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Reading the poems makes me desperately cry. Adults who were in charge of taking care of children, punished them by choking just because they spoke Cree, their native language. It is so unfair, I wish I could help these children, but I can’t, unfortunately. Everybody knew about mistreatment in these, but children were sent back there anyway. Physical punishment, malnutrition, lack of sleep are real tortures that Nazis used to practice. I cannot answer the question in my head: “For what reason?” I cannot even believe that people can be so violent to children who are not able to fight back. What happened to innocent kids is unforgivable. Rosanna Deerchild is right. In her poem she tries not to be rude to a guy who said “he was sorry” about life in the residential schools. She just wants us to understand that only those who were there, lived in such brutal conditions know the truth. Kids from residential schools are already adults, but still they live with these mental and physical injuries that they got there.

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After reading these two poems, I was numb and I thought if it feels so painful after reading these poems, then what would those little children have felt and what would the writer have felt while writing those poems. those feelings can not be even expressed in words. Both the poems says that, no one is interested in knowing the history, the pain people hide inside them; nobody wants to know and share that pain. Even the title of the poem by Rosanna Deerchild says it all. I can't even imagine all that happenings with so young children even six months old. How could they even bear all this? It just take my soul imagining all that, so does that sorry makes everything alright for what happened in the past, does their pain went away with that sorry, does their past memories, their fear and all the things just go away with one sorry?

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Mama’s testament: truth and reconciliation (Rosanna Deerchild). As I read through the poems of the survivors, listened to them share their trauma, read through the history, I choked up. Only one question in my head - Why? What did they do to deserve this? Abused, exploited, almost as if their life wasn't human and held no value. Murdered, at the hands of the state. This was Genocide. Systematically planned by the governments, the oppressors. I could sense the anger and hurt in Rosanna Deerchild's voice as I read through her poem, but she also expressed resentment - why do people all of a sudden care now when they didn't years ago? To say gutwrenching and horrifying would not do justice to the amount of destructiveness these schools have done for generations to come. "You can't say sorry" - these words struck me the most. Almost as if no level of apology can reverse what happened. What right do we even have to say sorry? What right do we even have to ask them to reopen their wounds and share their trauma? So we can attempt to understand, without even understanding how triggering it could be for them?

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Resentment. Resentment is what I felt after reading the two poems. After reading "Mama's Testament", I realized that the apologies and statements made are empty at a whole. To me it seemed more as burying a hole to forget, rather than asking for forgiveness. Mama's Testament is right, they don't know what truly happened. They don't know about the suffering, rage, and pain. They don't know because it was kept within themselves. Yet, with knowing that they don't know, they had the face to say as if they knew. A simple sorry with a little bit of cash. Seems a bit ignorant don't it?

"But no one is looking". This quote from Belcourt's poem struck me the most. Everything was out in the open, yet no one dared to pry in. Bystander effect. Everyone knew it was wrong but no one stepped in. It took all the way up to the 21st century for an apology to be made. Our biggest flaw is our tendency to purposely ignore the truth when it bothers us even for a bit. One slight discomfort from a subject and we switch topics.

This week's material is quite heavy and difficult to digest, yet I really enjoyed tackling the contents. I was able to gain a deeper understanding to what it feels to be an Indigenous person in this country.

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NO APOLOGY OR ACTION CAN LEVEL THE DAMAGE DONE

Deer child's poetry presents a horrible vision in such a way that those who are familiar with the events of residential schools can piece altogether visions of kids being killed merely for being. In today's world, abuse which can be classified as genocide. The agony that the Indigenous peoples are still experiencing on a mental, physical, and emotional level because of having to repeat their experiences in order to share and find the truth speaks to both resiliency and the human condition's strength. Nobody should have to go through all what they did; they really shouldn't have to endure as they did.

Because of the specific descriptors used in Deer child's poetry, I reacted to "Mama's Testament: Truth and Reconciliation" with more emotional comprehension than Belcourt's "Ode to Norther Alberta." As I remember information of the poem, putting myself in her shoes and feeling helpless, forlorn, useless, confused, and unwanted, I felt an overwhelming sense of pain and pity. All of these emotions make me cry just thinking about them.

The names of the poems, though not clear, include feelings of bitterness in a sardonic tone referring towards how long it took people to discover the truth. The poem's voice/theme might alternatively be understood as both writers' feelings that no one cares about their voices or will take the necessary steps to reconcile them. The fact that the two poems are so similar shows that 'it' always gets you and brings you back. This view seems to carry across many accounts, such as having to return to residential schools because they did not feel that belong in their own homes, or the anguish felt following their experience and wanting to erase what they had through...

The module this week was really challenging for me to complete. I was tempted to turn away, to avoid having to deal with the pain from their experience, but I don't know how to reconcile this period, which I now equate with racial genocide, and I don't know where to begin.

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After reading the poems “Ode to Northern Alberta” and “Mama’s Testament: Truth and Reconciliation" I cannot even imagine the pains and the difficulties those children have to face after separating from their families. They are deprived to receive the love of their dear ones. It is clear from both the poems that the children had received inhumane treatment in those government-funded residential schools. The titles of both poems are suitable and they give an idea of what the poems are about. Because of residential schools, the young children had faced trauma. Both the poems are quite similar as they describe the atrocities done by colonizers on Indigenous people.

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| No apology or actions can level the damage done.

Deerchild’s poem truly paints a gruesome image in a way where those who know about the happenings of residential schools would piece together images of children being abused for simply existing. Abuse that can be categorized as genocide in the present day. The pain the Indigenous have to endure even now, on a mental, physical and emotional level having to relive their experiences to share and uncovered the truth, speaks to their resiliency and the strength of the human condition. No one should have to go through what they went through, they should not have had to experience what they suffered.

I reacted to Rosanna Deerchild’s “Mama’s Testament: Truth and Reconciliation” with more emotional understanding than Belcourt's “Ode to Norther Alberta” mainly due to the detailed descriptors used in Deerchilds poem. A sense of overwhelming sadness and empathy grew as I read each page of the poem, placing myself in her situation, feeling helpless, hopeless, worthless, confused, unloved.. all feelings that would bring me to tears at the thought.

Though not obvious, the titles of the poems hold feelings of resentment in a sort of sarcastic tone referring to how long it has taken people to realize the truth. The voice/theme of the poem can also be interpreted as both writers feeling that people don’t truly care about their voices nor will take the proper actions to reconcile. I noticed the similarity between the two poems suggests that ‘it’ always finds you and drags you back. A phrase possibly describing many narratives, for example having to return to the residential schools as they did not feel they belonged in their own home or the pain felt after their experience and trying to forget what they went through.. this perspective seems to also carry through the stories of survivors from this weeks module, where the Indigenous try their best to move on or forget, only to be haunted by the childhood trauma experienced with adult actions that don’t serve to nurture their healing ie. substance abuse, mental health conditions.

This week's module was truly difficult for me to go through. I had the temptation to look away, to not have to carry the pain of their experience and I don’t know the answer nor where to start to reconcile this period I now associate as racial genocide. There are truly no apologies or actions that can level the agony Indigenous peoples have suffered.

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This week module really make me emotional especially after reading the two poems. I can feel deeply the pain the unfairness throughout history related to residential school. Those schools in the past was absolutely like hell to Indigenous People.

Both of the poem have the same idea and feeling about what were the Indigenous Children have gone through while they were studying in residential schools. The two poems are describing the life and the mindset of those children who had studied in those residential school. They were being tortured both physically and mentally for a long time.

The only different is one is come from first person point of view, in the "Ode to Northern Alberta", the auther use "I" to described one of the victim point of view and that person feeling throughout the poem. On the other hand, The "Mama's statement" poem is using "he,you" to show third person point of view to give us a more wide picture of what actually every Indigenous children had gone through. I could feel they had to gone through a lot of terrible circumstances.

From my opinion, I think the title for both of the poem should be "The dark truth about residential school"

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First impression of poems and second thought after reading them

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First impression of poems and second thought after reading them

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After reading the two poems, I could know and feel more deeply about their pain. It came closer to me that the despair they felt. Both poems vividly describe their pain and express that they had difficulty revealing the truth. The way they dissolve their anger into these poems makes the reader think deeper about its meaning. When I first saw the title of the poem, "Ode to Northern Alberta", I thought about what happened in Northern Alberta and focused on the word "Northern Alberta". The title of the poem "Ode to Northern Alberta" is an expression that implies their terrible memories from "Northern Alberta." On the other hand, when I saw the title "Mama's Testament: Truth and Reconciliation," I felt something positive. But on the contrary, after I read this poem, I found it wrong. I felt that the real truth and the word "reconciliation" are far from each other. There is a big difference between the truth that the people say it's truth and the real truth that the writer experienced. The word reconciliation is also an expression far from the writer's experience. In this way, after reading this poem, I could see that what the writers wanted to express was more emphasized by looking at the titles once again after reading the poems.

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I really like this week’s readings because I really prefer reflecting upon these genres of books and poems. When I first read “Ode to Northern Alberta”, I felt a really sentimental feeling from the poem. His mooshum or his grandfather ran away from the residential school, but he kept coming back even if he knows there is nothing good back there. I think he keeps coming back for the nostalgic reasonings or sentimental reaction. The residential school was probably the only thing he knew of when he was growing up because Indigienous children were usually taken away from their family at a very young age. The “Mama Testament” poem made me feel very disgusted and mad towards what they did to her and the other children at the Residential schools. I am very disappointed in what the Church did to them, they should never try to convert and take away their culture. For me, the similarities is that both are victims of Residential schooling and that they didn’t have anyone during those tough times. The title of the poems are very significant as they tell a thousand narratives. The title is very direct and is straight to the point to what we will expect from the poems.

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After reading both poems, you get a feeling of endless weary pain from the author.  You get a deep sense of tired anger more so from the author Rosanna Deerchild. Several passages from there show her true feelings on the matter, how after only now that she is 70 years old only now does the government truly even know the extent of what happened in them. It truly does describe her resentment when she starts talking about how it was a long time ago who is 50 years ago, how she was treated by our government since then “dear claimant no records no proof sorry”. To me, the first poem’s title truly gives away some of its intent Mama’s testament: truth and reconciliation he tries to show the brutal truth as to what happened while also explaining that this is not something that they kept in themselves, these feelings were passed on to the next generation.
This leads into the next home which expresses a much similar feeling of appointment however one of the more tenuous points that they bring up which is more prominent in the poem Ode to Northern Alberta is this feeling of the pain being inescapable almost like it repeats “he kept coming back despite knowing heaven is nowhere near here” shares a very similar feeling to “it always finds you though drags you back” that's what I feel that these poems have in common they both are trying to express the same resentment and anger and pain that the residential school system showed them.
Personally, I feel a mixture of grief and anger, part of me wants to be angry at the system that let this happen however I know for a fact that I don't know how to start to reconcile something this bad.

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This weeks reading shows the pain and suffering of the indigenous people. the poems "Ode to Northern Alberta" by Billy-Ray Belcourt and "Mama's Testament: Truth and Reconciliation" by Rosanna Deerchild clearly shows that. As I am reading the poems I can feel the anger and disgust that the first nations hold toward the colonist. These poems gives a message to the new generations to speak up and fight for their rights. The first people shows the sufferings of the child who died at a residential school because of not being treated as part of the community. the second poem is the experience of the author, who has survived the hell.

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For both poem in my opinion is the underlying environment of Indigenous children in the hands of the colonizer. On a mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional level, just reading it made me comprehend the Indigenous people's grief and suffering. I could feel the scars on their hearts with every phrase of the poetry. Sharing this type of poetry must be exceedingly tough for them to write since it allows them to describe every word and phrase of their people's historical tragedies, and it is not easy for them because the difficulty has scarred them like a death, preventing them from living their lives as they should. I believe the colonizer is attempting to influence children by stating that staying at school is safe, despite the fact that cruelty is occurring inside. The manipulation of what is the reality of the environment hit me the most, in terms of both poetry and context. It's all about altering the environment for Indigenous children's safety, but it's also about diminishing Indigenous culture and traditions to a dreadful experience for them to stay with the colonizer. "Ode to Northern Alberta" and "Mama's Testament," in my opinion, both have the legitimacy of what happened to their ancestors and the truthfulness of each word in the title. It indicates that simply reading the poem reveals that it is more than a poem; it contains the historical reality. The title provides you a glimpse about what you'll read and how real poetry will triumph over any misinformation about Indigenous peoples that has been propagated.

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Arvy Penaverde                                                      

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Arvy Penaverde                                                      

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Scars and Pain of the past

As I read the two poems for this week module about the Residential school, I feel the pain, suffering and anger of the First people to the colonizers. The main message of this poems is for the new generations to speak up what is happening, don't be a slave, talk and speak about what is happening in your surroundings. The line " fifty years since those days fifty years I said nothing" means 50 years of suffering in hands of the colonizers, She said nothing  about her feeling, about her suffering in the residential school. Both poems are saying during their suffering no one heard them, no one helped them and no one cared for them, they are not treated as part of the community. The title of the two poems have a message for all the people that we should express our feelings, we should not make ourselves a slave of the past, speak and let the people know about it so they will be more aware of what is happening nowadays. Another thing the poem of  Rosanna Deerchild talks about the suffering of the kids back in the days in the Residential schools.

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Title-Educational Prison
In general, these two poems describe the sorrow and trauma caused by residential schools. The names of two poems have sent the message that they need to speak up: Ode to Northern Alverta for representing the people involved, and Mama's Testimony for sharing the story in order to make a commitment and appeal for truth and peace. After reading and knowing more about the history of residential schools, it's difficult not to feel anguish, despair, wrath, and helplessness for what these two writers went through. What fascinates me the most is how they showed their wounds, shifting between seeing traces left in their lines by those who were part in the surgery. What they're trying to say, I suppose, is that merely reconciling isn't enough to heal the wounds and traumas that have occurred; we must also remember. Furthermore, the poet's agony is expressed not only for themselves, but also for their contemporaries, young people who have spent their entire lives in that hell on earth.

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Genocide Cloaked in Education

This week’s module is I think the darkest and gloomiest part of Canadian history. The two poems “Ode to Northern Alberta” by Billy-Ray Belcourt and “Mama’s Testament: Truth and Reconciliation” by Rosanna Deerchild both speak about the sufferings and pains inflicted by the colonizers on the First People. As I am reading both poems, all I can feel is anger and disgust towards the selfishness of the colonizers and compassion for the Indigenous People for all they have endured especially the children in the Residential Schools. Both poems depict the agony of children when they were taken away from their families and were stripped of their culture, values, beliefs, and even of their own identity. What’s more horrifying is that the impact of those dreadful experiences does not only haunt the survivors up to this day but also of their lineage.

What struck me the most are these lines: “dear claimant no records no proof sorry” of Rosanna Deerchild and “history lays itself bare at the side of the road but no one is looking.” of Billy-Ray Belcourt. It only intensifies that amidst their clamor and cries, no one heard them, no one cared for them, and they were not treated as part of the society. It was just inhumanly possible that church leaders and religious ministries can do those physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual abuses to innocent children which is very ironic to their teachings.

Just like a little child, begging for the love of a family, of freedom, and acceptance of who they are, I think the titles of the poems are shouting out loud for the Indigenous People to be heard and their stories and the truth to be known. The past can no longer be corrected but validation and reconciliation are their battle cry.

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Jochebed Nyarko

The term residential schools now connotes a torture chamber for me. As I read the two poems, I felt sad, then, angry, then sad again! My heart goes out to all seven generations of the residential schoolchildren; survivors or not. I can never feel what they felt but I can do my best to understand and respect their feelings.

One thing that resonated with both poems were the words the poets used to show the audience their pain. These words can evoke sadness and sympathy in any audience. Just like it did for me.
Another similarity is the poets' view of   themselves. The residential schools were so destructive that the effects went as far as to destroy the children's humanity. Here, Deerchild describes herself as an empty skin while Belcourt sees himself as pieced together.  Human beings are filled with the wonders of life like memories, feelings, dreams and hopes. To be striped of these pleasures is inhumane.

Although the poems talk about the cruelty of residential schools, their view of the current society is different. Deerchild sees society as nosy  whereas Belcourt believes society does not want to know about the true history.

I believe the titles of these two poems did their job of helping me understand the rest of the poem. Just as a testament shows evidence to a claim, "Mama's Testament: truth and reconciliation" brings to light some of the evils of the residential schools. As a lyrical poem one would think that an ode would rhyme; however, an ode is  written with an irregular metre and the " Ode to Northern Alberta" has no rhyme.

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After reading both poem I feel so sad and I'm so angry about what happened to Indigenous Peoples. I thought that only hell on the earth was made during World Wars but I was so wrong... The hell wasn't created only in Europe but here, too, and it pains even more when it concerns innocent children.
In my opinion, these two poems are similar but also different. The poem "Ode to Northern Alberta" is more literary and poetic, so I needed to translate it into Polish to understand better, and "Mama’s testament: truth and reconciliation" is written in a simple way, easier to understand. I feel that the first one is about the child who died at residencial school because of following words "(...) as an adult / he kept coming back / despite knowing / heaven is nowhere near here". Regarding the second, we know that the author has survived this hell. However, both of them describe the history of the children during attending to residencial school and their existence after that.
The title of "Ode to Northern Alberta" refers to residencial school in Alberta and "Mama’s testament: truth and reconciliation" I think is about adult student of residencial school who became the mom and is worrying about her child.

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Indelible Traces, Scars of the Soul; Irreparable damages

After reading the poems “Ode to Northern Alberta” and “Mama's Testament: Truth and Reconciliation” and knowing a little more about the history of residential schools, it is very difficult not to feel pain, sadness, anger and helplessness for what these two poets lived. I try to put myself in their shoes, in the shoes of all the victims, the children, the siblings, the parents but I can't, I wasn't there and I could never measure such suffering, I don't have the right as Rosanna Deerchild expresses it in her poem because no one who has not lived through it would understand the immensity of their pain. Despite being a mother of two little girls, I don't think I can recreate it but I don't want to either, it's heartbreaking just thinking about the moment of separation and then the events that occurred in those residential schools.
Rosanna Deerchild and Billy-Ray Belcourt express the pain through their poems, and what I find really curious is to see how they described their scars, they leave between seeing in their lines the marks left by those who were in that process. Rosanna Deerchild talks about a body that tells a story through the unwritten, through the broken lines of her body and the illnesses she currently suffers from as a result of her time in those schools and Billy-Ray Belcourt doesn't even have a body but it speaks of the pretense of having one. Both poets point out how difficult it is to forget and leave behind everything they experienced in that cruel time, Deerchild mentions how they have tried to forget but that always finds a way to drag them back and Belcourt. He relates that despite escaping from a residential school as a child, in his adulthood, he kept returning, I do not take this literally, I imagine that he refers to his thoughts of what he lived there in the past. Another curiosity between these two poems is that in Rossana Deerchild's poem there is a third party interest in listening to the story, a story that she does not want to tell, while in Billy-Ray Belcourt's poem the story is stripped bare and screaming but no one looks at it.
Both poems have very particular names and the way I understand them is that in "Mama's Testament: Truth and Reconciliation" the true testament is her body full of scars, that's all that the passage through residential school left her and that's all what he has to leave is the truth and reconciliation he presents it in a very difficult way because no one would understand anything of what they experienced for not having been there. And in the case of “Ode to Northern Alberta” the author puts that place as the protagonist, the way to always return to that place where he suffered so much because memories always delay him to that past.

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I am not surprised that this course is about schools for indigenous people. As mentioned, I was able to watch a documentary related to the school for indigenous people. I read both of these poems and it reminded me of the images I saw from the documentary about indigenous schools. I feel their pain, of each child who has studied at that "school". If it is more severe, it is not a school, it is a miniature "hell" where innocent angels are imprisoned by demons. In addition, the pain that the author sends into the poem is not only grief for themselves but also pain for their classmates, children who have forever rested in that hell on earth. Indigenous people, noble people, love peace, until now, they are willing to live with indigenous people.

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The poem “ode to northern Alberta” and “mama’s testament” both poem indicate what happened in residential school and how everyone knew about it but still kept it as nothing was happening there. What both poem has a same pain in their writing. In “ mama’s testament” it tells how residential school used to beat them, didn’t gave food so they used to suffer with various disease and mostly it was loneliness. Those days are not unforgiveable and unforgettable. After reading those poet I started to dig into this more and found some survivor and watched their story how they survived. Most of their parents didn’t even know what was happening until summer and kid used to vomit because of the food but those people used to make other eat the vomit. Many of the Survivors  committed suicide and some died because of alcoholic problem as they used alcohol to forget those. Some residential school has burned down as it might helps to remove the pain. No word can describe how those kids used to feel and what did they even do to deserve these

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As i read through the 2 poems, what really  caught my eye is where they keep trying to say that everyone is trying to reconcile, but they don't even talk about what happened to the past or no one is even reminiscence about it.  I think what they are trying to say is sorry and just reconciling isn't enough to heal those damage and traumas we also to reminiscence. Non-aboriginal people can not keep saying sorry especially when they are not there and they are not completely aware of what hell they have been through on the Residential School.

For the first poem "

Ode to Northern Alberta" I guess the tittle means that its a kind of lyrics or a story from Northern Alberta that is need to be tell . Then for the second one from the word itself "truth and  reconciliation," it means that the poem will talking about what happened in the Residential School and how much they suffer and how they treat the kids.

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First I want to remind everyone that we are writing our feelings about real life. A person only live once, that is why in "Mama's testament" there is no word to describe their catastrophic situation. I believe the word "story" is not a right one to name their real life. They lost everything and reconciliation can just have a positive impact on people other than Indigenous. In the name of education they took a healthy baby and then after 9 years they sent them back to the society with mental and physical health disorders. After 150 years when the world discovered their brutality, the matter of reconciliation is unacceptable because there no chance for Indigenous people to live again.

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You are not there!

I think that two poems express the pain and trauma resulting from residential schools in common while Rosanna Deerchild describes the deeper innermost suffering and resentment about the terrible experience of the schools than Billy-Ray Belcourt. In the poem of Mama’s testament, I can read that how the residential schools tore them apart in physical, mental, and cultural ways and how their entire life had been ruined.  Not only I felt their pain, but also, I can’t agree more with their anger on the Government attitude trying to solve their wounded past with the money without disclosing the truth and reaching sincere reconciliation. The titles of two poem have delivered the message they need to raise voices; Ode to Northern Alverta for representing for the people concerned and Mama’s testament for sharing the story to make a commitment and calls to action for the truth and reconciliation.

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Mother's Will: Truth and Reconciliation 1
Deerchild said, "I haven't said anything in 50 years"
I don't think I want to share painful wounds, painful pasts, and memories I want to forget through my boarding school life a long time ago. In other words,
“in broken English Full, Ruler Broken Bones, Bible Broken Soul” as you can feel
The murder of souls, forced education, and false rulers is a truly heartbreaking story. Even more so, I said, “My legs don't work because of the pain she suffered badly at her young age. Arthritis, diabetes” I also couldn't say anything. Although a long time has passed, the pain she suffered has not stopped, and I believe that compensation must be paid for this.

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After reading both “Ode to Northern Alberta” and “Mama’s Testament: Truth and Reconciliation'', I feel greatly upset for not just those who are mentioned in the poems but for all those who have gone through residential schools. In Mamas Testament: Truth and Reconciliation, I felt a lot of pain and anger when she said “you just tried to forget about it, leave it behind, some of us did, some of us are still trying”. For all these years, they have gone through so much pain and they can’t forget about it and it’s because of a bad system that they are still trying to live without thinking of their past experiences. When it was said “diabetes, from what we ate there, you know I never once saw fruit”, I was even more upset to think that the system would be this bad and that people's past issues are something they now have to face too. Both poems have made me realize the difficulties faced by those who were put into residential schools.

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The poem "Mama's Testament: Truth and Reconciliation" is how I imagined most Indigenous people would feel about the Residential Schools. When it says "He doesn't know, he wasn't there, you can't say sorry for the things that happened" made me realize any apology made should not be accepted, "sorry" doesn't take any of the pain the Indigenous people went through in the moments of the Residential Schools and the burden carrying with them years after. The first and second poem relate to each other by expressing the trauma that remains with them. "He keeps coming back here despite knowing heaven is nowhere near here", I believe what this line in the poem means is that no matter how bad the Residential Schools were an how badly they all want to forget, they can't because it was their life.