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The first stage of Erikson's theory of psychological development is trust versus mistrust. This stage begins at birth and lasts until the child is around 18 months old. According to Erikson, it is the most important period of your child's life, as it shapes their view of the world as well as their overall personality.

My mother had a caring and nurturing family. She also had plenty of food and warmth and the means to get what was needed, even if it meant her mother going to the grandparents to get that help. Her dad was in the Air Force though, and he did not meet my mother until she was almost a year old. She developed basic trust.

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Autonomy versus shame and doubt is the second stage of Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development. This stage occurs between the ages of 18 months to around age 2 or 3 years. According to Erikson, children at this stage are focused on developing a greater sense of self-control.

My mother developed autonomy. My mother is a very independent woman. She likes to figure things out on her own, and takes a lot of pride in how hard she works, and what she does on her own. She was a single mom for several years with both my brother and me, and she earned two Masters degrees and worked during all that time.

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Erikson’s third stage deals with initiative versus guilt. Stage 3 builds on the autonomy stage and is strengthened by  independence.  Like most stages, this is a balancing act of learning to initiate activities and play and trying out leadership. At the same time, children are learning to balance their independence by creating relationships with others.  Guilt is a necessary element in establishing empathy’s beginnings

My mother has shown guilt and initiative, but I think the shoes more initiative than guilt. Again, my mom went through some very difficult times at this point in her childhood. She has said that she did feel a lot of guilt at times, and she still struggles with guilt sometimes. However, she has a lot of initiative, and has had during her time as a student, and as an adult with working and parenting, as well as doing college.

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Industry versus inferiority is the fourth stage of  Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. The stage occurs during childhood between the ages of approximately six and eleven. An important event includes school and the basic virtue is competence.

Again, she has been a hard worker, and continued to be successful, although my mom does say she remembers having lots of feelings of inferiority during middle school. She didn’t feel as attractive, smart, popular, and other things than the other girls or boys then. Up until middle and high school though, she felt more secure with herself, although she struggled with self-doubt about her weight. She experienced industry.

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The fifth stage of the theory of development is identity versus role confusion. This stage occurs during adolescence between the ages of approximately 12 and 18. During this stage, adolescents explore their independence and develop a sense of self.

My mom experienced identity. Mom remembers having to practice a religion during this time that made her feel really not like herself, and even more confused about being a teenager. It was a very strict religion and girls were treated very differently than the boys. She did not like dressing the way that her mom’s religion demanded, and also did not like some of the other rules about what they could participate in and what they could not participate in doing. She could not go to dances, ballgames, or other many other activities that help teens develop socially and have a sense of identity. Her only identity was this religion, even though she didn’t agree with it, or like it. Once she had a choice of leaving home and that church, she tried to do “everything that she never was allowed to do” according to her. This put her on a path that was not healthy, and ended up hanging out with “the wrong crowd,” as they called it then. She ended up marrying a man during this phase, as she became pregnant. At that point is when my mom says that she really began to find a lot of her own identity. Being a mother made her joyful, proud and feel very strong.

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Intimacy versus isolation is the sixth stage of Erikson's theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during young adulthood between the ages of approximately 19 and 40. The major conflict at this stage of life centers on forming intimate, loving relationships with other people. Success at this stage leads to fulfilling relationships. Struggling at this stage, on the other hand, can result in feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Although my mom got a divorce from my half-brother’s dad, she still maintained friendships, a job, and her faith community. These all helped her to be social, and she still was a mother, of course, so all of these helped her have intimacy and closeness to others, even though she did not have a mate through half of her 20’s and half of her 30’s. She married my adoptive dad (after she was a single mother with me) when I was about 5, and she was about 35. They have been married for 17 years, and together for about 19 years. She has achieved intimacy in all of these ways and relationships.

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Generativity versus stagnation is the seventh stage of Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development. This stage takes place during middle adulthood, between the approximate ages of 40 and 65. It comes before the eighth and final stage of development. During this stage, middle-aged adults strive to create or nurture things that will outlast them, often by parenting children or fostering positive changes that benefit others.

My mother began thinking about the next generation fairly young since she had my half-brother at 22. Then, when she had me as a single divorced mother, she had even more responsibility. She says that although she was young and stressed, she would always try to think long-term when raising us, thinking how something would impact our future and future choices. She is also Catholic, and sent us to Catholic school, although this was a financial hardship at times. She has worked on donating time, talent, and treasure thinking of our community’s future too. She continues to work on her life, and has recently changed jobs to help herself be more satisfied and happy. She is working toward getting her mental health license to help others also. She plans on working until she is at least 70 doing this type of job. She has told us that she wants us to set up scholarships and donate to the arts and libraries, and such, instead of having an expensive funeral for her, and has set it up in her will this way. I think that my mother achieved this generativity quickly and well.

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Integrity versus despair is the eighth and final stage of Erikson’s stage theory of psychosocial development. This stage begins at approximately age 65 and ends at death. Psychologists, counselors, and nurses use the concepts of Erikson's stages when providing care for aging patients. This is when adults are reflecting back on their life.

I believe that my mom will achieve integrity when she gets to this point of her life. I honestly do not like to think about this, but know that it will happen. My mom has always said that it is “a blessing to get a year older,” as so many people that she has known and loved have not reached middle age, let along older age. Her dad died when he was 56, so she tries to keep that in mind-how she has almost outlived him already. She thinks that this is sad to think about, but true. I think that since she has this attitude, and plans to work for as long as possible, and do volunteering after retirement, she will reach integrity for her life well lived.