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CoP Five Members: Write the names of CoP Three members here

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CoP Five Members: Write the names of CoP Three members here

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EDUC 7100 assessment 1    COP for assignment 2  xiaohui.docx

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1. Assessment Rubric
-Statement of a clear argument- 6
-Selection of relevant literature-7
-Clear communication-7

2. Strong points
- Clear introduction of the traits of leadership.
-The chosen references have high relevant with the topic.

3. Suggestions
Your outline is very clear, which is good. It would be better if you can give some examples in part 2 & 3, which can make your essay more persuasive.

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1. Assessment Rubric
-Statement of a clear argument- 6
-Selection of relevant literature-
-Clear communication-7

2. Strong points
- The outline is very detailed in every part.
- The last part has high relevant in educational leadership.

3.Suggestions
It would be better if you can select suitable relevant references to support your essay.

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1. Assessment Rubric
-Statement of a clear argument- 7
-Selection of relevant literature-7
-Clear communication-7

2. Strong points

-Your outline is very clear.
-You will use a table and diagram to support your essay.
- It is good that the combination of the topic and real life context.

3.Sggestions
It would be better if you can introduce what type of leadership you will mention  in the last part.

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1. Assessment Rubric
-Statement of a clear argument- 6
-Selection of relevant literature-7
-Clear communication-7

2. Strong points
- A clear background of the essay.
- The outline combine with your own cultural background that make your essay has more persuasive.

3. Suggestions
It would be better if you can make a comparison of these two type of leadership.

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1. Assessment Rubric
-Statement of a clear argument- 6
-Selection of relevant literature-7
-Clear communication-7
2. Strong point
Your have a clear understanding of traits theory, and organize them in a clear structure
3. Suggestions
The secoind and the third part of your outline is kind of similar, I think you need more literatures to distinguish them and support your point.

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1. Assessment Rubric
-Statement of a clear argument- 6
-Selection of relevant literature-/
-Clear communication-7
2. Strong points
-You had a clear understanding of transformational leadership, good work!
Your structure is so clear that you can explain the transformational leadership step by step.
3. Suggestions
-It would be better to show your critical analysis in your literature review
-Remember to write reference list at the end.

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1. Assessment Rubric
-Statement of a clear argument- 6
-Selection of relevant literature-7
-Clear communication-7
2. Strong points
You wrote explicit background about the school and the reasom why you chose this topic. It is helpful for people who are lack of relevant background to understand.
3. suggestions
- I think you can change the order of your assignment , because the third part you talk about transformational and transactional leadership. But, before it, the article talks about instructional leadrship.
I suggest you to descrive the reason why you change the topic, that could be more clear. That is my personal suggestion

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1. Assessment Rubric
-Statement of a clear argument- 6
-Selection of relevant literature-7
-Clear communication-7
2. strong points
Clear structure and enough reference to support your article. With your structure, you can clearly explain your idea.
3. suggestions
In the last part of your article, more criticlle analysis is needed. Hope to see your criticle reflection on your topic.

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Statement of a clear argument: 6

Selection of relevant literature: -

Clear communication: 6

Strong points: Your outline is complete and detailed. I can see the structure and the variety of the topics.

Suggestions: I am sure you have collected the appropriate literature and have all the references, make sure not to forget to write them down in your final paper.

It seems to me a little broad on the second levels of your outline, maybe you can narrow it down a little and be more specific.

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Statement of a clear argument: 7

Selection of relevant literature: 7
communication: 7

Strong points: Your outline is clear and well structured.

It is great that you can talk and refer to a specific topic and setting, the one that you work in. I am sure that will make your analysis easier and better. Good choice!

Suggestions: I am not sure where are you going to be talking about “modern expectations” and what do you mean by that. Make sure to define the term for a better comprehension.

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Statement of a clear argument: 7

Selection of relevant literature: 7

Clear communication: 6

Strong points: I find your choice very interesting, it is great that you can review and analyze the situation of your country, good choice!

Your outline is completed and well-structured.

Suggestions: Maybe you can be clearer about what do you mean on the third level of your outline. It seems a little confusing for me.

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Statement of a clear argument: 6

Selection of relevant literature: 7

Clear communication: 6

Strong points: I find your choice very interesting, great topic. Good selection of literature.

Suggestions: Your outline seems a little broad to me, maybe you can narrow it down a little and make it more specific, which is also going to be easier to you to analyze.

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1. The topic to be covered is possible to broad. This can mean that the main topic to be discussed is not as clear as it could be. 6
Literature - 6
Communication - 6

2. I think the topic is really interesting and clearly relevant.

3.  I would possible swap part 3 to the top and have that as your thesis (will need to be changed from a question)

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Clear argument - 6
Literature - ? (didn't see any)
Clear communication - 7

Strong points - It is clear from your work that you have in depth knowledge of the topic and it is clearly relevant.
Suggestion - I think you would have great difficulty in achieving in depth analysis on all of the topics you mention in the brief outline. The assignment is only 2000 words. I think your topic at the moment is too broad and could be narrowed to a specific topic or area.

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Statement - Very clear what you want to discuss - 7
Literature - 7
Communication - 6

Strong points - Great to have a topic that you have experience in and have an interest in.
Suggestions - Instead of writing "Chinese western schools" maybe write "Western Chinese schools". When you say Chinese western schools" I straight away think of international schools, not a geographic location.
Also you address the impacts of both types of leadership multiple times, maybe just do it the once.

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Statement - 6
Literature - 7
Communication - 6

Strong points - I like the topic, very relevant. Good that you will discuss the impacts.
Suggestions - When comparing two types of leadership a visual guide can help. Also you mention the impact of leadership on students, this will need to be specific to a country or area. It cant be too broad.

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Feedback for Alma, from Gigi

1. Assessment Rubric

Statement of clear argument: 6
Selection of relevant literature: 6
Clear communication: 7

2. Strong Points
-Clear format that easy to follow

-Good to have a detailed understanding or introduction of Traits Theory in Part 1
-Relevant literature are chosen

3. Suggestions:

-Good argument in Part 3, however, a definition or criterion of leadership success should be given

-Little broad in Part 3.2, specific domains should be stated

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Feedback for Ross, from Gigi

1. Assessment Rubric

Statement of clear argument: 7
Selection of relevant literature: 7
Clear communication: 7

2. Strong Points
-Good selection of literature, and most of them are up-to-dated

-Great to have real life experience in discussion

-Very interesting argument, specifically Part 4 stating the drawback of other leadership to evidence instructional leadership is the effective one

3. Suggestions
-Part 3 is a good argument, but “modern expectation” should be defined
-Think about the consistency, Part 2.2 discussion focus on a modern QLD high school, then 3.0 have no limitation, but 4.0 involve some context of QLD school, this may confuse readers.

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Feedback for Xiaohui, from Gigi

1. Assessment Rubric

Statement of clear argument: 7
Selection of relevant literature: 7
Clear communication: 6

2. Strong Points
- Well-organized structure that easy to follow

-Great to have own experience in discussion, especially Part 2 have a very in-depth analysis of current leadership in Chinese Western Schools.

-Up-to-dated and relevant literature are chosen

3. Suggestions

-Be aware the word limitation, there are only 2000 words but two leadership model are discussed in your paper

-Better to adjust the term of “Chinese Western School”, it’s little confused

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Feedback for Kangyi, from Gigi

1. Assessment Rubric

Statement of clear argument: 6
Selection of relevant literature: 6
Clear communication: 6

2. Strong Points

-Clear outline of the paper

-Relevant literature are chosen

-A Good topic to argue- comparing two model of leadership

3. Suggestion

- Outline seems too broad, Part 2.3 and Part 3.1 seem overlap, should clearly state which domains will be compared, e.g. foundation, practice, outcomes or other specific area like teachers’ efficiency, school climate etc.
- Be aware of the word limitation, 2000 words may be not enough to have an in-depth analysis on two leadership model, so narrowing the scope may be needed