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I believe what I have been told that I am a selfless person. My giving love language is Acts of Service. I almost always go out of my way to help others before I will ever help myself. I am using this assignment to help me make myself a priority. And give myself this time to help myself instead of others this time.

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I am a part of the E-Team, this is my first year. Being a part of E-team I am learning how to be a good leader and representative for Emporia State University. I am enrolled in a leadership class that is required for this student organization. I am using this assignment to record my connections I have made with my fellow E-team leaders. We will be team-bonding as well as having a retreat at the same time I set for this goal.

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My New Years resolution for 2022 was to read more. I will be honest to say I have yet to start this resolution. I am taking this assignment as an opportunity to uphold my resolution.  For this two week period I will strive to read for at least thirty minutes from my book everyday.

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How do or will expectations, division of household labor, and costs of raising a child play into your future decisions? How could these future decisions affect your well-being? What can you do to maintain or enhance your well-being after this project is complete?

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How do or will expectations, division of household labor, and costs of raising a child play into your future decisions? How could these future decisions affect your well-being? What can you do to maintain or enhance your well-being after this project is complete?

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The division of house hold labor and costs of raising a child play a huge factor in my decisions of wanting kids or not. Growing up my parents gave an expectation that us kids were to be the ones doing a lot of the chores. I don't mean this in a child labor way, but we were expected to complete our chores to our parents approval and to clean up after ourselves. Speaking for me, cleaning now is a response to a trigger and something I will do as an act of service. During my parent divorces I was was often left alone at my childhood home. I was around the ages of 12 and 14 so I was trusted to be home alone. I didn't like being home alone because it was quite, and when it was quite in the house my feelings were loud. So the only way I knew how to make myself busy was to clean. Both my parents at the time were still working and my mom had gone back to school. Because I love and care for them I would clean the house as an act of service. Now being 19 I have noticed that cleaning is trigger response, when I am feeling depressed, have anxiety or feeling manic. I understand that I would benefit from counseling but that is a deeper conversation for a later time. This biggest drawback I have to wanting children is because I am a child of divorced parents. And I don't think I have ever gotten a whole of lot of closure from all of the bullshit I have experienced through past 8 years. My trauma is the reason why I don't want kids. My genes make me struggle. Why would I ever want to pass that onto my kids. The cost of raising a kid and college is also a huge drawback for me wanting kids. I think I would save so much money and work time by not having kids, which would help my well-being in some sorts. But with both of these aspects to the question, knowing that I would be a good mom but am to scared of motherhood hurts my well-being. Maybe things will change and who knows if I have or kids or not. The future is scary to me, because I am not able to control it. But I think with me wanting to be a school counselor and my own past trauma being one of my biggest inspirations for being one, I will see growth. I think after this project and starting to become a school counselor, I may be able to heal. I want to heal.

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I had higher expectations for myself before I started the goal. I thought it was easily achievable and I'm doing something I genuinely enjoy. Which are both true statements. I guess I didn't realize until I started the goal that when I used to be a cheerleader stretching everyday wasn't a goal but part of a routine. Now that I don't do the sport anymore, it was easier for me to "forget" to stretch. Because I wasn't stretching to prepare my body for something like practice or a game, but for my own personal gain and the assignment grade. I do want to continue stretching often, because I felt better after I did. I chose this goal to do first, because I expected it to be the easiest. And I appreciate that it made me refigure my expectations of myself, and discover that I need to start bettering myself.

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From February 21st to March 6th I completed my "learn" goal. My goal was to read the book "I Wish My Teacher Knew." A book I was just recently gifted this Christmas and have been wanting to read. After completing this goal I was very glad I chose to read this book for my learning goal, because I really enjoyed the book itself and the time I gave myself to sit down and read it. For several years I believed I wanted to become a teacher because I am very interested and passionate about Student-Teacher Relationships. I soon in my first semester of college realized that I was more interested in making positive relationships with students then the actual "teaching" aspect. After some help from friends, family, and my own I switched my major to Psychology. I am now in my school path to become a school counselor. I really loved this book because the author had spoken about many things I agree with, and other things new and old educators may want to take in consideration for their classrooms. While I don't wish to be an "educator" I still wish to be in schools, which is why this book was nice for me to read. I think it is also very important for school psychology students to read books like these or take classes like "Education Psychology" to get understand the teacher points of view as well as the psychology point of view.

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I had the toughest time thinking of something to do for this goal. I couldn't think of anything more that I needed to connect on. After looking at my academic calendar for the end of March and into April, I saw that I would be doing a "retreat" for being a part of E-Team. Instead of letting my anxiety take the best of me, I decided to use this assignment to push myself and make connections with being on E-Team. And I am glad I did because it put in perspective of how I have grown as a leader. Coincidentally during the two weeks I was completing this goal I, became a peer mentor, after a training I signed up to be a leader during Hornet connections, did my Hornet Connection on April 9th, and made some great connections with the people on E-team. Without this goal I think I would have already made connections with myself and the people on E-team. But I am happy to say that this goal pushed me to do so even further. I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried to not overthink so much. Now I am proud to say I am a part of E-Team, and am very excited to go to my first E-Experience as a leader this time and not a participant.

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This goal was without a doubt the mentally hardest goal to complete. I overthink A LOT, and constantly go back and forth with myself. I really wanted to use this and the mindful goal to help myself. Before lay down the negatives, I do want to say that I did try my best with this goal and I do think it helped. I knew the barriers would be big coming into this goal, but so were my intentions of completing it. As I have said in this project, I am a very giving person and will almost never be selfish or prioritize myself. One thing that I have slowly learned while being in college is that self-prioritization does not mean selfishness. My intention with this goal was to be better at this idea and put it into a perspective that worked for me. I printed out two checklist for "self-care" as you can bellow the "giving" goal. I think the reason I believe that I didn't complete this to the best of its ability is because I didn't assign myself something from the list everyday during the two weeks. In such everyday I would like the checklist and decide which one I may complete or see if I had done any without intention to complete it. I do think I did enough for this goal because I completed almost every self-care item on the checklists. But my overthinking and anxiety told me that I never did enough to honestly complete the goal. In counterargument to my anxiety, this goal and project is to better my Personal and Social well-being. And I am aloud to do so however I please and however well I can. Therefore I may feel that I could have done more, I am still proud of myself for what I did. And instead of feeling like I didn't do enough, I can encourage myself to continue small but beneficial self-care.

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Between Update 2 and Update 3 I completed both my Connect and Giving Goal. I gave myself a break from this project during spring break. I did this so my goals were equally separated and were each given a whole 2 weeks to achieve, throughout the entire semester. My intentions for my Connect goal was to connect with E- Team in an intrapersonal and interpersonal way. My intentions with my Giving was to give to myself as I am constantly giving to others. I don't think these two goals were necessarily "easier" to complete versus the first two. But I do ' think the two weeks went faster. I think this is because I didn't "assign" myself to do something within the goal, everyday during the two weeks. In the end I am happy with the results that I felt after completing both goals.

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I had an expectation of myself that I would slack on this goal because I would be to busy, or just didn't get around to read. But I'm happy to say that I was successful eleven out of fourteen days that I was to read. I have no good excuse for the the three days that I didn't read. After my "active" goal I tried to tell myself that it was okay that I had missed a couple days like I had did when I was stretching. I tried my best to not punish myself for the three days I forgot to read, because this goal was to help me better my personal well-being. As well as telling myself that I am a busy college student who is also trying to maintain my own social well-being. Often when I went to read I would go to the library after class, which I soon discovered I enjoyed very much. In some ways it felt nostalgic that I was in a library reading a book again, which I don't think I have done since elementary and middle school. Being more successful with completing this goal gives me the confidence that I can be just as successful or even more successful for my next goals.

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Focusing on the personal well-being aspect of this assignment, I am going to make my "mindful" goal about myself as well. With the help of my "giving" goal for this two weeks I will be working on providing myself with daily affirmations and to start up journaling. These are two things I have always considered doing, but have not actively tried yet. The thought of journaling has been an intimdating idea. I have decided to get a journal with writing prompts. This will help give me an idea of what write instead of relying on my own vulnerability to think of what to write.

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A barrier I should have expected to happen was my mental health. These past two weeks that I have been trying to complete my active goal has been a rough because of my mental health. The goal itself was not the reason for my rough week, but caused by family issues. I could lie and say that I have stretched everyday, but I think that would be cheating this assignment and myself. While I have done well, and have stretched every day for the majority of the two weeks. I hold myself to high expectations and will try my best to complete this goal to my best ability.

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How does communication, your bottom line, the 7 principles of smart love, your personality, and your conflict management style affect your well-being?

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How does communication, your bottom line, the 7 principles of smart love, your personality, and your conflict management style affect your well-being?

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Open communication and my personality often conflict with each other. I value honestly and active listening, but my personality is very often submissive therefore I "bite my tongue" for peace in the relationship. I am also someone who tries to give people the benefit of the doubt and values forgiveness, this also contradicts with my bottom line and conflict management. My conflict management style is "Compromising" this connects with my values of honesty and an open relationship. But contradicts with giving personality. I have been told before that I need to learn how to make boundaries, or I will be walked all over by people. Being in college I definitely have made several personal boundaries but still need to work on them. Overall if I feel as if the communication is one sided I will normally oblige to their side which in the end does not help my well-being and mental health. Following along with this question I chose to have my "giving" goal be my last one because I knew it was going to be the toughest. I will try to make myself more of a priority and stand up for myself in communication.

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I am most nervous with fulfilling this goal

Overthinking

Anxiety about starting something new

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Willingness to try

Great support system

Free therapy sessions are available if needed

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Social Anxiety

Anxiety about the retreat

Anxiety about being personable

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For two weeks I will take 5-10 minutes a day to keep up with my general flexibility. My flexibility is something I take pride in, I have not stretch as much as I used to. Therefore I am taking this assignment as an advantage to get back into stretching to maintain my flexibility.

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Finding Time

Holding Responsibility for myself

Shared space scheduling

Barriers discovered while completing goal

Mental Health/personal family issues

Finding motivation with depression/anxiety

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Student Efficiency

Motivation to be better

Friends to hold me accountable

I have fantastic friends who I am very thankful for. When I was struggling during this goal they would make sure I stretched and offered to stretch with me

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Time management

Quiet space

Energy

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Denial

Low Confidence

Fear of failure

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I am not alone

I have already made friends in E-team

I am excited to a part of this organization

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Interest in book

Motivation to fulfil resolution

Wish to gain knowledge from book

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Motivation to change for the better

Great support system

Personal expectations

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How do stress and perception of stress affect your well-being?

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How do stress and perception of stress affect your well-being?

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Stress and my perception of stress generally contradicts my well-being. I generally will desensitize my stress and anxiety by trying to ignore how I am feeling and persevere. I think my generation has been taught to do this ever since adolescence. Ignoring my stress, or not resting because of it worsens my well-being because I will often use going to the bathroom or eating a snack as a reward rather than having it be the necessity it is. My friends here at school have gotten on me for this, that I shouldn't wait to use the restroom before I have finished something productive. The TED talk in class about stress intrigued me to better my ideas of stress and how to better my well-being with it. I plan to use this during my "giving" and "mindful" goals because they are goals that are going to really focus on my personal well-being. In my "mindful" goal I plan to try to start journaling, through this I can try to explain my stress in my journal. Writing out my stress will be good for my well-being because it will allow me to put it into perspective and be able to release.