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Writing an autoethnographic essay compared to writing more traditional academic essays is very different. In an autoethnographic essay you research and write using autobiographical personal narrative that explores the writer’s life experience. You can reflect on a culture, action, emotion, self-consciousness, and much more. In an academic essay you answer a question or task which typically has a thesis statement and an argument. You present new pieces information or use existing facts and knowledge to deliver specific ideas or opinions based on what your topic is to write on. As we talked in class, in an autoethnographic essay you can use “I” while expressing your personal life in relation to how it correlates with that our class topic. You can talk about anything you’d like that has occurred in your life, but it doesn’t have to be an argument or answer a question. Simply, all you have to do is talk about a life experience or an overall life experience that you’ve dealt with while contributing it to our class topic of feeling like a prisoner. My essay, personally, did use “I” and I think it was a nice practice because I was always told not to use “I” in my essays. It’s also a nice way to expand on using your voice especially since it has a correlate with your personal experience and yourself in general. I was having a hard time trying to use my voice in my writings, but I think this helped expand on that while writing a new genre. (254 words)

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This free-write was where I was able to reflect on how the idea "power and inequality" has been relevant to our material in this course. It has expanded greatly and my thoughts on this free-write has advanced since the last time I worked on it. I was able to explain the inequalities and power in the system that seems to be ignored unconsciously. There could be so much said on these topics, but specifically talked about race, rankings, and gender norms. These seemed to be the top ones that stood out when we were to write this free-write. Now that I've expanded my knowledge and opinions on this topic overall, I seem to notice ideas and themes I've never recognized before and I think listening to others made me stick to my first initial thought. I never truly tried to talk or expand on prisons and prisoners because I was related to the topic through my father, but now I know more based on my imagination and thoughts that seem to make me reflect on how certain aspects impacted my conscious awareness.

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An autoethnographic essay that explains how I feel like a prisoner 

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In this autoethnographic essay, I build upon the skills I've developed in class discussions, class media journals, learning logs, and much more. I talk about how I've observed myself and my experiences. I used exhibit source Mohamedou Ould Slahi's "Guantánamo Diary: The Fully Restored Text" to help correlate with my life. Basically, I integrated a personal narrative and reflexive analysis to answer my question about the relationship between my observing self and a course topic/theme.

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Learning logs are where I track my development throughout this course. It helps me notice areas of writing or kinds of ideas that are tricky, I need help addressing strategies, and to recognize my learning and writing process throughout the semester. These logs help me notice my unique strengths and weaknesses of my development overtime. I was able to talk about what went well that week, what was challenging, did I make any connections, areas I wanna focus on to improve my writing skills are deep in my understanding, and much more. This was where I could make a note to myself so I can feel helpful and organizes in my process of becoming a better writer, reader, analyzer, and thinker. In this learning log, I talked about our small group discussion in class about Guantanamo Diary and what was difficult for me to do that week.

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Victoria Skillane in "Black Mirrors - White Bear" Episode

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I developed an argument based off of my own question using Carl Tibbets, "Black Mirrors - White Bear" episode as my exhibit source and Foucault's knowledge and Panopticonism/surveillance as my theory sources. His concepts offers theories of power that function within the prison, but extend beyond as well. I was able to explain social power in order to show how that has impact in this case as well. I wanted to write this advanced academic essay in an unexpected way so I wrote played devils advocate. This essay did raise some questions to me and others after I had written it, but I wanted to try writing in a new perspective.

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Caleb Smith's, "Introduction: The Poetics of Punishment" and Frank Darabont's, "The Shawshank Redemption"

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This first essay was based on who is the prisoner. I made an argument using Caleb Smith and my exhibit source Frank Darabont. I argued how Smith's bondage, freedom, and rebirth appeals and reflects the character Ellis Boyd Redding, also known as Red, in "The Shawshank Redemption." I represented the character's identity to shape the ways in which he embodies Smith's claim.

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"Life is about moving on, accepting changes, and looking forward to what makes you stronger and more complete." - Anonymous

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First and foremost, I would like to thank you for digging into my portfolio that shows my expansion in writing. I hoped it was thrilling to read and endure into.

In this course, I have learned that I should map out my concepts, ideas, and opinions in order for me to generate an essay out of. I also learned to value my progression of writing skills, opinions, and much more because as long as I keep moving forward and practicing my skills, I will improve. I learned how to use my voice with the help of the CMJ memos, CMJ responses, and autoethnographic essay. An overall lesson I’ve learned though is it’s okay to make mistakes in your writings, readings, or general understandings because you learn from those mistakes and try to advance in our mistakes. Skills I have practiced making concept maps, no matter how messy, in order to let my thoughts and relationships form between sources to create an argument. I was able to expand my knowledge on prisons and prisoners in the modern imagination as it is viewed differently among many throughout society. All of this brought up new ideas and opinions on how I felt towards the topic and those involved as I gained new information. I hope to apply all my skills to my future writings, coursework, and career because if I need to put a little persuasion in my work, I’ll need to use my voice to share my values, ideas, and support. I think my writing can improve more throughout the upcoming years and it is something I want to keep working on because who knows maybe I’ll end up going into an English career. I want to expand on different genres of writing to get a whole overview as I find more strengths and weaknesses that I can target. Applying my new and improved skills to future coursework can also help me feel more recognizable with my work while being able to express the topic of the course. (336 words)

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“The only time you should ever look back, is to see how far you've come.” - Kim SeokJin

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To start off my portfolio, I would like to welcome you to explore and read my work produced throughout this semester.

In this, you will find my first academic essay, second advanced academic essay, third autoethnographic essay, and other additional artifacts assessed in this course. The materials collected in this portfolio, are used as evidence to show progress towards the course goals and my personal goals. In this course, I’ve been able to become more aware of prisons and prisoners outside of a law enforcement standpoint as having a police officer in my household since I was seventeen. I noticed how films and readings interpret prisoners without knowing any other background information. Though, I seem to stand neutral when it comes to determining in prisons are hurtful or helpful. Personal goals I had in this course was mostly being able to find my voice. I seem to have a hard time answering it from within me without just giving the answer. I wanted readers to be able to hear my strengths and detect my weaknesses so I can receive feedback. I also wanted to find ways that will help me understand readings and ways to help me correlate what to write in my essays as well.

My development as a reader, thinker, writer, and communicator has advanced greatly within this first semester. I had a conscious awareness of how I wanted to gain speaking, writing, reading, and critical thinking skills, but it was hard for me to figure out in the start. In the beginning of the semester, I was scared to share my opinions and wasn't a strong writer in general. I didn't know how to incorporate my thoughts into readings, writings, or my relation to the course topic. There were times I was conflicted on what to write, what the readings really meant, and how to put voice into my writings that showed I understood the assignments. As my thoughts have been transformed, I now know that prisoners are actual human beings and not all are bad. Sometimes people in prison truly don’t deserve to be there, just as it is if you flipped the perspective. I do think there are certain situations where there needs to be punishments enforced, but I think everyone believes that. I’ve also realized that you don’t have to be in jail or a prison uniform to be recognized as a prisoner. There are times in our lives where we can feel like a prisoner and sometimes our minds are our greatest prisoners.

My goals and ideas about effective writing has changed severely throughout this semester and I didn't think it would hit me this quickly. There needs to be inner voice in order to drag your readers in along with a hook. It helps make a better argument or introduction to your essay. I never thought writing my ideas down on a piece of paper or mapping out my ideas would overall make it easier for me to form and essay. I wanted to get experience with writing a new genre which is in this case prisons and prisoners. It gave me an eye-opening experience which left me with appreciation and critical judgement. I wanted to be able to converse thoughtfully with others in class about ideas. These different forms of writing gave me the ability to produce clear expressions while effectively making myself more aware of different perspectives around me. I wanted to be able to notice a change in my essay and thankfully I have. I’ve never been prouder of my progress and awareness until this course. I was given the chance to reflect on my work as well as others in order to share opinions and ideas that could help generate our understanding to the topic and various perspectives. (630 words)

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Beginning Of The Semester Self-Assessment Email

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The CMJ help me explore the media for leisure and entertainment based on prisons and prisoners. Out of all of my CMJ memos, they were based on films. My role of the prisoner has changed throughout the semester. I've noticed different perspectives and reactions that has allowed me to engage in other ideas outside of class. I would explain the name of the source, the situation, interpret off of the situation, react, and give a closing statement. It was where I could write using my voice in my own perspective while giving my own opinions based on what I watched. In this CMJ memo, I talked about how police officer, Alicia West, was portrayed as a prisoner and what she went through.

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"Black and Blue - Survive the night. Expose the truth. The truth made her a target."

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In less than thirty minutes of the film, "Black and Blue," there is complete chaos. The scene starts with main character, Alicia West, who is a rookie in the police department. West is sent to be a ride along with Officer Deacon Brown, but little did she know, that was going to get her in a pickle. In the legal system, there had recently been narc officers charged with stealing evidence, filing false police reports and extortion. Officer Brown is part of these narcs, as well as the leader, Detective Terry Malone.

West heard shots fired while she was sitting in the cop car waiting for Officer Brown. She took responsibility of turning on her body camera and entered the abandoned power plant where officers from her department were killing what were assumed to be drug dealers. These assumed drug dealers were teenage boys. A boy named Zero, who was murdered, is the nephew of gang leader, Darius Tureau's. West is a police officer who caught footage of Malone killing Zero on her body camera that showed evidence of narc officers executing civilians.

As we have discussed in class, Officer West is the prisoner in this case and the narc officers, specifically Detective Malone, was abusing their legal power. West had to choose between life and death, as well as danger and safety. Since she filmed Zero being killed, the officers who committed this crime wanted West's body cam in order to cover up their mess. West wanted to give the footage to the IA, but she would be known as a rat. Rats are usually killed because they can't be trusted. If she wanted her freedom, she would have to go along with these executions and not snitch, but she says, "Murders murder." She could get the punishment and treatment of a prisoner or go along with this broken system which will automatically grant her life and freedom to do whatever she wants. Detective Malone was splitting the take of every drug bust made by their police department. This means half goes into evidence and the other half goes back on the streets. Malone had to clean up his mess before his chief and the mayor cracked down his "side" business. These officers abused their power not just because they are conveyed as the "law," but because they have such privileges. No one would expect this to ever happen from police officers, but throughout all these years, anything can happen. There's not always that sense of safety or honesty when it comes to the law.

This movie flooded me with multiple reactions and emotions. It took me over the edge at times and had me at the edge of my seat. This scene, specifically, made me feel sick to my stomach. The way that police officers convince themselves they are the "top" of society makes it aggravating because when I was little I believed police officers were super cool due to the fact that they helped people in need and made us feel safe. Now all I do is question their actions in frustration. Yes, not all people in the legal system are bad, but what makes people even do some of these actions? This movie just showed how this can actually happen any moment...and maybe they already have.

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This was where I could respond to peers CMJ memos based on the film, podcast, or source of media they used. I would thank the reader for their memo and their contribution while engaging with their post. I would weigh on a question the author posed and noting something interesting or puzzling I found. I would also bring further attention and other examples so there could be further complication their perspective. I would also pose another question the author had not displayed. This was another way for me to engage with my peers by using our voices. It was a new way of creating a conversation instead of being in a class environment. In this CMJ response, I talked about how people interact and think of prisoners in a different way and sometimes it impacts those who were or are prisoners in the real world.

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Thank you Pakhi, for your deep thoughts on the show, Manifest. I haven't heard of this show, but now that you have given me an inside scoop, I am interested in your view based on this scene. The first question you ask may be hard for others to answer. There are so many opinions and views on prisoners and prisons in general that it's hard to fully answer that question. Personally, I think we should treat prisoners as humans in order to make them feel welcomed in society. This is a big step for some people to take though because not everyone understands as to why they should be treated as ordinary people. Obviously, there are good and bad people in this world and everyone makes mistakes, but some do worse than others. I think that is just a given in this world, but some people change just like we've seen that in "The Shawshank Redemption." It's the matter of forgiveness while learning to gain trust. Your second question makes me think that prisoners have to learn how to adapt, while learning how to be accepted by society. I think once someone goes to prison, they come out with that stereotypical aspect society automatically assigns them. Prisoners may not be used to it, but I feel they eventually get used to how different things are from prison to the real world. It's also up to the prisoner for accepting that. In order for them to adapt, I feel they need to notice and recognize things will be different and they need to work their way back up to meet society "norms." I like the fact how you talk about one of the main characters being a cop as well. This scene is very eye opening as well as involving both aspects of prisons and prisoners. Specifically, the part where you talk about Radd's 18-year-old son acts as if life was sucked out of him. It's heartbreaking to know this is what happens to prisoners without having any support. It takes a toll on both the individual and the persons watching or witnessing. Do you think this show was trying to show an aspect on how prisoners who aren't guilty struggle worse than those who are guilty or how the legal system in general is messed up?

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Introduction:

Looking Back

Self-Assessment Email

Essay 1:

Caption

First Draft

Final Draft

Essay 2:

Caption

Concept Map

First Draft

Final Draft

Essay 3:

Caption

Concept Map

Free-Write

First Draft

Final Draft

Genre Analysis

Additional Artifact:

Caption + Free-write

Caption + Learning Log

Caption + CMJ Memo

Caption + CMJ Response

Caption + Essay 3 - Peer Review Letter

Conclusion:

Looking Forward

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Mathieu's contribution to give me more insight on my autoethnographic essay 

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Based on essay three, my auto ethnographic essay, Mathieu gave me more insight on how he felt about my essay and explained where he wanted me to explain more to give more of an understanding. I was comfortable enough to let him read my essay and he gave me reassurance on how I felt. He explained to me some of his life experiences and explanation to how that it's okay to show emotions. He also helped me make my essay stronger as a whole and expressed how he could hear my voice in my essay. He was able to question me on some parts of my essay which made me think more about my feelings in relation towards Slahi's "Guantánamo Diary." He also pointed out my strengths while letting me know where I should feel more comfortable in my writings.

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Peer Review Essay 3 Letter - Mathieu Brinckman