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Hello class! Wow just thinking about how I am going to compose my idea is overwhelming. I have never used any type of media in my life and I am still working on ways to get it into a great project for you.

I will reach my audience by hopefully incorporating pictures that coincide with my idea along with my voice over.  I intend to fully explain the importance and beauty of self-love and that first steps, even small steps are so important in this journey of freedom and safety.
My intent is to help others that may be on the same journey. Maybe you won't relate to this topic today but if you ever do, hopefully, you will think back and remember some key components from my idea.

My idea should be accepted into the Ted Symposium because so many people struggle with surviving and leaving toxic, abusive relationships and it is truly a hard thing to go through. People need insight, clarity, and encouragement.

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1. How does Anderson define a Throughline? Anderson describes a throughline as a connecting theme that ties elements together.

2. What is one of the steps to finding your Throughline? Finding something that you are passionate about to speak about.

3. What elements must a Throughline contain? Connection, Exploration, Narration, persuasion, revelation.

4. List two quotes or examples that stick out to you.  An example that stuck out to me was that since the TED needs to not exceed 18 minutes it is better to leave out less important points than to try to cram all of the points in.
Another example that stood out to me was that all talks can be structured differently.

5. According to Anderson, what should a Throughline be? A throughline should be what connects the topics.

6. How is a Throughline different than a "topic"? A topic is what you are speaking about. A throughline is an opening line that ties all of the elements together.

7. Take what you know and have heard about thesis statements and compare the two. Is a throughline the same as a thesis? It is different because it is different elements instead of just what the topic is.

8. What are the components of the "right way" to write a TED Talk?  Keeping the talk in 18 min or less, keeping the audience engaged, and staying on topic.

9. What is the difference between an issue and an idea? An issue talks about a problem. An idea talks about a solution.

10. What comes after you have your Throughline? The context and main concepts.

Anderson, Chris. TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking.  First Mariner, 2017.

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1. My research journey started with an intimate story that was from a true life experience. It was an afterthought, a memory that remains vivid and echos in my mind.

2. My idea shifted from a terrible situation to a positive thing that showcased the self-worth I have for myself. Also, my idea shifted from a negative thing to bringing out the awareness that sometimes we have to go through hard things to find our strength.

3. I am curious if the memories and echo of past experiences ever leave our daily thoughts if they made such a deep impression in our minds.

4. I want to get others to think about self-love and self-worth because as long as you have that, you will realize what you deserve and what kind of things and people that you can rise above and not need in your life.

5. In my research in college, I learned that no matter the topic, you can always learn more about it if you continue to do research and let new ideas into your mind.

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Stop 9- Cross-pollination (Observation of group of people)

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Stop 9- Cross-pollination (Observation of group of people)

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As I was thinking about cross-pollination this week, I realized something/had an idea about something. We are all cross-pollinating every day lately. We are all living in difficult times this year as it has been different than any of us have ever experienced before. I chose to make this stop about observing I have been doing. I work in a restaurant (Extremely close to the school, I have possibly unknowingly seen some of you in person). We are cross-pollinating at my work every day. We are crossing cautions of the Covid 19 virus with our everyday lives. We are wearing masks, cleaning more, keeping distance and following stricter guidelines, and cross-pollinating that with still staying in business and keeping the company functioning as normal as possible. Instead of completely shutting down or the other extreme of not using precautions, we are continuously doing both on a daily basis. So I have seen the idea of cross-pollination in my daily life.

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Hello! So far I am really enjoying this class. There are so many things that I like about it. The thing that makes this class easier than my others is that in D2L it shows exactly what is Due on Mondays and Thursdays. I love that feature! Honestly I wish I was taking the class in person because I am more of an in person person than an online person. I would much rather be able to ask questions and get clarification in class than through emails. The only part I am having lot of trouble with is digging deeper and researching my topic. I am definitely running on fumes when it comes to knowing what else to say about my topic without being redundant. So I have been stressing thinking I am doing it wrong. But aside from that, this is a great class that I have enjoyed thus far! Thank you MRS. Lew!

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Stop 7 Rhetorical reading >>>>>. Gatekeeper 7B Reading Deeply

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Stop 7 Rhetorical reading >>>>>. Gatekeeper 7B Reading Deeply

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In the article "Self Esteem, By Osborne, Randall E., Salem Press Encyclopedia of Health, 2019," I found through to FRCC Library, Osborne is trying to be clear about the definition of self-esteem. He is speaking to an audience that wants straight forward facts and does not give opinions at all. He sticks straight to facts and to me it seemed like a very cold, straightforward article. I did like that he added a photo of William James.  James gave the first clear definition of self-esteem in 1892. "Self Esteem, By Osborne, Randall E., Salem Press Encyclopedia of Health, 2019,". Osborne addresses self-esteem in childhood and also goes over the downside of people having negative self-esteem. I have found that the articles found through the FRCC website are very straight forward and outdated as opposed to the articles that I find through researching online through other outlets such as Google or Ted Talks. Though Osborne does make some very great points. He cited his information extremely well and I really liked the placement of the photo and the look or his article. I feel as if I am combining Rhetorical and Active reading in this post. Below is a link to the article and the photo of William James.
http://eds.a.ebscohost.com.frccwc.idm.oclc.org/eds/detail/detail?vid=1&sid=f34db46c-0c29-4dbb-864f-78c7194e47ff%40sessionmgr4006&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWRzLWxpdmU%3d#AN=93872219&db=ers

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The 5 takeaways I took from the video  "Check yourself with lateral reading" By John Green is,
1. Lateral reading can be exhausting but it works.
2. There is no single source and no way to get absolute truth because facts are written by people and people make mistakes.
3. Newspapers can be a good source for fact-checking yet they can also add their own point of view.
4. Fact-checking websites can be wrong as well because again, they are written by humans.
5. Though you should not trust everything you see on Wikipedia, it can be a good starting off point for research.

I have found that fact-checking websites can be wrong and this far in my research I have found articles or talks from authors that have personal experience with the subject which to me, even though that can also skew views because of being to emotional about the subject, I find that personally relating to a topic is invaluable.

I find that the two videos have a lot of the same information but John green goes into more depth about lateral reading and points out the pros and cons better.

When doing research and lateral reading about my topic I found different views about my topic but it was mostly good because it was different ways to help people. I feel that my research topic is harder to fact check because it is not really a completely factual topic. People handle and view the topic of abuse so differently that I don't think it is a good research topic for fact-checking. Everyone handles abuse and healing so differently that it would be unfair to them to fact check how they feel, Though what can be checked is that a lot of people have the same coping skills.

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For two years, I could not believe I had found someone so perfect for me. My friends were jealous of the seem to be perfect love that I had found. We even took pre-marital counseling and passed without a single red flag. Maybe the red flag was that everything seemed so perfect. For the first two years, everything went along just fine. He always wanted to have two sons and about a month after our second son was born, something drastically changed. It is like he was a completely different person. He started with name-calling that I chalked up to him having a bad day. The next step was having nothing I was doing to meet his expectations. And sure enough, the physical abuse shortly followed the mental and verbal abuse. As stated in an article on Psychologytoday.com, it can be hard to spot abusive people until it becomes too late. "The drive for control, power, and authority while instilling doubt, shame, and dependence in their partner characterizes narcissistic abuse. Perpetrators may blame the victim and refuse to take any responsibility for their behavior. They may isolate and denigrate the victim, or leverage verbal abuse and manipulation." (Psychology Today,2020). Unfortunately, this is a widespread problem that goes ignored because, in public, the abuser seems so charming and normal. It can happen to anyone, it happens slowly. Know the signs and get out immediately before the abuse gets deeper.

(Psychology Today, 2020)

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http://youtu.be/Ww730L2DqSE?hd=1
Hello! I encourage you to use JSTOR for your research needs. It is extremely simple and free!

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Post 4:  The importance of self love (Summary and response)

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Post 4:  The importance of self love (Summary and response)

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I found another great article about self-love from an online platform called The Daily Star. This article is brief and encouraging. It speaks about the importance of self-love because as we learned in the last article that I researched, self-love is a key component in being able to see the life you deserve and move forward.
This article speaks about what happens when we do not exercise self-love. The author states that "As a consequence, we end up being too hard on ourselves all too often without even realizing. All of us are more or less stuck up and consumed by our work, social interactions, life goals, weekend plans, and so on."
He also states that "Self-love has many benefits; the first benefit is greater life satisfaction. When we love ourselves more we instantly change our perspective of the world. Self-love can give us a more positive attitude towards life.

The second benefit of self-love is that it can encourage us to pick up good habits. Self-love means loving your body, soul, and mind. Therefore, people who love themselves often refrain from doing things that will have an impact on their tranquility. Thus, it can help us adopt healthy habits."

As a response, I agree that we have to get our mental state better in order to move forward because we can move forward. And it starts with self-love.

https://www.thedailystar.net/lifestyle/reader%E2%80%99s-chit/news/the-importance-self-love-1684162#:~:text=Self%2Dlove%20has%20many%20benefits,more%20positive%20attitude%20towards%20life.&text=Another%20important%20benefit%20of%20self%2Dlove%20is%20better%20mental%20health.

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Post 3: Love yourself (Summary and response)

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Post 3: Love yourself (Summary and response)

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I stumbled across an article that I enjoyed By Jennifer Grace, called " When you know it's time to let go and love yourself more."
In this article, she states 5 signs that is it time to let go of a relationship and love yourself more because you can't possibly love at full capacity if you don't love yourself enough. The 5 points that she makes are all incredible but I would like to focus on the two that stood out to me the most.
Her second to the last point is titled "When you have lost self-worth". This paragraph goes into detail about why it is extremely important to keep your self worth or even gain it if you never had it. You need to live in the present and realize that in the moments that you are being treated badly that you deserve better. self-worth". This is huge when it comes to abusive situations and staying because a lot of times people lose self-worth so slowly that they do not even notice that it is happening. Their partner is so good at letting it slowly creep in and before you know it, it's gone and you gave little pieces of yourself for so long that you did not even realize it was leaving. This is a very dangerous situation to be in because you never want to lose your self-worth. You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. You should be your best friend and your biggest supporter because you are an amazing force to be reckoned with. So having self-worth is a key component in surviving mentally.
Finally, she makes her last point which says, "Feeling lost and out of control?"
This point states the importance of being in control because you can not possibly function as well as you should if you are lost and out of control.  often times when we are Lost or out of control we can not focus on daily tasks or even have the clarity that we need to get out of the situation.
After reading this source I am encouraged to practice more self-love.
I encourage you to read the article.

https://www.lifehack.org/379389/when-you-know-its-time-to-let-go-and-love-yourself-more

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What is Carr's big idea? In other words, what does he want us to believe as a result of reading his work? Carr wants us to believe and realize how much Google and other related sources affects our way of thinking and our concentration.

What example from the text of how technology has impacted our thinking did you find most interesting? I found it extremely interesting that due to technology and screens, people are having trouble focusing on pages and on one thing for too long. He gave an example of not being able to finish a book. Our brains are on hyper drive and it is hard for them to slow down.

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How many sources did he use in his essay? I believe I found 15 sources in the article.

Give three examples of various types of sources.

1. New York University professor, Clay Shirky

2. Harvard business review

3. Study of online research habits

Why did he use so many sources? He used a lot of sources because the more outside sources you have, the more evidence and related thinking you have,

What lesson does that hold for you as a researcher on an idea journey? I learned that you can never have too many sources and the more sources you have the better. I was impressed by his lengthy research.

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Activating schema on active "Google" reading

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Activating schema on active "Google" reading

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I activated schema by completely relating to this topic as I have said many of these same things before. I noticed how he progressed from a slight wondering about the topic to really thinking about it enough to write about it. I like how he gave examples of how when we have Google to do the thinking for us it dulls our own thinking.

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Curious about this, I decided to do some research.... (361 words)

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Curious about this, I decided to do some research.... (361 words)

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I started to think about this question, "Why did I stay during times I feared for my life yet leave when something milder happened?" I researched why people stay in abusive relationships. My finding were things that I have definitely heard before over and over again. Yes, I had probably thought about those reasons a time or two but they didn't exactly line up with my reasonings for staying. Here is what I found. According to several blogs and studies, lots of people stay due to not having a place to reside if they leave, the shame of leaving a relationship, and also a backlash from the abuser. I found things to be different for myself. I have two kids from the marriage and breaking apart a family was my main concern. Also, leaving and thinking maybe there was more I could have done to save the relationship and family (which is never the right way to go when you are being physically abused). I found a blog that talks about moving on in the present moment. It talks about how we must be present at the moment. It says that we need to "experience how broken it is" in order to see the relationship for what it is. I believe I did this a lot and when I finally realized that I was worth more than the way I was being treated and that my kids would actually be happier out of that toxic environment, I was free. I was my own person again and I was able to take control of my life and move forward and move on. I was able to see what my kids and I needed and wanted and how our lives could be better. So I fell in love with myself and my dreams and passions because my brain was able to focus on things other than survival mode. "Be in the present". Great advice from the blog and from myself.  So maybe an idea is this, Can our minds be so bogged down with stress and being in survival mode that there is no room for it to clearly think about other things?
https://www.heysigmund.com/toxic-relationship-how-to-let-go/comment-page-3/

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I reread my story trying to dig deeper and realized that when I wrote the story I was thinking that the story was mostly about what my ex-husband was doing to me. But, as I reread I realized that I was actually mostly describing what I was feeling, what I was thinking in those moments, and finally, the skill of the self-control and coping mechanisms that I had learned through the years. I did not start off knowing how to remain calm and to just get through the moment unscathed. It took years of trial and error. Knowing what fueled his fire and what actions I should take. It was like being in a booby-trapped room and the creator of the booby traps was there, trying to lead you into the traps. I used to fall into the traps. I fell into so many miserable traps. But now that I am on the other side of it, even in other situations in my life, I am able to stay calmer. So I learned from these horrible situations and came out with some good things as well. I used to use these coping mechanisms as strengths. I thought I was strong and that I could remain in the situation and I let it be my everyday routine. So why did I get so comfortable being in survival mode? Why did I think I should have to just put up with being treated poorly for the rest of my life? And why did it take one of the less scary situations to finally make me leave? I had feared for my life in some moments. So when and why was I finally able to let go and realize that I was not meant to live that life?

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Below is the youtube link for my updated academic summary.
I am really struggling with the summary. I am getting confused about what to include and what not to include because I thought i was not supposed to leave details, So feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zq-iIuCDHz4

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I chose to do my academic summary on this TED talk because the speaker completely captured me with her emotion and I felt every word she was saying. I encourage you to watch.
https://youtu.be/GkH0jZPLB5M

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Hello everyone,
I decided to do my active reading on a subject that has always sparked my interest because I am absolutely terrible at this process! My boyfriend on the other hand, is amazing at it and has taught my kids (which are better at it than i am) how to use CHOPSTICKS.
I activated Schema by relating to the topic as mentioned above. My boyfriend is interested in Asian culture and it has enticed me to venture into trying out chopsticks as well. I love that the TedTalk goes into the history of chopsticks and gives several references of time and interesting facts abut how they came about. A note that I took from the TedTalk was, I wrote down the speakers excitement on the topic. It was obviously very close to her heart and I loved her passion. This will also help me in my public speaking class because i would love to be as passionate as this speaker was.
Below is the TedTalk link. I encourage you to watch!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSciinXdGhI

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I woke up to the intoxicating sound of him pouring my favorite kind of coffee from the carafe. The smell of the strong beans instantly brought the most calming, enchanting feelings to my half-awakened mind. That first sip that touched my lips was exactly what I needed to start one of the best, interesting days of our lives.
We took the elevator down the twenty-eight levels and felt the warm humidity as soon as we exited the building. The smell of powdered sugar and fried shrimp filled the air. This is New Orleans. This is Jazz town.
The river walk, filled with street performers and Seagulls looking for their next meal is a beautiful yet sometimes dangerous place. We walked peacefully with no quick intent. We would stop for photos and just to enjoy the slight breeze.  Snowballs in hand, our minds completely on each other, and the beauty of this renowned place.
Someone else was on a walk that day with a completely different agenda. We noticed a man that would stop not too far behind every time we stopped. We would take a photo, so would he. We would walk a few steps, so would he. We soon realized that we were being followed. Not sure what to do we acted natural and tried to walk around crowds hoping the man would lose interest in us. He kept following and we were running out of ideas of how to lose him, then a sign from above, just like we had seen in countless movies, a train was coming. Though against our natural instincts, we took our chances and jumped across the train tracks just before the train bustled through the old city. We ran out of sight until the train had passed. And sure enough, we were out of sight of the man following.
I think back on that day often. If it was not for the coincidence of the train, how would we have gotten away? What was the man's intent? I had always assumed that someone trying to harm or mug someone would target a single person as opposed to a couple.
Here we are, years later, still enjoying coffee together. Saved by a train.

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For the first time in 24 hours, I could rest. A peaceful, still feeling consumed me as I knew at any moment my life would be changing forever. The room was quiet other than the sound of your heartbeat that was so pronounced and strong,. Though I had not met you yet, I could tell how strong you would be just be listening to that heartbeat over and over again. It was a melody I will never forget. Your heart was strong like angels singing in a rainstorm. The sound captivated me and its beat kept me focused and able to get through the night.
Earlier that day was more chaotic. The day started off normally and by the end of it, I had gone from a little girl to a woman. This was the day I officially met you. The day I officially got to be called "Mommy".
When we arrived at the hospital I did not know what to expect. I had a birthing plan but of course, most of that was tossed aside as nature took over.
I definitely did not want an Epidural. I had two. And even with those two, I was still feeling pain beyond anything I had ever felt before. That was when the anesthesiologist decided to give me something that he called his "own concoction". If I was not in so much pain, my brain would have probably given me some red flags and told me to just deal with the pain. But, I said okay and took him up on his offer.
So there we were. Back in that peaceful moment that I spoke of. Now I can finally rest and I know that I will meet you soon.
After your heartbeat soothed me to sleep, the aura of the room drastically changed like a sudden sandstorm of chaos.
Seven nurses and doctors rushed into the room asking me if I was okay. Of course, I was okay. I had the concoction, I didn't feel a thing.
The concoction was so strong that it caused a seven-minute contraction that I did not even feel. When contractions happen, it is harder for babies to breathe. Your heartbeat dropped dangerously low and we were thrown into complete uncertainty.
The Doctor informed me that you were almost here and he could feel your head so I needed to push or we would be going into an emergency C-section.
You did such a great job. all it took were three pushes and there you were.
My sweet little boy with that strong beating heart and those precious little lips.
It is now 8 years later and your heart is still the rhythm that I dance to. You made me a mommy and I will always be a better person because of you.

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For my rhetorical reading I chose my favorite writing by Edgar Allan Poe.
PURPOSE: The purpose in his story was to convince us that even though he had done something that was completely insane, that he was not mad.
AUDIENCE: He is speaking to an audience that likes suspense and twists in stories.
RHETORICAL APPEALS: He entices the audience by trying to get us on his side and to help us understand his reasoning for doing what he did.
STYLE: He is speaking directly to us and explaining bis every move so that we can really get a glimpse of exactly what happened.
ELEMENTS OF THE GENRE: He is trying to get us excited about why he did it because he wants us to understand so he can feel justified.
Apply: The writer definitely has a different style of writing than a lot of current authors do. His text is an old school way of writing and I really enjoy seeing how language has evolved over the years.

The tell-tale heart By Edgar Allan Poe
https://www.poemuseum.org/the-tell-tale-heart

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Hello again! I watched a Ted Talk titled:  Try something new for 30 days. I really liked this talk because I feel the speaker did well in explaining his journey. The idea is to try something new for 30 days because 30 days is about the time it takes to both create new habits or to drop old habits. My Schema was activated because this is something that I try to do so I could easily relate to the topic at hand. The goal is to choose a challenge that is not too extreme for you to keep up with. Simple change = sustainable change. For instance, you would probably be more successful at drinking 1 cup less coffee a day than not drinking coffee at all. The origin of the story came from the fact that we truly are creatures of habit and someone had the idea that we can change our habits in a positive way.  What is something that you would consider trying for 30 days?

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What I learned from reading "Living through terror"

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What I learned from reading "Living through terror"

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Activating schema: First I would like to say how enthralled I was by this story. The author Haider Warraich was so captivating with his intensity and I was impressed with his recollection of the events.  I believe a lot of people would have been in shock, therefore unable to recall so many details. I connected with his story because I remember watching the events take place on TV that day. It was so terrifying to watch and he brought the details back to my mind with his descriptive text.
Comprehending the details of the main idea: I was intrigued from the beginning by his description of him and his wife eating in the food court. He took a completely normal day and explained how in a brief few moments, it turned to tragedy. At any given moment your world could become completely different and he really brought that to light. I believe he was also trying to have us step into his shoes and see another terror of his that was in addition to the chaos that was happening. He was also afraid that people around him would stereotype and question if he was responsible for the even due to his race. That is an aspect that I would not of thought of had he not gone into such great detail.
Identifying elements of descriptive writing: Warriach was extremely descriptive in his writing, explaining "Forks left in steaks" and "Stuble" on his chin. He did a great job of sparking my idea of what he looks like.  He used a great analogy of the bombs he would hear as a child in Pakistan and the bombs he heard at the marathon. I really loved his analogy of the water glass ripples that we all remember from Jurassic park.
I learned a lot through his descriptive writing and for my own descriptive writing I honestly do not use any tools other than my brain. I try different descriptive words in a sentence until I find one that fits just right with what I am trying to portray. I feel it helps me to continue to do my own thinking rather than always relying on something else to spark an idea because our brains and such incredible inspiration and idea holders.

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Post 6: 30 Ways to Practice Self-Love and Be Good to Yourself

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Post 6: 30 Ways to Practice Self-Love and Be Good to Yourself

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In the blog, "30 Ways to Practice Self-Love and Be Good to Yourself,"  Jessie Hays gives us 30 different extraordinary ways to practice self-love.  She states some things that would seem extremely simple such as "Start each day by telling yourself something really positive. How well you handled a situation, how lovely you look today. Anything that will make you smile." (Jessie Hayes, Lifehack, Oct 2020). to things that would seem much harder such as "Let go of past trauma and wounds." (Jessie Hayes, Lifehack, Oct 2020). She makes many wonderful suggestions about how to practice self-love. Therefore. it will take time to be able to do all of these fluently in your life. But small steps take you places so get started!

I really enjoyed this article because though it showed me some ideas that I already try to practice daily, it gave me ideas that I need to focus more on. Such as, "Get in touch with your inner dialogue. If it’s anything less than loving, encouraging, and supportive, it’s time to make a change. You deserve to be spoken to in the same way you would speak to your best friend, sister, brother, daughter, or son."  (Jessie Hayes, Lifehack, Oct 2020).  We are harder on ourselves than anyone else because we can see all of our flows daily, But it is important to realize that we all have flaws and that we are all deserving of self-love. So  I encourage you to practice it daily.

What is something you would like to try to practice self-love?
And what is something you have already tried and worked for you on your self-love journey?
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/30-ways-practice-self-love-and-good-yourself.html

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In the video "Violence against women," Dr. Georgia Nemetz explains three reasons why women stay in abusive relationships. First, Nemetz talks about women that stay because of low self-esteem that is an effect of the abuse. Second, Nemetz speaks about women that stay because they have no money to leave and no vocational skills to be able to support themselves and kids. Finally, Nemetz states that women stay because they feel they deserve the abuse. Nemetz also includes resources for getting out of an abusive situation successfully. The video includes an array of areas of abuse including physical, mental, and even verbal abuse.  The video also states that 95% of abusers are men and that "Men who witness violence by their fathers are three times more likely to abuse their own wives." “Violence Against Women.” Films On Demand, Films Media Group, 1995

The video went over a lot of points. For example, Kathleen Casey Theisen, says "Most kids hear what you say; some kids do what you say, but all kids do what you do." This quote really hit home for me because I ended up leaving not only for my children but for myself. My kid's temperament and behaviors changed after we left the abusive situation. So even though I stayed for my kids as long as I could, I eventually realized that instead of staying for them, I needed to leave for them. For the kids, in particular, I found there were cons of staying and the cons of leaving but that the cons of staying outweighed the cons of leaving the situation. I also feel the need to point out that although 95% of abusers are men, abuse by women happens as well. This video does a great job of covering not only different types of abuse but also, ways to get help if you are being abused which is incredibly helpful for people that do not know where to turn or how to safely and quickly get out of an abusive situation.

I was glad to see that the video also mentioned treatment centers where abusers can get help, The first step is the abuser realizing that they are abusive and being brave enough to admit that need help and finally, to actually seek help. Some abusers get caught up In the moment and can realize after the moment that they need help. The problem is, sometimes it is too late and the abused is either injured internally, externally, and even dead sometimes. So it is important for the abused to leave the home and get to a safe place before it is too late.

“Violence Against Women.” Films On Demand, Films Media Group, 1995

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Hi! My name is Kellye and I think what it takes for a great idea is the ability to have an open mind and let your thoughts creep out of the box. It is never too late to start learning something new. You can learn from others and others can learn from you. There is also no limit to learning and I think that is a beautiful thing . You can learn in several ways. Observing, reading, feeling, walking in nature. What is something interesting that you have learned about yourself? I am excited to be on this journey of learning with all of you.

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I could feel my temperature start to rise as I started to take deeper breathes to try and remain calm. As I hear his growling voice getting louder like the whistles of an approaching train, I close my eyes. If I focus on my breathing and not his harsh words that I know not to be true, I can get through this.  If I remain calm and quiet he will not feed off of my emotions and win this game that he so frequently engages in.
This is a team sport. He needs me to make a move if he will continue to play. I speak quietly, not allowing him to see my emotions raging within me. I stay logical and to the point because any straying from the topic, any sarcastic words or insults gives him what he wants, a player in his toxic game. If I lose my cool and decide to play there is no turning back. He will win the round and I will be left to care for my own wounds that he so longed to have as his trophy.  So I remain strong as my heart is racing like a horse that has just finished her strenuous race.
I go upstairs, I pack my things, my heart says goodbye and as he goes to sleep that night I make my final move. I leave my key on the counter and take my favorite picture off of the wall that now seems so empty. But four walls do not make a home and angels can not rest where demons lye. I exit for the final time, take a breath of fresh air, and I have won the game.
Why for so long did I allow him to do this? To have control over my happiness and peace? Because I strive to help people and try to save them when the truth is, sometimes you just have to save yourself.