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How would you deal with thoughts about other people judging you for your actions (eg. they think whatever you do is fake)

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How would you deal with thoughts about other people judging you for your actions (eg. they think whatever you do is fake)

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Dissatisfaction and unease are inherent parts of human nature. No one is perfect and you can't please anybody!

The main thing we have to understand is that we don’t always control what happens to us. But what we can do is that we can always control how we interpret what happens to us, and how we respond to them!

If they think you are fake, then 1) I will suggest you to ignore them and not let them affect you and whatever you want to implement! I mean, if you are afraid of the whole gang hating on you, you can just think about how ridiculous it would be for them to gossip behind your back and say "wah xxx implemented this! shes so fake sia!" 2) If this was done so explicitly in front of you, you can try to understand from their perspective - is the reason why they think you are "Fake" arise from anything else you did? Eg. you were really bad to them initially and they think you are acting nice in front of your teachers. If that's the case, try to sort it out with them, hear from their perspectives and clear any misunderstandings.

But ultimately, just understand that it is impossible to please everybody - haters gonna hate! and i too, had some haters in nchs :)

Hope this helps! If there's more I can clarify, you can reach out to me on IG: @JOCELYNYEO_

Best,
Jocelyn

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what are your main takeaways as being a sports leader in nchs?

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what are your main takeaways as being a sports leader in nchs?

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I would like to put this disclaimer here that the "sports leader" in my era is quite different from the current "sports leader" in Nan Chiau now!

Last time, we didn't get to be part of investiture/falcons and our job scope was mainly limited to just gym duties/sports-events like CSM and cross-country duties and inter-class duties! So please be very grateful for the opportunity to be placed in such a position to serve :) I heard you guys have the autonomy to plan events now! (thanks to mr aw and the sports department of course!)

But I did enjoyed my time in Sports Leader, even though the opportunity to serve was limited.

Off the top of my head, the two main takeaways would be :

1) Being Firm and Standing by Your Decisions
Back in Sports Leaders, Inter-class duties can be quite stressful because it can be quite competitive, and everyone wants to win! And when you meet seniors when you are just a "small" Sec 2 student, it gets a bit more intimidating, especially when they are all more "macho" than you (and they look like they can beat you up any moment). But it is through these experiences of meeting people that may seem more "superior" to me that I learnt how to keep my ground, and not change my decisions. If it is an "out", it is an "out"! And of course, this was made possible because the teachers would always trust their sports leaders :) so there's nothing to be afraid off when things go bad!

2) What a leader really entails
Back then, I always thought being the leader of a CCA means that you best represent the CCA in terms of skills set. For instance, if I am the President of English Drama, it would mean that I act the best, because I saw the role as a President as someone that your juniors look up to! But when I was given the position to lead Sports Leader, I realised that a leader is not really about the skills-set! I obviously cannot run the fastest, as proven by the fact that my original intention of joining SL was to not run cross-country! The initial process was really hard, because it felt like I "Stole" the role from people who are more deserving and more representative of the CCA, until I reached out to my peers and realise that a leader is more than just that. It is also about who can gel the CCA together, who is the most enthusiastic and all!

Hope this helps! If there's more I can clarify, you can reach out to me on IG: @JOCELYNYEO_

Best,
Jocelyn

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were there moments where your self-confidence as a leader wavered? if so, how did you bounce back?

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were there moments where your self-confidence as a leader wavered? if so, how did you bounce back?

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Yes, definitely!

When I was in Hwa Chong, I was appointed as the CT rep of the class - and there was a lot of emphasis when it comes to "bonding the class".

It was even worse when we had a committee, also known as Faculty Committee, that are made up of CT Reps from all the classes in the faculty. And that's when comparisons come in!  I would look to them and be like "Wah, XXX's class is very bonded"

And then meanwhile, my class wasn't even close to bonded. They were quarrelling over the smallest things like the aircon temperature or the seating arrangement (I am not even joking LOLs)! And that made me feel quite upset - when I look at other classes going out happily, and when I look at me trying so hard but still not being able to bring the class together.

And of course, what i did was to find my friends! As I said before, 旁观者清. As humans, we always find fault in ourselves, and see ourselves as innately bad! But what my friend told me was "Different class has different needs because they are made up of different people. And just so happens, my class needs are not centered around class bonding. They just wanted a CT rep that can "baby-sit" them - for instance, getting them a class dustbin, or helping them fight for more welfare! But this contribution in this vein does not make it less valuable than bringing the class together because the needs of the "Followers" were all fulfilled. So I really think a close support of friends would help to keep you sane and help you to see things that you never would

Hope this helps! If there's more I can clarify, you can reach out to me on IG: @JOCELYNYEO_

Best,
Jocelyn

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Do you think that by taking up a leadership position, your attitude towards things can change?

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Do you think that by taking up a leadership position, your attitude towards things can change?

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A leadership position does not make one a leader. In the same vein, a leader can be one without a leadership position too.

But when you decide to take it upon yourself to be a leader, I am sure your attitude towards things would change.

As a follower, we perhaps are only concerned by things that affect us - eg. when will CCA end etcetc. As a leader, we are concerned with the bigger picture and we have to take into account perspectives that are just not limited to ourselves.

And when you become a leader, it ultimately affects you as a follower too. Or at least, thats what I feel :) For instance, having understand how hard it is to plan a class outing, I tend to support my friends who initiate CCA outing during the pandemic!

I guess being a leader allows you to go through more experiences that would allow you to be more empathetic !

Hope this helps! If there's more I can clarify, you can reach out to me on IG: @JOCELYNYEO_

Best,
Jocelyn

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how do you deal with impostor syndrome its really hard

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how do you deal with impostor syndrome its really hard

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An impostor syndrome is not that bad! Because think about it, an impostor syndrome happens when you are put in a position that is really really good, but you don't think that you are deserving of it, which means that you have gotten yourself a very good opportunity!

The only way to do it is to "whack it". It is all part of the game. You can’t win it if you don’t play it :) And since you are already in the "game", why not play it the best?

But of course, easier said than done! What I think you can do is to really seek affirmation from your friends and family because 旁观者清 - they are likely to understand what you are good at and hopefully, that will give you some self-love and confidence! If it helps, you can even constantly collect these compliments, place it somewhere, and whenever you are feeling sad, you can open it to seek some affirmation!

And when you are feeling the "impostor syndrome", definitely you see something that is inadequate in yourself. Instead of making it such a sad thing and drowning yourself in self-pity, try to find ways where you can upskill yourself ! Maybe take a Coursera course? Or ask for feedback? Get someone to mentor you? All of these will help you be better!

Often, it’s this realization - that you and your problems are actually not that severe in pain - that is the first and most important step towards solving them !

Hope this helps! If there's more I can clarify, you can reach out to me on IG: @JOCELYNYEO_

Best,
Jocelyn

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do you think that if someone cannot be motivated, it is wiser to give up on them? Like sacrifice one for the many others you can help

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do you think that if someone cannot be motivated, it is wiser to give up on them? Like sacrifice one for the many others you can help

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As far as possible, try not to "give up" on someone. Where possible, strive for the best possible outcome, even it's a bit tedious. I have "given up" on people before, and on hindsight I think a better solution is to always leave the door open - leave the invitation to participate/contribute there, and as practicable as possible, encourage them to join. For example, giving them a meaningful role to contribute to an event. I think in the long run, people who may have been unmotivated, but shown kindness and allowed to participate, will come to appreciate those that gave them such opportunities.

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do you have any tips on dealing with unmotivated excos?

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do you have any tips on dealing with unmotivated excos?

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Just a disclaimer that such scenarios are unique and no two unmotivated excos (or even members) are of the same reason so I cannot guarantee what I am going to say next will work.

As I am a very direct person (sometimes seemingly confrontational – like I prefer to settle the issue once and for all), one thing I would like to do first personally would be talking to them as a capacity of a friend, and not a leader. If you feel like the friendship between you and the exco is good enough to Find out what is their priority right now – maybe studies, maybe just enjoying the last few months before the mugging starts or maybe to spend time with their family. Find out what problems they are facing. Or even asking them why they are not like 100% sometimes tactically (if you guys are close).

Perhaps you can also try bonding the team. People in a bonded team will feel like they matter and have a greater stake in what they do and hence they will be more invested and more motivated to commit.

Ultimately, each situation is different and you have to vary accordingly. If you need more help, you can tell me more details via ig @s.iiu.yee and I try to help !! :”))

Warmest Regards,

Siu Yee

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Do you think motivational quotes are an effective way to motivate others?

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Do you think motivational quotes are an effective way to motivate others?

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Of course, if used appropriately. Famous quotes are snippets of wisdom from - usually - very wise people. As I said, experiences, while unique, often lead to lessons that are common. Motivational quotes could help someone find comfort in their distress, find incentive to take action, or just be all-around inspiring. But I do think quotes alone are not always useful, it would be more effective to use them as part of a larger message, say a sharing or group reflection.

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were there moments when you lost confidence in yourself? how did you regain that confidence?

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were there moments when you lost confidence in yourself? how did you regain that confidence?

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Definitely yes! Other than the instance I talked about during the sharing, setbacks – be it major or minor – will inadvertently throw my confidence off.

For me, people’s encouragement and guidance help me regain my confidence.

Personally, I would think of why I am doing it, and if I deem as important, I will just “yolo” and try, because it doesn’t hurt to fail again. If I succeed, it helps build back my confidence. In the same vein, having small accomplishments help to bring back my confidence too!

I hope that helps! If you need more clarifications, feel free to ig dm me @s.iiu.yee :D

Warmest Regards,

Siu Yee

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What if too much of the motivation comes internally? Is it a bad thing?

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What if too much of the motivation comes internally? Is it a bad thing?

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In my experience, people with too much internal motivation can come across as overzealous in their efforts, which can put people off. So yes, it could be bad to have too much internal motivation. Still, I think it is easier to tell someone to rein in their enthusiasm so they do not suffocate others, than to spur someone to action.

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how to push people that are your friends since they might not find the need to listen?

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how to push people that are your friends since they might not find the need to listen?

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I'd first try to reason with them. If they don't see a point in doing something there's probably a reason behind it. And if you want them to do something, you should have a good or better reason for it. So a pros vs cons kind of approach would be useful. If they still are unwilling to listen, maybe the problem is more subtle? In my experience people I know try to shirk responsibility or avoid doing things purely because they're lazy, and when the leaders try pushing them, their egos shut their ears close. In that case, tactful words to understand their position may help you find ways around their unwillingness.

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I chose to study medicine because I can’t see myself doing another job. It has most of the qualities of a job that I want – science, human interaction, dynamic and in a sense, choice (because medicine is like a small little world with different positions that have different characteristics and there’s a role for different personality). There is also the privilege of applying what we learn to directly help people, even though I would say it is not like my greatest reason as I personally feel like we are all helping others in most legitimate jobs. So, there is no correlation between helping people and medicine – you can always help me more in jobs like nursing, social work or even customer service.

Hope that helps you :”))

Warmest regards,

Siu Yee

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That depends on your priorities. Pragmatically wise, for many people, it has less impact on your career than your results. There will be benefits and sacrifices because of your role too. The only impact on your career I can think of right now is something that you can put on your portfolio for your prospective employers to see. Experience wise, (depending on what role) generally it provides you with a unique experience as you will be working with many different people, in and out of your course, and even people outside your university. Such scale may not be possible in secondary or even post secondary education. Emotionally, I feel a sense of accomplishment and bliss when I managed to reach my objectives of say an event.

Hope that helps!

Warmest Regards,

Siu Yee

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what would you say was ur highest point when as a leader

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what would you say was ur highest point when as a leader

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I am not sure what you meant but if you mean my highest point in my leadership journey, that will be the future. Experience will allow me to do better and even carry more responsibilities in the future.

Warmest regards,

Siu Yee

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is motivating teams a role of being a leader? + in order to motivate teams well, what should a leader have

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is motivating teams a role of being a leader? + in order to motivate teams well, what should a leader have

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I think motivating your team is certainly something a leader should try to do - if everyone if unmotivated, the team becomes dysfunctional and as a leader you'd have to answer for that. What should a leader have? Important qualities like empathy, open-mindedness and humility help. Before a leader can step up and make a great speech or implement policies to encourage their team, they'd have to be able to understand why morale is low.

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If you could go back to your secondary school days, is there anything that you would have done differently?

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If you could go back to your secondary school days, is there anything that you would have done differently?

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If I would like to change one thing, that would be taking higher Chinese when offered. My proficiency of Chinese is better than my English and should I have taken it, I probably would have saved many hours in J1 when I still have to take Chinese lessons.

I know this isn’t related to leadership, but I hope it helps haha!

Warmest regards,

Siu Yee

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Do you have any regrets taking on the leadership role(s) you had? 🙂

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Do you have any regrets taking on the leadership role(s) you had? 🙂

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Tons of regret. I wasted time, effort and even energy in some roles and even affected my grades or other commitment. However, one wouldn’t know the future, so it did not stop me from trying different roles and experiencing unique experiences. Life is too short to regret or even fear regrets, just try!

Hope that helps!

Warmest regards,
Siu Yee

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how can we motivate the team from a non leadership role?

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how can we motivate the team from a non leadership role?

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I think I touched on this briefly, but didn't manage to elaborate due to time. I mentioned that a team's motivation is not just the responsibility of the leader but everyone in the team. In a non-leadership role, you could very well do what a leader does. For example, engaging with disinterested peers and finding out why they are that way. Then, trying to include them in the project/discussion process, so they feel a sense of belonging and attachment to the group and project. Being in a non-leadership role could even be advantageous: maybe your friends would be more willing to listen to you, if you were to approach at their level.

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which leadership role did you enjoy the most and why?

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which leadership role did you enjoy the most and why?

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I really enjoyed being a student mentor on an OCIP trip to Cambodia, organised by your seniors (graduated in 2018 I think). I didn't talk about it in my sharing, but here I guided them in planning for the volunteer work, in helping them form bonds within their group, and in reflecting on their experience while in Cambodia. Besides the perks of organising a volunteering trip, what made me enjoy it so much was the personal lessons I got out of it. As a leader I learnt to be more understanding and more deliberate in my interactions with people, and as a person I learnt to be more daring and open to new experiences. Such as being a student mentor, even if you're not sure you're good enough.

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what advice would you give to those who have trouble motivating not only themselves but their teams as well?

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what advice would you give to those who have trouble motivating not only themselves but their teams as well?

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If you're feeling unmotivated, you may want to take a step back from your project/situation and analyse why you feel that way. Just as you would approach any other problem, deconstruct it and see if you understand why you feel unmotivated, then perhaps you can think of ways to solve the individual parts. That's how I deal with difficult situations and general depressive moods. Also, don't be too hard on yourself! Enjoy life.

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is getting into med sch hard? what are some things i shld do now if i want to go to med sch in the future

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is getting into med sch hard? what are some things i shld do now if i want to go to med sch in the future

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Personally, it was difficult for me. Well, there are practical steps for you to prepare which I will share in a while. However, I feel that the most important thing to prepare is your awareness towards medicine as a course and as a career. Find out about the different pathways, be it local or overseas, undergraduate or postgraduate. Find out the realities of studying and practicing medicine as it is often not as rosy as what others perceive. The most important part is understanding your purpose to study medicine. Yes, it may be too early right now. But take your time to understand yourself and the reason behind your desire to study medicine because in difficult times, your purpose will give you strength to push forward.

The most pragmatic thing to prepare for your medicine school would be your grades, and to really understand why you want to study medicine. (sorry, this is important so I shall emphasis this again)

[p.s. it is true that there are people who didn’t have any reason other than scoring well in A’s try and get into medicine but they may regret, especially since medicine is slightly harder to cross over to other industry with our MBBS]

There are other things that can help boost your portfolio like H3 subjects, CCA and CIP (I implore you not to do CIP for the sake of portfolio).

Happy that you are considering medicine as a career choice, if you need more clarifications, feel free to contact me via IG DM @s.iiu.yee

Warmest regards,

Siu Yee

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how did u find serving NS?what was the most fun part? + how different do u think ur life will be if u didnt join airforce + did you find serving NS extremely tough?

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how did u find serving NS?what was the most fun part? + how different do u think ur life will be if u didnt join airforce + did you find serving NS extremely tough?

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1. Serving NS was tough because it puts you in uncomfortable situations, mentally and physically and emotionally. At times it was "extremely" or even excruciatingly tough. But you know, if I learnt one thing from standing in the jungle at 3am standing guard, it's that somehow you'll survive, even if extremely sleep-deprived.
2. The most fun parts were messing around with my bunkmates and getting punished together.
3. If I wasn't posted to the air force, and in particular the squadron I was in, I'd probably not have learnt as much as I did, for example the leadership examples I brought up. More concretely, probably the types of skills (writing proposals, giving briefs etc.) I learnt would have been different.

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How do we motivate our CCA mates to make self-improvements, confidence-wise, etc. during the holidays? Esp. if we are too busy for CCA & can't be present

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How do we motivate our CCA mates to make self-improvements, confidence-wise, etc. during the holidays? Esp. if we are too busy for CCA & can't be present

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I think it would be useful to rationalise the incentives to encourage your CCA mates to engage in self-improvement. You might consider illustrating to them what sort of self-improvement you want them to make, so they have an idea of what to reflect on etc. Incentives - like pros/cons of doing it or not - presented rationally could be useful to persuade them that it is a worthwhile endeavour to take. Of course, first they must know what this is for, what they are expected to do, and why.

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How do you know what initiatives you can carry out? (limitations like resources, time, budget, etc)

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How do you know what initiatives you can carry out? (limitations like resources, time, budget, etc)

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I found it useful to speak to my team as they have a lot of good ideas. If it comes from them, there is greater ownership too!

It was also a fair share of trial and error. There were occasions that we started resource intensive sales and even had to bring it back home to get our family members to help!

As my CCA involved a lot of donations, we had to link up with various stakeholders who were willing to donate for our cause. Accounting and reporting the progress was very important.

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I have quite a few.

My late dad and my P6 Form Teacher. They were individuals who were dynamic and positive. They had a vision and guided their team to achieve it. If challenges arrived, they remained steadfast and always explored different ways to do things and solve problems. Their great amount of energy and people skills are admirable too.

I feel the above traits are important in a leader.

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Do you have any advice on how to empower my CCA mates with confidence during this holiday? F2F doesn't seem to be possible

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Do you have any advice on how to empower my CCA mates with confidence during this holiday? F2F doesn't seem to be possible

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Do ask yourself the following questions first:

1. What do you mean by empower?
2. What do you hope that they will gain at the end of the holidays?
3. If you were in their shoes, how would like your leaders to engage you?
4. Is what you have in mind a reasonable ask of your peers/juniors?

When you are clear about what you want, the solution will come easy! Remember, it is never possible to get a 100% buy-in. Even if you are able to influence a few, you have done a great job!

Share with me what you planned in the end next year. Jia you :)

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do you have any advice on building self confidence?

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do you have any advice on building self confidence?

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Practice and loads of it!

Confidence just doesnt happen. It comes with good knowledge, and practice. It is important to be skillful in our craft, own it, role-model it and present it. If your peers/juniors see that, you will gain their trust.

It is all a cycle!

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Is there anything that you regret not doing?

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Is there anything that you regret not doing?

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Well, on hindsight, there are always room for improvement. I constantly reflect and ensure that I improve each time. And now, when I think about it, i also wish that I had done some things differently. Dont be too hard on yourself and enjoy the journey! Hardwork is all about heartwork! :)

Otherwise, I had a great time and most importantly, made great friends who are in my life till today! :)

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Hi Ms Rama, can you share one leadership high point and one low point that you will always remember? Thank you.

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Hi Ms Rama, can you share one leadership high point and one low point that you will always remember? Thank you.

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High:
Receiving a call from Oli 96.8 (Tamil) radio channel for an interview during Women's International Day when I was 16. One of the sponsors that I spoke to had recommended me for the interview. I had the privilege of sharing my leadership journey with the radio listeners and I dedicated my dad's fav song at the end! It was a proud moment for me.

Low:
There were many lows, especially when I could not get the buy in from my members. I had to constantly reflect on my practices and approach. There were occasions where I had to run the show on my own and it was really tough!

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How can we reach out to our CCA mates in a way that does not create a strong divide between our statuses as leaders/non-leaders? How can we bridge that divide?

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How can we reach out to our CCA mates in a way that does not create a strong divide between our statuses as leaders/non-leaders? How can we bridge that divide?

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I believe a lot in servant leadership - the theory where the leader exists to serve. And a good way to actually be a servant leader is to get to know the people you are serving, get acquainted with them, and even make friends! Maybe if you serve as the President of Student Council, it might be impossible for you to make friends with the entire student population, but it is important to give the impression of you being approachable. So being friendly, having a smile on your face would help :) and when you are addressing your followers, avoid using the top down approach. There is a difference between being firm/confident and being overly aggressive as you can come off as being intimidating.

One thing I think I did as a leader during my times in NCDrama, is to get to know everybody or to at least speak to them (individually or in small groups). This way, it will help to cushion any negative impressions they have of you or of a leader, especially your juniors who are likely to feel like the seniors are always scary ! Try to find ways to see how you can ease this :)

Perhaps, share with them your vulnerabilities - let them know you are human as well, and then impart your words of wisdoms with them :) Jiayous! :)

Hope this helps! If there's more I can clarify, you can reach out to me on IG: @JOCELYNYEO_

Best,
Jocelyn