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Trust versus Mistrust is one of the first conflicts of a persons life, and helps shape how someone will see the world. Trust versus Mistrust happens in infancy, when a baby learns whether the world is a kind place and that they can rely on others, or that the world is cruel and they cannot rely on others. "People need to trust the world and the people in it, but they also need to learn some mistrust to protect themselves from danger" (Martorell, 2022). According to my mom, she was always very attached to me and concerned about me. Whenever I got sick or hurt, she would be very affectionate with me. This lead to me developing trust, as I learned that my mom would always be there to comfort me.

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Stage 2: Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt

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Stage 2: Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt

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Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt is the toddler-years that parents call the "terrible twos" at this time, children are balancing their growing sense of autonomy and their reliance on their parents. This leads to defiance, pushing boundaries, and questioning authority. "If you feel that others have your back, you are likely to try new things and thus develop new skills. By contrast, if you feel alone and uncertain, you can still develop autonomy, but it is more difficult" (Martorell, 2022). My mom always says that she had to pick her battles when I was a toddler. She wouldn't fight me for long if I didn't want to eat something, she only made me lay in bed at night but didn't force me to close my eyes or sleep, and let me pick out clothes when I was at the older side of this age group. Thus, I developed autonomy as my mom encouraged me to make more independent choices.

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In Initiative versus Guilt, the preschooler is battling between their desire to do more and the realization that not everything they do will be socially accepted. "This conflict marks a split between two parts of the personality: The part that remains  a child, full of exuberance and a desire to test new powers, and the part that is becoming an adult, constantly examining the propriety of motives and actions" (Martorell, 2022). During these years were when my two brothers were born, and that added an extra layer to the Initiative versus Guilt dilemma. As the big sister, I was often taught to "be the bigger person" in conflicts with them. I was expected to be better behaved and got in trouble for getting into things, fighting, and not sharing. In kindergarten, I was afraid to get in trouble and only moved my mark down once (which ended up with me crying so hard that my teacher called home). Thus, at this age, I developed guilt- I was taught to worry more about other people than my own desires.

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In Industry versus Inferiority, children develop self-esteem. They balance learning skills to benefit society versus feeling unimportant and inferior. "A major determinant of self-esteem is children's view of their capacity for productive work" (Martorell, 2022). One major memory I have with this was the struggle I had in math during fifth grade. I was constantly failing tests, never did the homework, and remember my dad yelling at me while I cried because I couldn't understand the math. I also remember crying because my teacher called on me to answer a question in class from a test I had failed almost every question on. I believe that I started off this stage in Industry, as I was always either on track or advanced in school, and then started to develop more inferiority. Then, after a few years, after I started to develop my skills and become more confident in my abilities again, I formed industry.

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Stage 5: Identity versus Identity Confusion

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Stage 5: Identity versus Identity Confusion

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Identity versus Identity Confusion makes up a great deal of conflict in the teenage years. Teenagers are trying to find themselves, their hobbies, their roles, and how they fit into society. "The effort to make sense of the self is part of a healthy process that builds on the achievements of earlier stages- trust, autonomy, initiative, and industry- and lays the groundwork for coping with the challenges of adult life" (Martorell, 2022). I developed identity very quickly. I discovered my sexual orientation at a young age, chose my future occupation and interests at a young age, made close friends, and developed a political belief system during my teenage years. The struggle that I had during this time was the guilt that I learned in Initiative versus Guilt. I tended to copy what my friends liked because they liked it and formed my personality based off of theirs. When I lost this friend group, I was able to develop Identity.

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In Intimacy versus Isolation, the young adult is learning that they need make intimate connections with people (romantic or platonic) or they will be alone. "Person seeks to make commitments to others or may suffer from isolation and self-absorption" (Martorell, 2022). This is the stage of development that I am currently in. Although I do not spend time in person with my friends ever, I have a close group of friends online that I speak to daily. I am also clingy and don't go more than a few hours without talking to my friends. I am very introverted and a home body, but I still have deep connections (some of whom I've known since middle school). Because of this, I will probably develop intimacy.

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This stage, Generativity versus Stagnation, is about impacting the future and making your mark on the world. This is typically done through parenthood or work. Either an individual finds a way to contribute to the future, or they become disconnected and egocentric. "Mature adult is concerned with establishing and guiding the next generation or else feels personal impoverishment" (Martorell, 2022). Because I am going to be a teacher, I believe that I will develop generativity as I'll be sure that I am impacting the future generation.

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Integrity versus Despair happens at the end of a persons life and determines whether they've accepted death by accepting what their life has been and coming to terms with it or are in despair over dying because they feel like they haven't done enough. "Elderly person achieves acceptance of own life, allowing for acceptance of death, or else despairs over inability to relive life" (Martorell, 2022). Honestly, I don't even want to be old so I am definitely going to be ready to go. Because I will probably develop Generativity from Stage 7, I do not think that I'll feel like my life was unfulfilled. Put me in the coffin, I'm dying with developed integrity.