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When I was younger, I used to be obsessed with watching all the Disney princess films. My favorite part was the fairytale wedding endings because it captured the essence of their happiness, finally achieving the goal of marrying their prince charming. From that point, until I reached high school, I was corrupted to think the only way I would reach my happily ever after was when I got married to my own prince charming. Without a prince charming in my life, I would remain unhappy and goalless. I was influenced by the societal gender roles to believe all females should naturally desire a man and marriage. Now, I can’t watch them in a positive light because of the damage they have caused.

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Long Line of Religious Catholic Marriages

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Long Line of Religious Catholic Marriages

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Growing up in a huge religious Mexican catholic family, marriage was only glorified more. Most of my family members were married at a young age because they view marriage as a necessary life transition to start their new beginnings. The youngest was my grandma at age 15. Instead of participating in her quinceanera, she was immediately married off. Even though my grandma doesn't want to recognize she was rushed into womanhood, that’s exactly what happened.

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Once I read Willse & Spade's article in my GWS class, it only made me realize even more how unnecessary marriage is, especially when it’s causing more harm than good. Huge accomplishments like the LGBTQ+ community having the right to get married made people overlook the systemic problems involved with the institution of marriage. The government makes people think marriage is all about love and intimacy when, in reality, it's a tool used to benefit only the white wealthy people. There are deeply racist and colonial structures set in place that continue to affect millions of people of color. Marriage will continue to be exploitative and exclusionary as long as capitalism is thriving. The whole romanticization of marriage only makes the idea of abolishing marriage seem terrifying because it makes it seem like it’s intended to completely abolish love when it’s not. My opinion on marriage has continually changed for the better.

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In the last couple of years, I have not gone to any weddings.

The glorification of marriage is starting to die down, at least in my experience. My younger generation of relatives, like me, have no intention of getting married. We have all realized marriage isn’t as ideal as we once thought it was. We know love exists without the institution of marriage. We have all experienced true intimacy without the need for marriage.

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The marriage rates continue to get lower and lower each year. The rates mostly showed young people of color were deciding not to get married compared to their white counterparts. This makes a lot of sense because our newer generation doesn't suffer the same marital pressure our older generations did. It’s finally our decision whether or not we want to get married. We have the freedom to alter our marriage views like never before. The deeper we dig into researching the marriage institution, the more we find out how bad it actually is. Although we have a long way to go, I’m optimistic one day as a society, we will value more of our freedom and independence over marriage.