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Privacy Notice

This privacy notice discloses the privacy practices for www.mhanj.org. This privacy notice applies solely to information collected by this website and our Facebook page and notifies you of the following:

What personally identifiable information is collected from you through the website, how it is used and with whom it may be shared.

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Information Collection, Use and Sharing

We are the sole owners of the information collected on these sites. We only have access to/collect information that you voluntarily give us via email or other direct contact from you. We will not sell or rent this information to anyone.
We will use your information to respond to you, regarding the reason you contacted us. We will not share your information with any third party outside of our organization, other than as necessary to fulfill your request, e.g. for additional information or registering for an MHANJ educational seminar or event.

Unless you ask us not to, we may contact you via email in the future to share our regular newsletters or to tell you about events and educational opportunities, or changes to this privacy policy.

Your Access to and Control Over Information

You may opt out of any future contacts from us at any time. You can do the following at any time by contacting us via the email address or phone number given on our website:

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Express any concern you have about our use of your data

Security

We take precautions to protect your information. When you submit information via the website, your information is protected both online and offline.

Only employees who need the information to perform a specific job are granted access to your contact information. The computers/servers in which we store personally identifiable information are kept in a secure environment.

If you feel that we are not abiding by this privacy policy, you should contact us immediately via telephone at 973-571-4100 or via email at info@mhanj.org.

673 Morris Avenue, Suite 100
Springfield NJ 07081
(973) 571-4100
e-mail: info@mhanj.org · website: www.mhanj.org

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This privacy notice discloses the privacy practices for www.mhanj.org. This privacy notice applies solely to information collected by this website and our Facebook page and notifies you of the following: What personally identifiable information is collected from you through the website, how it is used and with whom it may be shared.

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Calming and Breathing Activities App for Little Ones

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Calming and Breathing Activities App for Little Ones

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Laugh and learn as you help a Sesame Street monster friend calm down and solve everyday challenges. This bilingual (English and Spanish), research-based app helps your child learn Sesame's "Breathe, Think, Do" strategy for problem-solving. Tap and touch to help the monster friend take deep breaths, think of plans, and try them out! Your child will enjoy silly animations and playful interactions as she is exposed to important emotional vocabulary, a calm breathing technique, personalized encouragements, and more!

Features:
* Explore five interactive activities with a unique, everyday challenge
* Tap, pop bubbles, and more to help the monster breathe, think, and do to solve problems and feel better
* Personalize encouraging phrases that your child will hear as they help the monster think of a plan*
* "Breathe with the Monster" activity to help children practice taking deep breaths to calm down
* Robust Parent Section with great resources for navigating everyday challenges with your young child

*We're sorry, but if you're using any device without a built in microphone, this feature will not be supported.

Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame is intended for parents and caregivers to use with their young children (ages 2-5).

PLEASE NOTE: Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame is a very robust app and requires a strong wifi connection to ensure a complete download process.
* If you're having download issues, please ensure you have a strong wifi connection and try rebooting your device. If the download does not resume, delete the app or end the download process and start again.
* If you're having installation issues or the app is stuck on the loading screen, delete the app and reinstall while connected to a strong wifi signal.
* If you continue to have trouble, we encourage you to reach out to us. We want to ensure our tools are working and your family has an opportunity to enjoy Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame.

Curriculum:
This app aims to teach Sesame's "Breathe, Think, Do" strategy for problem-solving. The app is part of Sesame Street's Little Children, Big Challenges initiative, which aims to provide tools to help children build skills for resilience, and overcome everyday challenges and more stressful situations and transitions. You can access other Sesame Street resilience materials online, at sesamestreet.org/challenges

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Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame - Apps on Google Play

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Laugh and learn as you help a Sesame Street monster friend calm down and solve everyday challenges. This bilingual (English and Spanish), research-based app helps your child learn Sesame's "Breathe, Think, Do" strategy for problem-solving. Tap and touch to help the monster friend take deep breaths, think of plans, and try them out!

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National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)

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The resources and guidance listed below, from NASP, the federal government, and other agencies, offer guidance and suggestions for local education agencies and schools planning re-entry following COVID-19 closures.

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The resources and guidance listed below, from NASP, the federal government, and other agencies, offer guidance and suggestions for local education agencies and schools planning re-entry following COVID-19 closures.

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Calm is the #1 app for sleep and meditation. Join the millions experiencing better sleep, lower stress, and less anxiety.

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Taking care of yourself is important so you are equipped to help your family through the COVID-19 pandemic. Here are some tips.

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Unlock hundreds of mood-boosting meditations, relaxing sleep exercises, focus music, and more with our biggest offer of the year.

It's the healthiest, happiest deal you'll find this Black Friday, and it won't last long.

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Meditation and Sleep Made Simple - Headspace

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Live a healthier, happier, more well-rested life in just a few minutes a day with the Headspace app.

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Our evidence-based curriculum builds emotional resilience through mental fitness

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How to Talk to Your Kids About Coronavirus | Parenting Tips & Advice

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With coronavirus being a concern for grown ups, kids might also be worrying. Here's how to talk about COVID-19 with your young children, plus ways to practice healthy habits all year round.

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By Rubina Kapil on March 20, 2020
If you or someone you care about feels overwhelmed with emotions like sadness, depression or anxiety, or like you want to harm yourself or others call 911. You can also contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) Disaster Distress Helpline at 800-985-5990, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text MHFA to 741741 to talk to a Crisis Text Line counselor.
This is a stressful time for many. With the government and media sharing updates throughout the day and the fear of the unknown, it is understandable to feel overwhelmed, stressed and anxious. You are not alone.

Millions of people across the country are facing the same worries and challenges that you are. During this time, it is important to remember that it's OK to not be OK. It's also important to take care of your mental health.

While practicing physical distancing, there are easy self-care strategies that can help reduce feelings of depression and anxiety, or prevent anxiety before it even starts.

Use these tips from the MHFA curriculum to take care of your mental health while practicing physical distancing.

1. Eat healthfully to keep your body in top working order.

2. Exercise reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety, whether we're working out at home or taking a solo jog around the neighborhood.

3. Practice relaxation therapy. Focusing on tensing and relaxing muscle groups can help you relax voluntarily when feeling overwhelmed, stressed or anxious.

4. Let light in. For some people, increased exposure to light can improve symptoms of depression. If you can, open the shades and let more sunlight in.

5. Be kind to yourself! Treat yourself with the same compassion you would a friend.

6. Stay connected. Even if you can't get together face-to-face, you can stay connected to friends, family and neighbors with phone calls, text messages, video chats and social media. If you're feeling lonely, sad or anxious, reach out to your social support networks. Share what you are feeling and offer to listen to friends or family members about their feelings. We are all experiencing this scary and uncertain time together.

7. Monitor media consumption. While you might want to stay up-to the minute with COVID-19 news, too much exposure can be overwhelming. Balance media consumption with other activities you enjoy, such as reading, cooking or listening to music.

Self-care doesn't require you to go outside or spend a lot of money. Adding small changes to your routine can make a big difference to your overall mood and well-being.

Thank you for choosing to #BeTheDifference and remember to practice self-care with Mental Health First Aid.

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How to Care for Yourself While Practicing Physical Distancing

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If you or someone you care about feels overwhelmed with emotions like sadness, depression or anxiety, or like you want to harm yourself or others call 911. You can also contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA)

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The National Child Traumatic Stress Network

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Offers ways to support children and talk to them about COVID-19. This fact sheet describes how to start a conversation with children about COVID-19, correct inaccurate information, encourage children to ask questions and how to answer them, help children self-regulate, and outlines common reactions, how to stay connected, practice self-care, and what to do if you need extra help.

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Supporting Children During Coronavirus (COVID19)

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Offers ways to support children and talk to them about COVID-19. This fact sheet describes how to start a conversation with children about COVID-19, correct inaccurate information, encourage children to ask questions and how to answer them, help children self-regulate, and outlines common reactions, how to stay connected, practice self-care, and what to do if you need extra help.

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is dedicated to transforming the lives of children and families struggling with mental health and learning disorders. This website has many resources for parents and educators on a variety of topics including coping with Covid-19

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Child Mind Institute | Transforming Children’s Lives.

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The Child Mind Institute is an independent nonprofit dedicated to transforming the lives of children struggling with mental health and learning disorders.

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Simple, easy-to-understand whiteboard animation to help early Elementary-aged children gain an understanding of the way their brains work to recognize and manage their emotions.  This is a great beginning resource to help children, parents, educators, work with children to encourage mindfulness, empathy, and emotional regulation.

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For children under three years, it's best to answer their questions simply in language they understand. If children ask about people wearing masks or other face coverings, parents can explain:

Sometimes people wear masks when they are sick or to help keep them safe so they won't get sick.

Sometimes children might ask follow-up questions like the ones below. At this age, it's important to answer only the questions they ask. Avoid sharing additional information (about germs, what is contagious, etc.) that they can't understand because of their age. Some common follow-up questions might be:

Is the mask a costume? (No, sometimes people wear masks when they are sick or to help keep them safe so they won't get sick.)

Can the person still talk? (Yes. The mask covers their mouth, but they can still talk. Just like if I put my hand over my mouth, I can still talk. [demonstrate])

Are they scary or a "bad" person? (No. The mask covers up part of their face, but that doesn't mean they are scary or bad. They are wearing a mask because they are sick or to keep other people from getting sick. That's all.)

Will I get sick? (Everybody gets sick sometimes. If you get sick, Mama/Dada will take care of you until you are all better. The doctors will help you, too.)

If you live in a community where many people are wearing masks, your child may want to "pretend play" wearing a mask. This is very typical for toddlers! Pretend play is one way that children make sense of their world, by "trying on" the roles and people they see in the world around them. As a parent, you can decide how comfortable you are with this play theme. You might also suggest pretend play around medical roles (doctor/nurse with a teddy bear) to focus on how people take care of others when they are sick.

During stressful times, what children need most is you-a safe, secure relationship where they can express their feelings and questions. Here are some tips:

Keep daily routines (naptime, bedtime) as consistent as possible for your child.

Limit your child's exposure to media reports about COVID-19. Remember, your child is soaking in the tension you're feeling as you watch the news.

Discuss your own questions/worries about COVID-19 when your child is out of earshot.

Practice good hygiene to limit exposure to COVID-19. The Centers for Disease Control/Healthy Children has helpful resources on this topic.

Looking for more information? Visit zerotothree.org/coronavirus for our latest resources and updates for families.

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Why are people wearing masks? Why are people covering their faces?

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For children under three years, it's best to answer their questions simply in language they understand. If children ask about people wearing masks or other face coverings, parents can explain: Sometimes people wear masks when they are sick or to help keep them safe so they won't get sick.

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The National Child Traumatic Stress Network

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Offers providers a list of ideas for self-care strategies to use after a difficult event. This checklist outlines the three basics aspects of self-care including awareness, balance, and connection.

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Offers providers a list of ideas for self-care strategies to use after a difficult event. This checklist outlines the three basics aspects of self-care including awareness, balance, and connection.

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The National Child Traumatic Stress Network

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Provides information for parents and caregivers about infectious disease outbreaks in your community. Knowing important information about the outbreak and learning how to be prepared can reduce stress and help calm likely anxieties. This resource will help parents and caregivers think about how an infectious disease outbreak might affect their family- both physically and emotionally-and what they can do to help their family cope. This is the Chinese version 家長/照顧者協助家庭因應新冠病毒/武漢肺炎疫情(COVID-19)指南

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Parent/Caregiver Guide to Helping Families Cope With the Coronavirus Disease 2019 (in Chinese)

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Provides information for parents and caregivers about infectious disease outbreaks in your community. Knowing important information about the outbreak and learning how to be prepared can reduce stress and help calm likely anxieties. This resource will help parents and caregivers think about how an infectious disease outbreak might affect their family- both physically and emotionally-and what they can do to help their family cope.

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5 ways to help keep children learning during the COVID-19 pandemic

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UNICEF Global Chief of Education’s tips to help keep your child learning at home

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The National Child Traumatic Stress Network

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Addresses the complex impact of secondary traumatic stress, vicarious trauma, compassion fatigue, and burnout. This webinar series offers prevention and intervention strategies for various levels within an organization and is intended for frontline workers, administrators, disaster response workers, mental health providers, child welfare workers, supervisors, teachers, and a general audience.

Learning Center Instructions

To view on the Learning Center:

Click on the link above.

Select "Login to this site" if you already have a Learning Center account.

OR Select "create a new account" if you need to register.

Once you have registered and logged in, you will be able to view the course.

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Addresses the complex impact of secondary traumatic stress, vicarious trauma, compassion fatigue, and burnout. This webinar series offers prevention and intervention strategies for various levels within an organization and is intended for frontline workers, administrators, disaster response workers, mental health providers, child welfare workers, supervisors, teachers, and a general audience.

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This app provides teens with a tool that guides them through creating a support plan with ready resources including: Key peoples' contact information, personalized coping strategies, resources and hot lines.

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Suicide Prevention App for Android and iPhone - MY3

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Create your support system.

Add the contact information of the 3 people you feel you would like to talk to when you are having thoughts of suicide.

Build your safety plan.

Customize your safety plan by identifying your personal warning signs, coping strategies, distractions and personal networks. This safety plan will be with you at all times and can help you stay safe when you start thinking about suicide. Learn more about safety planning.

Access Important Resources.

Hold all your resources in the palm of your hand. Whether you're a veteran, want support from your local community, or want to learn more about suicide prevention, pick the resources that best support you.

Get support at times of greatest risk.

When you're having thoughts of suicide and it feels like there's no hope in sight, find support at your fingertips at any time of the day.

Access the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7.

A trained counselor from a crisis center near you can be reached 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Anyone can call, whether you're concerned for yourself or someone else. If you need someone to talk to, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is always ready for the call.

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MY3 FEATURES - Suicide Prevention App for Android and iPhone - MY3

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MY3 FEATURES Create your support system. Add the contact information of the 3 people you feel you would like to talk to when you are having thoughts of suicide. Build your safety plan. Customize your safety plan by identifying your personal warning signs, coping strategies, distractions and personal networks.

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With the national emergency of the coronavirus pandemic, college students' lives have been upended as they have been asked to leave campus and adjust to new living situations.

As the director of psychological services in McLean's College Mental Health Program (CMHP), Caitlin Nevins, PhD, and the CMHP team work with young adults to balance mental health with the demands of a college environment. Nevins and her colleagues help their patients adjust to complicated schedules, manage highly competitive environments, and navigate new social situations.

Nevins offered these tips for college students and their families to help them cope.

Validate the Experience

It's important to remember that this isn't a vacation from school or a way to get out of classes. This is a sudden change, and a loss-of community, graduation ceremonies, living environments, sporting events, etc. "While we encourage students to practice gratitude and to continue on, this situation is still a disruption," said Nevins.

During this time, students can practice self-compassion for what they're going through. Families can validate students' feelings and keep the lines of communication open about what's challenging and difficult about this change.

Maintain Structure as Much as Possible

In addition to switching from in-person classes to online learning, students have lost much of their routine. Because of this, it's important to maintain a foundation of the coping skills.

If you or a loved one needs help managing their mental health, don't wait to seek support

Good sleep hygiene, nutrition, self-care, and activities outside of screen time are all part of this foundation. It's essential to retain these practices as much as possible, particularly if students' options are more limited in terms of what they can do and where they can go.

Make It Easy to Reach Out for Support

It's important for students to be able to communicate if they don't feel like themselves. Even if in-person supports may not be as readily available right now, many clinicians are able to provide assistance over the phone and through telehealth. "Students should have a low threshold for reaching out and exploring what resources their school can offer remotely," Nevins suggested. "Living at home may not be ideal, or even feasible, for all students. Now is an important time to access supports."

Be Mindful of Exposure to the News

It's important to stay informed, but it's also important to know when you need a pause from stressful news. Take a break to watch a movie, read, or joke with friends. Such practices will build resiliency for the stressful news that's arriving with increasing frequency.

Students should be aware of how the news is making them feel and how much media they can consume. It can be helpful to step back and practice extra self-care at this time.

If anyone can do this, college students can: they're probably the best generation to understand how to stay connected and be resilient in times like this.

Stay Connected

This is an isolating experience for students as a whole. Consider moving beyond texting or social media to more interpersonal communications, such as phone or video calls with friends. Make plans to watch shows remotely together or participate in other digital forms of dorm activities. This is a time to get creative about maintaining vital social connections.

As Nevins said, "If anyone can do this, college students can: they're probably the best generation to understand how to stay connected and be resilient in times like this."
McLean's College Mental Health Program (CMHP) helps college students with mental illnesses and adjustment issues live more productive lives to ensure the greatest probability of academic and personal success. For more information, visit the CMHP webpage.

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Tips to Help College Students During the COVID-19 Pandemic

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With the national emergency of the coronavirus pandemic, college students' lives have been upended as they have been asked to leave campus and adjust to new living situations. As the director of psychological services in McLean's College Mental Health Program (CMHP), Caitlin Nevins, PhD, and the CMHP team work with young adults to balance mental health with the demands of a college environment.

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When kids repeatedly act out in class, it's disruptive and frustrating. When we look beneath the surface, however, we often find that frequent outbursts are a symptom of bigger issues, especially for children who have experienced trauma.

Usually, it's a response to unmet needs or coping mechanisms children have developed to protect themselves. Kids living in chaos, neglect, or abuse are often stressed to the max. And if there's one thing that's certain, it's that stressed brains have difficulty learning .

The good news is that teachers can have a positive impact by choosing our responses when disruptions happen. Here are seven resilience-focused, trauma-informed classroom strategies to help you handle classroom disruptions. They'll work with all of your students-not only the children who have experienced trauma.

Here's a video to give some ideas. Then keep reading for even more.

[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUjQAAQPWM0[/embedyt]

Instead of saying, "This kid is trouble."

Ask yourself, "What's going on with this child?"

Obviously, this isn't something most teachers would say out loud, but it may be part of an inner dialogue that needs to be challenged. All behavior serves a purpose, even when it doesn't make sense to us. And once we understand that, and are able to see the as separate from their , we can experience a huge shift in perspective.

Instead of assuming a child's behavior is intentional or labeling their behavior, get curious. What is happening in this child's life? How does that impact the way they behave? How can we provide opportunities that support and nurture their growth?

According to Dr. Caelan Soma, chief clinical officer with Starr Commonwealth, an organization that provides training and resources to professionals who work with traumatized children, 'badness' is not a normal condition for children. It is the result of misdirected energy and unmet needs. "Every child will be good," Soma says, "if given an opportunity in an environment of love and activity."

Instead of saying, "You're disrupting my lesson!"

Ask, "Is everything okay?"

Resilience is nurtured and restored best in the context of caring, supportive relationships in a trauma-informed classroom. Students who feel seen and heard, and most importantly valued, feel a greater sense of belonging and are more likely to respond to guidance from a teacher. So when a child is being disruptive, let them know that you care about them and want to help them find a solution. Gently ask them what's really going on. Listen with empathy and help them sort out what it might take to get back on task.

Instead of saying, "Why aren't you following directions?"

Ask, "How can I help you?"

Sometimes disruptions occur in the classroom when a student feels stuck and needs a different way to proceed, but doesn't know how to ask for help. Be open to adapting lessons and circumstances to meet students' needs. If a child is acting up because they're having trouble with a classroom assignment, perhaps they need clarification on a key concept. Maybe they need the work to be broken down into smaller, more manageable pieces. Or maybe they need to work with a partner or small group. One of the most important elements of a trauma-informed classroom is to provide opportunities for students to feel successful. Success strengthens the desire to achieve.

Instead of saying, "What do you think you're doing?"

Ask, "What do you need right now?"

While it is important to provide a supportive environment, one thing to avoid is being overly involved in solving students' problems for them. Trauma-informed teaching is designed to foster independence, build respect, and teach inner discipline. So our role as teachers is to give students choices and options, then let them decide what works best, without coercion. For example, if a child causes a disruption that impacts others, we need to encourage them to show personal responsibility for making things right, whether that's a note of apology or fixing something that is broken.

Instead of saying, "You're interfering with others' learning."

Ask, "Can you take a body scan?"

Emotional awareness is a learned skill. Children, especially children of trauma, often have trouble regulating their emotions (and therefore their bodies) because they haven't yet learned to identify the sensations they feel inside. Teach students to pay attention to the messages their bodies are sending them. (How do I feel this very moment? Am I tense? Do I feel hot? Does my belly hurt?) Help them name the emotion that matches these messages. As they learn to differentiate between emotions, they can learn strategies to deal with them constructively. Teaching students emotional awareness and giving them the chance to practice regulation helps them make better choices.

Instead of saying, "Focus. Get to work."

Ask, "Would a movement break help?"

Stressful emotions live in the body. Sometimes, when students engage in disruptive behavior, they need physical activity to help them cope with overwhelming feelings. This is especially true for students who have experienced trauma. Oftentimes their bodies remember things they do not consciously recall. Mind-body skills, such as deep breathing and yoga, and frequent movement breaks help students release pent up energy and get back on track.

Instead of saying, "One more outburst and you're out of here."

Say, "Would you like to take a break in the calm corner?"

When a student gets worked up to the point of throwing your whole class off track, they need a safe space to calm down and reset their behavior. Designate an area of your classroom as a calm corner, peace place, or reset space and stock it with comforting amenities such as stuffed animals, cozy pillows, headphones, fidget toys, drawing materials, or other calming activities.

Teach all of your students how to use this reset space before they need it . When a student becomes overloaded, ask them if some time in the reset space would help. Always present it as a choice, never a demand. This space is not intended as a punishment, rather it should be a strategy to help students hit the reset button.

Create a trauma-informed classroom.

It's a sad fact that sometimes our students come to us carrying a heavy burden. While there's not much we can do about what happens outside of school, we have unlimited power to create a trauma-informed classroom that's safe and supportive. Building solid relationships, concentrating on children's strengths, and using strategies that preserve students' dignity are the key to restoring hope and helping kids succeed.

Learn how to create a trauma-informed classroom where all students thrive. Check out Trauma-Informed Resilient Schools, one of Starr Commonwealth's online professional development courses for teachers.
Yes! I Want to Create a Trauma-Informed Classroom

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When Students Act Out, Ask This Instead of "Why Did You Do That?"

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When kids repeatedly act out in class, it's disruptive and frustrating. When we look beneath the surface, however, we often find that frequent outbursts are a symptom of bigger issues, especially for children who have experienced trauma. Usually, it's a response to unmet needs or coping mechanisms children have developed to protect themselves.

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CITE THIS

American Psychological Association. (2019, August 27). Talking with your children about stress. http://www.apa.org/topics/talking-stress

According to APA's annual Stress in America survey, many Americans-both adults and youth-report experiencing significant stress. While some stress is part of everyday life and sometimes helps motivate us to take action, adults can more readily identify feelings and causes of significant stress, and consider ways to manage it.

Young people, however, may not recognize signs of stress or know how to respond and cope effectively. Parents can offer valuable assistance and provide empathy and understanding. By knowing what to listen to and watch for and by seeking out opportunities to engage in conversation with children of all ages, parents can help their children to better handle life challenges.

APA offers these tips on talking with your children about stress:

Be available

Notice times when your kids are most likely to talk-for example, at bedtime, before dinner, in the car-and be fully available to just listen.

Start the conversation; it lets your kids know you care about what's happening in their lives. Find time each week for a one-on-one activity with each child, and avoid scheduling other activities during that time.

Learn about your children's interests-for example, favorite music and activities-and show interest in them.

Initiate conversations by sharing what you have been thinking about, or what other kids may be thinking about, rather than beginning a conversation with a question.

Listen actively

When your children are talking about concerns, stop whatever you are doing and listen.

Express interest in what they are saying without being intrusive.

Listen to their point of view, even if it's difficult to hear.

Let them complete their point before you respond.

Repeat what you heard them say to ensure that you understand them correctly.

Realize that your children may test you by telling you a small part of what is bothering them. Listen carefully to what they say, encourage them to talk, and they may share the rest of the story, especially if you are empathic and avoid teaching early in the discussion.

Respond thoughtfully

Soften strong reactions-kids will tune you out if you appear angry, defensive or judgmental.

Express your opinion without minimizing theirs-acknowledge that it's healthy to disagree sometimes.

Resist arguing about who is right. Instead say, "I know you disagree with me, but this is what I think."

Focus on your child's feelings rather than your own during your conversation.

Ask your children what they may want or need from you in a conversation, such as advice, help in dealing with feelings, or assistance in solving a problem.

Consider

Kids learn by watching their parents. Most often, they will follow your lead in how they deal with anger, solve problems, and work through difficult feelings. Help your kids adopt healthy coping strategies by modeling positive behaviors.

Engage the family in stress-reducing activities, such as taking a family walk, riding bikes, or dancing together.

Young children may express feelings of stress or worry in their play. Pay attention to themes in their conversations and activities to gain a good sense of their concerns. Teens and older children are often more involved with peers than family as part of developing their own identity. Significant avoidance of parents, however, may be a sign that a teen is distressed and may need assistance.

Kids learn from their own choices. As long as the consequences are not dangerous to themselves or others, don't feel you have to step in each time.

Shielding children from serious causes of stress or anxiety, such as unemployment, a parent's marital problems, or an illness in the family, can worsen a child's anxiety because children commonly assume a worst-case scenario. Help by providing age-appropriate information.

Seek additional help

If you have concerns that your child is experiencing considerable stress and the tips are not sufficient, seek advice from a licensed mental health professional such as a psychologist. Psychologists have specific training that can help both you and your child successfully manage overwhelming stress.

This tip sheet was made possible with help from APA members Mary Alvord, PhD, and David J. Palmiter, Jr., PhD, ABPP.

The full text of articles from APA Help Center may be reproduced and distributed for noncommercial purposes with credit given to the American Psychological Association. Any electronic reproductions must link to the original article on the APA Help Center. Any exceptions to this, including excerpting, paraphrasing or reproduction in a commercial work, must be presented in writing to the APA. Images from the APA Help Center may not be reproduced.

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CITE THIS American Psychological Association. (2019, August 27). Talking with your children about stress. http://www.apa.org/topics/talking-stress According to APA's annual Stress in America survey, many Americans-both adults and youth-report experiencing significant stress. While some stress is part of everyday life and sometimes helps motivate us to take action, adults can more readily identify feelings and causes of significant stress, and consider ways to manage it.

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Are you exhausted by the explosive behaviors of the children you love? First, I want to say I am so proud of you. I know the fatigue and frustration that comes with parenting a child who feels out of control. The fact that you are reading this article means you are looking for support and guidance, and that means you are on your way to helping the children in your life. And believe me, you are probably already doing a better job than you think! Kids need you to show up more than anything! .

As parents, grandparents, and caregivers we need skills. We need to keep trying something, anything, until we find what calms an explosive child. Do not give up. We are going to dive into some skills you can implement the next time your child loses control of their emotions. It starts with emotional regulation for both the caregiver and the child. When a parent is attuned to the child and regulated within their body, they can help the child cope with stress through co-regulation. Co-regulation is how children learn in tandem with a safe and nurturing adult to manage their big emotions. If a child was impacted by abuse and neglect, he or she may not have a working model in their mind for how to self-soothe and regulate their emotions. This is where you come in.

As the adult it is your job to provide a stable and loving environment for the child balanced out with firm and positive discipline. This can be very difficult to maintain if you are also coping with your own trauma, exhaustion, or other mental health issues. This is why it is so imperative that caregivers and teachers take care of their emotional well-being. Nobody can pour from an empty cup. Self-care is a buzz word during this pandemic, but what it really means is that we must practice the skills to regulate our own emotions in order to raise or work with children impacted by trauma and loss effectively.

When a child is in a state of rage, it can help to remember that children never choose a meltdown, the same way we wouldn't want to have a fit in front of our boss or parents. Explosive behaviors of a child can trigger the parents fear center in their brain and we often react with frustration instead of responding with care. Often when we are afraid, we express anger. When two people are in a state of fear and anger, it is impossible to learn and connect. The need for connection and trust lives at the core of our being. It is what we all need, even though we may be afraid.

Helping a child with explosive behaviors doesn't involve fear or shame-inducing punishments and discipline because that will only trigger additional outbursts. Explosive reactions are a signal that the child's brain is "offline." In this state, children cannot hear you and make meaning of the lesson you are trying to teach about right and wrong. This may sound absurd to you. You may believe children need to learn their lesson in the moment or else they will become unruly, troublesome adults. I know this feeling all too well. It's the way we were raised in a culture that used rewards and consequences as means to gain compliance in groups of children.

With the new research on how to help children cope after trauma, many caregivers feel stuck and don't know what to do. Most people prior to this generation were raised with rewards and consequences, but today, this isn't working for the many children impacted by trauma and adverse childhood experiences (ACES). We have to do something different, and change is HARD. Our brain relies on past experiences to save energy and make automated decisions, especially when under stress. The research shows that punishments and rewards are useless for about 50% of children today.

But there is hope! It takes a paradigm shift from rewards and consequences to understanding the physiology of anxiety and trauma in the body. To help children with extreme behaviors reclaim their calm, I came up with a step-by-step approach!

FROM CHAOS TO CALM IN SEVEN STEPS

With these steps, you still keep your boundaries and firmly say NO without losing your chill.

We may never handle each explosion perfectly, but if we can increase the number of times we do get it right, there can be a significant shift in your family or classroom's emotional climate.

To learn more about increasing the emotional health of children and families, please join my Facebook group, Emotiminds . It is a virtual classroom for emotional enrichment activities and support. We would love to have your perspective and learn together.

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Are you exhausted by the explosive behaviors of the children you love? First, I want to say I am so proud of you. I know the fatigue and frustration that comes with parenting a child who feels out of control.

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Inner Harbor | Mental Health Resources for Young Adults

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Inner Harbor provides training, resources, and consultations to universities, peers, students, and teachers to help them be better allies and supporters to young adults who may be experiencing depression or going through the grieving process. Our mission is to improve the mental health of all young