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Please wake up soon

https://open.spotify.com/track/4ESVeOSa7asoWhkAg6aTB2?si=25c592247294469f

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I want to see your smile again okay? Please please *hugs

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Siguro yan yung pinakatumatak na nasabi sa akin ni Camille kaya di na ako nagtaka na palagi ko syang nakikita na sumasayaw, nagpipinta, umaarte at kumakanta (tumutugtog ng instrumento). Hindi ko alam na sa likod pala noon ay may mas mabigat syang dinadala patungkol sa health nya. Secretive ka sis huhu pero I am so proud of you at sana marami pa tayong magawang bagay na magkasama. I am happy to have met you and please make more memories with us, your friends. Fight strong!

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hey camille. i know we've like actually never got the chance to hang out, ever, not in masci, and you got sick right after i moved into yung apartment ni benjun nung 2024--and i never got the chance to actually thank you for vouching for me in person (and i never got the nerve to do so in chat out of shyness) and i didnt get the chance to also hang out with you at the apartment :< id always ask benjun how you were doing and i was genuinely really happy to hear you were doing better, and though ive lost track of you for a bit after i moved out , i didnt expect to get news like this, and im actually crying typing this right now. I hope you know ive been rooting for you for over a year now and actually have been lowkey hoping that you would recover quickly because i wanted to get to know you better and make a 'new' friend while i was in elbi too. I'm still hoping for that. ive watched your life on the super sidelines, whenever you just happen to pass by on my feed. i may not know anything about you aside from who you were friends with or the fact that you also like cats--and i hope you know that,, even all the way out here, I think of you with an incredible amount of respect and bravery for facing all you have faced that brought you to where you are today. it is quite an honor to have crossed paths with you, even if it just for a moment given the way life goes. i am glad i have met someone like you in this lifetime, and i hope you'll come back to the waking world soon, i have yet to send you pictures of my cats doing silly things. Please take care, and i hope you get well soon. I believe you can, you've come so far. soot, paint, pluto, sushi, gunther qilin, kestrel and egret (my cats) also send you meows and well wishes.

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Superclassmates tayo half of my uni life. Ikaw din una sa mga makilala ko f2f and ikaw ‘yung tipong laging naka ngiti. You’re very soft spoken din kaya magaan ka kausap. Tagal natin ‘di na nagkasalamuha. Last memory ko ay naglalakad tayo sa Raymundo with Sai tapos pinag-uusapan ata natin Papu’s siomai. Maraming salamat for all those small chika and warm smiles.

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this is someone from streetlight manifesto

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this is someone from streetlight manifesto

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First time I met you: Streetlight Manifesto auditions. Nakalimutan ko na baket malelate si Jules non at ako yung umupo sa judges table because it's not really my role as the stage manager - they manage the backstage, not judge or critique auditionees. But that day, they can't have an even number of judges, so I stepped in. First time I saw you was as an auditionee. Very meek, introverted, small voice. NOT in an insulting way. Every person, regardless of shape, size, demeanour, blood type, has a place in the theater. Part of the job is to observe every single thing about the auditionee the moment they walked in. We wanna see what raw talent we're working with. The requirement was to prepare a monologue. Doesn't matter kung English or Filipino. What we were looking for was how the auditionee will use movement to strengthen their monologue performance. No joke, but kung ano yung kina-meek mo as Camille the auditionee, ganun din yung gravity ng weight mo as you start performing. Your high-mid, throat-sourced voice was nowhere to be found. You were firm, loud but not screaming. Just modulated. It actually impressed me. To explain, an actor has three instruments in their arsenal for a great performance: body, voice, and brains. Newbie actors often can't nail even one of the three without serious training. Thus, the fact that you already have THE VOICE was already a plus. Even theater actors who have been around for a while can still find it difficult to do proper modulation without destroying their throats in the process. You already have your technique down in that regard. It was easy for me to say "Yes, bring her in. She has something we can work with." Fast forward, rehearsals. First time ko to as a stage manager. In the past, I always am an actor. I've seen my share of good AND bad actors, both on and offstage. Mga actors na diva, mahirap katrabaho, walang respeto sa staff kase akala nila sugo sila ng Diyos at walang show without their holy presence being there. They expect the staff to clean up after their shit. They get mad when they're being critiqued or corrected. They come in late sa rehearsals coz: 1) they think that they are already so good or experienced an actor that they don't need to rehearse with the others (LIE. Even THE Lea Salonga goes to rehearsals with her script already memorized and her throat well-prepared to sing Sondheim songs for the next 6 hours), 2) they think their role is too "small" that they don't need to be there all the time (LIE. There are no small roles; only small actors.), 3) they give ZERO shit about the entire experience. Their "Yes, I wanna be part of the cast!" ...actually means: "Yes, pero pag may time lang ako at convenient yung rehearsal time at space at ako yung star ng show." ...and not: "Yes, I wanna be part of the cast because I believe we have an important story to tell and I wanna be part of the cast that will help convey that message in any way I can." Yep. Those people are very, VERY difficult to work with. They are the kinds of actors that would make you realize as an SM na: You know what, I honestly prefer newbie actors who may not be able to deliver a performance that is up to par with what we want BUT still works hard to come close to the quality we're looking for... ...than a super experienced actor who knows what they should do but shows up late sa rehearsals, treats backstage staff horribly, and is overall a pain to be around. I don't care how long you've been doing this. I don't care na nakapagperform ka na sa malalaking theater halls, or kung galing kang BACA program, or alam mo kung ano ba yung totoong The METHOD acting na dinevelop ni Strasberg na gimagawang excuse ng mga Hollywood actors para maging assholes sa mga katrabaho nila. Looking at you, Jared Leto. Anyway, why am I telling these things? Andame ko na sinabe lmao I said this for you, Camille, to know that, I may have met my share of diva actors offstage, but you... ...you will NEVER be on that list. Truth be told, you are actually what I call "the model actor". The one na gusto naming katrabaho (as oldies who have been doing theater for a while). In my time as your SM, you are the least of my worries. I can see that you have the discipline and raw talent of an actor who, when honed and given the right mentorship, can really soar. You are definitely the type of newbie actor I just LOVE to work with. You come in one hour before rehearsals. You take the physical warm-up seriously. You were one of the first who memorized their lines already. You have NEVER been absent. If I was your instructor, matik flat 1.0 ka saken, teh. Performance-wise...mejj di na-hit masyado. But that's okay! We live and we learn. And based on experience, your last performance is only, like 30% of the decision about whether we want to get you as an actor again in another show. The other 70%? It's based on what we heard from the staff who worked with you sa previous prod. The theater community in UPLB is suuuuper small. People from one production would often work in another production after a show closes. Heck, I had experience na may 6 productions ako in four months. One week after a show does its final curtain, I'm already in another show, preparing for opening night. Three days later, another production. Because we work closely, news fly. Yung staff na sinigawan mo coz they misplaced your prop? May chance na sya na yung direktor sa next prod. And because of your rotten attitude, they will never work with you again no matter how good your performance was. Simply put, if I would mount a theater production again, I will not think twice about hiring you. You don't need to audition. Just come in with the same fire and passion and commitment. Acting? Natuturo yan. Natetrain yan. Passion? Commitment? Nasa tao yan. And I know you have both. I would be so, so happy if given the chance to work with you again in any capacity, coz I know na ibibigay mo ang lahat in the same way na ibibigay ko ang lahat para sa kwentong gusto nating iparating sa madla. Yun. Yung masarap katrabaho. That is why I'm so, so sad that I will never get to experience that again. You have been a light, a glimmer of hope in a sea of mediocrity and complacency. You were professional, pleasant to work with, open to critique, sociable, and kind. All of us staff can never say a bad thing about you. You go above and beyond to make sure that your performance was better than the last. It didn't matter na 1% lang yung improvement, or 75%. Ang mahalaga, gumagalaw. Umuusad. Nakakarating sa paroroonan. At ngayon, nakarating ka na sa iyong paroroonan. Kung nasaan ka man, sana ay masaya ka. Sana maappreciate din nila how much of a sunshine you were to us. Sana ma-reap mo yung resulta ng iyong disiplina at tiyaga. Finally, sana, at peace ka. You were a blessing to the people around you, specifically me. I KNOW you will continue to do so. It was an honor to meet you in this lifetime. If reincarnation was real, I'd love to meet you again sa next alternate universe. Salamat sa buhay mo, Camille.

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I’ve always known you as such a good and talented friend. I was really shocked and heartbroken when I found out about what happened, especially since you’ve always been so jolly and full of energy — I can still picture you still being active on TikTok and making everyone smile with your dance and song covers. Maraming salamat sa pagpapasaya mo at sa naging presensya mo.

Undeniably, we shared good memories lalo na nung grade 12 with cat chan and abby, and I know our common friends would agree that you’re one of the kindest, smartest, and most genuine people out there. Fly high, Camille. Thank you for being such a good friend. You will be deeply missed but never forgotten.

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Pagaling ka mhie, laban lang please !

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If there is another chance, I wish I could see you smile again and experience your tight, warm hugs. Maybe in an alternate timeline or universe, we are still ranting about our mismatched SAIS/ AMIS schedule, sipping coffee at a coffee shop while studying, and other things that we did together. I am thankful to have you in this lifetime and hoping I could still be your friend in the next one.

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Hi Camsie, I love you and I miss you. Thank you for meeting me. Mahirap mauna ang anak kaysa sa mga magulang. Kaya saludo ako sa family mo at sayo for sticking through everything. You are one earnest and brave soul. Watch over us okay? I will keep our promise and try everything that makes me happy.

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Favorite memory ko yung nakitambay ako sa tindahan malapit sa Ilags compound

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Favorite memory ko yung nakitambay ako sa tindahan malapit sa Ilags compound

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Nalaman ko yung mga latest happenings mo sa buhay. May love life ka na pala nun gurl. Tapos naglakad tayo pa-sperm bridge. Sabi mo gusto mo magkapamilya, eh ako kasi sabi ko ayaw ko. Pati na magwork bilang office worker nga ba yun, teacher o guidance counselor (bet). Ang dami mo pang gusto makamit sa buhay mo...

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Bakit nga ba shiniship namin kayo ni sheki nun haha

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Bakit nga ba shiniship namin kayo ni sheki nun haha

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For fun lang naman na nagkaraoke tayo tapos di ka naiinis haha. Happy momints!

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Nakakaiyak pala tong kanta natin haha. Camsie lagi kitang nakikita noon sa Tiktok so syempre hindi ko palalagpasin noong inaya mo ko na kumanta tayo.

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Sabi nila sa coffee shop ka mahahanap, feel ko rin sa hallway ng masci natutulog

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Sabi nila sa coffee shop ka mahahanap, feel ko rin sa hallway ng masci natutulog

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Sabi mo nga nagpopower nap ka every afternoon para may energy pagkagising. Sana nga nagpopower nap ka lang sa mga oras na ito. Pero hindi... I hope that you met your friend Andi ❣️ I am so blessed na nabuhay ka at nakasama kita mabuhay.

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Hi Cam,

Thank you for the 10 years of friendship. During all those years, you brought nothing but good memories, and I'm so happy that we became best friends. Grabe 10 years na yun? Hehe not enough tho... Pero it's okay 🫂 im proud of you in every way. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: you are the bravest and kindest person I've ever known.

It's heartbreaking that you're gone na kasi you were such a genuine person, and your presence made such a big impact on all of us. It's surely a huge loss:((. But on the brighter side, you're no longer in pain.. no more "pagod na ako" You can finally rest, dance, and sing again without any limits!!

Cam/Milla/bestie, I promise to live my life for you and to keep chasing the dreams we shared(alam mo na mga yun). We still had so many plans together, but I'll carry them with me and make you proud hehe. I love you so much, and I miss you deeply.

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Like you, art is my silent way of protesting as an introvert gal

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Like you, art is my silent way of protesting as an introvert gal

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Ngayon ito ang matapang. Sayang lang at hindi natin sabay masasaksihan na makulong ang mga korap sa Pilipinas.

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A time you felt really grateful for your friendship?

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A time you felt really grateful for your friendship?

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Sya si korique at mum person. Very sweet at maalaga magchat.

Never sya nag invalidate ng feelings. According to her "you cant control some feelings/emotions at nabanggit mo lang naman yung fact." Magtampo ka man sa kanya ay naiintindihan nya na parang therapist.

Sinasamahan niya ko sa discord dati kapag inaaya ko sya mag-aral. Okay rin sya kagrupo kapag group work gawa na kapag sinabi nyang gagawin niya sa oras na ito ay matic gawa nya.

Noong nawalan ako ng internet sa dorm ay pinapatuloy nya ko sa dorm nya, nakikiwifi ako.

Napakaconsiderate rin niya kasi may dala syang tinapay o anumang alay kapag nanghihingi sya ng favor sa akin like makitulong sa script reading etc.

Minsan hindi mo nakikita yung binibigay mo ring effort sa iba. Mayroon ka rin namang skill, grit, energy, lakas ng loob at tibay ng loob e. Sana maraming nagsabi sayo noon. Napakahardworking mo. I wish mas naipakita ko pa sayo yung support ko. Masaya naman ako na nawiwitness ko na naaabot mo yung mga bucketlist mo. Si Gab Pangilinan kaya nameet mo na ever? Manonood ka pa sana ng mga show niya shocks.

Feel ko naging close tayo kasi bukod sa shared passion sa sining ay pamali mali rin ako. Tapos yung pagkakamali natin tinatawanan lang natin at try lang tayo nang try. Tyaka feel ko dati akala natin okay na yung sarili lang natin ang sandigan natin, pero we eventually valued the importance of relationship and friends. Gentle soul ka rin at ayaw mo na may nalileft out sa grupo. What a sweetheart <33

Mamimiss ko yung mga sponty ganap at usap natin. Kaladkarin days ko ata nasaksikahn mo, ni-introduce mo pa ako sa CEM library at sa Baker Hall pool. Madali ba sayong itago ang kaba kasi akala ko medyo takot ka makipag-usap sa stranger? Nagulat kasi ako noon na kinausap mo yung couple sa pool tapos nagpaturo ka kay girl kung paano lumangoy. Pinapanood ko kayo nun at may utang pa ko na 20php sayo T,T Mygosh how I wish pwede magtime travel. Sana nga ako na lang... I remember din noong hindi ako komportable sa lugar ay sinamahan mo ako umalis at tinananong kung okay lang ako. Ayan tuloy nawala yung ibabayad mo sanang membership sa gym. Buti nabalitaan ko na nasubukan mo naman. Nag-enroll ako ng weight training para masamahan ka sana na bumalik doon. So many experiences na gusto ko pa matry natin. Sabi ng friend ko "no regrets" dont talk about regrets with you. Pero I really couldn't help myself. Sayang Camille, ang bata mo pa. Bakit sa lahat ikaw pa. Yung gusto pa mag-ampon ng mga batang iniwan na ng magulang nila, yung napakabait sa mga alagang hayop... Napakaganda ng pagpapalaki sayo. Napakabuti. Hindi na nga ako ngumunguya ng malakas kasi sabi mo petpeeve mo yun. Hindi na rin ako nabobother sa maitim na parte ng mga katawan ko kasi sabi mo "kailan mo isusuot ang mga yan? kapag kulubot ka na?" Let us love our body, you reminded us to take care of our health and seize the day(carpe diem). Value our time with our loved ones. I lost you but you will be forever in my heart. I will remember you. In everything I do, may Camsi na lumaban para sa buhay niya. We will live for you. We will give more kasi ganoon ka. We will help more kasi kaya mo pa sana magkaroon ng ability na magbigay at tumulong pa. I will honor your life, always. Mahal kita at sana mahalin ko pa rin ang sarili ko. huwag matakot magpahinga at huwag matakot bumoses. padayon my baby camsi.

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Isa sa mga aktor noong Isko't Iska 2021 na nagulat ako sa galing umarte! Tahimik lang kasi sya noon, nag aantay na kausapin bago magsalita, tapos nung rehearsal na, biglang lumaki yung pagkatao ni Camille na para bang nakalabas sya sa pinagtataguan nya. Tuwing time nya na para mag record ng scenes, tuwang tuwa talaga akong magbigay ng notes kasi ang bilis nyang tumanggap, sobrang proud ako sakanya, bilang direk, at bilang kaibigan. Imagine yung tuwa ko nung nakatrabaho ko ulit sya sa Streetlight Manifesto, lagi ko talaga syang nilalapitan nun, para akong ate na kumakausap sa nakababatang kapatid, ewan ko ba, something about Camille na parang ang saya alagaan, kaya sobrang mamimiss ko sya, naging malaking parte sya sa buhay estudyante ko, may plano pa sana kaming kumain nang magkasama, di bale, mag aalay nalang ako ng Michas para sakanya haha

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Unfortunately, nauna ka lang. Hanggang sa susunod nating pagkikita Camille 💗

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thank you for spreading your light in this world, camille. 🤍

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thank you for spreading your light in this world, camille. 🤍

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it still feels like the warmth of your bright smile and your kindness are here, like you haven’t left. i’ll always remember your talent and your grace. you fought a good fight.