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Prout, Chessy and Jenn Abelson. I Have The Right To. MARGARET K. McELDERRY BOOKS. , 2018

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On March 11, 2011, Chessy experienced the biggest earthquake of her life in her sixth-grade math class. Everyone was safe but the earthquake impacted Tokyo terribly. The subway and train systems shut down, hotels were mobbed with businessmen and stranded tourists, and there were a ton of tsunamis and fires. Chessy's dad thought it would be a good idea for the family to fly to Florida for a few weeks while he stays and takes care of his business in Tokyo. Chessy had lived in Tokyo her whole life, but the family's temporary evacuation had turned into an indefinite stay in Florida.

Quote #1: "Just before the bell rang, I was knocked to my knees. Windows rattled back and forth and books tumbled off the shelves. This was no pretend earthquake anymore: it was the biggest one I'd ever felt." (pg. 12)

Source #1: An article about the Tokyo earthquake in 2011 that Chessy experienced:
https://asia.nikkei.com/Economy/Natural-disasters/Tokyo-risks-over-6-000-untreated-deaths-in-major-earthquake

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Tokyo risks over 6,000 ‘untreated deaths’ in major earthquake

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Medical resources would stretch past breaking point if large quake hit capital

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April 1st, 2011, was Chessy's first day at her new private school in Naples, Florida. The new school is very different from Japan and Chessy feels as though she doesn't fit in. Her first week is rough, she starts her period, spills soup on her cute new pants at lunch, starts therapy, and her sister Lucy leaves her to go to a new school. Chessy and Lucy have always been besties but slowly since Lucy left she started to drift away they would fight, but over time they would make up.

Quote #2: "Everyone had been together since kindergarten at the Community School of Naples (CSN), and they'd all heard about the Japanese kids who'd escaped the earthquake." (pg. 23)

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On March 9th, 2013, Chessy was accepted into her dream school SPS that her dad had also gone to. She was so excited to go to the same school as Lucy and grow their relationship. Once the semester started and Chessy was living on campus, she and her couple of freshmen friends went to a school dance. They had been warned that boys there will try to touch them but they just have to ignore it. Chessy also made the varsity volleyball team with Lucy.

Quote #3: "I enrolled myself in the school. The next four years of my life started now." (pg. 50)

Source #2: SPS website: https://www.sps.edu/

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St. Paul's School is a 9th through 12th grade coeducational boarding school. We have 540 students and 111 faculty, with students from 37 states and 28 countries, and 38% receive financial aid.

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Push Your Potential | Find a world of opportunity in one fully residential community.

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It was mid-November and Chessy had been feeling a lot of stress with exams, volleyball, medications, trauma, and social pressure. She was having trouble sleeping and was missing her family in Hong Kong. One night when all her friends went out, she stayed in her room on her bed and cried. She had so much pain and wanted to move the hurt somewhere else. So without thinking, she took a sip of nail polish remover and then got sent to the medical center on campus.

Quote #4: "People thought I was this popular, confident girl, but at times I felt so isolated from everybody at St. Paul's. No one knew what I'd been through." (pg. 62)

Source #3: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/emotional-problems/Pages/when-children-and-teens-self-harm.aspx

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​​​By: Alia McKean, DO, MPH & Maria H. Rahmandar, MD, FAAP

If the child you love is hurting so badly they're harming themselves, you probably feel the pain, too.

Parents and caregivers may feel confused, angry and helpless when they see signs that their child or teen is engaging in self-harm. They realize their child needs immediate help, but many have no idea where to begin.

When families bring up concerns about self-injury to their pediatrician, it provides the opportunity to talk openly about their child's situation and work out solutions together.

Here are insights that address commonly held fears and misconceptions, along with ways you can support your child.

What is self-harm?

Self-harm-also known as self-injury, self-mutilation or self-abuse-happens when people hurt themselves on purpose without intending to kill t​hemselves. Medical experts often refer to cutting and other forms of self-harm as non-suicidal self-injury, or NSSI.

Parents, share this video on the AAP YouTube channel with your teen: "What can I do if my friend is cutting themself?​"

If my ​child is self-harming, does it mean they are thinking about suicide?

Just because a child or adolescent starts engaging in self-harm, it does not automatically mean that they are having thoughts of suicide or hoping to die. However, newer studies show that when NSSI goes on for long periods, kids and teens face higher risks for suicidal thinking and actions. So parents and caregivers should take immediate steps when they believe their children are self-harming.

Are there myths about self-harm I should know about?

Here's a partial list of misconceptions that pediatricians hear:

Cutting is the only form of self-injury to worry about.

Self-harm is usually due to suicidal thoughts.

Kids or teens who self-injure are just seeking attention or being dramatic.

Girls are the only ones who self-harm.

If I ask my child about self-harm, they might be tempted to try it.

Kids and teens grow out of self-injuring behaviors so what is the point in treatment?

Cutting: signs to look out for

The most common form of NSSI is skin cutting, so you might see cuts or scars on your child's hands, wrists, stomach, legs or other areas of their body. Kids may inflict deep gashes or make dozens of smaller cuts in one spot. It is important to remember, though, that kids often hide their injuries by wearing lots of jewelry or long sleeves (even in hot weather), so the scars and cuts may not be visible or readily apparent.

Other subtle signs to look out for might include symptoms of depression (such as having overwhelming feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness, sleep disturbances, and low energy levels). This is because kids who have depression are at higher risk of engaging in NSSI.

Other forms of self-harm

Other forms of self-injury include head-banging, burns, hair-pulling, or excessive scratching of the skin to the point of drawing blood. Some kids punch themselves, insert objects into body openings, drink harmful substances such as bleach or detergent, or attempt to break their bones on purpose. In some cases, kids or teens may only engage in self-harm one time, but those who continue engaging in NSSI often hurt themselves in more than one way.

What causes kids to hurt themselves like this?

There is no single clear cause. However, young people who self-harm often feel overwhelming emotional pain. Others say they feel lonely, worthless or empty inside and will do anything to feel better, if only for a moment. Still others report feeling overstimulated, misunderstood or fearful of close relationships. Some feel overwhelmed by school and family responsibilities, or want to punish themselves for something bad they believe they've done.

Self-harm can also be a way for kids to take control of their bodies when they feel a lack of control over other things-or when other aspects of their lives seem unmanageable.

How can something so painful actually relieve pain?

We know that when human bodies are injured, certain chemicals are released by the brain to help us cope with the trauma. This rapid burst of endorphins and other natural painkillers may offer a momentary escape from the struggles a child can't seem to handle any other way.

Are there any pattens of self-harm related to gender?

Female youth who self-harm are more likely to cut, while male youth are likelier to hit themselves. However, kids of all genders engage in NSSI, including males and children who identify as non-binary or transgender.

Do kids who self-injure face higher risks for suicide?

Most self-harm comes from a momentary need to escape, not a wish to die. However, newer research suggests that adolescents who have trouble quitting NSSI face much higher rates of experiencing suicidal thoughts and dying by suicide than their peers who do not engage in self-harm. Native American and Native Alaskan youth are at particularly high risk.

How can I tell the difference between NSSI and suicidal behavior?

When in doubt, get help. Reach out to your child's pediatrician, therapist or the nearest emergency room. Medical and mental health professionals can get more information and provide guidance on next steps to keep your child safe and healthy.

What ages are at highest risk for engaging in self-harm?

Self-harm behaviors are most common among teenagers. Fortunately, most youth who do repeatedly self-harm stop after their teenage years.

Is NSSI a sign of other mental health problems?

Kids and teens who experience depression, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ( ADHD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, substance use disorders, personality disorders and other mental health conditions are at higher risk of engaging in self-harm. Looking for and treating both the mental health condition and the self-injury is important.

How can I help my child?

Have the conversation. Don't be afraid to ask kids if they're engaging in NSSI or know others who are. Take a non-judgmental position, listening more than you speak. It's OK to admit that the subject is tough for you, but express your love and concern: "This is hard for me to even think about because I care about you and want you to be healthy and safe, always."

Be prepared for strong reactions. Because people who practice NSSI often deny it (and try to hide the evidence), your child might be upset or refuse to talk. In a calmer moment, tell your child that you're worried they might be self-harming and plan to talk with their doctor about it. Encourage them to be there for this conversation, but even if they won't go with you, make the appointment.

Trust your pediatrician. Doctors who focus on child health often know about NSSI, from treating kids and families who've been in a similar position. You should not be shamed or blamed for your child's struggles. Allow private, one-on-one time for you child with their pediatrician so they can discuss concerns together. Your pediatrician can work with you and your child to create a care plan geared to your child's needs, which might include talk therapy, stress reduction techniques, medication or other steps that have been shown to help others.

Make your home environment safer. If your child is self-harming, you can help by removing hazards such as sharp knives, razors, poisons, weapons and more from your space. Though it can be difficult to remove all items all the time, it is especially important if your child lets you know they are having thoughts or urges to self-harm, or during difficult, stressful periods that could trigger these thoughts or urges. It is also important to keep firearms inaccessible and all medications locked away, especially if your child is having suicidal thoughts.

Talk with your pediatrician or mental health provider about establishing a "safety plan." This will include practical ways to reorganize your home and get emergency care in any crisis.

Change the way you think about social media. While digital channels may not be a direct cause of NSSI, excessive screen time can lead to poor sleep and exaggerated feelings of envy, isolation, fear and self-rejection. These issues may feed the powerful emotions that prompt some kids to self-injure, so it's worth the time to establish a healthy family media plan.

Your own digital habits matter, too. One study showed that adolescents living with depression reported that their parents spent up to 8 hours a day on social media. This doesn't mean that parents are to blame for making their children sick, but this pattern can block opportunities for conversation and emotional closeness, which generally reduce a child's risks for depression and anxiety.

Prioritize family mental health & relationships. If your family faces consistently high levels of stress, take time to consider how you can turn this around. Young people need to know they can ask for downtime without guilt, and that self-care is a priority above mountains of schoolwork and extracurricular activities.

Some children and their family members are at higher risk of mental health challenges due to trauma, violence, unstable family dynamics and poverty that are part of their everyday lives. A supportive parent-child relationship can serve as a powerful buffer. Talk with your pediatrician about other ways that may help reduce stress and build resiliency for kids exposed to adversity.

Share what you know. Your child's well-being depends on the support of family, teachers, coaches and many others, so don't keep their struggles a secret and share what your child allows or what you think is important. If you're wondering how to disclose your child's NSSI in a way that respects their privacy as much as possible, ask your pediatrician for guidance. You can help educate others by sharing this infographic or the article you're reading right now. The Mighty, an online network of peers living with chronic health issues, offers a helpful primer, too.

Remember

Self-harm doesn't mean your child or teen wants to die-and it does NOT make you a bad parent. As with any health issue, you can help your child recover by expressing hope, embracing treatment, and making sure they feel your loving, unconditional support.

More information

About Dr. McKean

Alia McKean, DO, MPH, is a resident physician at UCSF Fresno Pediatrics, where she serves as AAP Section on Pediatric Trainees Co-Delegate and is a member of the UCSF Fresno LIVE Committee. She received her Master of Public Health at the University of California, Davis. She is currently partnering with the Fresno County Public Library to improve access to literacy resources in her community, and is also working to develop a mental health literacy curriculum. Her professional interests include community pediatrics and adolescent mental health.

About Dr. Rahmandar

Maria Rahmandar, MD, FAAP is a board-certified pediatrician and adolescent medicine physician. She serves as the Medical Director for the Substance Use & Prevention Program at Lurie Children's Hospital of Chicago and is an Assistant Professor at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine. Within the American Academy of Pediatrics, Dr. Rahmandar sits on the Section on Adolescent Health Executive Committee, is a liaison to the Committee on Adolescence where she is a co-author on a revised Clinical Report on suicide, co-facilitates a learning collaborative on depression and anxiety, serves as an E-Cigarette Faculty Expert and is a subject matter expert for the AAP National Center of Excellence: Creating a Healthy Digital Ecosystem for Children and Youth. Her clinical, research and advocacy interests include adolescent substance use, mental health and birth control.

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self-harm; self-mutilation; self-abuse; depression; teen; adolescent; mental health; therapy

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If the child you love is hurting so badly they're harming themselves, you probably feel the pain, too. Just because a child or adolescent starts engaging in self-harm, it does not automatically mean that they are having thoughts of suicide or hoping to die.

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Chessy was getting a lot of senior salute requests around springtime, close to graduation when all the seniors try to score the young girls at the school. Senior salute is when a senior requests to score someone in a form below them; usually it only occurs once. It's generally just seniors taking advantage and controlling girls.

Quote #5: "And I knew Tucker and the other senior boys had all the power at the school and they could spread rumors and destroy my reputation in an instant." (pg. 80)

Source #4: Website explaining Owen Labrie's situation. https://empowerinnocent.wixsite.com/website/post/the-scandal-of-owen-labrie-and-the-metoo-movement

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The US Department of Education Office of Civil Rights is working hard to push through new regulations for Title IX. It's an appropriate time to reflect on the White House and New Hampshire's partnership and role in the kangaroo courts of the last decade; in particular the criminal trial of New Hampshire versus Owen Labrie, which set a chilling tone for the nation for how sexual assault in high schools should be prosecuted.

Early headlines surrounding the August 2015 high profile trial of Owen Labrie (St. Paul's School, Class of 2014) included such terminology as "Rape Culture on Display", "Elite Prep School", "Decades old Tradition of Sexual Conquest Game "Senior Salute". St Paul's School was portrayed as a den of misogyny, emblematic of the "patriarchy". Labrie himself was described as a Harry Potter look-a-like who used the "nerd defense". He was described as privileged and arrogant.

Facts matter. Statements by public officials and journalists matter because they become the public record. When those are knowingly false, lives are put in danger, laws are passed under false premise and the public is duped.

Owen Labrie's accuser's family (Alexander & Susan Prout) donated $100,000 to St Paul's School in the Spring of 2013 before Chessy Prout, started that fall. Her sister, Lucy Prout, was entering her senior year and applying to college. Lucy Prout had dated Owen Labrie. She also gave him a black eye before graduation while telling police who interviewed her (and documented) that Chessy had actually stated regarding Owen: " I have never said he raped me". Fifteen months later Chessy stated on the witness stand: " I was raped, I was violated in so many ways". The statement came after courtroom witnesses had seen victims' advocates tapping the shoulder of the prosecutor to say " She needs to cry more".

Labrie's divorced parents' combined annual income approximated $100,000. He attended St Paul's School on a full scholarship and had been offered the same by Harvard College. Few of these details ever made it into the news media. I later discovered why: St. Paul's School was targeted and Owen Labrie framed by the very same group of people who were behind the Rolling Stone's November 2014 "A Rape on Campus" story which resulted in the defamation suit: "Eramo v Rolling Stone". That group was The White House "Not Alone" task force formed on January 22, 2014.

The "personal representative" who appeared on TV during the trial for the "victim's family" - Laura L Dunn - was in fact an advisor/member of this White House "Not Alone" task force who was advising Concord Police for their investigation into St Paul's School and Owen Labrie. That investigation's budget was approved by the City of Concord Council whose chair of public safety is Amanda Grady Sexton, Director of Public Affairs for the New Hampshire Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence. Sexton was also on Senator Jeanne Shaheen's re-election campaign committee. Shaheen introduced the Victim's Bill of Rights in 2016. One of the ambulance-chasing attorneys Laura Dunn had introduced to the Prout family 5 months before trial, Steven J Kelly Esq, had lobbied the Senate Judicial Committee in May 2015 for the bill. He had argued that victims should be consulted throughout the process of a criminal investigation, prosecution and sentencing. In the abstract, I wouldn't necessarily disagree, but Kelly has described himself as a "one-stop-shop" for the "not the perfect victim" who trains witnesses, investigators and prosecutors. Receiving 35% of any settlement he negotiates for "Doe" suits against a school such as St Paul's, you can see his financial incentive for lobbying for the bill.

Amanda Grady Sexton's husband, Adam Sexton, a political director and reporter for WMUR, reported the arrest of Owen Labrie on July 16th 2014 just one day after Laura L Dunn and members of the White House Task Force had spoken at Dartmouth Sexual Assault Summit introduced by Congresswoman Ann Kuster.

It is my belief, eight years later, as Owen Labrie having just completed several years of probation, eight months incarceration including two months in solitary confinement, endured a failed retrial hearing and two appeals, that both students were used by the White House Task Force. A task force that was working in cahoots with the University of New Hampshire (promoting "Bringing in the Bystander" and "Know Your Power" training paid for via federal grants) and local New Hampshire public officials.

My growing suspicions were validated in November 2019 when I met S. Daniel Carter, another advisor to the White House "Not Alone" task force who described Laura Dunn as his "mentee". He had co-founded non-profit SurvJustice with Dunn in 2014 shortly before Labrie's arrest. He admitted to me that the use of publicity in the case was insensitive and problematic. More concerning was an assertion that his understanding of Dunn's attendance at the trial was tied to a White House interest in St Paul's School as opposed to Labrie himself.

SurvJustice, according to its IRS Form 990's, was directly tied to the White House "Not Alone" directive and listed as a resource on its site. Dunn had also made a public statement in September 2014 when Emma Watson became the ambassador for UN Women and the campaign. An excerpt from Rewire News group's "Power" section by Emily Crocket reads:

Dunn said that another big part of this shift, especially on the issue of campus sexual assault in the last few years, is due less to celebrities speaking out than to survivors like herself telling their stories to the media, sometimes coming out with their full names and faces. They were no longer anonymous Jane Does but real women demanding real justice, which made some people start to sympathize with them and share their outrage (see: https://rewirenewsgroup.com/2014/09/24/us-emma-watson-white-house-efforts-change-culture-womens-rights/).

Amanda Grady Sexton of the NHCADSV, according to the Concord Monitor, attended the Labrie trial to " keep tabs on the media". A motion by the Prouts' representatives (which included Laura Dunn and Steven J Kelly) managed to restrict media access to those journalist who were taking the bait from NHCADSV, police, prosecutors, Dunn and Kelly. Sexton described it as " an opportunity" (see: https://www.concordmonitor.com/Archive/2015/08/LabrieMedia-CM-082315).

When reports of Labrie's appeal regarding the computer felony conviction surfaced (the computer felony conviction requires lifetime tier 2 sex offender registration), Amanda Grady Sexton penned an op-ed in the Concord Monitor in which she mentioned both her official titles for the NHCADSV and City of Concord Council but failed to report her organization's financial interest in seeking sex offender registration for Labrie. Since 2014, New Hampshire has received close to $1 million under the Adam Walsh Act for Sex Offender Registration. On the same day that the White House's "Not Alone" paper was published, April 29, 2014, the Department of Justice announced a new grant incentive under the Adam Walsh Act for "Campus Sex Offenses". The NHCADSV is in charge of the State of New Hampshire's sex offender registration management.

The "compliance" officer for the Diocese was Monsignor Edward Arsenault. The police officer involved in the Diocese of Manchester investigation which resulted in the arrest and prosecution of Father Gordon MacRae, was James F. McLaughlin who was given a lifetime achievement award in 2016. At the same ceremony, Police Detective Julie Curtin, the officer involved in the St. Paul's and Labrie investigations, received an award for her work and "justice for the victim".

Edward Arsenault pled guilty to defrauding the Diocese between the years of 1999 and 2009. He shook hands with Assistant Attorney General Jane Young (now US Attorney for New Hampshire) before going to Concord Men's Prison where he was quickly transferred to Keene County Jail in 2014. He was later released on home confinement and is now free working for non-profit ReServe under the name Edward Bolognini. His restitution - amounting to almost $300,000 - was miraculously paid off while he was incarcerated.

James F McLaughlin's name appeared on a list of police officers with credibility issues published earlier this year. He has been known to the New Hampshire Courts for dishonesty since 1985 - a full 9 years before Father Gordon MacRae was targeted, prosecuted and convicted for crimes for which many around the world believe he was framed. MacRae is in his 28th year in Concord men's prison. He was denied the right to a retrial in 2014 by Judge Larry Smukler who presided over the Labrie trial in 2015. Smukler similarly denied Labrie a retrial in 2017 and claimed "justice for the victim" in December 2018 as he ordered Labrie back to Merrimack County jail, after his appeals, to complete his one year sentence for misdemeanor sexual assault convictions.

Assistant Attorney General Geoffrey Ward deleted the names of 28 corrupt police officers shortly before a New Hampshire bill went into effect this year which would have made them public. Detective Julie Curtin no longer works for the City of Concord. She is employed by Epping Police Department. Numerous requests for an investigation into her tainted investigations, witness and evidence tampering have gone unanswered.

Lyn Rosenthal of the Department of Justice Office of Violence Against Women said upon leaving office in 2015 that the reason the Obama administration focused on campuses was because if they got it right there they would influence generations to come. In 2016, she became president of SurvJustice which lost a lawsuit to Education Secretary Betsy DeVos over due process in Title IX campus sex discrimination. On the board of SurvJustice with Laura Dunn and S. Daniel Carter was Meg Garvin of the NCVLI which also rewarded Detective Julie Curtin for her work in the St. Paul's and Labrie investigation.

Lyn Schollett, Executive Director of the NHCADSV is on the board of directors for Soteria Solutions Inc which markets " Bringing in the Bystander" and " Know Your Power" training to schools, colleges and universities around the world. It was recognized by the White House for entrepreneurship using federal grants.

Federal grants to New Hampshire for sexual assault and related research have increased exponentially since 2014, the year that St Paul's School was targeted and Owen Labrie framed.

Claire Best heads Claire Best & Associates, an international talent agency representing some of the most respected names in the entertainment industry for film, television, and commercials that was established in 2010. She had 16 years of experience in the agency business as an owner, C.E.O. and C.O.O. before Claire Best & Associates. Prior to becoming an agent in 2002, Claire was a production executive at New Line Cinema and Fine Line Features where she oversaw the production of many well-known domestic and international feature films from 1996-2001. Claire has also produced and executive produced a number of award winning and critically acclaimed features, shorts, and documentaries. She is a voting member of B.A.F.T.A. and the Television Academy (see: clairebest.net).

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The Scandal of Owen Labrie and the #MeToo Movement

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Owen Labrie The US Department of Education Office of Civil Rights is working hard to push through new regulations for Title IX. It's an appropriate time to reflect on the White House and New Hampshire's partnership and role in the kangaroo courts of the last decade; in particular the criminal trial of New Hampshire versus Owen Labrie, which set a chilling tone for the nation for how sexual assault in high schools should be prosecuted.

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Chessy felt pressured to accept this boy named Owen, who's a senior, invitation for a senior salute. Owen leads Chessy to a secret locked room in one of the towers. She thought he was just taking her to the roof to admire the view of the campus but he then began to take control of her body. Even though she repeatedly told him no. What Owen Labrie did to Chessy Prout was not okay and has traumatized Chessy for the rest of her life.

Quote #6: "I couldn't believe this was happening to me. This person, who was not listening to me, was violating me in the most intimate place, and I was lifeless." (pg. 95)

Source #5: Chessy Prout's allegations. (News Article) https://www.cnn.com/2015/08/18/us/new-hampshire-prep-scandal/index.html

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Story highlights

Graduates of the prestigious New Hampshire prep school have included six congressmen, more than a dozen American ambassadors and U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry.

But a rape trial underway this week has brought unwanted attention to the elite St. Paul's School in Concord, where a campus tradition known as the "Senior Salute" has come under fire for allegedly encouraging seniors to have sexual encounters with as many younger female students as possible.

Owen Labrie, 19, who has pleaded not guilty, is being tried on charges that include the rape of a 15-year-old student on the sprawling campus just days before his graduation last year.

Labrie used the Internet and Facebook to entice and lure his victim into a sexual encounter, Deputy Merrimack County Attorney Catherine Ruffle said during her opening statement Tuesday. He allegedly told friends he had sex with with the girl.

The victim suffered injuries "consistent with a sexual assault," Ruffle said. DNA evidence matched the defendant, she said.

"Did you use a condom?" the alleged victim asked Labrie in a message, according to Ruffle.

"Are you on the pill? I think you're OK. I put it on halfway through," the defendant allegedly wrote back.

Defense attorney J.W. Carney said the "Senior Salute" is a decades-old school tradition that could involve "kissing or hugging." Some salutes are not sexual in nature.

"If they kiss a freshman, sophomore, or junior, it could be a 'Senior Salute,'" he said. "It was a competition. How many girls can I have kiss me or be with me?"

Carney said being invited to participate was a "source of pride" for the girls.

Carney said his client told police he kissed and hugged the victim but did not have sexual intercourse with her. He read messages that he said proved the girl willingly participated in the encounter in a machine room on campus.

"There's a door here that's been locked since before we were born," Labrie wrote in one message. "If you want the definition of bittersweet, think of me spending three years trying to open it, but only having three days."

She declined at first but then changed her mind.

"Only if it is our little secret," she wrote.

"Not a soul needs to know," Labrie replied.

In another message, he wrote: "You're a gem. Let me know if there is anything I can do."

"You're not too bad yourself. I will. I also lost my earring up there. haha," she responded.

The alleged victim took the stand Tuesday; her testimony resumes Wednesday.

In a statement, St. Paul's Rector Michael Hirschfeld said, "We do not tolerate conduct that is at odds with our commitment to a safe and welcoming environment for everyone in the St. Paul's School community. Current allegations about our culture are not emblematic of our school or our values, our rules, or the people who represent our student body, alumni, faculty and staff."

The residential Episcopal high school, where tuition is $52,000 a year, was founded in 1856.

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Rape trial draws attention to St. Paul's prep school 'Senior Salute' tradition | CNN

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Graduates of the prestigious New Hampshire prep school have included six congressmen, more than a dozen American ambassadors and U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry. But a rape trial underway this week has brought unwanted attention to the elite St.

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Chessy finally had the courage to talk to the police about what had happened to her.  A woman named Detective Julie Curtin talked to Chessy about the details of that night. Chessy finally recognized and registered that she had been raped. After the conversation with detectives from the police Chessy needed to get her body examined for evidence. It was really scary to have blood, urine, cells, tampons, and even her privates checked.

Quote #7: "Detective Curtin perched on the edge of her seat and folded her hands in her lap. She looked me in the eyes and held my gaze. 'The number one rule is that everything we talk about is the truth.'" (pg. 127)

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Chessy went on a youth missionary trip to an orphanage in the Bahamas. It was called the Old Bight Mission Home and Orphanage, on Cat Island. Chessy loved the kids there and grew a really sweet relationship with one seven-year-old boy, Mark. Chessy loved the escape from the trauma that she had waiting for her back home.

Quote #8: "Cat Island provided a temporary escape, a refuge from the trauma that waited for me back home." (pg. 135)

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Chessy decided that she wanted to be strong and return to school. When she first got there her old friends would ignore her. It really hurt her feelings and she almost wanted to give up and go back home. One day, Ivy, her old best friend, met with her to have a talk to explain herself. She started to cry hysterically and explain how it's been really hard for her and she didn't know how to react to Chessy returning. Chessy reacted kindly but inside she knew that Ivy was a truly selfish person for acting this way.

Quote #9: "Ivy: Hey I know this is gonna sound really scary but can we please talk tonight because I know it's been weird and I've been weird and it may have come across badly and I know you're going through hell right now and I should be there for you and I'm sorry." (text from Ivy, pg. 154)

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Chessy was so traumatized by what had happened. It affected her life in so many different ways. She felt like her life had been destroyed by one boy. So every night she would have terrible flashbacks of what he did. No matter how many positive thoughts she thought about before her head hit the pillow, the nightmares come back.

Quote #10: "But as soon as my head hit the pillow, the castle walls came tumbling down, revealing the mechanical room, my underwear, his face. Sometimes I kicked and screamed. Other times I froze. Most nights I woke up in a sweat." (pg. 156)

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One day in the chapel, during the announcements, two insensitive boys made a mean joke about Chessy. It hurt her feelings so bad that she had to run out of the building. She had a terrible panic attack. That's when she decided that she was done. She couldn't stay there any more. It wasn't safe for her to push through every day. So she told the advisors, said her goodbyes, and left.

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Chessy was back in Naples, Florida living with her family. It was going great until they heard about a letter being sent around St. Paul's by Owen. It was asking about 100,000 dollars to go towards a top-level lawyer. Students and especially the staff were actually donating. Chessy's family was furious.

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There were eight days of court. On the first day, Chessy's lawyer, Catherine, questioned her about the night of the assault. In challenging detail. On the second and third days, Owen's lawyer, Carney, questioned Chessy. Carney was a big bully and made Chessy feel small and stupid. Chessy's time on the witness stand ended, so then it was Owen's turn.

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Many of Owen's friends had textual evidence of conversations between them before and after that night. There were a lot of juicy details and it made Chessy pissed. She was pissed at how these boys had been talking and planning for months on how they would "score" or "slay" her. The judge seemed biased toward Carney for some reason. Owen's lies were rolling off his tongue and it literally made Chessy vomit. When she returned to the courtroom, she made eye contact with Owen but he wouldn't even look at her.

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Owen's lawyer, Carney, would twist Chessy's words. He would say things like how she was trying to get attention and took the easy way out. One of the men helping Chessy was sitting next to her during the case and saying how unprofessional Carney was being. He decided to confront him in the parking lot after the trial was over. They had a huge, heated argument but Chessy was glad he was standing up for her.

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The trial was over and it was now time to wait. Everyone is trying to be patient. Then finally, after eight hours over two days, the jury had a verdict. Owen Labrie was guilty! The jury believed Chessy but didn't convict Owen of raping her. It was a split verdict.

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Days after the verdict, anonymous hate sites were popping up all over the Internet. Online trolls were calling Chessy "an attention whore at St. Paul's School who tried to slime an innocent bro with a fake-rape charge." Detectives tried everything they could to take the websites down, but as soon as one site was removed, another popped up, taunting Chessy. One day, when Chessy's dad was at the airport he met a woman that could help. She fought hard for Chessy and the majority of the sites eventually vanished.

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The sentencing was a decision to say officially what the punishment would be. Thankfully, the judge knew that Owen was a lying rapist. But unfortunately, he could not punish Owen for the more serious crimes. He sentenced Owen to a year in jail and several years of probation. Owen would have to register as a sex offender, but he'd get to remain free on bail while his lawyers appealed the verdict.

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Chessy's Uncle Ron had died. Uncle Ron was Chessy's dad's brother. Five days later her grandma died. It was so very sad. Chessy's mom was devastated. At the funeral, Chessy sang one of her grandma's favorite songs.

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Chessy is a survivor. At 19, she is using her voice and her experiences to advocate for others who have suffered sexual assault and abuse. She has written a memoir. She has spoken to communities and students about sexual consent and healthy relationships. Chessy is also a student at Barnard College and continues to use her voice to advocate and let other survivors know they are not alone.