# data[].attributes.body
Look at this happy trouple. At a glance, this looks like a healthy example of a functional polyamorous relationship.

# data[].attributes.body
Just like most sexualities or genders, poly relationships have sub-categories. This chart illustrates the numerous types of relationships that fall under the poly tree.

# data[].attributes.headline
Poly relationships can be more than just 3 people!

# data[].attributes.subject
Poly relationships can be more than just 3 people!

# data[].attributes.body
Sometimes when an established poly relationship meets another person they all like and that person likes the idea of joining, a poly relationship may "recruit" another person

# data[].attributes.body
Many within the poly community believe that a consensual non-monogamous relationship gives those within the relationship the power to conduct their relationship in whatever fashion they desire, breaking the view that monogamy is required for a deep, committed relationship

# data[].attributes.body
As stated in this article, polyamory is the practice of having multiple relationships in which all parties involved consent to the relationships and are all involved.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Many people believe that every person should seek a single soulmate, apart from whom they should need no one else. Many others believe that each person should have only one romantic partner, at least at one time. But others don't think that a single individual can fulfill all of their relationship needs, and therefore they prefer having many partners.

Polyamory, or consensual nonmonogamy, is the practice of having multiple intimate relationships, whether sexual or just romantic, with the full knowledge and consent of all parties involved. Polyamory is generally not gender-specific; anyone can have multiple partners of any gender.

At least one in five Americans has had a consensually nonmonogamous relationship at some point in their lives, and about one in 20 is in one right now. A growing body of research shows that partners in such relationships find their bonds to be just as satisfying and fulfilling as those of married people, and derive just as much happiness from them. But there are serious challenges as well: Polyamorous relationships demand openness, consent, trust, communication skills, clear boundaries, and mutual respect. Feelings of jealousy may arise, especially when a new partner joins the relationship, and debates over how to raise children can also disrupt connections.

What Is Polyamory?

Polyamory is distinct from other forms of open relationships, such as swinging-which involves couples having casual sex outside of the relationship, without any emotional attachment. It is often confused with polygamy, or being married to more than one person at the same time, but they are very different. Polygamy specifically involves marriage to multiple people of the opposite gender - most frequently, a man having multiple wives - while polyamory, although it often involves married partners, describes a wider range of relationships, both heterosexual and LBGT.

Due to the stigma that it often attracts, polyamory is often practiced privately and may be kept secret even from close friends and family. At least one in four polyamorous individuals have experienced discrimination, according to the non-profit organization Loving More.

article continues after advertisement

How Does Polyamory Work?

Some polyamorous people have a primary relationship and engage in casual hookups, but most begin secondary relationships with the consent of their primary partner, to whom they are generally married or committed. Introducing a secondary partner requires the primary couple to agree on a set of stipulations, such as date times and the type of intimacy allowed. Research has found that, despite the complications, polyamory offers benefits ranging from greater satisfaction and extra help with child care to increased relationship commitment.

The Benefits and Struggles of Polyamory

The reason why polyamorous relationships are not as common as others is not that people find them unappealing; interest in polyamory is in fact rising, and research on polyamorous partners finds them to be, on average, as least as satisfied with their relationships as others. But polyamorous relationships are highly challenging to construct and maintain. Simply finding a partner willing to enter a relationship with the same honesty and ground rules is difficult, especially in a culture that favors serial monogamy, and mismatched desire for polyamory also upends many partners, especially if one sees it as a lifestyle while the other perceives it as their sexual orientation. For this reason, communities arise in which those who are "poly" can meet, often initially online.

Why the first year of many polyamorous relationships is challenging and potentially unstable, and how to get through it to longer-term love.

Little is known about the characteristics of polygamous relationships, except for their reports of relative satisfaction, sexual frequency, commitment, communications, and acceptance.

The APA's Committee on Consensual NonMonogamies offers therapists resources to serve CNM clients.

This third blog post in a series explores the third wave of consensual nonmonogamies in the United States, beginning in the 1990s with the advent of Internet communications.

Why the first year of many polyamorous relationships is challenging and potentially unstable, and how to get through it to longer-term love.

Little is known about the characteristics of polygamous relationships, except for their reports of relative satisfaction, sexual frequency, commitment, communications, and acceptance.

The APA's Committee on Consensual NonMonogamies offers therapists resources to serve CNM clients.

This third blog post in a series explores the third wave of consensual nonmonogamies in the United States, beginning in the 1990s with the advent of Internet communications.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Many people believe that every person should seek a single soulmate, apart from whom they should need no one else. Many others believe that each person should have only one romantic partner, at least at one time. But others don't think that a single individual can fulfill all of their relationship needs, and therefore they prefer having many partners.

# data[].attributes.body
A poly relationship isn't for everyone. It has its pros and cons, and most people will prefer a monogamous relationship. But, is it right for you?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
What Is Polyamory?

"Polyamory is the nonpossessive, honest, responsible, and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously," according to the Polyamory Society. "Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time."﻿﻿

To be polyamorous means to have open intimate or romantic relationships with more than one person at a time. People who are polyamorous can be heterosexual, lesbian, gay, or bisexual, and relationships between polyamorous people can include combinations of people of different sexual orientations.

Unlike open relationships, polyamory is characterized by emotional as well as sexual or romantic intimacy between partners. In contrast to infidelity, adultery, or extramarital sex, polyamory is consensual and disclosed to everyone involved.

Sometimes polyamorous relationships are hierarchical (one relationship takes priority over others) and sometimes they are equal. In a hierarchical scenario, a person may have a primary as well as secondary partners:

Primary: A primary partner is at the top of the hierarchical structure; this person may be the person with whom you live, have kids with, or even marry. A primary partner is not necessary for polyamorous relationships.

Secondary: Secondary partner(s) may not be as intertwined in your life as a primary partner; for example, you may not share housing or finances but you may still be fully committed to each other.

The defining aspects of polyamorous relationships over other nonmonogamous relationship types are consent and communication.

What Polyamory Is Not

While the boundaries in polygamous relationships are quite different from those for monogamous relationships, they still exist.

People in polyamorous relationships may or may not be married, although people who identify as polyamorous may reject the restrictions of the social convention of marriage, and particularly, the limitation to one partner.

Nor should it be confused with "swinging" or "spouse swapping" in which couples in established one-on-one relationships have casual sexual encounters with people in other couples.

Polyamory is also not the same as an "open" relationship, which involves a committed couple agreeing that one or both partners are permitted to have sex with other people, without necessarily sharing information on the other partners. However, polyamorous couples may also have open relationships.

"Consensual nonmonogamy" is an umbrella term that psychologists use to describe swinging, open relationships, and polyamory. Research suggests that more than 20% of Americans have participated in a consensual, nonmonogamous relationship at some point in their lives.

Talking About Polyamory

Types of Polyamorous Relationships

Unlike monogamous relationships, which by definition are limited to one partner, polyamory comes in many forms and may change over time based on the individuals involved.

While many polyamorous relationships are characterized by a couple who openly and consensually pursues independent or joint relationships outside of their primary relationship, others practice polyamory by having multiple independent, separate relationships, or even relationships between three or more people.

Also known as a "throuple," a triad refers to a relationship with three people. Not all three people need to date one another, however. One person may be dating two different people.

As the name implies, a quad refers to a relationship with four people. This type of polyamorous relationship often occurs when two polyamorous couples meet and begin dating one person from the other couple. You can also have a full quad, where all four members are romantically or sexually involved with one another.

This term refers to a whole network of people who are romantically connected. For example, it might include you and your primary partner, your primary partner's secondary partner, your primary partner's secondary partner's primary partner, and so on.

Kitchen Table Polyamory

This term refers to a family-like network formed by people who know each other. The name comes from the fact that people in this type of polyamorous relationship gather around the kitchen table for meals.

Parallel Polyamory

Parallel polyamory refers to relationships in which you're aware of each other's other partners but have little no contact with those partners.

Solo Polyamory

Individuals in a solo polyamorous relationship do not intend to merge their identity or life infrastructure with their partners. For example, they don't wish to marry or share a home or finances with any of their partners.

Sex Addiction and Polyamory

Tips for Avoiding Relationship Issues

The need for clear communication and boundaries among all concerned is a key feature of the polyamorous philosophy. The complexity of interrelationships between polyamorous partnerships can leave some individuals vulnerable to exploitation. However, research shows that people in consensual nonmonogamous relationships and those in monogamous ones have similar levels of psychological well-being and relationship quality.﻿﻿

Establish Rules and Boundaries

A big part of polyamory is ensuring that all partners are on the same page when it comes to emotional and physical boundaries, including:

Divulging details about relationships with others

How often to spend time with each other and other people

Sharing your polyamorous status with others

What's OK and not okay as far as sexual acts and safety practices

Support One Another

Just like in a monogamous relationship, it's important to support your partners and show respect and courtesy, even if you don't like your partner's metamour (your partner's partner who's not romantically or sexually involved with you).

Avoid Comparisons

Although it's human nature, do your best to avoid the comparison game. For example, don't go and book an extravagant trip for two just because your partner had a weekend getaway with one of their other partners.

Express Your Feelings and Needs

Jealousy is a common feeling that can come to the surface in a polyamorous relationship. Communicating these feelings, instead of letting them consume you, is key for polyamory.

In fact, a common term used in polyamory is compersion, or the feeling of joy from seeing your partner happy with another partner. This is the opposite of jealousy.

A Word From Verywell

Only you can decide whether polyamory is right for you. Having this type of relationship not only involves challenging the ideal of monogamy but examining what you expect from love and romantic partners. In the end, being honest with yourself and your partner(s) about your feelings is most important for a happy relationship.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
"Polyamory is the nonpossessive, honest, responsible, and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously," according to the Polyamory Society. "Polyamory emphasizes consciously choosing how many partners one wishes to be involved with rather than accepting social norms which dictate loving only one person at a time."﻿﻿ To be polyamorous means to have open intimate or romantic relationships with more than one person at a time.

# data[].attributes.body
A short video to explain polyamorous relationships step by step.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.authors[].name
Amanda Pasciucco, PhD, LMFT, Sex Therapist

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
What is a Poly Relationship? [STEP BY STEP Explanation!]

# data[].attributes.body
This short video describes a few signs that may indicate a poly relationship is more fitting for you.

# data[].attributes.body
A polyamorous relationship may have numerous benefits over a traditional monogamous relationship.

# data[].attributes.body
Many people voiced their opinions on what a poly relationship looks like here.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Explore this post and more from the AskLGBT community