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Meeting you was surely an unexpected moment, starting off as strangers and friends who doesn't even have that spark and the "love at first sight" experience.

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But surely, the universe has other plans.. I remember being a mess, a person who is not in the right state of mind.

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Things get rough, but you were always the first to say that I can do this and you will protect me, protect me from those who hurt me.

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If some might see this, they would call it so selfish of me to be hurt when I also hurt them. They didn't know it was a 2-way street and even if I don't show it, I can only radiate what they give. And you were my knight and shining armor.

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They would see me as mean, toxic, and a selfish human being for considering my feelings and first and not theirs. I called myself toxic too because I know that was not a good part of me.

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But you know how vulnerable I get because I spent our friendship of being so weak and fragile as I come crying into your arms whenever something upsets me. And that was the first reason why it was selfish of me to have a crush on you when I don't even deserve it.

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Is it my crush on you that makes me think you know how to handle me so well, or was it because you felt obligated to comfort me as your friend and as someone younger?

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That thought was all over my mind just when we started getting closer as friends, but neglecting them and still asking for your hugs and cuddles because it was everything i need, you were that someone i need and you still are.

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I already saw it coming that you'd reject me after I confess to you. It was painful, yet I understood and was patient that you'd rather keep the friendship than date and turn to strangers.

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It wasn't something I'd rather move on and and forget. I didn't stop admiring you and didn't ask for more. I want to stay and become friends longer like we are, until you assured me that I just gonna have to wait until you're ready.

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Hard to imagine my days without your presence.

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And yet we tried. And we bloomed. We became closer than friends but less than lovers, and that is okay because it is just the beginning and beginnings are always a struggle at first, but we were patient.

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we took our time, love doesn't bloom when it just began

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We worked it out together, a struggle at first but it was a beautiful start. we started strong despite the scare of what's ahead of us.