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Red Table Talk is a series on Facebook in which Jada Pinkett Smith, as well as her daughter Willow and her mother Adrienne Banfield-Norris, have meaningful conversations with celebrities about a range of important topics. In the episode linked below, Jada, Willow, Adrienne, and Ellen Pompeo talk about Ellen’s interracial marriage and provide an example of how to have conversations that are often deemed “uncomfortable.” Other episodes include Jada and Will discussing their relationship - in which Jada describes having to figure out what her life looks like as “Jada” rather than as a mother or a wife - and an episode on domestic violence in which Jada and Adrienne share with Willow stories about how domestic violence has impacted their lives. This serves as a reminder to me to “have the conversations,” even if it seems difficult or uncomfortable. This is especially true when working in educational spaces - in being willing to have the conversations and challenge the thinking of the people around us, we may help to create more inclusive spaces.

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Grey's Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo opens up about her interracial marriage and the challenges of raising bi-racial children.

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This link is to a virtual feminist book club organized by Emma Watson. I have found this site (and instagram: @oursharedshelf) to be a great resource in finding feminist texts. For teachers who are looking to incorporate feminist texts in their classroom, or for people who coordinate a book club of their own, this is a great resource for book recommendations.

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OUR SHARED SHELF IS CURRENTLY DORMANT AND NOT MANAGED BY EMMA AND HER TEAM.Dear Readers, As part of my work with UN Women, I have started reading as ...

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This Scholastic site provides a number of resources to incorporate Hidden Figures. I love this curriculum idea because it can be used across content areas and provides examples of women of color in STEM. In my experiences both as a student and as an educator, women - and especially women of color - are often excluded as exemplars in academic discussions. It is important to make all fields feel accessible to all students, and this can be facilitated through thoughtful inclusion of underrepresented groups in curriculum.

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Fast and Fun Resources for Hidden Figures | Scholastic

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Read on for the best sites to teach women in STEM using either the book or movie, Hidden Figures.

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Rupi Kaur is a poet who often writes in feminist themes. This is one of my favorites. It reminds me to be more thoughtful in complementing the women around me, and emphasizes how powerful word choice can be in reinforcing gendered norms.

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This book is one of the first books I can remember reading in which I was introduced to a character outside of a gender binary. This was in high school. In thinking about curriculum design, introducing students to gender inclusive content earlier becomes increasingly important. My teacher had chosen a book for each student, and we were asked to present summaries throughout the course of the semester to the class. Being tasked with leading and facilitating conversation as a high school student about gender identity and an intersex protagonist was an important learning experience for me, and one that I am reminded of when developing inclusive curriculum.

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- Edit worksheets to utilize a range of identities and minimize gendered stereotypes (ex: gender neutral pronouns in Math problems, mindfulness of gendered situations in scenarios)

- Research scientists/historians/authors from a range of identities, cultures, and perspectives

- Brainstorm ways each content area could incorporate discussions about gender and sexual identity (ex: sexual reproduction unit to include in vitro fertilization)

- Compile reading list of books to suggest to students

- Reflect on phrasing that may convey bias and practice restructuring that phrasing (ex: “kiddos” instead of “boys and girls”)

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Lauren Duca writes a column for Teen Vogue called “Thigh High Politics.” In it, she analyzes a number of mainstream events and figures from a feminist perspective. This resource feels useful as it’s publication in Teen Vogue makes it accessible to students. (Emma Sulcowicz is one of the women in the conversation linked below!)

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Thigh-High Politics is an op-ed column by Teen Vogue writer Lauren Duca that breaks down the news, provides resources for the resistance, and just generally refuses to accept toxic nonsense.
At the start of 2018, I was reflecting on resolutions for progressivism and feminism, specifically: How do we create a movement that is both inclusive and accessible for those still learning?

I wrote my first Thigh-High Politics essay of the year in an attempt to grapple with that question, ultimately suggesting that the answer might be an emphasis on more thorough and thoughtful dialogue. Teen Vogue 's chief content officer Phill Picardi and I have discussed this issue at length, and in reviewing a first draft, we recognized an opportunity: It's time to do the damn thing, and have these difficult conversations. The path forward isn't a declaration for any one writer to make, but rather a conversation to be had. Hence, this feminist roundtable was born.

I brought together a group of women: Brittany Packnett, an activist, educator, and writer who was a member of President Barack Obama's Task Force on 21st Century Policing and currently works as an education executive at a large education non profit; Sarah McBride, the national press secretary for the Human Rights Campaign and first openly transgender person to address a major party's national political convention; Akilah Hughes, a comedian, veritable queen of YouTube and the Internet in general; Emma Sulkowicz, a performance artist best known for their work Mattress Performance (Carry That Weight) conducted at Columbia University from 2014 to 2015; and Blair Imani, an activist and the founder of Equality For Her.

At an East Village restaurant, over calamari, we came together to break down feminist conversations, unpack call-out culture, and work to build a more supportive and inclusive movement. I am so grateful to Brittany, Sarah, Akilah, Emma, and Blair for sharing their perspectives that night. Below is an edited and condensed version of the conversation that followed. I hope for it to be the first of many.

LAUREN DUCA: Let's all talk about the sense of purpose behind our work. We get so caught up in self-policing our ambition, but prominence can be an essential force of political action. How do you keep yourself grounded in what matters?

BLAIR IMANI: When I was arrested while protesting in Baton Rouge, some people heroized me as a martyr, and others criticized me for having no context in the community, not covering up enough despite wearing my hijab, or having light-skin privilege. There was a lot of backlash, but also someone in the U.K. got a tattoo of one of my quotes.

BRITTANY PACKNETT: You're like Cardi B.

IMANI: There was the sense that I had been "fast-tracked." I texted [the political activist] DeRay [Mckesson], and I was like, "I don't want this influence!" He was like, "You don't get to choose the influence that you have." That was really sobering for me. You don't get to pick the moment that you come into prominence. You don't get to pick how people are inspired or not inspired by you.

PACKNETT: This sounds terrible, but I saw this quote on Instagram. It wasn't one of those fake deep ones, it was actually deep...

SARAH McBRIDE: It wasn't like a sun bursting through the clouds?

PACKNETT: It wasn't something you made on Canva. It said, "You had a purpose before anyone had an opinion." I am a person of faith - a progressive person of faith, but a person of faith nonetheless - and so, I am a person who believes that my work, my purpose, my impact was mapped out before I got here. It is up to me how I engage with that.

Both of my parents are ministers. My father passed when I was 12, so my mother got licensed to preach. She was ordained a couple of years ago, which doesn't happen for women in Christianity very often. On Women's Day, she went home to speak at the church where she grew up. I remember being super excited in the car on the way over - you have to understand, my mom was the first feminist I knew.

We roll up to the church, and the sign says, "Gwendolyn Packnett, Speaker, Women's Day." They took off the "doctor," they took off the "reverend," and they didn't say "preaching, they said, "speaking." I was fuming, but my mom was cool as a cucumber. I didn't understand. I was like, "Dr. P, what's going on? Why are you not mad like I am?" It's because she had a purpose before anyone had an opinion. In either direction, people were praising her and criticizing her, but before any of that stuff, she had something to accomplish.

It's all about showing people better than you can tell them. They literally put a podium on the floor, because they wouldn't let her stand in the pulpit. She preached so well that the pastor of the church stood up and said, "Preach, Gwen!" And then, he covered his mouth, because he realized what he said.

In that moment, it wasn't about me or how angry I was, and I've tried to use that lesson in my life: to be consistent, to have integrity, and to recognize that I am not here to run your race for you. I am not here to abide by what other folks have to say about what I'm here for. I am here to run my own race, and to do the work that I am here to do, and I can show you better than I can tell you.

DUCA: Emma, the idea of not being able to choose prominence has particular salience for you. You're an artist with a full body of work, and yet there are mainstream publications calling you "mattress girl." How do you deal with that?

EMMA SULKOWICZ: The first thing I was thinking while you were asking that question is, When have you ever heard a white, cis male being told that he was self-promoting every time he f*cking bragged about his work?

PACKNETT: And was mediocre!

SULKOWICZ: Like our president, for example. He brags every day, but [people don't] frame it as bragging, right? They talk about him as a "salesman," or a "good businessman," but as soon as anyone not fitting those characteristics speaks out in anyway, it's like, "She's an attention whore!" That's the one I get the most.

DUCA: "Attention whore" is obviously sexist, but also it makes no sense. Sometimes the purpose of the work is to draw attention to an issue.

SULKOWICZ: I don't know if you guys have been following the whole Chuck Close thing. He's a very famous portrait artist, and it turns out he's a Harvey Weinstein. The New York Times interviewed a bunch of museum directors asking if we should continuing to be showing his work. The responses were upsetting. One museum director was like, "If we go down this road, our museum walls will be bare?" And I thought, "Do you only show work by evil men?"

I got so upset that survivors' voices weren't included in the conversation. Why was this a conversation between museum directors who were completely removed from the picture? Part of the article was about the idea of putting an asterisk next to every "Harvey Weinstein's" work, and the museum directors thought even that was going too far. An asterisk is such a small punctuation mark, and it represents the embodied experience of real suffering. So, I was like, the only way these people are going to include survivors' voices in the conversation is if I go cover my naked body in asterisks and stand in front of these works of art hanging in museums.

I knew a lot of people were going to react like, "Emma's an attention whore." This assumption that I like being almost naked in front of people, when really I don't enjoy it at all. I'm doing it because I have to.

AKILAH HUGHES: Literally what they're saying when they call you an "attention whore" is "this was effective."

PACKNETT: It just means you're a woman with a voice, that's all "attention whore" is.

McBRIDE: I feel like my entire life I have struggled with the question of ambition. I stayed in the closet for so long, because it seemed like there was no way to pursue my dreams. Sharing my story as an advocate is wrapped up in my ambition. Yet, at the same time, we say we can't talk about our ambitions, particularly when it comes to politics.

As a society, we put this false humility on a pedestal. We associate it with chivalry, because it is part of a method of oppression. There is a demonization of focus and determination, because when we require marginalized people to work twice, or three, or four times as hard to get half as far, that requires a degree of determination and intentionality and focus and ambition that becomes impossible to conceal.

PACKNETT: That's real, that's right. This is how marginalization and oppression function. The rules keep changing, so you work twice as hard to get half as far, and then you're punished for the ambition. It works both ways. You are courageous enough to be honest about who you are in a world that is not going to welcome it, and then you receive some kind of pity trophy from people.

McBRIDE: I'm also interested in how that changes as one becomes more successful. I'm an underdog right now, to some degree, but if I actually succeed at things, then I'm punished for the ambition and navigation - the same navigation that was rewarded before it ends up becoming the tool they use to undo me.

DUCA: I think another way marginalized identities are weaponized is internally, via purity checking and performative outrage. I'm thinking about bad-faith callout culture especially. How have you seen this in your feeds?

HUGHES: There is definitely a trend of people purposefully missing a tweet's intention for the sake of rattling facts. So it's like, I'm clearly on your side, we clearly agree on this issue. Don't assume I don't know things because I didn't say anything. It's frustrating, because we end up making enemies and wasting time. It's like, the person who was robbing the bank just got away while you were telling me pennies aren't real.

DUCA: Right? There are feminists out there holding each other to the highest standards of perfection, while Mitch McConnell and whatever other villains are tearing off our goddamn limbs. Keeping intention in mind, what's a more productive way to provide feedback?

PACKNETT: I remember I used the words "differently abled" once and got shot down. My father was in a wheelchair before he died, and he used the words "differently abled," so that's why I used that word: from my experience with a disabled person. Still, there was a point in which the responsibility I felt toward my platform felt bigger. And so, I told the story of why I used the word, and I apologized.

HUGHES: I very rarely take to heart the criticism I receive online. Most of these people aren't using their real face, so why do I care?

DUCA: What about when it's another prominent progressive?

HUGHES: I typically ask them to take it to the DMs. Like, I don't know what you're hoping from this, but this is not how I operate. I don't do repeat performances.

PACKNETT: I definitely set boundaries.

HUGHES: I have a policy. Again, it goes back to intention. You probably agree with me. There's an ulterior motive here. Like, let's just be real with one another.... What I say online, I have vetted. If I don't agree with it anymore, I'll take it down. I'm happy to interact with people who would like to be courteous, but I don't believe my brain is somebody else's debate room.

DUCA: How do you vet things?

HUGHES: I use all the protections online. I only read things from people I follow, for the most part. Being a black woman on the Internet means I expect a lot of backlash.

DUCA: Also, so much of the infighting comes down to disagreeing over the ends rather than the means. There's such notorious tribalism in conservatism, but, generally speaking, progressives tend to spend a lot of time getting in each other's way.

SULKOWICZ: I think about this when I see a person who is crushing it in a way that I wouldn't necessarily crush it myself. The way I see it, I really believe in diversity of tactics. I think if we were all doing feminism the way I do feminism, we actually probably wouldn't be getting anywhere at all. To that end, I've stopped critiquing mosts feminists, because, if they're successful, it's like, at least you're f*cking doing it. Thank you for that much.

DUCA: You and Sarah sitting across from each other is actually an awesome example of this.

McBRIDE: I wanted to touch on both of those points. I think one of the biggest challenges we have in the progressive movement is this notion of demonizing different tactics. We need this recognition that multiple pressure points are necessary to affect change. I have come to recognize that my skills and tactics are best built for the in-the-room kind of change, but I also want people outside of the room protesting.

SULKOWICZ: And drawing asterisks all over our bodies...

McBRIDE: Yes! I think there is room for criticism that makes sure we are all fighting for the same goal, but we need to do a better job at recognizing diversity of tactics. As a trans person, I am very cognizant of just how important words are. So, when I get feedback online, particularly around the use of words, I try to remember that often it comes from a place of pain. This might be the first time I'm hearing it, but it could be the 20th time that day they're explaining it to someone.

HUGHES: I was thinking about this recently. I had this discussion with Jon Lovett from Crooked Media, and we came to this conclusion that decency only matters if decency is something that matters to you. We only hold people accountable, if we believe that they want to be better. I think that's what gets frustrating in terms of infighting. If we know the person on the other end will probably hear us, we offer a little bit too much sometimes. We need to give people space to practice their feminism, as long as it is not to the detriment of anybody within the movement.

PACKNETT: For me, the standard is not perfection, it is a demonstration of growth. If I come, and try to help you course correct, and then you listened to me, and your behavior changed over a period of time, you are still my ally. If you go and do the same thing again, you are not my ally. That is primarily what I am concerned about.

SULKOWICZ: I think what you're getting at is the difference between someone saying, "You don't know this, and therefore you suck," versus, "You don't know this, how can I help you? Let's do this together."

DUCA: Exactly that. I feel like a lot of the toxicity in progressivism comes down to refusing people the ability to learn.

PACKNETT: I try to focus on a pattern of what is being displayed, because you can't tell someone's intentions from a 280-character piece of content. You don't need to be perfect off the bat. I wasn't perfect off the bat. There is so much I have learned about LGBTQIA issues over the past three years alone by marching next to trans folks, and having a friend of mine go through the journey from identifying as a woman to being gender non-conforming. Don't go pull up my tweets from four years ago, because I didn't know everything back then. I have demonstrated a pattern of growth, and a desire to listen.

McBRIDE: We sort of forget that what we're talking about here is a movement. We need to allow people room to evolve. It's easy to lose perception of that on social media and with this news cycle. It's not helpful to completely cut off conversation and demonize people.

PACKNETT: We need to use our intuition.

McBRIDE: Yes, 99% of the population is going to be cis, and if you want people to learn, it is going to take time. I believe in the fierce urgency of now, but it does require some degree of grace, and allowing people to evolve.

PACKNETT: That is exactly what I was going to say. You are not starting at zero with someone. You are teaching them something that requires them to unlearn the old thing and learn the new thing simultaneously. You have to be intentional about that. I often say, I will you show you as much grace as you show responsibility.

SULKOWICZ: I also feel like it is important to remember how you got where you are. We're working off of the foundation that was built for us by so many feminists before who we probably disagree with because they're second-wavers. We probably disagree with all sorts of shit that was said by the suffragettes! But I just think, to be in the position where you might be correcting someone, that means you've already been corrected by so many people, and it's disrespectful to use everything history has handed you to be rude.

IMANI: That makes me think about my mom. When she first saw me in a hijab, she snatched it off my head, like, "No daughter of mine!" If the Internet saw that, they would cancel her, but over time she's gone through so much growth to try and understand where I'm coming from in my decision to wear it. Growth doesn't happen if we're constantly removing people.

PACKNETT: If we cancel everybody, how will we get the work done?

HUGHES: I'm from the south, Kentucky originally, and who am I going to cancel? The entire state? They're going to be red, so the best I can hope for is that they are willing to learn. When we're demanding perfection, we lose people.

DUCA: In regard to being more inclusive, I definitely get myself in trouble with dumbass misandry tweets. How do you think about better including men as allies?

SULKOWICZ: I think the question of how we include men is misreading the hierarchy. They should be including us. They already have their roundtable. To ask how we should include them paints this picture of us as a group that already has power in society.

McBRIDE: But what's the path forward?

DUCA: Yes, I agree with you, Emma, but I also think we need more men to make themselves uncomfortable in the effort of fighting for gender equality in order to have a truly successful movement.

PACKNETT: That idea is why I differentiate between the words "ally" and "accomplice." An accomplice is an ally who is willing to take a risk. He was willing to take a risk, but there will always be contrarians. I think the best way to frame it is: How can men better pull men into the conversation?

One of the beauties of Twitter is that you can sit there, and be quiet as a mouse, and not interrupt women when they are speaking. Fancy that! You can watch us have a conversation. You don't have to ask any questions. You can just sit, and watch, and learn, and resolve to do better.

Related: How Black Women Have Impacted Feminism Over Time

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Thigh-High Politics is an op-ed column by Teen Vogue writer Lauren Duca that breaks down the news, provides resources for the resistance, and just generally refuses to accept toxic nonsense. At the start of 2018, I was reflecting on resolutions for progressivism and feminism, specifically: How do we create a movement that is both inclusive and accessible for those still learning?

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“His name was privilege, but hers was possibility. His was the same old story, but hers was a new one about the possibility of changing a story that remains unfinished, that includes all of us, that matters so much, that we will watch but also make and tell in the weeks, months, years, decades to come.” -Rebecca Solnit, Men Explain Things to Me

This feels especially relevant in the era of #MeToo. While there are waves of privilege, mostly afforded to white men who are not held accountable for their actions, there have been moments of possibility that make it feel as though change is happening. This quote in particular (and many of the moments in this book) remind me to facilitate possibility, and to arm my students with knowledge so that they are ready for when “Men Explain Things” to them.