don't think I'd ever want to stop loving.

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I was falling in love. It was never about the roleplay, it was you. It was you expressing yourself. It was you being you. It was you being so gentle. It was you allowing your muse, allowing your writing, allowing your fingers to seep into your words. It was you, a genius mind. It was you. Always. Every day. I saw you beyond whatever character that was there. And in every way, whether it was through characters, whether it was in a story, whether it was in another universe. I wanted you. I feel like I sound like Bakugo right now, shut up, don't laugh SHHH I can imagine your face right now. But. Whatever it was. Whatever you wrote, however you expressed yourself- every piece. Every little thing about you, I wanted it. I wanted to love it. I wanted so deeply for a simple chance for you to allow me to love everything you have. I hope so far...in the past year, I had somehow managed to let you know that I love you.

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I have nothing touching to say in this area, this was really cute while I was scrolling and made me kick my feet and giggle cause iwejgfuiwegfuewg he is worried about me uoiwfeguiewgfiuwge so cute, holds boob. I love you. I love you. God. Goodness. I love you.

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So many days stuck away from you. When you had spoken so much to me, when you had build a warm home in my brain. I was going through massive withdrawal. I could not stop thinking about you during those days. All I thought about was you, all I wanted to do was to message you, all I could think of was...is it okay? is this okay to be falling so hard for this person? will he be okay with this? how am I gonna deal with this. Maybe it would come off at creepy to them. BUT. I couldn't let go. I didn't want to. It was the most selfish I had ever felt, I wanted you. I wanted you with my entire heart.

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Because, honestly I was scrolling down our messages and it made my heart warm. It always does. When you talk about something that interests you, when you go on and on for hours about a little thing that got your attention. Whether its a fictional character, or a kind of food you wanna make, or a activity you wanna do. It's always so so effortlessly adorable. I find these moments so cute. So fucking cute. So when I tell you I have cute aggression, something as simple as this can give me a massive cute aggression.

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I fell fast. nerd. smh. You started crashing out over all your opinions, your ideals, how you viewed a story, how you could talk about it for hours and there was genuine interest. There was love, there was so much lovely brain cells and I was already harboring the fattest crush known to man cause haha this dude is like...really cool...fuck...I'm so fucked.

I had never been wanted to be more fucked. /sfw for once.

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I Actually was really impressed over this. I was like woah this person is...smart as hell. My crush was already developing. I was already heart eyed at you but well, have to chill, have to calm down, have to wait and see but. You. You were so effortlessly you that it was not easy preventing myself from falling.

I didn't try to prevent myself.

I wanted to fall head first.

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1. This is not where it all started, but close enough.

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1. This is not where it all started, but close enough.

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All over porn, which is a funny way to get close by the way. But again I am quite the pervert and have an actively nasty mind. So I'm not remotely surprised. but god, you were...so nice. So adorable, talking to you was so...easy. It was easy. Falling for you was inevitable.