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Guide for helping children work through trauma following natural disasters and other traumatic events

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Guide for helping children work through trauma following natural disasters and other traumatic events

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guide for caregivers concerning traumatic events -second response

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In the space of just a few months, the 2019 coronavirus disease (COVID-19) altered the global landscape. Billions of people are confined to their homes. As the infection flouts state and national borders, the world is unified in battle against an unseen but deadly foe.

The direct consequences of the virus grow by the day. These are measured in infections and later by deaths. At the moment, our best solution is some combination of flattening the curve, herd immunity, and scientific innovation. But while it's likely that millions will suffer from the virus itself, billions are currently dealing with its indirect costs. One of the most significant of these is the collective strain on our mental health.

A March 2020 survey revealed that 36% of American adults are already experiencing a serious impact on their mental health due to the virus. When 1,210 Chinese respondents were polled on their mental health in early 2020, over half reported the psychological impact of COVID-19 as moderate-to-severe. Given the degree to which lives have been changed to date, it's likely we'll experience psychological aftershocks of COVID-19 for decades to come.

When addressing this problem, we must acknowledge that as a planet, we are anxious, overwhelmed and scared. And each of these descriptors relates to a fundamental challenge of the moment: we are painfully uncertain about what comes next.

Uncertainty isn't always problematic. It's part of what motivates people to play the lottery, watch a sports game or yell at someone when they give away a movie ending. But when we can't handle uncertainty, the possibility of negative outcomes looms large in our mind. This intolerance of ambiguity is linked to higher levels of anxiety and depressive symptoms.

If uncertainty makes us uncomfortable and even damages our mental health, what should we do at a time when the future seems especially fuzzy? There are a few ways to approach this puzzle. We can reframe uncertainty, accept it, change the way we experience it or move our focus elsewhere.
1. Reframe
Reframing (also known as cognitive reframing) is a psychological tool that helps us to see our problems from another angle. It can get us to stop perceiving the world, the future, and ourselves in an unnecessarily negative light. As it relates to the moment, we could perseverate on bad things that could happen to us or our loved ones. But if we reframe, we could instead see this period of uncertainty as an opportunity to connect with those we care about and as a powerful reminder that we're all in it together.
2. Accept
We can also lean into not knowing. Mindful acceptance is the idea of paying attention to the present moment-even if it's unpleasant-without judging or reacting to the situation. Studies have shown that using mindfulness and acceptance strategies can help with depression, anxiety, loneliness and may even lower the expression of pro-inflammatory genes.

In a 2019 trial, a group of participants was given brief instruction on how to accept unpleasant events. They were then shown photos of negative images and told to either react as usual or to accept the negativity. When the volunteers applied acceptance strategies while viewing the photographs, they reported significantly less negative feelings. Applying this to COVID-19, it means that while we continue to participate in the global fight against the virus, we might pause before allowing our mind to become weighed down by all the things we cannot change.
3. Rewire
Each of us experiences uncertainty in a different way. It's not just facts; it's how we interpret the data that determines our mental health. To this end, we know that we can change our brains so they are better able to manage stress and anxiety. In the last several years, research in a variety of fields has revealed strategies that can help us with this goal.

Exercise, for example, has long been seen as therapy for the mind. Both aerobic and anaerobic exercise programs decrease symptoms of anxiety. But it's also been connected to changes in brain function. A 2019 study showed that 12 minutes of running were sufficient to alter connectivity patterns in the amygdala, a part of the brain implicated in anxiety.

Nature exposure is associated with general health benefits, better mental health, and alterations in brain function. One study found people who walked through a natural environment for 90 minutes had decreased activity in a part of the brain linked to mental illness compared to those walking in an urban area.

Sleep is related to a variety of health outcomes. More recently, sleep issues have been tied to poor mental health, with sleep loss connected to depressed mood, anxiety, and distress. Researchers believe sleep helps reset our brain's circuits overnight, allowing us to approach the next day with less emotional reactivity.

Finally, meditation appears to decrease multiple markers of stress, including cortisol and blood pressure. It's also been associated with improvements in anxiety. Studies have consistently shown that these meditative practices are linked to structural changes in the brain.
4. Refocus
While it's helpful to consider methods of reframing, accepting, or recalibrating your response to uncertainty, it's sometimes necessary to engage in quick refocus. To this end, you can switch your attention from the daunting lack of clarity in long-term planning to predictable, short-term outcomes. Instead of worrying about the fate of the stock market, plan and execute a quick exercise circuit. In place of fretting over potential travel restrictions next month, strategize a movie night with the family or schedule a phone call with a friend. This is all about small, guaranteed victories. When these are added up, they can offset the larger uncertainty.
5. Reset
At this moment, many things are outside our control. Typical routines, interactions, and financial stabilities have become distorted or even dissolved. Our health and the well-being of the people we care about can seem tenuous. Mental wellness is battered when uncertainty shakes our psychological foundations.

Here, then, is a time to look deeply at our internal philosophy and drill down to the bedrock. Regardless of the changes happening around us, we retain the ability to choose how we respond. In this trying time, we benefit from the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, "life is what you make it."

Yes, we are unsure, scared, and anxious. At the moment, there aren't many easy answers to the virus or to its expanding ripple effects on mental health. But we should remember that despite this, there are a number of tools we can use to support psychological health, and benefiting from this information is as simple as finding even one strategy that works for you.

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5 Strategies for Managing Uncertainty During COVID-19

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In the space of just a few months, the 2019 coronavirus disease (COVID-19) altered the global landscape. Billions of people are confined to their homes. As the infection flouts state and national borders, the world is unified in battle against an unseen but deadly foe. The direct consequences of the virus grow by the day.

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With the ever-changing status of schools and many parents working from home without childcare for the foreseeable future, it's hard not to start spiraling. Responsibilities seem endless, the situation dire, and it seems like time to yourself has become a thing of the past...

Take a deep breath. Literally. Feel a little better?

These are trying times, but incorporating mindful practices into your daily routine can help calm anxiety and build healthy coping skills. Here are some tips from our clinicians on making mindfulness work for you and your family.

Being mindful is what it sounds like. Taking time to focus on the present, being intentional and thoughtful about where you are and how you are feeling. Trying to center your thoughts and be in the moment. Sounds simple, but it takes work, especially now when concerns about what the future holds feel so pressing. Mindful activities can help. "Mindfulness isn't complicated," says Jill Emanuele, PhD, Senior Director of the Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute. Here are some simple activities she recommends:

Squeeze Muscles: Starting at your toes, pick one muscle and squeeze it tight. Count to five. Release, and notice how your body changes. Repeat exercise moving up your body.

Belly Breathing: Put one hand on your stomach and one hand on your chest. Slowly breathe in from your stomach (expand like a balloon) and slowly breathe out (deflate).

Mindful Meal: Pay attention to the smell, taste and look of your food. No multitasking.

Meditation: Sit in a relaxed, comfortable position. Pick something to focus on, like your breath. When your mind wanders, bring your attention back to your breath.

Blowing Bubbles: Notice their shapes, textures and colors.

Coloring: Color something. Focus on the colors and designs.

Listening to Music: Focus on the whole song, or listen specifically to the voice or an instrument.

Right now much of the personal time that used to be part of our daily routines - commutes, time alone at home, going to the store - is not available. This means it's extra important to be intentional about creating space to recharge. Deciding to set time aside each day to practice mindful activities is a great place to start, says Dr. Emanuele. "The morning, before everyone is awake, can be a great time to really ground yourself." Morning mindfulness can help set the tone for the day. "Do deep breathing, meditate, exercise, whatever mindfulness activity works for you," she recommends. Mindfulness doesn't have to be elaborate: "You can try mindful eating or mindful drinking with a cup of coffee. Sit there and just be in the moment. That's mindfulness. Taking five minutes to do that before the day begins is even more important now because this is not our typical routine and we're going to feel very, very out of sorts."

Right now it can feel like trying to do ten things at once is the only way anything will get done. For example, trying to fold laundry, make dinner and watch your child all while on a work call.

But, explains Joanna Stern, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, multitasking rarely works, and can actually increase stress. "Multitasking is a myth," says Dr. Stern. Instead, she suggests achievable goals for the day, trying to focus on one thing at a time. For example, scheduling work calls during naptime, allowing kids to have a little extra screen time while you make dinner, or asking older children to help fold the laundry while you finish cleaning up.

Mindfulness, explains David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, is "Anything that helps everyone take a moment to slow down, stay present, and come together." Designating time to practice mindful activities as a family will help everyone feel less anxious. It could be a daily family yoga session, or a quiet walk in the woods as a group, taking time to focus on the way the air feels, the sound of the birds and the smell of the trees. Another good family mindfulness idea is asking everyone to mention one good thing they heard or saw that day over dinner.

This situation is one of extreme uncertainty. We don't know what will happen, how long it will last or what things will be like when it's over. One thing we do know, however, is that worrying about it won't change the outcome. Learning how to tolerate the uncertainty is a huge part of building healthy coping skills for ourselves, which we then want to model for our children. "Right now it's very easy to let your brain spin out with the frightening possibilities," warns Dr. Anderson. "Practicing mindfulness helps bring us back to the present, and away from the brink."

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How Mindfulness Can Help During COVID-19 - Child Mind Institute

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With the ever-changing status of schools and many parents working from home without childcare for the foreseeable future, it's hard not to start spiraling. Responsibilities seem endless, the situation dire, and it seems like time to yourself has become a thing of the past... Take a deep breath. Literally.

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How stress can change your brain

Yale professor explains ways a pandemic can affect mental health

For months, the nation has been assaulted by an invisible enemy that has the upper hand. The stress of the COVID-19 pandemic has many wondering, how is this affecting the mental health of the populace?

At their best, Americans are feeling distracted, forgetful, disorganized and helpless. At their worst, there are highly publicized incidents of deniers who have screaming meltdowns in stores when they are told to wear masks.

Dr. Amy Arnsten, professor of neuroscience and psychology at Yale University in New Haven, said all psychiatric disorders have a neurobiological basis. In short, it isn't psychological weakness, it's a prefrontal cortex overloaded with chemicals.

"If you understand the neurology behind it, you feel forgiveness for yourself. It's self-freeing. It allows you to be better," Arnsten said. "There is no difference between a mental-health issue and a neurological issue."

Arnsten spoke with The Courant in a phone interview from her home in Bethany.

Are people acting in ways that reflect the change in their brains?

You really see this in some places. Connecticut is doing so well. It's really a "prefrontal" state. A simple way of saying that is, being thoughtful. You see states, where there's been poor leadership and people are encouraged to be reactive rather than thoughtful, where so many people are dying, where people say just go out and party, don't wear a mask, just do what you want to do, don't be thoughtful about consequences. They want the right to act like that even though it kills others.

Can you give some behavioral examples?

The prefrontal cortex controls wisdom and judgment. When it goes "offline," these primitive brain circuits control who we are. We can get angry very easily. We can say things that we later regret to people we love. Anger can get the best of us. Rather than being thoughtful, you yell at a store clerk and throw groceries in his face.

Is this change in brain chemicals from stress ever useful?

Yes. It can orchestrate a response in an unconscious, primitive way. It could save your life if what is stressing you is that you are suddenly being cut off on the highway. You stop thinking about your plans for going to a party on Saturday night and slam on the brakes really fast. But if the stressor is an invisible virus, losing your prefrontal function is extraordinarily unhelpful and more dangerous.

Why does the stress from the pandemic feel uncontrollable?

This has been studied in families. If a child feels a parent is in control, even though something terrible is happening, the kid is OK. Part of what is so stressful right now is the feeling there's no parent in the room taking charge of this pandemic, so we're all at the mercy of this random destruction. ... Our current government makes us feel out of control, and that is the exact thing that increases the stress response and impairs our prefrontal function. That's an uncontrollable stress.

Can long-term uncontrollable stress cause permanent change?

Yes. With chronic stress, along with the chemical changes there are architectural changes, where you lose the connections between brain cells and the prefrontal cortex. Research on young rats indicates that with sufficient time spent being non-stressed, connections grow back. We didn't see that in old rats. Resilience seems to be age-dependent, but maybe we need to wait longer.

How can people control their stress and reduce the chemicals in the brain?

Exercise if you can. Get that oxygen. Eat healthy. Get plenty of sleep. Those things truly matter. The prefrontal cortex is the Goldilocks of the brain. It likes to have everything just right. It's also good to help other people. It makes you feel better yourself. Listen to your favorite music. Give yourself experiences of beauty. ... In Connecticut, we can still find beautiful places where it's still safe and you can socially distance, a walk in the woods. So often people don't think to give these things to themselves. Try to be your own cheerleader.

Are there wrong ways to control stress?

I think a very natural thing to do, but that ends up being counterproductive, is abusing substances. Alcohol makes you feel better for a little bit, but in the long run, it makes you feel worse. The same thing goes for drugs. And the same thing goes for eating a lot of fattening foods, then you hate yourself and eat more. It's the same old same old as with the non-pandemic, but now it's often intensified, because there you are home alone with your refrigerator.

Susan Dunne can be reached at sdunne@courant.com.

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How stress can change your brain Yale professor explains ways a pandemic can affect mental health For months, the nation has been assaulted by an invisible enemy that has the upper hand. The stress of the COVID-19 pandemic has many wondering, how is this affecting the mental health of the populace?

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COVID-19

Amparo Aguilera puts a protective face mask on her grandchild Kilian in Igualada, Spain April 26, 2020 Image: REUTERS/Nacho Doce - RC2GCG90NK6P

Director Emeritus, Chief Executives for Corporate Purpose (CECP)

Mental Health & Psychosocial Support Specialist, UNICEF

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COVID-19 is hurting children's mental health. Here's how to help

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COVID-19 Amparo Aguilera puts a protective face mask on her grandchild Kilian in Igualada, Spain April 26, 2020 Image: REUTERS/Nacho Doce - RC2GCG90NK6P Director Emeritus, Chief Executives for Corporate Purpose (CECP) Mental Health & Psychosocial Support Specialist, UNICEF Stay up to date: COVID-19 Follow Don't miss any update on this topic Create a free account and access your personalized content collection with our latest publications and analyses.

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Every Tuesday and Thursday

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Coach Paul's Adaptive Online Gym Classes are great for kids of all ages and abilities! Proudly and Collaboratively Presented by Oak Hill and Miracle League o...

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Resources Letter from Child Advocate Sarah Eagan

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Resources Letter from Child Advocate Sarah Eagan

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Soon to be released...Claudia Gold, M.D. & Ed Tronick, Ph.D.

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Dr. Ed Tronick is a developmental and clinical psychologist known for the famous " The Still Face Experiment." Dr. Claudia M. Gold is a pediatrician and writer. Their book, , is original look at how to foster connection, trust, and resilience. They explain why working through discord is the key to better relationships.

Dr. Gold and Dr. Tronick answered some questions about the importance of relationships during these uncertain times.
What is the meaning of the title: The Power of Discord: Why the Ups and Downs of Relationships are the Secret to Building Intimacy, Resilience, and Trust?
In our work the term for "ups and downs" is "mismatch and repair." The core idea of the book is that discord is not only okay but essential because it gives us the opportunity for repair. All interactions are messy. We constantly misunderstand each other's intentions. When we move through a moment of mismatch to repair, we feel connected to the other person. We grow to trust them. We create something new between us. The experience of repair lets us know that we do not need to get stuck in a negative feeling.
What lessons does your book offer for navigating the COVID-19 pandemic?
In our earliest relationships, we develop trust and a sense of belonging through countless moment-to-moment messy interactions. Now, when the world feels so fundamentally frightening, preserving a sense of safety is paramount. Everyone will find their own unique way to navigate the fear and uncertainty. Some by necessity put themselves and their families at risk simply by going to work. For those who stay home, some stick to rigid schedules while others meander through the day. Some feel better being productive while others surrender to hours of movies and cartoons both for themselves and for their children. It's all OK. But whatever path we take, we must find a way to connect. In moment-to-moment interactions in relationships with people we love, we can preserve the sense of calm that we need to not only survive, but to move forward to whatever comes next.
We are living in a time when the world feels unsafe. What does your book tell us about finding a sense of safety?
Safety comes in the context of relationships. Spending time with people we trust, whether in person or virtually, can help us to feel calm. This sense of safety occurs not only in our thinking minds, but also in our bodies. Trusting relationships can help us navigate periods of intense stress and uncertainty.
How does your model of development help us understand and treat emotional suffering?
Our culture tends to name various kinds of emotional suffering as fixed entities. But our research shows that our emotional health develops in a process over time. On one end of the spectrum, robust interactions of mismatch and repair lead a person to experience the world as safe and filled with people who can be trusted. At the other extreme, if experience of repair is lacking, fear and mistrust inform a person's understanding of himself and the world around him. The two extremes help us make sense of the more typical experiences that fall somewhere in between.

And early patterns of relationships are not "baked in the cake." Our brain changes through a process called "neuroplasticity" throughout our lives. Just as our sense of selves in the world develops over countless early interactions, it takes countless new interactions over time, in a wide range of new and different relationships, to move from emotional suffering to emotional health.
If relationships are so important to our emotional development, how can we stop from placing blame when things go wrong?
Each partner in a relationship has a role to play. We move through moments of "repair" like people in a dance. Only unlike Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, it's more like Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey. We step on each other's toes. This issue of blame is particularly problematic when it comes to our culture's treatment of parents. Parenting comes with a hefty dose of guilt already without a need to blame anyone. We came up with the idea of the "good-enough baby" to pair with the "good-enough mother" to capture the way that parent and baby go through countless messy interactions as they figure each other out. When problems occur, as they inevitably do, it's no more the parent's "fault" than it is the baby's "fault."
How does the still-face paradigm help us manage our reliance on technology?
Many people who learn of the still-face experiment raise a concern that our cultural reliance on social media has created a prolonged still-face experience for infants and children. But as we explain in the book, the still-face is different from a parent on a cell phone. In the still-face the infant has no way to make sense of the situation, while a parent on a cellphone is distracted as they would be on an old-fashioned phone. What matters is the nature of accumulated face-to-face interactions. The still-face experiment, in which the baby goes from distress to pleasure in an instant in the repair episode, highlights how we can overcome the stress of a moment of disconnection.
What implications does your book have for the tremendous political discord we are currently experiencing in our country?
The divisive and tumultuous last years in politics have arisen out of a deep sense by many in our country that they don't belong. We develop a sense of belonging by engaging in messy moment-to-moment interactions with people close to us. Development is a lifelong process through which each of us learns to belong to many different groups, including, but certainly not limited to professional, religious, geographic - even the changing culture of a growing family.

People today are dangerously polarized. When we allow for the discord to happen, we can find a way to meet each other. In moving through the inevitable mismatch that differences engender, the power of the repair gives us potential for greatness.

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Finding Strength In Discord During These Uncertain Times

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Dr. Ed Tronick is a developmental and clinical psychologist known for the famous " The Still Face Experiment." Dr. Claudia M. Gold is a pediatrician and writer. Their book, , is original look at how to foster connection, trust, and resilience. They explain why working through discord is the key to better relationships.

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During National Poetry Month in 2020, we asked our readers to share a poem from our Poets.org collection that helped them find courage, solace, and actionable energy, and a few words about how or why it does so. Responses arrived from across the globe, and we invite you to continue sharing poems on social media with the hashtag #ShelterInPoems or by on twitter, facebook, or instagram. The month culminated in a Shelter in Poems live event, which was free and open to the public.

Read the full anthology of poems featured in the reading.

" My Daughter's First Week" by Gennady Aygi
the quietness / where the child is-...

" Gennady Aygi (1934-2006) is a poet I often turn to. He's brilliantly mysterious, not a poet of easy wisdom; his sort of depth is needed greatly at times like these-verbal and emotional complexity, not bromides. I only know his work through translation of course, but Peter France's renderings of his poems are marvelous. Since we have a new grandchild, the gentle poem 'My Daughter's First Week' spoke to me with all that is at risk."
-Brenda Hillman, Chancellor of the Academy of American Poets

"I find this poem extremely comforting in our time. Most nights, I sit on the veranda of my flat and look at the stars in their brilliance and the crescent moon slowly going down in its yellowing glow. Olivia's poem gives solace to a troubled soul. The images of nature that it evokes are so true to me and assuring in such times of great anxiety. Running in a parallel fashion of the rising sun and human development, the poem's description of both courses of life is really of great relief to me in the crisis that surrounds us the world over."
- Wampembe L., Zambia.

"Both of these poems look from two sides at the changed world we now live in-Ryan summons the way much still, for many of us, continues as if things were the same, when they surely are not; Baldwin stands directly inside the question of how to bear whatever intensity we must. These poems, both mortally serious yet also comic, bring, for me, a side-buttressing assistance."
-Jane Hirshfield, Poem-a-Day Guest Editor for December 2020.

"This poem, which both separates and merges the real and the imagined, folding and unfolding, is never far from my mind. During these extraordinary days in which we find ourselves enclosed, the capacity to hold nature in the mind, to revisit light by means of the Muse-by which I mean the Imagination-is a crucial and beautiful human gift. It offers shelter. Be well, everyone."
-Dana Levin, Poem-a-Day Guest Editor for March 2020

" Social Distancing" by Juan Felipe Herrera with design by Anthony Cody.
grocery bags have a tendency to wobble...

"The solar circle poem can be read in any direction, or simultaneously with various voices at a 'distance,' or it can be cut out and spun like a wheel. You choose where to begin and end."
- Juan Felipe Herrera, former U.S. Poet Laureate

"This poem has always meant a great deal to me. One of the world's most revered writers, Turkish poet Hikmet was imprisoned for a good part of his life due to his radical ideas, his poetry, and his publication efforts. This poem describes the love of the very simplest elements of sky, stars, air, and the love of life itself upon being released from a long time in isolation. He wrote this poem of gratitude, nostalgia, and awe in Moscow, April 1962. He died in June 1963. I believe he left this poem as a gift for us all."
-Tina Chang, Poet Laureate of Brooklyn

" Part of Eve's Discussion " by Marie Howe

"This poem might seem an odd choice for inspiration, but for me, what I need in times of strife is a reminder of the truth of uncertainty, and at least a reference to survival. I can't bear false hope, unfounded hope. Howe's images are so sure, I feel them in my own body. Her last line describes, to me, the lives of all women-precarious-yet here we are, surviving. That's what I need to hear."
-Molly Fisk, Poet Laureate Fellow. Read the full poem on Poets.org.

"'Disclosure' is clear and kind. It guides. Its truth is hard, but Jones patiently reminds us that language is a shelter. How we need it to survive. In this virus time, when we don't want to hear, can't hear, vomit what we hear, Jones says to us, I am here. She engenders a deepening person-to-person comprehension. I thank Camisha L. Jones."
-Mary A.

" The Layers" by Stanley Kunitz
I have walked through many lives..."I return to 'The Layers' by Stanley Kunitz at times of sadness and grief. He reminds me once again to embrace my losses, to understand that they are as much a part of me as my triumphs."
- Lee R.

" The New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame...

"This poem actually changed the meaning of the Statue of Liberty, which originally had nothing to do with immigration. The poem redefines America as a 'nation of immigrants,' and allows us to think of ourselves as great not because we are warriors, but because we are generous and welcoming. This was its meaning when my grandparents came here at the turn of the twentieth century, and it is still the meaning for many millions of Americans."
-Alicia Ostriker, Chancellor of the Academy of American Poets.

"This is a poem I always return to. It is a reminder to live with intention-to re-evaluate those intentions from time to time, and to take care of one another. Remember, everyone is going through this."
- Tari S.

"When I walk these days and watch the trees I think how lucky they are. I look to them with the eyes of a child asking how to be so rooted, so patient, ever reaching up. They are the closest thing to hope I can find."
- Katherine S., Connecticut

"In this poem, I recognize that showing up for each other-to see and feel and empathize with both the difficult and the beautiful-is the crux of this thing. As part of the recovery community, I've learned how important it is to live each moment, one day at a time, not only for myself but for the greater community. Although it's easy today to feel overwhelmed by anxiety and suffering, reaching towards others is always a worthwhile endeavor."
- S. M., Switzerland.

"This is a poem that I find a sense of home with. It reminds me of how important representation is, which is something I needed to hear among a personal struggle with identity. It means a lot to know I'm not alone."
- Monisha K., New South Wales, Australia

"One of my favorite free sonnets is the third poem in a wonderful sequence called 'Twenty-One Love Poems' by Adrienne Rich. Every time I read 'Poem III,' the last couplet never fails to zap me with the hard truth about our fragile existence and how in times of crisis, we need each other more than ever: And somehow each of us will help the other live / And somewhere, each of us must help the other die."
- Marilyn Chin, Chancellor of the Academy of American Poets

"This poem serves as a reminder of the necessity to wake up and take action-even when COVID-19 is looming all around us. Even when it seems like our purpose in life is significantly declining amidst this sheltering in, the one thing we can do is make sure we never lose sight of what needs to be done in order to guarantee a safe future for everyone."
- Leslie R. G.

"Always, I know a larger refuge in Patricia Smith's voice, which marks that essential line between grief and grievance. This can be a time of fear, for everyone, and especially for Asian Pacific Islander Americans and immigrants, our ears straining for any news which might heave of those we love but cannot see. Patricia reminds us that if we feel we could 'perish,' to remember too we are still 'wildly fragrant, curious land.' Smith's language, drenched with mercy and succor, is a courage in poetry as vital to me as my own air: all we can be now is here, and here, at least in poetry, we can hear the word heal in a voice brought home."
- Sasha Pimentel, Poem-a-Day Guest Editor for October 2020

"I chose this poem hoping that somewhere high up, birds are picking up the first signs of the current crisis dissipating before a new spring."
- Martin M.

"I read 'The Flower at My Window' to my 92-year-old mother and tears filled her eyes. It seemed to put into words her experience of the world at the moment, the sweet little things that life makes available. It created a bridge between our hearts. Beautiful and simple."
- Rangeeni.

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During National Poetry Month in 2020, we asked our readers to share a poem from our Poets.org collection that helped them find courage, solace, and actionable energy, and a few words about how or why it does so.

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Professional Development Opportunity

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Steven Hickman, Psy.D., executive director of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion, offers this timely perspective on managing our new virtual reality.

I've been teaching mindfulness and compassion for about twenty years now, and I believe I thrive when I'm sitting with a group of people open to exploring this transformative practice. Friends and family have known me to "come alive" when I am teaching and I feel a familiar surge of excitement and animation when I have those opportunities. But the other day, a colleague invited me to co-teach a short compassion session online with her. I deeply appreciated the invitation but immediately declined because I just haven't felt like a teacher since this virus invaded our lives. I've worked my tail off in other ways, but something had me holding back from teaching. I knew in my bones that I couldn't do this, but that made me curious.

I've spent hours in Zoom meetings of various sorts the past couple weeks, connected with dear friends in China, Australia, England, Israel, Spain, Singapore, Canada, Switzerland and Croatia (to name just a few). I have felt joy arising to see the faces and hear the voices of people whose faces and voices I first encountered when we were breathing the same air, standing in the same physical space, each (in Dan Siegel's term) "feeling felt" by the other. And so it was nice to be with them electronically in this age of social distancing and sheltering in place.

And that was it, it was nice.

I've been so busy lately that I thought perhaps I was just fatigued. But the more it happens, the more I realize that I end up feeling both connected but disconnected to these dear people. And I have heard multiple accounts of therapists doing tele-therapy and sharing how exhausted they feel after several sessions online.

Zoom Exhaustion Is Real

There is a different quality to our attention when we are online. We are hyper-focused on the few available visual cues that we normally gather from a full range of available body language. Or perhaps, we are totally distracted and checking email while we are supposed to be conversing or listening intently to a colleague's detailed presentation. If we are with several people online at the same time, we are simultaneously processing visual cues from all of those people (and perhaps a handful of their pets and children too!) in a way we never have to do around a conference table. It is a stimulus-rich environment, but just like rich desserts, sometimes too rich is just too much.

If we are with several people online at the same time, we are simultaneously processing visual cues from all of those people in a way we never have to do around a conference table.

And when we start to be over-stimulated by extraneous data that we haven't had to process in the physical world, each new data point pushes us just a little bit farther away from the human-to-human connection that we all crave and appreciate. Italian management professor Gianpiero Petriglieri recently tweeted "It's easier being in each other's presence, or in each other's absence, than in the constant presence of each other's absence." So beautifully and eloquently perceptive!

The constant presence of my colleagues' absence may have been underlying my disinclination to do what I love on this platform that has become a lifeline for so many of us. And so, the question arises for me: Is there some way to ease the burden of this "disconnected connection" and allow me to foster a better balance of connection between us?

Six Ways to Manage Zoom so we Can Find Balance and Connection

Here's what I am going to try starting today (and suggest you consider) when my new reality resumes anew and I find myself on various calls with all manner of people looking to connect in various ways:

Take a few moments before clicking "Start" to settle and ground your attention. Take a few breaths, feel your body on the chair, notice whatever is present in your mind and allow yourself to arrive fully to the moment at hand. If you're feeling unsettled or preoccupied, you might place your hand on your heart in a supportive and comforting way as if to say "I'm here for you. It's ok to feel how you feel at this moment."

Take the time to truly greet whoever is in the room with your full attention-offer your attention to each face that appears (if the group is not too big). Give yourself a moment for each person to make an impression on you, and "take in the good" as Rick Hanson would say. Give yourself an opportunity to feel what it feels like to be in the presence of another.

Choose "speaker view." In Zoom, one can choose Speaker View or Gallery View, and I think I prefer Speaker View so that the one person who is speaking has more of my attention and the others are more peripheral. This seems to be more like sitting around a conference table where we are aware of everyone there but we direct our attention primarily to whoever is speaking. Tracking an array of 24 (or more) faces on the screen can be a challenge!

Resist the urge to multitask. I sheepishly have to admit that I am a multi-tasker on Zoom many times and have been known to read and fire off several emails while also sitting in a meeting. This has got to stop. Not because I need to hyper-focus on just what is happening in the meeting, but because I can't be putting additional effort into attending to anything else. If anything, I need to let go of a bit of "efforting" and let my attention rest more lightly and lovingly on what (and who) is before me. I can periodically ease up my focus and look out the window behind my screen, or at the knick-knacks on the shelves in my office, or just soften my gaze to take in the array of faces on my screen (to see without looking) without having to analyze or scrutinize any of them.

Try to take measured breaks between sessions. As a clinical psychologist, when I used to do psychotherapy, I was fairly good at enforcing a 50-minute hour. That gave me ten minutes to write notes, run to the restroom, get a drink of water and generally settle and decompress. Quite often my Zoom meetings run back to back and I find that sometimes my Zoom room becomes a kind of random encounter anteroom where people from various aspects of my personal and professional life bump into each other for a few moments on their way in and out of a meeting with me. Fun as these moments are sometimes, I need to take better care of my precious attention and energy, and take a refreshing pause. Why not give that a try yourself?

And finally, remind yourself periodically that this is a new place between presence and absence that we will have to learn how to accommodate as we go forward into the uncertain future. It is both better than absence (imagine life in a pandemic without FaceTime, Zoom, Skype and the rest) and not quite as resonant as presence (do we know if mirror neurons still function over the internet like they do in person?). Let's see if we can simultaneously refrain from high expectations without dismissing the clear benefits of online communication.

And let's not forget those benefits. We can have important meetings while only dressed appropriately from the waist up. Our beloved pets can be perched lovingly in our laps while we review our colleague's budget projections. If we are the host of the meeting we can "accidentally" mute or remove a colleague in a way that would never be socially appropriate in person. We can even feign a poor connection if the meeting is getting so deadly dull that we are in danger of nodding off and striking our heads on our keyboards.

But on a serious note, let's not dismiss this amazing technology, but instead learn to find a way to assimilate it into a full spectrum of interpersonal experiences that our new lives include. Let's be present to absence, without becoming absent to presence. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it to develop this new capacity.

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Zoom Exhaustion is Real. Here Are Six Ways to Find Balance and Stay Connected

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Steven Hickman, Psy.D., executive director of the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion, offers this timely perspective on managing our new virtual reality. I've been teaching mindfulness and compassion for about twenty years now, and I believe I thrive when I'm sitting with a group of people open to exploring this transformative practice.

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Unlocking Us

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Surviving this crisis will take a shift in mindset, and that’s tougher than we think - especially when we’re afraid. 

Fear and anxiety can drive us to become very self-focused. This global pandemic...

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Head Start Early Learning and Knowledge Center

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Head Start Early Learning and Knowledge Center

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Powerful messages for families using Facebook and Twitter...

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Supporting Families in Uncertain Times: Social Media Messages | ECLKC

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Partnerships between Head Start and Early Head Start families and their programs are important. Connecting with parents through social media is one way to let them know your program cares and you are still there for them. It shows families that you stand ready to partner with them around their interests, needs, and goals.

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Talk it Out...a warm line for Connecticut families!

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Talk it Out...a warm line for Connecticut families!

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DCF, in collaboration with the United Way and our community providers have developed this line. The intent was to have another resource for families who are feeling stressed and overwhelmed during this time and would like to outreach and speak to someone. We want to emphasize for any families that may be nervous, that this is NOT a DCF line nor are DCF staff involved with speaking to the families. Callers do not have to give their name, the line is not recorded and it operates similar to when you call 211. DCF stated that “the intent of the Talk it Out line is support. Giving parents an opportunity to simply have someone to talk with when they are having a hard time.”

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Connecticut Department of Children & Families

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Talk it Out Public Service Announcement     Call 1-833-258-5011  or Visit www.TalkItOutCT.com

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Helping Children with Autism Understand Face Masks

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Helping Children with Autism Understand Face Masks

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Resources for Parents of Children with Intellectual or Other Developmental Disabilities

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Resources for Parents of Children with Intellectual or Other Developmental Disabilities

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COVID 19 Resources in CT

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As we all grapple with the uncertain implications of COVID-19, the physical and mental health and safety of our staff, partners, families, and communities across the state are of paramount importance.

CHDI staff are working remotely, and can be reached by email. A list of CHDI staff email addresses can be found here.

CHDI, and our parent organization (the Children's Fund of Connecticut), have also compiled a limited list of information and resources for our partners and the public, which will be periodically updated as new information becomes available.*

The State of Connecticut and the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), as well as your local health departments have the latest COVID-19 updates, resources and valuable health information.

DONATIONS AND VOLUNTEERS

We ask that if you have personal protection equipment supplies, please consider donating them to health care workers as there is a critical shortage of supplies. Connecticut is also recruiting medical volunteers and non-medical volunteers to help respond to this crisis.
HEALTH AND SAFETY INFORMATION ECONOMIC SUPPORT & FEDERAL RELIEF INFORMATION

The Connecticut Department of Labor has information on unemployment, federal relief, and FAQs about coronavirus for workers and employers.

Senator Chris Murphy posted a comprehensive summary and FAQs of federal coronavirus relief to help workers, families, hospitals and their staff, small businesses, and the unemployed during this crisis. It includes information about direct payments, unemployment insurance, emergency leave, support for the State of Connecticut, small businesses, utility and nutrition assistance, housing, education, children and families, and more.

CT Voices for Children's "Q & A Blog Series" provides information about unemployment insurance, paid sick leave, and family medical leave in response to the COVID-19 pandemic and their coronavirus Crisis Response Report provides information on federal efforts to address the pandemic.

FOOD, LEGAL AID, AND SOCIAL SERVICES RESOURCES

2-1-1 Connecticut: Information and Resources to Help Communities #LiveUnited during the Coronavirus Pandemic. Families can also call 2-1-1 from any Connecticut phone or visit https://www.211ct.org/ to find local services and supports.

The Hartford Courant developed a list of Coronavirus crisis resources in Connecticut: From food to legal aid and housing.

Clifford Beers compiled a list of health, wellness, and community resources to support families during the coronavirus outbreak.

A poster with important crisis resources in Connecticut for housing, food, mental health, unemployment, internet, utilities, and more was developed by the Connecticut Commission on Children, Women, Seniors, Equity and Opportunity.

The Connecticut State Department of Education shared information on districts providing meals to enrolled students, as well as distribution sites for children that DO NOT have to be a resident to access meals.

Access Health CT can help families who have lost their health insurance determine if they qualify to enroll through a special enrollment period.

Greater Hartford Legal Aid attorneys and the other legal services programs in the state are posting resources at www.ctlawhelp.org .

The Center for Children's Advocacy's Medical-Legal Partnership Project is working with their clinical partners to provide legal assistance and consultations on cases involving the health-harming legal needs that effect the state's vulnerable children and families.

SUPPORTING CHILDREN'S EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING

Child Trends provides recommendations for supporting and protecting children's emotional well-being during COVID-19, as well as information on using the five Protective Factors to promote children's resilience to the COVID-19 pandemic.

National Child Traumatic Stress Network created a Parent/Caregiver Guide to Helping Families Cope With the Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19), available in English, Spanish and Chinese.

Yale Child Study Center created Coping during the COVID-19 Pandemic: Yale's Guide for Families with Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

The Village for Children and Families' mental health experts share COVID-19 resources and guidance for families on navigating the uncertainty and stressful disruptions in routine, schooling and employment caused by the pandemic.

Connecticut Children's School Closure Kit includes advice for families from pediatric experts on a variety of topics, including how to structure your child's day, engage them in learning, answer their coronavirus questions - and help your whole family stay calm.

The Jordan Porco Foundation's Check In At Home consists of six activities that will help reduce stress, get your body moving, and put you in a positive mindset.

Gizmo's Pawesome Guide to Mental Health is a great free resource from Prevent Suicide CT to help you and your kids with your sad, mad and worried feelings during this tough time. And, this link has fun activities you and your kids can do alone or together inside and outside. The book is available in English or Spanish (online or print copies).

Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University: A Guide to COVID-19 and Early Childhood Development includes ways caregivers can support early child development during the pandemic.

BEHAVIORAL HEALTH CRISIS RESOURCES

Connecticut's Mobile Crisis Intervention Services offers help from trained behavioral health clinicians for children in crisis by calling 2-1-1. Learn more at https://www.empsct.org/.

"Talk it Out CT" is a new hotline to help families relieve stress resulting from caring for children during the COVID-19 crisis. Trained professionals will listen and talk through concerns. If additional help is needed, they can make referrals to responsive programs including Mobile Crisis. The hotline is sponsored by the State of Connecticut in partnership with United Way of Connecticut. "When it build up talk it out." Call 1-833-258-5011 or visit talkitoutct.com.

PreventSuicideCT.org offers crisis and prevention resources. If you are in a crisis, call 2-1-1 in Connecticut or text CT to 741741 (free Crisis Text Line). If you live outside Connecticut call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services (DMHAS) provides crisis services for adults through local mental health authorities. DMHAS-funded emergency crisis intervention centers are located throughout the state.

SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline offers 24/7, 365-day-a-year crisis counseling and support for people experiencing emotional distress related to natural or human-caused disasters. Call 1-800-985-5990 or text TalkWithUs to 66746 to connect with a trained crisis counselor.

Hero Hotline - 888-217-HERO: CHR is providing a Free Hotline to Help Frontline Workers and Anyone Struggling with Ongoing Stress of the Coronavirus Crisis. The hotline is staffed by a professional trained in the treatment of Acute Stress Reaction and other conditions related to prolonged stress and anxiety.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE RESOURCES RESOURCES FOR PEDIATRIC HEALTH PROVIDERS
RESOURCES FOR CHILDREN'S BEHAVIORAL HEALTH PROVIDERS
RESOURCES FOR EDUCATORS AND SCHOOL MENTAL HEALTH PROVIDERS

The Connecticut State Department of Education's COVID-19 Resources for Families and Educators includes guidance, waivers and numerous helpful resources on distance learning, special education, nutrition, and other topics.

CHDI has launched a four-part School Mental Health newsletter series featuring resources to support the school community during COVID-19.

The National Center for School Mental Health at the University of Maryland has compiled an impressive list of COVID-19 Resources for school staff, administrators, students and parents.

"A trauma-informed approach to teaching through coronavirus - for students everywhere, online or not," published in the Washington Post and compiled by Teaching Tolerance with expert advice from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network.

Ci3T: Comprehensive, Integrated, Three-Tiered Model of Prevention is providing materials to support educators and families as they transition to a world of online and continuous learning during the COVID-19 pandemic. It includes a series of brief practice guides to support positive, productive environments for students, families, educators, and administrators.

Responding to COVID-19: School Mental Health Resources from the Mental Health Technology Transfer Center Network

RULER (Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence) created a Coronavirus Resources for School Communities webpage with articles, free webinars, and resources to help leaders, educators, students, and families build and sustain positive emotional climates.

The California Association of School Psychologists has compiled useful COVID-19 resources for psychologists, educators and families; including a Technology Checklist for School Telehealth Services and Pupil Personnel Services Check In Guidance Document (check list and flowchart).

RESOURCES FOR EARLY CARE AND EDUCATION PROVIDERS RESOURCES FOR FUNDERS AND NON-PROFITS *We recognize this is not a comprehensive list. These materials are provided for informational purposes only. CHDI does not endorse any particular affiliation which may appear on the provided resources.

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COVID-19: How can we be helpful during this crisis?

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As we all grapple with the uncertain implications of COVID-19, the physical and mental health and safety of our staff, partners, families, and communities across the state are of paramount importance. CHDI staff are working remotely, and can be reached by email. A list of CHDI staff email addresses can be found here.

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Poem by Jeff Foster

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LET YOURSELF REST

If you’re exhausted, rest.

If you don’t feel like starting a new project, don’t.

If you don’t feel the urge to make something new, 
just rest in the beauty of the old, the...

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Podcast

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1. All Episodes

2. COVID-19 Pandemic Repercussions during Pregnancy & Breastfeeding

MotherToBaby provides an update as of 4/8/20 on COVID-19 in pregnancy and breastfeeding. Maternal anxiety, depression, domestic violence, keeping prenatal appointments...New questions surrounding the effects the novel coronavirus has had on pregnant and breastfeeding women are answered as two teratogen information specialists (experts in exposures in pregnancy and breastfeeding) once again join host Chris Stallman, CGC.

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COVID-19 Pandemic Repercussions during Pregnancy & Breastfeeding

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MotherToBaby provides an update as of 4/8/20 on COVID-19 in pregnancy and breastfeeding. Maternal anxiety, depression, domestic violence, keeping prenatal appointments...New questions surrounding the effects the novel coronavirus has had on pregnant and breastfeeding women are answered as two teratogen information specialists (experts in exposures in pregnancy and breastfeeding) once again join host Chris Stallman, CGC.

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Jack Shonkoff, M.D. & David Williams, Ph.D.

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Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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A Guide to COVID-19 and Early Childhood Development - Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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The global response to Coronavirus Disease 2019 (COVID-19) has changed daily life in many ways for many people. Yet child development has not paused, and supporting children, families, and care providers of all kinds is as important as ever. In this guide, the Center on the Developing Child has gathered a number of resources and [...]

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Kathy Novak, LCSW

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Reflections from Kath_Grief and Loss_041520

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Facebook post

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I'm not sure who originally posted this, but I kinda love it. 💗

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Why is this virus here? What is it teaching us.

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New York City Early Childhood Mental Health Technical and Training Assistance Center

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New York City Early Childhood Mental Health Technical and Training Assistance Center

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New website launched!!!!

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COVID19 Resources - Marcé of North America

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Coronavirus Sanity Guide for Healthcare Workers Mindfulness Resources to Find Calm and Nourish Resilience Mindfulness App Speaking of Psychology: Managing Your Mental Health During COVID-19 Weekly online support group for women with anxiety due to COVID-19 Why Stress Baking and Cleaning Make You Less Anxious

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Coronavirus Resources for Early Childhood Professionals

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We know the work you do is too important to ever stop completely, and it's more challenging now than ever. We are here and ready to help the early childhood community be responsive to family needs during this challenging time.

LATEST RESOURCES

Your Professional Development

Regional Institutes will be hosted online. Check here for scheduling and availability. If you have immediate questions or needs, please contact us.

Community of Practice Facilitation will be hosted virtually to help you facilitate collaborative dialogues with you team to transform their practice and the field.

Continuing education units are free for ZERO TO THREE members and 50% off for non-members.

Member Connect continues to give ZERO TO THREE members peer support and resource exchange opportunities.

Your Self Care

Launching April 2020: Live mindfulness sessions with Maria Gehl, our in-house mindfulness guru. By taking care of ourselves and each other, we will be able to better care for babies.

For Families You Serve

Best Practices During a Crisis

Resources for Health Professionals from HealthySteps The HealthySteps National Office is monitoring COVID-19 policies and practices relevant to pediatric primary care offices, i.e., telehealth, resources for family needs and self-care for health professionals, and more.

Tell Congress

Share Your Story. Tell us what you need.

Share your joys and challenges with us as you care for yourself, the families you serve, and others. And let us know what resources would be helpful to have. We're here to listen, support, and strengthen our community.

Stay In Touch

Sign up to receive the latest coronavirus information and resources for professionals.

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Coronavirus Resources for Early Childhood Professionals

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We know the work you do is too important to ever stop completely, and it's more challenging now than ever. We are here and ready to help the early childhood community be responsive to family needs during this challenging time. Regional Institutes will be hosted online. Check here for scheduling and availability.

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Early Childhood Education Distance Learning Guidance

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Guidance for Early Childhood Educators for Distance learning. RESC Alliance Series docx

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www.mindfulschools.org

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Make a Gift Today
We've kicked off our annual fundraising campaign and we hope we can count on your support. Make a statement about the kind of community you want to live in and the future you want to see

Take Five: Classroom Activity
One of the great things about mindfulness is that it helps us insert pauses throughout the day. Try this Take Five exercise and print a poster for your classroom.

Mindful Communication, December 7
Discover tools and insights of nonviolent communication and the science of nervous system regulation to create more trust, cooperation, and collaboration.

We empower school teams to build upon their unique strengths to achieve their community's vision of wellness.

Our team of classroom teachers, administrators, and implementation specialists draws from lived experiences and expertise to design programs that are impactful and relevant for educators.

"Mindful Schools is our go-to organization when it comes to training and resources-- what we do, how we do it, and why we do it. We were searching for that, literally for years."

- Robert Caplinger, Elementary School Principal
Laveen, AZ

Schools are facing a mental health crisis, with anxiety, stress, and burnout at record levels. But it doesn't have to be this way. We take an integrated approach to create healthy school cultures in which every person feels valued, engaged, and ready to learn.
Ready to build resilient schools and districts?

Over 70,000 educators have started their mindfulness journey in a Mindful Schools workshop and 101 course. View our Program Catalog, explore upcoming programs, and join us in nurturing a new generation of leaders to create a more equitable and thriving world.

LIMITED OFFERINGS

New Year Retreat
Learn About Retreat
Sat, Jan 27, 2024

Virtual Mindfulness Retreat
8AM-1PM PT / 11AM-4PM ET
Registration Deadline: Jan 25

201 Live Intensive
Learn About 201 Live Intensive
July 2024

Join this powerful, 2-week live experience of our 201: Mindfulness in the Classroom course over the summer when you have more dedicated time to dive into the richness of the course content.

Communicate for a Change

Wed, Feb 28

Virtual Workshop:
1PM-2:30PM PT | 4PM-5:30PM ET

Disrupt communication habits that leave educators and students feeling drained and disconnected. Learn to shift this dynamic and build more authentic connection. Learn more.

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Mindful Schools | An Integrated Approach to Create Equitable and Joyful School Culture

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We help educators create equitable and joyful learning environments that center collective well-being. Mindful Schools has trained over 70,000 educators. What's New at Mindful Schools Make a Gift Today We've kicked off our annual fundraising campaign and we hope we can count on your support.

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Fred Rogers Center for Early Learning and Children's Media

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Fred Rogers Center for Early Learning and Children's Media

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St. Vincent College

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Fred Rogers Center for Early Learning & Children's Media

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During uncertain times, it may be difficult to know what to do or to say to children. As Fred Rogers said, it is your being there that matters most. "Being there" may look different for each caregiver and child and it may look different each day. Here are some considerations as you care for yourself and children. Remember, you know yourself and the children in your life best.

Trust Yourself. Fred Rogers believed that what children need is deep and simple - they need an adult who cares for them, accepts them wholly, and gives them space to wonder. During these times when everything may seem uncertain and ever changing, we can easily get swept up in trying to make every moment "perfect" or "normal." It is important to remember that even brief, high-quality loving moments with children help to build their sense of trust in you and in themselves.

Honor Solitude: Solitude is important for children and their helpers to understand their inner stories and the world around them. For young children, solitude might mean being near a loved one. Older children may seek aloneness in their room or in another part of the house. As an adult, you may also need some time to yourself and that is ok.

Share Feelings: You and your children may have many feelings in response to the coronavirus. Fred Rogers reminds us that "Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary." Let your child know that their feelings are always safe with you, whether they are feeling worried, angry, sad, or anything at all.

Connect with Others: We can still connect with others in a time of social isolation. Children can talk, sing, dance, and play with family and friends on the phone or with an online video tool. Caregivers can also reach out to others to check in, share resources, and encourage one another. Sometimes the world can look so big that it is hard to know where to start to connect with others. It is times like this when the words of Fred Rogers ring true: "The deep and simple is far more essential than the shallow and complex." Even the simplest acts of kindness, compassion, and empathy are felt so deeply in times of uncertainty.

The Fred Rogers Centers' Dr. Dana Winters and colleagues at UNESCO, Dr. Mark Brennan and Dr. Pat Dolan, wrote a piece published in USA Today. The authors draw on the message of Fred Rogers and remind us that no act of kindness, compassion, and empathy is too small to bring comfort and healing to those around us. Click HERE to read.

: The Harvard Graduate School of education has compiled resources about thriving at home and creating human connections. On this site, you can listen to Richard Weissburg, a senior lecturer at Harvard GSOE, talk about supporting one another in times of crisis. Click to listen.

Neighborhood Projects: Many communities are uniting around collaborative projects in their local neighborhoods. For example, people are hanging lights, having children write hopeful messages, setting up grocery shopping chains, creating music, and more. Participating in a group effort may decrease feelings of isolation and increase feelings of control for children and adults. Reach out to others in your neighborhood to bring something like this to your community.

Reach Out. Thinking of creative ways to reach out and give to others may be another way to connect during this time of social isolation. Some families are writing cards to healthcare workers or grocery store employees. Others are sending messages to family and friends that live alone. You and your children can come up with ideas that you can do together.

Prioritize Health & Hygiene: Caring for yourself and your child also includes taking care of our bodies. Showing children how to wash their hands to protect their body from illness and talking about why you are staying home to protect others from illness are important lessons for children. You are teaching children the skills to care for themselves and that every single person is valuable. Here are resources about talking to your children about health and hygiene related to coronavirus.

Empower Children: Help your child know that you and the adults in their life are protecting them, and that doctors and nurses and scientists are taking care of people who are sick and working to find ways to keep everyone safe. While children need to know it is not their job to stop or fix the virus, you can empower them to be a helper by washing their hands often and covering their nose and mouth if they cough or sneeze.

This website offers ideas for thinking about self-care during coronavirus.

Consider Mental Health: Mental health is important, especially during challenging times. We can do many things to keep our minds, bodies, and spirits healthy such as connecting with others, playing, spending time outdoors, and limiting our news consumption. Here are some other resources that may be useful for you and your children when considering mental health.

Teletherapy: Many psychologists and counselors are now offering teletherapy and many insurances are covering these services in response to the coronavirus crisis. Counselors can walk you through options (e.g. telephone, computer, etc.) based on your personal preferences and access.

Online Support Groups: Many support groups are continuing online and you can also create your own. Coming together to mediate, pray, or talk with others can provide a sense of connectedness. If you do not belong to such a community consider setting this up with loved ones.

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CORONAVIRUS RESPONSE - Fred Rogers Center for Early Learning & Children's Media

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During uncertain times, it may be difficult to know what to do or to say to children. As Fred Rogers said, it is your being there that matters most. "Being there" may look different for each caregiver and child and it may look different each day.

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COVID 19 Resources

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Need to report a COVID-19 case in your child care program? Use the Positive COVID-19 Case Reporting form.

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Resources for Providers and Families

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Guide to Mental Health Resources for COVID-19

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Department of Psychiatry Guide to Mental Health Resources for COVID-19

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Georgie and the Giant Germ coloring book 2020

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Manuela Molina Cruz

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Children's Book by Ana M. Gomez (2020)

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Manuela Molina Cruz

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Manuela Molina Cruz

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Dr. Shu-Chen Jenny Yen
Children's Book

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Malia Jones

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Free books to support children's mental health in English and Spanish

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Wiley (publisher of the Infant Mental Health Journal) offers a link to access research articles related to COVID-19:

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Wiley (publisher of the Infant Mental Health Journal) offers a link to access research articles related to COVID-19:

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Cookies are disabled for this browser. Wiley Online Library requires cookies for authentication and use of other site features; therefore, cookies must be enabled to browse the site. Detailed information on how Wiley uses cookies can be found in our Privacy Policy.

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Cookies are disabled for this browser. Wiley Online Library requires cookies for authentication and use of other site features; therefore, cookies must be enabled to browse the site. Detailed information on how Wiley uses cookies can be found in our Privacy Policy.

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Perks and Freebies for Health Care Workers on the Frontlines of COVID 19

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Our biggest heroes during the pandemic are the healthcare workers, as they battle to help treat and save hundreds of thousands of lives. As a token of appreciation, some companies have offered perks for you heroes. Here is our compilation of perks and freebies for healthcare workers in the frontline. Thank you for all that you do. We truly appreciate every single one of you. <3

(Please email cze@averagesocialite.com if we are missing anything/any suggestions and check back for updates!)
Last updated 4/9/20 @ 3:15AM/ET

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PERKS AND FREEBIES FOR COVID-19 HEALTHCARE WORKERS - Average Socialite

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Our biggest heroes during the pandemic are the healthcare workers, as they battle to help treat and save hundreds of thousands of lives. As a token of appreciation, some companies have offered perks for you heroes. Here is our compilation of perks and freebies for healthcare workers in the frontline

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Dr. Bob Emde (2016)

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Bob Emde's Plenary about IMH history in 2016

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National Alliance for Drug Endangered Children 

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National Alliance for Drug Endangered Children 

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Newly released free trainings

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Pediatric Nutrition: Who is at risk and how can we help? Kimberly C. Brown, MD, FAAP

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Pediatric Nutrition: Who is at risk and how can we help? Kimberly C. Brown, MD, FAAP

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PA-AIMH's Northeast Region benefited greatly from Dr. Kimberly Brown's presentation on pediatric nutrition on Friday, March 13. Dr. Brown graciously agreed to allow us to videotape the presentation and also shared her slides with us. We wanted to share the videotaped presentation (and slides) with you all because know how many people wanted to attend, but were not able to due to beginning to practice social isolation in response to COVID-19. You can find a link to the videotaped presentation below. Slides are attached to this email. The link to the videotaped presentation will be available for approximately 3 months.

We wanted to share this vital information with our stakeholders, particularly given, as Dr. Brown noted, that food insecurity and the attendant issues related to nutrition for infants and young children can be exacerbated in times of crisis, such as the current pandemic.

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Video Conferencing, Web Conferencing, Webinars, Screen Sharing

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Zoom is the leader in modern enterprise video communications, with an easy, reliable cloud platform for video and audio conferencing, chat, and webinars across mobile, desktop, and room systems. Zoom Rooms is the original software-based conference room solution used around the world in board, conference, huddle, and training rooms, as well as executive offices and classrooms. Founded in 2011, Zoom helps businesses and organizations bring their teams together in a frictionless environment to get more done.

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You Are Enough

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Parenting During Coronavirus: You Are Enough | Parenting Tips & Advice

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I’ve never parented during a pandemic before. The best thing we can do right now is remind ourselves that for our kids, we are enough.

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Coronavirus Fact Sheet

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Resources for Parents and Professionals

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Michigan Medicine Department of Psychiatry

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Zero to Thrive infographic-COVID-19 kids

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Brief for Family Child Care Providers

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Free training resources

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To view this email as a webpage, click here.

Dear Ounce supporters, customers and partners,

As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to impact each and every one of us around the country and the world, we are thinking of how we can best serve you and the communities you reach. In these trying times, the work that you do to support families and children in need is more important than ever.

Given the current situation, many of your organizations are likely operating under challenging circumstances. In an effort to continue supporting the important work we've been doing together, we are making the following changes to our current and upcoming professional development solutions:

Transitioning our live trainings into virtual offerings

Postponing our in-person convenings temporarily

Discounting our online professional development to make e-learning more accessible

For those of you who work in a home-based environment, including home visitors, supervisors, nurses, parent educators, family support specialists and more, we are extending complimentary access to one self-paced course within Achieve OnDemand - a high-quality online professional development program for home visiting.

Please take the following steps to participate in this offer:

Select your complimentary Achieve OnDemand course from our learning experiences catalog.

To redeem your complimentary course, enroll on our online learning portal, and use the coupon code AODFree2020 during checkout.

If your state, network, or program already provides you access to Achieve OnDemand, please enroll in your self-paced course as normal. Our team will coordinate with your provider to ensure the above offer is reflected in their partnership.

This offer can be redeemed anytime between now and May 1, 2020.

We hope this complimentary course helps home visitors and other early childhood professionals engage in professional development while working from home.

Everyone here at the Ounce is focused on helping the early childhood community be responsive to family needs at this time, and continuing to support programs across the country so that they are ready to re-start as soon as possible. If you are interested in learning more about our other professional development solutions, go totheounce.org/pd.

Please reach out to us atachieveondemand@theounce.org with any questions.

Thank you,

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To view this email as a webpage, click here. Dear Ounce supporters, customers and partners, As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to impact each and every one of us around the country and the world, we are thinking of how we can best serve you and the communities you reach.

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Breastfeeding Guidance

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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If you are breastfeeding and have symptoms of or confirmed COVID-19, take steps to avoid spreading the virus to your baby:

Wash your hands before touching your baby

Wear a face mask, if possible, while feeding at the breast

Wash your hands before touching pump or bottle parts and clean all parts after each use

You need javascript enabled to view this content or go to source URL.

Page last reviewed:

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transmission of coronavirus through breast milk

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Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19) and Breastfeeding

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If you are breastfeeding and have symptoms of or confirmed COVID-19, take steps to avoid spreading the virus to your baby: Wash your hands before touching your baby Wear a face mask, if possible, while feeding at the breast Wash your hands before touching pump or bottle parts and clean all parts after each use You need javascript enabled to view this content or go to source URL.

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RS-C groups via virtual technology ZTT article Jan 2020

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Free webinars for professionals

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Social distancing and sheltering are stressful. With little outside social support or respite, children are at a greater risk for harsh disciplinary practices, abuse, and neglect. And for those responsible for children, the stressors are tenfold and directly felt by babies and young children.

Join us for a 5-part guided reflection webinar series to consider the impact on children, families, your staff and services. Connect with your community of support to gain actionable trauma-informed practices and prevention efforts.

Each webinar focuses on a specific early childhood sector, providing resources and opportunities for reflective dialogue around trauma-informed practice and prevention efforts, vicarious traumatization risk, and promoting professional resilience.

The Role of Clinicians

Topic: Clinicians' Attending To Risks for Abuse and Neglect During COVID-19: A Guided Reflection
Date: Apr 15, 2020 | 1:00-2:15 PM ET

The Role of Home Visits

Topic: Home Visitors' Attending To Risks for Abuse and Neglect During COVID-19: A Guided Reflection
Date: Apr 22, 2020 | 1:00-2:15 PM ET

The Role of Early Childhood Educators

Topic: Early Childhood Educators' Attending To Risks for Abuse and Neglect During COVID-19: A Guided Reflection
Date: Apr 29, 2020 | 1:00-2:15 PM ET

The Role of Child Welfare

Topic: Child Welfare Professionals' Attending To Risks for Abuse and Neglect During COVID-19: A Guided Reflection
Date: May 6, 2020 | 1:00-2:15 PM ET

The Role of Military/Veteran Providers

Topic: Military/Veteran Providers' Attending To Risks for Abuse and Neglect During COVID-19: A Guided Reflection
Date: May 13, 2020 | 1:00-2:15 PM ET

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Webinar Series: Addressing Abuse and Neglect During COVID-19

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Social distancing and sheltering are stressful. With little outside social support or respite, children are at a greater risk for harsh disciplinary practices, abuse, and neglect. And for those responsible for children, the stressors are tenfold and directly felt by babies and young children.

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Guidance on addressing COVID 19 with families

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As families in every community around the globe face daily uncertainties and challenges due to the novel coronavirus (COVID-19), ZERO TO THREE, the leading nonprofit for babies and toddlers, today released a set of free resources for parents, caregivers, early care and education professionals, and others who directly or indirectly care for babies and toddlers.

"At times like these, it's important for us to remember that we have a strong community of family, friends, and colleagues we can count on for support," said Matthew Melmed, executive director of ZERO TO THREE. "We know that for working parents and caregivers in particular, 'life interrupted' brings the unexpected challenge of juggling care and work due to school and child care closures. And most of us are experiencing heightened stress and anxiety. We honor that the health and well-being of you and your family comes first. Guided by this fundamental understanding, we are providing expert guidance to families with young children to help ease caregiving during this uncertain time. By taking care of ourselves and each other, we can take better care of babies."

Resources for Children and Families

Our collection of free, expert resources is available at zerotothree.org/coronavirus and will be updated on an ongoing basis. We also encourage our community of early childhood professionals to share these resources with the families they serve.

About ZERO TO THREE

ZERO TO THREE works to ensure all babies and toddlers benefit from the family and community connections critical to their well-being and development. Since 1977, the organization has advanced the proven power of nurturing relationships by transforming the science of early childhood into helpful resources, practical tools and responsive policies for millions of parents, professionals, and policymakers. For more information, and to learn how to become a ZERO TO THREE member, please visit zerotothree.org, facebook.com/zerotothree, or follow @zerotothree on Twitter.

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ZERO TO THREE Provides Expert Resources to Parents and Caregivers in Response to Coronavirus Pandemic

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As families in every community around the globe face daily uncertainties and challenges due to the novel coronavirus (COVID-19), ZERO TO THREE, the leading nonprofit for babies and toddlers, today released a set of free resources for parents, caregivers, early care and education professionals, and others who directly or indirectly care for babies and toddlers.

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Tips for Families

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The following resources offer tips for families including age-appropriate responses to common questions, a guide to self-care, and activities for young children experiencing social distancing.

We want to hear how we can best support you! Let us know how coronavirus has impacted you by sharing your thoughts, experiences, best practices, and questions.

LATEST RESOURCES

COMIC: A Kids' Guide To Coping With The Pandemic (And A Printable Zine)
A short comic presents tips and advice to help kids through the pandemic.

Talking about the Coronavirus

Just For Kids: A Comic Exploring The New Coronavirus
NPR presents a comic developed from an interview with Tara Powell, Joy Osofsky, PhD, and Krystal Lewis on what kids might want to know about the Coronavirus.

Self-Care & Time at Home

Setting Limits
Try the Feel-See-Do method in response to metldowns and irrational insistence.

Parenting During Coronavirus: You Are Enough
Managing expectations as a parent is key during stressful times.

First Things First: Parenting in the time of coronavirus and social distancing Families have lots of questions, so First Things First, an early childhood agency, reached out ZERO TO THREE's parenting expert for her thoughts and advice for parents with babies, toddlers and preschoolers during this period of social distancing.

COVID-19: Advice for Caregivers of Young Children This infogram handout from experts at the Louisiana State University Health Sciences Center outlines common ways children react to stress, and ideas to help.

Staying Connected

Sesame Street Resources

Our neighbors on Sesame Street offer these fun activities and guides to staying safe and healthy as part of their new Caring for Each Other initiate :

My Healthy Week!
Chart a schedule of the ways little ones can stay strong with this free printable.

How to Wash Your Hands
Share the video featuring Bebe to show the right way to stop the spread of germs, and have a child show you how they use soap, then water!

H is for Handwashing
Read this storybook to explore the ways that children across the world stay happy and healthy. Invite children to think about how the ways we wash our hands that may be different and similar to our friends in other places.

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The following resources offer tips for families including age-appropriate responses to common questions, a guide to self-care, and activities for young children experiencing social distancing. We want to hear how we can best support you! Let us know how coronavirus has impacted you by sharing your thoughts, experiences, best practices, and questions.

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Why are so many people wearing masks?

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For children under three years, it's best to answer their questions simply in language they understand. If children ask about people wearing masks or other face coverings, parents can explain:

Sometimes people wear masks when they are sick or to help keep them safe so they won't get sick.

Sometimes children might ask follow-up questions like the ones below. At this age, it's important to answer only the questions they ask. Avoid sharing additional information (about germs, what is contagious, etc.) that they can't understand because of their age. Some common follow-up questions might be:

Is the mask a costume? (No, sometimes people wear masks when they are sick or to help keep them safe so they won't get sick.)

Can the person still talk? (Yes. The mask covers their mouth, but they can still talk. Just like if I put my hand over my mouth, I can still talk. [demonstrate])

Are they scary or a "bad" person? (No. The mask covers up part of their face, but that doesn't mean they are scary or bad. They are wearing a mask because they are sick or to keep other people from getting sick. That's all.)

Will I get sick? (Everybody gets sick sometimes. If you get sick, Mama/Dada will take care of you until you are all better. The doctors will help you, too.)

If you live in a community where many people are wearing masks, your child may want to "pretend play" wearing a mask. This is very typical for toddlers! Pretend play is one way that children make sense of their world, by "trying on" the roles and people they see in the world around them. As a parent, you can decide how comfortable you are with this play theme. You might also suggest pretend play around medical roles (doctor/nurse with a teddy bear) to focus on how people take care of others when they are sick.

During stressful times, what children need most is you-a safe, secure relationship where they can express their feelings and questions. Here are some tips:

Keep daily routines (naptime, bedtime) as consistent as possible for your child.

Limit your child's exposure to media reports about COVID-19. Remember, your child is soaking in the tension you're feeling as you watch the news.

Discuss your own questions/worries about COVID-19 when your child is out of earshot.

Practice good hygiene to limit exposure to COVID-19. The Centers for Disease Control/Healthy Children has helpful resources on this topic.

Looking for more information? Visit zerotothree.org/coronavirus for our latest resources and updates for families.

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Why are people wearing masks? Why are people covering their faces?

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For children under three years, it's best to answer their questions simply in language they understand. If children ask about people wearing masks or other face coverings, parents can explain: Sometimes people wear masks when they are sick or to help keep them safe so they won't get sick.

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Carolina Global Breastfeeding Institute...free presentations relevant to maternal child health

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UNC Gillings School of Global Public Health

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Maternity Care Practice Improvement - Relevant Info Amidst COVID-19 * UNC Gillings School of Global Public Health

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Virtual Meeting Tuesday, March 24th 1. COVID-19 Lactation and Infant Feeding in Emergencies (L.I.F.E.) Support | Dr. Aunchalee Palmquist 2. TeleHealth Opportunities and Experiences from McLeod Regional Florence | Michelle Hendricks 3. Updates from Baby-Friendly USA | Tammy Titus 4. Overview of 2023 Guidelines and Evaluation Criteria from Baby-Friendly USA | Tammy Titus 5.

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New publication with strategies for addressing children's emotional health

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Protective factor #3: Emotional support for children

Emotional and behavioral changes in children are to be expected during a pandemic, as everyone adjusts to a changes in daily routines. Some children may show signs of emotional distress (e.g., clinginess, anxiety, sadness, anger). But with strong emotional support from adults and communities, most children will return to their typical level of functioning from before the pandemic.
Parents and other caregivers can:

Use the 3 Rs (reassurance, routines, regulation): Reassure children about their safety and the safety of loved ones; maintain predictable routines (e.g., sleeping, eating, learning, playing); support children's regulation skills by helping them manage difficult feelings (e.g., deep breathing, movement, quiet time); and make time for emotional "check-ins" (e.g., offer opportunities for children to ask questions, talk about their feelings, and get age-appropriate information and support).

Emphasize the positive. Stories of hope and resilience (e.g., people helping each other or animals) provide an important counterbalance to negativity and fear about the pandemic. If books are unavailable at home, try accessing free online books for children and teens.

Communities, states, tribes, and territories can:

Facilitate families' access to home visiting, early intervention, child and family mental health programs, teachers, and other services by offering remote options for remaining in contact with children and their families (e.g., telephone or video contact, including telehealth).

Protective factor #4: Support for caregiver well-being

When parents' and other caregivers' needs are met, children are more likely to receive sensitive and responsive care. Protecting adults' mental and physical health is an effective strategy for promoting children's well-being during and after a pandemic.
Parents and other caregivers can:

Whenever possible, prioritize time and energy for activities that are most important and meaningful to caregivers and their families (e.g., enjoyable activities with family at home, celebrating birthdays and other important milestones, connecting with friends) and focus on what can be reasonably accomplished under the circumstances.

Take breaks from work and caregiving responsibilities: Even short periods of time spent on self-care (e.g., rest, exercise, mindfulness, reading, praying) can benefit the whole family.

Reach out to family members, friends, religious groups, and professionals who can offer support for managing emotional and mental health challenges, such as stress, anxiety, and depression.

Communities, states, tribes, and territories can:

Actively provide outreach to known vulnerable families and offer concrete informational resources on nutrition, housing, clothing, and mental and physical health.

Ensure that mental and physical health services are available to parents and caregivers even when in-person contact with a provider is not possible (e.g., telebehavioral health, telemedicine).

Protective factor #5: Social connectedness

Postive social connections are important protective factors for both children and adults during a pandemic. Although in-person contact may be limited, physical distancing should not turn into social isolation, which is a risk factor for child abuse and neglect, adult and youth substance use, and family violence. During disasters, children interact less frequently with mandated reporters and other adults who could recognize and report signs of trouble in a family. Monitoring children's safety is especially important during the pandemic.
Parents and other caregivers can:

Spend virtual time regularly with extended family members and friends (e.g., online or by mail, depending on each family's resources).

Encourage older children and teens to stay socially connected virtually.

When time is limited, focus on connections with family, friends, religious figures, service providers, or others who offer the most helpful types of support.

Connect to others through common hobbies and opportunities to help in the community, which can be rewarding and meaningful (e.g., donating supplies, writing letters to older adults).

Reach out to other families with children to check on their well-being and offer support.

Communities, states, tribes, and territories can:

Offer regular opportunities for children and their caregivers to connect virtually (e.g., online, telephone) with one another through cultural activities, education, hobbies, support groups, and other community gatherings.

Conduct regular check-ins with families (by phone or online) with children who experienced threats to their safety (e.g., child abuse and neglect, intimate partner violence, substance abuse, mental illness) prior to the pandemic. Professionals who are permitted by their agencies (within established safety guidelines) may conduct home visits to check in with families.

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Ways to Promote Children's Resilience to the COVID-19 Pandemic - Child Trends

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The COVID-19 pandemic and its associated social and economic stressors can undermine children's development and well-being. Not only must they cope with major changes to everyday life, such as physical distancing and home confinement, but their families may struggle to meet their basic physical and emotional needs.

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Labyrinth Podcast

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Miranda talks about non-duality and how there really isn't this separateness that we believe there is. It's us that creates the separation. What does it look like to be in non-duality? What does it look like to not create separation in the experiences in your life?

When we work with pain of any kind, it's not that mindfulness or meditation fixes it all, it's that we start weaving a bigger basket to hold it all. How can you seek the middle space where everything exists and everything can be held?

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Labyrinth Podcast - Copper Beech Institute

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Miranda talks about non-duality and how there really isn't this separateness that we believe there is. It's us that creates the separation. What does it look like to be in non-duality? What does it look like to not create separation in the experiences in your life?

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CT Association for Infant Mental Health

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Infant Mental Health concerns the relationships that infants and young children develop with their primary attachment figure, which may be a parent or other primary caregiver.Infant Mental Health, sometimes referred to as Infant Brain Health, has been defined as the developing capacity of the child from birth through age five to: experience, regulate, and express emotions; form close, secure interpersonal relationships; and explore his/her environment and learn-all within the context of family, community, and cultural expectations (Zero to Three Infant Mental Health Task Force Steering Committee, 2001).

Promoting, supporting and strengthening these early relationships in a culturally sensitive context is the work of professionals from many disciplines including health, human services, and education.When these earliest relationships are positive, responsive and predictable the stage is set for all future learning, growth, and development.

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Infant Mental Health concerns the relationships that infants and young children develop with their primary attachment figure, which may be a parent or other primary caregiver.Infant Mental Health, sometimes referred to as Infant Brain Health, has been defined as the developing capacity of the child from birth through age five to: experience, regulate, and express emotions; form close, secure interpersonal relationships; and explore his/her environment and learn-all within the context of family, community, and cultural expectations (Zero to Three Infant Mental Health Task Force Steering Committee, 2001).

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Developed by the MI-AIMH and the Alliance, Zero to Thrive at the University of MI and the Michigan Department of Human Services Children's Division.

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Easing Anxiety during challenging times

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Mothers in NYC Will Not Give Birth Alone

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Mothers in NYC Will Not Give Birth Alone

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Executive Order from Gov. Cuomo

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In response to some private hospitals' decision to bar partners, New York will order all hospitals to allow partners in delivery rooms, despite the coronavirus risk.

NewYork-Presbyterian hospitals had barred partners from labor and delivery rooms, but an executive order from Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo required them to change the policy. Credit... John Minchillo/Associated Press

Women preparing to give birth at some hospitals in New York City will no longer have to labor alone,state officials said Saturday.

Melissa DeRosa, the secretary to Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo, announced that an executive order would be issued that required all hospitals in New York, both public and private, to allow women to have a partner in the labor and delivery room - in compliance with the latest guidance from the New York State Department of Health.

The order, which the governor released Saturday night, is a response to a decision earlier this week by two major New York City hospital systems, NewYork-Presbyterian and Mount Sinai, to ban support people from labor and delivery rooms because of the coronavirus pandemic.

"Women will not be forced to be alone when they are giving birth," Ms. DeRosa said on Twitter shortly after the pending executive order was announced.

The Department of Health, the regulatory authority over hospitals, had notified hospitals on Friday that they were required to allow one person to accompany a woman throughout labor and delivery.

The NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital network, where about 25,000 infants are delivered each year, and the Mount Sinai Hospital System, both private, had instituted the ban on support persons in response to the coronavirus epidemic, resulting in an outcry from expectant parents, doulas and midwives, and a petition that has received more than 600,000 signatures.

A spokeswoman for NewYork-Presbyterian said in a statement on Saturday that it would comply with the executive order "effective immediately."

"Our highest priority continues to be the safety and well-being of our patients, their families, and our staff," the statement said.

And Renatt Brodsky, a spokeswoman for Mount Sinai, said on Saturday that the hospital system would follow the executive order "effective today."

"We have always - and will always - make these difficult decisions with the best of intentions and safety of the mother, baby and our staff as our guiding principle," Ms. Brodsky said.

Mount Sinai updated its policy on its website Saturday night, saying all visitors would still be barred from the postpartum recovery area.

Dr. Christopher Zahn, the vice president of practice activities for the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, emphasized the value of support persons in labor and delivery rooms in a statement on Friday.

"Evidence suggests that, in addition to regular nursing care, continuous one-to-one emotional support provided by a partner or support personnel such as a doula is associated with improved outcomes for women in labor," Dr. Zahn said.

He added, "Labor support can be particularly critical for women who already face health care disparities and other barriers to care."

Jesse Pournaras, a New York City-based doula who brought the petition opposing the new policies, said the decision was a victory on behalf of women giving birth in New York City and beyond.

"It should set the precedent that laboring individuals are entitled to the support of their choosing in labor," Ms. Pournaras said.

NewYork-Presbyterian changed its policies after pregnant women who were positive for Covid-19 but asymptomatic exposed more than 30 hospital workers to the virus.

Soon after the babies were delivered, the mothers' conditions "deteriorated very quickly," and the mothers were admitted to the intensive care unit, said Dr. Mary D'Alton, the chief obstetrician and gynecologist at the NewYork-Presbyterian/Columbia University Irving Medical Center in Manhattan.

Details about the cases at Columbia were presented in a paper published online on Thursday in the American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynecology MFM.

There is no evidence the infants have contracted the virus.

Dr. Vincenzo Berghella, editor in chief of the journal, said he was strongly in favor of a no-visitor policy for maternity patients where support is offered via video.

"I understand well both sides - I remember every minute of assisting emotionally during the birth of our two sons," he said in an email on Saturday. "But saving lives now is more important."

Flannery Amdahl, 36, a New Yorker who is in her second trimester of pregnancy, has been following the controversy closely.

"It has been so difficult to come to terms with. I have definitely cried over this policy," she said.

But she said she did not fully support the state's decision to compel hospitals to allow support people in labor and delivery rooms.

"I am torn because on the one hand, it is really scary to think about the possibility of giving birth alone, and not having an advocate in the delivery room," she said. "However, I don't think the hospitals made this decision lightly, at all. They recognize that medical personnel are risking their own lives to just be there."

Jesse McKinley contributed reporting from Albany.

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'Women Will Not Be Forced to Be Alone When They Are Giving Birth'

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In response to some private hospitals' decision to bar partners, New York will order all hospitals to allow partners in delivery rooms, despite the coronavirus risk. Women preparing to give birth at some hospitals in New York City will no longer have to labor alone,state officials said Saturday.

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Guided Meditations

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Guided Meditations - Copper Beech Institute

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Join us for a live guided mindfulness practice every day on zoom or listen to our previous live guided recordings on our website. Take your time with our meditation and gentle movement recordings by our community of facilitators.

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The Connecticut Department of Public Health (CT-DPH) in partnership with the Carolina Global Breastfeeding Institute (CGBI) would like to invite you to the launch of the Ready Set Baby website

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Information to manage the transition back to life at home.

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During COVID 19, Telehealth, Virtual Home Visits Can Help

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As community members practice social distancing due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the home visiting field-which serves many families that face challenges related to economic hardship, mental health, and substance use-can no longer meet with families in person. Research shows that child abuse, intimate partner violence, and substance abuse increase during times of crisis, so it is now more important than ever to provide support to families who may face barriers to accessing services. Some service providers and states are implementing remote services, including virtual home visits, on which home visitors can learn from their peers in medicine and behavioral health.

Two fields-medicine and behavioral health-have explored the use of telehealth, defined as the use of electronic platforms such as video, texting, or online content to support long-distance health services. Studies comparing in-person and telehealth models have generally found similar outcomes across the two modes of service. Because of the overlap between the kinds of services that both telehealth services and home visiting programs provide-including assessment, information sharing, and support-lessons learned from telehealth can be valuable to home visiting.

The following research-supported technological outreach strategies may be options for home visiting:

Video calls. Many home visiting models and states are allowing home visitors to use video calls to parents to address families' needs for support. Other service providers, including child welfare caseworkers, are also moving toward the use of video-conferencing to reach families. Parents as Teachers has partnered with the University of Southern California to test the use of video calls to offer home visiting services; preliminary research shows high rates of parent satisfaction. While video calls are a great way to reach families, not all families will be able to take advantage, and home visitors can support families through other means.

Texting and messaging apps. Telehealth may also include providing supports using texting or messaging services, and some research finds that these technologies enhance the effectiveness of traditional home visiting programs. Texting that accompanied a home visiting program increased responsive parenting and use of parenting strategies, and decreased incidences of children acting out and parental depression.

Online content. Telehealth may also involve home visitors providing relevant information online. Some parenting programs that typically offer information to parents in a group-based setting have offered online versions of their programs to reduce barriers to access, finding that outcomes were the same for in-person and web participation. Programs that use online content for parents have found that online versions of parent support can improve outcomes for families and for children. Parent engagement with online content can be strengthened when providers check in with parents about the content and reinforce ideas.

Home visitors may need to adjust typical service delivery strategies to best recognize and meet the needs of families. For example:

Families and home visitors need technology support. When using video conferencing, technology glitches may affect the quality of home visitors' interactions with families. Home visiting programs should provide support to both staff and parents to troubleshoot problems. Not all families will have regular access to web-supported devices for virtual visits (although some providers are offering open access to wifi during the crisis), so programs should provide a range of telehealth support.

Home visitors must be even more attentive to privacy concerns than usual during virtual visits, particularly around challenging topics such as depression or intimate partner violence. For example, a parent's risk is potentially amplified given that they or other family members may be in close contact with an abuser who is also practicing social distancing. Home visitors must be able to communicate with other practitioners who have expertise in these difficult topics and can provide additional services to families-both of which can be done remotely.

While the field is learning how to best implement telehealth, home visiting programs can also adapt strategies from traditional home visiting as they move to virtual home visits during the COVID-19 crisis.

Good communication skills remain important to engage with families. To communicate well using video, providers should set up equipment to allow eye contact with the family to strengthen rapport. They should minimize distractions such as background noise and think carefully about what is in their background (for example, choose a blank wall as a backdrop).

Support to parents extends beyond the home visit. Programs can text to check in on parents or reinforce content between meetings. Texting to support parents can increase their overall engagement in the program.

It's important to create day and time boundaries for communication with families. Since telehealth technology is available around the clock, home visitors must be supported by programs to clearly set expectations and boundaries when they engage with families.

Families' needs during the COVID-19 crisis will likely change day to day: Many families will lose supports and services or face modified services and become even more at risk. Telehealth options are a promising opportunity to ensure that families receive vital support in this difficult time.

Additional resources:
Telehealth in infant mental health home visiting
Specific model guidance to date: ABC, Healthy Families America, HIPPY, Nurse Family Partnership, Parents as Teachers
HHS guidance relaxing HIPAA requirements about confidentiality

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During the COVID-19 pandemic, telehealth can help connect home visiting services to families - Child Trends

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As community members practice social distancing due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the home visiting field-which serves many families that face challenges related to economic hardship, mental health, and substance use-can no longer meet with families in person.

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Pregnancy and COVID 19

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Dr. Christina Bethell at ACES Connection

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As I was considering the children sheltering-in-place this morning and reflecting on lessons from my own childhood, I wondered: Can we heal-in-place too? I was born after the 1962 Cuban missile crisis, another collective trauma affecting everyone. Yet, it was nevertheless passed on to me by the adults in my life in the form of constant reminders that the U.S. could be blown into bits any second. When I started school, there were constant "hide under the chair" earthquake drills I took to be missile bomb threats. Or maybe bombs were approaching all the way from the front lines of the Vietnam War, evidence of which was blaring on the television night and day.

With each drill, my already adverse-childhood-experiences-stressed nervous system (#ACEs) ignited until finally it just got stuck on high. In the case of the coronavirus pandemic, our close friends or family members could be the source of the "bomb" that might threaten us or those we love. In this way, this new threat impacts closer to heart and home. Our daily lives changed overnight.

I believe that my distress and that of our children now could be mitigated or even prevented by fostering positive childhood experiences (#PCEs) in how we address the COVID-19 threat. As was the case for me, children for whom school and the community is the main source of positive experiences need special attention right now. See our Minnesota friends singing from their porches together - what fun that would have been for me as a child (I loved to sing and dance!).

Today, through the COVID-19 threat, we have a chance to turn this potential adverse childhood experience (ACE) into a positive childhood experience (PCE). I have convinced myself that, yes, as we shelter-in-place we have a chance to heal-in-place too. Our research shows that feeling safe in our families to talk about emotions and things that are hard and feeling supported during hard times is what most defines a positive childhood experience (PCE). And such experiences during difficulty - like the COVID-19 threat - have lasting positive effects into adulthood. Notice that I said "feeling safe and supported." This means it does not count if you think a child "should" feel this way. It only counts if they do.When it comes to reaping the benefits of PCEs, feelings are the currency that turn on our body's and brain's healing responses.

In our 2019 study, we found that adults reporting more PCEs had 72% lower odds of experiencing adult depression and/or poor mental health, and had over 350% greater odds of getting the social and emotional support they need as an adult compared to those with fewer PCEs. And this was true even for adults who reported also having higher numbers of ACEs. The brand of PCEs we studied are not merry-go-rounds and horse rides in the park, though that can be a part of it. They are learning to trust life and others even amid uncertainty and difficulties. The most important PCEs are born in difficulty.

Similarly, in another study, we found that children whose parents report being able to "share ideas and talk about things that matter with their child" had over 1200% greater odds of flourishing compared to children for whom this was not the case. Our research showed that "talking about things that matter" almost always meant "talking about things that are uncertain, painful, scary, embarrassing or difficult".

We can leverage neuroplasticity to turn COVID-19 into healing. Neuroscience tells us that neurons that fire together, wire together, creating patterns of beliefs and reactions that can last a lifetime. When fear goes unseen and nurturance is withheld, fear wires to fear whether we are aware of it or not. If not interrupted through healing, the inflammation (and myriad other biologic impacts) in the body and brain ignite and accumulate over time, along with beliefs and reactions that keep the fear response alive and at-the-ready. Yet, when a child is met with warmth, care and reassurance that they are not alone when they feel fear, their body and brain can wire together the ACE they are experiencing today with support. And that makes all the difference to their brain and body's stress response and the beliefs they develop about themselves, others and life as the story unfolds from there.

So, for children who have already faced ACEs and the toxic stress and trauma that can result, every new threat can spark older trauma that may be forgotten (or, more likely, never recognized as such). Could it be that the COVID-19 threat could be a way in to the hidden and frozen trauma making the way for healing for these children and for us all? Could helping children and each other notice the difficulty and fear now and discover how it might be like other times that felt unsafe or sad allow us to pull the thread of what is unhealed and allow it to rise to the surface for safe healing now?

The "Schema" and "Connection" songs sung by children in teacher Kelly Withrow's class ( https://youtu.be/hZrvtjD-J78) show that we can easily teach children how our brains act to map new stories, information and experiences to past stories and beliefs (our mental schemas). Can't we use this same knowledge to teach them that they can choose to not map this COVID-19 experience to past experiences of stress and even leverage this new threat to heal the past? To do that, first, they need to know that today they are safe and protected. And that it is not their fault- today, nor in the past. For me these songs illustrate the opportunity to take a neuro-informed, trauma-informed and healing-centered approach now. We can use our will and our skill to become aware and learn to build positive childhood experiences.

Parents, family, teachers, health care workers all need to do all the right things to protect our children's physical, mental and emotional health. Those who know me know how much I advocate for teaching children ways to cope and express themselves using evidence-based tools like deep breathing and mindfulness practices, movement through dance or yoga, expression through art, cooking, journaling, storytelling or playing. Yet, our science is even more clear that our on-purpose emotional connection can't be replaced. We need time-inpractices (deep breathing, relaxation and mindfulness exercises). But it is through time-with practices we get our most basic ground-zero connection and belonging needs met..

And here's a hot tip from my younger self. Assume the need for support is there. Don't wait until a child looks sad, falls apart or shuts down. By then we've missed dozens or more chances to have prevented the crisis - a crisis that can snowball into a lifetime of anxiety or withdrawal from others and life. Yes, it can. And go for ground-zero. That is to say, search for that felt sense that alerts you to the fact that real physically felt and emotionally safe connection has locked in. I call this "#zero-point presence". We must be intentional to not gloss this over.

Dr. Martha Welch, who leads the Columbia University Nurture Science program, confirms that indeed "being together is not the same thing as connecting" and "...when we don't connect with others, our brains can't develop optimally, or function well." She lays out the anatomy of making the type of "ground-zero" connection I am talking about with these tips:

Make space for uninterrupted time (at least a half an hour)

Find as much of a private space as is available

Turn off your notifications (especially if on a video call)

Turn off the news

Put down your electronics

Be with that person fully

Being able to connect is harder when we are also dealing with our own fear and trauma. Of course, we know children are exquisitely sensitive and respond physiologically and emotionally to the stress and anxiety of their caregivers. Parents, teachers and all those that interact with children need to consider their own well-being, especially whether and how ACEs have impacted them and, in-turn, how they are able to care for the children in their lives. This "Your Being, Their Well-Being" pillar for preventing and mitigating the impact of adversities for children has led to resources for parents and teachers to learn and heal in ways that improve their ability to help their children. Listening to parents and experts discuss parenting with ACEs and reading systematic reviews of studies showing the effectiveness of parenting interventions gives me hope. They all center on the capacity of parents to foster the positive childhood experiences that we know put a wedge between a threat like COVID-19 and life-impacting trauma. The bottom line for us all is that our nervous systems can't lie to each other. The body does keep the score. And it also announces to all other nervous systems our true state of being. We respond in kind and usually unconsciously to the silent movie that is always rolling between our bodies, brains and hearts. Becoming conscious that this is happening gives us the power to make this a good or bad movie.

Knowing that PCEs are born through the care and warmth and reassurance we bring to threats like COVID-19 should give us hope. Research is growing to prove that our compassion and mindful presence is medicine - in families, in health care and in schools, and yes, even online classes count! We need to guard and care for our children now and while we may not be able to miraculously manufacture a vaccine or treatment, we can mitigate the mind-body-heart impacts of threat through our efforts to promote positive childhood experiences today. #WeAreTheMedicine.

Don't wait - we all need a steady diet of care and connection - not just when distress is evident. Too often we rationalize that we don't want to stir things up. Connect early, often and when things seem okay! Then do it again. I never spoke or asked for help. I did not know that was something people could do. I now see this as a missed developmental milestone. Once a child goes past the point of reaching for support, this is when we can be very concerned, because the child seems to thrive while the heat of the embedded trauma takes its silent-movie toll.

Many children today are sheltering-in-place in homes where they are exposed to ACEs everyday - and this applies to at least 45% of US children today. In these families, the capacity to build positive childhood experience to buffer negative impacts of the COVID-19 threat may not be strong. Those interacting with children and families right now can model the warmth, care and reassurance needed and let them know how every interaction with their child matters and can help them heal and avoid further trauma. Make sure parents know that this COVID-19 threat could call up unhealed traumas and that it is possible now to rewire and connect the past trauma with a positive experience today. Parents, family members, friends and community members are powerful healers and our care and reassurance may seem small but is the exact medicine our children and we need. Science even shows this improves immunity and reduces stress - so even if COVID-19 does enter your home, being dedicated to fostering PCEs is important.

I am sadly aware that this COVID-19 threat could very well be the adverse childhood experience that goes on to impact many of our children's development and health across life. And of course, this is more likely to be true for children already being exposed to threats in the home or community, including emotional neglect or racism. For this reason, at the very least, federal COVID-19 relief policies need to include support for children we already know have high levels of ACEs by adding resources through the Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (#CAPTA). Here is an article with more information on efforts to make sure children and families are not ignored in our larger efforts to mitigate negative impacts of COVID-19.

Finally, the community is a powerful healer. Our research finds that community belonging and rituals are powerful protectors from negative impacts of ACEs and threats like COVID-19. For me, coinciding with the ACEs in my home was a community reeling from systemic neglect and conflict. Even as we all lived in close quarters, the sense of belonging and safe "got your back" connection had been beaten back by too much neglect and war-driven fear. Vietnam veterans lived in our apartment complex and that war continued along with a new "war on drugs" and nights with non-stop loud noises and unsafe walkways. Yet, another option was possible then even with the stress of that neighborhood. And it is possible now.

Even as we shelter-in-place or otherwise distance socially, communities can foster positive community experiences. Many are being creative to come together as a community even while distancing socially and remind us once again that human beings together are indeed a mighty force. Even seemingly small acts of community connection - like the one from Minnesota where neighbors - each on their own separate porches- sang together to "fill the emptiness with hope".

To help with this and build community resilience, Bob Doppelt,who leads The Resilience Innovation Group shared in a previous ACEs Connection experience. Recently he recommen webinar ways communities can practice "presencing" and "purposing" to heal the collective trauma they ded that communities act now and that o ne of the first priorities should be to offer web and/or phone-based education to first responders and health care staff focused on both "presencing and purposing"self-care tools.

Whatever we do, we need to take care that our ways of creating connection and healing are culturally competent. Most people and communities have ritu als or things that help them come into connection with each other and find meaning (purpose) in the difficulty. Right now, through all our efforts, we can remember that it isespecially important to guard our children from bias and discrimination. Equity and inclusion can be the first to go when collective threats emerge. People can hoard and blame and become cruel under threat - as if that will somehow protect them. With this threat we know that we protect and heal together or not at all. Perhaps a silver lining of COVID-19 is learning about our unconscious biases and to take this on as the societal elephant in the room that it is. I believe that when an entire society comes under the same threat, like COVID-19, there is no "them". There's just "us".

So, game on! And please respond to this article to share your own hot tips for reaching a ground-zero connections (what some also call "bio-synchrony") and creating community connection too. We can learn from each other by sharing examples from the children in our lives today - or with your own inner child. He or she is in there, you know, every single day, watching your every move. To keep this exchange vulnerable in that good Brené Brown "courage" sort of way, here is one of the few photos of me as a child (age 8). I looked fine. I was not fine. But no one asked. Here's to healing-in-place as we all face the COVID-19 threat together. Be well. Be together. Prioritize possibility. It is always there if we look for it.

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Healing in place: Game on to flip the COVID19 threat into a positive experience for our children

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As I was considering the children sheltering-in-place this morning and reflecting on lessons from my own childhood, I wondered: Can we heal-in-place too? I was born after the 1962 Cuban missile crisis, another collective trauma affecting everyone. Yet, it was nevertheless passed on to me by the adults in my life in the form of constant reminders that the U.S.

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Alexander McCall Smith

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Date Published: 19th March 2020

These are very difficult times for so many. I have been very touched by the messages that I have received from readers, many of whom are isolated now and are renewing their friendship with Mma Ramotswe and the others. I have written a poem especially for this moment, and the text is below. It comes to you with my warmest wishes, and my hope that you are keeping well. AMcS
In a time of distance
The unexpected always happens in the way

The unexpected has always occurred:

While we are doing something else,

While we are thinking of altogether

Different things - matters that events

Then show to be every bit as unimportant

As our human concerns so often are;

And then, with the unexpected upon us,

We look at one another with a sort of surprise;

How could things possibly turn out this way

When we are so competent, so pleased

With the elaborate systems we've created -

Networks and satellites, intelligent machines,

Pills for every eventuality - except this one?

And so we turn again to face one another

And discover those things

We had almost forgotten,

But that, mercifully, are still there:

Love and friendship, not just for those

To whom we are closest, but also for those

Whom we do not know and of whom

Perhaps we have in the past been frightened;

The words brother and sister, powerful still,

Are brought out, dusted down,

Found to be still capable of expressing

What we feel for others, that precise concern;

Joined together in adversity

We discover things we had put aside:

Old board games with obscure rules,

Books we had been meaning to read,

Letters we had intended to write,

Things we had thought we might say

But for which we never found the time;

And from these discoveries of self, of time,

There comes a new realisation

That we have been in too much of hurry,

That we have misused our fragile world,

That we have forgotten the claims of others

Who have been left behind;

We find that out in our seclusion,

In our silence; we commit ourselves afresh,

We look for a few bars of song

That we used to sing together,

A long time ago; we give what we can,

We wait, knowing that when this is over

A lot of us - not all perhaps - but most,

Will be slightly different people,

And our world, though diminished,

Will be much bigger, its beauty revealed afresh.

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A Poem for Troubled Times - Alexander McCall Smith

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These are very difficult times for so many. I have been very touched by the messages that I have received from readers, many of whom are isolated now and are renewing their friendship with Mma Ramotswe and the others. I have written a poem especially for this moment.

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Helping Children Cope with Coronavirus and Uncertainty

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How caregivers can answer children's questions while fostering a sense of safety

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The COVID-19 pandemic has the capacity to affect every person in the world-and how each individual responds can potentially affect everyone else. In addition to the efforts of courageous health care providers, first responders, and a wide range of workers providing other vital services, countless numbers of selfless individuals are leaping into action to meet the rapidly changing needs of people most affected by the economic, social, and health impacts of this crisis. We at the This is a moment in time for all of us to stretch the limits of our abilities and the boundaries of our creative capacities. Our Center is assembling easily accessible and actionable scientific knowledge for supporting the developmental needs of young children and their families in this current context-and we're eager to learn from your efforts so we can, in turn, use our platform to share those insights with others. We're also mobilizing our Center on the Developing Child especially wish to honor and support the extraordinary efforts of our colleagues across the early childhood community who are working tirelessly to assure the continuing availability of essential services while focusing public attention on the many challenges facing families with young children.

At this early stage of what is sure to be a long-term challenge, two lessons are already clear.

1. The immediate effects and long-term impacts of this rapidly changing situation will not be evenly distributed. The stresses of caregiving (for children as well as for adults at greater risk) are rising for everyone. For the millions of parents who were already struggling with low-wage work, lack of affordable childcare, and meeting their family's basic needs from paycheck to paycheck, the stresses are increasing exponentially. When unstable housing, food insecurity, social isolation, limited access to medical care, the burdens of racism, and fears related to immigration status are added, the toxic overload of adversities can also lead to increasing rates of substance abuse, family violence, and untreated mental health problems. We cannot lose sight of the massive consequences of these threats to the health and development of our most vulnerable children and their families-now and for years to come. Yet our hope comes from the dedicated, creative individuals and organizations that are innovating minute by minute to overcome barriers in collaboration with the people they serve-often in the face of threats to their own health and economic well-being. We salute these inspiring efforts and we pledge our support in whatever way we can.

2. Acting on the best available and most credible scientific knowledge has never been more essential, yet science by itself does not have all the answers. Coming from two very different areas of research, the most highly relevant science-based messages are urging both supportive relationships and social distancing as critical priorities. Prolonged physical separation is absolutely necessary to slow down the progression of a pandemic; responsive social interaction is essential for strengthening resilience in the face of adversity. Reconciling these conflicting necessities and developing effective strategies requires the combined wisdom of rigorous scientific thinking, on-the-ground expertise, and the lived experiences of a wide diversity of people and communities.

website and social media channels to shine a bright light on the rich resources available from many other organizations.

The question is not whether we will get through the ordeal that lies ahead-because we will. The important questions are how well we can work together to protect all young children and their families and how much we will learn from this unprecedented challenge and make necessary changes for the future. Please remain connected, stay safe, and share your creative ideas so we can all learn from them.

Jack P. Shonkoff, M.D.
Director
Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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Stress, Hope, and the Role of Science: Responding to the Coronavirus Pandemic

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The COVID-19 pandemic has the capacity to affect every person in the world-and how each individual responds can potentially affect everyone else. In addition to the efforts of courageous health care providers, first responders, and a wide range of workers providing other vital services, countless numbers of selfless individuals are leaping into action to meet the rapidly changing needs of people most affected by the economic, social, and health impacts of this crisis.

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ct.gov/coronavirus

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CT.gov - Connecticut's Official State Website

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Giving Birth During the COVID 19 Crisis

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A global pandemic adds several more layers of logistical and emotional overwhelm to the already overwhelming time of new parenthood.

The Atlantic

Every birth of a human baby is difficult-difficult to prepare for, difficult to execute, difficult to adjust to afterward. Living under lockdown conditions while a pandemic encircles the globe is also difficult, logistically as well as psychologically. At this very moment, hundreds of thousands of pregnant Americans are preparing to do both of those things at the same time.

Each day in the United States, more than 10,000 babies, on average, are born. A lot of things will change in the U.S. under the new protocols aimed to curb the spread of COVID-19, but this fact will not. Schools, churches, day-care centers, bars, and restaurants will be closed for weeks or months; travel will be severely interrupted; and entire sports seasons will be postponed and rescheduled for the fall. But babies will still be born-even though the conditions under which people prepare, give birth, and care for their new babies will be radically altered. The coronavirus is adding practical and emotional layers of overwhelm to a time that is, even under normal circumstances, overwhelming.

THE NINTH MONTH

Elise Batscha is expecting her second baby, a little brother for her two-year-old son, in early April. As recently as a month ago, she was planning to spend her last few weeks of pregnancy relaxing and mentally preparing herself for kid number two-spending a weekend in New Jersey with some girlfriends, making final arrangements for her parents to fly in and help out with the new baby, maybe getting a massage. Instead, she's planning for a whole new set of contingencies.

She's worried about shortages in her neighborhood in Brooklyn, for one thing. As people rush to batten down the hatches and stock up their homes, grocery stores are already looking barren; in the coming months, global supply-chain issues could exacerbate the problem. So Batscha, and no doubt many other soon-to-be parents, are stocking their homes with things they wouldn't ordinarily.

"There's a shortage, for example, with toilet paper and paper towels-so I don't know if there's going to be a shortage on [maxi] pads," Batscha said. Since bodies that have just given birth tend to bleed heavily for a few weeks afterward, she's already placed orders online for a bunch of postpartum and super-absorbency maxi pads. Before the threat of a pandemic, she said, "I took for granted that I could just order this stuff through Amazon Prime and it would arrive the next day."
Read: The demystification of the postpartum female body
She's also mentally fast-forwarding to the coming months of infant care-and she's preparing for a worst-case scenario there, too. Batscha, who breastfed her first son for more than a year after he was born, has been closely monitoring authorities' evolving advice for breastfeeding parents. At this point, the CDC's website informs readers that in the few studies that have been conducted, COVID-19 "has not been detected in breast milk; however we do not know whether mothers with COVID-19 can transmit the virus via breast milk." Because there's uncertainty, Batscha is planning to stock her home with baby formula, in case she gets sick. She hopes she'll never have to use it: "Ideally, nobody has [COVID-19] in this house, and this isn't a concern. But if something happens and we need to act very quickly," she said, "I just want to feel as if his nutrition needs are also met if I can't meet them."

Batscha has also seen all the plans she had squared away months ago for labor and delivery get thrown into jeopardy. Her hospital is an hour away, in Upper Manhattan, and because Americans have been advised to practice aggressive social distancing, she's not sure who will be able to look after her son when she goes into labor. The original plan was for both the Batschas' nanny and their best friends to have a key to their home and be on call. "But what if my nanny or my best friends get [the virus]? Who, then, comes to watch our son? Does my husband stay at home and I go to the hospital by myself?"

For now, she's accepted that the plan could shift any day. "Every couple days, we'll have to just be like, 'Okay, these people are all still healthy. This is plan A, this is plan B,'" she said.
Read: Dear Therapist's guide to staying sane during a pandemic
For now, Batscha is doing her best to adapt her month-nine relaxation plans to comply with the new guidance on staying safe-for her own health, for that of her new baby, and for that of her parents, who are planning to drive up from North Carolina after the baby is born (provided everyone stays healthy). She told me she feels a little shortchanged that she hasn't been able to spend her last month of pregnancy relaxing and seeing friends. But on the day before we spoke, she had managed to snag a moment for herself: She walked to the park during the day with her dog, where she sat on a bench, plugged her headphones into her phone, and watched Netflix shows while she ate lunch. "I felt the sun beating down on me and it just felt refreshing-to, you know, be outside, have that fresh air, and find a little bit of mental clarity."

BIRTH

When I first spoke to Stevie Merino on Thursday of last week, she was worried about hospitals tightening up their visitor policies. As a doula, even though she goes to hospitals specifically to assist people as they give birth, she's technically considered a visitor. While some hospitals in her hometown of Los Angeles had preexisting rules that restricted the number of delivery-room visitors to just two, she said, "if they get restricted to one, that will definitely cause a lot of people to reconsider having doulas." By the weekend, Merino had been personally affected by hospitals doing just that.

Ever since the novel coronavirus became a global threat, many hospitals around the United States have instituted these visitor-limitation policies. Some hospitals, like the George Washington University Hospital in Washington, D.C., have temporarily restricted all visitors except those who are visiting end-of-life patients, those who are parents of a pediatric patient, and those who are there to support a patient in labor (limit: two total). The rules about who can visit the maternity and infant-care wards have caused some heartache: Restrictions like GWU's mean that patients in labor now may have to make difficult choices about who they want in the room with them, and that older siblings will meet their new brothers and sisters only when they come home from the hospital.

As a result of both tightened visitor policies and concerns about being in hospitals, potentially near COVID-19 patients, some Americans are switching at the last minute to home births. Others have dropped their doulas in favor of having their partners in the room. Merino told me that her clients who will now be unable to use her as a result of new policies were feeling anxious about losing that source of support during birth.

If plans for labor and delivery are up in the air at this point, so are plans for immediately after birth. Regan Theiler, an obstetrician at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, told me on Friday afternoon that their protocols for birth throughout the Mayo hospital system during the coronavirus pandemic were being written as we spoke. "We're deciding things like, if Mom is asymptomatic but tests positive, are we going to separate the baby from her? We're going to recommend separating the baby from her at birth if she is symptomatic, but if the test is pending, do we isolate the baby?" she said. It's obviously a huge and heart-wrenching decision to keep a mother from holding her new baby; these are the kind of devastating emotional side effects that a pandemic can produce.

At the moment, Theiler said, she and her staff were staying on the conservative side. "Let's say that Mom has a fever and her [COVID-19] test is pending. Everybody [attending to her] is going to be in respirators, the mom's going to be in a mask, and she's going to be in isolation," she said. "We're going to be talking about, can we pump the colostrum, can we pump the breast milk, in a clean fashion into bottles that we can take to the baby, so that we can get the physiologic benefits of the breast milk itself, even if we can't get the skin-to-skin [contact]?"

That said, Theiler told me, given the dearth of scientific understanding of the novel coronavirus, it's incredibly hard to make evidence-based policies to govern how the entire hospital system will work-and in the meantime, patient autonomy still has to be considered. "The CDC is recommending things like, you know, assessing the patient's wishes, whether she's symptomatic, and using physical barriers. Like, can [a new mother] still breastfeed? Yes, but consider a curtain," Theiler said. "Things like that, that are the sort of soft language we use when we really don't have the evidence we need to make firm decisions." (On Wednesday, Theiler wrote to me in an email that the Mayo Clinic would be counseling new mothers who tested positive or had symptoms of COVID-19, if their babies were healthy, about whether to "room in" or isolate their babies-but ultimately leaving the choice up to them. She also mentioned that the hospital system had instituted a policy of helping those mothers pump and delivering the milk to their babies, even if they were isolated.)

THE FIRST MONTH HOME

In many ways, the first weeks and months of having a new baby at home won't change much under coronavirus protocols: Even under normal circumstances, new parents are encouraged to keep infants away from crowds and sick people, which by default often means a lot of hunkering down at home. But one way in which that time at home is changing is that it could start quite a bit sooner.

At the Mayo Clinic, "low-risk" moms and babies are now routinely being sent home at 24 hours postpartum. "As much as we like to keep them for education and lactation and comfort for [up to] 48 hours," Theiler told me, "it may behoove us to get them out of the hospital earlier." That way, the hospital can both limit new babies' exposure to COVID-19 cases and conserve beds-"because we are predicting a surge."

Theiler worries, though, about the ramifications of releasing new parents back into homes where they'll have less support than usual. Phone calls, patient portals, and teleconferencing can facilitate follow-up appointments, lactation help, and even depression screenings. But self-isolation policies and guidelines will likely weigh on new parents at a time that can already be severely isolating, even without a pandemic.

"I think we need to be really concerned about these exhausted postpartum moms," Theiler said. They are "already at risk for significant depression and significant sleep disruption, and then to not have the normal social support that they would [otherwise] have-be it day care, church groups, or family-they certainly are at risk. Making sure that we adequately follow up with them, without increasing their risk by bringing them into the clinic frequently, is going to be high on our list of priorities."

Georgia Rubenstein's due date is this coming Friday. It's her first baby, and her mother has a plane ticket to come and help with the new baby later this month. When I asked about the status of those plans, Rubenstein's voice broke. "We keep saying, 'Oh, it's changing so fast, we'll check in closer to the day,'" Rubenstein told me. "But, increasingly, I don't know what could possibly change to make us think that it's fine [for her to come]." For one thing, she doesn't want her mother to bring potentially deadly germs picked up en route into a home with a tiny infant; for another, she doesn't want her mother to catch the virus, especially while traveling.
Read: Coronavirus risk doesn't stop at your front door
Thinking about having a new baby at home without her mom around also makes Rubenstein cry. "My biggest worry is that my partner gets sick, or I get sick. That one of us is having to take care of both of us, the baby and the other person," she said. "And we don't know how long it's gonna be-I don't know when [my mom] is even going to be able to see the baby."

Rubenstein's new reality is the one faced by thousands of people due to give birth in the coming days, weeks, and months. Elise Batscha and her husband, too, will have less external support in the first weeks home than she initially planned; her mother-in-law, who's over 70, canceled her trip out from New Mexico. "It was really tough," Batscha said, to get that news.

However, Batscha and Rubenstein both emphasized that it was the smaller measures that made them feel calm, that gave them a small sense of control in a time when little is going as planned. After we talked, Rubenstein was going to turn off her phone and clean a window she's been meaning to clean. Meanwhile, Batscha was planning a quick and careful trip to Whole Foods. She wanted to buy a bunch of baking supplies so she could "just start making, I don't know-cakes, and cookies," she said. "Things that make me happy."

We want to hear what you think about this article. Submit a letter to the editor or write to letters@theatlantic.com.

Ashley Fetters is a staff writer at The Atlantic.

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dearth of scientific understanding of the novel coronavirus

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COVID-19 Is Upending Parents' Birth Plans

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A global pandemic adds several more layers of logistical and emotional overwhelm to the already overwhelming time of new parenthood. Every birth of a human baby is difficult-difficult to prepare for, difficult to execute, difficult to adjust to afterward. Living under lockdown conditions while a pandemic encircles the globe is also difficult, logistically as well as psychologically.

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Unlocking Us Podcast

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The first Unlocking Us podcast is here! Along with the excitement of sending this into the world, I'm feeling equal doses of fear, awkwardness, and vulnerability. In this episode I talk about my strategy for staying in tough first times versus tapping out and shutting down. When we get to the point that we only do things that we're already good at doing, we stop growing. And truly living.

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston, where she holds the Huffington Foundation Endowed Chair at the Graduate College of Social Work. She also holds the position of visiting professor in management at the University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business.

Brené has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She is the author of six #1 New York Times best sellers and is the host of two award-winning Spotify podcasts, Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead.

Brené's books have been translated into more than 30 languages, and her titles include Atlas of the Heart, Dare to Lead, Braving the Wilderness, Rising Strong, Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of Imperfection. With Tarana Burke, she co-edited the best-selling anthology You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience.

Brené's TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability is one of the top five most-viewed TED talks in the world, with over 50 million views. Brené is the first researcher to have a filmed lecture on Netflix, and in March 2022, she launched a new show on HBO Max that focuses on her latest book, Atlas of the Heart.

Brené spends most of her time working in organizations around the world, helping develop braver leaders and more-courageous cultures.

She lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband, Steve. They have two children, Ellen and Charlie, and a weird Bichon named Lucy.

Follow Brené

Brené Brown: Hi everyone, I'm Brené Brown, and this is Unlocking Us. You can hear me, like you can hear me smiling through my talking here. This is our very first Unlocking Us podcast and I am... I'm somewhere at the intersection of like maybe scared and excited, which is an intersection that I frequent often, but you'd think it'd get easier, but it doesn't always get easier. I think I've recorded three episodes, and I have to say, I love it. I want to do this for the rest of my life. As much as I love giving talks, I think I like listening even more. I love listening, I love learning, I love talking to people, and I've been an interviewer for 20 years, 25 years, it's just my... It's my thing. So welcome to the first episode of Unlocking Us. I will tell you this, and this is what we're going to talk about FFTs today, and here's where I'll start. As much as I love this new podcast, what I don't love is being new at things, and we're going to talk about being new at things today. I think for all of us, being new at something is incredibly vulnerable. Even when we're excited and committed and we're like, "I'm going to do this. I'm going to try this new thing," the awkward, uncomfortable time comes right after the excitement and it feels awful. And I can tell you if the definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure, then being new at something is the epitome of vulnerability.

BB: What's also tricky, I think for me is, by the time you reach middle age, which I define "somewhere between late 30s and dead", by the time you reach middle age, you know that the only way to get to the other side of the discomfort of being new is to push right through the middle. Experience teaches us that as much as we want to fast forward through the hard, rocky parts of doing something that we've never done before, we just can't. And being new... Being new at big things is hard, but it's not just life's big moments, like new jobs or new roles or moving in with a new partner for the first time or having a baby, it's not just the big things that are tough when it comes to being new. Little things, small daily things can also push us in really tough ways. I'll give you an example. I have a Peloton bicycle. I'm sitting here with my sister Barrett, would you call it a bicycle, like...

Barrett Guillen: Bicycle.

BB: Are you sure?

BG: Yeah.

BB: She's shrugging her shoulders like, "I don't know. Don't put me on the spot." I don't know, I have a Peloton bike, I'm going to say that because that sounds cooler. I have a Peloton bike, so like... For spinning classes. So, I have a Peloton bike and I was so excited to get started, and the first five times I rode it, the whole time, I had this... I have a very difficult habit that when I'm trying something new, and I feel scared and like everyone is going to judge me, I always go to the, "This is bullshit. This is just bullshit." You should have seen me on this bike. I could not get clipped into it, so the first time I rode it, I rode it for 30 minutes, not even watching a class, just by myself, not clipped in, it didn't work at all. Then I finally learned how to get clipped into it, and I left my shoes clipped into my bicycle, my bike for three months. For three months, my bike just sat in my study with the shoes attached to it, because I couldn't get them off, I didn't know how to do it. Now I can get on and off and ride it but being new is hard. Another great small example. I just got bangs. Now, I have not had bangs since the '90s. And back then, they were like your standard issue breakup bangs. They came with a cigarette and a wine cooler, and you got them cut right after some asshole broke up with you.

BB: So, I got bangs. How long ago did I get bangs, about a month ago, two? About a month ago? [chuckle] I got bangs. And when I left the... I was going to call it a beauty parlor, but we'll call it... What's this... Salon. [chuckle] I need like a "what's cool?" translator for my podcast, I need to put something on the microphone so that when I say, "I left my pocketbook on the drainboard," it translates it to, "I left my purse on the counter." Anyway, so I got these bangs, and I was leaving the salon, because I'm too cool to go to a beauty parlor, but I left the salon and I thought they looked so cute. Well, let me just tell you, for the next four to five days, at least, I'd be late for work, I couldn't get my hair to work, all I could do is resort back to my... I had to rely on muscle memory in my wrist and my round brush and... Let me just tell you, I looked like Vince Neil. And if you don't know who Vince Neil is, you can Google Mötley Crüe, 1985. I just had big '80s hair, and everyone was trying to be very supportive. They would say things like, "Wow, still looks good after all these years. [chuckle] Would you like a wine cooler?" So hard things, hard where... New is hard and we don't like the discomfort.

BB: But something that I've seen over the past 20 years has really scared me. The last 20 years of research, I've seen how sometimes we all get so afraid of the vulnerability that we actually stop trying or doing anything that we're not already good at doing. So if it's not already comfortable, if we already don't have some expertise, if we don't already know how to do it and do it well, we're not doing it. Here's what's hard, and I think scary about that. When we give up being new and awkward, we stop growing, and we stop growing, we stop living. I love that quote from Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living or get busy dying." When we stop growing, we start declining, there's no neutral here. When we no longer feel that discomfort of being new, of being an awkward learner, things start to shut down inside of us. The discomfort of exploration of doing new things, of being an awkward rookie again, that's the juice, it's our lifeblood. It's the secret sauce.

BB: And here's the even bigger news, I think. The more we're willing to embrace the suck and try new things, the more new things we're willing to try. And it's not because being new gets comfortable, it's because we learn how to normalize discomfort. If there's one thing I know for sure, normalizing discomfort, learning how to stay standing in the midst of feeling unsure and uncertain, that's the foundation of courage. Imagine what it would be like to know that you can get through something that's vulnerable and uncomfortable, that you have what it takes to survive the cringey, awkward moments, as my kids would say, "That's so cringey, mom." Knowing that we have the strength to survive those moments and come out on the other side with new information, new ideas, new habits, new skills, that's how we get braver with our lives and with our hearts.

BB: So I want to share a strategy with you for embracing the suck of new, and I'm going to confess that I am 100% leaning in to that strategy right now. The strategy is called the FFT. Now, if you're social distancing right now, and you're home with your kids... And you're home with your kids, and someone who filters the language they hear, I'd like for you to walk slowly and calmly to your phone and take it off speaker. I'm going to tell you what FFT stands for. You may not want to blast this, or you may want to. Take your phone and hold it up to your ear for just a sec. I'll give you five, four, three, two, one. Okay, FFT stands for Fucking First Time, and right now it is saving me. I am white knuckling about five different FFTs right now, and without this strategy, I'd be out of my mind. The first most powerful part of the strategy is naming the FFT when you're in it, "Hey, what is going on right now? Why am I... Why do I feel out of control? Why do I feel like I don't know what I'm doing? Why am I in a shame spiral? Why am I so confused?" I'm like, "Is this an FFT? I'm in an FFT." So naming it is key to understanding it, because we're meaning-making species. We've got to have the meaning and we have to have language as a handle. So first we identify that we're in an FFT and we name it.

BB: Sometimes, and this is a really big myth, sometimes we're afraid to name experiences or feelings because we think naming them gives them power, and if we're feeling something hard or uncomfortable, the last thing we want to do is give it power. Let me dispel this myth now with 400,000 pieces of data and 20 years of research. When we name and own hard things, it does not give them power, it gives us power. And what do I mean by power? The best definition of power that I think exists in the world is from Martin Luther King Jr., "Power is the ability to effect change and achieve purpose." So if we put it all together, when we name and own hard things, it doesn't give the hard things power, it gives us the power to effect change and achieve purpose. So if we can say, "Oh my God, this is hard because I'm in an FFT," again, maybe it's something small, like trying to fix my bangs or ride my new bike, or your first yoga with goats class, or a new job, or a new relationship, "Why is this so hard? Oh, FFT. I'm in the FFT."

BB: And naming the FFT leads to three steps. One, we can normalize it, "Oh, this is exactly how new is supposed to feel. This is uncomfortable because brave is uncomfortable." Two, we can put it in perspective, "This feeling is not permanent, and it doesn't mean I suck at everything. It means I'm in the middle of an FFT around this one thing." Three, I can reality check my expectations, "This is going to suck for a while. I'm not going to crush this right away." And if you're interested in teaching your kids the FFT strategy, you can always call it TFT, terrible first times. And remember, the thing to teach them is when you're in a TFT, when they're at that first gymnastics class, or their first Spanish class, or their first spelling bee, or the first date, or the first time driving, when you're in a TFT, a terrible first time, what you're trying to do is normalize it, put it in perspective, and reality check your expectations.

BB: A great example that I can give you around the FFT and being new is when you're newly sober and you're working a 12-step program or many of the other programs, people will say you need to go to six meetings in six days, or you need to go to 10 meetings in 10 days. Why? Because expectation says, "I'm going to go to a meeting, someone's going to say something, and I'm going to be cured." We have terrible expectations around first times. We just set ourselves up for such shame and such disaster with our expectations. So if you go to six meetings in six days, this is how it normally works: Meeting one, it's the Brené approach, "This is bullshit. I don't know what I'm doing here, and these people are mostly losers, and I'm better than everyone here." Day two, "Okay, this again, just confirming what I thought. I shouldn't be here, I'm better than everyone here." Day three, "Well, I mean, maybe I'm not better than everyone here, maybe some of the things I'm hearing, maybe they're resonating, but this shit smells like cigarettes, and it's stale, the coffee is horrible. I just... It's not for me." Day four, "Okay, these are my people, and I need a cigarette and a cup of coffee, really bad coffee." That's the way it works. And so, name the FFT, and that leads us to normalizing, putting things in perspective, and reality checking.

BB: So I'm going to walk you through a couple of examples in my own life right now. And this is pretty vulnerable for me, but I thought, "Screw it. It's the first podcast. Go vulnerable or go home," that's my new motto. But I'm in a lot of FFTs right now. The podcast is one, advertising, which is part of the podcast, is another. And I'm not sure about you, but this is my first f'ing global pandemic. So I'm going to just be super honest with you about what FFTs feel like for me right now and walk you through naming them, what was going on before I named them, and then how I normalized, put things in perspective, and started reality checking.

BB: So let's start with the podcast, because you're here with me in it right now. You're not in an FFT because you're probably not listening to your first podcast, but I am in my FFT, and I'll tell you why.

BB: Because I did my first podcast... When did... When did I Thought It Was Just Me come out, like 2007? So I did my first podcast in 2007, I bought a little microphone, I set it up in my red kitchen table, and I did a read along podcast for 10 weeks, and it was so much fun, but then it kind of went away, and it got complicated for me, and I didn't know how to do all the feeds, at that time. It was hard, and I was doing it on GarageBand which seemed super complicated for me, so I kind of gave it up, but it's never left the back of my mind. And I just... To be honest with you, this has always felt like my dream job or dream medium, is building community and having real hard conversations about everything, from love to heart break. This is what I want to do.

BB: So we decided, "This is it, we're going to podcast." So we went whole hog. We transformed the downstairs space in our office to a beautiful podcast room with a green room, we found a wonderful partner, we set up interviews, we set up a big launch at South by Southwest, we did everything in my dream scape for this podcast, and then Corona came, and now I'm in a closet on top of my son's dirty Under Armour clothes. And, I have to say that I recorded my first podcast a couple of days ago, then after I recorded, I said, "I don't want to go on with my podcast to my community the first time, with other people. I just want to talk directly to y'all." I had to practice saying hi, I have to think about it right now, wait, do I have it written down somewhere, do I have a post it note? Check.

BG: Hey, everyone.

BB: No, oh, is it hey everyone?

BG: Yeah.

BB: What am I saying?

BG: Hey, everyone. This is Brené.

BB: Do I say hey or hi?

BG: Hi.

BB: Oh, hi, yeah. See, you suck too. [laughter] FFT. Hi, everyone. I'm Brené Brown.

BB: And this is Unlocking Us. [laughter] God, you see. I have practiced that 30 times because I didn't like it at first because it lacked something. So for some reason, I thought I would do something more around, "Hey, guys and gals, dolls and... " I don't know what comes with a doll, and my sister looked at me and said, "I think that's the guy from Grease. " I was like, "Shut up." It took me like 20 times to get this right, and I still can't really do it without looking. Then I tried to do something more serious, where I was going to get really close to the mic, because I saw that in a movie and I said, "Somewhere I saw this great podcaster talking into a mic with this kind of like... Not a sexy voice, but more of a, 'Hi, everyone, this is Brené Brown.'" Then I thought to myself, "Check, no, that's Pirate Radio. And he was the crazy guy who unzipped his pants and made the zipper sounds on his radio station as they were broadcasting from the ship."

BB: So all I'm saying is that I'm in an FFT, I don't know how it's all going to work. I don't know how it's all going to sound, but what I know is that I'm in an FFT, and it's hard and I want to be myself, but in those f'ing first times, we have a tendency to armor up and protect, and do things from movies or other ideas that usually move us away from being ourselves. In fact, when things started canceling and shifting, I called an emergency meeting of our leadership team, and within five minutes, we were all frustrated and we were kind of vying for, "Who's the most overwhelmed?" Is that true?

BG: Yes.

BB: And I just kept saying, "Y'all, the wheels are falling off of the podcast, the shit is hitting the fan, what's happening?" And then finally, and it might have been you, was it you Barrett? Someone said, maybe Suzanne, someone said, "FFT, we're in an FFT." It was like opening that little knob on the Instant Pot, wasn't it?

BG: Yes.

BB: It was like shhhhhh, just the pressure relief. Just naming it. We were like, "We're in an FFT." So what are the three things in an FFT? Normalize it, put it in perspective, reality check. So normalize it; This is exactly how we're supposed to feel, this is new, we don't know what we're doing. That's why it's so wobbly. That's why we're scared. That's why we don't know. We can't draw on history, we can't draw on experience, we can't say, "Oh, this is the way we did it, this is the way we really crushed it back when we did that podcast in '85." We are coming atcha, from a pile of dirty clothes, in a closet, without a net, because we're FFT'ing. Put it in perspective; The simple thing, again, not permanent, it doesn't mean we suck at everything. Let's remember, for us, this is how we're getting our FFT, getting through our FFT with a podcast, in five days, five weeks, or five months, when we look back, we might laugh a little and we will for sure say, "Do you remember when that was so hard? And here are the 25 things that we were super sure about doing back then that we would never do again." That's the reality of the first time, that's why it's the secret sauce, that's why it's the juice, that's why it keeps us growing and our brains firing. Last, reality checking expectations; Here is the universal reality check in the FFT, whether it is a parenting FFT, whether it is a professional FFT, this is a heavier lift than what we thought or expected.

BB: An emotionally heavier lift, a physically heavier lift, a strategy resource heavier lift. This is harder than we thought, and it's scary. So when you're in the FFT, you've got to remind yourself, it's going to take twice as long, be 10 times as hard, and I personally am going to be 25% more pissed off all the time because I don't do wobbly. And this is a great time, first podcast, I think I should just clear this up with them right now. If you're thinking Brené doesn't do wobbly? She's like the patron saint of vulnerability. The joke's on all of us. I believe in vulnerability, I try to practice it. I'm not really into it. I am not it. I am not. Don't let me be the representative of vulnerability. I'm the researcher, not the representative. I don't like wobbly. The other things that were shocking, when I say, "Reality check your expectation; the lift is going to be worse."

BB: So our partners Cadence13. We love them. They sent their audio engineer down to Houston to take our beautiful podcast space and set it up. So I thought he was going to come with maybe a handle bag, like a Nordstrom size handle bag with some microphones. I walk into the podcast space, there are 20 boxes, and he's under the table with a drill. And he kind of slides out and says, "Hey, your grandpa didn't build this or anything, right? I'm just drilling all into it." It took three 12-hour days to set up the podcast room, and 50 boxes of stuff.

BB: If you're like me, and you're not good at estimating time or energy or effort, the FFT will really F you up because it's always going to be harder than you thought. It's just going to be new, wobbly. But here's the thing new, wobbly, honest, coming right at you from the dirty clothes in the closet, in social distancing right now, I'm super glad you're here. Second thing that's very, very scary for me right now is advertising on this podcast. I've never done a paid ad in my life. I don't even stand close to podiums with brands on them when I speak in public. I don't talk about brands, nothing, nada. I think that's partly because of my academic training. If you do any type of brand work or take any money even like, I think it's over $5 or something. There's a shit ton of paperwork and I'm just not great at... I'm the paperwork person... I do the paperwork when I get the 14th email that says, "We're revoking everything, including your birth certificate." So I've never done any kind of brand work, ad work. I've just never done it.

BB: We went with an advertising model for this podcast because it makes the most sense to us. It's free, you can... Everyone can get it. But there are ads. And there have to be ads because we have a team of 10 people, and we have a huge partner, and people need to make a living. And it's not that I can't evangelize a product. So I come from a long line of evangelists. I have these very vivid memories of sitting at my grandmother's table in San Antonio, south side of San Antonio, over if you're San Antonian, hey, hey, over by McCreless Mall. And she'd come out of the kitchen wearing... She always wore a patchwork housecoat that snapped at the front, with pearl snaps, and she has square-toed cowboy boots, kind of like a bronzy leather with Eagles stamped on both sides of them. And she wore black cat-eye glasses until the very end, and I remember very distinctly sitting there one day, and I was sitting there with Curley, her husband who was a forklift driver for Pearl Brewery and said, "This is Jimmy Dean's new sausage. It has sage in it. Sage is a spice. This is the best sausage I've ever had, and you can get it too in the frozen food aisle at the Piggly Wiggly." She was the best ad person of her time.

BB: My mom was the same way. So she's... My mom still does ads, all the time. She'll say, "Try this lotion." "Oh, I'm good Ma." "Try this lotion. It's both silk and smoothing, but won't leave you feeling... " [chuckle] Okay, yes or no? I don't know. I don't know. We just have it. So I come from a long maternal line of cursers and evangelists. But I'm still anxious about it because I don't want to go through the new part of it. What if I can't do it? What if it sounds weird? What if I'm ridiculous? What if I'm embarrassed or I go into a shame spiral while I'm trying to say something? I just... It's going to be hard.

BB: So, I had a little FFT breakdown about the advertising. And my team looked at me and said, "FFT Brené. Normalize it, this is the first time. Put it into perspective, it won't always be hard, and set realistic expectations." I said, "What does that mean?" And they said, "Reality check the expectations, not only of yourself but the people around you. When we're in FFT, we have to reality set expectations for everyone." So I said, "Okay, let me think about this." Reality check expectations, even with external partners. Even if you're with your family, don't just reality check your expectations. Reality check them with your partner, with your kids. So I said, "Okay." We sat down, big leadership meeting, everyone from Cadence13, everyone from our side and I just was completely honest about expectations. I basically said, "I've got good news and bad news about the advertising. Good news, I can get really excited about things I love. The bad news, I will do no ads, zero, for anything that I do not love, period. If I don't love it, I'm not going to talk about it. And when I do talk about it, I'm not going to read anyone's copy." And you could just kind of see their faces going...

BB: Maybe I threw them into the... Maybe I threw them into an FFT. Oh, I definitely... [chuckle] Barrett's laughing and smiling. We definitely threw them into an FFT, and they said, "Say more about not reading the copy and only things you love." And I said, "I can't bullshit this community because I've spent over a decade building this community and I trust them, and I think they trust me." So if I love it, I'll talk to them about it freely, but I'm going to tell stories about it, and my own stories about it and why I love it, and that's not reading ad copy, and if I have never tried it or I just kind of like it a bit, I'm not going to sell it to them any more than I'd sell it to people that I love. So here's the thing, ads start next week. Our ad policy is straightforward, I like to call it, all BB, no BS. If I'm advertising it, then I believe in it, I'll tell you the story about why I love it, listen to it, use it or do it, and you can count on me for that.

BB: So normalize, this is new and sometimes I have intentionally stayed away from things like this. I feel weird but I feel less weird when I'm in my values. Perspective, I can't feel weird forever. I might even start to enjoy telling you about things I love. And expectations, there's this great quote... We're reality checking expectations as a part of dealing with our FFT. So this quote that I love, I've seen it attributed to Nelson Mandela, I've seen it attributed to Anne Lamott, well suffice it to say that some really smart person said, "Expectations are just resentments waiting to happen." So when as part of... In our FFT, we're in something new and hard, reality check expectations and that really minimizes resentment, I have saved the hardest FFT for last, the COV1D-19 pandemic. I think it's safe to say that this pandemic is a collective FFT, so let's just name that right off the bat.

BB: We don't know what we're doing, many of us are trying to make our kids feel reassured when we don't feel sure about anything, we're trying to be normal, but nothing is normal. And can I just also say it's the worst FFT ever? I mean, I'm a grown-ass person, but I do not know what I'm doing. So if I take the strategy that I use personally and professionally for the FFT, and we normalize it, put it in perspective and reality check expectations, here's what that looks like for me. Normalize it, we don't know how to do this, and by "this" I mean, we don't know how to social distance and stay sane. We don't know how to stay socially connected, but far apart. We're learning and we're getting better, and you can see that every day. We don't know what to tell our kids, we don't know exactly how to homeschool. I saw something on TikTok or Instagram that said, "I have home schooled for one day, every teacher should make one billion dollars a day."

BB: We don't know exactly what we're doing, we're anxious, we're uncertain, we are, a lot of us, afraid, and it is okay to feel all those feelings. And let me tell you this for sure, and I know this from my life, I know this from again, 20 years of research and 400,000 pieces of data, if you don't name what you're feeling, if you don't own the feelings and feel them, they will eat you alive. And if you're a parent, you can give your kids a sense of safety while also modeling and teaching them what not knowing and uncertainty looks and feels like. Helping your kids feel safe and secure during this time of uncertainty, and modeling what uncertainty can look like and feel like are not mutually exclusive. It is... That is that dual mind, that's being able to hold two different things that have a lot of tension and to have the strength to hold things like that, is really how we measure human intelligence and emotional intelligence.

BB: I know we want to try to make everything certain for our kids, and we think that's what makes them feel safe, but what happens is when they're away from us and then they feel uncertain, they think that automatically means they're unsafe and that's not the truth. So we can say, "We don't know what's happening, we're doing the best that we think we can do, it is scary, and that's okay to feel." But y'all, it's okay, let's just... It's okay to even be overwhelmed with emotion right now. You just have to name it and feel it, so if you're with people and you're social distancing with a group of people, have a check-in, one word to describe what you're feeling right now, one thing you're grateful for right now. If you're by yourself, reach out, and not text. Phone, or FaceTime, or Zoom, or something where you can see people or hear people, and just say, just check... One word check-in, "What's going on for you right now?"

BB: We did it to... Did we do that? Was that today? And we got everything from kind of settling in to uncertain to anxious, but just being able to say it, again, meaning-making species, we need language as handles to be able to say what we're feeling, to wrap words around it, allows us to start making meaning. Number two, putting this FFT of the pandemic in perspective, we don't know when this will end, but we do know it's not forever. And if you're a parent, remember that perspective is a function of experience, the less experience, the less perspective. If you have kids who are saying, "I'll never see my friends again," or, "I can't believe we're missing spring break." That lack of perspective is not always about selfishness, and we don't make them tougher or more empathic towards others by diminishing their feelings.

BB: Disappointment is something that a lot of us are feeling right now, and it's okay to feel disappointed. It's okay to be safe, have enough food, have some resources and still feel disappointed, because denying your disappointment doesn't make you more empathetic towards people who have it a lot worse than you do, it makes us less empathetic. So all of the feels, all okay. Name them and talk about them. And then reality checking expectations, we've got to be more patient with each other. And as Harriet Lerner, my friend, says, "Listen with the same passion that you have for being heard," that's hard, because I have a lot of passion for wanting to be heard, and sometimes not very much passion for listening. We have to ask for what we need. We have to reality-check ourselves when we start drifting towards so-called experts that know everything and are offering certainty.

BB: One of the scariest times for us collectively is when we're vulnerable, because when we're vulnerable, people who call themselves leaders or experts can pop up and quickly gain our trust by selling and peddling certainty to us. And anyone who's certain right now, in my opinion... I mean not certain like, "Social distancing will be helpful, hand washing," but can tell you, "This is exactly what's happening. This is exactly when it's going to end. This is exactly who's going to get sick. This is exactly... " Anyone who is telling, "It's not a big deal. We're all okay." Anyone who is using anything but science and facts to give you certainty right now, in my opinion, needs to be reality checked.

BB: Exercise, sleep if you can, and also... Listen, all of these TikToks and Instagrams and Facebooks of our Italian neighbors and friends on their porches, singing, dancing, doing exercises together, I want a reality check that they're a solid week ahead of us, and I don't think we saw that from them when they were in day three, or day two, or day four of social distancing or quarantine. If I had an instrument right now, I would ask for a tuba because I'm with my entire family, my extended family, then we busted my mom and her husband out of assisted living when they went into lockdown there. And I would ask for a tuba and then I would crawl inside of it and hide, and then I'd ask someone to push the tuba down the hill in our backyard and rolling into it, into like the lake in the tuba. I'm not... I'm not leading a band right now. I'm... We're having... Are we having kind of a hard time? I'm looking at Barrett.

BG: Yup.

BB: What would you say?

BG: A lot of hard conversations. Definitely FFTs, definitely having to ask for what we need, having to say, "This is how I'm feeling. This is how I'm experiencing this," and making sure that we're all on the same page is the only way we're getting through.

BB: Yeah, she's really... She's really good. We had a hard conversation today.

BG: True. [chuckle]

BB: We did, that's why I'd like to climb into a tuba and roll down the hill. I don't even know where that came from. It's just the visual I have right now.

BG: It's fair.

BB: It's fair. We can't give up on each other y'all. We're all we have, even in the FFTs. So we're going to drop this podcast every Wednesday, once we find our footing. Next week, we're going to drop podcasts Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday because we want to, and I'm excited about you hearing from some of the people I've interviewed. Monday, I'm talking to Tarana Burke, the founder of the "Me Too" movement, who is a dear friend, and we talk about everything from falling in love and sharing space with people that we love, namely, our partners. And then Tuesday, I'm going to talk to Glennon Doyle on her new book, Untamed. If you have not read Untamed yet, this is a book for these times, Untamed. It'll be really fun if you can get it, but what a great conversation I had with Glennon.

[music]

BB: I have not practiced a fancy sign off yet so I will just say I'm grateful for you, I think this is going to be fun. I think we're going to learn some stuff. I think we're going to get braver and hopefully unlock a little bit about what it means to be human in this crazy world. So this is Unlocking U s, thank you for listening.

© 2020 Brené Brown Education and Research Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

Brown, B. (Host). (2020, March 20). Brené on FFTs. [Audio podcast episode]. In Unlocking Us with Brené Brown. Cadence13. https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-ffts/

Brené Brown: Hi everyone, I'm Brené Brown, and this is Unlocking Us. You can hear me, like you can hear me smiling through my talking here. This is our very first Unlocking Us podcast and I am... I'm somewhere at the intersection of like maybe scared and excited, which is an intersection that I frequent often, but you'd think it'd get easier, but it doesn't always get easier. I think I've recorded three episodes, and I have to say, I love it. I want to do this for the rest of my life. As much as I love giving talks, I think I like listening even more. I love listening, I love learning, I love talking to people, and I've been an interviewer for 20 years, 25 years, it's just my... It's my thing. So welcome to the first episode of Unlocking Us. I will tell you this, and this is what we're going to talk about FFTs today, and here's where I'll start. As much as I love this new podcast, what I don't love is being new at things, and we're going to talk about being new at things today. I think for all of us, being new at something is incredibly vulnerable. Even when we're excited and committed and we're like, "I'm going to do this. I'm going to try this new thing," the awkward, uncomfortable time comes right after the excitement and it feels awful. And I can tell you if the definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure, then being new at something is the epitome of vulnerability.

BB: What's also tricky, I think for me is, by the time you reach middle age, which I define "somewhere between late 30s and dead", by the time you reach middle age, you know that the only way to get to the other side of the discomfort of being new is to push right through the middle. Experience teaches us that as much as we want to fast forward through the hard, rocky parts of doing something that we've never done before, we just can't. And being new... Being new at big things is hard, but it's not just life's big moments, like new jobs or new roles or moving in with a new partner for the first time or having a baby, it's not just the big things that are tough when it comes to being new. Little things, small daily things can also push us in really tough ways. I'll give you an example. I have a Peloton bicycle. I'm sitting here with my sister Barrett, would you call it a bicycle, like...

Barrett Guillen: Bicycle.

BB: Are you sure?

BG: Yeah.

BB: She's shrugging her shoulders like, "I don't know. Don't put me on the spot." I don't know, I have a Peloton bike, I'm going to say that because that sounds cooler. I have a Peloton bike, so like... For spinning classes. So, I have a Peloton bike and I was so excited to get started, and the first five times I rode it, the whole time, I had this... I have a very difficult habit that when I'm trying something new, and I feel scared and like everyone is going to judge me, I always go to the, "This is bullshit. This is just bullshit." You should have seen me on this bike. I could not get clipped into it, so the first time I rode it, I rode it for 30 minutes, not even watching a class, just by myself, not clipped in, it didn't work at all. Then I finally learned how to get clipped into it, and I left my shoes clipped into my bicycle, my bike for three months. For three months, my bike just sat in my study with the shoes attached to it, because I couldn't get them off, I didn't know how to do it. Now I can get on and off and ride it but being new is hard. Another great small example. I just got bangs. Now, I have not had bangs since the '90s. And back then, they were like your standard issue breakup bangs. They came with a cigarette and a wine cooler, and you got them cut right after some asshole broke up with you.

BB: So, I got bangs. How long ago did I get bangs, about a month ago, two? About a month ago? [chuckle] I got bangs. And when I left the... I was going to call it a beauty parlor, but we'll call it... What's this... Salon. [chuckle] I need like a "what's cool?" translator for my podcast, I need to put something on the microphone so that when I say, "I left my pocketbook on the drainboard," it translates it to, "I left my purse on the counter." Anyway, so I got these bangs, and I was leaving the salon, because I'm too cool to go to a beauty parlor, but I left the salon and I thought they looked so cute. Well, let me just tell you, for the next four to five days, at least, I'd be late for work, I couldn't get my hair to work, all I could do is resort back to my... I had to rely on muscle memory in my wrist and my round brush and... Let me just tell you, I looked like Vince Neil. And if you don't know who Vince Neil is, you can Google Mötley Crüe, 1985. I just had big '80s hair, and everyone was trying to be very supportive. They would say things like, "Wow, still looks good after all these years. [chuckle] Would you like a wine cooler?" So hard things, hard where... New is hard and we don't like the discomfort.

BB: But something that I've seen over the past 20 years has really scared me. The last 20 years of research, I've seen how sometimes we all get so afraid of the vulnerability that we actually stop trying or doing anything that we're not already good at doing. So if it's not already comfortable, if we already don't have some expertise, if we don't already know how to do it and do it well, we're not doing it. Here's what's hard, and I think scary about that. When we give up being new and awkward, we stop growing, and we stop growing, we stop living. I love that quote from Shawshank Redemption, "Get busy living or get busy dying." When we stop growing, we start declining, there's no neutral here. When we no longer feel that discomfort of being new, of being an awkward learner, things start to shut down inside of us. The discomfort of exploration of doing new things, of being an awkward rookie again, that's the juice, it's our lifeblood. It's the secret sauce.

BB: And here's the even bigger news, I think. The more we're willing to embrace the suck and try new things, the more new things we're willing to try. And it's not because being new gets comfortable, it's because we learn how to normalize discomfort. If there's one thing I know for sure, normalizing discomfort, learning how to stay standing in the midst of feeling unsure and uncertain, that's the foundation of courage. Imagine what it would be like to know that you can get through something that's vulnerable and uncomfortable, that you have what it takes to survive the cringey, awkward moments, as my kids would say, "That's so cringey, mom." Knowing that we have the strength to survive those moments and come out on the other side with new information, new ideas, new habits, new skills, that's how we get braver with our lives and with our hearts.

BB: So I want to share a strategy with you for embracing the suck of new, and I'm going to confess that I am 100% leaning in to that strategy right now. The strategy is called the FFT. Now, if you're social distancing right now, and you're home with your kids... And you're home with your kids, and someone who filters the language they hear, I'd like for you to walk slowly and calmly to your phone and take it off speaker. I'm going to tell you what FFT stands for. You may not want to blast this, or you may want to. Take your phone and hold it up to your ear for just a sec. I'll give you five, four, three, two, one. Okay, FFT stands for Fucking First Time, and right now it is saving me. I am white knuckling about five different FFTs right now, and without this strategy, I'd be out of my mind. The first most powerful part of the strategy is naming the FFT when you're in it, "Hey, what is going on right now? Why am I... Why do I feel out of control? Why do I feel like I don't know what I'm doing? Why am I in a shame spiral? Why am I so confused?" I'm like, "Is this an FFT? I'm in an FFT." So naming it is key to understanding it, because we're meaning-making species. We've got to have the meaning and we have to have language as a handle. So first we identify that we're in an FFT and we name it.

BB: Sometimes, and this is a really big myth, sometimes we're afraid to name experiences or feelings because we think naming them gives them power, and if we're feeling something hard or uncomfortable, the last thing we want to do is give it power. Let me dispel this myth now with 400,000 pieces of data and 20 years of research. When we name and own hard things, it does not give them power, it gives us power. And what do I mean by power? The best definition of power that I think exists in the world is from Martin Luther King Jr., "Power is the ability to effect change and achieve purpose." So if we put it all together, when we name and own hard things, it doesn't give the hard things power, it gives us the power to effect change and achieve purpose. So if we can say, "Oh my God, this is hard because I'm in an FFT," again, maybe it's something small, like trying to fix my bangs or ride my new bike, or your first yoga with goats class, or a new job, or a new relationship, "Why is this so hard? Oh, FFT. I'm in the FFT."

BB: And naming the FFT leads to three steps. One, we can normalize it, "Oh, this is exactly how new is supposed to feel. This is uncomfortable because brave is uncomfortable." Two, we can put it in perspective, "This feeling is not permanent, and it doesn't mean I suck at everything. It means I'm in the middle of an FFT around this one thing." Three, I can reality check my expectations, "This is going to suck for a while. I'm not going to crush this right away." And if you're interested in teaching your kids the FFT strategy, you can always call it TFT, terrible first times. And remember, the thing to teach them is when you're in a TFT, when they're at that first gymnastics class, or their first Spanish class, or their first spelling bee, or the first date, or the first time driving, when you're in a TFT, a terrible first time, what you're trying to do is normalize it, put it in perspective, and reality check your expectations.

BB: A great example that I can give you around the FFT and being new is when you're newly sober and you're working a 12-step program or many of the other programs, people will say you need to go to six meetings in six days, or you need to go to 10 meetings in 10 days. Why? Because expectation says, "I'm going to go to a meeting, someone's going to say something, and I'm going to be cured." We have terrible expectations around first times. We just set ourselves up for such shame and such disaster with our expectations. So if you go to six meetings in six days, this is how it normally works: Meeting one, it's the Brené approach, "This is bullshit. I don't know what I'm doing here, and these people are mostly losers, and I'm better than everyone here." Day two, "Okay, this again, just confirming what I thought. I shouldn't be here, I'm better than everyone here." Day three, "Well, I mean, maybe I'm not better than everyone here, maybe some of the things I'm hearing, maybe they're resonating, but this shit smells like cigarettes, and it's stale, the coffee is horrible. I just... It's not for me." Day four, "Okay, these are my people, and I need a cigarette and a cup of coffee, really bad coffee." That's the way it works. And so, name the FFT, and that leads us to normalizing, putting things in perspective, and reality checking.

BB: So I'm going to walk you through a couple of examples in my own life right now. And this is pretty vulnerable for me, but I thought, "Screw it. It's the first podcast. Go vulnerable or go home," that's my new motto. But I'm in a lot of FFTs right now. The podcast is one, advertising, which is part of the podcast, is another. And I'm not sure about you, but this is my first f'ing global pandemic. So I'm going to just be super honest with you about what FFTs feel like for me right now and walk you through naming them, what was going on before I named them, and then how I normalized, put things in perspective, and started reality checking.

BB: So let's start with the podcast, because you're here with me in it right now. You're not in an FFT because you're probably not listening to your first podcast, but I am in my FFT, and I'll tell you why.

BB: Because I did my first podcast... When did... When did I Thought It Was Just Me come out, like 2007? So I did my first podcast in 2007, I bought a little microphone, I set it up in my red kitchen table, and I did a read along podcast for 10 weeks, and it was so much fun, but then it kind of went away, and it got complicated for me, and I didn't know how to do all the feeds, at that time. It was hard, and I was doing it on GarageBand which seemed super complicated for me, so I kind of gave it up, but it's never left the back of my mind. And I just... To be honest with you, this has always felt like my dream job or dream medium, is building community and having real hard conversations about everything, from love to heart break. This is what I want to do.

BB: So we decided, "This is it, we're going to podcast." So we went whole hog. We transformed the downstairs space in our office to a beautiful podcast room with a green room, we found a wonderful partner, we set up interviews, we set up a big launch at South by Southwest, we did everything in my dream scape for this podcast, and then Corona came, and now I'm in a closet on top of my son's dirty Under Armour clothes. And, I have to say that I recorded my first podcast a couple of days ago, then after I recorded, I said, "I don't want to go on with my podcast to my community the first time, with other people. I just want to talk directly to y'all." I had to practice saying hi, I have to think about it right now, wait, do I have it written down somewhere, do I have a post it note? Check.

BG: Hey, everyone.

BB: No, oh, is it hey everyone?

BG: Yeah.

BB: What am I saying?

BG: Hey, everyone. This is Brené.

BB: Do I say hey or hi?

BG: Hi.

BB: Oh, hi, yeah. See, you suck too. [laughter] FFT. Hi, everyone. I'm Brené Brown.

BB: And this is Unlocking Us. [laughter] God, you see. I have practiced that 30 times because I didn't like it at first because it lacked something. So for some reason, I thought I would do something more around, "Hey, guys and gals, dolls and... " I don't know what comes with a doll, and my sister looked at me and said, "I think that's the guy from Grease. " I was like, "Shut up." It took me like 20 times to get this right, and I still can't really do it without looking. Then I tried to do something more serious, where I was going to get really close to the mic, because I saw that in a movie and I said, "Somewhere I saw this great podcaster talking into a mic with this kind of like... Not a sexy voice, but more of a, 'Hi, everyone, this is Brené Brown.'" Then I thought to myself, "Check, no, that's Pirate Radio. And he was the crazy guy who unzipped his pants and made the zipper sounds on his radio station as they were broadcasting from the ship."

BB: So all I'm saying is that I'm in an FFT, I don't know how it's all going to work. I don't know how it's all going to sound, but what I know is that I'm in an FFT, and it's hard and I want to be myself, but in those f'ing first times, we have a tendency to armor up and protect, and do things from movies or other ideas that usually move us away from being ourselves. In fact, when things started canceling and shifting, I called an emergency meeting of our leadership team, and within five minutes, we were all frustrated and we were kind of vying for, "Who's the most overwhelmed?" Is that true?

BG: Yes.

BB: And I just kept saying, "Y'all, the wheels are falling off of the podcast, the shit is hitting the fan, what's happening?" And then finally, and it might have been you, was it you Barrett? Someone said, maybe Suzanne, someone said, "FFT, we're in an FFT." It was like opening that little knob on the Instant Pot, wasn't it?

BG: Yes.

BB: It was like shhhhhh, just the pressure relief. Just naming it. We were like, "We're in an FFT." So what are the three things in an FFT? Normalize it, put it in perspective, reality check. So normalize it; This is exactly how we're supposed to feel, this is new, we don't know what we're doing. That's why it's so wobbly. That's why we're scared. That's why we don't know. We can't draw on history, we can't draw on experience, we can't say, "Oh, this is the way we did it, this is the way we really crushed it back when we did that podcast in '85." We are coming atcha, from a pile of dirty clothes, in a closet, without a net, because we're FFT'ing. Put it in perspective; The simple thing, again, not permanent, it doesn't mean we suck at everything. Let's remember, for us, this is how we're getting our FFT, getting through our FFT with a podcast, in five days, five weeks, or five months, when we look back, we might laugh a little and we will for sure say, "Do you remember when that was so hard? And here are the 25 things that we were super sure about doing back then that we would never do again." That's the reality of the first time, that's why it's the secret sauce, that's why it's the juice, that's why it keeps us growing and our brains firing. Last, reality checking expectations; Here is the universal reality check in the FFT, whether it is a parenting FFT, whether it is a professional FFT, this is a heavier lift than what we thought or expected.

BB: An emotionally heavier lift, a physically heavier lift, a strategy resource heavier lift. This is harder than we thought, and it's scary. So when you're in the FFT, you've got to remind yourself, it's going to take twice as long, be 10 times as hard, and I personally am going to be 25% more pissed off all the time because I don't do wobbly. And this is a great time, first podcast, I think I should just clear this up with them right now. If you're thinking Brené doesn't do wobbly? She's like the patron saint of vulnerability. The joke's on all of us. I believe in vulnerability, I try to practice it. I'm not really into it. I am not it. I am not. Don't let me be the representative of vulnerability. I'm the researcher, not the representative. I don't like wobbly. The other things that were shocking, when I say, "Reality check your expectation; the lift is going to be worse."

BB: So our partners Cadence13. We love them. They sent their audio engineer down to Houston to take our beautiful podcast space and set it up. So I thought he was going to come with maybe a handle bag, like a Nordstrom size handle bag with some microphones. I walk into the podcast space, there are 20 boxes, and he's under the table with a drill. And he kind of slides out and says, "Hey, your grandpa didn't build this or anything, right? I'm just drilling all into it." It took three 12-hour days to set up the podcast room, and 50 boxes of stuff.

BB: If you're like me, and you're not good at estimating time or energy or effort, the FFT will really F you up because it's always going to be harder than you thought. It's just going to be new, wobbly. But here's the thing new, wobbly, honest, coming right at you from the dirty clothes in the closet, in social distancing right now, I'm super glad you're here. Second thing that's very, very scary for me right now is advertising on this podcast. I've never done a paid ad in my life. I don't even stand close to podiums with brands on them when I speak in public. I don't talk about brands, nothing, nada. I think that's partly because of my academic training. If you do any type of brand work or take any money even like, I think it's over $5 or something. There's a shit ton of paperwork and I'm just not great at... I'm the paperwork person... I do the paperwork when I get the 14th email that says, "We're revoking everything, including your birth certificate." So I've never done any kind of brand work, ad work. I've just never done it.

BB: We went with an advertising model for this podcast because it makes the most sense to us. It's free, you can... Everyone can get it. But there are ads. And there have to be ads because we have a team of 10 people, and we have a huge partner, and people need to make a living. And it's not that I can't evangelize a product. So I come from a long line of evangelists. I have these very vivid memories of sitting at my grandmother's table in San Antonio, south side of San Antonio, over if you're San Antonian, hey, hey, over by McCreless Mall. And she'd come out of the kitchen wearing... She always wore a patchwork housecoat that snapped at the front, with pearl snaps, and she has square-toed cowboy boots, kind of like a bronzy leather with Eagles stamped on both sides of them. And she wore black cat-eye glasses until the very end, and I remember very distinctly sitting there one day, and I was sitting there with Curley, her husband who was a forklift driver for Pearl Brewery and said, "This is Jimmy Dean's new sausage. It has sage in it. Sage is a spice. This is the best sausage I've ever had, and you can get it too in the frozen food aisle at the Piggly Wiggly." She was the best ad person of her time.

BB: My mom was the same way. So she's... My mom still does ads, all the time. She'll say, "Try this lotion." "Oh, I'm good Ma." "Try this lotion. It's both silk and smoothing, but won't leave you feeling... " [chuckle] Okay, yes or no? I don't know. I don't know. We just have it. So I come from a long maternal line of cursers and evangelists. But I'm still anxious about it because I don't want to go through the new part of it. What if I can't do it? What if it sounds weird? What if I'm ridiculous? What if I'm embarrassed or I go into a shame spiral while I'm trying to say something? I just... It's going to be hard.

BB: So, I had a little FFT breakdown about the advertising. And my team looked at me and said, "FFT Brené. Normalize it, this is the first time. Put it into perspective, it won't always be hard, and set realistic expectations." I said, "What does that mean?" And they said, "Reality check the expectations, not only of yourself but the people around you. When we're in FFT, we have to reality set expectations for everyone." So I said, "Okay, let me think about this." Reality check expectations, even with external partners. Even if you're with your family, don't just reality check your expectations. Reality check them with your partner, with your kids. So I said, "Okay." We sat down, big leadership meeting, everyone from Cadence13, everyone from our side and I just was completely honest about expectations. I basically said, "I've got good news and bad news about the advertising. Good news, I can get really excited about things I love. The bad news, I will do no ads, zero, for anything that I do not love, period. If I don't love it, I'm not going to talk about it. And when I do talk about it, I'm not going to read anyone's copy." And you could just kind of see their faces going...

BB: Maybe I threw them into the... Maybe I threw them into an FFT. Oh, I definitely... [chuckle] Barrett's laughing and smiling. We definitely threw them into an FFT, and they said, "Say more about not reading the copy and only things you love." And I said, "I can't bullshit this community because I've spent over a decade building this community and I trust them, and I think they trust me." So if I love it, I'll talk to them about it freely, but I'm going to tell stories about it, and my own stories about it and why I love it, and that's not reading ad copy, and if I have never tried it or I just kind of like it a bit, I'm not going to sell it to them any more than I'd sell it to people that I love. So here's the thing, ads start next week. Our ad policy is straightforward, I like to call it, all BB, no BS. If I'm advertising it, then I believe in it, I'll tell you the story about why I love it, listen to it, use it or do it, and you can count on me for that.

BB: So normalize, this is new and sometimes I have intentionally stayed away from things like this. I feel weird but I feel less weird when I'm in my values. Perspective, I can't feel weird forever. I might even start to enjoy telling you about things I love. And expectations, there's this great quote... We're reality checking expectations as a part of dealing with our FFT. So this quote that I love, I've seen it attributed to Nelson Mandela, I've seen it attributed to Anne Lamott, well suffice it to say that some really smart person said, "Expectations are just resentments waiting to happen." So when as part of... In our FFT, we're in something new and hard, reality check expectations and that really minimizes resentment, I have saved the hardest FFT for last, the COV1D-19 pandemic. I think it's safe to say that this pandemic is a collective FFT, so let's just name that right off the bat.

BB: We don't know what we're doing, many of us are trying to make our kids feel reassured when we don't feel sure about anything, we're trying to be normal, but nothing is normal. And can I just also say it's the worst FFT ever? I mean, I'm a grown-ass person, but I do not know what I'm doing. So if I take the strategy that I use personally and professionally for the FFT, and we normalize it, put it in perspective and reality check expectations, here's what that looks like for me. Normalize it, we don't know how to do this, and by "this" I mean, we don't know how to social distance and stay sane. We don't know how to stay socially connected, but far apart. We're learning and we're getting better, and you can see that every day. We don't know what to tell our kids, we don't know exactly how to homeschool. I saw something on TikTok or Instagram that said, "I have home schooled for one day, every teacher should make one billion dollars a day."

BB: We don't know exactly what we're doing, we're anxious, we're uncertain, we are, a lot of us, afraid, and it is okay to feel all those feelings. And let me tell you this for sure, and I know this from my life, I know this from again, 20 years of research and 400,000 pieces of data, if you don't name what you're feeling, if you don't own the feelings and feel them, they will eat you alive. And if you're a parent, you can give your kids a sense of safety while also modeling and teaching them what not knowing and uncertainty looks and feels like. Helping your kids feel safe and secure during this time of uncertainty, and modeling what uncertainty can look like and feel like are not mutually exclusive. It is... That is that dual mind, that's being able to hold two different things that have a lot of tension and to have the strength to hold things like that, is really how we measure human intelligence and emotional intelligence.

BB: I know we want to try to make everything certain for our kids, and we think that's what makes them feel safe, but what happens is when they're away from us and then they feel uncertain, they think that automatically means they're unsafe and that's not the truth. So we can say, "We don't know what's happening, we're doing the best that we think we can do, it is scary, and that's okay to feel." But y'all, it's okay, let's just... It's okay to even be overwhelmed with emotion right now. You just have to name it and feel it, so if you're with people and you're social distancing with a group of people, have a check-in, one word to describe what you're feeling right now, one thing you're grateful for right now. If you're by yourself, reach out, and not text. Phone, or FaceTime, or Zoom, or something where you can see people or hear people, and just say, just check... One word check-in, "What's going on for you right now?"

BB: We did it to... Did we do that? Was that today? And we got everything from kind of settling in to uncertain to anxious, but just being able to say it, again, meaning-making species, we need language as handles to be able to say what we're feeling, to wrap words around it, allows us to start making meaning. Number two, putting this FFT of the pandemic in perspective, we don't know when this will end, but we do know it's not forever. And if you're a parent, remember that perspective is a function of experience, the less experience, the less perspective. If you have kids who are saying, "I'll never see my friends again," or, "I can't believe we're missing spring break." That lack of perspective is not always about selfishness, and we don't make them tougher or more empathic towards others by diminishing their feelings.

BB: Disappointment is something that a lot of us are feeling right now, and it's okay to feel disappointed. It's okay to be safe, have enough food, have some resources and still feel disappointed, because denying your disappointment doesn't make you more empathetic towards people who have it a lot worse than you do, it makes us less empathetic. So all of the feels, all okay. Name them and talk about them. And then reality checking expectations, we've got to be more patient with each other. And as Harriet Lerner, my friend, says, "Listen with the same passion that you have for being heard," that's hard, because I have a lot of passion for wanting to be heard, and sometimes not very much passion for listening. We have to ask for what we need. We have to reality-check ourselves when we start drifting towards so-called experts that know everything and are offering certainty.

BB: One of the scariest times for us collectively is when we're vulnerable, because when we're vulnerable, people who call themselves leaders or experts can pop up and quickly gain our trust by selling and peddling certainty to us. And anyone who's certain right now, in my opinion... I mean not certain like, "Social distancing will be helpful, hand washing," but can tell you, "This is exactly what's happening. This is exactly when it's going to end. This is exactly who's going to get sick. This is exactly... " Anyone who is telling, "It's not a big deal. We're all okay." Anyone who is using anything but science and facts to give you certainty right now, in my opinion, needs to be reality checked.

BB: Exercise, sleep if you can, and also... Listen, all of these TikToks and Instagrams and Facebooks of our Italian neighbors and friends on their porches, singing, dancing, doing exercises together, I want a reality check that they're a solid week ahead of us, and I don't think we saw that from them when they were in day three, or day two, or day four of social distancing or quarantine. If I had an instrument right now, I would ask for a tuba because I'm with my entire family, my extended family, then we busted my mom and her husband out of assisted living when they went into lockdown there. And I would ask for a tuba and then I would crawl inside of it and hide, and then I'd ask someone to push the tuba down the hill in our backyard and rolling into it, into like the lake in the tuba. I'm not... I'm not leading a band right now. I'm... We're having... Are we having kind of a hard time? I'm looking at Barrett.

BG: Yup.

BB: What would you say?

BG: A lot of hard conversations. Definitely FFTs, definitely having to ask for what we need, having to say, "This is how I'm feeling. This is how I'm experiencing this," and making sure that we're all on the same page is the only way we're getting through.

BB: Yeah, she's really... She's really good. We had a hard conversation today.

BG: True. [chuckle]

BB: We did, that's why I'd like to climb into a tuba and roll down the hill. I don't even know where that came from. It's just the visual I have right now.

BG: It's fair.

BB: It's fair. We can't give up on each other y'all. We're all we have, even in the FFTs. So we're going to drop this podcast every Wednesday, once we find our footing. Next week, we're going to drop podcasts Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday because we want to, and I'm excited about you hearing from some of the people I've interviewed. Monday, I'm talking to Tarana Burke, the founder of the "Me Too" movement, who is a dear friend, and we talk about everything from falling in love and sharing space with people that we love, namely, our partners. And then Tuesday, I'm going to talk to Glennon Doyle on her new book, Untamed. If you have not read Untamed yet, this is a book for these times, Untamed. It'll be really fun if you can get it, but what a great conversation I had with Glennon.

[music]

BB: I have not practiced a fancy sign off yet so I will just say I'm grateful for you, I think this is going to be fun. I think we're going to learn some stuff. I think we're going to get braver and hopefully unlock a little bit about what it means to be human in this crazy world. So this is Unlocking U s, thank you for listening.

© 2020 Brené Brown Education and Research Group, LLC. All rights reserved.

Unlocking Us Podcast with Attica Locke & Tembi Locke

Unlocking Us Podcast with Attica Locke & Tembi Locke

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The first Unlocking Us podcast is here! Along with the excitement of sending this into the world, I'm feeling equal doses of fear, awkwardness, and vulnerability. In this episode I talk about my strategy for staying in tough first times versus tapping out and shutting down.

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Asking Dr. Brazelton for Strength

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Dear Berry,

I sure wish you were here to help us with this Coronavirus epidemic. You were practical. You stuck with what was in your power to do, and in ours. You inspired us, as you did parents, to do the most good we could by finding that good in ourselves.

You would have reminded us of everything we can do to avoid infection, and that most people who get sick will recover. You would have been obsessed about helping the people at greatest risk - our elders, people with pre-existing illness without health insurance, without paid sick leave, in low wage service jobs, in overcrowded housing, detention centers, or without homes. You would have insisted that we help the helpers risking their own health, the nursing home workers and health care providers caring for the medically fragile, and those donning masks and goggles to treat one baby or child after another with fever and cough - all day long.

You really knew how to get people to listen. Just as you helped Congress understand why we needed a Family Medical Leave Act (still unpaid), you would have been helping people across the political spectrum understand why, in order to heal and be strong again, our country needs to fund - at the very least - free coronavirus testing, medical treatment, time off from work and unemployment insurance for everyone who needs it in the U.S. who is dealing with this viral illness. You would have kept it simple: any one left untreated or unfunded to stay out of work when potentially contagious becomes one more chance for this virus to spread itself. But you would never have let the physical distance from others we need to stop the spread turn into emotional distance.

Carrying on your good work in these hard times is daunting. Yet one strange twist on the coronavirus epidemic is that, for many of us, the best first thing we can do for ourselves as individuals turns out to be what we are most able to do right now to help others. For many of us, doing everything we can to protect ourselves from the coronavirus may be the first most powerful thing we can do to protect others - and to be ready to continue on with your good hard work as soon as we can.

Thank you for still showing me - and so many - the way. We miss you.

Josh

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Letter to Berry Brazelton (May 10, 1918 - March 13, 2018)

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Dear Berry, I sure wish you were here to help us with this Coronavirus epidemic. You were practical. You stuck with what was in your power to do, and in ours. You inspired us, as you did parents, to do the most good we could by finding that good in ourselves.

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Pregnant Women

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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pregnant women; pregnancy; vertical transmission; breast feeding

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Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) is a virus (more specifically, a coronavirus) identified as the cause of an outbreak of respiratory illness first detected in Wuhan, China.

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5-minute video introducing Postpartum Support International

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PSI CT is here for you during the COVID 19 crisis.webm

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Free online support groups for mothers

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Connecticut Chapter of Postpartum Support International

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Connecticut Chapter of Postpartum Support International

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State chapter website

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Connecticut 211 Infoline

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Updated: April, 2023
For updates on Connecticut's coronavirus guidance, vaccine/booster and testing sites, and much more, visit: ct.gov/coronavirus
WHAT IS NOVEL CORONAVIRUS (COVID-19, 2019-nCoV)?
The virus was first detected in Wuhan, China, and is currently known as coronavirus (COVID-19), meaning it is a strain of virus not previously seen in humans. This virus presents as an upper respiratory illness with symptoms similar to the common flu and is spreading person-to-person. The virus has caused death, but cases have ranged from mild symptoms to severe illness including pneumonia, depending on a variety of factors that are not yet fully known.

Omicron Variant's - The Omicron variant, like other variants, is comprised of a number of lineages and sub-lineages. For more information on Omicron and variants, visit the CDC website: here
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF COVID-19, AND WHO IS AT RISK
People with COVID-19 can have wide range of symptoms - ranging from mild symptoms to severe illness. Some common symptoms of COVID-19 are:

A sore throat

A runny nose

A blocked nose

Sneezing

A cough without phlegm

A headache

A cough with phlegm

A hoarse voice

Muscle aches and pains

An altered sense of smell & taste

Fever

Symptoms may appear 2 - 14 days after being exposed to the virus.

If you have these symptoms, you should check with your healthcare provider about whether you should be tested for COVID-19.

COVID-19 may cause a worsening of underlying chronic medical conditions. Some people, mostly those with underlying conditions such as chronic lung disease or compromised immune systems, require hospitalization.

People with COVID-19 who are cared for at home should:

Check with their health care provider about any special care they might need if they have a health condition such as asthma, diabetes, heart disease, or a chronic lung disease that could put them at risk for getting very sick if they get the virus

Do not leave your home, except to get medical care. Do not visit public areas or go to work or school.

Avoid close contact with other people as much as you can while you are sick, including people in your household if possible. Try to keep a distance of at least six feet and if possible stay in a separate room and use a separate bathroom than family or household members.

Avoid close contact with animals in the home. Have another household member care for pets and other animals.

Wear a facemask or cloth face-covering to cover your nose and mouth, if possible, when you need to be near other people or animals in your household.

Get plenty of rest

Drink clear fluids (such as water, broth, sports drinks, or electrolyte beverages for infants, like Pedialyte) to keep from being dehydrated

Cover coughs and sneezes. Clean hands with soap and water or an alcohol-based hand sanitizer often and especially after using tissues and after coughing or sneezing into hands

Be watchful for emergency warning signs that might indicate you need to seek medical attention.

For more detailed information, visit the CDC website: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/about/index.html
WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I HAD CLOSE CONTACT WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS THE VIRUS?
Quarantine and Isolation Guidelines: Updated - 8/22
CDC is shortening the recommended time for quarantining and isolating from 10 days for people with COVID-19

For the latest CDC details regarding isolation and quarantine guidelines, visit the website here: https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2022/p0811-covid-guidance.html
CASES OF CORONAVIRUS IN CONNECTICUT?
For an up to date list of current cases in Connecticut, visit: https://portal.ct.gov/Coronavirus. The Connecticut Department of Public Health (CT DPH) is providing updated information on the state and federal response to the Coronavirus, as well as resources for Connecticut schools, healthcare practitioners, municipalities and residents.
HOW IS CORONAVIRUS TRANSMITTED?
This virus can spread from person-to-person, in much the same way that cold or seasonal flu viruses spread. The virus mainly spreads between people who are in close contact with one another (within about 6 feet) for a prolonged period of time, usually 15 minutes or more. There is evidence that people can be contagious when they have no symptoms. However, people are thought to be most contagious when they are the sickest. In general, the more closely a person interacts with other people, and the longer that the time a person spends around other people, the higher the risk of being exposed to COVID-19. Spending time in large gathering, such as parties or other events, increases your risk of being exposed to COVID-19.

Transmission mainly occurs through respiratory droplets produced when an infected person coughs, sneezes, or talks. These droplets can land in the mouths or noses of people who are nearby or possibly be inhaled into the lungs.

It may be possible that a person can get COVID-19 by touching a surface or object that has the virus on it and then touching their own mouth, nose, or possibly their eyes. This is not thought to be the main way the virus spreads but we are learning more about this virus every day. This is why is it very important to wash your hands often and clean frequently touched surfaces often.

Symptoms may appear 2 - 14 days after being exposed to the virus.
HOW CAN I HELP PROTECT MYSELF
The best way to prevent illness is to avoid being exposed to this virus using the same protections you would use for seasonal flu and many other respiratory infections.

The best ways to prevent getting COVID-19 are to:

Get vaccinated

Wear a mask, or cloth face-covering to cover your nose and mouth when you are outside your home and cannot maintain 6 feet of social distancing, such as being in close quarters indoors with non-vaccinated individuals.

Avoid close contact with people who are sick.

Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. If soap and water are not nearby, use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.

Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth.

Clean and disinfect frequently touched objects and surfaces using a regular household cleaning spray or wipe.

If you get sick, limit contact with others to avoid infecting them.

If you have to care for someone who is sick, review these guidelines from the CDC about how to protect yourself and prevent the spread of germs: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/if-you-are-sick/care-for-someone.html

_____________________________
Mental health issues during this time can be difficult for oneself and/or family members. For information on tips to help you cope, visit the various mental health resources below:

211CTwebsite Mental Health Category https://uwc.211ct.org/categorysearch/mental-health/ provides links to providers of counseling services for adults and children and mental health support groups.

HEALTHY LIVES CT website https://www.healthylivesct.org/ provides information and tools for maintaining or regaining wellness in the areas of emotional wellness, physical wellness, holistic wellness, financial wellness, and recovery from addiction issues.

SAMHSA ​Disaster Distress Helpline https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/disaster-distress-helpline provides 24/7, 365-day-a-year crisis counseling and support to people experiencing emotional distress related to natural or human-caused disasters.

Mental Health and COVID-19 - Information and Resources https://mhanational.org/covid19. Webpage of Mental Health America recommended by Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services.

Coronavirus "SCAM ALERT" Warnings
The Connecticut Departments of Consumer Protection (DCP), Public Health (DPH) and the Office of the Attorney General William Tong is warning consumers that scam artists are trying to take advantage of consumers' during heightened attention to Coronavirus. Scam artists may post, email, and text to promote false information about "cases" of the disease in your neighborhood that do not exist, and bogus prevention medication in order to obtain your personal information and your money. They also may ask you to donate to victims through a sham charity or offer "advice" about false treatments for the disease.

Residents should follow these tips to prevent falling victim to a scam artist:

The federal government will never call to ask for your Social Security number, bank account or credit card number. Anyone who asks for this personal identifying information is a scammer.

No matter how the payment is disbursed, only a scammer will ask you to pay to receive it.

Any consumers who notice one of these scams or feel they have fallen victim to a scam should report it to DCP or the Office of the Attorney General as soon as they are able using the below contact information:

Individuals that want to check on the legitimacy of a charity can go to https://www.elicense.ct.gov/. All charities must register with the state.

If someone is concerned that they may have spotted a business or offer that seems like a scam, they can go to the Better Business Bureau's Scam Tracker site: https://www.bbb.org/scamtracker/.

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SOURCES: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC); World Health Organization; Connecticut Department of Consumer Protection; Connecticut Department of Public Health; Office of Attorney General; SAMSHA
PREPARED BY: 211/tb
CONTENT LAST REVIEWED: April2023

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Coronavirus (COVID-19) - General Information for Connecticut

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Updated: April, 2023 For updates on Connecticut's coronavirus guidance, vaccine/booster and testing sites, and much more, visit: ct.gov/coronavirus WHAT IS NOVEL CORONAVIRUS (COVID-19, 2019-nCoV)? The virus was first detected in Wuhan, China, and is currently known as coronavirus (COVID-19), meaning it is a strain of virus not previously seen in humans.

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Healthychildren.org

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Human Coronaviruses are a family of viruses that usually cause illnesses like the common cold. Almost everyone gets one of these viruses at some point in their lives. Most of the time the illness only lasts for a short time.

COVID-19: a​ new coronavirus

It was discovered in December 2019 and has now spread throughout the world. As the virus spreads, we are seeing some people with mild illness, some who get very sick, and some who have died. The reason health officials are concerned is because the virus is new, which makes it hard to predict how it will continue to affect people. Researchers and doctors are learning more about it every day, including exactly how it spreads and who is most at risk.

Symptoms of COVID​-19

Symptoms of COVID-19 can range from mild to severe and can include:

Who is a​t risk?

According to the CDC, children do not seem to be at higher risk for getting COVID-19. However, some people are, including

How to protect you​r family

There is currently no vaccine to prevent COVID-19, but there are a few things you can do to keep your family healthy:

Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. If soap and water are not available, use hand sanitizer. Look for one that is 60% or higher alcohol-based.

Reduce close contact with others by practicing " social distancing." This means staying home as much as possible and avoiding public places where close contact with others is likely.

Keep your kids away from others who are sick or keep them home if they are ill.

Teach kids to cough and sneeze into a tissue (make sure to throw it away after each use!) or to cough and sneeze into their arm or elbow, not their hands.

Clean and disinfect your home as usual using regular household cleaning sprays or wipes.

Wash stuffed animals or other plush toys, following manufacturer's instructions in the warmest water possible and dry them completely.

Avoid touching your face; teach your children to do the same.

Avoid travel to highly infected areas.

Follow local and state guidance on travel restrictions.

​

How to care for someone in your family with COVID-19

People who are mildly ill with COVID-19 are usually able to isolate at home during their illness. However, it may be recommended to take these additional steps:

Separate family members with COVID-19 from others as much as possible. The person with the virus should stay in a specific room and away from other people in your home. Ideally, they should use a separate bathroom, if available. Limit visitors in the house.

Avoid contact with pets. This includes petting, snuggling, being kissed or licked, and sharing food.

Call ahead before visiting the doctor. This will help them take steps to keep other people from getting infected or exposed.

Wear a facemask. The CDC only recommends facemasks for people who have symptoms of COVID-19, not for people who are healthy. Healthcare workers and anyone taking care of someone with COVID-19 should wear facemasks.

Avoid sharing personal household items. Don't share dishes, drinking glasses, cups, eating utensils, towels, or bedding with other people or pets in the home. After using these items, they should be washed thoroughly with soap and water.

Extra cleaning for all "high-touch" surfaces. These include counters, tabletops, doorknobs, bathroom fixtures, toilets, phones, keyboards, tablets, and bedside tables. Also, clean any surfaces that may have blood, stool, or body fluids on them. Use a household cleaning spray or wipes and follow the instructions on the label.

Monitor symptoms. Call your doctor right away if the illness gets worse.

Dealing with school and childcare closin​gs

In many communities, officials have decided to temporarily close schools and childcare centers to help slow the spread of the virus. If your children need to stay at home due to the outbreak, try to keep their days as routine and scheduled as possible. Here are a few tips that can help:

Read books with your child. It's not only fun, but reading together strengthens your bond with your child AND helps their development.

Make time for active play. Bring out the blocks, balls, jump ropes and buckets and let the creativity go. Play games that kids of all ages can play, like tag or duck duck goose. Let your kids make up new games. Encourage older kids to make up a workout or dance to keep them moving.

Keep an eye on media time. Whenever possible, play video games or go online with your child to keep that time structured and limited. If kids are missing their school friends or other family, try video chats to stay in touch.

Talking to children about COVI​D-19

There's a lot of news coverage about the outbreak of COVID-19 and it can be overwhelming for parents and frightening to kids. The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages parents and others who work closely with children to filter information and talk about it in a way that their child can understand. These tips can help:

Simple reassurance. Remind children that researchers and doctors are learning as much as they can, as quickly as they can, about the virus and are taking steps to keep everyone safe.

Give them control. It's also a great time to remind your children of what they can do to help - washing their hands often, coughing into a tissue or their sleeves, and getting enough sleep.

Watch for signs of anxiety. Children may not have the words to express their worry, but you may see signs of it. They may get cranky, be more clingy, have trouble sleeping, or seem distracted. Keep the reassurance going and try to stick to your normal routines.

Monitor their media. Keep young children away from frightening images they may see on TV, social media, computers, etc. For older children, talk together about what they are hearing on the news and correct any misinformation or rumors you may hear.

Be a good role model. COVID-19 doesn't discriminate and neither should we. While COVID-19 started in Wuhan, China, it doesn't mean that having Asian ancestry - or any other ancestry - makes someone more susceptible to the virus or more contagious. Stigma and discrimination hurt everyone by creating fear or anger towards others. When you show empathy and support to those who are ill, your children will too.

Stay inform​ed

Families are encouraged to stay up to date about this situation as we learn more about how to prevent this virus from spreading in homes and in communities.

More Informa​​tion:​

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covid-19~ coronavirus~ coronavirus and kids~ novel coronavirus~ latest illnesses~ how to prevent coronavirus~ covid-19 treatments~ kids and covid-19

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Human Coronaviruses are a family of viruses that usually cause illnesses like the common cold. Almost everyone gets one of these viruses at some point in their lives. Most of the time the illness only lasts for a short time. It was discovered in December 2019 and has now spread throughout the world.