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I loved all three of the prescribed reading pieces this week, (particularly Lorrie Moores ‘How To Be A Writer’) however I can't help but notice I don't have the same love for writing as they do. They make it sound as if writing is a second nature to them that comes simply, and this could not be more of the opposite for me. I have so many half ideas that have been permanently banished to the depths of my voice memos and notes app, and the times when I have a complete idea have such a difficult birth. One of the questions that was asked in class this week was “Why do I write?” and “What do you write about?” and I don't think there is a simple answer to either of those questions — at least not one that could be explained in a short ice breaker exercise. It reminds me of another question— a question that I hate: “What kind of stories do you want to tell?”. When I am asked that question I honestly just lie and say something simple as to hopefully move on from that question as quickly as possible. Say: “Science Fiction” or “Mystery” or something like that and then pray I'm not asked to elaborate. The answer I really want to give is “I don't know, let's see”. The one phrase that stood out to me from the readings surprisingly wasn't about writing at all and was instead a line from the poem written by George Orwell and featured in his text “Why I Write”. The line reads: “I am the worm who never turned”. The original expression is one I use a lot (only somewhat sarcastically) which is probably why it stayed in my head long after I had read it. The line has since repeated in my head like a bad omen — that perhaps it is my destiny. Perhaps I will never know exactly what stories I want to tell! Perhaps I will never write something I can feel proud of.

The stories I hope to tell are those which need to be told and those which are not told enough, because I know they are out there. I guess what I want is to be a worthy enough vessel to tell stories that allow something to come into the world through me, and hopefully I am in the right place to become that vessel.

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I'm looking forward to attempting this next assignment, partly because I don't really understand it entirely which is exciting! I'm a bit intimidated by the fact it the exegetical essay is described as an “academic” text, which makes it sound super serious. I had to rewatch some parts of Oliver's lecture a few times when he was explaining method and methodology. The reading was definitely beneficial in my understanding and I imagine I will be referring back to them when I write my assessment. I'm still thinking about what my individual creative process is and what my method might be. I think it's quite challenging to think of your artistic practice in such a proper way, especially at this level. I still think of myself as quite a novice, I don't really have one way of doing things - a specific system I use when creating. Hopefully, I will better understand my practice over the coming weeks.

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I find it really difficult to write dialogue. I hardly ever do it. It's hard for me to determine what sounds natural. I often try and think about what I would say if I was a certain character but I just doesn't sound right. In the lecture, we were asked to make a list of things we have read that have interesting uses of dialogue. The first thing I wrote down was the movie Superbad. In the movie, the word “fuck” is said one hundred and seventy-six times, which averages to about 1.6 uses of the word per minute. It is not a very sophisticated use of dialogue but it is so crucial to what makes the film successful and so uniquely hilarious. Obviously, the writing in Superbad is not really the type of writing I want to emulate. I wanted to challenge myself to write dialogue. Serious. Dialogue. Nothing good came out during the pomodoro in class and I was feeling quite unmotivated and self-critical. I went home and I wanted to call my father, but for some reason I didn't. Instead, I tried to write a conversation between the two of us. I had moments whilst writing when I thought “Oh but - wouldn't say that” or “This doesn't explain enough”, but then I kind of had the realisation that characters arent people. I didnt have the make sure the conversation was incredibly fleshed out and when I started thinking in that way everything became a lot simpler.

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week #12 26/05/23 (what is craft?) last entry!

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week #12 26/05/23 (what is craft?) last entry!

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I missed the last class this morning :( which makes me sad, but also relieved. I think I’ll prefer my classes in the following semester. A part of me hopes the main writing class will be a little bit less discussional, not that I dislike it - I just find it a bit hard to absorb anything. I think that maybe I learn better when I am being talked at rather than talked to. Since this is the last entry I feel like I should be truthful and say that— I don't want to be a writer. This isn't some big realisation or epiphany or any kind of thing like that. I had been aware of this when I wrote the first entry for my critical journal. I also knew it when I applied for this course. Im still trying to figure out what type of artist I want to be, and in my head - the thing at the core of all art is storytelling, so I figured I should probably get better at it- go to school for it.  I am not a confident writer. I think a lot of people in the class are, which is a little bit intimidating but probably good for me. Anyways, I am curious as to what semester two will bring…Thank you for a decent first semester :) Goodbye.

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Hello! This week our focus was plot, story and narrative! I find the whole monomyth thing a bit ridiculous. I think it was probably perfectly applicable to Joseph Campbell's purpose. I think the whole thing is super cool and all, with its goofy names and incredibly specific outlines, but other than the fact that it is interesting to unpack I don't really gain anything useful from it to apply to my own practice. I am however a fan of some other story circles, particularly Dan Harmon's story circle. In some ways it is just a more modernised version of Campbell's circle, outlining eight broad plot points rather than Campbell's highly specific seventeen. I love watching video essays dissecting story structure, and it kind of blows my mind how many layers a seemingly simple story can be. I don't think I've ever had an idea sooo amazing that it warranted an entire story of its own from beginning to end. I have so many half-ideas that I will only write a small piece of, or just straight up abandon it entirely when I'm unable to piece everything together.  Maybe I should give Joseph Campbell another chance ha.

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I think the focus of this week would have been a lot more helpful if it was done before the submission of our exegetical essay - since after this week I understood the concept of method WAY better than I did originally. Method is definitely more abstract of a concept than I initially thought, and looking back I would probably change a few things about what I said in my essay. I enjoyed the class discussion about everyone's unique drafting process. One of the other classes I've been taking this semester (Professional Writing) has a huuge focus on the drafting process and really emphasises the importance of a strong “zero-draft”. In the reading from this week “Shitty First Drafts” Anne Lamont describes the first draft as “the child’s draft” and expresses that almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. I agree.

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This week was our excursion! I didn't think we had excursions in uni but I was glad to be proven wrong :) I actually recently visited the acmi for their permanent exhibition and enjoyed it immensely, so I was looking forward to the goddess exhibition. We were tasked to take a couple of pictures of things in the exhibit that stood out to us so we could use them later for ekphrasis practice. I recognised the word ekphrasis from Oliver's exegetical sample that we had access to, so I had a little understanding as to what it entailed. I am enthusiastic about practicing ekphrasis - I enjoy poetry and am always happy to be given the chance to write something a bit more lyrical than usual. I definitely will continue to use ekphrasis in my own practice, I think it's a great way to get inspired which is something I struggle with often.

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initial ramblings from my exegetical essay that were removed

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initial ramblings from my exegetical essay that were removed

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My parents were very clear when I was growing up, that my room was completely my own. Everything outside of that space had rules but this one place was specifically just for me. It was my choice whether to take care of it or to destroy it. I like to think I took both approaches. It might be my favourite place on the planet - it's an extension of myself - part of me. Like if someone opened up my brain and put everything on individual custom made plywood shelves. Great things are made there, nothing leaves the workbench without an improvement of some kind. And when I packed my things, all that stuff… stayed there. Now I'm in a room the size of a shoebox with nothing. With a new set of rules. What IS MY METHOD method here, I dont have one yet, maybe that's why nothing i've been doing is any good.  No piece of writing that is any good is made on my computer (and yes that includes this very essay). I'm not very good at using them either, which is a very big weakness in our current age. There's always something wrong with mine, broken or what-not, it's my curse.

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one of my favourite quotes by Lex Luthor in the 1978 Superman movie; 

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one of my favourite quotes by Lex Luthor in the 1978 Superman movie; 

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“Some people can read War and Peace and come away thinking it's a simple adventure story. Others can read the ingredients on a chewing gum wrapper and unlock the secrets of the universe”

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I find it challenging to connect with first nations literature, which I feel terrible saying. I can appreciate and enjoy the works but I don't truly feel like I connect with the texts I have read recently. Sometimes I don’t think I connect with anything, no matter how much it is relevant to my own life. I think it’s a very important skill to have — when a writer can create a story about a specific place and culture and have an audience who are completely disconnected with it somehow find themselves within it. At least to me that’s what it means to connect with something — to see within it something of myself. I like that we're being given time to do some of these entries in class - I find it very natural to write in this way. The practice of journaling used to be quite challenging for me but now I think it might come easier to me than any other form of writing.