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Can this be deleted?

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1) I think it's tough to say. I've been out of high school for a bit, but, according to my memory, that sort of bullying tapered off towards the end of my high school career. Now, obviously, that isn't enough to warrant a true judgement, and I'm sure my experience does not represent the norm. I would hope that, given recent progressive trends and wider acceptance of the LGBT movement, the idea of boys needing to be "masculine" or "manly" falls more the wayside in favor of a greater acceptance.

2) Your example was absolutely spot on! I would not that calling someone a (language incoming) "faggot" seems to be more and more common as a normative insult, and, given the context with which that word was often associated with, I feel this could be especially harmful. I believe in this situation, and other related ones, we, as educators, should be proactive in deconstructing the idea of something "gay" being equated with being a negative. This is an instance where many parents might argue that this is something to be dealt with outside of the classroom but, in my opinion, the weight of the educational system outweighs that, and any opposition to correction and better understanding here.

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I think bullying of boys for not being "manly" is an issue, but I would not say that it is rampant.  At least relative to how it used to be for generations past.  I think it still occurs but it may be more subtle.  I felt pressure growing up to not do things that were considered "girly."  I hope it will be different for future generations.

2. One that used to really get under my skin is "don't be a baby." It does not inherently have a gender based connotation but the way it was used was similar to saying "man up." A lot of times it was in order to convince me to do something that I should not be doing anyway. Like a method for eliciting bad behavior.

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1. Although I believe there is a culture of promoting masculinity and degrading anything that does not fir in the mold of the Masculine American Male, I do believe, however, there are many variables that go into the reason some of these bullied young men pick up a gun and commit these horrible acts. On the other hand, we have to consider why it is mostly the adolescent white boys from suburban neighborhoods. I believe there is an issue with the loss of kindness lately. In reality, students are more cruel than they have every been. When thinking about the correlation of this specific group, it is likely that this demographic has the most access to social media. In other words, racial minorities, who live in low income communities may not have a cell phone, WiFi, or even the internet; thus, can escape the barrage of dreadful comments. Lastly, there is a disconnect for the value of human life. I am not completely sure of its source, but I liken school shootings to attempted suicides. As a way for the person to call attention to themselves, saying in a very abrupt way that they can't take it anymore.
2. I do think the saying depend on the age. Much like yours Christopher, I have heard younger students claim something "is gay", likely without intentionally harming a gay person, but nevertheless using the term negatively. In the higher grades, grade 9 and up, I find the comments are delivered with far more malicious intent. Quite possible to ruin someone's reputation. These comments are generally not a single word or phrases but rather rumors sent out among the student body to destroy the victim. At its worse it can include calls of "faggot" in the halls or cafeteria. Although we may not want to get involved in all the student's drams, as educators we have to be aware of these situations, and stop them where they start. In fact, I would give the victim a voice by giving them a choice to face the rumors head on. More importantly, I think positive support for all students, regardless of their social standing must start with the leaders of the school. If the coaches and principals facilitate belonging then the rest of the student body are more apt to follow

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1. I do think that boys are often bullied by their peers for not conforming to "masculine" gender stereotypes and that some boys often feel trapped by the box that these gender stereotypes put them in (just as girls do). The problem that should be paid attention to is that gender stereotyping on either boys or girls is detrimental to everyone. As educators, we should be trying to teach adolescents that these stereotypes are harmful and unnecessary. Until recently, I would've said I believed that bullying related to these shorts of stereotypes was on it's way out and that our society as a whole was making a transition to more inclusive, gender-neutral territory. Unfortunately, I think bullying incidents of this type continue on more than we'd like to admit as an enlightened culture and that we should be more proactive about educating kids against these types of behaviors.

2. As an educator, I haven't heard any of the "put downs" in my school environment. But I am lucky enough to teach in a private school wherein kindness and acceptance reign king and no one is bullied or stereotyped by or for their behavior. When I was a student, I heard lots of the masculine put downs discussed here, with "gay" especially being thrown around as a derogatory term. To combat these sorts of behaviors, I think educators need to help foster environment of acceptance, love, and kindness, and teach children and adolescents to embrace differences.

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1)       I think that as a society men are rejected when they do not fit the manly action man that is constantly shown in films. I think this has led to a society that expects men to act and behave a certain way. I am not certain that there is a connection between bullying and violent offenders. I think this way because of my interest in the Columbine shootings. Both of the men who committed this crime were sociopaths who recorded video sessions and journaled why they wanted to kill fellow students. Their only motivation was to make people fear them.

2)       “Man up” “Don’t be a sissy” “That’s girly” “That’s only for girls”

This Halloween I faced a situation when a three year old in my class told me he was going to be Minnie Mouse. I asked his mother about this and she said she tried to get him to want to be Mickey Mouse, but he insisted on being Minnie. On the day of the class’s Halloween party he showed up in his Minnie costume and some of the boys started asking him who he was, he said Minnie Mouse. The boys said, “But Minnie Mouse is a girl.” I also had a little girl dress up as Batman, she kept having to tell the boys that she was Batman and not Batgirl I made the class proceed into a discussion that anyone can be however they want to be. I told them it was okay for a boy to dress up like a girl and for a girl to dress up as a boy if they wanted to. I made sure they all understood and from then on, there was no more conversation about it for the rest of the day. I was so proud of them. I think that just as in this situation talking children through what is okay and what is not is the way to proceed as an educator.

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I do not see a lot of bullying among my students as school. In my classroom my students know that it is not acceptable and even in the hallways I dont see much.   What little I see is often considered banter among friends.  Not condoning it at all.  I can see the connection that bullying from peers could push students toward violent acts.

I dont hear it so much anymore but a common saying I used to hear was "fag or faggy." It was used as a replacement for dumb or lame or weird. It didn't mean much to those saying it but I'm sure it had impacts on certain students hearing or receiving the comment. As educators we need to be aware of what is being said in our classes and ready to react when something is said. We also need to know our students to know whether or not to address it openly in class or outside of class in a 1on1 situation.

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1.  I do not know if the stereotype of masculinity is still being enforced in public schools.  I do think  that bullying, mental illness, peer rejection, and isolation can influence a child to commit evil acts. Having no supports is not fun it is scary.  Often these kids have faced chronic bullying without any reprisal given by teachers to the bullies and without any repercussion for the students who hurt them.
Bullies that create these mass murderers are allowed to psychologically torture their victims with
impunity.  But even in this maelstrom of desperation and anger the child  has a choice. There is always a choice. I do not agree with the authors explanations of school shootings.

2.) They use the f word alot and say deragatory names for the LGBT community still.  Fostering an alternate model of masculinity might help.
Create repercussions for students who continue to use offensive language.

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Chapter 6:  I am not insane; I am angry.

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Chapter 6:  I am not insane; I am angry.

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This chapter looks at the causes of school violence. While every single type of school violence has decreased significantly since the 1980's, the random act of school-shootings continues. This chapter takes a look the causes of school-shootings. The first step is recognizing that almost all of the school-shootings were committed by white, middle class, suburban boys, in traditionally conservative states. The chapter does recognize that most of these white, middle class, suburban boys who commit these acts of violence do have some sort of mental illness or mental health disorder, to blame their actions on their mental health is irresponsible. The commonality between almost all of them that is much more telling is that they all struggled fitting in to the traditional masculine view of males in their communities and in our suburban, middle class, conservative society in general. This really does deserve a large quote as it can't be said better than the author says it:
"All had stories of being constantly bullied, beaten up, and most significantly for this analysis, "gay baited."  All had stories of being mercilessly and constantly teased, picked on, and threatened.  And, most strikingly, it was not because they were gay (none of them was gay as far as we can tell), but because they were different from the other boys - shy, bookish, an honor student, a 'geek', or a 'nerd.'
It is clear that these violent offenders' stories are stories of not fitting into the traditional masculine mold of a man.  The focus of the chapter is then on how the schools, community, and our society treat boys who don't fit into that typical mold.

The collective homophobia of the white, suburban, conservative community  (yes the authors are generalizing a bit) is really less about being afraid of gay men and more about being afraid of being perceived as less of a man.  The word "gay" and "faggot" are often associated with a negative or with a loss of masculinity.

The perpetrators of the school shootings were all picked on mercilessly for their gender non-conformity and experienced the homophobia mentioned above.  The bullying of boys who don't fit the masculinity mold our society creates creates that perfect storm of school shootings.  The question is, why do some of these boys turn to school shootings while hundreds, if not thousands, are bullied daily in the same way but do not pick up a gun?

The authors recognize the importance of a "charismatic adult" who makes a difference for the boys; the importance of a female friend who maybe isn't a girlfriend, but gives the boys an opportunity to feel valued by the opposite gender; and lastly recognize the values of the local community and the local school in helping these boys feel valued and not pick up a gun.

Activity - Consider our society's expectations of boys, what is considered "manly," and your own upbringing either as a boy or observing boys around you.  Answer the two questions below:

1. Do you agree that the bullying of boys who are not conforming to "masculine manliness" is rampant in our schools and do you agree with the connection between bullying and victims become violent offenders?

2.  What are some sayings you've heard commonly used in our society that could make a boy who doesn't conform to the "manly man" gender role uncomfortable or even unwanted?  Once you have listed your sayings, propose an idea for what we as educators can do in order to promote a more accepting environment for our students?

My example is: "That's so gay." I hear this from my 7th graders all the time to explain just about any negative situation. As an educator, I stop what we're doing and have an immediate conversation about how associated being gay with something negative immediately puts down anyone in the room who is gay, has a gay family member, or just simply values gay men as people. It makes being gay, being bad, and in an accepting and equitable society, that is not acceptable.