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gardening

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stop listening exercise

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the guessing game

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guess the emotion/face

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communication origami

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Listen and draw

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Developing strong communication skills is essential when it comes to building a successful career. But your communication skills play a key role in your private life too. Learn about the most in-demand communication skills and how to improve them.
🔎 With strong communication skills, you can easily improve communication in the workplace. Download our eBook " 10 Principles of Modern Employee Communications" and learn how to communicate with the modern employee in today's digital age.

Communications Skills: Definition and Importance in the Workplace

Communication skills are a set of activities that ultimately make a quality public performance.

Communication today is very important both in the business world and in private life.

Successful communication helps us better understand people and situations. It helps us overcome diversities, build trust and respect, and create conditions for sharing creative ideas and solving problems.

Developing strong communication skills becomes one of the leaders' top priorities

In the business world, many employers believe that proper internal communications can significantly increase employees' productivity.

Although communication itself seems simple, often when we try to establish communication with others, there is always a chance for a lack of understanding that might cause conflicts and frustrations in personal or professional life in relations with other people.

By acquiring strong communication skills, you can better connect with your friends, colleagues, boss... all while improving communication in the workplace.

Why You Need to Develop Strong Communication Skills

In this modern time we live in, we are receiving, sending and processing a large number of messages every day.

But successful communication is far more than sharing information, it is also an understanding of the feelings behind this information.

Successful communication can deepen relations in personal life or professional life. In personal life, they can help us understand better people and situations that happen on a daily basis.

Developing communication skills can help us avoid conflicts, compromise and help in better decision making.

📚Read on:

Here is a great overview of why communication skills are importan t.

The Power of Strong Communication Skills in the Workplace

With strong communication skills, you can clearly impact your business. Great communicators are the ones who bring solutions, drive change, motivate and inspire their colleagues.

By improving communication skills, we can improve employee engagement, teamwork, decision-making, and interdepartmental communication in the workplace.

For that reason, communication skills are the most demanded soft skills that employers are looking for in their employees.

Good communication skills enable managers to receive and send negative or heavy messages without creating frustration and disruption of trust. This is important to keep employees motivated and engaged.

📚Read on: 8 Employee Engagement Statistics You Need to Know [INFOGRAPHIC]

Employees today expect to be informed about every aspect of the business and not to miss any important information.

They expect from the leaders to communicate regularly their role and goals. They expect continuous feedback on their work, and they expect to be able to find information that they need in seconds.

Employers who manage to successfully communicate the company's values and business goals to their employees have much lover turnover rates.

📚Read on: Company Values: Definition, Importance and Examples

What's more, the way managers communicate with employees during change has a direct impact on the company's bottom line. Indeed, most digital transformation strategies fail because of a lack of communication in the workplace.

Therefore, employers need to have a well-set strategy about how to keep their employees informed and engaged.

📚Read on:

Although we can develop certain communication skills, communication is more effective if it is spontaneous than when it follows certain formulas. The spoken word has a different echo of spontaneous spoken speech.

Of course, it takes time and effort to develop these skills and become a successful speaker. The more effort and practice, the communication skills will be more spontaneous and more instinctive.

Check out in the infographic below the reasons why developing strong communication skills is important in the workplace 👇

30+ Stats on the Importance of Developing Strong Communication Skills in 2020

We've compiled below some of the most important stats on the importance of developing strong communication skills in the workplace.

But don't worry, you can also check the video below if you are in a hurry 👇

7% of communication is verbal, 38% is the tone and inflection and a staggering 55% is body language (Smarp)

think that employee communication is a key factor in creating trust with their employers (Over 80% of Americans Slideshare)

81% of recruiters identify interpersonal skills as important (mba.com)

57% of recruiters say interpersonal skills will grow in demand over the next five years (mba.com)

98% of top salespeople identify relationships as the most important factor in generating new business (Salesforce)

More than 90% of employees would rather hear bad news than no news (Jostle)

69% list strong communication skills as a reason they are confident in hiring graduates from business school (mba.com)

According to the National Association of Colleges and Employers, want a candidate with strong written communication skills (73.4% of employers Inc.)

69% of managers

. As a consequence,41% of leaders are not able to gather appropriate information quickly 40% are not able to make timely and deliberate decisions (PwC)

69% of managers fail to organize communication with their employees (Rallyware)

37% of managers are uncomfortable having to give direct feedback about their employees' performance if they think the employee might respond negatively to the feedback ( Harvard Business Review)

Communicating well is the one critical skill that leaders lack (91% of 1,000 employees in a recent Interact /Harris Poll said their Inc.)

of employees think email is a major productivity killer (Around a quarter Bluesource)

Employees feel a communication divide could have serious business implications, including low staff morale (61%), confusion for the company's clients or customers (60%), and loss of business (31%) (HR Magazine)

74% of workers would like their company to let them work from home more frequently as a result of COVID-19 (Robert Half)

28 % of employeesreport poor communication as the primary cause of failing to deliver a project within its original time frame, according to a survey by the Computing Technology Industry Association (Bluesource)

📚Read on:

5 Communication Skills You Can't Ignore

There are dozens of different communication skills to possess, there are top 5 communication skills we will focus on in this blog.

These 5 skills are absolutely necessary for successful communication in the workplace or private life.

1. Listening

Listening is one of the most important aspects of communication. Successful listening is not just and understanding of spoken or written information, but also an understanding of how the speaker feels during communication.

If a speaker can see and feel that someone is listening and understanding that can help build a stronger, deeper relationship between interlocutors.

Careful listening can also create an environment in which everyone feels safe to express ideas, opinions and feelings, or plan and solve problems in a creative way.

2. Straight talking

Conversation is the basis of communication, and one must not neglect its importance. Even a simple, friendly conversation with colleagues can build mutual trust and even detect problems before they become serious.

A healthy dose of chatting with and unknown person can lead to a business opportunity. Be accessible and friendly because then you will be able to talk to almost anyone.

3. Non-verbal communication

When we talk about things that matter to us then we send a lot of nonverbal messages.

Non-verbal signals are wordless communication, body position, facial expression, hand movements, gestures, eye contact, attitude and tone of your voice, muscle tension and the way you/we breathe.

The way you look, listen, create, react, gesture, speaks far more about feelings than words will ever be able to.

Why non-verbal communication skills are important?

Because, according to Salesforce's research on interpersonal communication, 93 percent of communication is non-verbal.

Developing the ability to understand others and use nonverbal signals will help you connect with others, express what you think, meet challenging situations, and build better relationships at home and at work.

4. Stress management

In small quantities, stress can be very useful and encouraging for work. However, when the stress becomes constant and completely begins to take effect, it can affect communication, clarity of opinion, and appropriate behavior and action.

When you are under stress you may misunderstand other people, send confusing nonverbal signals, and use funny patterns of behavior.

How often did you feel stressed during discussion with your friends or colleagues and then said or did something you regretted later?

If you improve stress management skills, not only will you avoid these subsequent regrets, but you will also be able to influence the other person you are entering into a conflict.

5. Emotion control

In communication, feelings play an important role. Making decisions more often affects the way you feel than the way you think.

Guided by emotions, your nonverbal behavior affects the understanding of other people and how others understand and perceive you.

If you are not aware of your feelings you are guided, you will not be able to express your needs and experiences. This can result in frustration, misunderstanding and conflict.

Control of emotions provides you with tools to understand others, yourself and the messages you send.

Though recognizing feelings makes it simple, many people have strong feeling like anger, sorrow, or fear being pushed under the carpet.

4 Smart Ways to Your Improve Communication Skills

Communication experts have many advice on how to improve communication skills.

For example, take a look at Simon Lancaster's best practices for speaking like a leader below 👇

Simon Lancaster shares his best practices for developing great communication skills

Or watch what Linda Reynier has to say when it comes to building great communication skills for your personal and professional life:

As you can see, there is no single way to develop great communication skills or become a great leader.

The methodology you're going to pick will depend on you the objectives you want to achieve and your personality as well (we don't need to develop the same communication skills).

To help you get started with thought leadership, we share below 4 of the most productive ways to quickly and efficiently improve your communication skills:

1. Listen with empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings, thoughts, and beliefs of another person. Exactly this is the reason why organizations have started developing empathy in the workplace.

Emotional acceptance, closely related to empathy, means that, after empathizing and understanding how other person feels, we can accept the reasons why somebody feels or thinks the way they do, regardless of whether we agree with it or not.

Try to see things from others' perspectives by accepting what you hear instead of trying to „fix things and solve the problem".

2. Speak up

Communication begins with you. Take responsibility and start communication, do not wait and expect another person to do so and don't hide behind various forms of online communication.

Good communication, especially on important topics, requires far more than what we can express in a written message.

We often misunderstand this kind of communication because we do not see the person's face, its nonverbal communication, and in what circumstances communication starts.

3. Prepare what you're going to say

Think before you speak. Most of us work best when we have time to process our own thoughts before we share them.

If the conversation or meeting is worth your precious time, take a few minutes to prepare the speech draft.

For a very important conversation, try a mock-up conversation with a trusted person so you can get rid of any potential mistakes.

4. Be ready for different answers

As you formulate a speech strategy, put yourself in the position of a person who will listen to you.

This will ensure balanced approach and you will be prepared to learn and defend potential disagreements and it will be easier for you to defend your standpoint.

No one can predict with certainty how other people will react.

Improve chances of a successful conversation by expecting negative answers and queries. So it is harder for your listeners to catch you unprepared.

Help Your Employees Improve their Communication Skills with Smarp

Leaders and employees need to have strong communication skills to support the business's growth.

Think about it: communication is actually the glue that holds the business together. Without effective communication, employees don't have a clear understanding of the company's vision and priorities. Managers struggle to motivate and inspire their teams.

At the end of the day, it's the company's success that may suffer from poor communication.

That's the reason why we've built Smarp. We want to make it easy for employees and leaders to become great communicators. And to do so, you need to make sure that each employee gets the information they need when they need it without having to search for it.

Remember, employees spend on average 2.5 hours per day searching for the information they need to do their jobs!

What's more, you need to communicate with your employees through their favorite channels, so they engage with your content and keep developing communication skills.

Smarp can help you encourage your employees develop strong communication skills through:

Relevant messages shared with your employees

An internal communication strategy adapted to your employees' needs

Content creation. Yes, your employees can become great content creators and they don't need to become motion designers to do so! The Content Booster by Smarp makes it easy for your employees to create their own content!

Employee advocacy. The Advocacy Amplifier makes it easy for your employees to share insights with their personal networks so they position themselves as industry experts.

Strong Analytics that make it easy for your employees to measure the engagement they're generating through their posts and shares

Don't forget that your employees can be great communicators inside and outside the organization!

Employees with strong personal brands and communication skills can become your best ambassadors. With Smarp, you make it easy for your employees to share your company news and achievements with their personal networks.

As a result, not only your employees do feel well-informed about what's going on in the company, they also feel engaged and proud to be part of the company!

What's next? Download the eBook "10 Principles of Modern Employee Communications" where we share tips & best practices for successfully communicating with your employees in today's digital age.

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Top 5 Communication Skills and How to Improve Them

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Developing strong communication skills is essential when it comes to building a successful career. But your communication skills play a key role in your private life too. Learn about the most in-demand communication skills and how to improve them. 🔎 With strong communication skills, you can easily improve communication in the workplace.

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Learning Objectives

1. Define interpersonal communication.

2. Discuss the functional aspects of interpersonal communication.

3. Discuss the cultural aspects of interpersonal communication.

In order to understand interpersonal communication, we must understand how interpersonal communication functions to meet our needs and goals and how our interpersonal communication connects to larger social and cultural systems. Interpersonal communication is the process of exchanging messages between people whose lives mutually influence one another in unique ways in relation to social and cultural norms. This definition highlights the fact that interpersonal communication involves two or more people who are interdependent to some degree and who build a unique bond based on the larger social and cultural contexts to which they belong. So a brief exchange with a grocery store clerk who you don't know wouldn't be considered interpersonal communication, because you and the clerk are not influencing each other in significant ways. Obviously, if the clerk were a friend, family member, coworker, or romantic partner, the communication would fall into the interpersonal category. In this section, we discuss the importance of studying interpersonal communication and explore its functional and cultural aspects.

Why Study Interpersonal Communication?

Interpersonal communication has many implications for us in the real world. Did you know that interpersonal communication played an important role in human evolution? Early humans who lived in groups, rather than alone, were more likely to survive, which meant that those with the capability to develop interpersonal bonds were more likely to pass these traits on to the next generation (Leary, 2001). Did you know that interpersonal skills have a measurable impact on psychological and physical health? People with higher levels of interpersonal communication skills are better able to adapt to stress, have greater satisfaction in relationships and more friends, and have less depression and anxiety (Hargie, 2011). In fact, prolonged isolation has been shown to severely damage a human (Williams & Zadro, 2001). Have you ever heard of the boy or girl who was raised by wolves? There have been documented cases of abandoned or neglected children, sometimes referred to as feral children, who survived using their animalistic instincts but suffered psychological and physical trauma as a result of their isolation (Candland, 1995). There are also examples of solitary confinement, which has become an ethical issue in many countries. In "supermax" prisons, which now operate in at least forty-four states, prisoners spend 22.5 to 24 hours a day in their cells and have no contact with the outside world or other prisoners (Shalev, 2011).

Aside from making your relationships and health better, interpersonal communication skills are highly sought after by potential employers, consistently ranking in the top ten in national surveys (National Association of Colleges and Employers, 2010). Each of these examples illustrates how interpersonal communication meets our basic needs as humans for security in our social bonds, health, and careers. But we are not born with all the interpersonal communication skills we'll need in life. So in order to make the most out of our interpersonal relationships, we must learn some basic principles.

Think about a time when a short communication exchange affected a relationship almost immediately. Did you mean for it to happen? Many times we engage in interpersonal communication to fulfill certain goals we may have, but sometimes we are more successful than others. This is because interpersonal communication is strategic, meaning we intentionally create messages to achieve certain goals that help us function in society and our relationships. Goals vary based on the situation and the communicators, but ask yourself if you are generally successful at achieving the goals with which you enter a conversation or not. If so, you may already possess a high degree of interpersonal communication competence , or the ability to communicate effectively and appropriately in personal relationships. This chapter will help you understand some key processes that can make us more effective and appropriate communicators. You may be asking, "Aren't effectiveness and appropriateness the same thing?" The answer is no. Imagine that you are the manager of a small department of employees at a marketing agency where you often have to work on deadlines. As a deadline approaches, you worry about your team's ability to work without your supervision to complete the tasks, so you interrupt everyone's work and assign them all individual tasks and give them a bulleted list of each subtask with a deadline to turn each part in to you. You meet the deadline and have effectively accomplished your goal. Over the next month, one of your employees puts in her two-weeks' notice, and you learn that she and a few others have been talking about how they struggle to work with you as a manager. Although your strategy was effective, many people do not respond well to strict hierarchy or micromanaging and may have deemed your communication inappropriate. A more competent communicator could have implemented the same detailed plan to accomplish the task in a manner that included feedback, making the employees feel more included and heard. In order to be competent interpersonal communicators, we must learn to balance being effective and appropriate.

Functional Aspects of Interpersonal Communication

We have different needs that are met through our various relationships. Whether we are aware of it or not, we often ask ourselves, "What can this relationship do for me?" In order to understand how relationships achieve strategic functions, we will look at instrumental goals, relationship-maintenance goals, and self-presentation goals.

What motivates you to communicate with someone? We frequently engage in communication designed to achieve instrumental goals such as gaining compliance (getting someone to do something for us), getting information we need, or asking for support (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). In short, instrumental talk helps us "get things done" in our relationships. Our instrumental goals can be long term or day to day. The following are examples of communicating for instrumental goals:

You ask your friend to help you move this weekend (gaining/resisting compliance).

You ask your coworker to remind you how to balance your cash register till at the end of your shift (requesting or presenting information).

You console your roommate after he loses his job (asking for or giving support).

When we communicate to achieve relational goals, we are striving to maintain a positive relationship. Engaging in relationship-maintenance communication is like taking your car to be serviced at the repair shop. To have a good relationship, just as to have a long-lasting car, we should engage in routine maintenance. For example, have you ever wanted to stay in and order a pizza and watch a movie, but your friend suggests that you go to a local restaurant and then to the theatre? Maybe you don't feel like being around a lot of people or spending money (or changing out of your pajamas), but you decide to go along with his or her suggestion. In that moment, you are putting your relational partner's needs above your own, which will likely make him or her feel valued. It is likely that your friend has made or will also make similar concessions to put your needs first, which indicates that there is a satisfactory and complimentary relationship. Obviously, if one partner always insists on having his or her way or always concedes, becoming the martyr, the individuals are not exhibiting interpersonal-communication competence. Other routine relational tasks include celebrating special occasions or honoring accomplishments, spending time together, and checking in regularly by phone, e-mail, text, social media, or face-to-face communication. The following are examples of communicating for relational goals:

You organize an office party for a coworker who has just become a US citizen (celebrating/honoring accomplishments).

You make breakfast with your mom while you are home visiting (spending time together).

You post a message on your long-distance friend's Facebook wall saying you miss him (checking in).

Another form of relational talk that I have found very useful is what I call the , which stands for "defining-the-relationship talk" and serves a relationship-maintenance function. In the early stages of a romantic relationship, you may have a DTR talk to reduce uncertainty about where you stand by deciding to use the term boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner. In a DTR talk, you may proactively define your relationship by saying, "I'm glad I'm with you and no one else." Your romantic interest may respond favorably, echoing or rephrasing your statement, which gives you an indication that he or she agrees with you. The talk may continue on from there, and you may talk about what to call your relationship, set boundaries, or not. It is not unusual to have several DTR talks as a relationship progresses. At times, you may have to define the relationship when someone steps over a line by saying, "I think we should just be friends." This more explicit and reactive (rather than proactive) communication can be especially useful in situations where a relationship may be unethical, inappropriate, or create a conflict of interest-for example, in a supervisor-supervisee, mentor-mentee, professional-client, or collegial relationship.

We also pursue self-presentation goals by adapting our communication in order to be perceived in particular ways. Just as many companies, celebrities, and politicians create a public image, we desire to present different faces in different contexts. The well-known scholar Erving Goffman compared self-presentation to a performance and suggested we all perform different roles in different contexts (Goffman, 1959). Indeed, competent communicators can successfully manage how others perceive them by adapting to situations and contexts. A parent may perform the role of stern head of household, supportive shoulder to cry on, or hip and culturally aware friend to his or her child. A newly hired employee may initially perform the role of serious and agreeable coworker. Sometimes people engage in communication that doesn't necessarily present them in a positive way. For example, Haley, the oldest daughter in the television show Modern Family, often presents herself as incapable in order to get her parents to do her work. In one episode she pretended she didn't know how to crack open an egg so her mom Claire would make the brownies for her school bake sale. Here are some other examples of communicating to meet self-presentation goals:

As your boss complains about struggling to format the company newsletter, you tell her about your experience with Microsoft Word and editing and offer to look over the newsletter once she's done to fix the formatting (presenting yourself as competent).

You and your new college roommate stand in your dorm room full of boxes. You let him choose which side of the room he wants and then invite him to eat lunch with you (presenting yourself as friendly).

You say, "I don't know," in response to a professor's question even though you have an idea of the answer (presenting yourself as aloof, or "too cool for school").

"Getting Real"

Image Consultants

The Association of Image Consultants International (AICI) states that appearance, behavior, and communication are the "ABC's of image." Many professional image consultants are licensed by this organization and provide a variety of services to politicians, actors, corporate trainers, public speakers, organizations, corporations, and television personalities such as news anchors. Visit the AICI's website ( http://www.aici.org/About_Image_Consulting/Image_Consulting.htm) and read about image consulting, including the "How to Choose," "How to Become," and "FAQs" sections. Then consider the following questions:

1. If you were to hire an image consultant for yourself, what would you have them "work on" for you? Why?

2. What communication skills that you've learned about in the book so far would be most important for an image consultant to possess?

3. Many politicians use image consultants to help them connect to voters and win elections. Do you think this is ethical? Why or why not?

As if managing instrumental, relational, and self-presentation goals isn't difficult enough when we consider them individually, we must also realize that the three goal types are always working together. In some situations we may privilege instrumental goals over relational or self-presentation goals. For example, if your partner is offered a great job in another state and you decided to go with him or her, which will move you away from your job and social circle, you would be focusing on relational goals over instrumental or self-presentation goals. When you're facing a stressful situation and need your best friend's help and call saying, "Hurry and bring me a gallon of gas or I'm going to be late to work!" you are privileging instrumental goals over relational goals. Of course, if the person really is your best friend, you can try to smooth things over or make up for your shortness later. However, you probably wouldn't call your boss and bark a request to bring you a gallon of gas so you can get to work, because you likely want your boss to see you as dependable and likable, meaning you have focused on self-presentation goals.

The functional perspective of interpersonal communication indicates that we communicate to achieve certain goals in our relationships. We get things done in our relationships by communicating for instrumental goals. We maintain positive relationships through relational goals. We also strategically present ourselves in order to be perceived in particular ways. As our goals are met and our relationships build, they become little worlds we inhabit with our relational partners, complete with their own relationship cultures.

Cultural Aspects of Interpersonal Communication

Aside from functional aspects of interpersonal communication, communicating in relationships also helps establish relationship cultures. Just as large groups of people create cultures through shared symbols (language), values, and rituals, people in relationships also create cultures at a smaller level. Relationship cultures are the climates established through interpersonal communication that are unique to the relational partners but based on larger cultural and social norms. We also enter into new relationships with expectations based on the schemata we have developed in previous relationships and learned from our larger society and culture. Think of relationship schemata as blueprints or plans that show the inner workings of a relationship. Just like a schematic or diagram for assembling a new computer desk helps you put it together, relationship schemata guide us in how we believe our interpersonal relationships should work and how to create them. So from our life experiences in our larger cultures, we bring building blocks, or expectations, into our relationships, which fundamentally connect our relationships to the outside world (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). Even though we experience our relationships as unique, they are at least partially built on preexisting cultural norms.

Some additional communicative acts that create our relational cultures include relational storytelling, personal idioms, routines and rituals, and rules and norms. Storytelling is an important part of how we create culture in larger contexts and how we create a uniting and meaningful storyline for our relationships. In fact, an anthropologist coined the term homo narrans to describe the unique storytelling capability of modern humans (Fisher, 1985). We often rely on relationship storytelling to create a sense of stability in the face of change, test the compatibility of potential new relational partners, or create or maintain solidarity in established relationships. Think of how you use storytelling among your friends, family, coworkers, and other relational partners. If you recently moved to a new place for college, you probably experienced some big changes. One of the first things you started to do was reestablish a social network-remember, human beings are fundamentally social creatures. As you began to encounter new people in your classes, at your new job, or in your new housing, you most likely told some stories of your life before-about your friends, job, or teachers back home. One of the functions of this type of storytelling, early in forming interpersonal bonds, is a test to see if the people you are meeting have similar stories or can relate to your previous relationship cultures. In short, you are testing the compatibility of your schemata with the new people you encounter. Although storytelling will continue to play a part in your relational development with these new people, you may be surprised at how quickly you start telling stories with your new friends about things that have happened since you met. You may recount stories about your first trip to the dance club together, the weird geology professor you had together, or the time you all got sick from eating the cafeteria food. In short, your old stories will start to give way to new stories that you've created. Storytelling within relationships helps create solidarity, or a sense of belonging and closeness. This type of storytelling can be especially meaningful for relationships that don't fall into the dominant culture. For example, research on a gay male friendship circle found that the gay men retold certain dramatic stories frequently to create a sense of belonging and to also bring in new members to the group (Jones Jr., 2007).

We also create personal idioms in our relationships (Bell & Healey, 1992). If you've ever studied foreign languages, you know that idiomatic expressions like "I'm under the weather today" are basically nonsense when translated. For example, the equivalent of this expression in French translates to "I'm not in my plate today." When you think about it, it doesn't make sense to use either expression to communicate that you're sick, but the meaning would not be lost on English or French speakers, because they can decode their respective idiom. This is also true of idioms we create in our interpersonal relationships. Just as idioms are unique to individual cultures and languages, personal idioms are unique to certain relationships, and they create a sense of belonging due to the inside meaning shared by the relational partners. In romantic relationships, for example, it is common for individuals to create nicknames for each other that may not directly translate for someone who overhears them. You and your partner may find that calling each other "booger" is sweet, while others may think it's gross. Researchers have found that personal idioms are commonly used in the following categories: activities, labels for others, requests, and sexual references (Bell & Healey, 1992). The recent cultural phenomenon Jersey Shore on MTV has given us plenty of examples of personal idioms created by the friends on the show. GTL is an activity idiom that stands for "gym, tan, laundry"-a common routine for the cast of the show. There are many examples of idioms labeling others, including grenade for an unattractive female, gorilla juice head for a very muscular man, and backpack for a clingy boyfriend/girlfriend or a clingy person at a club. There are also many idioms for sexual references, such as smush, meaning to hook up / have sex, and smush room, which is the room set aside for these activities (Benigno, 2010). Idioms help create cohesiveness, or solidarity in relationships, because they are shared cues between cultural insiders. They also communicate the uniqueness of the relationship and create boundaries, since meaning is only shared within the relationship.

Routines and rituals help form relational cultures through their natural development in repeated or habitual interaction (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). While "routine" may connote boring in some situations, relationship routines are communicative acts that create a sense of predictability in a relationship that is comforting. Some communicative routines may develop around occasions or conversational topics.

For example, it is common for long-distance friends or relatives to schedule a recurring phone conversation or for couples to review the day's events over dinner. When I studied abroad in Sweden, my parents and I talked on the phone at the same time every Sunday, which established a comfortable routine for us. Other routines develop around entire conversational episodes. For example, two best friends recounting their favorite spring-break story may seamlessly switch from one speaker to the other, finish each other's sentences, speak in unison, or gesture simultaneously because they have told the story so many times. Relationship rituals take on more symbolic meaning than do relationship routines and may be variations on widely recognized events-such as birthdays, anniversaries, Passover, Christmas, or Thanksgiving-or highly individualized and original. Relational partners may personalize their traditions by eating mussels and playing Yahtzee on Christmas Eve or going hiking on their anniversary. Other rituals may be more unique to the relationship, such as celebrating a dog's birthday or going to opening day at the amusement park. The following highly idiosyncratic ritual was reported by a participant in a research study:

I would check my husband's belly button for fuzz on a daily basis at bedtime. It originated when I noticed some blanket fuzz in his belly button one day and thought it was funny...We both found it funny and teased often about the fuzz. If there wasn't any fuzz for a few days my husband would put some in his belly button for me to find. It's been happening for about 10 years now (Bruess & Pearson, 1997).

Whether the routines and rituals involve phone calls, eating certain foods, or digging for belly button fuzz, they all serve important roles in building relational cultures. However, as with storytelling, rituals and routines can be negative. For example, verbal and nonverbal patterns to berate or belittle your relational partner will not have healthy effects on a relational culture. Additionally, visiting your in-laws during the holidays loses its symbolic value when you dislike them and comply with the ritual because you feel like you have to. In this case, the ritual doesn't enrich the relational culture, but it may reinforce norms or rules that have been created in the relationship.

Relationship rules and norms help with the daily function of the relationship. They help create structure and provide boundaries for interacting in the relationship and for interacting with larger social networks (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). Relationship rules are explicitly communicated guidelines for what should and should not be done in certain contexts. A couple could create a rule to always confer with each other before letting their child spend the night somewhere else. If a mother lets her son sleep over at a friend's house without consulting her partner, a more serious conflict could result. Relationship norms are similar to routines and rituals in that they develop naturally in a relationship and generally conform to or are adapted from what is expected and acceptable in the larger culture or society. For example, it may be a norm that you and your coworkers do not "talk shop" at your Friday happy-hour gathering. So when someone brings up work at the gathering, his coworkers may remind him that there's no shop talk, and the consequences may not be that serious. In regards to topic of conversation, norms often guide expectations of what subjects are appropriate within various relationships. Do you talk to your boss about your personal finances? Do you talk to your father about your sexual activity? Do you tell your classmates about your medical history? In general, there are no rules that say you can't discuss any of these topics with anyone you choose, but relational norms usually lead people to answer "no" to the questions above. Violating relationship norms and rules can negatively affect a relationship, but in general, rule violations can lead to more direct conflict, while norm violations can lead to awkward social interactions. Developing your interpersonal communication competence will help you assess your communication in relation to the many rules and norms you will encounter.

Exercises

1. Getting integrated: In what ways might interpersonal communication competence vary among academic, professional, and civic contexts? What competence skills might be more or less important in one context than in another?

2. Recount a time when you had a DTR talk. At what stage in the relationship was the talk? What motivated you or the other person to initiate the talk? What was the result of the talk?

3. Pick an important relationship and describe its relationship culture. When the relationship started, what relationship schemata guided your expectations? Describe a relationship story that you tell with this person or about this person. What personal idioms do you use? What routines and rituals do you observe? What norms and rules do you follow?

References

Bell, R. A. and J. G. Healey, "Idiomatic Communication and Interpersonal Solidarity in Friends' Relational Cultures," Human Communication Research 18 (1992): 307-35.

Benigno, A., "Jersey Shore Glossary: This Dictionary of Terms Will Get You (Fist) Pumped for Season Two," N.Y. Daily News, July 28, 2010, http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-07-28/entertainment/27071281_1_jersey-shore-fist-pump-snooki.

Bruess, C. J. S. and Judy C. Pearson, "Interpersonal Rituals in Marriage and Adult Friendship," Communication Monographs 64, no. 1 (1997): 35.

Burleson, B. R., Sandra Metts, and Michael W. Kirch, "Communication in Close Relationships," in Close Relationships: A Sourcebook, eds. Clyde Hendrick and Susan S. Hendrick (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2000), 247.

Candland, D. K., Feral Children and Clever Animals: Reflections on Human Nature (New York: Oxford University Press, 1995).

Fisher, W. R., "Narration as Human Communication Paradigm: The Case of Public Moral Argument," Communication Monographs 51, no. 1 (1985): 1-22.

Goffman, E., The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (New York: Anchor Books, 1959).

Hargie, O., Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice (London: Routledge, 2011), 2.

Jones Jr., R. G., "Drag Queens, Drama Queens, and Friends: Drama and Performance as a Solidarity Building Function in a Gay Male Friendship Circle," Kaleidoscope: A Graduate Journal of Qualitative Communication Research 6, no. 1 (2007): 61-84.

Leary, M. R., "Toward a Conceptualization of Interpersonal Rejection," in Interpersonal Rejection, ed. Mark R. Leary (New York: Oxford University Press, 2001), 3-20.

National Association of Colleges and Employers, Job Outlook 2011 (2010): 25.

Shalev, S., "Solitary Confinement and Supermax Prisons: A Human Rights and Ethical Analysis," Journal of Forensic Psychology Practice 11, no. 2 (2011): 151.

Williams, K. D. and Lisa Zadro, "Ostracism: On Being Ignored, Excluded, and Rejected," in Interpersonal Rejection, ed. Mark R. Leary (New York: Oxford University Press, 2001), 21-54.

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6.1 Principles of Interpersonal Communication

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Define interpersonal communication. Discuss the functional aspects of interpersonal communication. Discuss the cultural aspects of interpersonal communication.

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Strong interpersonal skills are important for employers because most jobs require you to effectively interact with other people. These skills are now vital for success in the workplace.

In this article, we discuss different types of interpersonal communication skills.

What is interpersonal communication?

Interpersonal communication is the interaction and exchange of information between two or more people. This can be verbal and/or non-verbal communication.

Key interpersonal communication skills

Effective interpersonal communication skills are required to form connections and establish relationships. There are many different types - we have described eleven of the most important skills:

Verbal communication

Verbal communication skills are important for the majority of occupations because they help you interact effectively and build rapport.

Tips:

Tailor your speech to the audience by, for example, avoiding technical terminology.

Ask questions to show your interest in what is being said.

Match what you're saying with your voice and your body language.

Reflect on what someone has said by summarising and paraphrasing.

Actively listening.

Active listening

Active listening is listening beyond the words being spoken - understanding the message being communicated. During conversations, a lot of the time the "listener" is thinking about how they're going to respond rather than concentrating on what the speaker is saying.

By really listening you can provide a more thoughtful answer that takes the speaker's thoughts and opinions into account. This will help people around you understand that you value and appreciate them.

To develop active listening you should practice the following:

1. Pay attention - give the speaker your complete attention rather than thinking about your response.

2. Show the speaker that you're listening and that you're interested - body language is especially helpful for this.

3. Clarify your understanding - you need to ensure that you understand what the speaker is saying without your judgments and beliefs getting in the way so ensure you reflect and ask questions.

4. Don't interrupt or redirect the conversation.

5. Provide a suitable response that is honest but polite.

Body language

The impression others form of you is roughly split by:

So body language is significantly used to understand what is being said.

When communicating with others your aim is to display open body language, such as, a relaxed posture, maintaining eye contact, uncrossed arms, nodding your head, smiling etc. Closed body language should be avoided as you may be perceived as uninterested or even untrustworthy, for example, folding arms or legs, avoiding eye contact, shifting eyes, fidgeting etc.

Openness

Don't just speak with people who have similar views to your own, you should also speak to those who have opposing opinions. Show an interest in what they say with the aim of understanding how they think. This will help with your own development as it challenges you and people will admire you for this because it shows a willingness to learn from others even if you are in disagreement.

Negotiation skills

Negotiation is important in a variety of situations, for example, you may need it to resolve a conflict or create a contract. You must be able to come to mutual agreements that keep everyone satisfied even if there is compromise. Being able to negotiate leads to respect and people will trust you as they know you look out for everyone's best interests.

Decision making and problem-solving skills

Most jobs have elements of problem-solving - this is where you think of solutions to deal with a problem. This type of creative thinking can help maintain harmony within a team. The general structure to problem-solving is:

Identifying the problem

Exploring all of the solutions

Deciding on which solution to implement

Implementing the solution

Reviewing the outcome

Conflict resolution

It's likely that you'll need to resolve a conflict at some point. Active listening and problem-solving are useful for this as you'll need to hear from all sides objectively and you'll need to come to a positive resolution.

Resolving conflict is not always a negative experience - it can be very constructive and provide you with an understanding of underlying problems, for example, perhaps a team member is having difficulties at home which is making them more irritable.

By forming a plan with those involved, you can help them move forward and manage their difficulties. They may have never experienced this constructive help before your mediation.

Assertiveness

Assertiveness is when you confidently express your needs and opinions in a fair, honest and calm way whilst considering the needs and views of other people. People are more likely to like and respect you if you're assertive in your communication rather than passive or aggressive.

Tips:

Tell the other person how you feel.

Listen to what the other person says and empathise.

Speak at a normal conversational volume.

Maintain eye contact.

Avoid words that exaggerate, such as, "always" and never".

Use facts rather than judgements.

Positive attitude

People want to be around others that are friendly and have a positive outlook even when the company may be in a difficult situation. You don't have to be incredibly sociable but you must develop some type of positive rapport with your team so that the workplace is pleasant for everybody.

Teamwork

For a business to function effectively people must work well together in order to achieve a common goal. Some people struggle with teamwork because they believe that they know how to do the job better than anyone else and they do not trust others to do their roles. This can create conflict and hurt the overall effectiveness of the team.

If this is something you find difficult assist your colleagues whenever you can and ask your colleagues for their opinions and ideas - be enthusiastic when colleagues offer their own ideas.

Empathy

To be empathetic means that you are able to identify and understand others' emotions i.e. imagining yourself in someone else's position. Being empathetic shows your team that you care. For example, if a manager reacts angrily after finding out that an employee has been arriving to work late because their child is unwell, the team is likely to react negatively towards the manager.

It would be more favourable for the manager to be understanding and agree on a plan of action with the employee, such as, the employee starting work earlier and finishing later. Employees and colleagues will respect and trust you more if you empathise with them and express compassion.

Also, understanding how people feel will help you communicate your thoughts and ideas in a way that makes sense to others and it helps you understand others when they communicate.

In summary

Your job performance will improve if you develop your interpersonal skills because you will be more of a cohesive member of the company. It's also likely that your job satisfaction will increase because you will form stronger relationships with your colleagues.

By becoming more aware of how you interact with others and by practicing you can improve your interpersonal communication skills.

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Key Interpersonal Communication Skills you need to Improve

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Strong interpersonal skills are important for employers because most jobs require you to effectively interact with other people. These skills are now vital for success in the workplace. In this article, we discuss different types of interpersonal communication skills. Interpersonal communication is the interaction and exchange of information between two or more people.

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Interpersonal communication skills are essential in creating success, and they're so simple to learn.

What are interpersonal communication skills?

'Interpersonal communication skills' is another way of saying 'people skills'. In other words, they are the skills that we use every day when interacting with others. We use them in communication, collaboration and coordination, and a lot of the time we don't even notice.

The fact we don't notice them makes it difficult to notice when they may not be very strong, but we always notice when they aren't as strong in others. Therefore, others will always notice when they are not as strong in you.

Practicing and mastering your interpersonal communication skills is a sure-fire way to boost your success in work and in your personal life. They can help you to communicate with those above you, as well as to collaborate with your peers. It's a simple matter of practice and understanding certain cues.

There are two types of interpersonal communication skills: silent and conversational.

1. Patience

Probably one of the most important of all interpersonal communication skills is patience. No employer wants to have to deal with troublemakers, and no colleague wants to work with the one who constantly loses their cool.

This skill does not have specific cues; it simply takes practice. Keeping a level head in heated situations can be difficult. It helps to take a deep breath and focus on the outcome that will benefit you the most and act accordingly.

Allow the other person to say their piece and respond in a respectful way. Employers will be much more appreciative of those who can keep their cool in stressful situations, and peers will be much more willing to collaborate with you.

Not only that, but patience in your personal life will achieve much more positive outcomes in relationships with family and friends.

2. Active Listening

Active listening isn't just paying full attention to who is speaking, but also what is being said. Although it can be easy to get distracted and bored through long meetings, practicing active listening will be endlessly beneficial.

Cues:

The best way to practice interpersonal communication skills such as active listening is to practice. Put away all potential distractions. Put your phone in your bag and keep it silent. Pay attention to what is being said and, at the end of a meeting or conversation, summarise it to yourself to make sure you understood.

3. Positive Body Language

Boredom and disinterest will be easy to read through your body language if you are not careful. So, even if you are bored and disinterested, make sure you don't show it.

Cues:

Avoid:

Positive body language shows that you are interested in what is being said by a superior, but also makes you much more approachable to peers and employees.

Combining positive body language with active listening is the key to success.

4. Verbal Communication

Verbal communication is essential in all areas of life. The ability to communicate, or lack of ability, can make or break a presentation, and even change the route of a conversation.

When presenting information, make sure that you know and understand your material. Prepare for the presentation and make sure that you make plenty of eye contact and speak slowly and clearly. Presentations require confidence and relaxation, so the better you know your stuff, the better you will come across.

In conversations, have a friendly disposition, ask questions and clarify any information you have to offer. Allow yourself to relax and be clear when you speak. Don't forget to make eye contact and practice that all-important positive body language.

5. Relating to Others

Relating to others is the most underestimated of all interpersonal communication skills. Nobody likes to feel as though they are being patronized by a boss or college, so if you are in a position of power, take note.

You do not always have to agree with someone, but situations where disagreements arise, the ability to relate to others is especially important. Make sure to stay patient and let them know that you understand their position or opinion, but that you simply disagree with it.

If you have to give orders, do so in a respectful manner, and don't underestimate how far a 'please' and 'thank you' will get you!

Interpersonal communication skills are some of the most basic communication skills that we use on a daily basis. So much so that we don't think about how important it is to practice them. As you can see, all of these interpersonal communication skills connect to one another, so it can be easy to forget all of the skills we need to use in different situations.

The more you practice, the easier it will be to understand the skill the situation calls for and the more successful your interactions will become.

If you are looking for success in your professional or personal life, interpersonal communication skills are a very simple tool to help you achieve it.

References:

By Francesca F.

Copyright © 2014-2021 Life Advancer. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

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5 Interpersonal Communication Skills That Will Help You Succeed In Life

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
'Interpersonal communication skills' is another way of saying 'people skills'. In other words, they are the skills that we use every day when interacting with others. We use them in communication, collaboration and coordination, and a lot of the time we don't even notice.

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New research on interpersonal communication from Harvard Business School faculty on issues including how to be a better listener, why dominating leaders kill teams, and strategies for making concessions.

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Interpersonal Communication: Articles, Research, & Case Studies on Interpersonal Communication - HBS Working Knowledge

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New research on interpersonal communication from Harvard Business School faculty on issues including how to be a better listener, why dominating leaders kill teams, and strategies for making concessions.