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My letter for Fridays work.

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Three things I did well:
1. Mr Ross knew why I was  writing the letter.
2. I used a rhetorical question.
3. I said who would like a trampoline room.

I could make my paragraphs more clear to see. I should I started each paragraph a little way in from the page.

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Dear teachers

I am writing to tell you that I would like a Video game room I think this because after children have finished there work they can go in the video game room and play on the Xbox or on the iPads the reason why this would be good for the school is because the children are ill won’t to go on the Xbox or iPads and do there work quicker and not mess around.The people think will like this are children who like to go on iPads and Xbox’s this is a win win for everyone because the children get to play and the teachers will be happy because there lessons are more quick and not as much messing around. So that is why I would like to per swayed you to get a video game room.

Your sincerely Emily

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Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.

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What I did well:
• it was clear who the sender and recipient are.
• lots of conjunctions used.
• a good memorable phrase
What I could do better:
• use more detail to describe things.

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My letter.

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more writing.

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one thing I could improve In my hot write 

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one thing I could improve In my hot write 

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more description and more conjunctions

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1. My pattern of three
2. Good conjunctions
3. Its clear to who it is too and from

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1. good description
2. talking to the reader
3. a lot of writing

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Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Create a new document and edit with others at the same time -- from your computer, phone or tablet. Get stuff done with or without an internet connection. Use Docs to edit Word files. Free from Google.

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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jUJtLPNenLlcEg9sg6us5Jlrhs6SIFRITvv8iCYtCN4/edit

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My story map

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You can choose one of these ideas to create your letter or think of an idea of your own....

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Here is an example of my reflection of my writing....

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When you have finished your letter connect a picture/screen shot of it to this post to share with your friends...

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Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

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Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

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What would you like to see in your school?

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What would you like to see in your school?

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We are going to use this letter to convince our Head Teacher to let us have a room of our choice in our school. But what will you choose to use that room for? Add your ideas to the comments...

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Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

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Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

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Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

# data[].attributes.subject
Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

# data[].attributes.headline
Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

# data[].attributes.subject
Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

# data[].attributes.headline
Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

# data[].attributes.subject
Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

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Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

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Things to remember when writing your persuasive letter.

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Put your ideas into one sentence using a colon...

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Put your ideas into one sentence using a colon...

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I think a music room in our school would be incredible because: It would create super learning opportunities for all children, it would give children who do not own instruments time to practise and we could create beautiful music for all school events.

Add your sentence to the comments...

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Why would your idea be great for our school?

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Why would your idea be great for our school?

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Think of 3 reasons why your idea would be amazing for our school and add them to the comments.

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Hot Task - Today you are going to write a letter to persuade someone else to do something different.  Lesson 5 posts will all be green.

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Today you are going to reflect on our writing. If you would like to you can post a picture of your writing for others in year 3 to write their reflections also to give you some feedback. Remember we are using the checklist to help us and thinking of things we can improve as well as something we have done really well. Have a look at my example to help you.  Lesson 4 posts will all be blue.

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Welcome to our padlet for week 2. If you would like to share any of your amazing work you have created during this unit please feel free to upload it to our Year 3 DRET padlet where children from year 3 in other DRET schools will be uploading their fab work too!

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Today we will be making text maps (story maps). So grab some paper or post it notes and watch the video to help you with some ideas.

When you have finished your own map innovated from our model text upload a video/photo to the padlet and link to this post to share your ideas with your friends.

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Today you are going to create your Amber write using all of your fabulous innovated ideas. Lesson 3 posts will all be purple.

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Today we are innovating our text. Follow the posts in this lesson to discuss your ideas with your friends. Today's posts are all pink .