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151 likes, 12 comments. “many feels, here’s some care 🪴”

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WOC Sister Collective: Tending to Grief this Fall Season 🍂

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WOC Sister Collective: Tending to Grief this Fall Season 🍂

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WOC Sister Collective on Instagram: "🍂 Tending to Grief this Fall Season 🍂

As the leaves change and the air cools, it’s a good time to check in with yourself and how you’re holding your grief. Here are a few gentle reminders to carry with you through this season of change. 🫶🏽

This month, I’ll be holding space for various types of grief to help you move through this tender time.

Take care of your yolotzin 🍁

#Grief #FallHealing #TendingGrief #SeasonsOfGrief #ancestralmedicine"

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1,214 likes, 25 comments - wocsistercollective_ on October 15, 2024: "🍂 Tending to Grief this Fall Season 🍂

As the leaves change and the air cools, it’s a good time to check in with yourself and how you’re holding your grief. Here are a few gentle reminders to carry with you through this season of change. 🫶🏽

This month, I’ll be holding space for various types of grief to help you move through this tender time.

Take care of your yolotzin 🍁

#Grief #FallHealing #TendingGrief #SeasonsOfGrief #ancestralmedicine". 

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A post shared by WOC Sister Collective (@wocsistercollective_)

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We're all experiencing some form of grief these days. As this pandemic progresses, more of us will brush shoulders with loss.

The death of someone you care about deeply can be so gut wrenching and annihilating that you may be left unable to imagine ever regaining your equilibrium. And if you're there right now, just know you won't be in that painful place forever.
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I know, because that happened to me in early fall of 2017. That's when I lost my partner of three years in a motorcycle wreck.

His death flattened me. For two weeks, I couldn't eat. And for months after the accident, I barely slept, anxiety and exhaustion my constant companions. I came to believe that I'd never crawl out of the desolation.

But with proper care and attention, grief eases its heart-clenching grip. And, says grief expert Terri Daniel, embrace it fully and it can shake you alive and awake like nothing else.

"It's an opening to a new world, a new self, higher awareness, spiritual growth - whatever you allow to come in," says Daniel. "And it leads to greater peace in life."

Daniel knows this firsthand. In 2006, she lost her 16-year-old son to metachromatic leukodystrophy, a rare metabolic disorder.

"It was a progressively degenerative disease. He went from being a perfectly normal kid to in a wheelchair, unable to speak or manage his own body in any way," she says.

She offers these five strategies to help you cultivate a healthy relationship with grief.

1. Be with your grief.

Tending to grief requires us to be with it, in all its misery and messiness.

"We want to find a place where we can be present with it rather than be in resistance to it," Daniel says. "It's an old Buddhist teaching of sitting with uncertainty, sitting with discomfort. And that's the real tool we need for being with grief."

It's not easy. But doing so is key to embarking on the "tasks of grieving," which span the entire grieving process.

Psychologist William Worden developed the concept, which involves four main tasks: acceptance of the loss, processing that loss, adjusting to life without the deceased person and finding ways to maintain an enduring connection with your loved one as you continue your life.

Daniel suggests thinking of the tasks of grieving as you do other recurring tasks in life. You face the discomfort and do the work because a healthy mourning process demands our presence.

The tasks differ from the "stages of grief" made famous by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She described the denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance that a person goes through when facing their own death.

One thing is certain: Sidestepping grief isn't an option. Numbing the pain with work, alcohol or other drugs only delays the inevitable, says Sonya Lott, a Philadelphia-based psychologist.

"We have to move through it, or it will continue to show up in insidious ways in every aspect of our being: physically, cognitively, emotionally, spiritually," says Lott.

2. Grief is a lifelong journey.

The acute pain will subside, but the pain of loss never fully leaves us. It finds us at unexpected moments.

When you're in the throes of acute grief, this may sound untenable. But Daniel says, given time and space, grief matures into an old, comfortable friend.

It has been more than 13 years since Daniel lost her son. And when a wave of sadness hits her shore, she embraces it.

"I like to say, 'Hello, grief. ... I don't want you to be here, but I'm going to make friends with you because I can't get rid of you. So come on in and sit with me, and I will be your friend,' " Daniel says. "That's how you heal. That's how it strengthens you."

3. Grief needs expression.

Paint, sculpt, throw clay, dance, bake, journal - whatever feels right. And reach out to trusted friends or family members who get it.

"One of the things a grieving person needs more than anything else is to tell their story and be heard," she says.

Many people benefit from support groups or time with a grief counselor.

If after a year, you still feel stuck, you could be moving into complicated grief. While regular grief doesn't usually require therapeutic intervention, that changes with complicated grief, says Lott.

She specializes in treating the condition, also known as prolonged grief disorder. Lott says it's diagnosed when a person experiences acute grief that interferes with their daily functioning more than a year after the death. A host of factors puts people at risk for complicated grief, Lott says. Among them are multiple losses within a short period, preexisting mental health conditions and unexpected deaths.

For that there's an evidence-based treatment called complicated grief therapy. You'll have to find someone like Lott who specializes in this, and it involves between 16 and 20 therapy sessions.

If you need help finding a therapist, there's a Life Kit for that too.

4. Healthy grieving involves pingponging between loss and restoration.

The journey through grief is not linear.

"So you're sad, you're crying, you can't get out of bed. You're angry. That's loss," Daniel says. "Then you get out of bed and you go write in your journal and take a walk in nature - that's restoration. Back and forth, back and forth. As long as you're moving between those two focuses all the time and you're not stagnant, you're gonna be fine."

Eventually, you'll find yourself residing mostly in restoration, which is healthy but also sometimes brings its own challenges.

"There's so much guilt that comes with that," she says. "We feel that holding on to our pain keeps us connected to our loved one, and it's not true."

Instead, Daniel and other grief experts urge you to find a positive way of remaining connected. Doing so is one of those important tasks of healing. For some, it's as simple as framing a favorite photo or planting a tree. For others, it's getting a tattoo. Or in the case of Daniel, adopting her son Danny's first name as her last.

5. Grief can break you open to a new you - if you let it.

In early grief, the change to your life is unwelcome. But grief is supposed to change you, Daniel says.

And for many of us, the healing period brings new passions and sometimes an entirely new direction in life. You may find yourself starting a charity, volunteering or going back to school.

For me, it has been to better understand profound grief so that I can continue healing and, when possible, help others through it.

"The term that we use in counseling is 'meaning-making,' " Daniel says. "You make meaning out of your life."
We'd love to hear how you're coping during the coronavirus pandemic. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at If you want more Life Kit, The audio portion of this story was produced by Meghan Keane. subscribe to our newsletter. LifeKit@npr.org. Your tip could appear in an upcoming episode.

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Grief For Beginners: 5 Things To Know About Processing Loss : Life Kit

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subscribe to Life Kit podcast subscribe to Life Kit podcast We're all experiencing some form of grief these days. As this pandemic progresses, more of us will brush shoulders with loss. The death of someone you care about deeply can be so gut wrenching and annihilating that you may be left unable to imagine ever regaining your equilibrium.

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Collective Grief & Healing: Nap Ministry

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Collective Grief & Healing: Nap Ministry

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Collective Healing + Grief Circle | Let's Process Together ASMR

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10 minute grief meditation

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What does grief look like?

Grief is the natural human response to loss. While the death of someone you love might bring on the most intense form of grief, painful loss can come in so many different forms, including (but not limited to): the loss of a partner through a breakup, the loss of a friendship, the loss of a job or financial stability, the loss of a pet, the loss of your health due to illness or injury, and the loss of a marriage.

Each person's grief process and healing journey is different. Emotions can range from shock, disbelief, anger, guilt, and irritation to loneliness, anxiety, despair, and sadness. And because our mind and body are inseparable, the physical symptoms associated with grief are very real. These can include changes in appetite, sleeping problems, loss of energy, illness, and physical pain.

The benefits of meditation for grief and loss

The rollercoaster of emotions and sensations associated with loss can sometimes feel like too much to handle. While meditation doesn't change the way we feel, it does change our experience and perspective of those feelings. Practicing mindfulness meditation for grief, or observing thoughts and feelings without judgment or reaction, helps the body and mind find peace and refuge in a time of great change.

In a published study conducted at Google and Roche with 238 employees, eight weeks of using the Headspace app resulted in a 46% reduction in depression and a 31% reduction in anxiety - two normal emotions for those who are grieving. Meanwhile, research shows that just 10 days of using the Headspace app decreases stress by 14% and irritability by 27%, and that using Headspace for meditation increases resilience, an ability that is key after a loss that changes your world.

In remembering that grief is a shared human experience, and that there are millions of other people in the world experiencing sadness and grief, we can start to feel less alone.

Along with meditation for grief and sadness, a helpful tool for processing grief is joining a grief support group, like Our House in Los Angeles. Being with others who are experiencing similar feelings can provide immense comfort and support. Try to remind yourself that grief is too much for one person to lift all by themselves - it requires that you get support, whether that support is from your family, friends, colleagues, religious community, or a grief support group.

A quick guided meditation for grief and loss

In practicing meditation to release grief, you might come across the body scan technique (used below). The body scan exercise helps us bring our body and mind back together again. It's not about changing anything, it's simply about noting what you find.

When you're ready to begin your practice, take a moment to get comfortable on a chair or on the floor, then take one or two deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth. With the next out-breath, gently close your eyes and allow the breath to return to its natural rhythm. Notice how the body feels right now. Note if there's a sense of stillness or restlessness, and if there's a sense of heaviness or lightness. Starting at the top of the head, scan down through the body at an even pace from head to toe. Notice the different sensations; notice what feels comfortable and what feels uncomfortable. We're not trying to change any of the sensations, we're simply observing and watching as we move the mind down through the body. Allow thoughts to come and go, and gently bring the attention back to the body as you continue to scan. When you've scanned down to the bottom of the feet, gently open the eyes again.

Working towards acceptance

When we are grieving a loss, it's normal to be in a state of disbelief or to feel a strong sense of anger and injustice. Whatever emotions arise, judging and/or suppressing those emotions only exacerbates them. But when we use meditation to sit with our entire being, we can embrace and process what is happening now. Acceptance does not mean forgiving, ignoring, or excusing what has happened. It simply means recognizing what has happened, processing it, and in time, finding that you are a stronger and different person because of it.

Remember, every individual's grief process will be different. Someone might suggest that "you should get over your sadness already," or that "you've been grieving for long enough." You don't need to pay attention to these comments. Gently remind yourself that your journey is your own, and you will benefit immensely from taking the time you need to heal.

READ NEXT: Meditation for stress

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Grief is the natural human response to loss. While the death of someone you love might bring on the most intense form of grief, painful loss can come in so many different forms, including (but not limited to): the loss of a partner through a breakup, the loss of a friendship, the loss of a job or financial stability, the loss of a pet, the loss of your health due to illness or injury, and the loss of a marriage.

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Herbs for Grieving – Womens Naturopath Sydney & Northern Beaches

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Dear friends, it’s been a challenging time recently for me with my father’s passing, and I wanted to share something with you that may help if or when you walk the path of grieving. Loss hurts. It doesn’t matter whether its someone close to you, a family member, a pet, a close friend, someone you were bonded with or perhaps you’re grieving for the loss of something, a job for instance. Very possibly, it’s some loss that you’ve faced with COVID-19. So many people lost their livelihoods, freedoms, a family member, their health and more throughout this pandemic. Letting go and moving through the grieving process with grace is something our plant friends can help us with. This article really comes from my heart to yours. Through connection we heal. So I’ll be sharing here the herbs that can assist with the various stages of grieving and in particular, those that make us stronger, more resilient and those that nourish us, like a hug in a cup. My journey is the loss of a kind and generous man in my life. Whatever your grief journey is, I hope you find this helpful.

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Healing In Times Of Great Change: Grief, Loss & 5 Herbs to Tend to a Grieving Soul

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Healing In Times Of Great Change: Grief, Loss & 5 Herbs to Tend to a Grieving Soul

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Traditional Chinese Medicine has a holistic view of the mind and the body. Everything is a part of the natural cycle of life and of nature. When the elements in nature are in balance and harmony, life flourishes and abounds. When there is an imbalance, there is upheaval and disease. We cannot dissociate our life and health from what is happening around us.We are all part of the big picture.

The 5 Emotions in Traditional Chinese Medicine

One of the classical texts often referenced in Chinese medicine, the Huang Di Nei Jing (The Yellow Emperors Classic of Internal Medicine) identifies five emotions as major causes of disease. They are:

- Fear (Kidneys)

- Anger (Liver)

- Worry (Spleen)

- Sadness/Grief (lungs)

We are all subject to these emotions at one time or another in our lives. When one of them becomes excessive and isn't properly addressed or processed, it can damage it's pertaining organ system and can start overwhelming us.

Grief is a painful yet necessary process. All of us have experienced grief, sadness or loss at one time or another in our lives. These emotions don't just happen with the loss of a loved one. They can happen with the loss of a job, a property, a move, a break-up or, for some, the hardships of daily life.It is a transitional period of acceptance that one part of our life has forever changed and that things will never be the same. We sometimes lose sight of the fact that everything around us is temporary and transient. Life, like nature, consists of birth, growth, transformation, decay, and death. It is all a part of the circle of life.

In our current culture and society, we have been taught to embrace 'positive' emotions such as joy and to ignore or tone down 'bad' emotions such as anger, sadness, grief or depression. Suppressing some of these negative or 'heavy' emotions over time can damage its corresponding organ system and worsen the internal emotional upheaval.

While all of our emotions have the potential to negatively affect our health when excessive, g rief is one of the most difficult emotions to process. If addressed in a timely manner and properly transformed, it can be a very powerful lesson and exercise in personal growth without overly affecting our bodies.

Lungs are responsible for us inhaling clean and oxygen-rich air while exhaling toxic carbon dioxide.In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the lungs are also responsible for opening and closing the pores of the skin.These pores allow opening for proper sweating during exertion or hot weather when balanced, and closed when external conditions, like a cold wind, surrounds us.

Grief and sadness directly affect the lungs. If we are unable to express these emotions or are being overwhelmed by them, it will weaken the lungs and compromise their main function: respiration. Typically this will manifest in people with a hard time taking full breaths or feeling like something is sitting on their chest weighing them down. Some will have a flare-up of asthma or allergies.A weakened lung qi can also lead to the pores opening, thereby making them susceptible to external conditions and catching colds easier.Open pores can also lead to easy excessive sweating such as night sweats or hot flashes.

When the lung qi or vital energy is strengthened, we are once again able to take deep breaths-- breathing in new vitality and ideas- and letting go of negative thoughts or prejudices that are toxic to our minds.

Fall is the Season of the Lungs

Our organ systems are especially vulnerable during their respective seasons.

The lungs and large intestine, both metal elements are most vulnerable during the fall while, for example, the liver and gall bladder will be more vulnerable during the spring.

Fall is a transitional period between summer and winter. The weather cools down and becomes crisper. Leaves change color, dry out and fall to the ground where they will decompose and make room for new growth in spring.It is a time of harvest, canning and preparing ourselves for winter.

Just like the fall season, during our time of grief, it is essential to slow down, look inward and process our emotions. It will help us regain our strength, practice letting go and find our new place in the world.

When we leave our emotions alone for too long and don't take the time needed to find the answers we need, unresolved issues from our past can resurface and cause more sadness and insecurities.They might cause our grief to become chronic and prevent us from living life to the fullest.

If we take the time to acknowledge and process everything during this difficult time, it will allow us to have a better understanding of ourselves and help us maintain and cultivate a tighter bond with our emotions, our bodies and ourselves. It might even allow us to be our most authentic selves going forward.

"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

Everything that happens in our lives can affect us positively or negatively. Sometimes we can control these outside influences, and sometimes we simply can't. They just "happen".

It is then up to us, to decide how we are going to handle these emotions:Are we going to use them in a positive way to gain new wisdom and insights about ourselves or are we going to ignore them and run the risk of them causing chronic pain and suffering? It is only when we allow grief to really touch us and move us to our core that we allow healing to happen.

Take a deep breath and inhale good energy.

Release the breath and exhale all the toxicity from your body. Visualize the breath entering your lungs, clearing your head and then exhale and see the breath leaving your body through the bottoms of your feet.

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Grief and the Lungs from a Traditional Chinese Medicine Perspective

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Traditional Chinese Medicine has a holistic view of the mind and the body. Everything is a part of the natural cycle of life and nature. Grief and sadness directly affect the lungs. During our time of grief, it is essential to slow down, look inward and process our emotions.

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