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Relationships are all about balance. However, that statement is one of those things that are a whole lot easier said than done when you're an Alpha female. In a world in which a million little signs are sent every single day telling you to be powerful, confident and in control, it can be difficult to let up on the reins and allow your inner Beta to have her turn. And, my friend, I can assure you that there is nothing wrong with being a powerful, independent woman. What it means, however, is that striking balance in your romantic relationship can be a touch more challenging. As you probably know by now, that's the topic we'll be tackling in today's post. Ready? Let's go. 1. Honour His Masculine Energy

Alpha females are powerful forces. More often than not, these leading ladies wind up being "The Boss" in many areas of their lives. While this can lead to impressive accomplishments in a career, it can create challenging tensions at home. This is, quite simply, due to the two fundamental human energies - the masculine and feminine. Most men value and appreciate a confident, self-assured female partner. That said, it's important that your male partner be given the space and permission to express his own masculine energy and Alpha qualities. What's more important, still, is that you honour this energy and see it not as in competition with your own abilities to lead, but as an opportunity to loosen your hold on the reigns and allow your inner Beta to enjoy a little time away from the wheel.

When your partner does take his turn steering the ship, I urge you to avoid becoming a back seat driver. Steering clear of criticism, especially amongst his friends and family, is very important. There is nothing more discouraging than being encouraged to try something new or make a decision, only to then feel ridiculed or second-guessed along the way.
2. Know there is Power in The Feminine
Did you know that feminine energy is boundlessly powerful? You have the ability to make someone feel entirely at ease, accepted and loved with only your body language. You have the distinct ability to be alluring, persuasive, inviting and communicative without saying a single word. I encourage you to avoid viewing femininity as expressing weakness. Because, frankly, females are anything but.

Instead, I ask you to view your natural feminine energy and instinct for what it is - incredible, powerful and positive. You have the fundamental ability to support, nurture and honour your partner. Your partner has the fundamental instinct to care for you, protect you and provide you comfort. If you're having a tough day, consider leaving your "business suit" at the door and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with your partner. Let him into your struggle and allow him to help make things better.
3. Nurture His Journey to Learn and Grow
As an Alpha, it may be easy to assume that you can do something better, faster or more efficiently than someone else. When it comes to your relationship with your partner, this can enter dangerous territory. While perhaps you truly are better suited to tackle a particular task, it's important that your partner feel he has the space and permission to step up and try his hand at something new.

I urge you to keep things in perspective and understand the difference between letting your partner paint a room and encouraging your partner to rebuild your car's transmission with zero mechanical experience. Aside from a few splatters of paint that may need to be cleaned up later, there's really no risk in letting your man take the lead and get his DIY on. Sure, you may actually be a better painter, but does it really matter in the big picture? No. Show your support as he learns new things instead of limiting his potential by insisting you do it yourself.
4. Be Aware of Your Ability to Impact
You are the most important person to your partner, with the most power to impact his thoughts, opinions and feelings. Chances are that he is the exact same to you. The difference is that, with an Alpha, outside influence doesn't always reach as deep. You must remember to stay aware and conscious of your unique, and near endless, impact on your partner.

Things that may seem simple or like "no big deal" to you, such as dragging him along on a night out with a group of your friends, or making him stay at a party when he's clearly not enjoying himself or feels tired, can have a big effect on your relationship. Respecting his interests, reading his cues and remembering that winning isn't everything will go a long way.
5. Embrace the Spectrum
Something I read recently really stuck out to me. The author spoke of how masculine and feminine energies, as well as Alpha and Beta personalities, exist on a spectrum. While someone may exhibit more Alpha qualities than Beta, it doesn't mean that this balance can't or won't shift over time. What's more is that neither partner is truly 100% Alpha or Beta. If they were, the relationship simply wouldn't work. If both were Alpha, nearly every interaction would be catatonic. If both were Beta, nothing would ever get done. It's important that both partners embrace the spectrum and have the ability to amplify the two energies - masculine and feminine - that make them who they are. Welcoming this fluidity and ongoing balance is crucial to the success of your relationship!

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine
Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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How to Find Balance in Your Relationship When You're an Alpha Female

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Relationships are all about balance. However, that statement is one of those things that are a whole lot easier said than done when you're an Alpha female.

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How to Find Balance in Your Relationship When You’re an Alpha Female

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How to Find Balance in Your Relationship When You’re an Alpha Female

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If you're single, there's a good chance that your couple friends and family can sometimes find it hard to relate to you. Perhaps they've offered to set you up with someone they know, made a comment or asked a question that made you feel awkward, or regularly check in to ask if you're "still single." This is because your friends and family, like many people within our relationship-focused culture, have grown to believe certain stereotypes over time. Sure, there may be downsides to being single, but there are a whole lot of upsides too. This post talks about exactly what - the six stereotypes about being single that got it totally wrong. 1. It's So Hard Cooking for One

Cooking for yourself, and just yourself, can be incredibly enjoyable. This is your chance to be adventurous, explore different cuisines and never have to compromise on the menu. Love pineapple and olives on your pizza? Do your thing. It's 100% up to you! Plus, with so many cook-at-home subscriptions and grocers offering options that cater to those seeking smaller portions than the traditional four-person household, it can not only be enjoyable but affordable as well.
2. You Can't Enjoy Traveling
There's no denying that traveling on your own is different from traveling with a partner, but that doesn't mean it's not just as exciting or fulfilling. In fact, traveling on your own can be the most rewarding experience of your life if you approach it with the right mindset. Take the opportunity to go somewhere you've always wanted to, step outside your comfort zone and make lasting friendships and memories. Not only that, but you're gaining life experience and amazing stories to share with your future partner.
3. You're a Workaholic
Being single doesn't equate to being a workaholic or lacking in life balance. Actually, it's pretty likely that you have a more balanced life and greater time for your passions than many couples do. You set your own schedule, only have yourself to answer to and have the complete ability to do what you want. Want to pour yourself into your career and land your dream promotion? Want to commit to living a mindful life and take off on a yoga treat in Bali? Want to live a totally balanced life that allows for rewarding work and personal time? It's your call and no one else's.
4. You Just Don't Know What You Want
There's a preconceived notion that a single person may be single because he or she doesn't know what they want, or because they are being "too picky." There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting the bar high and refusing to settle - and this can be difficult for those in a relationship to understand at times, as often sometimes people define success in life by finding a partner, getting married and having children. Remind yourself that it's not that you don't know what you want. In fact, it's just the opposite. You want to live your fullest life, find the right partner and do it in a way that makes you happy.
5. Happy Couples Annoy You
Just because you're single doesn't automatically mean that you dislike happy couples or no longer want to hang out with your "couple friends." Sure, feeling like the third wheel can be a little challenging at times, but you are a mindful adult capable of determining whether or not you like someone based on their individual actions. You see a couple as two equal partners, not as a single being. Some people in relationships may rub you the wrong way, but it's not because of the fact that they're in a relationship. You don't breathe life into stereotypes.
6. You Must Be So Lonely
Have you ever heard the phrase, "I've never felt so lonely than when standing in a room full of people?" You see, anyone is capable of experiencing a sense of loneliness. Those in relationships still do experience loneliness from time to time, sometimes more emotional than physical, but still just as valid. And, being single doesn't mean that you're sitting at home by yourself. Many of my single clients take full advantage of their autonomy by trying new restaurants, spending more time with friends, following a passion or hobby they've put off and by filling their time with the people and things they love.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine
Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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6 "Single" Stereotypes That Got it Wrong

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If you're single , there's a good chance that your couple friends and family can sometimes find it hard to relate to you.

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Why & How to Create a Conscious Relationship

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Why & How to Create a Conscious Relationship

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I've written before about the concept of conscious uncoupling, and the powerful and positive effects having the right mindset can have during the dissolution of a relationship. What I want to focus on today, however, are the ways in which you can create a conscious relationship with your new or existing partner. No matter the stage of your relationship, whether it is new or familiar, you will be amazed at the positive impact committing to growing a relationship filled with mindfulness, mutual respect and authenticity can have. Ready to shift your mindset and bring true consciousness to your relationship? Let's dig in. 1. Commit to Total Union & Kick Judgment to the Curb

I encourage my clients to view a relationship as the union of two separate, complete and fulfilled beings. You are not a half and your partner is not a half. Rather, you have joined to create something bigger than the sum of its parts. In order for such a partnership to reach its full potential, it's important that you see yourselves as full beings outside of the relationship.

You are joined with your partner on a journey to find, grow and sustain happiness. Of course, judgment will arise. You will both make mistakes, but just as you would forgive yourself, it's critical that you develop the ability to communicate first instead of jumping to judgment. A powerful question I share with my clients when they are feeling disappointed with their partner is "WHY do I think that I did that action/said that comment?" By doing this first, it opens up different parts of your brain and you are more easily able to enter into discussion.
2. Actively Look for Ways to Grow the Relationship
The best and most mutually rewarding relationships never stop growing. Both partners continuously look for ways to grow themselves and the relationship as a whole, recognizing when they've fallen into routine and committing to approach each experience with a learner mentality. There will always be something new to learn about your self, your partner and your relationship together.

Make the conscious choice to treat every situation as an opportunity to learn something new about your partner and foster a stronger sense of connectedness and understanding. Support each other in following your passions, make time for one another and never stop finding new ways to develop. Remind yourself to stay curious, playful and invested; and encourage your significant other to do the same. Within relationships, you both change over the years and so be open to adaption and shifting with your partner rather than focusing solely on how things once were.
3. Practice Self-Awareness & Choose to Be in the Relationship
It can be easy to fall into routine and develop a sense of expectation or entitlement when in a long-term relationship. You've been together for so long that you've come to expect them to be there at the end of the day, to listen to your problems and support you at every turn. However, it's so important to practice self-awareness and remind yourself that being in a relationship is a conscious choice on the parts of both individuals.

You don't owe your partner love or support, you choose to love them and support them. They don't owe you a comforting shoulder or understanding gaze; they choose to offer them to you. Shifting from expectation to awareness and appreciation will have amazing impact on your relationship and your life. Developing the ability to deeply appreciate and acknowledge the words and actions of others will allow you to feel a greater sense of love, happiness and will make you more present when speaking and acting yourself.
4. Sustain Your Self as an Individual & Recognize Your Partner as the Same
As I mentioned, the most rewarding unions happen when two equal and full individuals come together. While you work to foster your relationship, don't forget to take time and put forth the effort to grow and sustain yourself as a unique, expressive individual. Your passions, present and future goals are just as important now as they were before. Your relationship will only grow stronger the more self-assured and fulfilled you become as an individual. Make this a priority, my friend.

And, in the same vein, remember to recognize your partner as a unique individual as well. He or she must also make the time to grow their passions, focus on their own development and become the best version of themselves that they can be. Support your partner on their journey, but still remain balanced with your own dreams and desires.
5. Do All Things With Love and Focus On Who They Are
Whether you're celebrating an anniversary or achievement, or find yourself in an argument about something trivial or otherwise, try your best to approach the situation with love in your heart. Remember that everything you say and do has the power to impact. Your words can build your partner up or tear your partner down, both having lasting effect. Do all things with love - even when it feels challenging. Pause and really consider your words before they exit your mouth. I know, there's the heat of the moment stuff, but at the end of the day everyone (including yourself) is looking to be seen and appreciated for what they have done and contributed to the relationship rather than feeling like the focus is on all the things they haven't. Take time to focus who they are vs. who they aren't.

You, your partner and your union will thank you.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine
Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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Why & How to Create a Conscious Relationship

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I've written before about the concept of conscious uncoupling , and the powerful and positive effects having the right mindset can have during the dissolution of a relationship.

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5 Ways to Remain Mindful in Online Dating

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5 Ways to Remain Mindful in Online Dating

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I know what you must be thinking. " Mindfulness and online dating? Is it even possible that the two concepts can exist together?" Well, my friend, like any other thing, it's all in the way you approach it. If you're considering online dating, or are already doing it, it is possible to both remain mindful and use online dating to find a great date or relationship. Let's explore how. 1. Interact Authentically

I've written before about how to create an attractive, authentic online dating profile. If you haven't already read the post, I definitely encourage you to do so by clicking here. When it comes to interacting with other users, try to do so with a certain level of self-awareness, intentionality and openness. To be mindful in your online dating journey, it's important to understand the difference between being authentically friendly and falsely familiar.
2. Explore with Purpose
Instead of browsing profiles aimlessly, whether it is to pass the time or otherwise, I urge you to be purposeful each time you open the app or log onto the site. Setting the intention to explore only the profiles that really match what you're looking for, and thinking twice about who you "like" or who you message, will help keep you on your true path to finding the right partner.
3. Limit Your Screen Time
We've all heard that spending too much time on social media can be detrimental to a person's self-esteem, self-worth and overall life experience. The same can be said about dating apps and sites, especially as they become more and more popular with more profiles than ever before to flip through. Consider limiting your "screen time" each day to ensure you remain purposeful in your exploration and avoid "app addiction."
4. Release Feelings of Rejection
When you see a profile that interest you and you send a like or shoot them a message, it's natural to feel a sort of rush. There's an exciting anticipation in waiting for a reply from someone you think you might be attracted to, but it's important to remember to not become too invested this early on. I encourage you to not take any lack of reply as something personal. Don't allow yourself to feel rejected, because you genuinely haven't been. And, when you do take a conversation offline and meet for a date, try not to set expectations. Every experience offers the opportunity for learning and reflection.
5. Reflect Regularly & Honestly
Pausing every once in a while to check in with yourself and really evaluate where you're at and where you want to go is crucial to living your truest, most authentic life. It's also an incredibly effort when it comes to online dating. It can be easy to become passive and settle into a routine of logging on, checking profiles, sending a few messages and calling it a day. Remember to take time to reflect on the results you're seeing (or not seeing), what's working and what's not. Be honest with yourself without being critical and commit to taking the steps you need in order to be successful in your journey.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine
Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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5 Ways to Remain Mindful in Online Dating

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I know what you must be thinking. " Mindfulness and online dating? Is it even possible that the two concepts can exist together?" Well, my friend, like any other thing, it's all in the way you approach it.

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Often, when a woman feels a distance manifesting between her and her partner, instinct can easily take over leading to the beginning of a "pursuit." Often times this means one partner begins literally following and remaining close to the other. Suddenly every moment must be spent together, every thing must be discussed at length and every argument - even the most minor and typically insignificant - is amplified. Dear friend, this is called a reactive response. What's more is that this kind of response can wind up causing further damage, and creating further distance. That's why I want to talk with you about shifting from reactivity to proactivity and seeing distance differently. Because, believe it or not, a relationship funk, or rut, can be an incredible opportunity for growth. Keep reading to learn how to clear the fog between you and your partner, reconnect and get back on track together.
1. Commit to Fostering the Solution Instead of Making a Diagnosis
When one partner feels as though the other seems distant or uninterested, the first question that pops into her mind tends to be, "Why?" This question is closely followed by, "What did I do?" I am challenging you to let those questions go. There are many reasons why someone may seem quieter, more distant or less engaged. He could be stressed, under a lot of pressure at the office, he may be feeling sad about something completely unrelated to your relationship or just having an "off" week. It happens to all of us, but it's a whole lot easier to recognize when it's happening to someone else.

What I'm asking you to do is to commit to creating a solution to the problem instead of pursuing a diagnosis. While it's absolutely important to understand the why behind someone's actions or words, it's not going to help you or your relationship to overanalyze every moment, invite criticism to the party, or hunt down one specific answer. Instead, channel your loving energy into giving your partner the support and attention he needs to get back to his usual, amazing self.
2. Be the Change You Want to See
You may be surprised to know just how much you and your partner feed off of one another. Your individual view of the world, approach to relationships, speaking style and mood greatly impacts those of your partner. Sometimes it can impact your partner in the way that you wind up sharing many of these habits and behaviours. When it comes to reconnecting with your partner and truly getting your day-to-day back on track, it's important that you be the change that you want to see.

Take time to appreciate the micro moments that happen in your relationship. While a spontaneous weekend getaway may be fun and exciting, it's the more "mundane" moments of everyday life that build and shape your partnership. Turn towards him when he speaks, practice active listening and show your authentic appreciation for his opinions, actions and love. Actively nurturing your relationship will inspire him to do the same. And, when he makes a bid for connection - such as sending you a mid-day text or giving you a kiss goodbye - take pause and allow yourself to be fully present.
3. Be Present, But Respect his Needs for Space
Like I mentioned, your immediate reaction may be to eliminate any and all space between the two of you. Instead of taking this approach, I urge you to be present and attentive while still respecting his need for space. Your partner is a unique human being with individual interests and the need for "me" time just like anyone else. There is a difference, however, between an hour spent playing video games or reading a book and days on end of physical and/or emotional separation.

Consider letting him know that you've noticed how busy you have both been lately and would love to spend more time together. Be honest and upfront, but avoid coming across as accusatory. Make a commitment to spend tomorrow evening together, even if it's just cooking dinner and watching a movie at home. When tomorrow comes, ensure that you remain in the moment and present by removing distractions. If you have children, consider setting up a play date so you have the house to yourself. Leave your mobile phone on silent or, even better, place it in another room. When you're on the couch watching the movie, leave your laptop put away and stay focused on enjoying the here and now.
4. Embrace Mindfulness
I cannot emphasize enough the importance or power of mindfulness. An incredibly effective practice in your individual life, the positive impact of mindfulness is limitless when it comes to relationships. I've written on the topic several times recently and strongly encourage you to explore those posts here. You will be amazed at the transformation that practicing a higher level of self-awareness, empathy and deep understanding can lead to.

A key aspect of bringing mindfulness to your relationship is committing to continuously growing not only your partnership but also your understanding of one another as individuals. The journey of getting to know each other doesn't end when you move in with each other, say "I do" or even welcome your first child. Quite the opposite, this journey is a lifelong one. As you both evolve and grow as individuals, there will always be something new to discover. I encourage you to see this fact as a never-ending adventure packed full of excitement, opportunity and fulfillment.
5. Be Willing to Step Outside your Comfort Zone
Last but most definitely not least, I ask that you be willing to step outside your comfort zone. It can be all too easy to allow regular routine to take hold, and it's so important to remember that what got you here isn't necessarily going to move you forward. Engage as a partner and spend time exploring not only your shared passions or hobbies, but also those that your partner holds dear. Is he into car racing, but you can't imagine waking up at 4AM to catch the European coverage? You guessed it; you may want to consider setting an alarm and spending that time together. Showing your support for your partner's individual passions, and that his happiness leads to your happiness, can be a truly bonding experience. No you don't have to buy the T-shirt and become an insta-fan but being open to the reasons why he is passionate about different things/activities is great for bonding.

To your authenticity,

Love, Christine
Want to Become a Certified Dating Coach and Help Others Find Love?
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Distant Partner? 5 Steps to Reconnect & Get Back on Track

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Often, when a woman feels a distance manifesting between her and her partner, instinct can easily take over leading to the beginning of a "pursuit." Often times this means one partner begins literally following and remaining close to the other. Suddenly every moment must be spent together, every