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Anonymous 1m
Sydney^^


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Anonymous 1m
Sydney^^


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"I didn’t even wait for the car to stop before I unbuckled my seatbelt and ran into the middle school. My heavy backpack slammed into my back as I sprinted down the hallway. Bam. Bam. Bam. I climbed the stairs two at a time, ignoring the glares and groans of other students as I cut them off on their way to their class"

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"My heart burned for  the people who had wronged me by taking my job." - It shows the heat of the anger the person was feeling.

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The List: "It's not like you care anyway" -shows inner thoughts
The Game: " I could feel my heart pounding like a tympani" - Good comparisons
Finding Jane: " Why can't I just be happy?" - shows inner thoughts

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Finding Jane: "God, I hate myself. I mean look at you Jane; askewed, bulbous nose, fat chipmunk cheeks, thunder thighs, purple hands making sure you know that you are always cold. Your eyebrows can’t even keep themselves up, who struggles with their eyebrows? You do, you struggle with everything. " These lines stood out to me because the author uses imagery, and self to self conflict to describe her true feelings.
The game: "Saying goodbye to my brothers was like a beautiful flower dying in my hands." the author uses a simile to portray how strongly they felt about the bond on the team and how much they would miss it.

The list: " I will work. I will rise above everything I have done."
This choice of diction is so strong and shows the true determination of the author.

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Shows instead of telling with the use of descriptive adjectives and diction

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Personal insight

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All in first person, past tense

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ᏞᎪᏁᎬ buᏒᎳᎬᏞᏞ

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ᏞᎪᏁᎬ buᏒᎳᎬᏞᏞ

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-First Person
-Lots of inner dialogue
-Clean and smooth usages of descriptive detail and context.

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Uses syntax, and has the main subject overcome some obstacle, also uses many different forms of rhetorical devices.

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"crisp, white paper taped to the tile,"
"I"

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Finding Jane: "The way this light reflects off of my it brings out so many tones: some gold, some yellow, and some browns." Detailed Imagery
The Game: "I could hear Battle begin to roar like a lion who had just massacred its prey." Very strong imagery and simile used
Stories from the School Grounds: " looked up and saw a crisp, white paper taped to the tile, shining out against the yellow color like a jewel in a mine." Strong imagery used

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The story is very descriptive. And shows there physical state and there mental.

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"askewed, bulbous nose, fat chipmunk cheeks, thunder thighs, purple hands making sure you know that you are always cold" - Vivid imagery used

"Brothers I've given my all. Brothers who have in return given me their all. Brothers who have been there through thick and thin" - Repetition of the word "brother"

"It’s not like you care anyway. I have something I actually care about upstairs." - Inner thought/conflict

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"Love yourself" i demanded"  really stood out to me

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A Vignette is an excerpt that through the use of many rhetorical devices the author shows and not tells in first person narrative

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Descriptive word choice
First person POV

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Finding Jane:" I mean look at you Jane; askewed, bulbous nose, fat chipmunk cheeks, thunder thighs, purple hands making sure you know that you are always cold." It is very descriptive and shows exactly how she feels about herself.
The Game: "Saying goodbye to my brothers was like a beautiful flower dying in my hands." It is very descriptive and it really brings home his emotions.
The List: " The light tinkling of my heart shattering was heard only through my flaming ears, but I was too furious to even care." This is very descriptive, and it really shows how the author felt in the moment.

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A vignette is a short story that uses descriptive details and figurative language to get the point across.

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"They will regret this decision" - Willing to fight for what they want
" I could hear Battle begin to roar like a lion who had just massacred its prey" - intense imagery and figurative language
" I now looked at the beautiful girl standing in front of me" - solid resolution to the piece
Kaylee T

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The writing is all about showing and not telling. very detailed

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A retelling of a short but very emotional moment in the author's life.

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A short, descriptive story in the first person detailing with vivid imagery and figurative language an inner conflict.

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A recollection of the author's past that includes descriptive detail, conflict they overcame, and inner dialog. - Kaylee Trbovich

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Written about something that means a lot to you. If done correctly you can use a lot of literary devices, causing a lot of description and a very well written vignette.

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Written about something that means a lot to you. If done correctly you can use a lot of literary devices, causing a lot of description and a very well written vignette.

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Melissa Kiser
Uses strong describing words to show what happened and how the author felt in that moment, instead of telling what happened.

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The List: "I will work. I will rise above everything I have done." It shows how the narrator was not only devastated, but also invigorated and motivated by the snub.

The Game: "All of our work was nothing." It conveys how the narrator felt hopeless and completely distraught after losing the game.

Finding Jane: "You do, you struggle with everything." It shows how the narrator is not only not content with her looks, but also dislikes her performance in every other area of her life.

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Melissa Kiser
Written in first person

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A short account of an author's personal experience and the emotions or thoughts that went along with it.